1
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[vibrant orchestral music]

2
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♪ Foodtopia ♪

3
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[wind blowing]

4
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One tooth each.

5
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Welcome to Julius' Spa.

6
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Would you like some cucumber face mist?

7
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That sounds lovely.

8
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-[spitting]
-Oh! [chuckles]

9
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Mm.

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[bubbling]

11
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Hey! Vote for Julius.

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[soothing music]

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Enjoy those massages.

14
00:00:55,376 --> 00:00:56,709
Hey, don't worry.

15
00:00:56,793 --> 00:01:00,043
We're going to help you
get those wrinkles out. Vote for Julius.

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-[Steak] All right, yeah.
-[grunting]

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-Ooh! Ow...
-[Steak] Ah.

18
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Come on, harder.

19
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If you want a tooth,
you need to tenderize me.

20
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Sorry. I've just been doing this all day.

21
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-My hands hurt.
-[groans]

22
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Nothing worse than when they talk to you.

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[soothing music continues]

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[retching]

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[music continues]

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[children laugh]

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Oh, hey, kiddos.

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Mom just has to sit down for a sec.

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-[Yolk-o] Oh...
-[timer ticks]

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You look beat, girl.

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I know life isn't always over easy,
but I'm fried.

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You look me in the whites
of my eyes and you listen.

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You're a good egg,
doing right by your whole carton.

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One day you'll earn enough teeth
to get us the fridge of our dreams!

35
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But you can't crack now.

36
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You've got to keep looking
on the sunny side.

37
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Oh, Yolk-o, you're right. I love you.

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[timer rings]

39
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Egg timer's up.

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Hate to be so runny, but I gotta scramble
to my other job before it gets poached.

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[voice over PA] Management has noticed far
too many coffee breaks being taken.

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As a result, all coffees are hereby
suspended without pay.

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No food has yet signed up to
operate the fork lift.

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Reminder, that it is not what
you think it is.

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Foods operating heavy machinery do so at
their own risk of peeling, puncturing...

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[whirring]

47
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[screams painfully]

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-[motor runs]
-[screaming continues]

49
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-Oh, god!
-It's stringing me alive!

50
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-[tense music]
-I've got you.

51
00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:08,126
[panting, screaming]

52
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You're cracked.

53
00:03:10,751 --> 00:03:13,751
Shit! Now I gotta find
a replacement for both of you.

54
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-You! You're in.
-No, please, Mr. Smokey Barbecue.

55
00:03:17,251 --> 00:03:19,084
I... Oh, I can still work.

56
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Sorry, dear, if I don't enforce the rules,
Julius will replace me too.

57
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[somber music]

58
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:40,459
[groaning painfully]

59
00:03:44,626 --> 00:03:46,459
You're home early, what's wrong?

60
00:03:46,543 --> 00:03:48,459
You got a itty bitty tummy ache?

61
00:03:48,543 --> 00:03:50,084
[groans]

62
00:03:51,168 --> 00:03:52,334
[exclaims]

63
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[yells]

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[screams]

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-Did you hear that? Eggetha, Yolk-o!
-Oh, no!

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00:04:00,668 --> 00:04:01,959
[exclaims]

67
00:04:03,334 --> 00:04:04,876
[yelling]

68
00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:06,584
[screaming]

69
00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:09,334
Whoa-oh-oh. Oh!

70
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:13,501
No! My whole family. They're dead!

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They're all dead! Whoa!

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[gentle piano music]

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[Viener Hotzdog]
As their frail bodies betrayed them,

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00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:27,584
they lay in a puddle of their own yolk,
shell, and viscera.

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00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:31,793
They would never know
the chilling embrace of refrigeration,

76
00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:35,125
only the cold grip of death itself.

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Okay, thank you Viener Hotzdog,

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00:04:40,543 --> 00:04:42,709
for yet another
of your incredibly depressing,

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00:04:42,793 --> 00:04:45,834
but undeniably compelling
real-life stories.

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Samuel, I would trek to the bilious depths
of the human stomach

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00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:54,834
if it meant capturing
the harsh realities of our existence.

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It brings me an immense, almost erotic joy
as well as unspeakable sadness.

83
00:05:01,293 --> 00:05:04,543
What a combo.
And now, onto our main story.

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00:05:04,626 --> 00:05:09,709
Yesterday, division between the foods
over who should lead Foodtopia

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erupted into a full-blown brouhaha
that I’m calling: The Leader Competition.

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We take you live to Main Street,
where Frank and Brenda are about to--

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Are you Sammy Bagel Junior?

88
00:05:22,375 --> 00:05:24,793
No, I'm John Pastrami Senior.

89
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Of course, I'm fucking Sammy Bagel Junior.

90
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-Okay, come on.
-You're coming with me.

91
00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:32,334
Hey, take it easy. What the fuck did I do?

92
00:05:32,418 --> 00:05:35,918
You beat the shit out of me
and stole my TV screens.

93
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Oh, right.

94
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:41,168
Hello, fellow foods.

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I look out in the crowd
and I see too many milks curdling,

96
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,793
too many lettuces wilting,

97
00:05:47,875 --> 00:05:50,293
too many frozen foods melting.

98
00:05:50,375 --> 00:05:53,543
And our “Share-zees” plan
will get all those foods

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into the fridges they so desperately need.

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[cheering and applause]

101
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Listen up, guys.

102
00:06:00,543 --> 00:06:03,543
As food, we have a responsibility
to help each other.

103
00:06:03,626 --> 00:06:06,376
But there are some foods,
like the Orange Julius,

104
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who care more about helping themselves.

105
00:06:08,876 --> 00:06:13,001
But, hey, fortunately, there's
way more of us than there are of them.

106
00:06:13,084 --> 00:06:17,918
And if we work together, ah,
there is nothing that can stop us.

107
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,250
[Kishka Hargitay]
We're putting a stop to this!

108
00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:22,918
-This rally is out of control.
-What?!

109
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,584
No, it isn’t. We’re just
getting our message across.

110
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Not anymore. We’re shutting you down.

111
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:28,625
What the hell?

112
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This isn't why
the task force was established.

113
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You did this, didn't you?

114
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Frank, just because you saw me
hand them teeth,

115
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and they did exactly what I said,
doesn't mean I control them.

116
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-Go wait over there?
-Yes, sir.

117
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Now, look, I'm a rich fruit.
I don't try to hide it.

118
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I got molars
on the soles of my shoes, see?

119
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Noice!

120
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Frank and Brenda
want to take my teeth away.

121
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But if you really think about it,
my teeth are your teeth.

122
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I use them to employ
almost everyone in town.

123
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Every day, I'm creating more jobs.

124
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And if I’m forced to do share-zees,
I’m gonna have to let a lot of you go...

125
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-[gasping]
-...and raise your rent,

126
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and jack up the price of cars.

127
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-[gasping]
-I don't want to do that.

128
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If anything,
I want to give you more teeth,

129
00:07:19,293 --> 00:07:22,125
along with the pride of earning them.

130
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-But they won’t let me.
-That's not true.

131
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Will you stop making up bad shit about us?

132
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If they're elected, prices will go up.

133
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-You will be fired.
-[gasping]

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-You will be homeless.
-[gasping]

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I guarantee it.

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[crowd boos]

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[Frank and Brenda grunting]

138
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:51,000
Shit! He took over our rally,
and then he rallied everyone against us!

139
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It's okay, Frank.

140
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Our record speaks for itself.

141
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We may have lost control
of this task force,

142
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but we still have
the integrity of the food court.

143
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Next up is the case
of Crispy Cinnamon Logs

144
00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:02,709
versus Samuel Bagel Junior.

145
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Judge Rutabaga Ginsburg presiding.

146
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Okay, everyone, please be seated.

147
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I can't help but be "seeded."

148
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[laughter]

149
00:08:12,418 --> 00:08:14,126
-[gavel squeaks]
-[Ginsburg] Order! Order!

150
00:08:14,209 --> 00:08:17,043
Oof! Come on, Sammy, take this seriously.

151
00:08:17,543 --> 00:08:19,125
Should we do something to help him?

152
00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:21,043
We can't play favorites with our friends.

153
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,418
The rules have to apply
the same to every food.

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00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:24,793
[crowd murmuring]

155
00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:26,625
-[gavel squeaks]
-Mr. Bagel,

156
00:08:26,709 --> 00:08:29,418
while your puns may be
a defense mechanism,

157
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:33,458
they do not amount to a legal defense,
not in my food court.

158
00:08:33,583 --> 00:08:36,418
Now, what's your actual defense?

159
00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:39,625
Okay, look, look,
I know that pummeling the cereal box

160
00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:42,375
and taking the stool was wrong, but...

161
00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:45,168
performing on these screens is all I have.

162
00:08:45,251 --> 00:08:47,083
Without them, I don't even wanna think

163
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about what would happen to me
without them.

164
00:08:50,168 --> 00:08:53,083
That's your defense, seriously?

165
00:08:53,793 --> 00:08:56,918
Okay, this is a pretty
open-and-shut case here.

166
00:08:57,001 --> 00:09:01,459
My ruling is the electronics store
legally belongs to...

167
00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:03,043
[Julius] Psst!

168
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,126
[teeth clink]

169
00:09:05,209 --> 00:09:07,543
[whispered conversation]

170
00:09:08,959 --> 00:09:09,834
Oh!

171
00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:12,334
Sammy Bagel Junior...

172
00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:14,834
-[crowd gasps]
-Case closed.

173
00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:16,084
[gavel squeaks]

174
00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:19,709
Teeth, teeth, teeth. Boy, I love teeth.

175
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,959
Julius did it again! He got to Ginsburg.
She was the best of us.

176
00:09:23,043 --> 00:09:25,959
This system is rotting faster
than a geriatric apple!

177
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,876
Not here, Frank, foods are watching us.
Just smile and wave.

178
00:09:29,959 --> 00:09:33,126
-You sure this is fresh?
-Oh, it's fresh iced tea.

179
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My inner casing is tingling
like a motherfucker right now.

180
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[chuckles] I respect your instincts.

181
00:09:38,083 --> 00:09:40,208
But that don't do shit for me right now.

182
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:42,543
I need cold, hard proof, dog.

183
00:09:42,626 --> 00:09:43,626
Check this out.

184
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:46,668
Before Burning Man,
I lopped off one of the humey's toes.

185
00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:49,333
This footprint also has four toes.

186
00:09:49,418 --> 00:09:51,418
So I guess the only question is...

187
00:09:51,918 --> 00:09:55,168
humeys usually have five toes, right?

188
00:09:55,626 --> 00:09:58,083
You're gonna want
to check this out, Barry.

189
00:09:59,126 --> 00:10:01,459
That's impossible.
This is what I tied the humey with.

190
00:10:01,543 --> 00:10:03,084
Guess not tight enough, huh?

191
00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,876
There’s no way he could have
gotten out of those by himself.

192
00:10:05,959 --> 00:10:09,376
-Oh, you saying he had help.
-I'm not saying he didn't.

193
00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:13,543
What food would even want to talk
to a humey, let alone rescue it?

194
00:10:13,626 --> 00:10:15,334
And what are they getting out of it?

195
00:10:15,418 --> 00:10:16,793
Whoa, whatever it is,

196
00:10:16,876 --> 00:10:19,751
it's got to be big enough
to deceive everyone around them.

197
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:22,334
Especially, those closest to them.

198
00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:25,959
This is spiraling out of control.

199
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,959
Julius is going to win this thing,
and it'll be like this forever.

200
00:10:29,043 --> 00:10:31,334
Just the rich ruling the poor.

201
00:10:31,418 --> 00:10:34,001
-What do we do?
-I don't know. Fuck! What the hell?

202
00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:35,958
Why are all our ideas getting corrupted?

203
00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:39,333
[Jack] Because they're all human ideas.
I can hear you, by the way.

204
00:10:39,418 --> 00:10:41,418
There's no door on the treehouse.

205
00:10:42,043 --> 00:10:45,626
You had crime, so you set up
a police force and a court system.

206
00:10:45,708 --> 00:10:49,543
And then they were both corrupted by
a politician who's running for president.

207
00:10:49,626 --> 00:10:51,376
-[both] What?!
-And your share-zees policy?

208
00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:55,208
Yeah, that’s just taxes.
Very controversial among humans.

209
00:10:55,293 --> 00:10:56,793
No wonder everyone turned on you.

210
00:10:56,876 --> 00:10:58,543
We just created a bunch of human shit?

211
00:10:58,626 --> 00:11:02,001
Well, specifically
Western American capitalist human shit.

212
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,793
But it means that I can be helpful!

213
00:11:03,876 --> 00:11:07,626
'Cause as it turns out,
food and humans are shockingly similar.

214
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:11,334
-[gasps] Fuck off! We're nothing like you.
-That's what a human would say.

215
00:11:11,418 --> 00:11:12,793
-That's not true.
-No, it is.

216
00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:15,709
That's what people said to me
every time I said I was like them.

217
00:11:15,793 --> 00:11:19,293
You know, that I was a screw up,
just a-a run-of-the-mill dumb butt.

218
00:11:19,376 --> 00:11:21,251
But I know stuff. Yeah.

219
00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:23,293
You don't have to
have written House of Cards

220
00:11:23,376 --> 00:11:25,501
to know that politics is all about money.

221
00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:29,251
You just have to have watched it,
and I got through two and a half seasons.

222
00:11:29,334 --> 00:11:31,043
But, uh, I mean, don't worry.

223
00:11:31,126 --> 00:11:34,751
I stopped watching, like, relatively soon
after the Spacey stuff came out.

224
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:38,208
What the fuck are you even talking about?
Look, we don't need your help.

225
00:11:38,293 --> 00:11:39,251
This is simple.

226
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:42,583
If we just get everyone who supports us
to chip in what they can spare,

227
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:45,168
even just one tooth, we'll be set.

228
00:11:45,251 --> 00:11:48,168
You think humans could come up with
something that smart, you fucking idiot?

229
00:11:48,251 --> 00:11:51,793
We did. It's called a "fundraiser."
And it only works if rich people show up.

230
00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:54,708
And your whole problem
is that your supporters aren't rich.

231
00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:58,418
I see about 20 good teeth in this guy's
fucking head. How about we take those?!

232
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:00,126
No, no, no! No.

233
00:12:00,209 --> 00:12:02,251
Look, you'll need way more than that.

234
00:12:02,334 --> 00:12:04,834
Why don't you just take them
from the richest food in town?

235
00:12:04,918 --> 00:12:06,293
What? We're obviously not gonna steal.

236
00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:08,834
That goes against
the exact rule that we created.

237
00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:11,126
Right. Honestly, plus,
it would be way too hard

238
00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:12,584
to keep them guarded in lunchboxes.

239
00:12:12,668 --> 00:12:14,293
Oh, well, when you say that,

240
00:12:14,376 --> 00:12:17,584
it instantly makes me think of
the Fast and the Furious franchise.

241
00:12:17,668 --> 00:12:18,584
What's that?

242
00:12:18,668 --> 00:12:22,209
One of the greatest achievements
in cinematic and human history.

243
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:24,376
And in the climax
of the fifth installment,

244
00:12:24,459 --> 00:12:27,459
they steal a safe by
attaching it to a car--

245
00:12:27,543 --> 00:12:31,126
No, absolutely not.
We are running for leaders of Foodtopia.

246
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,793
We need to lead by example.

247
00:12:32,876 --> 00:12:35,126
It's not a bad example
if nobody knows we did it.

248
00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:37,418
That is kind of the beauty of examples.

249
00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:38,918
Frank, we're not doing this.

250
00:12:39,001 --> 00:12:41,126
If we're gonna win,
it has to be the right way.

251
00:12:41,626 --> 00:12:43,876
Okay, the right way it is.

252
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,168
What the fuck just happened?

253
00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:51,458
Mazel tov on the big win.

254
00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:55,168
You know, I mean, I was so utterly guilty.

255
00:12:55,251 --> 00:12:58,458
I mean this, ya know,
this Judge Rutabaga Ginsburg,

256
00:12:58,543 --> 00:12:59,833
I mean, what a schnook.

257
00:12:59,918 --> 00:13:03,959
Can you believe
she ruled that I own these screens?

258
00:13:04,043 --> 00:13:06,793
Well, technically, I paid her off,
so they're my screens.

259
00:13:06,876 --> 00:13:09,251
But the good news is,
I want you to stay on them.

260
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,584
Oh, wait...

261
00:13:10,668 --> 00:13:13,918
-So I get to...
-Keep doing what you love.

262
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,251
[up-tempo jazz music]

263
00:13:17,334 --> 00:13:18,876
The Argument.

264
00:13:18,959 --> 00:13:23,459
Seriously, I... I don't know
how I'm ever gonna repay you.

265
00:13:23,543 --> 00:13:25,543
But consider this a down payment.

266
00:13:25,626 --> 00:13:27,918
[loud kissing]

267
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:31,418
Well, those are lovely,
but I have other ideas.

268
00:13:31,501 --> 00:13:33,543
♪ Just don't chew on us ♪

269
00:13:33,626 --> 00:13:37,043
♪ It breaks our backs and makes us die ♪

270
00:13:37,126 --> 00:13:39,293
Listen to this guy. Isn't he great?

271
00:13:39,376 --> 00:13:43,543
Fun fact, he was rescued from the bottom
of a dead humey grandma's purse.

272
00:13:43,626 --> 00:13:46,543
Now, look at him.
Up there, just livin' his life.

273
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,876
Yeah. Have we made any teeth?

274
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:51,833
So far, just enough to cover
Bill Werther's performance fee.

275
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,333
We haven't even started the auction yet.

276
00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:58,001
All right, the first and only item
up for bid is an original Candy Warhol.

277
00:13:58,083 --> 00:14:00,584
The success of this event
is all riding on this, folks.

278
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:02,459
[inhales] Start the bidding at one tooth.

279
00:14:02,543 --> 00:14:05,293
Do I have one tooth? Anybody?
Do I have one tooth here? There?

280
00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:08,459
I see some Butter in the back.
Come on, Butter.

281
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:11,959
Oh, I can't believe it's not butter.
Next! You, Parsnip, in the front row.

282
00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:13,376
Did I hear a crinkle of Chips?

283
00:14:13,459 --> 00:14:15,876
-A hand moving up?
-[Chips] No, just scratching my ass.

284
00:14:15,959 --> 00:14:19,501
Anyone? Anything? How about Cinnamon?
You ready to spice things up? You are not.

285
00:14:19,584 --> 00:14:22,126
And Candy Warhol looks
appropriately devastated.

286
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:24,793
This is going bad, this is going real bad.
Going once, twice.

287
00:14:24,876 --> 00:14:26,043
This is not gone.

288
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:28,501
And the painting
goes to no one for nothing!

289
00:14:29,709 --> 00:14:32,918
Well, it's 11 more teeth
than we started with.

290
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:36,376
This amount would
almost certainly fill a glass half full.

291
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:37,918
Yeah, a small glass.

292
00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:42,418
I mean, Julius, is paying all these foods
to hand out stickers for him.

293
00:14:42,501 --> 00:14:44,126
Vote for Julius. He's orange.

294
00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:46,333
How are we supposed to compete with that?

295
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:47,833
Frank, I have an idea.

296
00:14:47,918 --> 00:14:50,208
Let's go door to door.
Get our message out that way.

297
00:14:50,293 --> 00:14:52,376
Okay. If we split up,
we'll reach more doors.

298
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,333
Oh, my God. You're right.
We could reach...

299
00:14:54,418 --> 00:14:56,918
[muttering, then gasps]

300
00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:58,626
Twice as many doors!

301
00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:06,209
[somber music]

302
00:15:07,626 --> 00:15:12,626
[Julius] A recent study finds
ten out of ten foods hate being alive.

303
00:15:13,168 --> 00:15:16,501
This is Frank and Brenda’s Foodtopia.

304
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,626
They couldn’t protect you from rain.

305
00:15:20,168 --> 00:15:22,168
They couldn’t protect you from bird.

306
00:15:22,751 --> 00:15:26,168
And now, they can't
protect you from themselves.

307
00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:28,459
"Share-zees?" What's that even mean?

308
00:15:28,543 --> 00:15:30,168
How would it be enforced?

309
00:15:30,251 --> 00:15:34,251
They want to take
your hard-earned teeth away.

310
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,626
But I don't want to take your teeth away.

311
00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:41,333
I want to give you teeth by hiring you
in one of my many thriving businesses.

312
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:42,876
But don't just take it from me.

313
00:15:42,958 --> 00:15:45,668
Hi, you probably know me
as a hometown celebrity

314
00:15:45,751 --> 00:15:47,793
and a globally-renowned triple threat.

315
00:15:47,876 --> 00:15:51,793
But it was Julius who gave me
a platform and this portable microphone.

316
00:15:51,876 --> 00:15:55,333
When was the last time
Frank and Brenda gave me anything at all?

317
00:15:55,418 --> 00:15:56,918
Or you, for that matter?

318
00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:59,583
I'm Sammy Bagel Junior
and I endorse this orange.

319
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:02,418
Paid for by the Foundation of Foods
for Julius, owned and operated by Julius.

320
00:16:02,501 --> 00:16:05,126
[patriotic music]

321
00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:07,543
-Mm, mm...
-[Frank] What the fuck, Sammy?

322
00:16:07,626 --> 00:16:09,043
How could you do this to us?

323
00:16:09,126 --> 00:16:10,626
I'm sorry, Frank.

324
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:12,168
It's a shmear campaign.

325
00:16:12,251 --> 00:16:13,251
You've been shmeared.

326
00:16:13,334 --> 00:16:15,126
I didn't have any choice.

327
00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:19,334
Julius told me the only way I could stay
on his screens is if I did the ad.

328
00:16:19,418 --> 00:16:22,334
What you just described is a choice.

329
00:16:22,418 --> 00:16:24,626
That's a choice.
Take this shit down.

330
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,543
That's not Sammy's decision to make.
But this is.

331
00:16:27,626 --> 00:16:29,668
Pick a car. Any car.

332
00:16:29,751 --> 00:16:32,458
-[Sammy] Cool cars.
-And if Frank's making you feel bad,

333
00:16:32,543 --> 00:16:35,876
here's some food
literally lined up to be your friend.

334
00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:38,126
Mm... Hot friends.

335
00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:42,458
You see, Frank. He keeps buttering me up
and giving me everything I want.

336
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,668
I'm powerless to stop it.

337
00:16:44,751 --> 00:16:47,293
I'll take the little red Corvette
and the Steel Cut Oats.

338
00:16:47,376 --> 00:16:48,543
Excellent choice.

339
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:52,208
-[engine starts]
-Hit it, buddy.

340
00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:56,208
I call it "supply and command".

341
00:16:56,293 --> 00:17:00,001
I supply food with teeth and then
command them to do whatever I want.

342
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:03,334
Don't be mad at me, Frank.
Be mad that you didn't think of it first.

343
00:17:04,376 --> 00:17:05,793
[laughs wickedly]

344
00:17:05,876 --> 00:17:07,793
[ominous music]

345
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:12,001
How the fuck are we supposed
to compete with this guy?

346
00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:14,876
[intense music]

347
00:17:21,543 --> 00:17:23,458
[suspenseful music]

348
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:43,584
[dramatic music]

349
00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:53,001
[Barry quietly]
Where the hell'd you go, Frank?

350
00:17:53,084 --> 00:17:55,043
[tense music]

351
00:17:56,501 --> 00:17:57,834
Aah!

352
00:17:57,918 --> 00:17:59,251
Oh, hey, Frank.

353
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,501
All right.
I brought you some finger foods.

354
00:18:03,793 --> 00:18:07,668
Now teach me how to be
both fast and furious.

355
00:18:08,876 --> 00:18:12,501
So, I'm hooking up
with this smokin' hot peach,

356
00:18:12,584 --> 00:18:14,918
and I reach down and guess what?

357
00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:16,668
Bro, no fuzz.

358
00:18:16,751 --> 00:18:19,209
What makes you think
I would enjoy that story?

359
00:18:22,751 --> 00:18:23,793
[engine revving]

360
00:18:23,876 --> 00:18:25,959
-Hey!
-Is that a potato?

361
00:18:26,043 --> 00:18:28,293
Time to peel out, motherfuckers!

362
00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:30,209
Yep, that's a potato, all right.

363
00:18:31,876 --> 00:18:33,876
-[engine revs]
-[tires screech]

364
00:18:40,501 --> 00:18:41,959
Get him!

365
00:18:42,043 --> 00:18:44,459
[thrilling music]

366
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:46,209
-[tires screeching]
-[siren blaring]

367
00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:53,334
[grunting]

368
00:18:54,293 --> 00:18:57,376
Ooh, this thing doesn’t handle good.
This is not a good car.

369
00:18:58,043 --> 00:18:59,459
Oh, shit!

370
00:18:59,543 --> 00:19:02,209
Frank, why did you create
a whole fucking police force?

371
00:19:05,293 --> 00:19:07,751
All units. We have
a tooth heist in progress.

372
00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:09,501
Need backup.

373
00:19:09,584 --> 00:19:11,001
Aw, this damn thing is fake.

374
00:19:15,709 --> 00:19:17,126
Oh, shit! Oh, no!

375
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:25,376
Fuck yeah!

376
00:19:30,126 --> 00:19:32,834
I'm going door to door
asking for contributions to help.

377
00:19:32,918 --> 00:19:35,584
Sorry, you caught me in the middle
of having sex with my wife.

378
00:19:35,668 --> 00:19:36,834
[turkey gobbles]

379
00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:39,501
[tires screeching]

380
00:19:41,584 --> 00:19:43,793
[suspenseful music]

381
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:49,334
I know you're up to something, Frank.
Where are you hiding?

382
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,293
[distant sirens]

383
00:19:56,293 --> 00:19:57,376
[gasps]

384
00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:01,126
[thrilling music resumes]

385
00:20:02,543 --> 00:20:04,793
-[sirens blaring]
-Back off pigs!

386
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:07,834
[Frank] Oh, no! Oh, shit!

387
00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:11,334
I'm so dry.

388
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,001
You don't want to end up like me.

389
00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:16,793
-Stay out of the sun.
-Sure thing grandma.

390
00:20:16,876 --> 00:20:18,668
-[tires screeching]
-[yelling]

391
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,918
-[screams]
-Oh, fuck!

392
00:20:24,251 --> 00:20:25,459
Oh, great!

393
00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,751
Yes! I did it!

394
00:20:37,209 --> 00:20:38,293
[grunts]

395
00:20:38,376 --> 00:20:41,084
-[tires screeching]
-[horn honks]

396
00:20:43,501 --> 00:20:44,584
Oh, no!

397
00:20:46,626 --> 00:20:48,251
Whoa. Whoa, Barry.

398
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:52,293
[grunting]

399
00:20:57,209 --> 00:20:58,293
What do I do?

400
00:21:00,543 --> 00:21:03,501
[grunting]

401
00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:07,584
[in bad Irish accent] Fuck off, sausage.
But be very careful!

402
00:21:11,459 --> 00:21:13,751
[normal voice]
I’m sorry! Oh, shit-shit-shit!

403
00:21:13,834 --> 00:21:15,376
[Barry screams]

404
00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:17,584
Oh, no, Barry!

405
00:21:18,293 --> 00:21:21,543
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Please be okay.
Oh, please be okay.

406
00:21:21,626 --> 00:21:23,834
-[dramatic music]
-[gasping]

407
00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:30,418
[Frank in Irish accent] I'm a potato!

408
00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:37,543
-[sighs heavily]
-[both] Surprise!

409
00:21:38,084 --> 00:21:40,376
[gasps] Oh, my God. It was you?

410
00:21:40,459 --> 00:21:45,251
It was so exciting, Brenda.
First I was fast, and then I was furious.

411
00:21:45,334 --> 00:21:50,709
And then, for one brief, glorious moment,
I was both fast and furious.

412
00:21:50,793 --> 00:21:52,584
But we agreed not to do that.

413
00:21:52,668 --> 00:21:55,209
Well, yeah, but we tried it your way,
and it didn't work.

414
00:21:55,293 --> 00:21:58,668
And now, we're fucking set.
We can finally compete.

415
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,376
We can pay for help.

416
00:22:00,459 --> 00:22:03,709
We can get Girl Scout cookies
to go door to door and campaign for us.

417
00:22:03,793 --> 00:22:05,293
[gasps] We can get SPAM.

418
00:22:05,376 --> 00:22:07,751
SPAM is annoying,
but SPAM is so effective.

419
00:22:07,834 --> 00:22:09,793
Frank, I cannot believe you would do this.

420
00:22:09,876 --> 00:22:11,376
You know, the humeys have a saying:

421
00:22:11,459 --> 00:22:13,584
"Sometimes you gotta
break a few eggs to make an omelet."

422
00:22:14,043 --> 00:22:17,709
-[gasps] Oh, that's murder.
-[sputters] No, it's a metaphor.

423
00:22:17,793 --> 00:22:20,626
The omelet's a perfect society
and the broken eggs

424
00:22:20,709 --> 00:22:23,543
are some of the unsavory things
that you got to do to make it.

425
00:22:23,626 --> 00:22:27,334
Exactly. And, unfortunately,
one of the broken eggs in this case

426
00:22:27,418 --> 00:22:30,668
is that Barry almost caught me,
but he didn't.

427
00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:33,126
Thanks to my kick-ass potato disguise.

428
00:22:33,209 --> 00:22:36,751
-You did Potato Head?
-For ten minutes. Look what came of it.

429
00:22:36,834 --> 00:22:39,334
This whole thing has become about
who has the most teeth.

430
00:22:39,418 --> 00:22:41,293
Yeah, and now it might be us.

431
00:22:41,376 --> 00:22:42,418
What-what!

432
00:22:42,501 --> 00:22:47,001
No! I'm talking about our whole society.
This isn't the way it was supposed to be.

433
00:22:47,084 --> 00:22:48,834
Not much we can do about that now.

434
00:22:48,918 --> 00:22:52,418
Unless... we abolish teeth.

435
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:55,584
And make that our new platform.
Yeah, a do-over.

436
00:22:55,668 --> 00:22:57,376
No rich foods or poor foods.

437
00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:58,959
[Jack chuckles]

438
00:22:59,043 --> 00:23:01,001
Fuck you laughing at, big man?

439
00:23:01,084 --> 00:23:02,709
I'm-I'm sorry.

440
00:23:02,793 --> 00:23:04,751
It's just that would never, ever work.

441
00:23:04,834 --> 00:23:08,626
Like, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever work.

442
00:23:09,251 --> 00:23:10,668
-Never.
-He's right, Brenda.

443
00:23:10,751 --> 00:23:12,251
Wait, I'm sorry. He's right?

444
00:23:12,334 --> 00:23:14,751
You're siding with a humey over me?

445
00:23:14,834 --> 00:23:17,709
Brenda, you need to stop acting
like he's the bad guy.

446
00:23:17,793 --> 00:23:20,126
This humey, he's been
nothing but good for us.

447
00:23:20,209 --> 00:23:23,834
Not only do his ideas work,
he seems to legitimately care.

448
00:23:23,918 --> 00:23:26,418
I do. I care. I care so much.

449
00:23:26,501 --> 00:23:28,376
I'm behind you 100%.

450
00:23:28,459 --> 00:23:29,751
Look at him.

451
00:23:29,834 --> 00:23:31,668
He stopped eating food.

452
00:23:31,751 --> 00:23:35,501
There is one thing I know we have
that Julius doesn't, and that's him.

453
00:23:35,584 --> 00:23:38,126
If we're going to win this election
and fix Foodtopia,

454
00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:40,209
we need to trust his instincts.

455
00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:41,293
[whimpers]

456
00:23:41,376 --> 00:23:43,626
[ominous music]

457
00:23:44,918 --> 00:23:46,251
Barry was right.

458
00:23:46,334 --> 00:23:48,168
He said this was a slippery slope,

459
00:23:48,251 --> 00:23:50,918
and you are acting
slipperier than escargot.

460
00:23:51,001 --> 00:23:55,001
If you think I am just going to stand here
while you steal and cheat,

461
00:23:55,084 --> 00:23:58,918
then you and your little humey
can es-car-go fuck yourselves.

462
00:23:59,001 --> 00:24:00,334
Escargot is slugs, right?

463
00:24:00,418 --> 00:24:02,168
Don't act so high and mighty. Okay?

464
00:24:02,251 --> 00:24:05,668
-You helped me steal this guy, remember?
-Yeah, and I regret it.

465
00:24:05,751 --> 00:24:07,918
This has gone far enough, Frank.

466
00:24:08,001 --> 00:24:08,959
Step aside.

467
00:24:09,043 --> 00:24:12,168
I'm ending this motherfucker,
breaking the curse he has over you.

468
00:24:12,251 --> 00:24:13,793
No! No, Brenda, we need him!

469
00:24:13,876 --> 00:24:16,959
You need him because you don't believe
you can do this on your own.

470
00:24:17,043 --> 00:24:19,043
This is all about you, Frank.

471
00:24:19,126 --> 00:24:21,084
Your insecurities, your shortcomings...

472
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,334
No, it's about your insecurities
and shortcomings

473
00:24:23,418 --> 00:24:25,626
and everybody else's insecurities,
not mine.

474
00:24:26,376 --> 00:24:29,501
All right. Look, I'm gonna
make this real easy, Frank.

475
00:24:29,584 --> 00:24:32,834
Choose.
Either let me kill this motherfucker,

476
00:24:32,918 --> 00:24:36,126
or I'm gone, like a frickin' prawn.

477
00:24:36,209 --> 00:24:38,959
[somber music]

478
00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:41,418
I'm sorry.

479
00:24:46,043 --> 00:24:46,959
We need him.

480
00:24:50,293 --> 00:24:51,418
Then have him.

481
00:24:54,209 --> 00:24:56,584
[dramatic music]

482
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,626
Buns. Am I right?

483
00:25:07,334 --> 00:25:09,334
[dramatic music]