1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:05,143 The cicadas buzzed as Mama Tess scrubbed my shoulders. 2 00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:08,150 I watched the dirty water run over cuts and scrapes 3 00:00:08,283 --> 00:00:10,655 on my weary ebony skin. 4 00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:12,859 I thought of the scars on Mama Tess's back-" 5 00:00:12,859 --> 00:00:14,162 Okay, David. 6 00:00:14,162 --> 00:00:15,598 Why don't we stop there? 7 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,900 What? I just started. 8 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,170 I know I just... 9 00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:21,543 I'm not sure it's appropriate for you 10 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,783 to be writing in the voice of a young slave girl. 11 00:00:24,783 --> 00:00:26,285 But I did a ton of research. 12 00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:27,923 I've been working on this for months. 13 00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:28,858 I'm sorry, 14 00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:31,162 I just don't think this is your story to tell. 15 00:00:31,296 --> 00:00:33,300 I mean... I wouldn't play her in the movie. 16 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,270 Alright, why don't we stop here for the day? 17 00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:36,574 Oh, and some exciting news, 18 00:00:36,574 --> 00:00:39,144 Yael Golding will be attending next week's reading. 19 00:00:39,144 --> 00:00:40,313 Yael Golding!? 20 00:00:40,313 --> 00:00:42,018 She's like my favorite living author! 21 00:00:42,018 --> 00:00:43,319 And now I've got nothing! 22 00:00:43,319 --> 00:00:45,023 Oh, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote 23 00:00:45,190 --> 00:00:47,028 Jekyll and Hyde in three days. 24 00:00:47,028 --> 00:00:49,032 I'm sure you'll come up with something. 25 00:00:49,032 --> 00:00:49,900 Ugh. 26 00:00:53,707 --> 00:00:54,776 Gah! 27 00:00:55,578 --> 00:00:59,085 Yo, looks like they're finally replacing the uh... 28 00:00:59,085 --> 00:01:01,089 the infrastructure pipes. 29 00:01:01,089 --> 00:01:02,024 - You excited? - No. 30 00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:04,461 I've got three days to write a masterpiece from scratch 31 00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:06,533 but it's impossible with all this racket! 32 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,201 You know David, 33 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:07,936 if you're looking for a 34 00:01:08,036 --> 00:01:08,738 nice quiet place to work, 35 00:01:09,105 --> 00:01:11,677 my Uncle Kenny's actually got a nice little cabin 36 00:01:11,677 --> 00:01:12,612 up in the Poconos. 37 00:01:12,813 --> 00:01:14,315 You're totally welcome to go up there for the weekend. 38 00:01:14,315 --> 00:01:16,821 Oh, thanks, but I just wouldn't want to, 39 00:01:16,821 --> 00:01:18,356 you know, impose on your Uncle... 40 00:01:18,356 --> 00:01:20,695 Nah it's all good don't worry about it he's dead. 41 00:01:20,695 --> 00:01:21,863 Ah. I'm s-- what? 42 00:01:21,863 --> 00:01:24,068 I'm telling you you're gonna love this place dude. 43 00:01:24,068 --> 00:01:25,370 It's nice and secluded, 44 00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:27,709 you got the pine trees everywhere, 45 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,244 you got the rustic charm... 46 00:01:29,244 --> 00:01:31,116 And it's not like some Hoagies 47 00:01:31,116 --> 00:01:32,819 "Deliverance" type thing up there? 48 00:01:32,819 --> 00:01:34,121 Nah, nah, nah my inbred cousins, 49 00:01:34,121 --> 00:01:35,692 they live in the Pine Barrens. 50 00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:36,594 Ah. 51 00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:47,414 Ugh. 52 00:01:55,732 --> 00:01:58,604 Hm... not too shabby, Mark... 53 00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:01,544 Alright. Here we go... just let it flow. 54 00:02:01,777 --> 00:02:04,983 Oh this place is cute, Mark! 55 00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:06,285 What with the logs and all, 56 00:02:06,285 --> 00:02:08,489 - I love it. - I know! It's classic, right? 57 00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:10,861 You've gotta be kidding me... 58 00:02:12,431 --> 00:02:14,970 ♪ Well, I used to work at a hot dog factory. ♪ 59 00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:17,007 ♪ Until them robots came along. ♪ 60 00:02:17,141 --> 00:02:18,510 ♪ And now there is no job for me ♪ 61 00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:21,149 ♪ But I get 3,000 bucks a month ♪ 62 00:02:21,149 --> 00:02:25,257 ♪ Thanks to UBI 63 00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:29,265 ♪ Now we're Universal Basic Guys. ♪ 64 00:02:29,265 --> 00:02:31,135 ♪ It may not sound like much. ♪ 65 00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:34,275 ♪ But we're still gonna try ♪ 66 00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:39,351 ♪ We're just Universal Basic Guys ♪ 67 00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:47,034 Yo that spot right there is where the gerbil exploded! 68 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:47,702 Oh... 69 00:02:47,869 --> 00:02:49,573 Oh man we got so many memories here. 70 00:02:49,573 --> 00:02:52,011 I can't wait for you guys to experience all the traditions. 71 00:02:52,011 --> 00:02:53,981 Ooh maybe we can go snowshoeing... 72 00:02:53,981 --> 00:02:56,653 Okay well hold on there's like a whole itinerary here Tam. 73 00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:58,056 Yo Jinglebells! 74 00:02:58,056 --> 00:02:59,058 You finish your book? 75 00:02:59,058 --> 00:03:00,193 I've been here thirty minutes... 76 00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:01,898 I didn't realize you were also gonna be here. 77 00:03:01,898 --> 00:03:03,433 Ah you know it baby! 78 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:07,074 So you excited for the classic Mark Hoagies Poconos Weekend? 79 00:03:07,074 --> 00:03:09,078 What? No. I came here to write. 80 00:03:09,078 --> 00:03:09,880 Exactly. 81 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,817 We're gonna give you a ton of material. 82 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,186 We're a buncha goofballs. 83 00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:14,889 - Yeah that's not what I- - Ah don't worry, David. 84 00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:16,827 We'll be out of your hair and on the slopes. 85 00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:17,629 Ah okay, 86 00:03:17,829 --> 00:03:19,198 so you're gonna be skiing the whole weekend? 87 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,333 I'll be skiing. 88 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,037 Mark and Hank are going sledding. 89 00:03:22,037 --> 00:03:23,841 Uh, snow tubing! Totally different. 90 00:03:23,841 --> 00:03:26,680 Come on. Snow tubing is just for people who can't ski. 91 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:27,348 Woah woah woah. 92 00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:28,918 I know how to ski, okay. 93 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:29,853 I just prefer snow tubing. 94 00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:32,592 Mark gets a little insecure that his wife does black diamonds 95 00:03:32,592 --> 00:03:33,928 while he's on the bunny slopes. 96 00:03:34,061 --> 00:03:35,063 Aw that's ridiculous. 97 00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:37,802 Snow tubing is a Hoagies Poconos tradition! 98 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:38,469 Okay great. 99 00:03:38,671 --> 00:03:40,373 Well Darren and I are going skiing, 100 00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:41,744 maybe get some hot chocolate... 101 00:03:41,744 --> 00:03:44,114 Mom, I said I don't want to go skiing. 102 00:03:44,114 --> 00:03:46,252 Hell yeah. Team tubing. Let's go Dar! 103 00:03:46,252 --> 00:03:48,356 Uh... no I'm not tubing either. 104 00:03:48,356 --> 00:03:50,227 Oh come on Darren. What kid doesn't want to go 105 00:03:50,227 --> 00:03:51,362 super fast down a mountain 106 00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:52,164 in an inner tube? 107 00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:54,001 Do you like consciously make an effort 108 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,839 to not know anything about me? 109 00:03:55,839 --> 00:03:57,274 Please go Darren. 110 00:03:58,745 --> 00:04:00,346 Oooh you're an ugly one. You're an ugly one. 111 00:04:00,346 --> 00:04:02,217 Come and get it. Ooh, eat it! 112 00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:04,657 Yeah you like that!? Bee-yotch! 113 00:04:04,757 --> 00:04:07,227 Fricken skiing elitist Tammy wants to belittle 114 00:04:07,394 --> 00:04:09,766 a time-honored Hoagies tradition like snow tubing? 115 00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:13,106 Pfft, wait until we tell her we did a double black diamond. 116 00:04:13,106 --> 00:04:14,843 Uh... you sure about this Mark? 117 00:04:14,843 --> 00:04:15,545 Uh yes, Hank. 118 00:04:15,645 --> 00:04:17,414 If anything this is probably safer. 119 00:04:17,414 --> 00:04:18,316 I mean you're in an inflated tube. 120 00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:20,855 You're basically riding an airbag down the mountain. 121 00:04:20,855 --> 00:04:21,723 Excuse me? 122 00:04:21,723 --> 00:04:22,424 What's up chief? 123 00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:24,529 No inner tubes on the ski slopes. 124 00:04:24,529 --> 00:04:26,032 Okay well that's discrimination. 125 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,668 How is that discrimination? 126 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,639 The mountain is for everyone, 127 00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:32,244 it shouldn't matter what equipment we choose to love, 128 00:04:32,244 --> 00:04:34,148 we all share the same gravity. 129 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:34,516 Enough. 130 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,920 If we hit a tree, do we not bleed? 131 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,125 Can I get security to the top of Pine Run? 132 00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:40,460 Hank! Go go go go go!!! 133 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,135 Here we go duuuuuude. 134 00:04:44,135 --> 00:04:45,572 Cancel that. Can I get the coroner 135 00:04:45,572 --> 00:04:47,440 to the bottom of Pine Run? 136 00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:51,015 Mmm. 137 00:04:54,589 --> 00:04:57,027 Oh my god! The hell!? 138 00:04:57,662 --> 00:04:58,396 Nailed it. 139 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:00,568 Yes? 140 00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:02,873 Uh, would you mind putting headphones on? 141 00:05:02,873 --> 00:05:03,541 Why? 142 00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:04,910 Well, it's a little hard to write with you 143 00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:08,183 blasting this active shooter game or whatever this is. 144 00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:09,418 It's a zombie game, David. 145 00:05:09,418 --> 00:05:12,057 Well can't you play Sudoku or something? 146 00:05:14,061 --> 00:05:15,063 Thank you. 147 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:17,602 No Tammy! 148 00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:19,606 ] What it is, is discrimination. 149 00:05:19,606 --> 00:05:21,442 We should be filing a lawsuit against them! 150 00:05:21,442 --> 00:05:23,179 No! Come onnnn. 151 00:05:23,479 --> 00:05:25,818 Stupid idea to come here, so stupid. 152 00:05:25,818 --> 00:05:26,485 Hey, there David. 153 00:05:26,653 --> 00:05:28,190 You wanna play some games with us? 154 00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:28,624 No. 155 00:05:28,858 --> 00:05:30,193 What happened to ski tubing? 156 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:30,995 Oh, 157 00:05:31,329 --> 00:05:33,634 Shaun White Hoagies over there got us banned. 158 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,171 Well maybe there's another mountain that's like... 159 00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,340 open all night. 160 00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:39,211 Nah. Storm's already started. 161 00:05:39,211 --> 00:05:40,681 Wait... storm!? 162 00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:43,787 Oh no. 163 00:05:43,787 --> 00:05:46,091 No! Ughhhh. 164 00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:47,729 Okay, 165 00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:50,234 let the Board Game Olympics begin! 166 00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:51,670 Hank, hit it. 167 00:05:53,607 --> 00:05:54,910 Do I have to do this? 168 00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:55,845 Darren you know, I was really hoping to make 169 00:05:56,179 --> 00:05:59,351 one of those viral videos where the stepdad surprises the kid 170 00:05:59,351 --> 00:06:01,021 with adoption papers but first 171 00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:03,360 I'm gonna need you to at least try and make an effort here. 172 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,227 I'm going upstairs. 173 00:06:04,227 --> 00:06:05,363 Oh c'mon, Dar. 174 00:06:05,363 --> 00:06:06,667 Why don't we play something together. 175 00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:07,466 I don't want to play with you guys. 176 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,506 You just end up arguing the whole time. 177 00:06:09,506 --> 00:06:12,077 Oh that's not true. We're having fun! 178 00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:12,645 Right, Mark? 179 00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:15,383 100%. In fact, it's time for our first event: 180 00:06:15,383 --> 00:06:17,254 Extreme Ball Blasters. 181 00:06:17,254 --> 00:06:19,191 That's not a board game. That's a toy. 182 00:06:19,191 --> 00:06:21,062 What are you talking about!? It's a game and there's a board. 183 00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,199 You just shoot metal balls at each other! -See? 184 00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:26,405 Alright alright fine, okay. We'll skip to the second event: 185 00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:27,273 Wienerland. 186 00:06:27,273 --> 00:06:28,075 Oh hell yeah. 187 00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:30,179 Oh come on. That game is all luck. 188 00:06:30,179 --> 00:06:32,518 Ooh that's not true, Tam. You gotta know all the colors. 189 00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,656 Why can't we just play a mature board game, 190 00:06:34,656 --> 00:06:35,824 like Scrabble here? 191 00:06:35,991 --> 00:06:37,962 Tam nobody here plays that. That's like decoration. 192 00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,532 Yeah right. You're just saying that 193 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,635 'cause I'm gonna mop the floor with yous. 194 00:06:41,636 --> 00:06:42,939 Where's all the letter tiles? 195 00:06:42,939 --> 00:06:45,243 Oh Hank flushed them down the toilet years ago. 196 00:06:45,243 --> 00:06:46,914 Why on Earth would you do that Hank? 197 00:06:46,914 --> 00:06:49,753 Oh I was trying to send a message to the Ninja Turtles. 198 00:06:49,753 --> 00:06:50,688 Uh huh... 199 00:06:50,922 --> 00:06:53,426 Well there's gotta be some good board games somewhere. 200 00:06:53,426 --> 00:06:54,563 I'm gonna check the cellar. 201 00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:56,132 I wouldn't do that, Tam. 202 00:06:56,132 --> 00:06:57,301 What do you mean? Why not? 203 00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:58,570 It's just... you know... we... 204 00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:00,007 we don't really go in the cellar. 205 00:07:00,007 --> 00:07:00,675 It's kind of a house rule. 206 00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:02,679 Since when do you care about rules? 207 00:07:02,679 --> 00:07:04,549 Well there's just certain important rules 208 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,687 that we respect and one of them is, you know: 209 00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,322 we do “not ” go in the creepy cellar. 210 00:07:08,322 --> 00:07:09,559 Are you scared of the cellar? 211 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,995 Oh get outta here. That's ridiculous. 212 00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,066 - Afraid of the cellar-- - Oh my god. You are. 213 00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,435 You so are. 214 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:15,871 Well I'm going down there. 215 00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:30,300 "Witch Trials." 216 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,803 Oooh. Baby. 217 00:07:32,471 --> 00:07:34,174 Look what I found. Hehehe. 218 00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:35,811 Absolutely not. 219 00:07:35,811 --> 00:07:36,479 Hard no! 220 00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:38,049 Ooh that's the forbidden game. 221 00:07:38,049 --> 00:07:39,351 The forbidden game? 222 00:07:39,351 --> 00:07:40,854 Uncle Kenny was very clear: 223 00:07:40,854 --> 00:07:41,990 we're not allowed to play that. 224 00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:43,727 You do realize you're adults now. 225 00:07:43,727 --> 00:07:45,598 Okay I gotta be honest, Tam. 226 00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,367 You're really throwing off the vibes here. 227 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,469 I'm trying to show you and Darren 228 00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:49,840 my most cherished family traditions 229 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,142 and you're just fully going rogue. 230 00:07:51,142 --> 00:07:53,714 Mark, not everyone has fun the same way you do. 231 00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:55,918 God forbid we do something I wanna do. 232 00:07:57,956 --> 00:07:58,590 Oh boy. Here we go. 233 00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,093 Uh, what's goin on? 234 00:08:00,093 --> 00:08:01,963 What the hell? 235 00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:03,667 Woah. 236 00:08:06,205 --> 00:08:07,541 Woah there. 237 00:08:12,785 --> 00:08:16,092 Welcome... to the witch trials! 238 00:08:16,092 --> 00:08:18,096 - What? - Oh my God. 239 00:08:18,229 --> 00:08:19,398 Welp. Great job, Tam. 240 00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:21,703 Now we've got a fricken Jumanji situation. 241 00:08:24,075 --> 00:08:25,041 Yo, 242 00:08:25,042 --> 00:08:27,615 is this like some sort of immersive AR thing? 243 00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,619 Nah nah Dar, this is an old-school, 244 00:08:29,619 --> 00:08:31,388 classic magical game. 245 00:08:31,388 --> 00:08:32,290 You see back in the old days, 246 00:08:32,390 --> 00:08:34,395 if you wanted to have an immersive experience, 247 00:08:34,395 --> 00:08:36,399 you had to play a magical forbidden game. 248 00:08:36,399 --> 00:08:38,269 Uh, did you know this was gonna happen? 249 00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:39,505 Pfft I mean I had an idea... 250 00:08:39,639 --> 00:08:41,376 Why didn't you say something!? 251 00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:43,379 Tammy, it's a creepy game 252 00:08:43,379 --> 00:08:45,518 in my creepy uncle's creepy cellar. 253 00:08:45,518 --> 00:08:46,887 The hell did you think was gonna happen? 254 00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:47,822 Not this!? 255 00:08:48,022 --> 00:08:49,959 Well, you should have stuck to the itinerary. 256 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:52,832 Your attention, please as I explain the rules. 257 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,936 You have one simple objective. 258 00:08:54,936 --> 00:08:58,544 These four women are on trial for witchcraft. 259 00:08:58,544 --> 00:09:02,785 Your team must decide which... is the witch! 260 00:09:02,785 --> 00:09:05,123 I mean I think I've got a pretty good idea here. 261 00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:06,559 You're going down, Tam. 262 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:07,929 Hah, no chance. 263 00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:11,168 You forget I got a PhD in true crime. 264 00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:14,241 In order to determine who the witch is 265 00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:17,180 you'll need to question various townspeople. 266 00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,684 Ugh! Skip. Skip. 267 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:19,686 Is there a skip button? 268 00:09:19,686 --> 00:09:20,988 Knock it off, will ya? 269 00:09:20,988 --> 00:09:23,425 You only get five questions per turn, 270 00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:25,063 so consult with your teammates... 271 00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,566 Okay and I'm out. 272 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,568 Oh come on, Dar. 273 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,539 The guy said it's a team strategy game. 274 00:09:29,539 --> 00:09:31,041 We can't agree on anything. 275 00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:31,843 It's hopeless. 276 00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:33,848 Therefore, I forfeit. Ah! 277 00:09:33,848 --> 00:09:36,920 There's no quitting in a game of life or death. 278 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,024 MWUHAHAHAH! 279 00:09:39,024 --> 00:09:40,928 Life or death!? 280 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,336 Uh... Mark? Are we expecting someone? 281 00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:46,906 Hank, get the door, please. 282 00:09:48,844 --> 00:09:52,283 Hello, there. I live next door, I thought I'd pop on over, 283 00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:54,288 see if you wanted me to plow your driveway. 284 00:09:54,288 --> 00:09:57,728 Ooooh. Are you playing one of Kenny's magical games!? 285 00:09:57,728 --> 00:10:00,032 I always wanted to play but he'd never let me. 286 00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:02,070 Oh, well you should come play. 287 00:10:02,070 --> 00:10:03,205 Oh thanks! 288 00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:04,007 What's the game? 289 00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:05,878 It's real easy. You just gotta like 290 00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,748 figure out which one's the witch or something. 291 00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:09,886 Oh... I bet it's the black girl. 292 00:10:09,886 --> 00:10:11,321 Okay, that's a little racist. 293 00:10:11,455 --> 00:10:13,627 Is that your official accusation? 294 00:10:13,627 --> 00:10:14,629 Eh, sure. 295 00:10:14,629 --> 00:10:15,631 Incorrect! 296 00:10:15,631 --> 00:10:17,334 Arrrrrghhhhhhh! 297 00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:18,703 Yo, what? 298 00:10:20,206 --> 00:10:21,977 Oh. My. God. 299 00:10:21,977 --> 00:10:23,079 He's... 300 00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:24,882 he's gonna respawn, right? 301 00:10:24,882 --> 00:10:26,452 Shouldn't have skipped the rules. 302 00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:30,895 Only the Jury Foreman can make official accusations. 303 00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:32,532 Who's the jury foreman? 304 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,265 You! 305 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,604 Okay I'll admit. 306 00:10:35,604 --> 00:10:37,742 Got Darren in the old timey wig there. 307 00:10:37,742 --> 00:10:38,409 That's pretty funny. 308 00:10:38,577 --> 00:10:40,915 Mark! We need to take this seriously! 309 00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:42,618 Don't look at me, I mean you're the one 310 00:10:42,618 --> 00:10:44,488 who haaaad to play the fricken forbidden game. 311 00:10:44,488 --> 00:10:45,356 I warned you dude. 312 00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:46,693 Ugh. 313 00:10:48,262 --> 00:10:48,798 Woah... 314 00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:51,235 uh..okay. Are you a ghost? 315 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:52,370 Am I having a stroke? 316 00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,040 Is this like a Shining thing? 317 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,876 No. I just want to explore a bit 318 00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:57,815 before I get sucked back into the game again. 319 00:10:57,815 --> 00:11:00,120 Okay... so I am hallucinating. 320 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:00,822 Oh man. 321 00:11:00,988 --> 00:11:02,191 I have such a low reishi tolerance. 322 00:11:02,191 --> 00:11:03,928 So why aren't you out there playing the game? 323 00:11:04,061 --> 00:11:07,702 Well I have to write a novella from scratch in three days 324 00:11:07,702 --> 00:11:09,773 which is why I came up here in the first place, 325 00:11:09,773 --> 00:11:11,075 so I could be alone 326 00:11:11,075 --> 00:11:13,647 and of course the fricken idiot brigade 327 00:11:13,647 --> 00:11:15,551 just shows up and I can't focus. 328 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,289 Why is God so mean to me?! 329 00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:19,659 Sounds rough. 330 00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:21,530 Ugh. You don't even know the half of it. 331 00:11:21,530 --> 00:11:23,165 Anyway, what's your deal? 332 00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:24,301 I'm a slave. 333 00:11:24,301 --> 00:11:25,170 Oh. 334 00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:25,838 Uh, 335 00:11:25,838 --> 00:11:27,174 sorry to hear that... 336 00:11:27,174 --> 00:11:28,209 So you're a writer? 337 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,845 I actually taught myself how to read. 338 00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:32,417 That's why everyone in the village thinks I'm a witch. 339 00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:33,218 Interesting... 340 00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:35,089 you know, I'd actually be curious 341 00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:36,726 to get your thoughts on something... 342 00:11:36,726 --> 00:11:38,931 I think you're gonna like it. 343 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,270 Okay, big money, big money no whammies. 344 00:11:42,270 --> 00:11:43,138 Boom! 345 00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:47,447 You may ask the reverend five questions. 346 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,951 Okay. Watch and learn. 347 00:11:48,951 --> 00:11:51,321 Hun, remember, we're a team. 348 00:11:51,321 --> 00:11:52,457 How we doin' pal? 349 00:11:52,457 --> 00:11:53,326 Fine. 350 00:11:53,326 --> 00:11:54,461 Can I ask you a question? 351 00:11:54,461 --> 00:11:54,962 Sure. 352 00:11:55,096 --> 00:11:56,833 Three questions remaining. 353 00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:58,837 Stop wasting questions! 354 00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:00,473 Okay level with me here, Father. 355 00:12:00,574 --> 00:12:02,210 Yo she's a witch, right? 356 00:12:02,210 --> 00:12:02,712 Probably. 357 00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:04,347 Boom. There it is. 358 00:12:04,347 --> 00:12:05,350 He could be lying! 359 00:12:05,584 --> 00:12:07,020 You're not lying to me, are you pal? 360 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,024 No. I'm a man of god. 361 00:12:09,024 --> 00:12:10,894 Great, Tam. Now I look like a jerk. 362 00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:12,598 One more question. 363 00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,769 Mark! Consult with your teammates. 364 00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:15,403 Trust me Tam, 365 00:12:15,705 --> 00:12:16,205 she's gotta be the witch. I mean the warts, 366 00:12:16,372 --> 00:12:18,109 the big nose. Look at that. 367 00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:19,979 That's like a classic witch right there okay? 368 00:12:19,979 --> 00:12:21,448 I'd like to solve the puzzle! 369 00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:22,752 Stop rushing. 370 00:12:22,752 --> 00:12:24,756 We just watched a guy burn to death. 371 00:12:24,756 --> 00:12:26,125 Well, maybe he'd be alive 372 00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:27,995 if we played Ball Blasters, okay? Just sayin'. 373 00:12:27,995 --> 00:12:30,867 Would you just ask him if he's seen anything suspicious. 374 00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:31,869 Tammy, you know, 375 00:12:32,203 --> 00:12:33,874 you've already hijacked our classic Poconos weekend 376 00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:35,310 and now you won't even let me do my turn. 377 00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,748 I will ask the questions, thank you very much. 378 00:12:37,748 --> 00:12:39,619 Father, let me ask you. Uh... 379 00:12:39,753 --> 00:12:41,623 you seen anything suspicious, or? 380 00:12:41,623 --> 00:12:42,390 Indeed. 381 00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:45,296 I witnessed Eleanor over there in the parish kitchen 382 00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:48,469 sprinkling eye of newt into a cauldron. 383 00:12:48,469 --> 00:12:49,606 Okay now that's a twist. 384 00:12:49,606 --> 00:12:51,041 You got the fricken lizard eyeballs? 385 00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:54,114 Yo that's a classic witch thing. It's gotta be the nun. 386 00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:56,920 Mark, this ain't newt eyes. 387 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:57,722 It's mustard seed. 388 00:12:58,022 --> 00:12:59,926 That's what they used to call it back in the day. 389 00:12:59,926 --> 00:13:02,230 I mean witches eat mustard too, Tam. 390 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,334 I'm gonna be honest, David. 391 00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:05,904 I can't even make it through this. 392 00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:08,342 What? Why not!? I did tons of research! 393 00:13:08,342 --> 00:13:10,781 Did you get to the part about Osnaburg fabric? 394 00:13:10,781 --> 00:13:13,419 I did yeah. That's definitely what we wear. 395 00:13:13,419 --> 00:13:14,220 Yes indeed. 396 00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:15,691 So, would you say it's authentic? 397 00:13:15,691 --> 00:13:16,559 I guess. 398 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:17,929 Haha! I did it! 399 00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:19,565 Suck it, writers group! 400 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:21,669 Edith? 401 00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:23,170 Okay, Mr. Blacksmith, 402 00:13:23,171 --> 00:13:27,147 have you ever seen any of these girls doing anything strange? 403 00:13:27,147 --> 00:13:27,782 Indeed. 404 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,419 The other day I saw Agnes behind the stables, 405 00:13:30,419 --> 00:13:31,455 kissing... a girl. 406 00:13:31,455 --> 00:13:33,661 Ohhh boy, that chick's definitely the witch. 407 00:13:33,661 --> 00:13:34,962 Kissing girls? I mean that's “Classic ” 408 00:13:34,962 --> 00:13:36,198 sexy witch stuff right there. 409 00:13:36,198 --> 00:13:38,069 It's just like that movie with Bette Midler 410 00:13:38,069 --> 00:13:38,771 where they all make out. 411 00:13:39,038 --> 00:13:41,409 What version of Hocus Pocus did you watch? 412 00:13:41,409 --> 00:13:42,545 I don't know what that is. 413 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:44,582 Three questions remaining. 414 00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:45,382 Ugh, Mark! 415 00:13:45,382 --> 00:13:47,087 Would you stop messin' up my turn? 416 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,957 Okay, Mr. Blacksmith, 417 00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:51,963 have you ever seen Margaret do anything strange? 418 00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:53,399 Never seen anything myself, 419 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,403 but you know she's always in a rotten mood. 420 00:13:55,403 --> 00:13:57,274 Yelling at her husband and what not. 421 00:13:59,111 --> 00:14:00,948 Ohh yeah, that's a witch alright! 422 00:14:00,948 --> 00:14:03,586 Can you tell me more about Margaret's husband? 423 00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:05,123 Oh, he's a real piece of work. 424 00:14:05,123 --> 00:14:07,493 Always running off doing crazy things with his brother, 425 00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:10,132 the village idiot. Heard he commandeered a horse 426 00:14:10,132 --> 00:14:12,704 and tried to make it do some sort of backflip maneuver. 427 00:14:12,704 --> 00:14:14,440 Said it was his "signature move." 428 00:14:15,009 --> 00:14:16,713 Guy sounds pretty cool actually. 429 00:14:16,713 --> 00:14:18,016 Yeah. 430 00:14:18,016 --> 00:14:20,587 Did this husband of hers ever check with his wife 431 00:14:20,587 --> 00:14:22,223 before he did these things? 432 00:14:22,223 --> 00:14:22,891 Nope. 433 00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:25,631 That was your final question. 434 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:26,632 Dammit, Tam. 435 00:14:29,873 --> 00:14:31,610 Hell yeah. Fourteen. 436 00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:33,546 You have rolled a 12. 437 00:14:33,546 --> 00:14:37,722 You have 60 seconds to question the Baker. 438 00:14:38,155 --> 00:14:40,995 Oooh what's that? Some kind of witch goo? 439 00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:42,363 Ooh good catch, dude. 440 00:14:42,363 --> 00:14:42,999 It's dough. 441 00:14:42,999 --> 00:14:45,169 Oh my god. Hank! C'mon. 442 00:14:45,169 --> 00:14:46,873 So you're telling me that blob right there 443 00:14:46,873 --> 00:14:48,242 is gonna become bread? 444 00:14:48,242 --> 00:14:48,877 Yes. 445 00:14:49,177 --> 00:14:50,548 Man. How far in the future do you live? 446 00:14:50,548 --> 00:14:54,287 Actually this game takes place 300 years in the past. 447 00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:56,760 Whoa. Now that's a twist. 448 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,163 Two questions remaining. 449 00:14:59,163 --> 00:15:01,301 Hank, let's work as a team here. 450 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,038 Okay. What should I ask? 451 00:15:03,038 --> 00:15:06,344 You should ask about the spell Agnes cast on my bread. 452 00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:07,280 Oh. Okay uh... 453 00:15:07,514 --> 00:15:10,019 so what kind of spell did Agnes cast on your bread? 454 00:15:10,019 --> 00:15:12,324 One day I caught her speaking in tongues. 455 00:15:12,324 --> 00:15:14,895 And it turned out she turned all my bread into crackers! 456 00:15:15,029 --> 00:15:16,365 Uh, witch alert! 457 00:15:16,365 --> 00:15:17,033 We're dead. 458 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:20,473 It's time to make your final accusation. 459 00:15:20,473 --> 00:15:23,045 You have two minutes to deliberate. 460 00:15:23,045 --> 00:15:25,083 The foreman makes the final decision. 461 00:15:25,083 --> 00:15:26,653 Choose carefully... 462 00:15:26,653 --> 00:15:28,289 or die! 463 00:15:28,422 --> 00:15:29,659 Muahahaha! 464 00:15:29,659 --> 00:15:31,161 Oh no. 465 00:15:36,071 --> 00:15:37,306 Oh there you are! Um... 466 00:15:37,306 --> 00:15:38,108 Can you just do me a quick favor? 467 00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:40,947 Can I just get a quick video of you saying 468 00:15:40,947 --> 00:15:43,954 that you found my novel like super authentic 469 00:15:43,954 --> 00:15:45,690 and powerful or whatever? 470 00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:46,526 Okay go. 471 00:15:46,526 --> 00:15:47,695 Uh... 472 00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:48,495 Wait what the hell? 473 00:15:48,495 --> 00:15:50,400 Why aren't you showing up on here?! 474 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:51,202 Damnit! 475 00:15:51,737 --> 00:15:54,576 I forgot you're just a fricken figment of my imagination. 476 00:15:54,576 --> 00:15:57,413 Ugh. Ugh. I'm screwed. 477 00:15:57,413 --> 00:16:00,152 I'm screwed!!! 478 00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:01,388 Alright team listen up, 479 00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:03,258 so they're obviously all witches. We agree. 480 00:16:03,258 --> 00:16:04,696 Let's do this. We're ready. 481 00:16:04,696 --> 00:16:05,396 Mark, no. 482 00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:06,700 Tam You gotta trust me on this one. 483 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,502 I got great witch-dar. 484 00:16:07,769 --> 00:16:09,470 When I watched Wizard of Oz for the first time, 485 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,107 I knew exactly who the witch was. 486 00:16:11,107 --> 00:16:12,041 I called it right off the bat. 487 00:16:12,042 --> 00:16:14,816 Uh her name was "The Wicked Witch of the West." 488 00:16:14,816 --> 00:16:15,817 Yeah but also the socks. 489 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,253 I mean come on. Tam, I know witches. Okay, 490 00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:18,355 I got witches in my family! 491 00:16:18,355 --> 00:16:20,226 Mark I think it's pretty obvious 492 00:16:20,226 --> 00:16:21,997 that the whole point of this game is that 493 00:16:21,997 --> 00:16:23,499 there are No Real Witches! 494 00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:26,004 It was just a bunch of ignorant, fearful people 495 00:16:26,004 --> 00:16:27,541 making baseless accusations. 496 00:16:27,541 --> 00:16:29,111 So how do you square that with the fact that 497 00:16:29,111 --> 00:16:30,881 all these women are obviously witches!? 498 00:16:30,881 --> 00:16:31,916 They're not witches! 499 00:16:31,916 --> 00:16:35,123 Eleanor was just making mustard and Agnes is gay. 500 00:16:35,123 --> 00:16:36,792 Yeah, but what about the bread spell? 501 00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:39,999 Speaking in tongues? Turning bread into crackers? 502 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,502 She's Jewish, Hank. 503 00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:43,105 Time's almost up. 504 00:16:43,105 --> 00:16:44,406 Tam, how are you gonna tell me 505 00:16:44,407 --> 00:16:46,277 that the fricken one with the warts is not a witch? 506 00:16:46,277 --> 00:16:47,982 I mean look, she's a classic fricken witch right there. 507 00:16:47,982 --> 00:16:50,521 Oh come on. She's obviously not a witch! 508 00:16:50,521 --> 00:16:53,158 She's just frustrated with her husband's reckless antics. 509 00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:54,862 Oh come on Tam that's ridiculous. 510 00:16:54,862 --> 00:16:55,864 Stop! Stop! 511 00:16:56,065 --> 00:16:58,169 I'm sick of you both arguing all the time. 512 00:16:58,169 --> 00:17:00,173 Thirty seconds remaining... 513 00:17:00,173 --> 00:17:02,043 Darren, now's not the time to get into this-- 514 00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:04,281 No. It's exactly the time to get into this 515 00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:06,786 because if you would both would just listen to each other, 516 00:17:06,786 --> 00:17:07,921 you could figure it out. 517 00:17:07,921 --> 00:17:08,856 I'm actually an excellent listener. 518 00:17:08,856 --> 00:17:11,161 I listen very long-form podcasts occasionally. 519 00:17:11,161 --> 00:17:12,831 You think they're literally all witches 520 00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:15,169 when Mom clearly showed you the evidence was bad. 521 00:17:15,169 --> 00:17:17,774 Exactly. None of 'em are witches. 522 00:17:17,774 --> 00:17:18,643 Tell 'em Dar. 523 00:17:18,643 --> 00:17:19,812 No. You're wrong, mom. 524 00:17:19,812 --> 00:17:22,316 What are you talking about!? You said it yourself. 525 00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,756 There's no witches. There's no magic! 526 00:17:24,756 --> 00:17:26,324 Except there is magic! 527 00:17:26,324 --> 00:17:28,462 It's literally a magical game. 528 00:17:28,462 --> 00:17:31,536 Which means it was made by a witch. 529 00:17:31,536 --> 00:17:33,907 5...4... 530 00:17:33,907 --> 00:17:35,076 - 3... - I'm ready to make my 531 00:17:35,076 --> 00:17:36,211 - 2... - my final accusation: 532 00:17:36,211 --> 00:17:38,215 - 1... - the witch is... 533 00:17:38,215 --> 00:17:39,084 “Margaret! ” 534 00:17:39,084 --> 00:17:40,085 - Oh jeez... - Woah. 535 00:17:40,085 --> 00:17:42,792 What?! No! Dar what are you doing-- 536 00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:44,528 That is... 537 00:17:44,528 --> 00:17:45,830 correct! 538 00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:47,968 Margaret? The classic witch? 539 00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:50,072 Uh... who would make a game that stupid! 540 00:17:50,172 --> 00:17:52,176 It was made by Hoagies! 541 00:17:52,176 --> 00:17:54,181 The game can definately be that stupid. 542 00:17:54,181 --> 00:17:55,817 Oh my god. - Oh yeah? 543 00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:56,485 How about that? 544 00:17:56,686 --> 00:17:58,356 That's my great great Aunt Margaret. 545 00:17:58,356 --> 00:17:59,926 Yeah, apparently she was a witch or something. 546 00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:01,194 Mom, you were so busy 547 00:18:01,194 --> 00:18:03,199 trying to figure everything out yourself, 548 00:18:03,199 --> 00:18:05,235 you weren't listening when Mark literally said 549 00:18:05,235 --> 00:18:06,706 he had witches in his family. 550 00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:07,239 Huh. 551 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,810 Yo. Looks like we got a regular 552 00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:10,581 Encyclopedia Brown over here. 553 00:18:10,581 --> 00:18:12,951 Well done, children. 554 00:18:12,951 --> 00:18:14,253 Why in the hell would you make a game 555 00:18:14,253 --> 00:18:15,957 that could kill your descendants? 556 00:18:15,957 --> 00:18:17,794 The game was meant to keep curious, 557 00:18:17,794 --> 00:18:21,502 naughty little children out of my workshop. 558 00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:24,107 Luckily, you're a good team... 559 00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:26,545 well except for that guy over there. 560 00:18:26,846 --> 00:18:29,117 Alright, well, 561 00:18:29,117 --> 00:18:31,856 back to the spirit world we go! 562 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,295 Go birds! 563 00:18:36,231 --> 00:18:37,968 I've got nothing! 564 00:18:37,968 --> 00:18:40,105 I have a once-in-a- lifetime chance 565 00:18:40,105 --> 00:18:42,110 to impress Yael fricken Golding 566 00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:43,245 and I've got nothing! 567 00:18:43,245 --> 00:18:45,984 Argh! Maybe Andrea is right. 568 00:18:45,984 --> 00:18:46,786 I'm not a writer! 569 00:18:46,986 --> 00:18:49,124 I should just go back to being a stupid lawyer 570 00:18:49,124 --> 00:18:50,994 and stop this charade. 571 00:18:50,994 --> 00:18:52,865 I don't even like writing!! 572 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,668 Uh, you okay, David? 573 00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:56,940 Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself. 574 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,143 Stop trying to write the next great American novel 575 00:18:59,277 --> 00:19:01,583 and just write something fun. 576 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:02,384 Fun? 577 00:19:02,384 --> 00:19:03,317 What does that even mean? 578 00:19:03,318 --> 00:19:05,691 I don't know. Stop trying to impress people 579 00:19:05,691 --> 00:19:07,895 and think of something that gets you excited. 580 00:19:07,895 --> 00:19:09,464 And then just let it rip. 581 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:11,903 Oh my god, 582 00:19:12,037 --> 00:19:12,905 did you see that? 583 00:19:12,905 --> 00:19:14,909 His head freakin' exploded! 584 00:19:14,909 --> 00:19:16,344 Hell yeah! 585 00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:19,417 Edith? 586 00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:23,292 Hehe, yo, we did it! 587 00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,460 Well Tam, I gotta say, 588 00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:27,166 that game was actually pretty fricken awesome. 589 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,035 Thanks, hun. 590 00:19:28,269 --> 00:19:29,304 I guess when we listen to each other 591 00:19:29,304 --> 00:19:30,574 we make a pretty good team. 592 00:19:30,574 --> 00:19:32,878 Hey, we do make a pretty good team right... 593 00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:33,647 wink wink... 594 00:19:33,647 --> 00:19:34,314 You know, 595 00:19:34,481 --> 00:19:35,984 I've got an idea for a new classic 596 00:19:36,117 --> 00:19:39,190 Hoagies Poconos weekend activity if you know what I mean... 597 00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:40,426 Ooh Wienerland? 598 00:19:40,426 --> 00:19:41,563 You could say that. 599 00:19:41,563 --> 00:19:43,198 Oh god, maybe I prefer you guys 600 00:19:43,198 --> 00:19:44,935 not listening to each other. 601 00:19:45,302 --> 00:19:47,508 Oh, Mark! This is so crazy! 602 00:19:47,508 --> 00:19:48,576 Yeah! 603 00:19:48,843 --> 00:19:51,616 I can't believe we're doing this in the bed Uncle Kenny died in. 604 00:19:51,616 --> 00:19:54,187 Think of something that gets you excited. 605 00:19:54,187 --> 00:19:55,524 Let it rip. 606 00:19:55,524 --> 00:19:57,193 Uh-huh! 607 00:19:59,063 --> 00:19:59,863 Yes, yes. 608 00:19:59,864 --> 00:20:02,504 I mean I do got witches in my family 609 00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:03,238 you know what I mean? 610 00:20:04,842 --> 00:20:07,180 Mark, I gotta say these are actually pretty good. 611 00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:09,350 Yo I know right? Yeah the cheesesteak pancakes, 612 00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:12,056 those are a classic Poconos Weekend tradition. 613 00:20:12,056 --> 00:20:14,361 Yo, there he is! You finish? 614 00:20:14,361 --> 00:20:16,365 Hahahaha. Yes, Mark. 615 00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:18,670 So did we inspire any ideas? 616 00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:19,671 Oh yes. 617 00:20:19,671 --> 00:20:21,107 Very much so. 618 00:20:21,107 --> 00:20:22,377 Awesome dude. 619 00:20:22,377 --> 00:20:24,982 Oh and Darren, got a little surprise for you. 620 00:20:25,483 --> 00:20:27,354 Uh... what are you doing Mark? 621 00:20:27,354 --> 00:20:28,824 Why don't you call me Dad. 622 00:20:29,124 --> 00:20:30,560 I'm gonna be your Dad now, buddy. 623 00:20:31,361 --> 00:20:32,363 Nah... I'm good. 624 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:35,503 Love you too, son! He's getting emotional. 625 00:20:35,503 --> 00:20:37,306 Didn't want it on camera, you know. 626 00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:42,985 And now I'd like to welcome up... David! 627 00:20:42,985 --> 00:20:44,221 Yo let's go, Jinglebells! 628 00:20:44,221 --> 00:20:46,158 Let it rip, baby! Let's go! 629 00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:49,665 The sharp smell of pine filled my nostrils 630 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,736 as I drove up the winding mountain 631 00:20:51,736 --> 00:20:52,771 towards the estate. 632 00:20:52,771 --> 00:20:54,908 On the radio, the news warned of a virus, 633 00:20:54,908 --> 00:20:58,148 infecting the brains of people in the Philadelphia area. 634 00:20:58,148 --> 00:21:00,787 He grunted in his stupid accent: 635 00:21:00,787 --> 00:21:03,091 "Guys Day. Guys Day! That's classic." 636 00:21:03,225 --> 00:21:06,397 I ripped the three-thousand dollar crossbow from his hands 637 00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:08,168 and RAT-TAT-TAT, 638 00:21:08,168 --> 00:21:10,272 lit him up like Boathouse Row. 639 00:21:10,272 --> 00:21:11,041 Oh, god. 640 00:21:11,274 --> 00:21:13,379 I jammed the frozen hot dogs through his eyes 641 00:21:13,513 --> 00:21:15,516 and into his hollow skull. 642 00:21:15,516 --> 00:21:18,556 ...I admired their rotting corpses on the spiked fence 643 00:21:18,556 --> 00:21:20,026 while I sipped my tea 644 00:21:20,026 --> 00:21:22,329 and basked in the silence. 645 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,135 It's horrible. Just awful. 646 00:21:25,704 --> 00:21:27,641 Incredible, David. That was great! 647 00:21:28,275 --> 00:21:29,010 Yeah, you like that? 648 00:21:29,010 --> 00:21:29,912 Nailed it, dude. 649 00:21:29,912 --> 00:21:30,914 Let's get out of here.