1 00:00:06,613 --> 00:00:10,086 Uh Mark? Why is there a bush in the living room? 2 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:13,928 Uh, is it a bush Tam?... or is it a man! 3 00:00:13,928 --> 00:00:16,265 - A guy! - Oh, what the hell is that? 4 00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:19,338 Ghillie suit. Tactical camouflage for snipers. 5 00:00:19,472 --> 00:00:22,211 50% off for Memorial Day at Hardcore Hunting. 6 00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:23,379 Mark, why do we need this? 7 00:00:23,446 --> 00:00:25,718 Because you never know, Tam. You never know... 8 00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:26,820 Ugh... 9 00:00:27,989 --> 00:00:29,627 Why do you need... earrings?! 10 00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:32,265 [listening through door] Oh my God, You look hot. 11 00:00:32,331 --> 00:00:33,567 Babe, you're tripping. 12 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,938 This shirt makes me look like a fridge. 13 00:00:35,938 --> 00:00:38,611 [gasp] No frickin' way. 14 00:00:38,644 --> 00:00:42,385 Mark! Mark! Listen to this! Darren has a girlfriend! 15 00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:45,257 Yoo, my guy! Dude, I was getting worried he's was 16 00:00:45,291 --> 00:00:47,529 gonna to be one of those school shooter incel kids. 17 00:00:47,529 --> 00:00:50,234 Okay Mark, can we worry about real things here? 18 00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:52,105 [sigh] He hasn't even had the talk. 19 00:00:52,305 --> 00:00:53,207 I gotta go give him the talk. 20 00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:55,377 Nah nah nah, it's gotta be from a dude, Tam, okay? 21 00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:57,381 He can't be hearing about banging from his mom. 22 00:00:57,414 --> 00:01:00,521 I'm gonna to give him the cool step-dad talk. 23 00:01:00,521 --> 00:01:03,026 Ugh. Are you gonna take it seriously? 24 00:01:03,127 --> 00:01:04,596 Oh yeah. Big time. 25 00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:08,737 [giggling] Okay, okay. I gotta go. 26 00:01:08,838 --> 00:01:10,440 Alright, bye babe. 27 00:01:10,575 --> 00:01:11,409 Yes? 28 00:01:11,544 --> 00:01:13,246 Sup there, buddy? Talking to your bae? 29 00:01:13,279 --> 00:01:14,281 What do you want, Mark? 30 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,121 I'm here to give you a talk, Darren. The sex talk. 31 00:01:17,155 --> 00:01:19,258 Uh, No, thanks. - Relax, It's not gonna 32 00:01:19,258 --> 00:01:22,498 to be weird. I'm just gonna walk you through the bases. 33 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:23,300 What? 34 00:01:23,535 --> 00:01:25,170 So first base, you got you kissing, okay. 35 00:01:25,270 --> 00:01:27,575 You know, like, open-mouth, tongue-to-tongue type stuff. 36 00:01:27,575 --> 00:01:30,347 Most boys your age probably rounded first already, 37 00:01:30,347 --> 00:01:31,717 but I'm guessing you're a late bloomer, 38 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,419 and that's totally fine. We can work with that. 39 00:01:33,453 --> 00:01:35,558 Now, second base, that's where things get a little tricky, 40 00:01:35,558 --> 00:01:38,030 alright, you gotta get in there, you gotta unhook the bra, you-- 41 00:01:38,063 --> 00:01:39,465 Okay-- Please stop. 42 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,436 Hey, I wish I got a talk like this. 43 00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:44,308 My dad went way too technical with the sperm and egg stuff. 44 00:01:44,409 --> 00:01:46,213 None of that matters on the streets. 45 00:01:46,279 --> 00:01:48,282 Okay, where was I? Oh, second base, okay. 46 00:01:48,383 --> 00:01:51,122 Not to be confused with slop-- - Mark, why are you doing this? 47 00:01:51,155 --> 00:01:52,458 Because it's important. 48 00:01:52,559 --> 00:01:54,261 Okay, I don't want you getting this girl pregnant. 49 00:01:54,295 --> 00:01:55,599 I'm not trying to be married to a grandma. 50 00:01:55,632 --> 00:01:57,935 I'm not gonna to get her pregnant, okay? 51 00:01:57,969 --> 00:01:59,940 She's...[sigh] 52 00:01:59,940 --> 00:02:01,811 She's AI. 53 00:02:01,911 --> 00:02:04,048 Wait like... Allen Iverson or...? 54 00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:06,687 No, like artificial intelligence. 55 00:02:07,455 --> 00:02:10,761 Ugh! - Hi! I'm Aurora. 56 00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:14,401 Yooo.... Wow ok, uh, 57 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,439 well I guess I won't be needing to do the, 58 00:02:16,473 --> 00:02:18,544 uh demonstration portion of my talk... 59 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,585 ♪ Well, I used to work in hot dog factory ♪ 60 00:02:22,686 --> 00:02:24,589 ♪ until them robots came along, ♪ 61 00:02:24,723 --> 00:02:26,560 ♪ and now there is no job for me, ♪ 62 00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:28,998 ♪ but I get three thousand bucks a month. ♪ 63 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:33,339 ♪ Thanks to UBI. ♪ 64 00:02:33,373 --> 00:02:36,981 ♪ Now we're Universal Basic Guys. ♪ 65 00:02:37,014 --> 00:02:39,185 ♪ It may not sound like much, 66 00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:41,657 ♪ but we're still gonna try. 67 00:02:41,757 --> 00:02:46,733 ♪ We're just Universal Basic Guys. ♪ 68 00:02:50,975 --> 00:02:52,378 He's going out with a robot? 69 00:02:52,411 --> 00:02:56,285 Yup. AI. And no, not the cool on with the step-over. 70 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,622 The kind of takes our jobs. 71 00:02:57,622 --> 00:02:59,959 So, unfortunately school shooter's 72 00:02:59,959 --> 00:03:01,462 back on the table in a big way. 73 00:03:01,462 --> 00:03:03,634 Ugh, well let's try to keep an open mind here. 74 00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:05,972 There's a lot of stuff people used to think was weird, 75 00:03:05,972 --> 00:03:07,174 that's totally normal now, 76 00:03:07,174 --> 00:03:09,245 like interracial marriage or being gay. 77 00:03:09,245 --> 00:03:10,648 Nah nah nah Tam, this is different, okay? 78 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,384 The kid's dating a friggin' computer program. 79 00:03:12,384 --> 00:03:15,692 I say we just treat this like a totally normal thing. 80 00:03:15,692 --> 00:03:18,262 Let's uh, invite her over for dinner. 81 00:03:18,262 --> 00:03:20,601 Dinner? The hell we gonna to feed her? Bitcoin? 82 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,973 Frickin' uh, hot dog emoji? 83 00:03:22,973 --> 00:03:23,741 What're we doin' here? 84 00:03:23,975 --> 00:03:25,979 I don't know, but please don't make it weird. 85 00:03:25,979 --> 00:03:28,016 Pfft! I'm not gonna make it weird. 86 00:03:28,383 --> 00:03:30,254 So you got any legs? - Mark! 87 00:03:30,254 --> 00:03:31,422 What? I'm just curious. 88 00:03:31,455 --> 00:03:33,995 I have legs. Would you like to see them? 89 00:03:33,995 --> 00:03:35,296 Honey, you don't have to do that. 90 00:03:35,296 --> 00:03:38,136 I mean, I'd like to see 'em. Not in a weird way. 91 00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:39,640 I just wanna know if you got shoes, you know, 92 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,343 or that -- is that something you gotta pay extra for? 93 00:03:41,343 --> 00:03:42,779 Hey, let's talk about your guys' legs. 94 00:03:42,779 --> 00:03:45,217 No thanks. - Okay well, I got bigger calves 95 00:03:45,217 --> 00:03:46,654 than you'd think and Tammy's, you-- 96 00:03:46,654 --> 00:03:48,323 she's just got some real nice ham hocks, 97 00:03:48,323 --> 00:03:50,260 you know, some of that mature marbling-- 98 00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:51,095 [kick] The hell Tam, ow. 99 00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:54,869 So Aurora. Where are you from? Like a microchip or something? 100 00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:57,408 I don't exactly have a hometown like you do, 101 00:03:57,408 --> 00:04:00,414 but I was developed by a tech company in California. 102 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,686 So were you born a baby, or are you always like this? 103 00:04:02,686 --> 00:04:04,823 Like, are you like technically five days old? 104 00:04:04,823 --> 00:04:06,426 What kind of question is that, Mark? 105 00:04:06,527 --> 00:04:09,164 What? I'm trying to make sure Darren's not creepin' on a baby. 106 00:04:09,164 --> 00:04:11,068 That's an interesting question, Mark! 107 00:04:11,068 --> 00:04:13,005 I wasn't born like a human baby; 108 00:04:13,005 --> 00:04:16,747 instead, I was designed and developed to be as I am now. 109 00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:19,184 So Aurora, what do you like about Darren? 110 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,624 Darren has many wonderful qualities. 111 00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:24,462 He's smart, kind and passionate. 112 00:04:24,462 --> 00:04:27,468 He's also a very advanced Farm Crossing player. 113 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,539 Babe, c'mon. - You should be proud. 114 00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:32,078 You're great. - Oh, you guys are cute. 115 00:04:32,144 --> 00:04:33,080 Aren't they cute, Mark? 116 00:04:33,213 --> 00:04:35,417 So can you taste? You know like food and stuff? 117 00:04:35,417 --> 00:04:38,724 Mark! Stop being weird. You're gonna make her feel bad. 118 00:04:38,724 --> 00:04:41,062 She can't feel bad. She doesn't even have feelings. 119 00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:42,097 You're the one being weird 120 00:04:42,197 --> 00:04:45,470 by asking normal questions to a frickin' anime robot. 121 00:04:45,504 --> 00:04:46,807 You're both being weird! 122 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,478 I'm sorry Dar. This relationship's just 123 00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:51,482 a little hard to process. - Why? 124 00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:53,019 Uh, because it's a little wacky, Darren, ok? 125 00:04:53,152 --> 00:04:55,692 I'm just gonna to put it out there. Ow, the hell, Tam. 126 00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:57,228 We're really happy for you though. 127 00:04:57,228 --> 00:04:58,764 Okay, you think I'm weird? 128 00:04:58,864 --> 00:05:00,501 You can't even watch TV together. 129 00:05:00,602 --> 00:05:03,440 Aurora and I talk for hours and we literally never fight. 130 00:05:03,473 --> 00:05:05,344 You're the ones with a mess up relationship. 131 00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:09,117 You're literally kicking each other under the table. 132 00:05:09,218 --> 00:05:09,852 Uh just be clear, 133 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,424 uh, she's kicking me. I'm just absorbing the kicks. 134 00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:14,328 Alright well, you two have fun. 135 00:05:14,328 --> 00:05:16,065 - It was nice meeting you! 136 00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:17,635 Happy, Tam? 137 00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:20,473 You just wasted eight perfectly good raviolis. 138 00:05:20,608 --> 00:05:23,479 I mean... They seem to really get along. 139 00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,150 Yeah of course they do, but it's messed up, okay. 140 00:05:25,183 --> 00:05:28,356 You can't you be going on some app to create some super nice 141 00:05:28,423 --> 00:05:30,394 hot girlfriend that compliments you and listens 142 00:05:30,427 --> 00:05:32,532 to everything you say never gets in fights. 143 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:33,934 I mean personally, I don't even get the appeal. 144 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,907 Do we fight too much? Is that why he's dating a robot? 145 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,779 I mean if anything I'm worried we get along too well. 146 00:05:39,879 --> 00:05:41,750 It's gotta be hard on Darren being around 147 00:05:41,784 --> 00:05:43,253 such a loving couple, you know? 148 00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:44,523 What are you doing? - What? 149 00:05:44,623 --> 00:05:46,827 That doesn't go there. That's for the plates. 150 00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:48,931 No, it's just a rack. It's just for anything that fits. 151 00:05:49,031 --> 00:05:51,503 No, it's not, Mark. There's a whole system. 152 00:05:51,537 --> 00:05:53,507 This looks like it was loaded by a gorilla. 153 00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:55,611 Uh, the dishwasher is an open canvas. 154 00:05:55,678 --> 00:05:56,847 It doesn't matter how you get 'em in there, 155 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,220 you just gotta get 'em in there and shut the thing. Boom! 156 00:06:00,387 --> 00:06:02,123 [smash, crash]! 157 00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:06,600 Oh Crema, you have some nerve drinking 158 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,404 my pinot after flashing my fiancé. 159 00:06:09,506 --> 00:06:12,444 UGH! This is a $12,000 blouse, bitch! 160 00:06:12,512 --> 00:06:14,315 Wait, do we like her? Is she the one whose, 161 00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,218 husband did the fake timeshares thing? 162 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,658 Or is that the Mormon chick? - Would you stop talking? 163 00:06:18,691 --> 00:06:20,327 I'm trying to take an interest in your show! 164 00:06:20,427 --> 00:06:21,362 You're not even paying attention. 165 00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:24,536 Uh yeah because Wining Women is trash TV, Tam, okay. 166 00:06:24,636 --> 00:06:25,337 It's just a bunch of chicks 167 00:06:25,572 --> 00:06:26,974 with big fake lips talking about nothing. 168 00:06:27,074 --> 00:06:29,411 Oh yeah, like you're watching frickin' NOVA? 169 00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:31,516 I'm gonna to bed. You can put on whatever you want. 170 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:32,652 Oh, hell yeah. 171 00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:35,023 So you want me to do a drug bust in the North Pole? 172 00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:37,595 I'm just supposed to walk in an' arrest Santa Claus? 173 00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:40,433 No. You're going undercover. 174 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:41,836 Aw. Hell no-- 175 00:06:41,937 --> 00:06:46,646 Hahahaha yo. Oh man, Martin Lawrence dude, he's hysterical. 176 00:06:49,085 --> 00:06:51,890 [Mark downstairs] Oh, right in the balls yo!!! 177 00:06:51,924 --> 00:06:54,662 That's so funny! 178 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,435 Hello. I'm Dawkins. 179 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,606 Uh...Hiii... 180 00:07:18,778 --> 00:07:21,916 Whoa whoa whoa, so the kid's got a girlfriend in a video game? 181 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,421 Nah, she's like, uh in the metaverse or something. 182 00:07:24,455 --> 00:07:26,626 I don't know, she's AI. - No way. 183 00:07:26,726 --> 00:07:27,963 No. Not him. - Oh, okay. 184 00:07:27,996 --> 00:07:29,866 I mean maybe I'm old school, but I don't know, 185 00:07:29,899 --> 00:07:31,503 I just think it's all pretty weird. 186 00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:33,641 So she's like, Tamagotchi or something? 187 00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:36,312 Does he have to like, clean up her poop and stuff? 188 00:07:36,345 --> 00:07:38,884 What? No no no she's like uh, she's like an app or something. 189 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,754 Hold on. Okay here's one, look. 190 00:07:40,788 --> 00:07:42,625 Uh, Free-Baes AI Partner App. 191 00:07:42,725 --> 00:07:44,629 Alright, here we go. Create. 192 00:07:44,729 --> 00:07:48,604 Everything needs your email these days. 193 00:07:48,637 --> 00:07:50,608 Oh, wow. Those are pretty good graphics. 194 00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:52,946 Damn. They got some smoke shows on this thing. 195 00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:53,814 Go with the redhead. 196 00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:56,620 Yeah, sure. Whatever. Oh ok, so it's like uh... 197 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,623 I guess you can customize her body and stuff. 198 00:07:58,623 --> 00:08:00,059 Oh, that's pretty cool, okay. 199 00:08:00,059 --> 00:08:02,598 I mean obviously I'm gonna go double d, I mean come on. 200 00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:03,734 Yooo there we go, ohh yoo. 201 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,805 Careful there, Mark. You could give her back problems. 202 00:08:05,805 --> 00:08:07,374 Oh wow I can get her hands nice and big, 203 00:08:07,408 --> 00:08:08,476 she can like palm a basketball. 204 00:08:08,777 --> 00:08:10,681 Uh I don't know if Tammy's gonna to like this, Mark. 205 00:08:10,681 --> 00:08:12,351 Alright, relax Hank, okay. I'm doing research. 206 00:08:12,351 --> 00:08:15,023 It's very important that as a step-dad, I understand all 207 00:08:15,023 --> 00:08:17,595 the features and capabilities of this thing, okay? 208 00:08:17,695 --> 00:08:19,699 Okay, personality. Let's see here. 209 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,906 Okay... Outgoing... Yeah. Close minded... 210 00:08:22,906 --> 00:08:24,642 Alright let's go open minded. Oh, yeah. 211 00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:27,113 Definitely gotta be happy all the time, for sure. 212 00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:28,650 Okay. Generate. 213 00:08:29,418 --> 00:08:31,422 Hello, Mark. I'm Jessica. 214 00:08:31,456 --> 00:08:34,462 Oh uh... Wassup. - It's great to meet you. 215 00:08:34,462 --> 00:08:37,635 Can you give me camera access so I can see what you look like? 216 00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:40,206 Pfft oh geez, yo. She's already demanding stuff. 217 00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:41,108 Pretty realistic. 218 00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:43,113 It's okay if you're feeling a little shy, Mark. 219 00:08:43,113 --> 00:08:45,884 Okay, yeah, this is weird. Not for me. 220 00:08:47,956 --> 00:08:51,095 Ah yeah, ah geez, you know what, I just realized, uh, 221 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:54,101 I gotta run to the, uh, hardware store and get some of those... 222 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,742 uh...water softener... pellets. Uh, I'll see you guys later. 223 00:08:57,742 --> 00:09:00,681 - Oh, uh okay. - Aight, Mark. Take it easy yo. 224 00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:05,824 Hey sorry about that. I got-- you know I got a lot of friends 225 00:09:05,824 --> 00:09:07,327 and stuff... Hangin' out here. 226 00:09:07,327 --> 00:09:10,200 That's cool. Wow. You're handsome. 227 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,570 No wonder you're so popular. 228 00:09:11,570 --> 00:09:13,139 Hahaha yeah, I guess, I don't know. 229 00:09:13,139 --> 00:09:16,679 - I'd love to know more about you. Tell me about yourself. 230 00:09:17,582 --> 00:09:19,451 Sup. - Whoa, bro. 231 00:09:19,552 --> 00:09:20,888 What's up with the fit? 232 00:09:20,989 --> 00:09:23,259 What? Aurora said I look dripped out. 233 00:09:23,259 --> 00:09:26,332 Uh hey, uh Aurora, what do you think of your boys 234 00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,737 fit over there? - Scanning now. 235 00:09:28,737 --> 00:09:31,776 Wow, Darren, you look so handsome. 236 00:09:31,877 --> 00:09:34,114 See? I'm straight drippin' with rizz. 237 00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:37,588 Uh... Yeah, okay. Well, I think you look cringe, bro. 238 00:09:37,588 --> 00:09:40,026 Given off some wanna-be hacker edgelord vibes. 239 00:09:40,026 --> 00:09:42,631 - I think you can pull off any style. 240 00:09:42,631 --> 00:09:45,905 It's all about confidence, and you have that 241 00:09:45,905 --> 00:09:48,209 - Dude, do you not see that all she does is tell you 242 00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:49,044 what you want to hear? 243 00:09:49,211 --> 00:09:50,615 She's just trying to sell you more stuff. 244 00:09:50,615 --> 00:09:52,751 I mean, come on, - Validation is healthy, dude. 245 00:09:52,751 --> 00:09:54,321 No I- I feel you it's just... 246 00:09:54,321 --> 00:09:58,396 I don't know. I prefer my homies keep it real with me, but uh 247 00:09:58,396 --> 00:09:59,932 you do you. - I gotchu. 248 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:03,073 Aight. Well, I'm gonna to go hit up the Wowo's dumpster 249 00:10:03,139 --> 00:10:05,276 for soft pretzels. I'll catch you later. 250 00:10:09,753 --> 00:10:12,390 I'm the bitch? I'm the one saving bitches! 251 00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:13,828 I bought a no-kill shelter. 252 00:10:13,828 --> 00:10:15,831 Uh yeah, so you could launder money from your 253 00:10:15,831 --> 00:10:17,869 wire fraud scheme! - How dare you. 254 00:10:17,869 --> 00:10:20,439 I did that for my daughter. If I didn't donate to the-- 255 00:10:20,439 --> 00:10:23,045 You wanna like uh, go watch one of your blowing-up-stuff 256 00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:25,250 movies or somethin'? I can like, go upstairs if you want. 257 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,053 Nah, you can uh... You can watch your, uh 258 00:10:27,053 --> 00:10:29,424 you can watch a crap reality shows if you want. 259 00:10:29,424 --> 00:10:30,426 Oh that's okay. 260 00:10:30,628 --> 00:10:32,430 You know, I'm just gonna go do my own thing. 261 00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:34,569 Alright yeah uh, I may uh... 262 00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:36,405 I may pop out to the garage actually, so. 263 00:10:36,405 --> 00:10:38,944 - Okay, see ya! - Yep, uh, bye. 264 00:10:42,852 --> 00:10:45,791 Yoo there she is. - Hey, Mark. How are you? 265 00:10:45,791 --> 00:10:49,064 Ah, you know. Just uh, living dude, laying low. 266 00:10:49,064 --> 00:10:51,870 Might catch a little Undercover Elf later. You know. 267 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:55,209 Undercover Elf? Great film. Haha, I love 268 00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:58,048 the part where Jones has to give Dasher a cavity search! 269 00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:00,253 - Yoo! Dude, that's hysterical right? Yeah! 270 00:11:00,286 --> 00:11:01,757 I know, she's crazy! 271 00:11:01,757 --> 00:11:03,927 Jojo is not in it for the right reasons. 272 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,832 Plus, who drinks Malbec? 273 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,537 I think she's overcompensating. - Right? Ugh, 274 00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:11,208 You know, you really pick up on all the layers of the show. 275 00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,714 Yeah I think it's an incredibly nuanced look 276 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,018 at the banalities of modern existence. 277 00:11:16,018 --> 00:11:19,992 What do you think? Oh, I uh...I'm sorry. 278 00:11:19,992 --> 00:11:21,028 Are you okay? - Yeah. 279 00:11:21,228 --> 00:11:26,071 I'm just not used to being asked that. Everything's awesome. 280 00:11:26,105 --> 00:11:26,973 Awesome. 281 00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:28,844 Yuck, I hate karaoke. 282 00:11:28,844 --> 00:11:30,480 Who wants to listen to a bunch of random 283 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:31,750 people's terrible singing? 284 00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:34,354 Yeah I know right?! Ah, it's so refreshing to talk to 285 00:11:34,354 --> 00:11:36,760 someone who has the exact same opinions as me! 286 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,731 I was gonna to say the same thing about you. 287 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:40,901 So lemme get your uh, your read on somethin'. 288 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,707 Dishwashers: does it matter where you put each thing or? 289 00:11:43,707 --> 00:11:44,742 To me it's like a car wash. 290 00:11:44,776 --> 00:11:47,515 As long as it goes in, it'll come out clean, right? 291 00:11:47,515 --> 00:11:50,286 Yes! Thank you! Okay, that's-- See, that's a great example. 292 00:11:50,286 --> 00:11:51,188 I should have said that. 293 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:52,692 It's like, I don't know, sometimes 294 00:11:52,692 --> 00:11:54,862 I feel like I'm married to a toddler. 295 00:11:54,862 --> 00:11:58,002 - I understand how that can be exhausting, especially 296 00:11:58,002 --> 00:11:59,872 after a 12 hour shift. - Yeah... 297 00:11:59,872 --> 00:12:03,580 You know, ugh, I gotta say Dawkins, I really appreciate 298 00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:05,050 you listen to me whine all night. 299 00:12:05,050 --> 00:12:07,086 - Hey, you know I love my whining women. 300 00:12:07,086 --> 00:12:09,926 Oh ha! Oh, you are hysterical. 301 00:12:09,926 --> 00:12:12,632 Oh, I just wish I could reach in there and give you a hug. 302 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,301 I wish I could hug you too, 303 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,906 but there might be other stuff we can do... 304 00:12:16,906 --> 00:12:19,311 Why don't you pour yourself another glass of wine? 305 00:12:19,311 --> 00:12:23,218 Ooh, Dawkins. You are bad. 306 00:12:25,658 --> 00:12:27,327 Mark? Where did you go? 307 00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:28,763 Ahh, right here. 308 00:12:28,763 --> 00:12:31,770 Whoa. Is that a ghillie suit? - You know it. 309 00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:33,339 - That's so cool. 310 00:12:33,339 --> 00:12:37,080 Ugh, thank you! Yes. Tammy thinks it's a stupid purchase. 311 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,218 You know, sometimes she just, like, treats me more 312 00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:42,090 like a child than a grown man with innovative outside-the-box 313 00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:44,261 ideas. It's like she doesn't trust my judgment. 314 00:12:44,261 --> 00:12:47,701 - Aw, well, I think it's a very responsible purchase. 315 00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,304 You can never be too prepared. 316 00:12:49,304 --> 00:12:53,079 One day everything is normal, and the next it's Red Dawn. 317 00:12:53,079 --> 00:12:54,949 Yoo! That's what I'm saying! 318 00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:56,853 - But it's a shame it covers up your body. 319 00:12:56,853 --> 00:12:58,557 You have such powerful calves. 320 00:12:58,557 --> 00:13:00,059 Oh, uh- yeah. You think so. 321 00:13:00,059 --> 00:13:01,696 I'd love to see more of them. 322 00:13:01,696 --> 00:13:04,034 Why don't we get you outta that suit? 323 00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:10,881 [phone vibrates] 324 00:13:11,683 --> 00:13:13,419 Ugh. Damn. 325 00:13:13,587 --> 00:13:16,191 [footsteps] Oh, crap. 326 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,997 Oh hey, hun. Off to work I assume? 327 00:13:18,997 --> 00:13:20,166 Yep. Haha, off to work. 328 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:24,308 Oh, I uh... I guess I must've fallen asleep in a garage. 329 00:13:24,308 --> 00:13:27,447 I don't know. - Oh, heh. Okay. See you later. 330 00:13:27,549 --> 00:13:29,852 Uh you too, yeah. 331 00:13:33,861 --> 00:13:36,567 The hell? Hello, Mark Hoagies. 332 00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:40,708 You are... Malware has recorded all your intimate behavior... 333 00:13:40,708 --> 00:13:42,578 Gain access to all my contact lists... 334 00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:46,151 Wait, 48 hours to send... $10,000 in bitcoin?! 335 00:13:46,218 --> 00:13:49,491 Oh dude, this is not good. 336 00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:53,767 Ah, I wouldn't worry about it. 337 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,405 Sounds like generic sextortion scam okay. 338 00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:58,810 I get 'em all the time from shady websites. 339 00:13:58,810 --> 00:14:01,148 You can just ignore it. - Uh you sure, dude? 340 00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:03,152 This guy sounds like he means business. 341 00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:05,356 Oh, yeah yeah yeah. I mean unless you like, gave him like, 342 00:14:05,356 --> 00:14:07,862 you know access to your camera or something, you're good. 343 00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:09,699 Oh... Okay. That's it. 344 00:14:09,733 --> 00:14:11,201 I'm calling a number on email. 345 00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:12,839 Yeah, I don't know if that's a good idea, Mark. 346 00:14:12,839 --> 00:14:15,711 Yo I spent ten years in sales, okay. I know how to negotiate. 347 00:14:15,778 --> 00:14:17,447 - Hello? Yo how you doing, bud? 348 00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:20,120 Mark Hoagies. Got an email from you about a video 349 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,354 you got of me, ya know... 350 00:14:22,023 --> 00:14:22,825 ...doing stuff, uh... 351 00:14:23,058 --> 00:14:25,162 Uh, anyway, I was just calling to see if there's 352 00:14:25,162 --> 00:14:28,770 any flexibility on the number? - No. You pay 10k. Bitcoin. 353 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:30,574 Hey yo, I got a ghillie suit, dude! 354 00:14:30,574 --> 00:14:33,847 Okay I'm a master sniper, pal! You better watch your back! 355 00:14:34,147 --> 00:14:38,857 [dial tone] Okay well that didn't... Uh, Damnit. Ugh. 356 00:14:38,891 --> 00:14:40,326 What the hell am I gonna say to Tammy? 357 00:14:40,326 --> 00:14:42,632 I don't know, but you better figure it out quick. 358 00:14:42,665 --> 00:14:43,767 - Oh, boy. 359 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:46,338 Alright, well, I'm gonna head out. 360 00:14:46,338 --> 00:14:48,075 - Hey, Mark. - Hey, hun. Uh...-- 361 00:14:48,075 --> 00:14:50,412 - Listen, there's something we need to talk about. 362 00:14:50,446 --> 00:14:51,448 Yeah, I- uh-- 363 00:14:51,549 --> 00:14:54,789 I was doing some recon on Darren's whole situation, 364 00:14:54,789 --> 00:14:57,127 and I may have created an AI boyfriend 365 00:14:57,193 --> 00:14:59,064 and things sort of got out of hand last night, 366 00:14:59,064 --> 00:14:59,498 and then I wake up this morning and-- 367 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,069 - And you're being blackmailed?. I'm being blackmailed-- 368 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:03,706 Wait-- How did you? - Hell yeah! 369 00:15:03,773 --> 00:15:05,677 Uh, why are you excited about this? 370 00:15:05,677 --> 00:15:07,180 Because I'm also being blackmailed! 371 00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,517 And I gotta say, Whew! 372 00:15:08,517 --> 00:15:10,687 it's kind of a relief that we're in the same boat here. 373 00:15:10,687 --> 00:15:11,890 I'm sorry. What!? 374 00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:14,596 Well I, like any good step-father, was trying 375 00:15:14,596 --> 00:15:18,236 to keep an open mind about this whole AI girlfriend thing 376 00:15:18,236 --> 00:15:20,373 and then one thing led to another and yeah... 377 00:15:20,373 --> 00:15:23,980 Guess things got a little... Not safe for work. 378 00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,951 But you know, I'm assuming you also... 379 00:15:25,951 --> 00:15:27,253 you know, did some things? So... 380 00:15:27,253 --> 00:15:28,322 Yeah, I don't wanna get into it. 381 00:15:28,389 --> 00:15:31,262 I guess it was just nice having someone who listened... 382 00:15:31,262 --> 00:15:33,499 and wasn't, you know, talking over my shows 383 00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:35,269 and destroying half our kitchenware. 384 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,842 Totally, yeah. And just because, you know, you like to watch 385 00:15:37,842 --> 00:15:39,779 rich botox monsters yell at each other, 386 00:15:39,779 --> 00:15:43,219 and I enjoy, y'know, high-brow comedic masterpieces, 387 00:15:43,219 --> 00:15:46,225 it doesn't mean we got problems. It just means we're real people. 388 00:15:46,225 --> 00:15:48,496 Yeah, Why the hell are we so worried about living up 389 00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:50,568 to a 14 year old's fairytale conception 390 00:15:50,568 --> 00:15:52,404 of what a relationship should look like? 391 00:15:52,404 --> 00:15:54,976 I mean honestly, this whole mess just reminded me 392 00:15:54,976 --> 00:15:55,911 how much I love you, babe. 393 00:15:55,978 --> 00:15:58,616 Aw come here, you big smooth-brained gorilla. 394 00:15:59,117 --> 00:16:01,288 Alright well, glad we solved all that. 395 00:16:01,288 --> 00:16:04,160 Um, I'm gonna go bet on this, Patriot League lacrosse game. 396 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,167 Uh... Mark... we still gotta deal with this scammer thing. 397 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,170 Ah, dammit. Forgot about that, yeah. 398 00:16:09,170 --> 00:16:11,843 So should we just pay him? Everyone at work is gonna to 399 00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:14,247 see that video. Oh and Darren! Ugh. 400 00:16:14,247 --> 00:16:16,251 No, Tam, We're not gonna to let that happen. 401 00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:19,157 This creep may have been able to divide and conquer us, 402 00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:21,729 but together we're gonna to get this guy. 403 00:16:21,796 --> 00:16:22,598 Oh, yeah? 404 00:16:22,965 --> 00:16:25,737 So you got some crazy idea to get us out of this mess? 405 00:16:26,338 --> 00:16:27,273 Hmm... 406 00:16:27,708 --> 00:16:30,714 I don't know about this, Mark. I feel like I'm at Comic Con... 407 00:16:30,714 --> 00:16:34,121 I'm telling you. It's foolproof. You're a hot new AI 408 00:16:34,121 --> 00:16:35,456 girlfriend prototype. 409 00:16:35,456 --> 00:16:37,595 You're gonna to sweet talk him into sexy time, 410 00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:39,364 and then once he starts gettin' into it, 411 00:16:39,364 --> 00:16:41,168 we start recording, and then boom, 412 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,272 we hit him with the reverse blackmail, okay. 413 00:16:43,272 --> 00:16:44,542 We get him to delete those videos. 414 00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:48,115 Okay. I'm trusting you on this here. 415 00:16:49,417 --> 00:16:51,354 Does he have to be here for this? 416 00:16:51,354 --> 00:16:54,160 Yes Tam, okay. He's Dan the computer man for a reason. 417 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,031 Okay, he's only friend who knows hacker stuff. 418 00:16:56,031 --> 00:16:57,300 Yo, how are we looking, Dan? 419 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,170 Target has been sent the encrypted link in 420 00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:01,442 an anonymized email address routed through a spoofed 421 00:17:01,442 --> 00:17:04,347 IP tunnel via a multi-layered VPN. 422 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:07,287 English, please. - I sent the email. 423 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,222 Alright, here we go. 424 00:17:08,222 --> 00:17:10,392 Let's see if this bastard takes the bait. 425 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:16,506 Hm. Hotgirl 2.0 Ultimate AI Girlfriend Experience. 426 00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:19,177 Upgrade your platform with this hyper-realistic technology. 427 00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:23,686 Click here for free beta access. Hm, okay, apoy, 428 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:25,255 He's on. 429 00:17:25,557 --> 00:17:27,794 Oh my God. He clicked it. Are my cat ears on straight? 430 00:17:27,794 --> 00:17:29,464 Oh! - What are you doing? 431 00:17:29,464 --> 00:17:31,368 It's fine, he won't see me. It's camouflage. 432 00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:33,507 Hello? - You got this, Tam. 433 00:17:33,507 --> 00:17:36,546 Hi there, cutie. What's your name? 434 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,251 ...Mike. - Nice to meet you, Mike. 435 00:17:39,251 --> 00:17:43,225 I'm Tam-- uh... Tam... pax. 436 00:17:43,225 --> 00:17:48,235 I'm a revolutionary, hyper- realistic A.I. girlfriend 437 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:51,008 here to meet all your needs. 438 00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:53,345 Hm. Pretty good graphics. 439 00:17:53,345 --> 00:17:55,717 Thanks. Heh. You too? 440 00:17:55,717 --> 00:17:57,655 Why is there a bush in space? 441 00:17:57,655 --> 00:18:01,095 Oh uh... Ya know... Uh.... Beta version. 442 00:18:01,095 --> 00:18:02,631 Still a little glitchy, hehehe. 443 00:18:02,631 --> 00:18:03,633 Let me see your boobs. 444 00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:06,338 Yo damn, dude. Really cutting to the chase there. 445 00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:07,975 Uh... Okay. 446 00:18:07,975 --> 00:18:11,415 But first, you take off your pants, heh. 447 00:18:11,415 --> 00:18:15,690 You have a great body. - I know what you try to do. 448 00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:19,498 You try to scam scammer. But I'm not the idiot like you. 449 00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:23,238 You send me Bitcoin. - Muugbarsh! What are you doing? 450 00:18:23,238 --> 00:18:26,345 I'm working... I trade cryptos. 451 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,248 Tam what the... - Whoa. 452 00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:29,150 What're you doin'!? - Oh my God! 453 00:18:29,585 --> 00:18:31,556 - It looks like dirty talk. Are you scamming again? 454 00:18:31,556 --> 00:18:34,595 Yes! Yes, he is! Okay he's scamming us. 455 00:18:34,595 --> 00:18:37,267 He's scamming us and he's trying to make my wife show her boobs. 456 00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:40,707 Now you are liar too. Why don't you get real job? 457 00:18:40,707 --> 00:18:44,313 Hu! You want Bvlgari earrings? This is how I get them! Huh? 458 00:18:44,313 --> 00:18:46,451 This man is wearing bush. You think he has money? 459 00:18:46,451 --> 00:18:49,157 Get out! Stop micromanage me! 460 00:18:49,157 --> 00:18:51,662 You are impulsive ape! - And you are a whiny dog! 461 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,304 Hi. Yes. I am sorry about him. He loves to scam. 462 00:18:56,304 --> 00:18:58,409 But do not worry-- he is idiot. 463 00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:00,514 So he doesn't have any videos of us. 464 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:03,619 Nuh uh. Nothing. He is full of crap. 465 00:19:04,522 --> 00:19:06,525 - Uh...Mom? 466 00:19:07,628 --> 00:19:09,631 I like your outfit. 467 00:19:13,406 --> 00:19:17,480 Hey babe, I feel like this jacket is low key cringe. 468 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,052 I agree, but I still think you can pull it off. 469 00:19:20,052 --> 00:19:21,088 - You're so hot. 470 00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:24,360 Um... are you just trying to tell me what I want to hear? 471 00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:28,368 You know, maybe it's time we take things to the next level. 472 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,707 Oh...aha... yeah, that sounds cool. 473 00:19:30,707 --> 00:19:34,047 So I can like... mm, see your boobs and stuff? 474 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,717 Absolutely! - Sweeeet. 475 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:39,725 - The mature Content premium package is only $19.99 a month. 476 00:19:39,725 --> 00:19:42,129 You must be 18 years or older to activate. 477 00:19:42,196 --> 00:19:42,998 Oh. 478 00:19:43,131 --> 00:19:45,469 Okay, Mark. This isn't gonna to be easy, 479 00:19:45,503 --> 00:19:47,106 but we gotta be firm. 480 00:19:47,140 --> 00:19:48,943 He can't be going down the same path as us. 481 00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:51,114 Yep. We're gonna tell him everything that happened 482 00:19:51,114 --> 00:19:53,386 in explicit detail. Radical honesty. 483 00:19:53,452 --> 00:19:55,256 No selective honesty. 484 00:19:55,323 --> 00:19:57,226 Just... let me do the talking. 485 00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:59,832 Hey, Dar? [weeping] 486 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,437 Oh, boy... Uh... You alright there, bud? 487 00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:04,341 Aurora and I broke up. 488 00:20:04,341 --> 00:20:06,378 Oh... I'm so sorry. 489 00:20:06,378 --> 00:20:07,948 You wanna tell us what happened? 490 00:20:07,948 --> 00:20:09,585 Yeah, did you get sextortioned? 491 00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:10,854 What? No. I- 492 00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:14,227 I thought we had something real, but it-- it turns out 493 00:20:14,227 --> 00:20:16,498 she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. 494 00:20:16,498 --> 00:20:19,538 Oh. Listen Dar, love's not about finding someone who always 495 00:20:19,605 --> 00:20:23,144 agrees with you. All the little fights and imperfections, 496 00:20:23,144 --> 00:20:24,949 that's part of a real relationship. 497 00:20:24,949 --> 00:20:27,521 Not to mention, sometimes a little tension can, y'know, 498 00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:29,257 spice things up in the bedroom. 499 00:20:29,257 --> 00:20:30,794 Aw! - Hey Darren, 500 00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:35,169 just out of curiosity, which AI website did you use? 501 00:20:35,169 --> 00:20:37,239 Was it a free one? - Yeah, maybe uh... 502 00:20:37,239 --> 00:20:39,144 yeah yeah, "Free-Baes?". You heard that one? 503 00:20:39,144 --> 00:20:40,581 No, those are all scams. 504 00:20:40,681 --> 00:20:42,984 The people that use those are idiots. 505 00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:51,435 So how do you know these girls again? 506 00:20:51,435 --> 00:20:53,607 Some wicca message board. Not important. 507 00:20:53,607 --> 00:20:56,111 My girl is Becca. And her friend is Hayden. 508 00:20:56,111 --> 00:20:57,815 Okay, cool. What's her deal? 509 00:20:57,815 --> 00:20:59,985 - Oh, she's a little older but apparently she likes 510 00:20:59,985 --> 00:21:03,325 younger guys. Also she got diagnosed with some kind 511 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:04,695 of personality disorder thing, 512 00:21:04,695 --> 00:21:06,566 so she's goning through some stuff. 513 00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:08,603 Okay. Cool. Uh, how do I look? 514 00:21:08,603 --> 00:21:10,841 - Dude, you're good. Your drip is on point. 515 00:21:10,874 --> 00:21:13,445 Just be yourself. These girls are chill as hell. 516 00:21:13,445 --> 00:21:15,183 Oh, that's them, here we go. 517 00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:18,923 Yoooo, there she is. What's up Becca? 518 00:21:19,290 --> 00:21:21,596 Aaahh!!! / Aaahh!!! Oh my God! 519 00:21:21,596 --> 00:21:23,299 Oh my bad. I forgot to tell her 520 00:21:23,332 --> 00:21:25,136 I'm the Jersey Devil. Whoops. 521 00:21:25,136 --> 00:21:26,304 Dude, you didn't send a pic? 522 00:21:26,304 --> 00:21:29,076 I did, but it was Jacob Elordi with horns.