1 00:00:01,770 --> 00:00:03,373 Man, sure is nice up here. 2 00:00:03,373 --> 00:00:04,908 Let me tell you my man, any day 3 00:00:04,909 --> 00:00:06,580 at thirty thousand feet is a good one. 4 00:00:07,816 --> 00:00:09,786 Looks like we're getting some light chop. 5 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,559 Descending to twenty-eight to get out of it. 6 00:00:13,661 --> 00:00:14,495 You know what Hank? 7 00:00:14,763 --> 00:00:16,567 Why don't we just take this puppy in for a landing? 8 00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:18,003 Aye aye, Captain. 9 00:00:18,003 --> 00:00:18,871 But first, 10 00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:20,708 we're doing a barrel roll. 11 00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:21,877 You sure, Mark? 12 00:00:21,877 --> 00:00:23,246 You're damn right I'm sure. 13 00:00:23,246 --> 00:00:24,382 It's my signature move, okay? 14 00:00:24,382 --> 00:00:27,021 Every great pilot has a signature move. 15 00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:28,257 Sully Sullenberger, 16 00:00:28,257 --> 00:00:29,392 he's a river lander. 17 00:00:29,392 --> 00:00:31,563 Maverick, he buzzes towers. 18 00:00:31,563 --> 00:00:32,866 And Mark Hoagies, 19 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,402 he does a barrel roll. 20 00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:35,872 Here we go baby! 21 00:00:35,872 --> 00:00:37,107 Doing a barrel roll, 22 00:00:37,107 --> 00:00:38,744 let's gooooo! 23 00:00:38,744 --> 00:00:39,847 Beautiful Mark. 24 00:00:39,847 --> 00:00:40,749 Hell Yeah! 25 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,585 Great balls of fire baby! 26 00:00:42,719 --> 00:00:43,419 Damnit, Mark-- 27 00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:44,957 I've been looking all over for you! 28 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,159 Tam, not now. Not now! 29 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:47,261 Oh crap. Oh crap, 30 00:00:47,261 --> 00:00:49,198 no no no no no no no no no. 31 00:00:52,872 --> 00:00:54,308 You almost had it that time. 32 00:00:54,543 --> 00:00:56,547 Dammit, Tam-- ugh I was in the zone. 33 00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:58,183 What the hell are you doing, Mark? 34 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,187 We gotta be out the door in thirty minutes 35 00:01:00,187 --> 00:01:02,291 and you're playing fricken' video games! Come on. 36 00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:04,295 This is not a video game, Tam, 37 00:01:04,295 --> 00:01:06,264 this is a flight simulator. 38 00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:08,136 Okay, this is a serious training tool. 39 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,140 Okay well it looks to me like a guy 40 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:11,677 messing around instead of packing. 41 00:01:11,677 --> 00:01:13,446 I don't even understand why we gotta go to this 42 00:01:13,446 --> 00:01:15,150 stupid funeral in the first place, okay? 43 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:15,952 You barely know the guy. 44 00:01:16,052 --> 00:01:18,457 Yeah Mark, that's because he's your uncle. 45 00:01:18,457 --> 00:01:20,594 Can't miss your uncle's funeral, Mark. 46 00:01:20,594 --> 00:01:22,799 You know he's your uncle too, Hank. 47 00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:23,768 Oh no, 48 00:01:23,902 --> 00:01:25,103 I better go pack. 49 00:01:26,807 --> 00:01:29,443 Well, I used to work at a hot dog factory. 50 00:01:29,444 --> 00:01:31,449 Until them robots came along. 51 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,220 And now there is no job for me 52 00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:35,756 But I get 3,000 bucks a month 53 00:01:35,757 --> 00:01:39,967 Thanks to UBI 54 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:43,906 Now we're Universal Basic Guys. 55 00:01:43,907 --> 00:01:45,743 It may not sound like much. 56 00:01:45,744 --> 00:01:48,916 But we're still gonna try 57 00:01:48,917 --> 00:01:53,794 We're just Universal Basic Guys 58 00:01:59,706 --> 00:02:01,208 Miss, you have to take your shoes off. 59 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,178 Oh come on. They're flip-flops. 60 00:02:03,179 --> 00:02:04,481 You can see my feet. 61 00:02:04,481 --> 00:02:07,087 Geez, lady just take your fricken shoes off. 62 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:09,392 Okay, Passenger 57, will you relax? 63 00:02:09,492 --> 00:02:10,528 Okay, we're not even on the plane yet 64 00:02:10,528 --> 00:02:11,630 and you're about to make a scene. 65 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,366 I just don't understand why people 66 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:14,936 gotta be so rude at the airport. 67 00:02:14,936 --> 00:02:16,472 Well with all due respect Tam, 68 00:02:16,472 --> 00:02:18,343 you're the one who was on the No Fly List. 69 00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:21,315 Yeah because I actually stand up to these jerks. 70 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,821 Sorry I have a strong sense of airport justice. 71 00:02:23,821 --> 00:02:25,324 You broke someone's arm, Tam. 72 00:02:25,324 --> 00:02:27,361 I didn't break his arm. I broke his pinky. 73 00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:28,865 And the middle seat gets the armrest. 74 00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:30,000 Everybody knows that! 75 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,670 Sigh... Alright alright. 76 00:02:31,804 --> 00:02:34,308 I promise you I'm not gonna make a scene today. 77 00:02:34,843 --> 00:02:36,012 Oh crap! We gotta go. 78 00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:37,013 The flight's boarding. 79 00:02:37,013 --> 00:02:37,882 Where's Hank? 80 00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:40,621 Heyo Hank, what's the hold up? 81 00:02:40,621 --> 00:02:41,255 I don't know. 82 00:02:41,456 --> 00:02:43,192 Okay. Well we'll see you at the gate. 83 00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:45,130 Uh... hey boss? 84 00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:47,300 You might want to take a look at this. 85 00:02:49,706 --> 00:02:50,775 Oh look at this. 86 00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:53,413 It is so great to get out of Westchester for the weekend 87 00:02:53,413 --> 00:02:55,985 and show the kids a normal town with, like, 88 00:02:55,985 --> 00:02:58,156 chain restaurants and stuff. 89 00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:01,029 This area actually has a ton of great spots. 90 00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:02,532 You know I specifically chose this place 91 00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:05,270 for their table-side guacamole presentation. 92 00:03:05,538 --> 00:03:07,041 Thought the kids would get a kick out of it. 93 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,276 Hey Aiden and Ava, look-- 94 00:03:08,276 --> 00:03:10,080 he's making our guacamole 95 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,421 according to the ancient Mexican customs of the Nahuatl people. 96 00:03:14,421 --> 00:03:15,254 Isn't that right? 97 00:03:15,255 --> 00:03:16,159 I don't know. 98 00:03:16,159 --> 00:03:16,927 Sure. 99 00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:22,772 Ugh, your sister's raising some real screenagers over there. 100 00:03:22,772 --> 00:03:23,440 What's that David? 101 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,545 Oh I was just saying that... 102 00:03:25,812 --> 00:03:29,318 maybe Aiden and Ava could put their phones down for a bit. 103 00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:31,156 You know? Experience Glantontown? 104 00:03:31,156 --> 00:03:31,991 Oh really? 105 00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:34,763 You know, I can't wait for you to have kids some day. 106 00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:35,765 You and me both... 107 00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:36,766 Okay, David. 108 00:03:36,766 --> 00:03:37,535 Here's an idea: 109 00:03:37,935 --> 00:03:39,706 how about you take your niece and nephew out for a day 110 00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:41,676 with no screens and we'll see how you do. 111 00:03:41,676 --> 00:03:43,446 Then we can talk about having kids. 112 00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:45,049 I love that idea. 113 00:03:45,049 --> 00:03:46,318 Okay. Yeah. That sounds great. 114 00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:47,788 And if they have a good time, 115 00:03:47,788 --> 00:03:48,924 which they will, 116 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,094 maybe you'll consider... 117 00:03:50,227 --> 00:03:51,628 “pulling the goalie? ” 118 00:03:51,629 --> 00:03:52,331 The what? 119 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:53,534 The, uh... 120 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,601 IUD? 121 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:55,403 Yeah sure. 122 00:03:55,538 --> 00:03:57,809 As long as you stop calling that stuff 123 00:03:57,809 --> 00:03:58,944 “Gwah-Kah-Moh-Lay. ” 124 00:03:59,044 --> 00:04:00,614 Hey what do you think, guys? 125 00:04:00,614 --> 00:04:03,053 Excited for your big day with Uncle David? 126 00:04:03,053 --> 00:04:03,954 No. 127 00:04:04,689 --> 00:04:05,490 Come on. 128 00:04:05,825 --> 00:04:07,694 Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentleman. 129 00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:09,831 We can't taxi until everyone is seated 130 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,169 with their seatbelts fastened-Ma'am, 131 00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:12,505 can I check that for you? 132 00:04:12,505 --> 00:04:14,610 How about you check your attitude? 133 00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:16,379 Mark, you see this woman? 134 00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:18,917 First with the flip-flops and now this. 135 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:19,619 Unbelievable. 136 00:04:19,786 --> 00:04:21,957 Tam, remember what Dr. Lorefice said: 137 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,392 when you feel the rage, 138 00:04:23,392 --> 00:04:26,465 you take a deep breath and you distract yourself, okay? 139 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:27,902 Ooooh look there, 140 00:04:27,902 --> 00:04:30,240 they got the new Magic Mike, your favorite. 141 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,845 Oh I do love my Channing Taters. 142 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:37,989 Are you kiddin' me? 143 00:04:38,222 --> 00:04:38,657 What? 144 00:04:38,791 --> 00:04:39,994 You can't bring peanuts 145 00:04:39,994 --> 00:04:40,862 on a flight no more! 146 00:04:41,229 --> 00:04:43,501 Oh come on. They had peanuts on flights for like 200 years 147 00:04:43,501 --> 00:04:44,603 and nobody got sick 148 00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:47,241 and now all of a sudden every kid's allergic to them? 149 00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:48,243 Ridiculous. 150 00:04:48,243 --> 00:04:50,714 They are “the ” snack of the sky! 151 00:04:51,617 --> 00:04:52,552 Sigh! 152 00:04:53,019 --> 00:04:55,758 You want me to teach animals how to strip? 153 00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,760 They're already naked, Mike. 154 00:04:57,761 --> 00:05:00,501 You just have to teach them how to dance. 155 00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:04,642 Sir, I have to ask you a couple of questions. 156 00:05:04,642 --> 00:05:06,680 Did you pack this bag yourself? 157 00:05:06,813 --> 00:05:07,481 Yeah. 158 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,721 Did you at any time leave your bag unattended? 159 00:05:11,022 --> 00:05:11,823 Uh... no. 160 00:05:12,124 --> 00:05:15,364 And did you accept anything from another passenger? 161 00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:16,734 Uh... 162 00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:17,401 no. 163 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,038 Alright, buddy, then tell me 164 00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:20,406 what's goin' on here. 165 00:05:20,406 --> 00:05:23,379 What are you doing with 100 pounds of hotdogs? 166 00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:25,150 You smuggling this meat? 167 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,020 No, I just like hot dogs. 168 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,222 Yeah, you and me both buddy, 169 00:05:28,222 --> 00:05:31,462 but I never thought to pack 800 of them in a suitcase. 170 00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:33,333 I don't know what the hell you're up to, 171 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,299 but whatever it is, 172 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,436 it ain't kosher. 173 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,105 No, they actually are kosher. 174 00:05:37,106 --> 00:05:39,746 Oh we got a comedian over here! 175 00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:45,789 Well it's not illegal to bring meat on a plane. 176 00:05:45,790 --> 00:05:47,562 I mean maybe he's just a nut job. 177 00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:49,198 You know who else was crazy? 178 00:05:49,398 --> 00:05:50,433 Ted Kaczynski. 179 00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:51,668 So this guy's what, 180 00:05:51,669 --> 00:05:52,872 the “Hot Dog Bomber? ” 181 00:05:52,872 --> 00:05:54,843 Hot dogs are packed with nitrates. 182 00:05:54,843 --> 00:05:56,580 You know what else was packed with nitrates? 183 00:05:56,881 --> 00:06:00,086 The Port of Beirut right before it exploded. 184 00:06:00,821 --> 00:06:02,390 Get me Quantico. 185 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,002 Top shelf flight so far, Captain. 186 00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:08,804 Well thank you. 187 00:06:08,804 --> 00:06:09,471 Appreciate that. 188 00:06:09,471 --> 00:06:11,475 Yeah, real smooth take off. 189 00:06:11,475 --> 00:06:13,914 Nice rotation. Excellent job. 190 00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:14,616 Well thanks. 191 00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:15,785 You a pilot yourself? 192 00:06:15,785 --> 00:06:16,653 I dabble. 193 00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:17,153 Oh yeah? 194 00:06:17,153 --> 00:06:18,022 What do you fly? 195 00:06:18,022 --> 00:06:19,358 Oh man, pfft. 196 00:06:19,358 --> 00:06:20,928 I mean I've flown commercial, 197 00:06:20,928 --> 00:06:23,330 C-130s, F-14s, 198 00:06:23,331 --> 00:06:26,239 DHC-4 Caribous... I mean if it's in the sky, 199 00:06:26,239 --> 00:06:27,374 I've flown it. You know what I mean? 200 00:06:27,374 --> 00:06:28,476 Well, I'll be damned! 201 00:06:28,476 --> 00:06:30,380 That is some serious equipment. 202 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,984 You wanna pop into the cockpit, 203 00:06:31,984 --> 00:06:32,719 talk a little shop? 204 00:06:32,819 --> 00:06:34,689 Oh hell yeah, I-- that'd be great. 205 00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:38,129 Yeah, we're not supposed to do this but, 206 00:06:38,129 --> 00:06:39,231 ah what the heck. 207 00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:41,836 9/11 was a long time ago, you know? 208 00:06:45,645 --> 00:06:47,848 Oh, now you take them off. 209 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:50,989 Um... Ma'am? 210 00:06:50,989 --> 00:06:51,990 Would you mind just, like, 211 00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,428 using headphones or turning the sound off? 212 00:06:54,963 --> 00:06:56,232 It's a free country. 213 00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:58,504 “Candy Smash ”. 214 00:06:58,504 --> 00:06:59,640 Dear God... 215 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,544 please give me the strength not to beat 216 00:07:01,544 --> 00:07:03,612 the living daylights out of this woman. 217 00:07:03,613 --> 00:07:05,651 Yeah just last week I was flying a modified. 218 00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:07,788 XF-85 Goblin over the Sahara. 219 00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:09,659 Got that puppy to sonic boom. 220 00:07:09,659 --> 00:07:11,127 Let me tell you, the Camels, they were friggin 221 00:07:11,128 --> 00:07:12,498 crappin' themselves. 222 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,536 This guy knows what I'm talking about! 223 00:07:14,536 --> 00:07:15,470 Oh my god. 224 00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:16,940 And you think that's something, 225 00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:19,946 I once took a Warthog over the Ho Chi Minh Trail. 226 00:07:19,946 --> 00:07:22,150 I was like... deh-deh-deh-deh-deh-deh. 227 00:07:23,019 --> 00:07:23,721 Oh yeah? 228 00:07:24,255 --> 00:07:26,559 I flew A-10s in Desert Storm. 229 00:07:26,559 --> 00:07:28,531 I didn't realize they were used in. 230 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,133 Aren't you a little young for Vietnam? 231 00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:31,804 Oh yeah, but I love history. 232 00:07:31,804 --> 00:07:33,707 Let me tell you, I was doing a World War Two 233 00:07:33,707 --> 00:07:35,443 bombing mission and I was supposed to take out 234 00:07:35,443 --> 00:07:36,279 some oil refinery, 235 00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:37,716 but get this okay-- 236 00:07:37,716 --> 00:07:39,952 I took the B-2 over Berlin 237 00:07:39,952 --> 00:07:42,458 and dropped the full payload on the f ürherbunker man. 238 00:07:42,458 --> 00:07:44,027 Wiped Germany off the friggin map. 239 00:07:44,027 --> 00:07:44,696 Oh yeah? 240 00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:47,133 You flew a stealth bomber in World War Two? 241 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,508 Yeah looks like you got a nasty cumulonimbus over there. 242 00:07:50,508 --> 00:07:52,511 You might wanna yaw to the left a bit. 243 00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:54,882 Captain, you gonna yaw, or... 244 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:58,189 Oh crap, yo this guy's havin' a heart attack. 245 00:07:58,323 --> 00:08:00,059 Wait, are you eating peanuts? 246 00:08:00,059 --> 00:08:00,861 Oh you know it! 247 00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:02,565 Snack of the skies, baby! Right? 248 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,734 He's allergic to peanuts! 249 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,738 Get the EpiPen outta the first aid kit! 250 00:08:07,074 --> 00:08:07,775 Got it! 251 00:08:08,176 --> 00:08:09,512 Here you go dude. 252 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,183 Not me, you idiot! 253 00:08:12,183 --> 00:08:13,621 Oh. Uh... Well, 254 00:08:13,621 --> 00:08:14,421 you switched seats, okay. 255 00:08:14,589 --> 00:08:15,958 You can't be doing that when you're wearing 256 00:08:15,958 --> 00:08:16,960 the same uniform. 257 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,538 Okay, now that's a heart attack. 258 00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:25,444 “Okay. ” 259 00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:27,214 “All this person has to do is 260 00:08:27,214 --> 00:08:28,718 live in a tree for one year! 261 00:08:28,718 --> 00:08:30,220 What they don't know is... 262 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:32,157 I'm gonna set the tree on fire ” 263 00:08:32,157 --> 00:08:34,462 Okay guys, I think it's time to put our phones away. 264 00:08:34,462 --> 00:08:37,567 Perhaps today we experience some things IRL? 265 00:08:37,568 --> 00:08:39,338 You're going to regret this Uncle David. 266 00:08:39,338 --> 00:08:40,139 No, 267 00:08:40,373 --> 00:08:42,612 you're gonna regret wasting your entire youth 268 00:08:42,612 --> 00:08:45,050 staring at a little screen instead of being present. 269 00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:47,989 I know you're just doing this so Aunt Andrea takes out her IUD. 270 00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:49,125 Wait. What? 271 00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:49,793 No! 272 00:08:50,093 --> 00:08:51,663 I just want to show you guys a good time. 273 00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:53,165 Well, you're not off to a great start. 274 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,971 What are you talking about? You're getting a sweet treat. 275 00:08:55,971 --> 00:08:57,341 I want ice cream. 276 00:08:57,341 --> 00:08:59,378 Well water ice is a local favorite 277 00:08:59,478 --> 00:09:01,215 and also happens to be less fattening. 278 00:09:01,215 --> 00:09:02,484 Are you calling me fat? 279 00:09:02,484 --> 00:09:03,520 You're body shaming me. 280 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:04,756 Oh my god no-- 281 00:09:04,756 --> 00:09:06,092 you have a great body-- 282 00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:07,394 wait... no. I mean-- 283 00:09:07,394 --> 00:09:09,098 you're a beautiful girl. You're beau-- 284 00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:10,599 Ew. So sus. 285 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,271 Why is it called water ice? 286 00:09:12,271 --> 00:09:13,072 That's a dumb name. 287 00:09:13,072 --> 00:09:15,143 Yes, I agree okay it makes no sense, 288 00:09:15,143 --> 00:09:15,778 but I mean c'mon, 289 00:09:16,112 --> 00:09:17,649 look at all these fun flavors right there. 290 00:09:17,649 --> 00:09:19,653 My favorite flavor is birthday cake ice cream. 291 00:09:19,653 --> 00:09:20,619 I don't see that option, 292 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,257 so I'm going to try root beer. 293 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:23,359 It better be good. 294 00:09:23,627 --> 00:09:24,794 Hey there David! 295 00:09:24,795 --> 00:09:26,398 Medium cherry bordeaux? 296 00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:27,701 Haha, you know it. 297 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,137 And how about this little fella? 298 00:09:30,006 --> 00:09:30,641 What is that? 299 00:09:30,641 --> 00:09:31,510 My order. 300 00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:32,678 Why are you writing it down? 301 00:09:32,678 --> 00:09:33,814 In case he's deaf. 302 00:09:33,814 --> 00:09:35,016 What're you, ableist? 303 00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:35,685 He's not deaf. 304 00:09:35,818 --> 00:09:37,354 You just watched him take my order. 305 00:09:37,354 --> 00:09:38,757 Oh, give me that. 306 00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:40,994 Aaand we are leaving-- 307 00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:44,569 Flight 179er can we get a status check? 308 00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:46,138 Noticed you lost some altitude. 309 00:09:46,138 --> 00:09:47,107 This is 179er. 310 00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,144 Yeah we actually lost a couple of pilots, too. 311 00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:49,944 But all good, 312 00:09:49,945 --> 00:09:51,816 Captain Mark Hoagies is in the saddle. 313 00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:54,121 179er. Say again over-- 314 00:09:54,121 --> 00:09:56,192 did you say you lost a couple pilots? 315 00:09:56,192 --> 00:09:57,561 Uh... where'd they go? 316 00:09:57,561 --> 00:09:59,231 Uh tower, they're actually in heaven. 317 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:02,170 Although the one copilot was kinda mean he might be in hell, 318 00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:03,272 but they are both dead. 319 00:10:03,272 --> 00:10:04,876 Uh say-- What... 320 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,644 Wait they're dead? 321 00:10:06,645 --> 00:10:07,515 Uh looking at them, 322 00:10:07,615 --> 00:10:10,086 I wanna say affirmative. Yes, affirmative. 323 00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:12,423 Very sad. Very sad. Gone but not forgotten. 324 00:10:12,423 --> 00:10:13,092 179er. 325 00:10:13,392 --> 00:10:15,061 Can you confirm you have flying experience? 326 00:10:15,062 --> 00:10:17,200 Oh yeah big time--I mean affirmative. 327 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,971 I'm actually a very legitimate pilot. 328 00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:20,808 Passengers are actually very lucky 329 00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:22,745 that I am on this plane--aircraft. 330 00:10:22,745 --> 00:10:24,816 So you've flown a 737 before? 331 00:10:24,816 --> 00:10:26,820 Affirmative. Requesting permission to tell you 332 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,624 about all the cool planes I've flown. 333 00:10:28,624 --> 00:10:29,824 Uh yeah I don't need-- 334 00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:30,961 Let's not worry about that. 335 00:10:31,128 --> 00:10:33,600 Right now we're gonna talk you through an emergency landing. 336 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,036 Permission denied. I'm good. 337 00:10:35,036 --> 00:10:36,305 The hell is this guy-- 338 00:10:37,374 --> 00:10:40,581 179er. I need you to confirm that autopilot is engaged? 339 00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:42,016 Oh, good point, yeah. 340 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,322 Confirmed, autopilot is engaged. 341 00:10:44,322 --> 00:10:45,023 Turning it off now. 342 00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:47,093 No sir, do not disengage au-- 343 00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:47,895 Yeah, sorry tower, 344 00:10:47,996 --> 00:10:49,899 robots ain't taking this job from me. 345 00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:51,736 179er I need you to enga-- 346 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:52,905 Hey, goin' dark for a minute-- 347 00:10:52,905 --> 00:10:54,208 gotta check the score of the Birds game. 348 00:10:55,777 --> 00:10:59,451 And he dives forward for another Eagles first down! 349 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,988 Hell yeah. 350 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:04,862 Ooh thanks. 351 00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:06,064 Mm. 352 00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:06,766 So Hank, 353 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,835 we're just trying to understand what's going on. 354 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,073 Where were you headed today? 355 00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:11,208 A funeral. 356 00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:12,378 Yeah sounds about right. 357 00:11:12,378 --> 00:11:13,513 Where's the funeral? 358 00:11:13,513 --> 00:11:14,314 It's in Florida. 359 00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,886 You know they got hot dogs down there too, pal. 360 00:11:16,886 --> 00:11:18,523 You can buy hot dogs in Florida. 361 00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:21,228 Yeah, I know, I was gonna refill for the trip back. 362 00:11:21,361 --> 00:11:22,497 Here's what I don't get. 363 00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:23,634 Where's the buns? 364 00:11:23,634 --> 00:11:24,635 The mustard? 365 00:11:24,635 --> 00:11:26,138 Oh right here. 366 00:11:26,138 --> 00:11:27,073 Oh my god! Bomb! 367 00:11:27,073 --> 00:11:29,344 Hit the deck! Go go go go go! 368 00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:38,931 He's clean. 369 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,567 Just condiments and buns. 370 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,402 Alright, 371 00:11:41,402 --> 00:11:42,806 no criminal record. 372 00:11:42,806 --> 00:11:44,341 No terrorist affiliations. 373 00:11:44,341 --> 00:11:47,247 According to Facebook he's only in one group: 374 00:11:47,515 --> 00:11:49,418 Hot Dog Lovers of Glantontown. 375 00:11:49,552 --> 00:11:50,754 Ugh, there's just no link. 376 00:11:50,754 --> 00:11:51,790 The Hell are you talking about 377 00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,560 There's 800 damn links! 378 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,665 Ugh, this one's above my pay grade. 379 00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:57,835 Put me through to the Pentagon. 380 00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:00,404 This is boring. 381 00:12:00,405 --> 00:12:00,941 No, no. 382 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,410 You're just overstimulated. 383 00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:03,479 If you actually pay attention 384 00:12:03,479 --> 00:12:06,419 you'll find that nature is the opposite of boring. 385 00:12:06,419 --> 00:12:07,689 Can I just have my phone. 386 00:12:07,689 --> 00:12:10,327 No. But you can have this. 387 00:12:10,327 --> 00:12:11,563 Is that a piece of bread? 388 00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:12,096 Yes. 389 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,569 Because we are gonna feed the ducks. 390 00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:16,706 You shouldn't feed ducks bread. 391 00:12:16,706 --> 00:12:17,542 It's bad for them. 392 00:12:17,542 --> 00:12:18,843 You should feed them corn. 393 00:12:18,843 --> 00:12:20,280 Oh yeah, you're a duck expert? 394 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:20,915 Yes. 395 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,417 Ducks have been my favorite animal 396 00:12:22,417 --> 00:12:23,286 since I've been a kid 397 00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:24,421 and frankly I'm a little 398 00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:25,591 disappointed that you, 399 00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:27,427 as my uncle, did not know that. 400 00:12:27,427 --> 00:12:28,296 Uh... pfft... 401 00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:29,832 Of course I knew that. 402 00:12:29,932 --> 00:12:30,634 That's why we're here. 403 00:12:30,767 --> 00:12:32,838 Uncle David I really want cousins, 404 00:12:32,939 --> 00:12:34,909 but you're making this difficult... 405 00:12:35,476 --> 00:12:36,814 Oh! It's Andrea. 406 00:12:36,814 --> 00:12:39,051 Okay, pretend you're having fun. Smile! 407 00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:40,052 Hahaha, 408 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:40,721 hi babe. 409 00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,691 Just checking in to see how Uncle David Day 410 00:12:42,691 --> 00:12:43,727 is coming along. 411 00:12:43,727 --> 00:12:45,029 Oh it's going great! 412 00:12:45,129 --> 00:12:46,465 We're at the park right now, 413 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:47,868 we're just feeding the ducks, 414 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,137 you know, Ava's favorite animal. 415 00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:50,875 I literally just told him that. 416 00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,344 He's actually trying to malnourish them. 417 00:12:52,344 --> 00:12:54,582 No, we're just goofin' around, you know. 418 00:12:54,582 --> 00:12:56,451 Look at Aiden oh he's so cute, 419 00:12:56,451 --> 00:12:58,256 we were laughing so hard before. 420 00:12:58,256 --> 00:13:00,861 And he's really connecting with these ducks right over there. 421 00:13:00,861 --> 00:13:02,196 Here ducky ducky. 422 00:13:03,332 --> 00:13:04,168 Yeet! 423 00:13:04,468 --> 00:13:05,470 Oh my god! 424 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,340 Oh, David, did he just ki-- 425 00:13:08,009 --> 00:13:10,013 “It's not my fault she got kicked by a Zebra. 426 00:13:10,013 --> 00:13:11,348 I said “no touching. ” 427 00:13:14,221 --> 00:13:15,022 Excuse me? 428 00:13:15,022 --> 00:13:16,760 Would you mind moving your hair? 429 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,395 It's blocking my movie. 430 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,536 Oh alright, 431 00:13:21,536 --> 00:13:22,838 that's how you wanna play it? 432 00:13:22,838 --> 00:13:24,074 Watch this. 433 00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:31,153 179er, we need to discuss some procedures. 434 00:13:31,154 --> 00:13:33,627 First off let's avoid using radio comms 435 00:13:33,727 --> 00:13:35,128 for sports scores-- 436 00:13:35,129 --> 00:13:36,365 we're trying to get you safely on the ground, okay? 437 00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:40,239 Ah, This is 179er requesting you ease up on the micromanagement, 438 00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:40,907 thanks. 439 00:13:41,141 --> 00:13:42,076 This is standard procedure, sir. 440 00:13:42,276 --> 00:13:44,780 Okay well, this situation is totally under control, 441 00:13:44,781 --> 00:13:46,552 okay. These planes are basically un-crashable. 442 00:13:46,552 --> 00:13:47,555 Let's be real. 443 00:13:47,555 --> 00:13:48,722 Sir, that is not true. 444 00:13:48,723 --> 00:13:49,759 - I need you to please listen-- - Oh come on everybody knows 445 00:13:49,993 --> 00:13:52,564 half these buttons don't even do anything. Okay, watch. 446 00:13:52,564 --> 00:13:53,901 Bupabubaduboo. 447 00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,537 Sir do not do that- 448 00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:04,656 See? All good. 449 00:14:04,656 --> 00:14:05,323 I know you're stressed 450 00:14:05,591 --> 00:14:07,427 but maybe that's why you're on the ground 451 00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:08,429 and I'm up here. 452 00:14:08,429 --> 00:14:09,097 Let me tell you something. 453 00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:10,433 In thirty years, I have never 454 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,335 lost an aircraft. 455 00:14:11,335 --> 00:14:13,974 This moron better not end my streak. 456 00:14:13,974 --> 00:14:15,109 He's a pilot, sir. 457 00:14:15,109 --> 00:14:16,644 And he's the best chance we've got 458 00:14:16,645 --> 00:14:18,114 to get this bird down safely. 459 00:14:18,115 --> 00:14:20,554 Then find me someone who can get through to him. 460 00:14:22,825 --> 00:14:24,895 Do you know who I am? 461 00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:26,231 No. 462 00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,903 I'm the guy you don't want to meet. 463 00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:29,939 Hi. 464 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:33,079 You ever hear of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi? 465 00:14:33,079 --> 00:14:37,253 Self-proclaimed caliph of ISIS and all-around human scumbag? 466 00:14:37,253 --> 00:14:39,257 Well I'm the guy who dug the tunnel under the 467 00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:41,696 Al-Hajarah desert to smoke that bastard out. 468 00:14:42,264 --> 00:14:44,134 And then I called in the airstrike. 469 00:14:44,502 --> 00:14:48,342 You know the last I heard they found one of his teeth in Kut. 470 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:53,452 Well Hank, 471 00:14:53,587 --> 00:14:55,591 looks like it's your lucky day. 472 00:14:55,591 --> 00:14:57,594 Mr. Hoagies, follow me. 473 00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:00,767 Low Fuel, 474 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,037 Low Fuel. 475 00:15:02,237 --> 00:15:04,008 Am I hearing a low fuel warning? 476 00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:05,243 Say again... sorry, 477 00:15:05,343 --> 00:15:07,614 havin' trouble hearing you over all these alarms. 478 00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:08,951 I think your plane is glitchy. 479 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,119 State your fuel! 480 00:15:10,119 --> 00:15:12,658 Uhhh, looks like just under five hundo. 481 00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:15,764 Say again please: did you say Five-Zero-Zero? 482 00:15:15,764 --> 00:15:16,866 Affirmative. We're good. 483 00:15:16,866 --> 00:15:19,471 Got five hundred liter... quarts... 484 00:15:19,471 --> 00:15:20,473 got five hundred. 485 00:15:20,641 --> 00:15:21,977 We got five hundred fuels. 486 00:15:21,977 --> 00:15:22,878 Dear God, 487 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,616 this moron is five minutes away 488 00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,051 from being a hang glider. 489 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,621 Okay listen, pal. 490 00:15:27,621 --> 00:15:29,892 You need to land this thing now! 491 00:15:29,892 --> 00:15:32,430 Confirm auto-land is engaged. 492 00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,635 Negative tower. We're doing it live. 493 00:15:34,635 --> 00:15:35,737 No you idiot! 494 00:15:35,737 --> 00:15:37,541 Knock it off with this cowboy crap. 495 00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:40,280 Tower this is 179er requesting permission to speak 496 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,883 to someone a little more professional. 497 00:15:41,883 --> 00:15:42,283 Gah! 498 00:15:42,283 --> 00:15:43,452 I gotta tell ya. 499 00:15:43,452 --> 00:15:44,154 I've dealt with a lot of 500 00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:45,790 jackass pilots before, 501 00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:46,593 but this guy... 502 00:15:46,593 --> 00:15:47,927 this guy is impossible. 503 00:15:47,928 --> 00:15:49,131 He won't listen to me. 504 00:15:49,131 --> 00:15:51,368 But he might listen to him. 505 00:15:58,048 --> 00:15:59,215 Hey Mark. 506 00:15:59,216 --> 00:15:59,919 Hank? 507 00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:00,486 Is that you? 508 00:16:00,621 --> 00:16:02,257 I thought you were on the plane. 509 00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:02,791 Nah. 510 00:16:02,791 --> 00:16:03,927 Long story. 511 00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:05,665 Yo guess what I'm doing right now?! 512 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,800 Uh... flying a plane? 513 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,102 Oh yeah baby. 514 00:16:08,102 --> 00:16:09,539 Flying a plane. 515 00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:10,872 No big deal. Ahhh. 516 00:16:10,873 --> 00:16:11,776 Who is this guy? 517 00:16:11,776 --> 00:16:12,443 His brother. 518 00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:13,947 Says he's got over a hundred hours 519 00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:15,283 in the cockpit with the guy. 520 00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:17,320 Alright tell him he's approaching fuel exhaustion 521 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,658 and he must land the plane ASAP. 522 00:16:19,658 --> 00:16:21,094 Okay uh, 523 00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,332 Mark, they're saying your fuel's real tired 524 00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:25,971 and you gotta land the plane AARP. 525 00:16:25,971 --> 00:16:27,073 Oh my god. 526 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,543 Just maybe... just do it your way. 527 00:16:28,543 --> 00:16:29,376 Okay, 528 00:16:29,377 --> 00:16:30,379 okay yeah. 529 00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:31,716 Okay Mark, 530 00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:32,384 you got this. 531 00:16:32,384 --> 00:16:34,053 Just like we're in the garage. 532 00:16:34,053 --> 00:16:36,056 Hold on. What do you mean by “garage ”? 533 00:16:36,057 --> 00:16:37,728 Oh it's the room where you park your car. 534 00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:39,531 No I know what a damn garage is. 535 00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:42,103 What do you mean you want him to land the plane 536 00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:44,576 “just like we're in the garage ”" 537 00:16:44,576 --> 00:16:45,243 What does that mean? 538 00:16:45,511 --> 00:16:47,815 Oh that's where he sets up his simulator. 539 00:16:47,815 --> 00:16:48,817 Simulator?! 540 00:16:49,251 --> 00:16:52,323 Does he have any experience flying a real plane? 541 00:16:52,658 --> 00:16:53,560 I mean... 542 00:16:53,693 --> 00:16:55,029 he does now. 543 00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:59,538 Are you fricken' kidding me?!?! 544 00:16:59,538 --> 00:17:01,140 Did you do this?! 545 00:17:01,141 --> 00:17:02,376 Yeah. Do you like it? 546 00:17:02,376 --> 00:17:04,715 I think it compliments your ugly attitude. 547 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,555 Oh I'll beat your ass, bitch. 548 00:17:07,555 --> 00:17:10,760 Yeah yeah. Can you at least wait until after this dance scene? 549 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:16,606 I need all emergency vehicles standing by. 550 00:17:16,973 --> 00:17:19,277 He's lined up and his altitude looks good. 551 00:17:19,545 --> 00:17:22,083 You know he might actually pull this off. 552 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,285 You got this Mark. 553 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,758 So uh, you gonna do your signature move? 554 00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:26,626 What does that mean? 555 00:17:26,626 --> 00:17:27,293 Yeah I don't know Hank, 556 00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:28,630 I'm trying to give the passengers 557 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:29,732 a smooth landing here. 558 00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:31,001 Hold on, what does that mean, 559 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:31,937 signature move? 560 00:17:32,104 --> 00:17:34,508 Oh, uh, right before landing he does a barrel roll. 561 00:17:34,508 --> 00:17:35,409 Oh man-- 562 00:17:35,544 --> 00:17:38,717 That might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 563 00:17:38,717 --> 00:17:39,418 Uh no. 564 00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:41,422 Actually it's very cool. You wanna see it? 565 00:17:41,422 --> 00:17:42,558 Don't even think about it. 566 00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,494 Too late. Already thinking about it. 567 00:17:44,494 --> 00:17:44,929 Buddy, 568 00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:50,774 you absolutely “cannot do a barrel roll 569 00:17:50,774 --> 00:17:53,011 on a commercial airline ”. 570 00:17:53,011 --> 00:17:54,348 Maybe you can't, 571 00:17:54,481 --> 00:17:55,283 but I can. 572 00:17:55,383 --> 00:17:56,786 I've actually done it a bunch of times. 573 00:17:56,786 --> 00:17:58,122 I even once did it on a blimp. 574 00:17:58,122 --> 00:18:00,026 Oh my god, oh my god. 575 00:18:00,026 --> 00:18:01,028 Uh... I wouldn't push him... 576 00:18:01,028 --> 00:18:02,130 Listen pal! 577 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:05,336 I don't care what you do in your garage 578 00:18:05,336 --> 00:18:06,772 but this is real life. 579 00:18:07,006 --> 00:18:10,212 There are actual lives at stake. Okay? 580 00:18:10,312 --> 00:18:12,050 This isn't your stupid video game. 581 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,653 Okay pal well listen up. 582 00:18:13,653 --> 00:18:14,922 It ain't a video game. 583 00:18:14,922 --> 00:18:16,389 It's a simulation. 584 00:18:16,390 --> 00:18:16,893 Hank, 585 00:18:17,193 --> 00:18:18,630 we're doing a barrel roll. 586 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:19,966 Oh my god 587 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,535 they're all gonna die. 588 00:18:25,544 --> 00:18:26,412 Ladies and gentleman, 589 00:18:26,513 --> 00:18:28,617 this is your captain Mark Hoagies speaking. 590 00:18:28,617 --> 00:18:30,921 We're gonna be doin' an emergency landing today. 591 00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:31,756 No big deal. 592 00:18:31,990 --> 00:18:34,060 The weather in Philadelphia is probably the same 593 00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:35,597 as when we left twenty minutes ago. 594 00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:38,300 But don't worry-- I got a special treat for youse all. 595 00:18:38,301 --> 00:18:40,205 Might want to have your phones ready 596 00:18:40,205 --> 00:18:42,578 because this landing is gonna be memorable. 597 00:18:42,578 --> 00:18:43,546 Oh my god... 598 00:18:44,848 --> 00:18:46,452 What-- are you afraid of me? 599 00:18:46,452 --> 00:18:46,953 No, 600 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,690 but I'm afraid of my husband 601 00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:49,925 flying this plane. 602 00:18:59,778 --> 00:19:01,312 Ugh this sucks. 603 00:19:01,313 --> 00:19:03,318 How much longer do we have to walk? 604 00:19:03,318 --> 00:19:04,989 We're not walking. We're hiking. 605 00:19:04,989 --> 00:19:05,990 Hiking is stupid. 606 00:19:05,990 --> 00:19:07,227 Well too bad. 607 00:19:07,227 --> 00:19:09,130 You know, I tried taking you for treats 608 00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:10,499 and you almost ruined my life. 609 00:19:10,499 --> 00:19:13,238 Then I brought you to the park and you kicked a duck. 610 00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:15,209 I didn't kick it. I yeeted it. 611 00:19:15,209 --> 00:19:16,777 How about you just give us our phones back 612 00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:18,883 and we'll just lie and say we had a good time? 613 00:19:18,883 --> 00:19:19,885 Everybody wins. 614 00:19:19,885 --> 00:19:20,987 No way Jose. 615 00:19:20,987 --> 00:19:22,423 We're doing this above board. 616 00:19:22,423 --> 00:19:24,995 Well, enjoy wearing condoms for the rest of your life. 617 00:19:24,995 --> 00:19:27,099 What!? I don't... always have to... 618 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,670 I'm not having this conversation with you. 619 00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:30,640 Maybe if you stopped treating us like babies 620 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,410 we could actually connect in a meaningful way. 621 00:19:32,511 --> 00:19:33,780 Okay. You know what? Great. 622 00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:35,817 You want to have a mature conversation? 623 00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:36,418 Let's do it. 624 00:19:36,418 --> 00:19:37,286 Why doesn't Aunt Andrea 625 00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:38,253 want to have kids with you? 626 00:19:38,254 --> 00:19:39,859 Ah... Wow. Um... 627 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:44,502 she is just on a different timetable. 628 00:19:44,502 --> 00:19:46,369 Sounds a lot like you never had sex. 629 00:19:46,370 --> 00:19:47,808 Isn't she like 45? 630 00:19:47,808 --> 00:19:49,712 She's probably already having menopause. 631 00:19:49,712 --> 00:19:51,815 Why are you so obsessed with having kids anyway? 632 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,254 Do you think it's going to fix your marriage problems? 633 00:19:54,254 --> 00:19:56,157 Okay, you know what?! I can't with you two. 634 00:19:56,157 --> 00:19:57,695 Here, take your stupid phones. 635 00:19:57,695 --> 00:20:00,299 Now I get why your mom lets you have them all the time. 636 00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:02,470 Try to do something right... 637 00:20:03,639 --> 00:20:05,744 Woaaaaahhhhh! 638 00:20:05,744 --> 00:20:06,445 Did you see that? 639 00:20:06,713 --> 00:20:08,448 No, I was on my phone-- wait what'd I miss? 640 00:20:08,448 --> 00:20:10,152 The coolest thing I've ever seen! 641 00:20:10,152 --> 00:20:11,021 Did you get it on video? 642 00:20:11,021 --> 00:20:11,656 Let me see. 643 00:20:11,656 --> 00:20:12,323 Nah. 644 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,294 We just kinda experienced it IRL. 645 00:20:14,294 --> 00:20:16,198 And you know, it was pretty sweet. 646 00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:17,033 Yeah, 647 00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:18,401 thanks Uncle David. 648 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:31,963 Aw yeah. 649 00:20:31,963 --> 00:20:32,831 Nailed it. 650 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,503 Nailed it. 651 00:20:44,054 --> 00:20:45,055 I mean let's be real okay, 652 00:20:45,055 --> 00:20:46,491 if you're allergic to peanuts 653 00:20:46,491 --> 00:20:47,928 you gotta announce that to the cabin. 654 00:20:47,928 --> 00:20:49,164 I mean, that's just pilot error. 655 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:49,832 Okay Mark. 656 00:20:50,099 --> 00:20:52,336 But luckily, my little “video game ” 657 00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:54,509 saved the lives of two hundred people, so. 658 00:20:54,509 --> 00:20:56,613 Yeah and put you on the “no fly list. ” 659 00:20:56,613 --> 00:20:59,083 Small price to pay for being a hero. 660 00:20:59,083 --> 00:20:59,952 I hear that. 661 00:20:59,952 --> 00:21:01,254 I hope Uncle Kenny isn't mad 662 00:21:01,254 --> 00:21:02,657 we missed his funeral. 663 00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:05,898 Oh come on $15?! 664 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,366 How are they gonna charge for parking!? 665 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:08,636 We didn't even get to Florida! 666 00:21:13,212 --> 00:21:14,815 Uh, what are you doing? 667 00:21:16,117 --> 00:21:17,787 Hank, you thinking what I'm thinking? 668 00:21:17,787 --> 00:21:21,094 That condiments should be packed in a clear plastic bag? 669 00:21:21,194 --> 00:21:22,062 No, Hank-- 670 00:21:22,998 --> 00:21:24,000 BARREL ROLL!