A NETFLIX SERIES
Yo, we've been waiting here for an hour. What's going on?
Please wait your turn, sir.
What do you think they'll do for you? They follow orders.
To those guys, we're just Negroes.
No, Mo, come on.
-Hello, Commissioner Feuillet, sir. -How can I help you, Mr. Blé?
You could find whoever set fire to my HQ.
-That would be nice. -We're on it, so don't obsess.
Isn't the city covered in video surveillance?
There's a camera by your HQ, but it wasn't working.
Tech issues happen.
Well, then, we'll stay in touch. Good day.
I ain't all on my own, you know. It doesn't end here.
-Calm down. -I got an army supporting me.
-Sure. Sure. -Right, Mo?
Mo! Don't fuck around!
-Hmm? -Man, what the fuck's keeping you, huh?
-What now, huh? -What? Oh, the video surveillance.
What video surveillance?
I installed GoPros all over HQ. Are you an idiot?
And you just tellin' me?
-Well, you never asked me. -What the fuck?
-Did you ask me? You didn't, so-- -Come on, explain.
You didn't ask me!
So, there, you choose the location, and choose the day right there.
Entrance, open space, uh, the toilets, all that.
You put a camera in the toilets?
Really, man?
-Hmm? -You put a camera in the toilets?
Threats may come unexpectedly.
And by the way, Didier is a pig. The plunger's been used--
I really don't give a fuck about how Didier shits.
Bring up Friday at nine o'clock. Right now, hurry.
-Shit. -You haven't seen them though.
-Forget it. -They clog the toilet.
-I don't care, Mo! -Okay, okay, okay.
Hang on. Aren't those your cousin's guys?
Fuck.
Well, he's a bitch, huh?
-How are you, Stéphane? -I'm fine.
What happened to your HQ is crazy.
-Right? -People are sick.
-Nuts. -How's Auntie?
-Good. -See you.
Yeah, thank you.
-He can't come in. -You see?
-Why'd you have your boys do that? -Hey, keep it down, dude. Come on.
Djibril is resting.
-Listen-- -Is this how you come into my house now?
Why'd you send your boys to set fire to my HQ?
-What boys? What d'you mean? -That's not Djokovic there?
Man, I recognize the scooter. I recognize the jersey.
It was just a Molotov, okay? Not some grenade. I wouldn't burn anyone.
I'm not gonna burn Auntie. Calm down. Calm down.
Did Andréï mess with your head or something?
What has he promised you? You could run your business? That's it?
You're better than that!
-You're better than that! -Hey, hey, hey.
Are you about to start preaching at me?
I have my security company, but without Andréï backing me, it's sunk.
Andréï doesn't give a shit.
-Oh, and you do? You care about me? -It's all bullshit.
Did you think of me when you started your campaign?
No. You blocked me out, same as always.
You brought in that buffoon Maurice, a bumbling idiot and compulsive crook.
-It's not like that! -Just be quiet!
Thought you didn't care about politics.
Like he spends his entire day watching C-SPAN.
I didn't steal from you, Dés. All right?
The bag got lost! It's my fault!
How else can I say it, bro?
-I'm not a criminal! -I believe you.
-Do I look like a thief? -Huh?
-Do I look like a thief, man? -Huh?
-I said, do I look like a thief or what? -No.
Fuck no!
Let's go.
Hey, let's go.
Yeah, but I… I was robbed, bro. We were at the post office--
Hey, Etienne.
SOLUTIONS FROM BELOW
No, it's going great. We're at seven percent.
I guess we stole five percent of Andréï's votes.
Oh, he's enraged.
Totally gutted. He's gotta be just, uh…
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
-I'll call you back. Call you back. -Oh, no, no, no.
-I'm busy right now. -Hmm. An interview, I imagine, right?
For the newspaper Le Monde?
A nice article.
"The kingmaker, William Crozon!"
That would've been a nice title. But, no.
It's "William Crozon, the buffoon."
That's how it is.
Because it was me… …who invited you.
Just look how easily I trapped you. I'm your interview.
-All right. -Can the two of us talk, please?
I wanted to talk with you, that's all. Get off your high horse, if you please.
-I won't talk, man. -Well, I have a lot to say to you.
Tell me, who was on the phone just now? Etienne Durandeau?
He promised you what? Hmm?
No, not Matignon.
Now you're just blathering. This is fantasy. You're delirious.
There's nothing, dude.
Don't take me for a fool.
You think I'm unaware your sponsors are all from the right wing, huh?
-Eighty percent are from the right. -So what? So what?
Shut up, please. Listen to me.
See that?
The guy with "solutions from below," take him down.
That's impossible. We are making such great progress.
-He's a hit. -Then you break his pace.
-Fat chance. -Get him out of his comfort zone.
He's fine meeting folks who wear turbans and babouches and big harem pants.
Stéphane and his Black guys. Take him to Corrèze.
-To Corrèze? -Yes, Corrèze!
To Corrèze? Pfft.
It'll do him good to see the real France.
You get it? The real France, from below. He left and he'll return.
-If I take him to Corrèze… -Mm-hmm?
…he'll get torn apart.
Well, that's the hope, huh?
Listen, you do this for me,
there may be a small spot in my campaign for you.
Now you think it over, right? But not too long. You might hurt yourself.
And also, know if you don't cooperate,
I'll call the press and tell them all about your little plot with Durandeau.
I'm sure that they'll absolutely love it.
All right. I'll leave this to you. You know what the Bété say, right?
-Rourou, laviola, loucouloucou! -Shit. Damn it.
Okay, welcome to Corrèze, guys.
So, most importantly, don't change a thing, okay?
We keep it gangsta. We keep it Black.
-Is that Creole? -Of course it's Creole.
Yasmine? Would you mind taking off your…
I just feel like it's causing some tension here.
Yeah, sure, that's no problem, once you quit being Black.
Oh.
Well, I'm sorry, but no one forced me to be Black, okay?
Are you serious?
-Hang on. He-- -You better not mean that.
Calm down. There are cameras.
-Calm down. -Yeah, well, calm yourself.
You know, Yasmine, you are completely right.
Don't disown yourself.
Have you tried the versions with the little grids here?
It's a bit like the troopers in…
With Darth Vader. They're like…
It makes a noise too, right? It's electrified?
No, but did you guys work this out together or what?
Hey, I'm warning you.
If anyone even looks suspicious, I'm on it, stat. Okay?
Because hillbillies living in the ass end of nowhere,
you know they're just bad news.
-I brought tear gas. -Whoa.
-Calm down. -No, I'm calm.
I brought gas. If anyone moves… Pssh! Zzz!
-I'm dressed, like a salad. -That's not what we wanted though.
-Zzz! See? -Uh, Mr. Blé?
Hello, Mr. Mayor.
-Happy you're here. Welcome. -Me too. Glad to be here.
-Hello, Gégé! How are you? -Ah, just fine. You?
-Great. And Lucette? -Lucette, she's dead.
She was run over on the county highway.
-Shit. -You forgot?
Anyway, we had a lovely drive here.
-Yeah? -Yeah, we did.
It was very pretty. That's fabulous. Was it easy to find?
Oh, yeah. There's really not much traffic out here.
Ah.
CITY HALL
This is Super 300 with silk threads. Berlusconi wore only this.
It doesn't seem right.
-I don't feel like me. -That's the idea.
Everybody…
…let's leave the candidate, please.
I told you not to come without warning me first.
What is it?
Stéphane showed up at my place with some video surveillance.
He knows it was my boys. He knows I'm the one who did it.
It's been handled already.
I know people in Domestic Affairs. There won't be an investigation.
So, don't panic. We're taking care of that idiot.
By tonight, he'll be toast.
He won't last for two minutes with those hillbillies.
Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.
They said they finished their contract at the… at the prefecture.
So bring my guys on board.
Listen.
It's a bit more complicated. You see, it's not possible that way.
-I'll ponder that. -Ah.
-Now, please-- -Ah, well, you can make it happen.
Don't make me spill everything I have on you.
Also, do something, uh, about daycare.
What?
-There are strikes all the time. -Oh, yeah. All right.
-All right, pal. Thank you. -Yeah.
My mother raised me by herself, alone. She had trouble making ends meet.
Let me tell you one thing.
Even with all the best intentions in the world,
when you feel that hunger,
it's bound to end up being a hard day.
If I'm elected president, what I propose…
is that everyone can choose to make meals with local produce
that's from organic farmers, and do it for free.
With farmers being paid a fair price.
Hey, but, uh, Stéphane, the speech got changed, Stéphane.
Basically, if I'm elected, what I propose is a win-win solution
for people in the cities and people in the countryside.
Vote Blé. Thank you.
Yes! Yes!
We believe in you! Woo!
Why didn't you read my speech?
I wrote you a great speech for this.
Okay, yeah, but a poem by Aimé Césaire on Négritude here
didn't seem right at all.
He's universal, Aimé Césaire.
-It's universal when you're one of us. -So universal.
-You really think around here-- -Are you kidding me? Well, then…
Well, should we take photos, Mr. Mayor? All right. Uh…
The hijab is important there. Close-Close in on the hijab.
-Mm-hmm. Yeah. -It's overexposed, you can't make out the…
Enhance the Black people. And make sure we can see the hijab.
Perfect. Um.
Stéphane, raise up a fist.
-No, the photo's bridging the community. -I think it represents your stance.
-It'd be cool to see the fist. -Yeah, but no.
Okay, Mo…
Malcolm X.
-There. Great. -No, no. Mo, no.
-Yes, it's great. -No, no.
-It's great. Stéphane! -No, no, no.
Okay, we'll take it as is. Go ahead. Yeah.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
On the ride in, we noticed that it's as bad as the ghetto here.
-It's all abandoned-looking. -Ah, yes, yes.
Post office closed a year ago. The last baker left two months ago.
Yeah, yes, it's completely neglected, yes.
Since the slums steal money now, there's nothing for the French.
I don't get it.
Wait, in the projects, we're just as French as you are.
Oh, really?
With you guys, it's not "made in France," it's "Mohammed in France."
-Hey, what you just say? -Hey, what you talking 'bout?
-No, relax. -Don't calm down.
-Sorry, Stéphane, you should-- -Yes, calm down.
-Mo? -That's great. It's funny.
-No, it's not funny. -I'm confused. Did I say something wrong?
Well, I don't think anything he said is funny.
Mathieu, please, go take a walk.
-Now, please. -Maréchal, heel.
He better walk his doggie.
-Yeah, take a walk. -There. It's not his fault.
My nephew, he…
His factory collapsed, and now he's unemployed, divorced--
Hey!
-That's the finish of Mass, I do believe. -Mm.
You should know that Stéphane is very Christian.
And it would be nice for him to chat a little with the parishioners.
-Mm, no, but thanks anyway. -It's really so perfect, I know. Oh, yes.
-But I haven't been to Mass in years. -Seems now is your chance to return.
-Simone would love it. I promise. -No.
Yes, Stéphane is very into religion.
The idea would be to plunder the budget of the army,
for constructing, uh, churches and, uh, and mosques.
Ah, well, look. The parishioners.
-Hello, Mr. Blé. -Hello.
We all know that your family is very religious.
We were in New York recently.
We were lucky enough to attend a Mass in Harlem.
-Wow. -It was, uh…
-Amazing. -Intense.
We wanted to ask if you might sing a little, uh…
some gospel here.
-Yes, Mr. Blé. -Uh, well, no.
Well, go on. Why not?
-Uh, no. -But why not?
Giscard, uh, played the accordion. Why don't you sing, huh?
This is such a great idea. I-I believe it's a great idea.
-Oh, wonderful! -He really has an amazing voice, truly.
Let's go on the steps. That's superb. Then everyone can see. Yes, Stéphane, go.
What? I can't sing.
-Yes, he sings. -What are you doing?
-You can't sing gospel-- -It's perfect. He sings very well.
Sing. Sing, sing!
He'll sing.
-Come on, Mr. Blé. Like New York. -Go ahead. Come on.
-You can't sing in front of everybody. -Stop. Of course he can.
-Watch. Go on. -Nah, man.
Hello, Father.
Go. Start.
Wow.
-Those aren't the lyrics. -The Wolof version.
Yeah!
Whoo!
That's my cousin! Yeah!
Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah!
Ha!
Great, Stéphane, man. Good job. Great work. Now let's go.
Now what? We can't leave the party now.
Don't worry, Éric.
When I tell you not to worry, I'm in control.
Trust it's all been handled.
No, what don't you understand? I asked you to bring him down a peg.
Now, he's on every single channel, blessing the crowd!
-Why be president when he can be Pope? -Listen, I'm doing my best.
-What can I do? The idiot is good. -No!
Hang on. Stay put.
He hung up just now, huh?
That idiot is good.
-Etienne? -What do you think you're doing?
-Listen-- -You said you'd steal left-wing votes.
-Well-- You-- -The old church crowd are mine, William.
-You're not doing what we discussed. I got this. What else can I say?
Call you back.
Pain in the ass.
Oh, thank you. That's cool, that's cool.
Ah, what a lovely family. Thank you.
-Sorry. Excuse me. -You're welcome.
Stéphane, we should go, okay?
-This is good. -This was an awesome idea, coming here.
-It was great. All right. Let's go. -Yeah, it's going great.
You wanna know our lives, how things happen here, yeah?
-Uh, yeah! -Yeah? Great. Come with me now.
-What's happening? -An issue with a farmer.
So how's it going?
It's cool. We're chillin'. It's the countryside, you know.
-You're okay? They welcomed you? -They're a little weird, but…
Hang on. Do you mind if we talk later? I can't talk now.
Are those shots?
Uh, not exactly. I'll tell you later. Bye, dear.
Come any closer, I'll blow my head off!
Who's that?
Hervé. He's really not a bad guy. He's just unlucky.
They're seizing his farm, and he's drowning in debt.
And his wife split with the rep from Monsanto
who was selling him GMOs.
Thank you, Mr. Mayor. We saw your constituents.
-It was great. Stéphane, let's bounce. -No.
-Let's go, team. -I won't let him down!
-Suicide is a real problem. -Oh, shit.
Mo and I have lost friends that way. We had no idea.
Who, Vegeta?
-Yeah. -Yeah, but he was a fool, man.
May he rest in peace. It wasn't his fault. Peace.
-I won't let him down. -We're not gonna die.
I won't let him down.
-Hervé! -Stop. Stop.
-What are you doing? No, no, no. -My name is Stéphane Blé!
A candidate running for president. All right?
You're gonna be fine.
-Go to hell! -For fuck's sake, he's armed!
-Let's go now! Let's get out! -Stéphane, are you crazy? Think of Marion!
Stéphane, hang on. Don't.
Please, stop. Please, Stéphane!
-Shit. No, no, no. -Hervé!
-You really are stupid. -I just wanna chat! Just chat, okay?
-You're not armed? -No!
Take off your coat!
And your balaclava!
I'm not wearing one, Hervé.
Okay, sorry.
-Stéphane, stop. -Wait, wait.
-Don't, please. You can't, man. -This guy's the nervous type.
-Yeah, looks like it. -Here. Have this.
Here. Bring this baton.
It could protect you.
But he'll clearly see I've got a baton.
No, no, no. It goes in your pocket. It's small.
-Hurry. -He'll see it.
No, he won't.
-Now, look. Invisible. -Let's go, let's go.
Let's go, Stéphane. We have a campaign. We have a campaign. Oh, fuck.
Hervé…
I'm approaching.
-God, no! -Stéphane!
Sorry! That went off by itself!
-What the actual fuck, man? -It'll be okay.
Oh, wow! You're lucky. You're really well-endowed!
It's true what they say.
If I had one like that, my wife wouldn't have left me!
Hervé, you're droppin' a lot of details here.
I just wanna know, what's the problem?
My problem is guys like you!
I know you guys! All talk, no action!
What do you want? You just showing off?
-You and your big dick? -Whoa.
You don't think I can see the cameras?
Cut! Come on, come on!
Come on!
Hervé, it's just me and you, my guy.
-I'll come to you. -No! No!
Hervé!
-What? -I'm comin' over.
You and me, good vibes only. Okay?
-Like hip-hop parties. -I don't talk American!
Sorry, my bad.
You know, Hervé, I've been around the block, my man.
And I traveled so I could help kids in Mexico.
I know a little Spanish.
Conchita de la luz.
Hable donde agua.
That's how you say…
"I'm coming in peace. I guarantee it."
Come on, open the door.
Your Spanish is good. You seem really nice. Come on in.
Oh, fuck. He went inside. He went inside.
-William. William! -Fuck.
Hey, if he takes a bullet…
do I still get paid?
What are you-- We're unpaid volunteers. Mo, no one's paid.
-What? -Nobody's paid.
-I'm not paid? -No. Nobody's paid.
I don't accept this, Hervé.
This all looks great, man. Why turn to suicide?
Well…
-Hey, you even have a pig. -A sheep, man.
-Oh. -That's Britney.
She's my favorite, but she's sick and gonna die.
And when that happens, well, just emptiness, right?
Yes, but life is still beautiful. Isn't it? Right?
Well, my parents have passed, my wife left me as well.
I had to mortgage my place here.
No, but, you know the saying. "As long as you're healthy…"
I'm sick. Autoimmune.
Can't have kids. Can't get hard anymore.
You and me are the same.
Look, I'm broke, and my mother's naggin' all day.
Now my wife and I can't get pregnant.
-So, I know, huh? -Even with your…
Yeah, even with my… Well, I have no reason to mislead you.
I see desperate people all day long.
Except that mine are teens. They think they're done for.
And I'm fighting for my kids. For you too, truthfully.
You seem too dumb to be a liar. What's your drink?
Oh, uh…I'm not sure.
-Uh, pear juice, please? -Yeah?
-Yeah. -Pear booze?
-No, juice. -Yeah, a shot.
Oh, from a bottle, right?
You got it. Here.
Uh, what's going on now?
Nothing's happening. There's nothing happening.
I can go down the chimney.
Uh, no.
-Why not? -What chimney?
Well, that one over there.
-Why not? Go. -Marion's calling me, guys.
-Marion's calling me. What should I say? -Uh, nothing.
Things are quiet. Everything's fine.
-Yeah, Lamine? -Yeah, Marion.
Uh, it's-it's all fine. The sun is out.
Just here with William, uh, Mo, Yasmine, uh…
-Yeah, we're all-- -We're here, Marion. Hello.
Don't fuck with me! I can see you!
What do you mean you can see me? You see me now?
BLÉ ENTERS THE HOME OF ARMED MADMAN
Well, in fact, uh, S-Stéphane, he was talking with that guy.
He just walked right in, and that's as much as we know right now.
-But don't worry. Of course I'm worried!
Those guys are gonna launch an attack, for sure.
Hey, no. They won't attack. No one's attacking. There's no attack.
Okay, Marion, take care. Uh, I'll keep you posted.
Hervé, what are you doing? Quit screwing around!
Don't be a fucking idiot!
Stéphane, you seem nice, but I have to end it.
Quit it! You can't be serious!
Oh, shit.
What's happening?
-She's giving birth. -But you said she was about to die.
I don't know. The vet told me that she was sterile.
Well, it makes sense why you lost it all.
You're a bit of an idiot, huh, Hervé?
Okay.
What are you doing?
-What are you doing? -Put this on.
-What? -Well, you'll learn.
Just help me. You'll become a dad too.
-Okay. -Let's go.
All right.
-All right. -Oh.
-Hey. Okay, push, baby. Push. -Oh.
Push, baby, push!
-Oh, I touched its vag. -That's good.
That's good.
-Ugh! -You're doing good, man.
Come out with your hands on your head!
We're launching an attack!
Whoa. Hey, guys, hang on! Something's going on in here!
Just stay focused.
All right, here we go. All right, push!
Push, baby! It's beautiful! This birth, Stéphane, it's beautiful!
Oh, no.
-Yes, it is, Stéphane. -No.
It's fucking beautiful! It's beautiful!
There.
Oh, my God. I touched a sheep's--
That's good.
Come on, come on.
Good job! Thank you.
Please, take her.
That's the placenta there.
-Super. -For you.
-Huh? -For you.
Eat it.
It's tradition.
For you.
You're such a moron. That's gross.
-What? -That's disgusting. I'd never eat that.
You Parisians are stupid, huh?
The hero of the day, as we all know,
is the new presidential candidate, Stéphane Blé.
After tense negotiations, he saved the life of Hervé Josserand,
a farmer who had attempted to take his own life several times before.
For more on the Blé case,
tune into our broadcast this evening at 7 p.m.
Montjoie Saint Denis!
Blé has been hit! The candidate is down!