1 00:00:01,770 --> 00:00:03,373 Man, sure is nice up here. 2 00:00:03,373 --> 00:00:04,909 Let me tell you my man, any day 3 00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:06,580 at thirty thousand feet is a good one. 4 00:00:07,816 --> 00:00:09,786 Looks like we're getting some light chop. 5 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,559 Descending to twenty-eight to get out of it. 6 00:00:13,661 --> 00:00:14,495 You know what Hank? 7 00:00:14,763 --> 00:00:16,567 Why don't we just take this puppy in for a landing? 8 00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:18,003 Aye aye, Captain. 9 00:00:18,003 --> 00:00:18,871 But first, 10 00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:20,708 we're doing a barrel roll. 11 00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:21,877 You sure, Mark? 12 00:00:21,877 --> 00:00:23,246 You're damn right I'm sure. 13 00:00:23,246 --> 00:00:24,382 It's my signature move, okay? 14 00:00:24,382 --> 00:00:27,021 Every great pilot has a signature move. 15 00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:28,257 Sully Sullenberger, 16 00:00:28,257 --> 00:00:29,392 he's a river lander. 17 00:00:29,392 --> 00:00:31,563 Maverick, he buzzes towers. 18 00:00:31,563 --> 00:00:32,866 And Mark Hoagies, 19 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,402 he does a barrel roll. 20 00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:35,872 Here we go baby! 21 00:00:35,872 --> 00:00:37,107 Doing a barrel roll, 22 00:00:37,107 --> 00:00:38,744 let's gooooo! 23 00:00:38,744 --> 00:00:39,847 Beautiful Mark. 24 00:00:39,847 --> 00:00:40,749 Hell Yeah! 25 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,585 Great balls of fire baby! 26 00:00:42,719 --> 00:00:43,419 Damnit, Mark-- 27 00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:44,957 I've been looking all over for you! 28 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,159 Tam, not now. Not now! 29 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:47,261 Oh crap. Oh crap, 30 00:00:47,261 --> 00:00:49,198 no no no no no no no no no. 31 00:00:49,867 --> 00:00:51,002 [crash] 32 00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:52,505 [curtain opens] 33 00:00:52,872 --> 00:00:54,308 You almost had it that time. 34 00:00:54,543 --> 00:00:56,547 Dammit, Tam-- ugh I was in the zone. 35 00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:58,183 What the hell are you doing, Mark? 36 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,187 We gotta be out the door in thirty minutes 37 00:01:00,187 --> 00:01:02,291 and you're playing fricken' video games! Come on. 38 00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:04,295 This is not a video game, Tam, 39 00:01:04,295 --> 00:01:06,265 this is a flight simulator. 40 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,136 Okay, this is a serious training tool. 41 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,140 Okay well it looks to me like a guy 42 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:11,677 messing around instead of packing. 43 00:01:11,677 --> 00:01:13,446 I don't even understand why we gotta go to this 44 00:01:13,446 --> 00:01:15,150 stupid funeral in the first place, okay? 45 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:15,952 You barely know the guy. 46 00:01:16,052 --> 00:01:18,457 Yeah Mark, that's because he's your uncle. 47 00:01:18,457 --> 00:01:20,594 Can't miss your uncle's funeral, Mark. 48 00:01:20,594 --> 00:01:22,799 You know he's your uncle too, Hank. 49 00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:23,768 Oh no, 50 00:01:23,902 --> 00:01:25,103 I better go pack. 51 00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:26,573 [♪] 52 00:01:26,807 --> 00:01:29,444 Well, I used to work at a hot dog factory. 53 00:01:29,445 --> 00:01:31,449 Until them robots came along. 54 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,220 And now there is no job for me 55 00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:35,757 But I get 3,000 bucks a month 56 00:01:35,758 --> 00:01:39,967 Thanks to UBI 57 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:43,907 Now we're Universal Basic Guys. 58 00:01:43,908 --> 00:01:45,744 It may not sound like much. 59 00:01:45,745 --> 00:01:48,917 But we're still gonna try 60 00:01:48,918 --> 00:01:53,794 We're just Universal Basic Guys 61 00:01:58,838 --> 00:01:59,305 [beep] 62 00:01:59,706 --> 00:02:01,208 Miss, you have to take your shoes off. 63 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,179 Oh come on. They're flip-flops. 64 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:04,481 You can see my feet. 65 00:02:04,481 --> 00:02:07,087 Geez, lady just take your fricken shoes off. 66 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:09,392 Okay, Passenger 57, will you relax? 67 00:02:09,492 --> 00:02:10,528 Okay, we're not even on the plane yet 68 00:02:10,528 --> 00:02:11,630 and you're about to make a scene. 69 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,366 I just don't understand why people 70 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:14,936 gotta be so rude at the airport. 71 00:02:14,936 --> 00:02:16,472 Well with all due respect Tam, 72 00:02:16,472 --> 00:02:18,343 you're the one who was on the No Fly List. 73 00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:21,315 Yeah because I actually stand up to these jerks. 74 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,821 Sorry I have a strong sense of airport justice. 75 00:02:23,821 --> 00:02:25,324 You broke someone's arm, Tam. 76 00:02:25,324 --> 00:02:27,361 I didn't break his arm. I broke his pinky. 77 00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:28,865 And the middle seat gets the armrest. 78 00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:30,000 Everybody knows that! 79 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,670 Sigh... Alright alright. 80 00:02:31,804 --> 00:02:34,308 I promise you I'm not gonna make a scene today. 81 00:02:34,843 --> 00:02:36,012 Oh crap! We gotta go. 82 00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:37,013 The flight's boarding. 83 00:02:37,013 --> 00:02:37,882 Where's Hank? 84 00:02:37,882 --> 00:02:38,550 [beep] 85 00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:40,621 Heyo Hank, what's the hold up? 86 00:02:40,621 --> 00:02:41,255 I don't know. 87 00:02:41,456 --> 00:02:43,192 Okay. Well we'll see you at the gate. 88 00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:45,130 Uh... hey boss? 89 00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:47,300 You might want to take a look at this. 90 00:02:49,706 --> 00:02:50,775 Oh look at this. 91 00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:53,413 It is so great to get out of Westchester for the weekend 92 00:02:53,413 --> 00:02:55,985 and show the kids a normal town with, like, 93 00:02:55,985 --> 00:02:58,156 chain restaurants and stuff. 94 00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:01,029 This area actually has a ton of great spots. 95 00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:02,532 You know I specifically chose this place 96 00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:05,270 for their table-side guacamole presentation. 97 00:03:05,538 --> 00:03:07,041 Thought the kids would get a kick out of it. 98 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,276 Hey Aiden and Ava, look-- 99 00:03:08,276 --> 00:03:10,080 he's making our guacamole 100 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,421 according to the ancient Mexican customs of the Nahuatl people. 101 00:03:14,421 --> 00:03:15,255 Isn't that right? 102 00:03:15,256 --> 00:03:16,159 I don't know. 103 00:03:16,159 --> 00:03:16,927 Sure. 104 00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:22,772 Ugh, your sister's raising some real screenagers over there. 105 00:03:22,772 --> 00:03:23,440 What's that David? 106 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,545 Oh I was just saying that... 107 00:03:25,812 --> 00:03:29,318 maybe Aiden and Ava could put their phones down for a bit. 108 00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:31,156 You know? Experience Glantontown? 109 00:03:31,156 --> 00:03:31,991 Oh really? 110 00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:34,763 You know, I can't wait for you to have kids some day. 111 00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:35,765 You and me both... 112 00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:36,766 Okay, David. 113 00:03:36,766 --> 00:03:37,535 Here's an idea: 114 00:03:37,935 --> 00:03:39,706 how about you take your niece and nephew out for a day 115 00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:41,676 with no screens and we'll see how you do. 116 00:03:41,676 --> 00:03:43,446 Then we can talk about having kids. 117 00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:45,049 I love that idea. 118 00:03:45,049 --> 00:03:46,318 Okay. Yeah. That sounds great. 119 00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:47,788 And if they have a good time, 120 00:03:47,788 --> 00:03:48,924 which they will, 121 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,094 maybe you'll consider... 122 00:03:50,227 --> 00:03:51,629 “pulling the goalie? ” 123 00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:52,331 The what? 124 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:53,534 The, uh... 125 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,602 IUD? 126 00:03:54,603 --> 00:03:55,403 Yeah sure. 127 00:03:55,538 --> 00:03:57,809 As long as you stop calling that stuff 128 00:03:57,809 --> 00:03:58,944 “Gwah-Kah-Moh-Lay. ” 129 00:03:59,044 --> 00:04:00,614 Hey what do you think, guys? 130 00:04:00,614 --> 00:04:03,053 Excited for your big day with Uncle David? 131 00:04:03,053 --> 00:04:03,954 No. 132 00:04:04,689 --> 00:04:05,490 Come on. 133 00:04:05,825 --> 00:04:07,695 [captain] Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentleman. 134 00:04:07,696 --> 00:04:09,832 We can't taxi until everyone is seated 135 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,169 with their seatbelts fastened-Ma'am, 136 00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:12,505 can I check that for you? 137 00:04:12,505 --> 00:04:14,610 How about you check your attitude? 138 00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:16,379 Mark, you see this woman? 139 00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:18,917 First with the flip-flops and now this. 140 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:19,619 Unbelievable. 141 00:04:19,786 --> 00:04:21,957 Tam, remember what Dr. Lorefice said: 142 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,392 when you feel the rage, 143 00:04:23,392 --> 00:04:26,465 you take a deep breath and you distract yourself, okay? 144 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:27,902 Ooooh look there, 145 00:04:27,902 --> 00:04:30,240 they got the new Magic Mike, your favorite. 146 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,845 Oh I do love my Channing Taters. 147 00:04:34,115 --> 00:04:35,217 [sigh] 148 00:04:35,217 --> 00:04:36,653 [crunching] 149 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:37,989 Are you kiddin' me? 150 00:04:38,222 --> 00:04:38,657 What? 151 00:04:38,791 --> 00:04:39,994 You can't bring peanuts 152 00:04:39,994 --> 00:04:40,862 on a flight no more! 153 00:04:41,229 --> 00:04:43,501 Oh come on. They had peanuts on flights for like 200 years 154 00:04:43,501 --> 00:04:44,603 and nobody got sick 155 00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:47,241 and now all of a sudden every kid's allergic to them? 156 00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:48,243 Ridiculous. 157 00:04:48,243 --> 00:04:50,714 They are “the ” snack of the sky! 158 00:04:51,617 --> 00:04:52,552 Sigh! 159 00:04:53,019 --> 00:04:55,758 [movie] You want me to teach animals how to strip? 160 00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,761 They're already naked, Mike. 161 00:04:57,762 --> 00:05:00,501 You just have to teach them how to dance. 162 00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:02,371 [door buzzer] 163 00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:04,642 Sir, I have to ask you a couple of questions. 164 00:05:04,642 --> 00:05:06,680 Did you pack this bag yourself? 165 00:05:06,813 --> 00:05:07,481 Yeah. 166 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,721 Did you at any time leave your bag unattended? 167 00:05:11,022 --> 00:05:11,823 Uh... no. 168 00:05:12,124 --> 00:05:15,364 And did you accept anything from another passenger? 169 00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:16,734 Uh... 170 00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:17,401 no. 171 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,038 Alright, buddy, then tell me 172 00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:20,406 what's goin' on here. 173 00:05:20,406 --> 00:05:23,379 What are you doing with 100 pounds of hotdogs? 174 00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:25,150 You smuggling this meat? 175 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,020 No, I just like hot dogs. 176 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,222 Yeah, you and me both buddy, 177 00:05:28,222 --> 00:05:31,462 but I never thought to pack 800 of them in a suitcase. 178 00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:33,333 I don't know what the hell you're up to, 179 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,300 but whatever it is, 180 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,436 it ain't kosher. 181 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,106 No, they actually are kosher. 182 00:05:37,107 --> 00:05:39,746 Oh we got a comedian over here! 183 00:05:40,013 --> 00:05:42,552 [tense music] 184 00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:45,790 Well it's not illegal to bring meat on a plane. 185 00:05:45,791 --> 00:05:47,562 I mean maybe he's just a nut job. 186 00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:49,198 You know who else was crazy? 187 00:05:49,398 --> 00:05:50,433 Ted Kaczynski. 188 00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:51,669 So this guy's what, 189 00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:52,872 the “Hot Dog Bomber? ” 190 00:05:52,872 --> 00:05:54,843 Hot dogs are packed with nitrates. 191 00:05:54,843 --> 00:05:56,580 You know what else was packed with nitrates? 192 00:05:56,881 --> 00:06:00,086 The Port of Beirut right before it exploded. 193 00:06:00,821 --> 00:06:02,390 Get me Quantico. 194 00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:05,096 [water flushes] 195 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,002 Top shelf flight so far, Captain. 196 00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:08,804 Well thank you. 197 00:06:08,804 --> 00:06:09,471 Appreciate that. 198 00:06:09,471 --> 00:06:11,475 Yeah, real smooth take off. 199 00:06:11,475 --> 00:06:13,914 Nice rotation. Excellent job. 200 00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:14,616 Well thanks. 201 00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:15,785 You a pilot yourself? 202 00:06:15,785 --> 00:06:16,653 I dabble. 203 00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:17,153 Oh yeah? 204 00:06:17,153 --> 00:06:18,022 What do you fly? 205 00:06:18,022 --> 00:06:19,358 Oh man, pfft. 206 00:06:19,358 --> 00:06:20,928 I mean I've flown commercial, 207 00:06:20,928 --> 00:06:23,331 C-130s, F-14s, 208 00:06:23,332 --> 00:06:26,239 DHC-4 Caribous... I mean if it's in the sky, 209 00:06:26,239 --> 00:06:27,374 I've flown it. You know what I mean? 210 00:06:27,374 --> 00:06:28,476 Well, I'll be damned! 211 00:06:28,476 --> 00:06:30,380 That is some serious equipment. 212 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,984 You wanna pop into the cockpit, 213 00:06:31,984 --> 00:06:32,719 talk a little shop? 214 00:06:32,819 --> 00:06:34,689 Oh hell yeah, I-- that'd be great. 215 00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:38,129 Yeah, we're not supposed to do this but, 216 00:06:38,129 --> 00:06:39,231 ah what the heck. 217 00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:41,836 9/11 was a long time ago, you know? 218 00:06:43,339 --> 00:06:45,444 [Tammy sniffs] 219 00:06:45,645 --> 00:06:47,848 Oh, now you take them off. 220 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:50,989 Um... Ma'am? 221 00:06:50,989 --> 00:06:51,990 Would you mind just, like, 222 00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,428 using headphones or turning the sound off? 223 00:06:54,963 --> 00:06:56,232 It's a free country. 224 00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:58,504 “Candy Smash ”. 225 00:06:58,504 --> 00:06:59,640 [sigh] Dear God... 226 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,544 please give me the strength not to beat 227 00:07:01,544 --> 00:07:03,613 the living daylights out of this woman. 228 00:07:03,614 --> 00:07:05,651 Yeah just last week I was flying a modified. 229 00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:07,788 XF-85 Goblin over the Sahara. 230 00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:09,659 Got that puppy to sonic boom. 231 00:07:09,659 --> 00:07:11,128 Let me tell you, the Camels, they were friggin 232 00:07:11,129 --> 00:07:12,498 crappin' themselves. 233 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,536 This guy knows what I'm talking about! 234 00:07:14,536 --> 00:07:15,470 Oh my god. 235 00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:16,940 And you think that's something, 236 00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:19,946 I once took a Warthog over the Ho Chi Minh Trail. 237 00:07:19,946 --> 00:07:22,150 I was like... deh-deh-deh-deh-deh-deh. 238 00:07:23,019 --> 00:07:23,721 Oh yeah? 239 00:07:24,255 --> 00:07:26,559 I flew A-10s in Desert Storm. 240 00:07:26,559 --> 00:07:28,531 I didn't realize they were used in. 241 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,133 Aren't you a little young for Vietnam? 242 00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:31,804 Oh yeah, but I love history. 243 00:07:31,804 --> 00:07:33,707 Let me tell you, I was doing a World War Two 244 00:07:33,707 --> 00:07:35,443 bombing mission and I was supposed to take out 245 00:07:35,443 --> 00:07:36,279 some oil refinery, 246 00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:37,716 but get this okay-- 247 00:07:37,716 --> 00:07:39,952 I took the B-2 over Berlin 248 00:07:39,952 --> 00:07:42,458 and dropped the full payload on the f ürherbunker man. 249 00:07:42,458 --> 00:07:44,027 Wiped Germany off the friggin map. 250 00:07:44,027 --> 00:07:44,696 Oh yeah? 251 00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:47,133 You flew a stealth bomber in World War Two? 252 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,508 Yeah looks like you got a nasty cumulonimbus over there. 253 00:07:50,508 --> 00:07:52,511 You might wanna yaw to the left a bit. 254 00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:54,882 Captain, you gonna yaw, or... 255 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:58,189 Oh crap, yo this guy's havin' a heart attack. 256 00:07:58,323 --> 00:08:00,059 Wait, are you eating peanuts? 257 00:08:00,059 --> 00:08:00,861 Oh you know it! 258 00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:02,565 Snack of the skies, baby! Right? 259 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,734 He's allergic to peanuts! 260 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,738 Get the EpiPen outta the first aid kit! 261 00:08:07,074 --> 00:08:07,775 Got it! 262 00:08:08,176 --> 00:08:09,512 Here you go dude. 263 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,183 Not me, you idiot! 264 00:08:12,183 --> 00:08:13,621 Oh. Uh... Well, 265 00:08:13,621 --> 00:08:14,421 you switched seats, okay. 266 00:08:14,589 --> 00:08:15,958 You can't be doing that when you're wearing 267 00:08:15,958 --> 00:08:16,960 the same uniform. 268 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,538 Okay, now that's a heart attack. 269 00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:25,444 “Okay. ” 270 00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:27,214 “All this person has to do is 271 00:08:27,214 --> 00:08:28,718 live in a tree for one year! 272 00:08:28,718 --> 00:08:30,220 What they don't know is... 273 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:32,157 I'm gonna set the tree on fire ” 274 00:08:32,157 --> 00:08:34,462 Okay guys, I think it's time to put our phones away. 275 00:08:34,462 --> 00:08:37,568 Perhaps today we experience some things IRL? 276 00:08:37,569 --> 00:08:39,338 You're going to regret this Uncle David. 277 00:08:39,338 --> 00:08:40,139 No, 278 00:08:40,373 --> 00:08:42,612 you're gonna regret wasting your entire youth 279 00:08:42,612 --> 00:08:45,050 staring at a little screen instead of being present. 280 00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:47,989 I know you're just doing this so Aunt Andrea takes out her IUD. 281 00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:49,125 Wait. What? 282 00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:49,793 No! 283 00:08:50,093 --> 00:08:51,663 I just want to show you guys a good time. 284 00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:53,165 Well, you're not off to a great start. 285 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,971 What are you talking about? You're getting a sweet treat. 286 00:08:55,971 --> 00:08:57,341 I want ice cream. 287 00:08:57,341 --> 00:08:59,378 Well water ice is a local favorite 288 00:08:59,478 --> 00:09:01,215 and also happens to be less fattening. 289 00:09:01,215 --> 00:09:02,484 Are you calling me fat? 290 00:09:02,484 --> 00:09:03,520 You're body shaming me. 291 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:04,756 Oh my god no-- 292 00:09:04,756 --> 00:09:06,092 you have a great body-- 293 00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:07,394 wait... no. I mean-- 294 00:09:07,394 --> 00:09:09,098 you're a beautiful girl. You're beau-- 295 00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:10,600 Ew. So sus. 296 00:09:10,601 --> 00:09:12,271 Why is it called water ice? 297 00:09:12,271 --> 00:09:13,072 That's a dumb name. 298 00:09:13,072 --> 00:09:15,143 Yes, I agree okay it makes no sense, 299 00:09:15,143 --> 00:09:15,778 but I mean c'mon, 300 00:09:16,112 --> 00:09:17,649 look at all these fun flavors right there. 301 00:09:17,649 --> 00:09:19,653 My favorite flavor is birthday cake ice cream. 302 00:09:19,653 --> 00:09:20,620 I don't see that option, 303 00:09:20,621 --> 00:09:22,257 so I'm going to try root beer. 304 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:23,359 It better be good. 305 00:09:23,627 --> 00:09:24,795 Hey there David! 306 00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:26,398 Medium cherry bordeaux? 307 00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:27,701 Haha, you know it. 308 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,137 And how about this little fella? 309 00:09:30,006 --> 00:09:30,641 What is that? 310 00:09:30,641 --> 00:09:31,510 My order. 311 00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:32,678 Why are you writing it down? 312 00:09:32,678 --> 00:09:33,814 In case he's deaf. 313 00:09:33,814 --> 00:09:35,016 What're you, ableist? 314 00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:35,685 He's not deaf. 315 00:09:35,818 --> 00:09:37,354 You just watched him take my order. 316 00:09:37,354 --> 00:09:38,757 Oh, give me that. 317 00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:40,994 Aaand we are leaving-- 318 00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:44,569 [radio] Flight 179er can we get a status check? 319 00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:46,138 Noticed you lost some altitude. 320 00:09:46,138 --> 00:09:47,107 This is 179er. 321 00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,144 Yeah we actually lost a couple of pilots, too. 322 00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:49,945 But all good, 323 00:09:49,946 --> 00:09:51,816 Captain Mark Hoagies is in the saddle. 324 00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:54,121 [radio] 179er. Say again over-- 325 00:09:54,121 --> 00:09:56,192 did you say you lost a couple pilots? 326 00:09:56,192 --> 00:09:57,561 Uh... where'd they go? 327 00:09:57,561 --> 00:09:59,231 Uh tower, they're actually in heaven. 328 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:02,170 Although the one copilot was kinda mean he might be in hell, 329 00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:03,272 but they are both dead. 330 00:10:03,272 --> 00:10:04,876 [radio] Uh say-- What... 331 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,645 Wait they're dead? 332 00:10:06,646 --> 00:10:07,515 Uh looking at them, 333 00:10:07,615 --> 00:10:10,086 I wanna say affirmative. Yes, affirmative. 334 00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:12,423 Very sad. Very sad. Gone but not forgotten. 335 00:10:12,423 --> 00:10:13,092 [radio] 179er. 336 00:10:13,392 --> 00:10:15,062 Can you confirm you have flying experience? 337 00:10:15,063 --> 00:10:17,200 Oh yeah big time--I mean affirmative. 338 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,971 I'm actually a very legitimate pilot. 339 00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:20,808 Passengers are actually very lucky 340 00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:22,745 that I am on this plane--aircraft. 341 00:10:22,745 --> 00:10:24,816 [radio] So you've flown a 737 before? 342 00:10:24,816 --> 00:10:26,820 Affirmative. Requesting permission to tell you 343 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,624 about all the cool planes I've flown. 344 00:10:28,624 --> 00:10:29,825 [radio] Uh yeah I don't need-- 345 00:10:29,826 --> 00:10:30,961 Let's not worry about that. 346 00:10:31,128 --> 00:10:33,600 Right now we're gonna talk you through an emergency landing. 347 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,036 Permission denied. I'm good. 348 00:10:35,036 --> 00:10:36,305 [radio] The hell is this guy-- 349 00:10:37,374 --> 00:10:40,581 179er. I need you to confirm that autopilot is engaged? 350 00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:42,016 Oh, good point, yeah. 351 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,322 Confirmed, autopilot is engaged. 352 00:10:44,322 --> 00:10:45,023 Turning it off now. 353 00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:47,093 [radio] No sir, do not disengage au-- 354 00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:47,895 Yeah, sorry tower, 355 00:10:47,996 --> 00:10:49,899 robots ain't taking this job from me. 356 00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:51,736 [radio] 179er I need you to enga-- 357 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:52,905 Hey, goin' dark for a minute-- 358 00:10:52,905 --> 00:10:54,208 gotta check the score of the Birds game. 359 00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:55,777 [changes frequency] 360 00:10:55,777 --> 00:10:59,451 And he dives forward for another Eagles first down! 361 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,988 Hell yeah. 362 00:11:01,222 --> 00:11:03,359 [tense music] 363 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:04,862 Ooh thanks. 364 00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:06,064 Mm. 365 00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:06,766 So Hank, 366 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,836 we're just trying to understand what's going on. 367 00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:10,073 Where were you headed today? 368 00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:11,208 A funeral. 369 00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:12,378 Yeah sounds about right. 370 00:11:12,378 --> 00:11:13,513 Where's the funeral? 371 00:11:13,513 --> 00:11:14,314 It's in Florida. 372 00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,886 You know they got hot dogs down there too, pal. 373 00:11:16,886 --> 00:11:18,523 You can buy hot dogs in Florida. 374 00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:21,228 Yeah, I know, I was gonna refill for the trip back. 375 00:11:21,361 --> 00:11:22,497 Here's what I don't get. 376 00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:23,634 Where's the buns? 377 00:11:23,634 --> 00:11:24,635 The mustard? 378 00:11:24,635 --> 00:11:26,138 Oh right here. 379 00:11:26,138 --> 00:11:27,073 Oh my god! Bomb! 380 00:11:27,073 --> 00:11:29,344 Hit the deck! Go go go go go! 381 00:11:29,779 --> 00:11:31,716 [panic and door slams] 382 00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:34,722 [metallic arm] 383 00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:38,931 He's clean. 384 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,567 Just condiments and buns. 385 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,402 Alright, 386 00:11:41,402 --> 00:11:42,806 no criminal record. 387 00:11:42,806 --> 00:11:44,341 No terrorist affiliations. 388 00:11:44,341 --> 00:11:47,247 According to Facebook he's only in one group: 389 00:11:47,515 --> 00:11:49,418 Hot Dog Lovers of Glantontown. 390 00:11:49,552 --> 00:11:50,754 Ugh, there's just no link. 391 00:11:50,754 --> 00:11:51,790 - The Hell are you talking about 392 00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,560 There's 800 damn links! 393 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,665 Ugh, this one's above my pay grade. 394 00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:57,835 Put me through to the Pentagon. 395 00:11:58,136 --> 00:11:59,304 [duck quacks] 396 00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:00,405 This is boring. 397 00:12:00,406 --> 00:12:00,941 No, no. 398 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,410 You're just overstimulated. 399 00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:03,479 If you actually pay attention 400 00:12:03,479 --> 00:12:06,419 you'll find that nature is the opposite of boring. 401 00:12:06,419 --> 00:12:07,689 Can I just have my phone. 402 00:12:07,689 --> 00:12:10,327 No. But you can have this. 403 00:12:10,327 --> 00:12:11,563 Is that a piece of bread? 404 00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:12,096 Yes. 405 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,569 Because we are gonna feed the ducks. 406 00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:16,706 You shouldn't feed ducks bread. 407 00:12:16,706 --> 00:12:17,542 It's bad for them. 408 00:12:17,542 --> 00:12:18,843 You should feed them corn. 409 00:12:18,843 --> 00:12:20,280 Oh yeah, you're a duck expert? 410 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:20,915 Yes. 411 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,417 Ducks have been my favorite animal 412 00:12:22,417 --> 00:12:23,286 since I've been a kid 413 00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:24,421 and frankly I'm a little 414 00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:25,591 disappointed that you, 415 00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:27,427 as my uncle, did not know that. 416 00:12:27,427 --> 00:12:28,296 Uh... pfft... 417 00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:29,832 Of course I knew that. 418 00:12:29,932 --> 00:12:30,634 That's why we're here. 419 00:12:30,767 --> 00:12:32,838 Uncle David I really want cousins, 420 00:12:32,939 --> 00:12:34,909 but you're making this difficult... 421 00:12:35,476 --> 00:12:36,814 Oh! It's Andrea. 422 00:12:36,814 --> 00:12:39,051 Okay, pretend you're having fun. Smile! 423 00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:40,052 Hahaha, 424 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:40,721 hi babe. 425 00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,691 Just checking in to see how Uncle David Day 426 00:12:42,691 --> 00:12:43,727 is coming along. 427 00:12:43,727 --> 00:12:45,029 Oh it's going great! 428 00:12:45,129 --> 00:12:46,465 We're at the park right now, 429 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:47,868 we're just feeding the ducks, 430 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,137 you know, Ava's favorite animal. 431 00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:50,875 I literally just told him that. 432 00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,344 He's actually trying to malnourish them. 433 00:12:52,344 --> 00:12:54,582 No, we're just goofin' around, you know. 434 00:12:54,582 --> 00:12:56,451 Look at Aiden oh he's so cute, 435 00:12:56,451 --> 00:12:58,256 we were laughing so hard before. 436 00:12:58,256 --> 00:13:00,861 And he's really connecting with these ducks right over there. 437 00:13:00,861 --> 00:13:02,196 Here ducky ducky. 438 00:13:03,332 --> 00:13:04,168 Yeet! 439 00:13:04,468 --> 00:13:05,470 Oh my god! 440 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,340 Oh, David, did he just ki-- 441 00:13:08,009 --> 00:13:10,013 “It's not my fault she got kicked by a Zebra. 442 00:13:10,013 --> 00:13:11,348 I said “no touching. ” 443 00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:12,951 [smack] 444 00:13:14,221 --> 00:13:15,022 Excuse me? 445 00:13:15,022 --> 00:13:16,760 Would you mind moving your hair? 446 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,395 It's blocking my movie. 447 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,536 Oh alright, 448 00:13:21,536 --> 00:13:22,838 that's how you wanna play it? 449 00:13:22,838 --> 00:13:24,074 Watch this. 450 00:13:24,207 --> 00:13:25,243 [chuckles] 451 00:13:25,376 --> 00:13:26,478 [snip, snip] 452 00:13:27,247 --> 00:13:28,382 [chuckles] 453 00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:31,154 [radio] 179er, we need to discuss some procedures. 454 00:13:31,155 --> 00:13:33,627 First off let's avoid using radio comms 455 00:13:33,727 --> 00:13:35,129 for sports scores-- 456 00:13:35,130 --> 00:13:36,365 we're trying to get you safely on the ground, okay? 457 00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:40,239 Ah, This is 179er requesting you ease up on the micromanagement, 458 00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:40,907 thanks. 459 00:13:41,141 --> 00:13:42,076 [radio] This is standard procedure, sir. 460 00:13:42,276 --> 00:13:44,781 Okay well, this situation is totally under control, 461 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,552 okay. These planes are basically un-crashable. 462 00:13:46,552 --> 00:13:47,555 Let's be real. 463 00:13:47,555 --> 00:13:48,723 [radio] Sir, that is not true. 464 00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:49,759 - I need you to please listen-- - Oh come on everybody knows 465 00:13:49,993 --> 00:13:52,564 half these buttons don't even do anything. Okay, watch. 466 00:13:52,564 --> 00:13:53,901 Bupabubaduboo. 467 00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,537 [radio] Sir do not do that- 468 00:14:00,413 --> 00:14:01,281 [beep] 469 00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:04,656 See? All good. 470 00:14:04,656 --> 00:14:05,323 I know you're stressed 471 00:14:05,591 --> 00:14:07,427 but maybe that's why you're on the ground 472 00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:08,429 and I'm up here. 473 00:14:08,429 --> 00:14:09,097 Let me tell you something. 474 00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:10,433 In thirty years, I have never 475 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,335 lost an aircraft. 476 00:14:11,335 --> 00:14:13,974 This moron better not end my streak. 477 00:14:13,974 --> 00:14:15,109 He's a pilot, sir. 478 00:14:15,109 --> 00:14:16,645 And he's the best chance we've got 479 00:14:16,646 --> 00:14:18,115 to get this bird down safely. 480 00:14:18,116 --> 00:14:20,554 Then find me someone who can get through to him. 481 00:14:21,254 --> 00:14:22,825 [tense music] 482 00:14:22,825 --> 00:14:24,895 Do you know who I am? 483 00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:26,231 No. 484 00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,903 I'm the guy you don't want to meet. 485 00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:29,939 Hi. 486 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:33,079 You ever hear of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi? 487 00:14:33,079 --> 00:14:37,253 Self-proclaimed caliph of ISIS and all-around human scumbag? 488 00:14:37,253 --> 00:14:39,257 Well I'm the guy who dug the tunnel under the 489 00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:41,696 Al-Hajarah desert to smoke that bastard out. 490 00:14:42,264 --> 00:14:44,134 And then I called in the airstrike. 491 00:14:44,502 --> 00:14:48,342 You know the last I heard they found one of his teeth in Kut. 492 00:14:48,576 --> 00:14:49,578 [door opens] 493 00:14:51,315 --> 00:14:52,350 [whispering] 494 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:53,452 Well Hank, 495 00:14:53,587 --> 00:14:55,591 looks like it's your lucky day. 496 00:14:55,591 --> 00:14:57,594 Mr. Hoagies, follow me. 497 00:14:58,328 --> 00:14:59,464 [alarms beeping] 498 00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:00,767 Low Fuel, 499 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,037 Low Fuel. 500 00:15:02,237 --> 00:15:04,008 [radio] Am I hearing a low fuel warning? 501 00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:05,243 Say again... sorry, 502 00:15:05,343 --> 00:15:07,614 havin' trouble hearing you over all these alarms. 503 00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:08,951 I think your plane is glitchy. 504 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,119 [radio] State your fuel! 505 00:15:10,119 --> 00:15:12,658 Uhhh, looks like just under five hundo. 506 00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:15,764 [radio] Say again please: did you say Five-Zero-Zero? 507 00:15:15,764 --> 00:15:16,866 Affirmative. We're good. 508 00:15:16,866 --> 00:15:19,471 Got five hundred liter... quarts... 509 00:15:19,471 --> 00:15:20,473 got five hundred. 510 00:15:20,641 --> 00:15:21,977 We got five hundred fuels. 511 00:15:21,977 --> 00:15:22,878 Dear God, 512 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,616 this moron is five minutes away 513 00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,051 from being a hang glider. 514 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,621 Okay listen, pal. 515 00:15:27,621 --> 00:15:29,892 You need to land this thing now! 516 00:15:29,892 --> 00:15:32,430 Confirm auto-land is engaged. 517 00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,635 - Negative tower. We're doing it live. 518 00:15:34,635 --> 00:15:35,737 No you idiot! 519 00:15:35,737 --> 00:15:37,541 Knock it off with this cowboy crap. 520 00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:40,280 - Tower this is 179er requesting permission to speak 521 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,883 to someone a little more professional. 522 00:15:41,883 --> 00:15:42,283 Gah! 523 00:15:42,283 --> 00:15:43,452 I gotta tell ya. 524 00:15:43,452 --> 00:15:44,154 I've dealt with a lot of 525 00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:45,790 jackass pilots before, 526 00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:46,593 but this guy... 527 00:15:46,593 --> 00:15:47,928 this guy is impossible. 528 00:15:47,929 --> 00:15:49,131 He won't listen to me. 529 00:15:49,131 --> 00:15:51,368 But he might listen to him. 530 00:15:51,503 --> 00:15:53,338 [dramatic music] 531 00:15:58,048 --> 00:15:59,216 [radio] Hey Mark. 532 00:15:59,217 --> 00:15:59,919 Hank? 533 00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:00,486 Is that you? 534 00:16:00,621 --> 00:16:02,257 I thought you were on the plane. 535 00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:02,791 Nah. 536 00:16:02,791 --> 00:16:03,927 Long story. 537 00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:05,665 - Yo guess what I'm doing right now?! 538 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,800 Uh... flying a plane? 539 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,102 - Oh yeah baby. 540 00:16:08,102 --> 00:16:09,539 - Flying a plane. 541 00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:10,873 - No big deal. Ahhh. 542 00:16:10,874 --> 00:16:11,776 Who is this guy? 543 00:16:11,776 --> 00:16:12,443 His brother. 544 00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:13,947 Says he's got over a hundred hours 545 00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:15,283 in the cockpit with the guy. 546 00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:17,320 Alright tell him he's approaching fuel exhaustion 547 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,658 and he must land the plane ASAP. 548 00:16:19,658 --> 00:16:21,094 Okay uh, 549 00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,332 Mark, they're saying your fuel's real tired 550 00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:25,971 and you gotta land the plane AARP. 551 00:16:25,971 --> 00:16:27,073 Oh my god. 552 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,543 Just maybe... just do it your way. 553 00:16:28,543 --> 00:16:29,377 Okay, 554 00:16:29,378 --> 00:16:30,379 okay yeah. 555 00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:31,716 Okay Mark, 556 00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:32,384 you got this. 557 00:16:32,384 --> 00:16:34,053 Just like we're in the garage. 558 00:16:34,053 --> 00:16:36,057 Hold on. What do you mean by “garage ”? 559 00:16:36,058 --> 00:16:37,728 Oh it's the room where you park your car. 560 00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:39,531 No I know what a damn garage is. 561 00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:42,103 What do you mean you want him to land the plane 562 00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:44,576 “just like we're in the garage ”" 563 00:16:44,576 --> 00:16:45,243 What does that mean? 564 00:16:45,511 --> 00:16:47,815 Oh that's where he sets up his simulator. 565 00:16:47,815 --> 00:16:48,817 Simulator?! 566 00:16:49,251 --> 00:16:52,323 Does he have any experience flying a real plane? 567 00:16:52,658 --> 00:16:53,560 I mean... 568 00:16:53,693 --> 00:16:55,029 he does now. 569 00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:59,538 Are you fricken' kidding me?!?! 570 00:16:59,538 --> 00:17:01,141 Did you do this?! 571 00:17:01,142 --> 00:17:02,376 Yeah. Do you like it? 572 00:17:02,376 --> 00:17:04,715 I think it compliments your ugly attitude. 573 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,555 Oh I'll beat your ass, bitch. 574 00:17:07,555 --> 00:17:10,760 Yeah yeah. Can you at least wait until after this dance scene? 575 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:13,800 [cracking knuckles] 576 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:16,606 I need all emergency vehicles standing by. 577 00:17:16,973 --> 00:17:19,277 He's lined up and his altitude looks good. 578 00:17:19,545 --> 00:17:22,083 You know he might actually pull this off. 579 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,285 You got this Mark. 580 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,758 So uh, you gonna do your signature move? 581 00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:26,626 What does that mean? 582 00:17:26,626 --> 00:17:27,293 Yeah I don't know Hank, 583 00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:28,630 I'm trying to give the passengers 584 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:29,732 a smooth landing here. 585 00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:31,001 Hold on, what does that mean, 586 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:31,937 signature move? 587 00:17:32,104 --> 00:17:34,508 Oh, uh, right before landing he does a barrel roll. 588 00:17:34,508 --> 00:17:35,409 Oh man-- 589 00:17:35,544 --> 00:17:38,717 That might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 590 00:17:38,717 --> 00:17:39,418 Uh no. 591 00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:41,422 Actually it's very cool. You wanna see it? 592 00:17:41,422 --> 00:17:42,558 [radio] Don't even think about it. 593 00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,494 Too late. Already thinking about it. 594 00:17:44,494 --> 00:17:44,929 Buddy, 595 00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:50,774 you absolutely “cannot do a barrel roll 596 00:17:50,774 --> 00:17:53,011 on a commercial airline ”. 597 00:17:53,011 --> 00:17:54,348 Maybe you can't, 598 00:17:54,481 --> 00:17:55,283 but I can. 599 00:17:55,383 --> 00:17:56,786 I've actually done it a bunch of times. 600 00:17:56,786 --> 00:17:58,122 I even once did it on a blimp. 601 00:17:58,122 --> 00:18:00,026 Oh my god, oh my god. 602 00:18:00,026 --> 00:18:01,028 Uh... I wouldn't push him... 603 00:18:01,028 --> 00:18:02,130 Listen pal! 604 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:05,336 I don't care what you do in your garage 605 00:18:05,336 --> 00:18:06,772 but this is real life. 606 00:18:07,006 --> 00:18:10,212 There are actual lives at stake. Okay? 607 00:18:10,312 --> 00:18:12,050 This isn't your stupid video game. 608 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,653 Okay pal well listen up. 609 00:18:13,653 --> 00:18:14,922 It ain't a video game. 610 00:18:14,922 --> 00:18:16,390 It's a simulation. 611 00:18:16,391 --> 00:18:16,893 Hank, 612 00:18:17,193 --> 00:18:18,630 we're doing a barrel roll. 613 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:19,966 Oh my god 614 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,535 they're all gonna die. 615 00:18:22,938 --> 00:18:25,076 [shuffling footsteps] 616 00:18:25,544 --> 00:18:26,412 [radio] Ladies and gentleman, 617 00:18:26,513 --> 00:18:28,617 this is your captain Mark Hoagies speaking. 618 00:18:28,617 --> 00:18:30,921 We're gonna be doin' an emergency landing today. 619 00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:31,756 No big deal. 620 00:18:31,990 --> 00:18:34,060 The weather in Philadelphia is probably the same 621 00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:35,597 as when we left twenty minutes ago. 622 00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:38,301 But don't worry-- I got a special treat for youse all. 623 00:18:38,302 --> 00:18:40,205 Might want to have your phones ready 624 00:18:40,205 --> 00:18:42,578 because this landing is gonna be memorable. 625 00:18:42,578 --> 00:18:43,546 Oh my god... 626 00:18:44,848 --> 00:18:46,452 What-- are you afraid of me? 627 00:18:46,452 --> 00:18:46,953 No, 628 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,690 but I'm afraid of my husband 629 00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:49,925 flying this plane. 630 00:18:50,794 --> 00:18:54,167 [dramatic music] 631 00:18:59,778 --> 00:19:01,313 Ugh this sucks. 632 00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,318 How much longer do we have to walk? 633 00:19:03,318 --> 00:19:04,989 We're not walking. We're hiking. 634 00:19:04,989 --> 00:19:05,990 Hiking is stupid. 635 00:19:05,990 --> 00:19:07,227 Well too bad. 636 00:19:07,227 --> 00:19:09,130 You know, I tried taking you for treats 637 00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:10,499 and you almost ruined my life. 638 00:19:10,499 --> 00:19:13,238 Then I brought you to the park and you kicked a duck. 639 00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:15,209 I didn't kick it. I yeeted it. 640 00:19:15,209 --> 00:19:16,778 How about you just give us our phones back 641 00:19:16,779 --> 00:19:18,883 and we'll just lie and say we had a good time? 642 00:19:18,883 --> 00:19:19,885 Everybody wins. 643 00:19:19,885 --> 00:19:20,987 No way Jose. 644 00:19:20,987 --> 00:19:22,423 We're doing this above board. 645 00:19:22,423 --> 00:19:24,995 Well, enjoy wearing condoms for the rest of your life. 646 00:19:24,995 --> 00:19:27,099 What!? I don't... always have to... 647 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,670 I'm not having this conversation with you. 648 00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:30,640 Maybe if you stopped treating us like babies 649 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,410 we could actually connect in a meaningful way. 650 00:19:32,511 --> 00:19:33,780 Okay. You know what? Great. 651 00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:35,817 You want to have a mature conversation? 652 00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:36,418 Let's do it. 653 00:19:36,418 --> 00:19:37,286 Why doesn't Aunt Andrea 654 00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:38,254 want to have kids with you? 655 00:19:38,255 --> 00:19:39,859 Ah... Wow. Um... 656 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:44,502 she is just on a different timetable. 657 00:19:44,502 --> 00:19:46,370 Sounds a lot like you never had sex. 658 00:19:46,371 --> 00:19:47,808 Isn't she like 45? 659 00:19:47,808 --> 00:19:49,712 She's probably already having menopause. 660 00:19:49,712 --> 00:19:51,815 Why are you so obsessed with having kids anyway? 661 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,254 Do you think it's going to fix your marriage problems? 662 00:19:54,254 --> 00:19:56,157 Okay, you know what?! I can't with you two. 663 00:19:56,157 --> 00:19:57,695 Here, take your stupid phones. 664 00:19:57,695 --> 00:20:00,299 Now I get why your mom lets you have them all the time. 665 00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:02,470 Try to do something right... 666 00:20:03,639 --> 00:20:05,744 Woaaaaahhhhh! 667 00:20:05,744 --> 00:20:06,445 Did you see that? 668 00:20:06,713 --> 00:20:08,448 No, I was on my phone-- wait what'd I miss? 669 00:20:08,448 --> 00:20:10,152 The coolest thing I've ever seen! 670 00:20:10,152 --> 00:20:11,021 Did you get it on video? 671 00:20:11,021 --> 00:20:11,656 Let me see. 672 00:20:11,656 --> 00:20:12,323 Nah. 673 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,294 We just kinda experienced it IRL. 674 00:20:14,294 --> 00:20:16,198 And you know, it was pretty sweet. 675 00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:17,033 Yeah, 676 00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:18,401 thanks Uncle David. 677 00:20:22,644 --> 00:20:25,650 [dramatic music] 678 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:31,963 Aw yeah. 679 00:20:31,963 --> 00:20:32,831 Nailed it. 680 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,503 Nailed it. 681 00:20:44,054 --> 00:20:45,055 I mean let's be real okay, 682 00:20:45,055 --> 00:20:46,491 if you're allergic to peanuts 683 00:20:46,491 --> 00:20:47,928 you gotta announce that to the cabin. 684 00:20:47,928 --> 00:20:49,164 I mean, that's just pilot error. 685 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:49,832 Okay Mark. 686 00:20:50,099 --> 00:20:52,336 But luckily, my little “video game ” 687 00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:54,509 saved the lives of two hundred people, so. 688 00:20:54,509 --> 00:20:56,613 Yeah and put you on the “no fly list. ” 689 00:20:56,613 --> 00:20:59,083 Small price to pay for being a hero. 690 00:20:59,083 --> 00:20:59,952 I hear that. 691 00:20:59,952 --> 00:21:01,254 I hope Uncle Kenny isn't mad 692 00:21:01,254 --> 00:21:02,657 we missed his funeral. 693 00:21:04,093 --> 00:21:04,828 [beep, beep, beep] 694 00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:05,898 Oh come on $15?! 695 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,366 How are they gonna charge for parking!? 696 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:08,636 We didn't even get to Florida! 697 00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:10,807 [music] 698 00:21:13,212 --> 00:21:14,815 Uh, what are you doing? 699 00:21:16,117 --> 00:21:17,787 Hank, you thinking what I'm thinking? 700 00:21:17,787 --> 00:21:21,094 That condiments should be packed in a clear plastic bag? 701 00:21:21,194 --> 00:21:22,062 No, Hank-- 702 00:21:22,998 --> 00:21:24,000 BARREL ROLL! 703 00:21:24,234 --> 00:21:26,872 [action music]