(brooding music)
(graphic whooshing)
(dramatic music)
(tense ominous music)
(graphic whooshing)
(keys clicking)
(man laughing) (typewriter whirring)
(dramatic music) (static crackling)
(static crackles)
(upbeat jazz music)
(horn honking)
- Who are you?
- I'm the devil, baby!
- [Woman] Where are we?
- [Man] We in the devil's hunting ground, baby.
(clown choking)
- Now, I know this might look a little odd,
but I promise you, I'm not crazy.
I actually used to like these things, you know, clowns.
I even dressed up like one for Halloween once.
See, that's me.
So now how did I go from this to this?
Well, that's a funny story.
Now, before you even ask, no,
I wasn't touched by an uncle in a clown costume.
I wasn't abandoned by my parents at a circus.
And despite how this looks,
I really don't wanna fuck one of them either.
I just really, really, really hate clowns.
Not so funny now, are you clown?
You know that old saying, all the world loves a clown?
Well, I gotta call bullshit like on an epic level.
I think as long as there have been clowns in this world,
there have been people who hate them,
people who despise them,
people who want to see them suffer,
because here's the thing about clowns,
they're not funny, they're not whimsical,
they're not cute, they're frightening.
They're horrible.
They're fucking evil.
A mockery of man at our worst, a monster in makeup at best.
And it's okay to kill monsters.
In fact, as crazy as it sounds,
that's what all the best stories are about.
(birds chirping)
That's a word that gets thrown around a lot, crazy.
I wasn't born a psychopath,
but I wasn't made a sociopath either.
No, I'm something different and I'm walking my own path.
Now don't get me wrong,
I don't wanna just kill a clown or two for kicks.
I wanna kill all of them and so I am.
I'm going to kill every single last one of them.
* Don't need to see your features, I know what you are *
* One of them creatures squeezing legions from a car *
* Your rictus grinning doesn't spin a spell on me *
* Giving me shivers when I hear the charivari *
* Midway between the thing and imminent disaster *
* If there's a ring you can be sure that there's a master *
* I saw the elephant, you swore it was a mouse *
* Making my escapin' while you're papering the house *
* Because you're clownin'
- [Dema] Paul, single print we could use yet?
- [Paul] No, ma'am, everything we have is here.
It all belongs to the dead guy or the apartment owner.
- [Dema] And the friend's alibi checks out?
- Yeah, apparently he's at a rehab in Vegas right now.
I think he's an entertainer or something.
- All right, thanks.
What a waste.
- [Wayne] What's a waste?
- This case of time.
Some bum brings a broad back to his buddy's place,
she polishes his knob, cleans his clock,
then she cleans them out.
Case closed.
- So you think you got it all figured out do you?
- And you have a better idea?
Do you?
(horn honking)
- Yeah, let's just go with your theory.
I don't even want to know what happened in this room.
- Tommy, this is good.
This is really good.
- Yeah, you think so?
- I do.
I definitely think your writing is getting much stronger.
And I love how the hero killer
now has a nose like a trophy.
But I am a bit curious, I mean, why the outside setting?
Does he wanna get caught?
- Maybe he thinks he never will.
- I think, you know, the odds are greater than that.
Everyone gets caught.
- Honestly, Doc,
I think I've just been feeling more inspired lately.
Maybe it has something to do with being back home,
back where it all started,
makes my muse go a little mad.
- And are you feeling a little bit more mad lately, Tommy?
- Well, I haven't murdered anybody,
if that's what you're asking.
- Tommy, that's not what I'm saying at all.
I mean, you have made so much progress
in the last couple of years,
but we still have a lot of work to do.
- I really feel like this part
of the therapy is helping, Doc.
I spent a lot of time thinking about this story,
plotting out all the little details.
- Look, you started off writing as part of your therapy,
but now your stories are so good.
You should do something with them someday.
I mean it, Tommy.
You started writing your fears, not facing them.
Have you had any episodes lately or?
- You mean aside from seeing them at fast food franchises,
crazy car salesman, all over the news?
Not to mention that clowns
seem to be the new zombies in horror movies.
Other than that, no, I'm good, Doc.
- Well, I mean it, Tommy, you're writing is terrific
and I really hope you do something with it
rather than filing it away and forgetting about it.
- I'll think about it, Doc, I promise.
- Oh, and Tommy, after reading your latest story,
I advise that you stay away from that.
(horn honking)
- Hey, kids!
(metal banging)
Oh, hey, there young fella.
Long night, huh?
I said long night, huh?
I know I sure could use a drinker or two.
(metal rattling) (ominous music)
What's going on here?
Don't be messing around here, kid.
(sock whooshing)
Help, help!
(sock whooshing)
(door rattling)
Oh, god, oh, god, mister.
Please don't hurt me, I'm just a clown.
Everybody loves a clown.
(sock thuds) (clown groaning)
(sock thuds)
(slow tempo ominous music) (coins rattling)
(children chattering)
(coins rattling)
(Wayne sighs)
- All right, hot shot, what do you got?
Where's the murder weapon?
- Still looking, sir.
Apparently nobody saw or heard anything,
and since there's no cameras back here.
- Well, you guys are detectives detect already.
I want every single inch of these hallways searched
and if the weapon's here, I want it found now.
(insects chirping)
(car engine revving)
- What?
No, Mom, of course I'm listening.
Yeah, I'm really excited to hear about your trip.
I can't wait.
Mom, I'm not dating Jason anymore.
It just didn't work out, that's why.
He, he spent all of his time
on social networks and not in the real world.
Yeah, I know, I know, I liked him too.
- Hello, Eden.
Do you have a minute?
I mean, I'll come back.
- Bastian, I'm on my way out.
Can we do this Monday, please.
- Yeah, right, sorry, sorry.
- No, Mom.
No, it was Bastian, he works here.
No, not my type.
- Come on, kitten, let's go already.
The party starts meow.
- Shelly, it's my mom, okay?
Can I meet you there later?
- Better hurry up, I don't wanna be left alone
with the cougars and the vultures all by myself.
- You'll be fine, just go.
- Fine.
Tell your mom I said hi.
- Sorry, Mom, it was Shelly.
Yeah, we're going to a bachelorette party
and she's waiting on me.
All right, look, look, Mom, I gotta go, okay?
Yeah, I'll be careful tonight.
I love you too.
All right, call me when you get back.
Bye.
(traffic humming)
(rock music) (group chattering)
- Busy night?
- Calm before the storm, my man.
Bachelorette party's coming in later.
It's gonna be nuts.
- Oh man, cool chicks all looking to have a good time,
sounds like the perfect place for me to be.
- Your funeral.
What's you drinking?
- Uh, whiskey Irish, please.
(liquid splashing)
(group cheering)
(nose sniffing)
- (gasps) Where's that damn mallrat at?
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
(toilet flushing)
What are you gawking at?
It's just makeup, mind your own business.
(water splashing)
You wanna take a picture, rooster boy, it'll last longer.
Everybody loves a clown.
(rock music)
- Ooh.
- I'm sorry.
- Uh, me too, sorry.
Thanks, gotta go, you know?
(group cheering)
- Yeah.
Whoo.
Oh, yeah.
(liquid splashing)
(bottle rattling)
(group chattering)
- Look, I was out of line earlier.
- No, man, no, don't worry about it.
I was being a dick.
Sorry, I do so many these shows,
the girls kinda, they just get to me after awhile.
Let me buy you a drink, make it up to you.
Bartender, let me get two whiskeys.
One for me and my buddy here.
(slow tempo rock music)
Hey, man, I'm gonna go take a piss real quick.
I'll be right back.
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
* Say goodbye yesterday
You again?
- Yeah, me again.
Um, I just wanted to say bye.
Maybe I'll see you around.
- Yeah, I'd like that.
I'd really like that.
- Um, I guess I better go.
- Yeah, me too.
- Oh, this feels so good.
Oh.
* To tell you there'd be another tomorrow *
* What if I need you
I don't even know your name.
(fist thuds) (clown groaning)
* To tell you there'd be another tomorrow *
- Oh, hey, oh shit, um, I'm sorry.
I was just wondering if you were still here.
Wow, is he okay?
- Yeah, he's fine.
Just had a little bit too much to drink.
But he'll be fine.
Have a killer headache in the morning.
* Another tomorrow
- Hey, listen, um,
I was, this might be a little bit too forward,
but I was wondering if you might
wanna stick around for a while,
maybe grab a drink unless you're-
- Yeah, yeah, I'd love that.
Um, uh, let me just, let me finish taking care of him
and, and I can meet you back to back inside.
- [Eden] Okay.
* Tell you there'd be another tomorrow *
* Another tomorrow
- Where were we?
Oh, yeah.
- Oh, god.
- You die.
- No, no, god, no, please.
Please no.
Oh, god. - God?
- Yeah, yeah.
What? - There's no God
for you, clown.
Then again, maybe today is your lucky day.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, please.
Yeah, yeah.
- I don't know.
You think there's any chance that a girl like that
and a guy like me?
- I do, I really, really do.
I think you two were meant to be together.
Please, I won't say a word.
You don't got to worry about it.
Please.
I won't say a word I promise.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
(clown screaming)
(body thudding)
(bones cracking)
- Hey.
Your friend okay?
- No, oh, he's not my friend.
I mean, I don't really know him, but he's fine.
Trust me he's not happy with me right now.
- Well, I think it's really nice
that you helped out a stranger then.
You don't see a lot of that in this world anymore.
* Every man's fatal trap
(giggles) So.
- So.
- Why is this so awkward?
* With a face like any other
- Right?
Like I've been rehearsing what to say to you all night.
* With thoughts of getting your *
When that was out loud that was bad.
- Yeah.
* Next thing you know the kitty kills *
Hey, don't worry, me too.
- Can we just start drinking then?
- Oh, yeah, I think I'd like that.
Uh, good evening, I'm Tommy.
- Eden.
- Wanna pick your poison, Eden?
- No. - No.
- No, doesn't work for you.
- No.
- Oh man, closing time already.
Feels like we just met.
- Well, just because the bar's done
doesn't mean we have to be.
We could go to my place and and watch a movie or something.
Or is that too forward? (chuckles)
* Move her close
* Move her slow
* Spin that
You coming or what?
It's just a movie, I swear.
You can trust me.
* Hold her tight
* Grab those hips and you move her right *
* She has the look to swing as you want *
* All that you need and nothing you don't *
* She's got herself
- What movie are we gonna watch?
* The lights are low and the music's up *
* The band is rockin' and that girl is tough *
* You feel those curves and you see that smile *
* A fallen angel with a devilish eye *
* She has the look to swing as you want *
* All that you need and nothing you don't *
* She's got herself
(door bangs) (brooding music)
(door creaking)
Hey.
(metal clanging)
Sorry, I didn't wanna wake you.
- That's sweet.
Thanks.
I'm just glad you didn't sneak out actually.
- Why would I wanna do that?
- You'd be surprised.
Wow I can't believe it's almost noon.
I never sleep this late.
- Well, that'll happen when you stay up all night.
- I must say you have rather impressive stamina.
- Thanks.
Uh, and I must say
you have a rather impressive film collection.
I love the "Living Dead Girl" series.
I grew up watching them.
But you've got some I've never even heard of.
- No, it should be an impressive collection.
She's my mother.
- You're fucking kidding me.
Debbie di Prima is your mom?
The Debbie di Prima?
That's so awesome.
Are you hungry?
I know a great little pizza place not far from here.
I don't know about you,
but staying up all night really makes me hungry.
- Yeah, I'm starving actually.
I'd love to.
Let me freshen up.
- Take your time.
I'll be right here.
(door creaking)
Things were quiet in my head
for a couple of days after that.
Well, quieter anyway.
Maybe it's because my heart was in charge for once.
I just could not get Eden off my mind.
In fact, she was all I could think about.
We talked, we texted, we laughed, we,
but you know what they say?
Old habits die hard,
especially when those habits involve killing.
- Thank you guys so much for helping us move.
- Yeah, we couldn't have done without you.
I mean, we could have,
but it would've been a huge pain in the ass.
- Well, it was my pleasure.
Happy to help some of Eden's friends.
Besides, I'll pretty much do anything for a beer and a taco.
- (laughs) You're a cheap date.
- Yeah, that's why you love me, right?
(Eden scoffs)
- So I love the new place.
I can't wait to see what you guys do with it.
- My baby's got plans all right.
- Yeah, I might have a few ideas.
For instance. (chattering)
(ominous music)
- Oh, Tommy, what's wrong?
You okay?
- Um, there's a clown that just came in.
Goddammit, don't look at it.
It'll come over here.
Please.
- Tommy has a thing with clowns.
He really doesn't like them.
- No, Eden, I fucking hate them.
(Tommy clears throat)
- All right, um, just look at me, okay?
Not over there.
Not at it, look at me, all right?
All right. - Okay, I'm sorry.
It's just.
- Hey, can you, can you please go to the next table?
- I've got a pretty ballon for a pretty lady.
- How about three balloons for pretty ladies?
- You need to leave now, please.
I said leave, clown.
I really don't like clowns and I really don't want you here.
- Tommy, it's okay, let's just move.
- No way, fuck that.
You need to leave now.
(fist pounds)
If you do not fucking leave right fucking now
I will stab you in the throat with my fucking fork!
- Tommy.
I'm so sorry, ma'am.
It's just a misunderstanding, okay?
All right?
Okay, okay, okay.
(ominous music)
(plastic rattling)
(phone ringing)
- Goddammit.
Hold on, I've gotta take this.
Sit tight.
Hello.
- [Eden] Hey, Tommy.
It's Eden.
- Oh, hey you.
I, I wasn't sure if I was gonna hear from you again.
(Tommy clears throat)
- [Eden] Do you have a minute to talk?
- [Tommy] For you absolutely, I do.
- [Eden] Look, about the other day at the restaurant.
(clown screaming)
What was that?
- What?
Nothing.
Look about that, Eden, I owe you an apology.
I behaved like a complete dick.
That wasn't fair to you or your friends.
I just really, really have a thing about clowns,
especially ones with red balloons.
It was just too much.
I'm sorry.
Can you forgive me?
- [Eden] I think that could be arranged.
So are you busy?
Do you wanna maybe come over?
- You know, I just wrapped up my errand.
Be there in 20.
(knuckles tapping)
(door clicks)
- You're early.
- What can I say?
Just couldn't wait to see you.
(dog growling)
Look about the restaurant.
- Tommy, I'm so sorry.
I know you told me you hated clowns,
but kind of thought you were just exaggerating.
If I would've known that it was gonna bother you so bad,
I would've never let her come over to our table.
- I know.
It's just, most people think I'm joking,
but it's a serious problem.
It even has a name coulrophobia,
the fear and hatred of clowns.
Lots of people have it.
I just have a really bad case of it.
Sometimes I get panic attacks from it.
Sometimes, I, well, you saw what happened.
It's like I sort of step outside myself
and watch everything from afar.
My therapist says it's a disease, not a condition.
- Your therapist?
Are you crazy?
Because you're supposed to tell someone
on the first date if you're crazy.
That's the rule.
(Tommy and Eden laughing)
And yeah, I've heard of coulrophobia.
I know a thing or two about clowns, believe it or not.
- Christ, don't tell me you're=
- God, no, no.
I just knew someone who was once.
- Really?
Do tell.
- Well, my dad or the guy who was supposed to be my father,
I should say, he was a clown.
The clown actually.
His name was Giggles
but they called him The Clown King back in his day.
- Was?
I'm sorry.
When did he pass?
(Eden chuckles)
- The only thing that man ever passed was out
for most of my life.
He and my mom split up when I was little.
I haven't seen him for years.
- Sounds like you have a good reason to hate clowns too.
- Maybe just the one.
They don't really bother me.
What about you?
Do all clowns freak you out or just certain ones?
Ooh, what about the clown marionette from "Poltergeist"?
- Okay, that one completely fucking terrifying.
In fact, I think that may have been what pushed me
over the edge when I was a kid.
Well, that and.
- [Eden] And what?
- Nothing.
I mean, there's some other stuff,
but let's save that for another date.
- Come on, you can't just tease me like that.
Let this skeleton out of the closet.
I promise I won't laugh.
- I know you won't laugh.
It's kinda what I'm afraid of.
- Hey, you can tell me when you're ready.
You can talk to me.
I wanna know all about you.
- I'm afraid of that too.
- Tommy, you can tell me anything,
when you want to that is.
- I know.
I will.
I swear.
It's just, you know how I told you
my parents died when I was a kid?
- Yeah.
What happened to them, if you don't mind me asking?
(brooding music)
- (sighs) I don't really remember.
I mean, I do, but it's more like memories of memories.
If that makes any sense.
Some things are still fuzzy.
It's not that they died.
(birds chirping)
(door clicks)
It's how.
- Still no sign up your folks, Tommy?
(door bangs)
Well, it's your birthday
and I'm sure they've got something
really special planned for you today.
They'll be here any minute you'll see.
- Move your buns, hon.
- Coming, coming.
- Cleo, come on.
(birds chirping)
Okay.
- You sure everyone's at the park already?
- Absolutely.
Just waiting for us to bring the birthday boy.
- [Dale] All right, take a right, take a right here.
- [Bill] Do you see where we're at in the map?
- [Dale] I think so.
- What's that say?
Book park.
Where's the party?
(clown scoffs)
- [Bill] Have you figured it out yet?
- [Dale] Just take a left here.
- [Bill] Ah, but he's making a left here.
- Well. - Dammit.
- [Dale] Just take a left.
- [Bill] You've made us do four left turns.
- No. - We're essentially going
in a circle. - We are not going
in a circle. - Dale, get us here.
He's drunk.
Oh, now he's throwing shit at us.
- [Dale] Go around, he's drunk.
- [Bill] Fuck, what the fuck is he doing?
I'm beating his ass.
- [Dale] Bill, calm down.
(Chloe gasps) (van thuds)
(melancholic music)
- Tommy. I, I had no idea.
I am so, so sorry.
If, if I would've known, I would've never let that-
- Here.
I know.
It's just, it's not something I've ever really talk about.
Or at least I, I never have.
Maybe that's a good thing.
- No wonder you're afraid of clowns.
- Eden, I'm not afraid of them.
I hate them.
- Isn't hate the same thing as fear?
- You wanna be my therapist?
(traffic humming)
(door clicks)
Come on, it wasn't that scary.
- No, it was, which was awesome.
It was also freezing in there and really warm.
- Oh, excuse me. - I'm sorry.
- [Courtney] Sorry.
- Dr. Lee.
Uh, Dr. Lee, this is my girlfriend Eden.
Eden, this is my therapist, Dr. Lee.
It's cool, Doc, full disclosure.
- So which movie did you guys see tonight?
- "Family Possessions".
It's really creepy, if you're into that sort of thing.
- Oh, me, no.
I, I actually never liked horror movies.
I had a bad experience once when I was a kid.
I'm going to see a "Chance of Snow".
I love the director.
So, um, well, I have to go inside now,
but it was nice meeting you
and I'll see you next week, right?
- Sure will, Doc.
- Have a good night.
- Welcome back to "The Real Story".
I'm Jack J. Jackson.
Breaking news in the Klutzo the Clown case,
we've just received word that the judge
has declared a mistrial due to juror misconduct.
The BHBJ viewers may recall from earlier this afternoon
when one juror jumped up from his seat
and tried to attack the defendant.
As a result, all charges of sexual abuse
against a minor have been dropped.
Dropped!
(hand thuds)
Prosecutors are scrambling to put together new evidence but.
Klutzo, Jack J. Jackson from
"The Real Story with Jack J. Jackson".
Tell me how does it feel to be released on a technicality,
despite the heinous nature of the crimes that you committed.
(Klutzo laughing)
Are you or all affected by the fact that one of the jurors
was so disgusted by a description of your crimes
that they felt the need to attack you?
(dramatic music)
There you have it, clowns innocent bystanders
or disgusting vermin playing
on the childish nature of society.
You have to decide.
This is Jack J. Jackson with "The Real Story".
- Clown lives don't matter!
- [Protestor 2 and Protestor 3] Creeps off the street!
- [Protestor] Clown lives don't matter!
- [Protestor 2 and Protestor 3] Creep off the street!
- Clown lives don't matter!
- [Protestor 2 and Protestor 3] Creeps off the street!
- Clown lives don't matter!
- [Protestor 2 and Protestor 3] Creeps off the street!
- Clown lives don't matter!
- [Protestor 2 and Protestor 3] Creeps off the street!
- [Protestor] Clown lives don't matter!
- [Protestor 2 and Protestor 3] Creeps off the street!
- Clown lives don't matter!
- [Protestor 2 and Protestor 3] Creeps off the street!
- Clown lives don't matter!
- [Protestor 2 and Protestor 3] Creeps off the street!
- Clown! (ominous music)
(lock clicking)
(door clicks)
(door creaking)
(door bangs)
(wood creaking)
- You fucking monster.
They're just.
You die.
Die.
(door clicks)
(camera clicks)
(tense ominous music)
(keys clicking)
(liquid splashing) (heavy breathing)
(door clicks) (door creaking)
(door bangs)
(door clicks)
(door bangs) (door clicks)
- Goddamn kids.
No one stands up to Klutzo the Clown.
No one!
The next little bastard I get my hands on,
I'm gonna take it all out on him.
He is gonna get it!
One of these days, they're all gonna get it.
And I am the one that's gonna give it to 'em.
Oh, I am so gonna give it to 'em.
Well, looks like it's just you and me tonight, handsome.
(ominous music)
(water splashing)
(Klutzo screaming)
(Klutzo groaning)
Help me!
Help me.
(body thuds)
Help.
- Like you helped all those kids.
Those children.
You sick fuck.
(hands clap)
You know what?
Today is your lucky day.
I'd be happy to help you.
(Klutzo groaning)
But it's not gonna be easy.
No, no, no.
(Klutzo groans)
It's not enough that we face our fears.
(Klutzo groans)
You have to destroy me.
And well, since you don't really have a face anymore,
I'm just gonna have to improvise.
(suspenseful music)
(Klutzo screaming)
- What the hell happened to his face?
- It gets worse actually.
- His fucking face is melted off.
How could it possibly get any worse?
- Ask me about his genitals.
- Please don't make me.
- Just ask.
- What about his genitals?
- We have no idea where they are.
- Jesus, somebody really fucking hates clowns.
- That's what I'm afraid of.
- What?
- Well, this is the third dead clown
in as many as weeks, right?
- I guess.
And?
- Doesn't seem a little-
- You were gonna say funny, weren't you?
- I was gonna say odd.
- Bull fucking shit.
Three, huh?
- Well, technically the second one was a mime,
but yeah, three.
- And if two is a pattern.
- Then three's a.
- Shit. - Yeah.
Something tells me this shit ain't over yet.
- [Wayne] Maybe we got lucky and it's a pissed off parent.
- Maybe.
Kids, you got off easy.
Fucking monster.
(group chattering)
(knuckles tapping)
- So the report came back on that strangle vic
from a few weeks ago.
Guy lived there said, "His friend used to be a clown."
- A clown?
- That's what he said.
Apparently he used to be pretty good too.
He used to do a thing with handkerchiefs.
- A clown.
Hey, wait.
I need you to pull all the unsolved murders
and missing persons for the last two, make it four weeks.
- You got it.
- You think we missed something?
- I think we missed something
'cause we didn't know what to look for.
- Where are we heading?
- One place to go when you wanna learn something,
back to school.
(upbeat music)
(horn honking)
- Okay.
Looks real nice.
They look like a bunch of cops.
Gentlemen, oh,
(bell ringing)
detectives, I'm sorry.
How can I help you?
- Detective Mueller, Detective Vasquez.
You the guy who runs the circus?
- Joey Z at your service.
Welcome.
What can I go for you?
- We're looking into some recent incidents
and we need to know if you've had any problems lately?
- Problems, officers?
- Problems.
Any fights?
Anyone flunk out?
Swear revenge?
Drugs?
- The only problems here
about when somebody steals a clown gag.
Come on, what's going on?
It's about the disappearances, isn't it?
Word travels fast around here, we're a pretty big family.
- What about anyone making threats here
or someone who hates clowns maybe?
Or someone who holds a grudge against you, uh-
- You people.
- I was gonna say, you entertainer types, actually.
Now look, if anyone comes to mind, you give us a call.
- Hey, Joey.
The three o'clock's about to start.
They need those pies.
(upbeat playful music) (Joey sighs)
- A lot of people hate clowns, you know?
I'll call you if I find anything funny.
- What do you think?
- I think he's scared.
Could see it in his eyes.
If he knew anything, he would've told us in a heartbeat.
(ominous music)
(van door clicks)
(van door bangs)
- So the thing is, is it's not really about the prop.
It's about connecting with your audience.
When you're performing it's not about what you do,
as much as it about making the audience
feel you, your presence on the stage.
Part of it, what?
Is really a, really a.
(body thuds)
(tape snaps)
- Janitor says, "This place should be packed with clowns."
He came in this morning, not a soul.
No students, no Joey Z, nobody.
And my guesses, that's why.
- Detectives pulled this off the HVAC unit.
Whoever hooked this up, knew exactly what they were doing.
- Why would he gas and kidnap the entire classroom?
Why not just waste them all and be done with it?
- Maybe it's too quick and easy.
Maybe he wants them to suffer.
(tense ominous music)
- 14, detectives!
That's how many bodies we found in the back of that van
like some clown car from hell.
And you mean to tell me we don't have any goddamn leads?
- Well, sir, we're waiting on a report
- No, captain.
No, we don't.
- You mean with all the cameras in this whole fucking town
nobody has seen anything?
That doesn't make any goddamn sense.
- Captain, nothing about this guy makes any sense.
He's got no MO.
Hell, we can't even find a print.
- Well, you better find a print.
You better find a lead.
Because the media's getting ready to turn this into a-
- Circus, Captain.
- I was gonna say shit show, Detective.
There are 14 innocent bodies in the back of that van.
Now I want you to find that bastard
before any more bodies pile up.
You get me?
- Yes, Captain. - Yes, Captain.
- Shut the door.
And tell the mayor she can suck my dick.
(door bangs)
- You're making that call.
What are you thinking?
- I'm thinking if we don't find out who's doing this,
we're gonna wish we're in the back of that van.
- You know what that psychos gonna do next?
(suspenseful music)
(knuckles tapping)
- Hey, there.
Hungry?
* What other lovers could be so close *
* And diametrically opposed
* I stream your colors, I crack your code *
* And I run for cover when you're ready to explode *
* This is the system here in our frustration nation *
* Limits of persistence in the powers of persuasion *
* And when it's working, even though my flaw *
* It's heat lightning all night and sugar in the raw *
* In the raw
* So thickly settled and what a thrill *
* Continental breakfast with some analytic phil *
* Unstuck in time, perfectly still *
* You don't understand me, baby, ain't nobody will *
* Taking a tangent off of a digression session *
* Hoping for some credit or an honorable mention *
* Oh my aching body, oh my aching jaw *
* Sweet heat lightning all night and sugar in the raw *
* In the raw
* In the
(horse neighing)
(clown whistling)
(suspenseful music) (taser ticking)
(horse neighing)
(hand tapping)
(horse neighing)
- Yippee ki yay, you rubber nose fuck.
- Come, come man.
You don't have to do this.
I got a wife.
I got a family, man.
I got kids.
I got a dog, man.
I got a dog. (whimpering)
(gun bangs)
(horses neighing) (bones cracking)
(clown screaming)
(flesh squishing)
(hooves thudding)
- Dr. Lee.
Courtney. - Eden, right?
How are you?
Where's Tommy?
Is he okay?
- He's fine.
I mean, I think so.
(sighs) It's just a couple of things
have happened lately with clowns
that have me kind of worried.
- Eden, look, I really can't talk to you
about my sessions with Tommy.
That would completely betray
any doctor-patient confidentiality.
- No, I know.
I, I'm not asking that.
Um, it's just, I don't know.
I know I haven't known him that long,
(sighs) but seeing that side of him, it was like, he was.
- Like, he was an entirely different person?
Look, normally I don't speak
to a patient's significant other.
- I know, I know.
But he did say full disclosure, right?
So that has to count for something, doesn't it?
- You know, I can tell that you mean a lot to him,
and certainly he means a lot to you.
(sighs) Why don't you take a walk with me?
(brooding music)
So Eden, how much do you really
know about Tommy's childhood?
- I mean, some, you know, just what he is told me.
I know his parents died when he was young.
And he told me about the clown with the red balloons
right before it happened.
Um, I know about the time he spent here,
about his coulrophobia.
- His parents didn't just die.
They were killed by that clown.
- Oh my God.
- I mean, at least that's how Tommy sees it.
And it's a horrible accident I know,
but in Tommy's mind,
it wasn't a person who murdered his parents,
it was that clown.
And it wasn't until about 10 years later
where Tommy's fear and hatred of clowns truly began.
(door clicks)
- Aunt Angela, I'm home.
Angela.
- Tommy.
Hey, Tommy, this is um.
- I know who he is.
- Look kid, I-
- You killed my parents you son of a bitch!
I'm gonna kill you!
- Tommy! - Look, kid,
I've been thinking for 10 years about what to say
and I'm gonna say it.
- [Angela] Tommy, just, just hear him out, please.
- I know it was my fault, but I was driving the van.
But it was that clown, that goddamn clown.
It was him.
He made me do it.
- You said your peace, I think it should go now, okay?
- You gotta believe me.
It, it was all, it was all that damn clown.
(hand slaps)
(door clicks)
(clock chimes)
(door clicks)
(tires screeching)
- Goddamn clown!
(Tommy grunts)
(ominous music)
(man vocalizing)
- [Cop] Police, freeze!
He's got a knife!
(siren wailing)
He's alive, got an alive one.
I need an EMT in here now.
- Oh, my God, I had no idea.
He was just a little boy.
No wonder he can't stand clowns.
- Well, it's not just that, Eden.
I mean, that night in the theater,
he suffered a mental breakdown.
You know and when someone experiences that kind of trauma,
it could completely fracture their psyche for years.
- So what are you saying exactly?
- What I'm saying is that he's demonized them to the point
where he doesn't see a, a person.
He sees a monster.
And, and not in the literal sense,
and certainly not any longer.
But if you want him to be happy,
you can no longer have him encounter clowns at all.
- Okay, so what if there was someone
that used to be a clown that, that isn't anymore?
Do, do you think that would still count?
Like somebody he could sit down with and talk to someone
that could show him that clowns
are just normal fucked up people
like the rest of us, you know?
Not monsters.
- I think that's a really bad idea.
Eden, you know, we can't predict how Tommy will react,
and I know you wanna help him, but I advise you not to,
and you just don't know what could happen
unfortunately with these circumstances, okay?
- Okay, I understand.
(car door clicks)
(car door bangs)
(Eden sighs)
(phone beeps)
Hey, Mom.
Hey, what are you up to?
Do you wanna maybe grab dinner tonight?
Okay, uh-huh.
Yeah, I'll see you there around seven.
Sound good?
All right, thanks.
Bye.
- Excuse me.
Terribly sorry, but aren't you Debbie di Prima?
- It's Debra, darling, and yes, I am.
- I hate to bother you.
Could I trouble you for an autograph?
I'm a really big fan of yours.
- Oh, but of course, anything for a fan.
- You are so amazing.
Isn't she something?
- Yes, she is.
- Here. - Thank you so much, Deborah.
Ciao.
- Sorry about that, dear.
Now where were we.
Ah, yes, Tommy.
- Well, it's, it's about Malcolm, my father.
I need to find him.
- Eden, why would you want to open
that can of tequila worms?
You know he'll never change.
He is the same selfish, delusional,
drunk he has always been.
- Well, you married him, so what's that say about you?
- Right, it says, I was a fool.
A fool for a silver tongued devil
with golden words and those eyes.
Oh, God, those eyes.
- So you were in love then?
- For a very short while, yes.
- So, you know how I feel.
I'd do anything for Tommy,
even if it means making peace with Malcolm?
- Well, so tell me, what is Tommy's issue?
- He's afraid of clowns.
Terrified, actually.
And I thought that-
- Wait, you thought that sitting him down across the table
from his worst nightmare was a good idea?
- I don't know.
I just thought maybe if he could talk to somebody
who used to be a clown,
he could see that they're just people
under all that makeup, and wigs, and big shoes.
- Oh, I don't know, Eden.
This does not sound like a good idea.
- That's what his therapist said.
- Oh, so his therapist and your mother both agree
and you still won't listen.
- Would you have listened to your mom when you were in love?
- Ah, you're in love now are you, huh?
And you think your father can actually help with this issue?
- Well, I don't think he could make things any worse.
- It's Malcolm Fossor, darling,
that man can always make things worse.
Oh.
(hands thud)
Oh.
- Please, please, Mom.
- It's that important to you then.
- He's that important to me.
- I, I may know where your father is.
- Mom.
Mom.
- Oh come now, darling,
I spent a small part of my life loving that man
and the rest of it hating him.
You really think I wouldn't keep tabs on his whereabouts?
- You do know where he is then.
- Eden, when that man dies, I want to be the first to know.
Now, look, I'll think about it, okay?
All right.
Now, can we please order something to eat?
I am starving.
(group chattering)
(door bangs)
- Bastian, what are you doing?
- Listen, we need to talk.
Okay, I know how you feel about me, but it's not about me.
It's about your boyfriend.
- Oh, God, Bastian, let it go.
(sighs) You don't think I know you've been following us?
Following him.
- Okay, just, just forget about, about all that.
Just forget all.
Listen, how well do you know him,
like, like actually know him?
You see, I've been doing some digging.
- You've been doing some digging?
Bastian, you're not a reporter.
You're not even a journalist.
You're an IT guy
who writes a conspiracy theory blog, that's it.
- Right, just listen to me, okay?
Okay, I, I may have peeked at some of your email.
- You hacked my emails?
- Peeked at, right peaked, not hacked.
And all I'm saying is you don't really know who this guy is.
Well, what this guy is.
Who's that?
Is that him?
- That's none of your business.
What is your problem with Tommy?
- My problem is, is when he's around, certain people die.
Certain clown people.
And it's been happening all around him,
every where's been for the past couple of years.
And no one's ever put it together except for me.
- What are you saying?
- What I'm saying is he's a serial killer.
Well, like a clown serial killer.
And when he's around people die.
And I have proof.
- You have proof.
Then show me.
- Well, don't have it here.
It's back at me apartment.
- Oh God, Bastian.
I, I thought you had a thing for me,
but I thought it was just, you know, maybe a little crush.
Now I see that you're really sick.
- Sick?
No, no, not me.
It's him, it's Tommy, he's the one who's sick.
- I think you better go now, Bastian.
- Right.
(phone ringing) (phone buzzing)
(door clicks) (group chattering)
(phone beeps)
(phone beeping)
(phone ringing)
- [Malcolm] Hello.
- Malcolm? - Yep, that's me.
- Malcolm Fossor?
- [Malcolm] Who's there, love?
- It's Eden.
- [Malcolm] Uh, Steven, sorry,
I, I don't know anyone named Steven.
- Eden di Prima, your daughter.
- [Malcolm] Edie my little girl, is that you?
- [Eden] Don't talk. Malcolm, just listen.
Look, I've never asked you for anything until now.
- Otis, my friend, exceptional driving.
You got me here safe and sound.
Well done, sir.
Well done.
(Malcolm sighs)
Home sweet home.
- Look, I know why I'm so nervous,
but are you sure you're okay?
- I'm sorry, just having a hard time turning my brain off.
- Meeting my dad was too big of a step.
- That and the whole clown thing.
Other than that, I'm peachy.
- Listen, just don't think about him, okay?
Think about me.
- That I can do.
(door clicks)
(group chattering)
- There she is my little girl.
(sighs) Let you, dear old dad take a look at you.
- You're early.
You're never early.
- Well, love, people can change,
especially when they've been away so very long.
- And sometimes the more they change,
the more they stay the same.
- Nonsense.
This is just to take the edge off.
So who's this handsome young man you brought to meet me?
- Tommy.
Tommy dos Santos.
It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.
Eden's told me a lot about you.
- I bet she has.
Well then I think we should have drinks all around.
- Another glass of Prosecco, sir?
- Please and leave the bottle, dear.
So Tommy, I believe you have the hots for my daughter.
- I'm sorry, sir?
Oh, yes, sir.
- It's all right.
Settle down young man.
I mean, this is not the army for fuck sake.
You have no need to call me, sir.
- Sorry, sir.
Malcolm.
Force of habit.
- Sir Malcolm.
Sir Malcolm.
You know, I like the way that sounds.
- Think so too.
Now, if you could play nice for a couple of minutes,
I'm gonna use the restroom.
Will you excuse me?
(lips smack)
- So Tommy.
- So Sir Malcolm.
- You know who I am, of course.
And you know what I've been, right?
- I know what you are.
You're her father.
Or at least that's what you're supposed to be.
(brooding music)
Then again, you were never really that much of a man,
were you, Sir Malcolm?
You were always more of a monster, weren't you?
Clown.
It's okay.
So was I.
Monster shaped like a man.
Then something happened to me.
She happened to me.
And then I didn't just feel something.
I felt everything.
- Wow, what'd I miss out on?
- Oh, I've just been getting to know your, your beau.
So Tommy, I believe that you're afraid of clowns,
is that right?
Terrified.
- No, I never said terrified.
I said Tommy has coulrophobia, which is-
- I know, I know exactly what it is.
I virtually coined the phrase back in the day.
But what I've seen on the news,
somebody really hates clowns.
Now, that wouldn't be you, would it, sport?
- Tommy might be afraid of clowns,
but he's not some psycho killer.
- Well, let's have a toast to friends and to family.
What's the matter, love?
- Well, Malcolm.
- Dad.
- Well, Mal, the thing about dads
is that they're usually around every once in a while.
You crawled into the bottom of a bottle
and you never came out.
- Why am I here really?
What do you want from me?
Huh?
Do you want my blessing?
Do you want me to apologize?
Do you want money?
What is it?
What do you want from me?
- I don't need your anything.
I thought we could have a conversation.
I thought you could help,
but I forgot you just make things worse.
- No, love, I don't make things worse.
They just get that way all by themselves.
- No wonder Mom left you.
No wonder everyone leaves you.
I'm very sorry that I ever looked for you.
- Well, that was an interesting reunion.
If I was you, I'd get your ass into gear
and go after her, mate.
- You know,
(ominous music)
for a clown named Giggles,
you're not very funny.
- You know, for a monster shaped like a man,
you're not very scary.
Oh, one last thing, boy.
When you see her tell her that I'm staying
at the Goodnight Inn over by the interstate, room 59.
- And why would I tell her that?
- Because she's gonna come and look for me
when she cools down.
She always does.
- I don't think so.
- Believe me.
I know my little girl.
(door clicks)
(brooding music)
(door bangs)
(ominous music)
(traffic humming)
(door clicks)
(door bangs)
- Oh, Tommy dos Santos, where we going this evening?
Yeah, hop into your stupid little car you poo face.
Get.
Right, Eden, you want proof your boyfriend's a psycho?
I'll get you proof.
- I, I always thought the clowns were supposed to be funny.
(coat thuds)
Laugh, laugh clown. (laughing)
Laugh clown. (laughing)
(knuckles tapping)
You came back.
I knew you would, sweetie.
I'm so sorry for what I said.
I didn't mean any of it.
(ominous music)
You.
(body thuds)
What the bloody hell was that for?
Where the fuck is Edie?
- Shut the fuck up, clown.
- Why don't you just run a long home, little boy?
And maybe I'll forget that this ever happened, huh?
(Malcolm groaning)
- All she ever wanted a father
and all she ever got was you, a joke.
- You don't know shit about me, friend.
- I'm not your friend.
You know what I am.
(Malcolm groaning)
I'm the final curtain.
(head thuds)
(body thuds)
Fuck.
(door clicks)
Bastian!
- Stay away from me, you prat.
- Look, I don't know what you think you saw.
- I saw you kill that man, that clown man
and now I've got the proof.
And she'll have to listen to me.
And that's not it, mate, I know all about you.
I've been doing my fucking homework.
I know you, mate.
And I'm gonna tell everybody.
Eden included.
- I just did the world a favor.
I just did everybody a favor, especially Eden.
- Is this about your parents?
What happened to them?
I read the file, man.
And the driver said over and over,
"That clown made it happen."
But the cops could never find him.
- You don't talk about my parents.
- Ah!
(body thudding)
(man vocalizing)
- No, no, no.
It's there are no frowns in clown town.
Not, there aren't any frowns in clown town.
How many goddamn times do I have to tell you the difference?
- Well, you keep rewriting the script.
It makes it hard to learn the words
if you keep changing them.
Just give us a break, all right?
- Oh, you need a break, bozo.
Tell you what, you have five minutes to learn these lines
or I find myself a new lead clown.
I need a Clove.
Amateurs!
- Jesus Christ, he is such a fucking diva!
I mean, it's not our fault
he can't carry a tune to save his life.
- Be quiet, he'll hear you.
- Oh, fuck him!
Let him fire me.
- Yeah, really, the song sucks anyway.
- Hey man, how'd you get in here?
Oh my God, kid, you all right?
- Clown, fucking clowns.
- Hey, what'd you just say, man?
Hey, I might be funny, bitch,
but I could fuck you up something fierce.
(body thuds)
(ominous music)
- You shouldn't have killed my parents.
You killed my parents.
You!
(hammer thuds) (body thuds)
(hammer thuds) (clown screams)
- Oh, my God, kid, what, what did you do?
What did you do?
You need to get outta here
You get outta here now.
- Killed my parents.
- You gotta go. - They had to die.
- Oh, my God.
- They had to die.
- Kid, kid, kid, the cops are gonna be here any minute.
You need to get outta here, okay?
- How did you find me?
- I followed you.
Tried to stop you from doing something stupid
and I screwed that up too.
Now you need to go.
I, I can go away rot in jail,
but you still got a life ahead of you.
You should go enjoy that.
- Why?
- I can't make it right,
but at least can make us even.
(suspenseful music)
(knife clicks)
(Tommy grunting)
(Tommy screams)
(Tommy groans)
- (grunts) You're dead, motherfucker.
- [Cop] Freeze, freeze, don't move!
Drop the knife.
(gun bangs)
(body thuds) (brooding music)
He's alive, we got an alive one.
I need an EMT in here now!
(chain clangs)
- It's just one flight of stairs.
- Technically it's three flights, smart ass.
- Detectives, we just found this upstairs.
- Ooh, it's even unlocked.
Look at the last few photos he took.
- Now who are you supposed this is?
You think this is our clown killer?
- I don't think we could get that lucky.
- Time stamped on his picture is 10:13,
which is right around the time of death the coroner gave us.
What if this guy did this?
- Think our dead guy knows the killer?
Well knew, I guess.
- I think he knew something,
that's why he's dead.
Come on, let's go find out where he lives.
(door clicks)
- You know, it's, it's a shame about that boy.
I really did like him.
You guys let me know if you need something extra, okay?
(door clicks)
- Oh, I think you better come check this out.
What do you think?
- I think we need to find out
just who the hell this Tommy dos Santos is, that's what.
(knuckles tapping)
(door clicks)
- Eden, I wasn't expecting you.
Eden, what's wrong?
What is it?
- No, I just couldn't let it go.
How smug he was.
How mean he was to you.
So I found out where he was staying.
It's, it's not hard, cheap motels by the bus station.
I had to talk to him, you know, just really let him have it.
- Hey, what happened?
- Well, I went to his room, but it was empty.
And, and the manager said,
"That he never saw him check out."
So I just don't.
- Hey, come on.
- Why would he just leave like that?
- Well, you did make it sound pretty final
when you left dinner the other night.
- We fight.
We always fight.
Families do that, you know?
Oh god, Tommy, I'm sorry.
I, I wasn't thinking.
- It's okay, it's okay.
Eden, I'm sure he's fine.
You said it yourself,
he likes to pull disappearing acts, yeah?
I'm sure this is just the latest show.
All the world's a stage to a clown, right?
Come away with me.
- What?
Where?
- Anywhere you want.
We'll sneak off someplace sunny and tropical
for a few weeks, or you know, forever.
- Yeah, but what about-
- What about what?
What about work?
Take a vacation, call in sick.
Hell quit.
- Tommy, I can't just quit.
- Yes, you can.
Eden, I have more than enough money to take care of us.
My aunt made sure of that.
So run away with me.
Eden.
I love you and I, I think you love me.
And for me, that's enough.
- Tommy, I do.
I do love you.
- So let's go away together.
We don't have to stay gone,
but I want to show you the world
that's out there beyond this city.
- Okay, let's do it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
My stuff.
- Um, we'll get my stuff here
and then we'll go to your place
and get your stuff,
and then it's off to the airport.
- Where are we gonna go?
- I have no idea.
We'll just know when we get there.
- You are crazy, Tommy dos Santos, you know that, right?
- Not anymore I'm not.
In fact, I don't think I've ever felt better.
I'm tired of this life.
I wanna start a new one.
One with you.
Passports, we might need passports.
Would you grab mine?
It's in the middle drawer of that dresser.
(door clicks)
(door bangs)
The drawer on the right, not the one on the,
the one on the left.
Eden, I can explain.
- Tommy, where did you get this?
Where?
- It's not what you think.
- Goddammit, Tommy, just tell me.
(Eden sighs)
This is my father's necklace.
I know that because I gave it to him when I was little.
I had no idea he still had it, but how did you?
Oh God, it's you, isn't it?
The one they've been talking about on the news?
The clown killer.
- [Tommy] Eden, just calm down.
- Calm down?
You killed all those people!
- But they weren't people.
Why did you see that?
(ominous music)
- Tommy, you killed my father, didn't you?
- [Tommy] So now he's your father.
- Don't you dare.
- Eden, I didn't murder your father.
I killed a monster.
Don't you see that?
They're all monsters.
- Oh God, he knew.
- What are you talking about?
- Bastian, he knew, I didn't listen.
- You don't have to worry about him anymore.
He won't be bothering us.
- Oh God, what did you do?
He's not a clown.
- He was an accident, I swear.
- I swear I would never, ever kill a person.
- And what about my father, huh?
He was a person too.
- You know what he was?
- Oh god.
And what about this person?
(fabric thuds)
What about this person?
(fabric thuds)
What about all those people, you psycho son of a bitch?
- I am not crazy!
And they were not people.
They weren't even human.
They were monsters, Eden.
They're all monsters.
- I only see one monster right now.
- Eden, I don't want to hurt you.
- You get away from me.
- Eden, you just don't understand.
- Please, just put the knife down, sweetie, okay?
- Don't call me that.
You killed those people.
You killed all of those people.
- Eden, no!
Please stop.
(Eden grunting)
Stop, Eden.
(head thuds) (Tommy groaning)
- Now who looks like a clown?
Huh?
- What did you do to me?
(Tommy grunting)
(Eden grunting)
(insects chirping)
(knuckles tapping)
- You stay right here.
If our guy runs, this is his only way out.
- Copy that.
- I don't know, I got a funny feeling about this one.
- Really?
Really?
- You're just mad, 'cause I thought of it first.
All right, let's go.
(suspenseful music)
(knife thuds)
(door clicks)
- Freeze!
(insects chirping)
- Try not to let him get to you, kid.
You just gotta drowned out the noise.
That's all it is just white noise.
Ah, Dr. Lee, this is Donnie, our new guard staff.
- Hey, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- After you, Doc.
- [Courtney] Thank you.
- That's a hell of the first day of you, kid.
This one still gives me the creeps and it's been months now.
- Gives you the creeps?
Come on, who is it?
(man laughing)
Oh God, what the hell was that?
- Sure hell of a first day, man.
- You got that right.
Listen, come on, who is it?
- You remember the clown killer?
- No, really?
Bullshit.
Really?
- Oh yeah.
- What the hell did I sign up for?
(door clicks)
(door bangs)
I hear they're still finding bodies.
- 42 and counting so far.
- How can somebody decide to do something so horrible
to something so funny?
- I don't think clowns are funny,
but when you lose a parent like that, you're bound to snap.
Still though, hear she had complete mental breakdown
when she found out that her boyfriend
killed all those people.
Killed her own father even.
They say she just lost it.
And I hear when the cops showed up,
she even tried to attack them.
- And now?
- And now all she sees are clowns.
- You mean?
- Yep.
(melancholic music)
(door clicks)
Any luck today, Doc?
- Not this time, gentlemen, but we'll keep trying
and maybe someday she'll come around again.
- [Eden] Now I know how this might look,
but I assure you I'm not crazy.
I'm just sick.
And you know what they say?
Laughter is the best medicine.
But that's the thing about laughter,
it doesn't just come from nowhere.
(Eden laughing)
It starts off as a giggle
and it gets stronger and stronger (laughing)
until it explodes.
It's a disease that spreads until it affects everyone.
And laughter, well, it can never die,
but giggles sure did. (screaming)
And so can you.
(Eden screaming)
(slow tempo rock music)
* Don't need to see your features, I know what you are *
* One of them creatures squeezing legions from a car *
* Your rictus grinning doesn't spin a spell on me *
* Giving me shivers when I hear the charivari *
* Midway between the thing and imminent disaster *
* If there's a ring you can be sure that there's a master *
* I saw the elephant, you swore it was a mouse *
* Making my escapin' while you're papering the house *
* Because you're clownin'
* Oh, yeah, you're clownin'
* I see you clownin'
* You know you clownin'
* Bit of business getting twisted 'til it's done *
* A liberation decimates your 10-in-one *
* We got a fault, it's lying well beneath the stars *
* There aint no art in this commedia of ours *
* Overextended with the tension of a guy wire *
* Without a net to catch a Herbie from the high wire *
* All out and over got a handle on the brakes *
* Lammin' on ya, Larry and I'm pulling up the stakes *
* Because you're clownin'
* Oh, yeah, you clownin'
* I see you clownin'
* You know you clownin'
* It aint a theory, dearie, said it 'cause I know so *
* On like a zanni but you're acting like a bozo *
* There's only ever been two stories goin' 'round *
* A man goes on a journey and the circus comes to town *
* And now you're clownin'
* Oh, yeah, you're clownin'