"I'll Be Your Mirror"?
Uh-huh. That's the one.
Cheers.
- Lisa. - Veggie.
You're here?
Yeah, sorry. What are you doing here?
You went out in the middle of the night. Again.
I thought you might've ended up here.
Why?
Lisa, what's in the box?
Oh, yeah-- Yeah, it's a cat.
- Yeah, that'll be it. - I'm just bringing the cat because--
Lisa, no, look. Forget about that. What the hell is going on with us?
Aren't you going to introduce me?
Yeah.
Of course, yeah.
Leese.
Hey. Okay.
For me?
Yeah.
I thought he could replace Rebecca de Mornay.
This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
I'll have to take you off my list.
Okay. Lisa, can we--
Yeah, sorry.
Sorry. Would you mind?
Not at all.
Yeah, that's okay. I fancied a walk anyway.
Nice to meet you.
Bless you.
Thank you.
Hey, it's Amy. Leave me a message, and I'll get back to you.
Hey, it's Danny. Just making sure you got home okay.
I'm sorry things got a bit weird earlier.
I wish I could say things like that don't happen here,
but that would be a lie.
So, if you're up for more of the same, great.
If not, I could move. I hear Canada's nice.
Call me when you get this.
By the way, you left your makeup bag here.
Hopefully on purpose. I don't know.
Okay, night.
- A secret storage unit? - Oh, my God, it's not a secret.
Well, I didn't know about it.
And why have you been hiding my dad's horse there?
What do you mean, "Why"? Look at it!
He can't do faces. Okay? But that's not the point. It's--
It's the deception.
It's a storage unit, Veggie.
Okay, you wanted me to get rid of my old stuff.
I didn't want to. It's called a compromise.
Well, I'm not just talking about the storage unit, okay?
I'm talking about us. Things have been so weird
since we went camping, and then there's tonight.
What are you doing at Danny's?
Well, what are you doing at Danny's?
Well, no, that's a separate--
Okay, I was-- No, I asked you first! Well?
- I'm not sleeping with him, Veggie, am I? - I know you're not!
No, it would make more sense to me if you were.
I don't think you know what it's like for your partner to come alive
as soon as you go to bed. It's like I--
I sleep through all your shine.
I wish you were sleeping with him. You know, at least I could be angry.
You know, we could work through it.
But I don't even know what the problem is!
Let alone how to fix it.
I'm really sorry I've been distant lately.
You have. Because you thought I was gonna propose.
What?
- Hey. - Why did you tell Veggie
- I thought he was gonna propose? - I didn't. How'd you know? Not that I did.
He told me he came to see you.
- Why did he do that? - How did you even know?
- 'Cause you told me. - No, I didn't. When?
- When would I do that? - Gemma's hen do, after you got arrested.
Hold on, does that mean he's not proposing?
No, I don't suppose he is, given he's left.
Oh, shit.
What was that?
No, nothing. It was nothing. So, like, left as in never-coming-back left?
Don't know. He's packed an overnight bag.
- Are you gonna be okay? - Not really.
Look, getting dumped for the first time can be hard.
- It's just-- - I haven't been dumped.
No. No, I know. Okay. First time you get left temporarily then.
That's not much better. Oh, God. Am I gonna become like you now?
No, to become like me you need a very special kind of dumping.
The kind of humiliation that literally keeps you up every single night.
Hi.
Neville.
Hi. Danny.
What are you having as a main?
The fish, I think.
I didn't read the menu properly. Turns out there's chicken on there,
so I'm trying to swap. If you hear of anyone...
I'll let you know.
She's not being unreasonable.
No, of course she's not, Mum.
Well, she's two years old. I've gotta go.
Yeah. I'm hanging up.
If anyone asks, would you mind saying that I've been here all day?
- Sure. No problem. - Thanks.
I'm Danny, by the way.
Hi. Lisa. Nice to meet you, Danny.
Nice to meet you.
What have I missed?
Just the canapés. And the ceremony.
Yeah, I know. I do feel bad. But at the same time,
you've been to one wedding, you've been to them all. You know?
We get it, you love each other. Now, when can we get pissed?
- Is this wine open? - Yeah, go for it.
Yeah.
Is that better?
- Much better. - Yeah.
If I ask you something, do you promise to tell me the truth?
- Absolutely. - How big are the bags under my eyes?
They look fine to me.
Haven't slept for about two months. Chronic insomnia.
Really? I'd hate that. I've never had a problem sleeping.
- Waking up, that's the problem. - Well,
if I start jabbering like a madwoman, you know why.
I thought you'd already started.
So, what is it that you do, Danny?
I write for the NME.
Really? That's properly cool.
It's pretty perfect for me, to be honest.
I mean, I go to loads of gigs, I drink a lot of cider,
and then I watch a lot of men in tight jeans play the synthesizer.
Sounds like a job I'd like. How do you know the happy couple?
- Oh, well, I actually-- - How's my little munchkin?
Your munchkin is doing good.
This is Lisa.
You were at the hen do.
Oh, yeah. Had to leave early. Yeah. How are you?
I'm good. A bit nervous.
Chloe's a singer. She's performing tonight.
Wow.
I know. Hannah asked me especially, and I was like,
"Can't I get you a toaster like everyone else?"
Yeah, I love toast.
Chloe sings the song from the car commercial.
- The one where it races the cheetah. - Sod off. That's you?
Yeah. Now it's gone a bit viral, so...
"Bit viral"? Very modest. Very viral. It's gone really viral.
- Wow! - She's the best.
He's my little cheerleader.
Been championing me since day one.
Hey, we should really prepare.
Okay, sure. I've gotta go, guys. Sorry.
Good luck.
Yeah, that's Milo. He's kind of taken over as manager now.
Since it-- everything's blown up. It's--
Why is her manager here? It's hardly Glastonbury.
Yeah.
He wants to put it on YouTube.
Says it could play well.
Not forgetting her roots, that kind of thing.
- But I don't-- - Wine?
- I'd love some, yeah. - Yeah.
Chicken or fish?
Yeah,
Lisa, Neville. Neville, Lisa.
Fish.
- Cheers, Danny. - Cheers.
Poor Neville.
I really hope he managed to forage some chicken from somewhere.
Didn't you hear?
The kitchen found him eating out of the bin at the end of the night.
- Out of the bin? - Yeah.
I really wish all people remembered from me that night
was asking their dinner choice.
Not everything that happened was bad.
I mainly remember the bad stuff.
Well, you met me.
- Yeah. Case in point. - We had a good time. We had a laugh.
- We didn't. - Yes, we did.
No, we did. Yeah, we did. We did have a laugh.
No, wait, wait, wait. No.
Don't tell me you put "tea drinker" in your bio.
What? I love tea!
Yeah, who doesn't? But you may as well have put "air breather."
Look, I've known you two seconds,
and trust me, you're not that uninteresting.
Okay, well, what would you put then?
Okay, how about this?
Right. "With the news that Lisa Osgood is back
on the dating scene, her incredible sense of humor
and frankly impeccable fashion sense
surely means that 2019 is gonna be her year."
There we go.
You've just received your first five-star review by the NME.
- There might be a few typos, but-- - I love it. Thank you.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Okay, one last thing. - Okay.
Do we really think this photo is the best representation of you?
What is wrong with that? When you find a massive crisp,
it is your duty to share it with the world.
Honestly, look, I agree. It's a whopper. But we're in the minority.
- Let me take a photo of you now. - What? Oh, no, I'm a mess.
No, you're not. You look amazing.
- Fine. - Yeah?
Yeah, well-- Take it before I change my mind.
- Very quickly. - Okay.
Okay? You won't even know it happened.
- All right. You let me know. - ...a second.
- Yeah, you good? - Yeah.
All right. You ready? I'm ready.
Okay.
Are you taking it or what?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Photo taken.
Thank you.
You know what? You'd better put that on silent,
'cause that is about to blow up.
We'll see.
You were quite the wordsmith.
I'd totally forgotten that happened.
You know, that wedding was the last time I went dancing.
Like, you know, proper dancing-dancing.
We should go dancing.
Like, right now. What's stopping us?
Well, me. Hello, I'm agoraphobic.
But you left the flat to come and find me.
But that was-- Well, that was different.
Well, how?
Well, because you needed me.
Right.
What are you doing?
If we can't go to the club, the club is gonna come to us.
Oh, no.
- Right. - My tummy aches.
Come on, it's just us.
- Leave me alone. - Daniel, get up.
- No. - Right now.
I'm gonna go to bed now and get some rest.
Come on.
It looks fun, but listen, I'm gonna go.
Have a great evening.
- Fine. - Yay!
And the rope. I'll pull you in.
I'm coming in.
I Gotcha.
I'm pulling you.
- You're heavy. - Heavy?
It's hot.
What's "Greased Lightning"?
"Greased Lightning"? This.
That's not "Greased Lightning." That's Saturday Night Fever.
Do this as well.
Bit of this. You got a box set. Travolta.
The jogging man.
Like this. And the walking man. Just a walk.
- Gonna hit my robot. - Go on then. Let's see it.
Bad robot.
- Hey, that's pretty good. - No.
Why can't you see me?
So, how long have you been with Chloe then?
Almost three years.
Wow, okay. Long time.
- So, is she the one? - Well, it's f--
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Chloe Wheaton!
Thanks so much. Okay, let's get started then.
And if you know the words, sing along.
I feel him wherever I go When I'm high and when I'm low
- Can I tell you a secret? - Sure.
He's my satellite My leading light
Bloody hell.
What do you think?
I think if you proposed to me with that,
I'd be dry-humping you in the car park within ten minutes.
- That's good, right? - Usually, yes.
Well, I'm a bit nervous, to be honest.
Why?
You're not doing it tonight, are you?
Can't wait any longer.
I want to get to know him
Work out what it is that makes him Stand out from the crowd
Tell the world I'm proud that he's my satellite
- I'm just gonna get a drink. - Okay, yeah.
Running rings around my heart Such a--
Ladies and gentlemen, Chloe Wheaton!
That was so shit. The sound in here is a joke.
Hey, hey. You were great.
Why don't we get out of here?
I can't. I'm singing for the hora.
After that we'll get out of here.
Your room or mine?
Well, Danny's in mine.
Oh, well, mine then.
I cannot wait to get you out to LA.
They are gonna love you there.
Listen, I haven't mentioned it to Danny yet,
so don't say anything.
It'll crush him.
Why don't you write a song for him on the new album?
That'll cheer him up.
New entry. Caerphilly crumble. Crumbly cheese from Caerphilly in Wales.
Little cracker with a crumbling after. A little wave to the Caerphilly people.
A little cracker. Crumble it off and then a--
a little bit of swag with the crumbling off,
and then the hips, hips, hips, hips.
Hello? Wait, no, no. I was in-- I was getting into that.
Little bit of hip, little bit of hip, little bit of shiver.
Did you really think Chloe was the one?
What? I don't know.
Honestly, I'm not sure I believe in "the one" anymore.
I mean, what if that person's in China? There's 1.4 billion people there.
Statistically, she probably is. I don't speak Chinese.
I'm sorry, Danny.
That's okay. Don't worry, I'm over it now. More or less.
No, I--
Like, I could've saved you from doing what you did.
- All right? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- I'll get it. - Sorry, Danny. Sorry.
- There you go. - Thanks.
No worries.
You sure you're all right?
Yeah. Good.
- Wish me luck. - Yeah.
What? No, Dan. Oh, my God.
- Babe, what's going on? - You'll see.
What a day. Hello. Hi.
My name is Dammy Gibson. Dammy, Danny.
My name is Danny Gibson.
And for those of you who don't know,
this wonderful person here is my girlfriend.
Now, Chloe,
I would like to ask you a question.
And that question is...
Danny.
Danny, please don't do this. Not here.
I was-- It's just that I've--
Wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Wanna make you understand
One, two, three.
Never wanna give you up Never wanna let you down
Never wanna run around and desert you
Come on. It's real!
Never gonna make you cry Never wanna say goodbye
Never wanna ma-- Tell a lie and desert you
Babe, can we talk privately?
Yeah.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Now I-- Mic drop.
- Oi! - Sorry.
Who even does that?
Proposing at someone else's wedding and still managing to screw it up?
Yeah. I swear it was in the pocket.
It's not about the ring, Danny! I was never gonna say yes.
Yeah. Right. Why?
It's so clear to me now. I've outgrown you.
You know, I thought we were going down the same road together.
But the truth is, you're going nowhere.
Nowhere I wanna go anyway.
There you are.
The label want your feedback on the design for the album cover.
Okay.
Probably for the best, mate.
I don't know if I told you,
but I actually found the ring later that night.
It was in my jacket pocket the whole time.
I don't know if it was the universe intervening or what, but--
Yeah. No, the universe didn't take your ring, Danny.
I took your ring.
What?
You bent down to pick up my bag and I took it out of your pocket.
No. How the-- No, how'd you get it back in the pocket?
Well, I slipped it back in when I was saying goodbye to you.
Are you telling me it was you the whole time?
I'm really, really, really sorry.
You're sorry? How could you do that to me?
I just-- I don't know. I just sort of did it without thinking.
Who ta-- No.
Who steals someone's engagement ring without thinking?
Yeah, because I was trying to stop you from humiliating yourself.
Were you? Well, you failed.
- Really badly. - Yeah, I know, Danny.
But I didn't know you were gonna get on stage.
- Why would you do that? - I don't know!
You don't know. There's no reason.
No! Of course there was a reason! I just--
So what's the reason then?
Tell me the rea-- Lisa, tell me the reason.
- What's the reason? - Because I thought you deserved better!
'Cause I could see Chloe was using you.
And you didn't deserve that because I'd only just met you,
but I could already tell how kind and funny you were. And--
And because I liked you.
What do you mean you liked me?
- I'm sorry. I've gotta go, Danny. - No. No, don't--
Hi.
I wasn't sure when you'd be back.
I thought I should be here for when my parents drop Poppy off.
Yeah.
Where did you go?
Ended up running in a circle.
I'm really sorry. Just for everything.
I thought I should just say something.
And then, you know, once I've said it, it's out there.
And you can do whatever you like with it.
Okay.
Yeah.
I want you to know...
Look, there's a mirror involved.
A mirror? What do you mean?
When you look in the mirror, I want you to see me.
Okay.
No. I want you to feel like I can see you.
Right. Okay.
Even though I won't be in the room.
But sometimes I would be in the room.
Okay. Yeah.
No, sorry. Forget the mirror.
It wasn't even my idea.
Okay.
I've never found it easy to-- with words.
I know.
I'll always be your Veggie, Leese.
For as long as you want me to be.
I probably should get to bed.
Think I might have run a marathon by accident.
Is it pea and ham?
Minestrone?
Right.
What's in that then?
Oi!
where you're going! Bloody lunatic!
Sorry. Totally my fault. Have a good evening.
What are you doing in my garden?
I can't hear a word you're saying.
- Hi. - Hi.
Sorry. I seem to have set the cat spray thing to--
to jet stream or something.
Did you? I hadn't noticed.
So...
So.
So, Veggie's back then?
Yeah.
It doesn't mean that--
I actually just don't know what anything really means right now.
Yeah.
Why did you come?
I wanted to say...
whatever happens, I'll be here.
You came all the way here just to tell me that?
Well, I...
Yeah.
Okay.
Bye, Lisa.
Bye, Danny.
I actually wanna say something else.
Sorry. I wanna say something else.
Okay.
I wanna say...
I'll be your mirror, Lisa.
- But... - I see the real you. I do.
The warm, kind, funny, certifiably crazy person
that would do absolutely anything for anyone.
Like, steal someone's engagement ring
so they don't make the biggest mistake of their life.
When you need someone to remind you of how great that person is,
I want you to call me,
okay?
Okay.
- Do you have my number? - I actually don't know if I do anymore.
- Deleted it? - I think I did.
Fair enough. Take this down. 07-- Always the same.
Okay.
Same time, next time?
Same time, next time.