1 00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:03,207 Ooh baby, I'm getting the dinger tingles, baby. 2 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,810 I'm feeling a long ball here. 3 00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:06,179 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, baby. 4 00:00:06,312 --> 00:00:07,549 C'mon. Get legs! Get legs! 5 00:00:07,683 --> 00:00:10,320 Dah, yo! He stinks, frickin' trade that guy. 6 00:00:10,354 --> 00:00:11,222 - Whoa. - Yo, there he is. 7 00:00:11,256 --> 00:00:13,426 Yo, you wanna watch the Phils with us? 8 00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:14,529 - No, thanks. 9 00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,603 Hmmm. That's weird. 10 00:00:17,636 --> 00:00:19,706 Yeah, I thought Abe Lincoln was dead. 11 00:00:22,478 --> 00:00:26,118 We must come together! As hard and painful as it may be- 12 00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:28,356 Alright. What the hell's goin' on in here? 13 00:00:28,390 --> 00:00:30,327 Oh, hey Mark. We're just role-playing. 14 00:00:30,427 --> 00:00:31,262 Uh, what? 15 00:00:31,362 --> 00:00:33,233 He's tutoring me in U.S. History. 16 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,942 Wow. My own stepson learning history from another man? 17 00:00:37,976 --> 00:00:39,245 Okay. Fine. You know what? 18 00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:41,617 Don't come crying to me when you flunk outta school! 19 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,222 Ridiculous. You better watch out, David! 20 00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:46,694 I might role play as Lee Harvey Oswald! 21 00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:47,529 What? 22 00:00:47,596 --> 00:00:49,599 I think he means John Wilkes Booth. 23 00:00:51,269 --> 00:00:53,406 ♪ Well, I used to work in hot dog factory ♪ 24 00:00:53,508 --> 00:00:55,410 ♪ until them robots came along, ♪ 25 00:00:55,512 --> 00:00:57,516 ♪ and now there is no job for me, ♪ 26 00:00:57,549 --> 00:00:59,853 ♪ but I get three thousand bucks a month. ♪ 27 00:00:59,987 --> 00:01:04,261 ♪ Thanks to UBI. ♪ 28 00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:07,936 ♪ Now we're Universal Basic Guys. ♪ 29 00:01:07,969 --> 00:01:13,080 ♪ It may not sound like much, but we're still gonna try. ♪ 30 00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:17,487 ♪ We're just Universal Basic Guys. ♪ 31 00:01:27,341 --> 00:01:29,747 Mark. Is something wrong? 32 00:01:29,747 --> 00:01:30,849 I'm good. 33 00:01:30,982 --> 00:01:31,983 Mark. 34 00:01:32,284 --> 00:01:34,422 Okay fine. You know what? How are you gonna ask 35 00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:36,425 Jinglebells to tutor you instead of me?! 36 00:01:36,526 --> 00:01:37,361 Ridiculous. 37 00:01:37,494 --> 00:01:39,900 Uh... he's got a history degree from Cornell? 38 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,002 Pfft! Oh, big deal, okay. 39 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:43,206 Everybody knows Ivy League schools are a joke. 40 00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:45,444 Ask me any question about history. Go ahead. 41 00:01:45,545 --> 00:01:48,784 Okay. Which U.S. President is featured on the $100 bill? 42 00:01:48,884 --> 00:01:50,420 Uh, Ben Franklin. Pfft, easy. 43 00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:52,258 Ben Franklin was actually never president. 44 00:01:52,291 --> 00:01:53,561 The correct answer is none. 45 00:01:53,594 --> 00:01:55,731 Uh, that's not history, Darren. That's a riddle. 46 00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:59,506 How about you, answer me this: Who built the pyramids? 47 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,942 Uh... Egyptians? 48 00:02:01,008 --> 00:02:02,278 Wrong. Aliens, bud. 49 00:02:02,344 --> 00:02:03,714 Oh my God. Seriously? 50 00:02:03,747 --> 00:02:05,851 Uh, yeah. But you're not gonna learn that from David 51 00:02:05,885 --> 00:02:07,822 because they don't put that stuff in the books. 52 00:02:07,856 --> 00:02:10,327 Hun, Darren's been struggling in history class. 53 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:11,362 David's just helping him keep up. 54 00:02:11,563 --> 00:02:14,235 Uh excuse me, you know about this arrangement too, Tammy? 55 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,908 Wow. The betrayals are adding up here. 56 00:02:16,941 --> 00:02:17,876 If you knew anything about 57 00:02:18,177 --> 00:02:20,447 U.S. History, you could have called Mom 'Benedict Arnold.' 58 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,753 Uh, this has nothing to do with breakfast, Darren. 59 00:02:22,786 --> 00:02:23,854 Oh my god. 60 00:02:23,954 --> 00:02:26,192 Oh okay, yeah. Laugh it up. You guys think I'm dumb? 61 00:02:26,225 --> 00:02:28,230 Nobody thinks you're dumb. - I do. 62 00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:30,167 - Darren, enough. Let me tell you something, 63 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,837 I could have easily gone to Harvard. 64 00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,206 I just didn't apply myself. 65 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,243 If I took your history class right now, 66 00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:36,780 I would definitely get an A. 67 00:02:36,847 --> 00:02:40,120 In fact, I bet the teacher would be asking me about history. 68 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,990 Uh yeah, whatever you say, Mark. 69 00:02:42,090 --> 00:02:43,961 Alright, well, I guess we'll see then. 70 00:02:44,262 --> 00:02:45,965 Oh, no. Is he gonna try and go 71 00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,703 back to high school to prove a point? 72 00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:50,474 - Yes. Ughhh. 73 00:02:50,575 --> 00:02:51,544 [school bell] 74 00:02:51,611 --> 00:02:53,413 Oh, man. This is a great idea, Mark. 75 00:02:53,514 --> 00:02:55,284 I've always wanted to go back to high school 76 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,287 so I can finally take Advanced Wood Shop. 77 00:02:57,421 --> 00:03:00,093 But uh... are you sure we're allowed to do this? 78 00:03:00,127 --> 00:03:02,098 Yes, Hank. it's a Public School. 79 00:03:02,131 --> 00:03:03,266 It's like the uh, library. 80 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,571 If you pay taxes, you can go to high school. 81 00:03:06,372 --> 00:03:08,343 Man, this place hasn't changed at all. 82 00:03:08,377 --> 00:03:10,480 - Stop. - Hey, what the hell is this? 83 00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:13,153 You are not authorized to access this facility. 84 00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:14,990 Please scan your student I.D. 85 00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,727 Ay-- move-- Relax, Robocop. 86 00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:17,629 We're just here to learn. 87 00:03:17,662 --> 00:03:19,364 Failure to comply will result in 88 00:03:19,498 --> 00:03:20,802 escalation to school authorities. 89 00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,872 Alright, alright. Relax. Okay, we're leaving. 90 00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,075 Go go go! Hank! C'mon, c'mon. 91 00:03:24,108 --> 00:03:26,179 Security alert. Code 221! 92 00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:28,751 Ah! Alright he got me, he-- he got me! 93 00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:32,224 So, why are two grown men trying to enter my high school? 94 00:03:32,257 --> 00:03:33,594 Ma'am, we're just here to learn. 95 00:03:33,628 --> 00:03:35,497 If you're looking to further your education, 96 00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:37,133 there are plenty of adult programs 97 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,671 that might be more age-appropriate. 98 00:03:38,771 --> 00:03:40,608 Ah, c'mon, dude. I really need this, okay? 99 00:03:40,675 --> 00:03:43,548 I gotta show my step-son, I can get an A in U.S. History. 100 00:03:43,581 --> 00:03:44,382 I'm sorry. 101 00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:47,053 I'm not gonna defy school policy so 102 00:03:47,154 --> 00:03:49,058 you can prove a point to your step-son. 103 00:03:49,158 --> 00:03:50,393 Alright. Well then I guess I gotta 104 00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:51,697 sue you for age discrimination. 105 00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:53,735 Alright well, those are the magic words. 106 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,236 Not touchin' that one. 107 00:03:57,107 --> 00:03:59,445 Uh... Hello? 108 00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:09,632 - Don't touch that! - Oh! 109 00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:11,469 Uh... Mr. Jackson? 110 00:04:11,570 --> 00:04:13,340 The wood shop is off-limits. 111 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,545 Oh uh... it's me, Hank Hoagies. 112 00:04:15,645 --> 00:04:18,016 I was hoping to uh, take advanced wood shop 113 00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:20,721 and, uh, finally learn how to use all the big tools. 114 00:04:20,821 --> 00:04:23,293 You can't, the wood shop is no more. 115 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,430 Oh uh, sorry to hear that, uh... 116 00:04:25,564 --> 00:04:27,768 Well I uh, I finally finished my uh, 117 00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:29,906 birdhouse project if you wanna see it. 118 00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,248 Hm. Impressive craftsmanship. 119 00:04:34,415 --> 00:04:37,622 So, you want to take Advanced Woodshop, eh? 120 00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:38,891 Uh, yeah. 121 00:04:39,024 --> 00:04:40,127 Well, then. 122 00:04:40,294 --> 00:04:42,030 Let's get started. 123 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,834 Woah! Uh, heheh. 124 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:47,642 Oh, no. 125 00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:48,777 -Sup. - What are you doing? 126 00:04:48,944 --> 00:04:51,482 What does it look like I'm doing. I'm taking ninth grade 127 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,618 U .S. History, bud. 128 00:04:52,652 --> 00:04:54,389 Are you even allowed in school? 129 00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:56,726 - Boom. - Ugh. Mark, please. 130 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,599 Okay, I was wrong. You're actually a genius, okay? 131 00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,603 Uh no, Darren. That was not sincere. 132 00:05:01,737 --> 00:05:04,208 I'm gonna earn your respect by acing this class. 133 00:05:04,308 --> 00:05:06,345 Now if you excuse me, I'm here for school, 134 00:05:06,412 --> 00:05:07,882 not socializin'. 135 00:05:07,915 --> 00:05:09,452 Morning history, fam! 136 00:05:09,553 --> 00:05:11,355 So uh, as you may have noticed, 137 00:05:11,456 --> 00:05:14,461 We have a new student in class today. 138 00:05:14,494 --> 00:05:19,338 Yeah. Let's give a warm welcome to Mark Hoagies. 139 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:24,215 So, what happened to Woodshop? 140 00:05:24,315 --> 00:05:26,887 Damn Superintendent pulled our funding 141 00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:29,325 for more computer classes. 142 00:05:29,391 --> 00:05:30,293 Oh, that ain't right. 143 00:05:30,427 --> 00:05:32,665 Woodshop was my favorite class in high school. 144 00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,869 You know, it warms my heart to see that 145 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:39,045 someone still understands the value of craftsmanship. 146 00:05:39,212 --> 00:05:40,581 Now, where was I? 147 00:05:40,815 --> 00:05:41,950 Ah, yes! 148 00:05:42,084 --> 00:05:46,258 Anyone can build a birdhouse, but to pass Advanced Woodshop, 149 00:05:46,292 --> 00:05:49,365 you must make something much more complex... 150 00:05:49,533 --> 00:05:51,269 'The Marionette.' 151 00:05:51,302 --> 00:05:53,306 Oooh. Do I get to use all the tools? 152 00:05:53,373 --> 00:05:55,411 Ah-bup-bup. One step at a time. 153 00:05:55,612 --> 00:05:57,615 We'll start with the table saw. 154 00:05:57,715 --> 00:05:58,550 Hell yeah. 155 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:02,659 Y'okie-dokie. Can anyone tell me some of the motivations behind 156 00:06:02,692 --> 00:06:05,397 Andrew Jackson's Indian Removal Act? 157 00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:06,567 Mmmark. 158 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,537 Uh, the government wanted to hide the discovery 159 00:06:08,637 --> 00:06:11,242 of ancient alien technology on Native American lands? 160 00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:12,745 Heh, based. 161 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:18,123 Haha, Interesting guess, but gonna be a no from me, dawg. 162 00:06:18,524 --> 00:06:20,561 Uh. Anyone else? Darren. 163 00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:22,264 President Jackson believed it would 164 00:06:22,297 --> 00:06:24,034 open up land for white settlers. 165 00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:25,671 Correctamundo. 166 00:06:25,771 --> 00:06:28,409 Looks like someone did their reading last night, dawg. 167 00:06:28,443 --> 00:06:30,180 Uh... heh, yessir. 168 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,518 Alright history fam. 169 00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:34,990 Don't forget, tomorrow we've got a quizzorino, 170 00:06:35,023 --> 00:06:38,162 so make sure you smash that reading tonight. 171 00:06:38,329 --> 00:06:39,733 Oh hey! Mark! 172 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,970 I think it's pretty rad what you're doing, man. 173 00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:44,709 Takes major cojones to go back to high school, you know. 174 00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:46,379 Thank you, Mr. Bouchard. 'Preciate it. 175 00:06:46,412 --> 00:06:47,982 Oh, c'mon. Class is over. 176 00:06:48,082 --> 00:06:51,288 You can call me Jared. Been a long time, brotha. Hoo. 177 00:06:51,422 --> 00:06:52,592 Wait we-- we know each other? 178 00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,261 Yeah! We went to high school together. 179 00:06:54,295 --> 00:06:55,363 Stormin' Mormon? 180 00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:57,836 Uhhh. Damn dude. I didn't uh, 181 00:06:57,869 --> 00:07:00,675 recognize you with the long uh... long hair. 182 00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:03,714 Yeah. Yeah, I've been growing it out since the divorce. 183 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,587 Ooh, sorry to hear that, but it looks good, though, 184 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:10,594 It's got a real early uh... early 2000s Undertaker vibe. 185 00:07:10,695 --> 00:07:11,931 Ah thanks, brotha. 186 00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,903 Anyway, uh, let me know if you ever wanna grab 187 00:07:14,937 --> 00:07:17,107 a drink and catch up outside of class. 188 00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:18,009 Wait. Drinks? 189 00:07:18,242 --> 00:07:19,913 I thought Mormons weren't allowed to do that. 190 00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:23,620 Yeah well, you know, left the wife and that life behind. 191 00:07:23,653 --> 00:07:25,991 Problem is, most of my friends were through the church. 192 00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:28,965 I'm kinda in the market for some dude pals to bro down with. 193 00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:32,137 - You feel me? - Uh yeah, maybe another time. 194 00:07:32,271 --> 00:07:35,511 I got a uh... y'know, I got that quizzorino to study for, so... 195 00:07:35,544 --> 00:07:38,984 Right on, brotha. Okay. Keep crushing it. Bang! 196 00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:44,796 Hey Tam, you mind uh, turning that down? 197 00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:46,098 I'm trying to study over here. 198 00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:48,069 Oh. Well, it looks like you're on your phone. 199 00:07:48,103 --> 00:07:51,275 Uh, no. I'm actually watching educational history videos. 200 00:07:51,375 --> 00:07:53,947 Well, maybe you should, I don't know, read the textbook? 201 00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:54,882 Pfft! Yeah, right. 202 00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:56,787 You want me to read from some boring book when 203 00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:58,122 I can just watch a 4 minute video 204 00:07:58,155 --> 00:07:59,926 that sums it all up with fun animations? 205 00:07:59,926 --> 00:08:00,995 Get out of here. - Hey there, Mark. 206 00:08:01,095 --> 00:08:03,900 You wanna come study with us? - Uh, I'm good, Scrooge. 207 00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:06,172 Okay, I don't need the Ghost of Christmas Past 208 00:08:06,239 --> 00:08:07,675 comin' to teach me history. 209 00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:09,846 Uh... I'm Martin Van Buren. 210 00:08:09,913 --> 00:08:11,550 Martin-- what? Who the hell is that? 211 00:08:12,350 --> 00:08:16,225 Alright, history fam. Most of you slayed this thing. 212 00:08:16,258 --> 00:08:17,529 Nice work. 213 00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:19,899 Ms. Mia. Well done. 214 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,070 D-money. Nice work. 215 00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:23,740 Mark. 216 00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:26,278 What the hell? 217 00:08:27,748 --> 00:08:30,688 Hey, listen, Mark. I can recommend a great tutor. 218 00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:33,026 His name's David and he's really smart. 219 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:34,395 Heheheheh. 220 00:08:34,428 --> 00:08:35,865 Yeah okay, laugh it up, Darren. 221 00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:37,535 Your friends know you like anime? 222 00:08:37,568 --> 00:08:39,839 Uh. We all like anime. 223 00:08:39,873 --> 00:08:41,677 Pfft! Yeah well, I guess this is what happens 224 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:44,081 when everybody gets a participation trophy. 225 00:08:44,181 --> 00:08:45,183 Oh my God, what? 226 00:08:45,216 --> 00:08:47,622 If anyone's getting a participation trophy, 227 00:08:47,722 --> 00:08:49,157 it's you, Mr. C minus. 228 00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:50,928 Bullying detected! 229 00:08:50,995 --> 00:08:52,599 Please refrain from harassment or 230 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,001 I will be forced to take action. 231 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,305 Come on, Dar. Don't stoop to his level. 232 00:08:56,439 --> 00:08:58,109 Bullying him on social media. 233 00:08:58,142 --> 00:08:59,445 Everything cool over here? 234 00:08:59,546 --> 00:09:02,450 Yeah, all good. What's with the T-800? 235 00:09:02,484 --> 00:09:04,254 Oh, it's some new security robot. 236 00:09:04,287 --> 00:09:07,027 I guess it just got some kind of Anti-Bullying upgrade. 237 00:09:07,127 --> 00:09:07,928 Damn, man. 238 00:09:08,195 --> 00:09:09,833 Can you imagine if we had one of those when we 239 00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:12,104 went to high school? The thing would be going berserk. 240 00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:14,141 We were giving each other wedgies left and right. 241 00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:16,245 Totally. I still have a scar on my perineum. 242 00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,349 So, boys, how was school? 243 00:09:18,382 --> 00:09:21,021 I got a B on the history quiz. - Uh, it was B-minus. 244 00:09:21,054 --> 00:09:23,125 Mark got a C-minus. - Go to your room, please. 245 00:09:23,225 --> 00:09:26,967 Because you got a C-minus? - Because... you're bullying me. 246 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:27,802 - Grow up. 247 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,706 See this, Tam? He's been doing this non-stop. 248 00:09:29,739 --> 00:09:31,610 It's very hard to focus in class when Darren is 249 00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:32,745 constantly giving me crap. 250 00:09:32,845 --> 00:09:34,315 Bro, you don't even read the books. 251 00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:37,721 Uh. Yeah well... I can't learn using traditional methods, okay. 252 00:09:37,755 --> 00:09:40,326 They're too boring for me. Ok-- I'm neuro... detergent. 253 00:09:40,393 --> 00:09:41,461 - Pfft! - Darren! 254 00:09:41,495 --> 00:09:42,999 Hahaha yeah, laugh it up, Darren. 255 00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:46,172 ADHD is actually very common and in geniuses. 256 00:09:46,205 --> 00:09:48,644 Albert Einstein, why do you think he has the crazy hair? 257 00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:50,380 Because he... didn't know where his.... 258 00:09:50,581 --> 00:09:52,017 hairbrush was all the time, y-- 259 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,522 Well, maybe academics isn't for you, which is fine. 260 00:09:54,589 --> 00:09:55,958 Yeah, Mark. I agree. 261 00:09:56,058 --> 00:09:57,962 You should stop going to my high school. 262 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:01,268 Speaking of academics, David's here. 263 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,705 [phone] 264 00:10:03,138 --> 00:10:05,911 Hun, don't be afraid to ask the teacher for extra help. 265 00:10:06,011 --> 00:10:09,018 I'm here to fill your mind, young Padawan. 266 00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:12,357 Oh don't worry about that. I won't. 267 00:10:14,227 --> 00:10:16,366 Yooo. There he is. 268 00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:17,535 Yo, there's my guy. 269 00:10:17,635 --> 00:10:19,539 What's up, dude, what do you want to drink? 270 00:10:19,772 --> 00:10:22,678 Ah-da-bop-bop-bah. Man... y'know, I dunno, 271 00:10:22,712 --> 00:10:25,250 this whole bar scene is sort of new to me. 272 00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:26,886 Maybe a Strawberry Daiquiri? 273 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:30,561 Is that weird? Yeah, that's weird. Okay. 274 00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:34,702 What about a Sex on the Beach? 275 00:10:35,537 --> 00:10:38,075 Uh... Yeah. Maybe we start with a beer. 276 00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:40,948 Yes. A beer. Classic. Love that idea. 277 00:10:41,082 --> 00:10:45,525 So I walk in and this dude is just going to town on her, man. 278 00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:47,294 I mean, it was bruuu-tal. 279 00:10:47,361 --> 00:10:48,196 Ah. Sucks, man. 280 00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:52,672 But it's all good. I still got my other passion: teaching. 281 00:10:52,706 --> 00:10:54,709 Let me tell you, there's nothing better 282 00:10:54,743 --> 00:10:56,111 than seeing those kids light 283 00:10:56,211 --> 00:10:58,818 up when I blow their frickin' minds. Heh. 284 00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:02,692 Well, except... maybe getting my mind blown by 285 00:11:02,726 --> 00:11:04,996 that milfarino with the Richard Simmons 286 00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:07,601 hair at your two o'clock. Sup. 287 00:11:07,635 --> 00:11:09,572 Yeah, totally. 288 00:11:09,606 --> 00:11:11,843 So listen, uh, you're looking for a wingman, 289 00:11:11,943 --> 00:11:13,379 I'm looking to get an A in your class, 290 00:11:13,446 --> 00:11:16,218 so... How about we, ya know, help each other out? 291 00:11:16,318 --> 00:11:18,256 Ah, I feel ya. I feel ya. 292 00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:21,128 Looking for a little 'extra help' from ya boi? 293 00:11:21,162 --> 00:11:23,366 Ay, I'm just saying, otherwise I'm gonna have 294 00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:24,969 to go home and study... 295 00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:27,775 Okay. Alright. I hear that. Let's do it, brotha. 296 00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:30,079 Yoo, let's gooo. 297 00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:37,828 ♪ [action] 298 00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:08,958 Think I'm gonna call him "Baseball Boy." 299 00:12:09,058 --> 00:12:11,963 This is some fine craftsmanship, Mr. Hoagies. 300 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:15,370 A-plus. Congratulations, you've passed. 301 00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,007 Oh, wow. That's awesome! 302 00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:19,277 So, uh, can I use that big tool now? 303 00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:23,654 Oh... I don't know if you're ready for that one. 304 00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:25,156 But you gave me an A-plus. 305 00:12:25,323 --> 00:12:29,799 Listen, Hank. Beneath that tarp is a very powerful tool. 306 00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:33,072 Forbidden to all but the most committed craftsman. 307 00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:35,009 I mean, uh, I'm pretty committed. 308 00:12:35,042 --> 00:12:37,515 I spent 15 years working on that birdhouse. 309 00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,953 Okay, but you must understand, 310 00:12:40,086 --> 00:12:44,327 once I show you its secrets, there's no going back. 311 00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:46,833 Yeah, okay. I want to learn all the tools. 312 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,037 Well then... it's time for you to 313 00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:51,643 take your craft to the next level, 314 00:12:51,677 --> 00:12:55,517 to bring your creation to life! 315 00:12:57,821 --> 00:13:01,428 Uh... Mr. Jackson? You okay? 316 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,034 Yoohoo! Up here. 317 00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:09,244 Woah... uh... hi? Wait, are you? 318 00:13:09,377 --> 00:13:10,714 Mr. Jackson? 319 00:13:10,714 --> 00:13:13,586 Please. Call me by my puppet name: 320 00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:15,624 Chippy. 321 00:13:15,924 --> 00:13:18,128 Uh... Okay. 322 00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:20,366 So, how was school? 323 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,402 It was okay. 324 00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:25,978 Whoaaa. Look at you, Mark. A-plus. That's amazing! 325 00:13:26,078 --> 00:13:28,349 - How'd you do, Darren? - B-plus. 326 00:13:28,449 --> 00:13:29,686 That's not bad! 327 00:13:29,719 --> 00:13:31,857 I mean, it's no A-plus, but hey, you know, 328 00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:33,359 academics aren't for everyone, bud. 329 00:13:33,393 --> 00:13:37,300 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to attend my study session. 330 00:13:39,438 --> 00:13:40,975 Yo, let me get two more 331 00:13:41,008 --> 00:13:43,647 Pineapple Upside Down Cake shots. 332 00:13:43,747 --> 00:13:46,452 Oh, wait. Make that three. 333 00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:47,988 Uh nah, I'm okay uh... 334 00:13:48,022 --> 00:13:49,892 I actually gotta get out of here so... 335 00:13:49,992 --> 00:13:51,462 Can I get those answers? 336 00:13:51,495 --> 00:13:52,831 Oh yeah, yeah. My b. 337 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,334 One sec, babe. Hold on. 338 00:14:01,348 --> 00:14:03,019 Anyone uh... see Mr. B? 339 00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:04,822 Maybe he was out late last night. 340 00:14:04,856 --> 00:14:08,864 Gah, um, good morning, good morrrrning. 341 00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,770 Blah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah. Blah! 342 00:14:12,137 --> 00:14:14,542 Ok, stuuds. Uh, pop quiz: 343 00:14:14,609 --> 00:14:19,485 guess who got some top-notch boingo-bananas last night. 344 00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:22,123 This guyyyyy. 345 00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:24,294 Okay, what was I doing? 346 00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:27,902 Oh yeah. Last quiz before the big kahuna. 347 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,908 Uh, Mr. Boosh, uh, you need a hand there, or? 348 00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:35,517 Uh no, I got plenty of that last night. Hahaha. 349 00:14:36,553 --> 00:14:41,629 Uh, this is a flyer for intramural basketball. 350 00:14:42,765 --> 00:14:44,067 - Bro! - Oh, God. 351 00:14:44,101 --> 00:14:46,606 Ohh, ow, my head, my head... Oooh... 352 00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:49,410 Ah, frickin' Stormin' Mormon. 353 00:14:52,334 --> 00:14:53,520 So he's in rehab? 354 00:14:53,553 --> 00:14:54,454 Yep. It's ridiculous. 355 00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:56,192 I mean, the guy was barely even buzzed. 356 00:14:56,192 --> 00:14:59,397 Mark's just upset because now he can't cheat on the final exam. 357 00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,203 Wow, wow. I see how it is. 358 00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:05,142 I couldn't possibly be gettin' good grades because I'm smart. 359 00:15:05,176 --> 00:15:06,846 Gotta be cheating, eh? Unbelievable. 360 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,721 I literally saw Mr. Bouchard hand you the answers at TJ's. 361 00:15:10,754 --> 00:15:13,560 The other day, he winked at you after handing your test back. 362 00:15:13,593 --> 00:15:14,663 C'mon, man. 363 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,599 Mark? Is this true? 364 00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:19,371 You know what? Yeah. Yeah, it is. 365 00:15:19,471 --> 00:15:21,242 He's been giving me the answers, okay? 366 00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:22,912 But that is not cheating! 367 00:15:22,945 --> 00:15:24,214 How is that not cheating? 368 00:15:24,247 --> 00:15:26,385 I have ADHD, okay. I'm allowed extra help. 369 00:15:26,452 --> 00:15:28,824 Uh, I don't know if being given the answers 370 00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:30,259 qualifies as "extra help." 371 00:15:30,359 --> 00:15:32,097 Well, some people study to get an A, 372 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:34,000 and others use their people skills, okay. 373 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,071 It's just different paths up the same mountain. 374 00:15:36,104 --> 00:15:37,474 'Cause I got news for you, Darren, 375 00:15:37,608 --> 00:15:40,145 in the real world, all that matters is results. 376 00:15:40,212 --> 00:15:41,950 It doesn't matter how you get there. 377 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,987 Argh, this is pretty pathetic, Mark. 378 00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:45,557 You cheated at ninth grade history. 379 00:15:45,591 --> 00:15:46,492 You know what? 380 00:15:46,593 --> 00:15:48,362 Now I know how Millard Fillmore must have felt 381 00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:51,369 when he was abandoned by the Whigs at the 1852 Convention. 382 00:15:51,402 --> 00:15:53,840 Guy signs a frickin' Compromise of 1850 383 00:15:53,873 --> 00:15:55,844 just to keep the country from falling apart 384 00:15:55,844 --> 00:15:57,681 and what did he get for it? No nomination! 385 00:15:57,781 --> 00:16:00,253 You know why? Because it's always the visionaries 386 00:16:00,286 --> 00:16:02,190 who get thrown under the bus by the same people 387 00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,726 who should be appreciating them. 388 00:16:11,676 --> 00:16:13,146 - Hey, Mark. - Oh, great. 389 00:16:13,246 --> 00:16:15,584 You hear to bust my balls about cheating? 390 00:16:15,617 --> 00:16:17,386 Mark, you weren't cheating. 391 00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:19,024 Pfft. What are you talking about? 392 00:16:19,058 --> 00:16:20,493 Bouchard was giving me all the answers. 393 00:16:20,528 --> 00:16:23,833 Yeah, it's called learning. Bouchard was just tutoring you. 394 00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:27,306 The "answers" you were reading were actually just study guides. 395 00:16:27,406 --> 00:16:30,012 Huh. Get the hell out of here, How about that? 396 00:16:30,012 --> 00:16:32,852 So I was thinking... maybe we could study together. 397 00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:37,059 Wait, do you really mean that, or are you just being a bully? 398 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,497 Yeah. You-- you really know this stuff. 399 00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:42,572 Really appreciate that, Darren. But wh-- what about David? 400 00:16:42,672 --> 00:16:45,309 Honestly... I think you know the material better than him. 401 00:16:45,409 --> 00:16:49,083 Plus, his costumes are becoming increasingly problematic. 402 00:16:50,854 --> 00:16:53,393 So uh... you're a puppet now? 403 00:16:53,426 --> 00:16:57,200 Indeed. Like wood shop, I too was dying. 404 00:16:57,233 --> 00:17:00,741 I had to get out of that decrepit old flesh sack. 405 00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:02,511 But... uh... how? 406 00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:04,548 The Unspooler! 407 00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:05,884 Whoa. 408 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,759 I built it myself, based on the drawings of Geppetto Lucignolo, 409 00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:13,800 an 18th century puppeteering genius from Florence. 410 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,004 Lucignolo believed that the mind 411 00:17:16,038 --> 00:17:18,877 was intricately woven, like a fine thread, 412 00:17:18,911 --> 00:17:20,680 throughout our entire nervous system, 413 00:17:20,714 --> 00:17:23,085 and that if you could unspool this thread, 414 00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:25,590 you could transplant your soul. 415 00:17:25,690 --> 00:17:26,927 Oh, wow. Pretty cool. 416 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,196 Pretty cool indeed. 417 00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:32,237 Using this machine here, I discarded my dying body... 418 00:17:32,337 --> 00:17:34,374 ... for this sturdy wooden one, 419 00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,580 free from the frailties of flesh. 420 00:17:36,613 --> 00:17:39,150 So join me, Hank. And together we can live 421 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,354 in the wood shop, puppet friends forever. 422 00:17:41,354 --> 00:17:46,231 For today you become... Baseball Boy. 423 00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:49,438 Hm, yeah uh... I think maybe this tool 424 00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:51,876 is a little too advanced for me. 425 00:17:51,976 --> 00:17:54,314 Alright, everyone. As you may have heard, 426 00:17:54,348 --> 00:17:56,620 Mr. Bouchard will be taking a leave of absence, 427 00:17:56,653 --> 00:17:59,625 so we'll have a proctor over- seeing your final exam today. 428 00:17:59,658 --> 00:18:01,227 Whoa, whoa, whoa. How you gonna replace 429 00:18:01,361 --> 00:18:02,998 Bouchard with a frickin' security robot? 430 00:18:03,098 --> 00:18:04,569 We want Mr. Bouchard back. 431 00:18:04,602 --> 00:18:05,771 -Yeah! - Seriously 432 00:18:05,838 --> 00:18:06,640 Yeah, well, too bad. 433 00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:08,509 STU doesn't show up to class drunk. 434 00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:10,881 And the best part, no tenure. 435 00:18:10,981 --> 00:18:12,851 I will now distribute your exams. 436 00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:13,953 Wait Scantron? 437 00:18:14,087 --> 00:18:15,757 Yo, this is supposed to be essay questions. 438 00:18:15,857 --> 00:18:17,159 No talking! 439 00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:21,167 Psst! Mark! This isn't what we studied. 440 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:22,972 I know. I don't know any of this stuff. 441 00:18:23,005 --> 00:18:24,842 This test is like a third of our grade! 442 00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:26,345 Oh man, this ain't right. 443 00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:29,585 Hey uh, R2D2, I think you got the wrong test here, bud. 444 00:18:29,685 --> 00:18:30,486 No talking. 445 00:18:30,954 --> 00:18:33,893 This test is generated by STU based on the latest textbooks. 446 00:18:33,926 --> 00:18:35,496 Maybe you just didn't study. 447 00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:36,432 Bullying detected. 448 00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:37,935 Please refrain from harassment or 449 00:18:38,002 --> 00:18:39,437 security protocols will be taken. 450 00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,877 Ugh, this anti-bullying software is way too sensitive 451 00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:43,211 They gotta fix that. 452 00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:47,186 Yo, Darren. Yeah, that's right you, 453 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,790 you frickin' nerd! 454 00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,761 Yeah, take that, you geek! 455 00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:51,863 Mark, what the hell? 456 00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:52,898 Yo, just trust me, Dar. 457 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,606 Severe bullying detected. Initiating security protocols. 458 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,841 Oh, God. 459 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,243 Uh, holy crap. 460 00:19:00,046 --> 00:19:01,749 Mark! Run! 461 00:19:01,783 --> 00:19:03,920 Aaaaaaaahhhhh! 462 00:19:04,053 --> 00:19:06,157 Welp, this is gonna be a lawsuit. 463 00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:08,495 Everyone, uh... test postponed. 464 00:19:10,867 --> 00:19:13,138 I mean, uh-- do I have to become a marionette? 465 00:19:13,205 --> 00:19:15,209 Can't we, you know, just be friends or...? 466 00:19:15,309 --> 00:19:16,478 No, no, no, no. 467 00:19:16,579 --> 00:19:18,817 Do you understand how lonely it is 468 00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:21,756 being the only living marionette around? 469 00:19:21,756 --> 00:19:26,699 Yeah, I hear you, but I think I'm going to head back, yeah. 470 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,201 It's too late, Hank. 471 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,473 I'm afraid there is no going back. 472 00:19:30,507 --> 00:19:32,812 Now that you know all the tools, 473 00:19:32,912 --> 00:19:34,782 you know my secret. 474 00:19:36,552 --> 00:19:39,558 This school has a zero tolerance bullying policy. 475 00:19:39,592 --> 00:19:43,566 You must die! You must die! You must die! 476 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,252 Hank? What the hell is going on in here? 477 00:19:53,352 --> 00:19:56,959 Oh hey, Mark, would you mind, uh, saving me? 478 00:19:57,728 --> 00:19:58,997 Woah! What the hell? 479 00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,567 Woodshop is closed! 480 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:04,174 No computers allowed in the wood shop! 481 00:20:04,207 --> 00:20:06,178 Security alert 285: 482 00:20:06,211 --> 00:20:07,915 malevolent entity detected. 483 00:20:07,948 --> 00:20:09,819 Initiating maximum force. 484 00:20:10,286 --> 00:20:12,824 Whoa holy... Yo this is pretty nuts. 485 00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:25,818 Take this! 486 00:20:25,884 --> 00:20:27,721 Uh, I'm thinkin' we get the hell out of here, 487 00:20:27,821 --> 00:20:29,725 what are you think? - Uh okay, yeah. 488 00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:38,242 Man, I guess high school really has changed. 489 00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:39,745 You can say that again. 490 00:20:55,043 --> 00:20:57,514 Goodbye, old friend. 491 00:21:05,329 --> 00:21:08,603 So, Mr. Bouchard. You're looking fresh. 492 00:21:08,703 --> 00:21:11,810 Three months of rehab-arino will do that to you. 493 00:21:11,943 --> 00:21:14,381 I guess you could say I had my own, personal 494 00:21:14,414 --> 00:21:15,750 "Whiskey Rebellion." 495 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,687 Alright well, we're proud of you, 496 00:21:17,721 --> 00:21:19,725 and the students are grateful to have you back. 497 00:21:19,759 --> 00:21:21,494 Alright well, catch ya on the flip! 498 00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,572 STU? Where have you been? 499 00:21:26,605 --> 00:21:30,143 Time to bring back woodshop.