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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[audience applauding, cheering]
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Got a little treat for you tonight.
My first guest is a young man,
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and when I say young man,
I mean a young man.
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He's landed the lead role in an NBC pilot,
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and he won that audition
with a song and dance routine,
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and we thought he did it so well
that you might like to meet him tonight.
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Would you welcome Reef Hawk.
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- [audience applauding]
- Reef.
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["Give My Regards to Broadway" playing]
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{\an8}♪ Give my regards to Broadway ♪
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{\an8}♪ Remember me to Herald Square ♪
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{\an8}♪ Tell all the gang
At 42nd Street ♪
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{\an8}♪ That I will soon be there ♪
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{\an8}♪ Whisper of how I'm yearning ♪
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{\an8}♪ To mingle with the old-time throng ♪
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{\an8}♪ Give my regards to Old Broadway ♪
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{\an8}♪ And tell 'em I'll be there 'ere long! ♪
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{\an8}[shoes tapping]
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{\an8}[audience member cheers]
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{\an8}♪ Give my regards to Old Broadway ♪
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{\an8}♪ And tell 'em I'll be there ♪
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{\an8}♪ Yeah, I'll be there ♪
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{\an8}♪ Yeah, I'll be there 'ere long ♪
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- ♪ Yeah ♪
- [music stops]
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- [audience cheering]
- [Johnny Carson chuckles] Sure.
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Sure.
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[friend] Reef Hawk, for the last four
decades, America's favorite movie star.
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What an unbelievable career you've had.
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Starring in three
of the biggest franchises in film history,
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winning two Oscars.
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And this fall, you'll shoot
the biggest movie you've ever made.
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You've had five years off to reflect.
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I mean, is that what you're gonna say?
"Reflect"?
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I mean, h-how are you going to frame
the five years thing?
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Also, I should literally be
a famous-ass interviewer.
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Even when I'm fake interviewing I'm, like,
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- incredible at it.
- Incredible.
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Thank you. So, what are you gonna say
about the five years thing?
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Well, I was thinking
I was going to say... [sighs]
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...I've been working since I was six
and needed a break,
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and that I needed to find out
who I was away from all this.
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- I love that.
- Mm-hmm, that works. Totally.
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I won't say that I was hiding a heroin
addiction from the public,
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and that my best friends from high school
and my insane lawyer
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helped me cover it up for years
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- so no one ever found out.
- Hmm. That is a really smart omission.
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- Strong omish.
- Mm-hmm. No admish.
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You're gonna be amazing, babe.
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- [friend 2] You got this.
- Yeah.
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- I'm very lucky to have you two.
- [friend 2] Mm-hmm.
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And thank you both for being here,
and thank you for helping me.
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Yeah, babe. Now get out there
and tap-dance for Mommy.
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- Yeah, there are the jazz hands.
- [friend 2 laughing]
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[friend] That's it.
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- [bell rings]
- Two minutes.
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[host] All right, look. Before
we get started, I just gotta say
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this is a career highlight for me.
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You, Tom Cruise, Denzel,
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- you're my favorite actors of all time.
- [Reef] Thanks.
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So, look, first we're gonna start off
with the box office records and, uh...
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- What?
- Do you... Do you mind?
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I don't know if anyone talked
to you but, um...
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- Oh, my God. He's...
- Oh, my God.
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- Oh, no.
- He's asking about the Oscar thing.
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I know. I can tell.
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When you introduce me,
would you mind not forgetting to say
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"two-time Oscar winner"
before you say Reef Hawk?
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Of-Of course.
I was planning on doing it anyway.
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I mean, I thought it was
something serious. Of course, man.
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- [mutters]
- Yeah. I mean, I-I would...
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I would never even say it.
It's just that sometimes
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people forget.
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Who forgets?
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You are the most beloved movie star
in the world.
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I'm just honored to have you on the show.
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- It's gonna be a cakewalk for you.
- Oh, thanks, man.
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Hi. How are you?
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We're Reef's best friends
from high school,
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but, like, we have our own lives too.
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- We're just here supporting him, yeah.
- Here to support.
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But, listen, you are so fucking charming.
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- [chuckles] Yeah.
- Uh, enough of that.
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I don't want to fan out too much.
Uh, you ready?
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Yeah, let's go for it.
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- Let's go for it.
- [bell rings]
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- Let's try one.
- We'll get one going. Here we go.
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[announcer] Three, two, one.
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[host] Tonight I'm interviewing somebody
I never thought I would interview.
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I'm talking about a legend, an icon,
what is there even to say?
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Reef Hawk is in the house.
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Welcome.
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Oh, wait. Sorry, I messed up.
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I left out the Oscar part. I-I'm sorry.
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Guys, got to do it again.
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- Sorry about that.
- No. Oh, no.
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- We're leaving this in.
- No, no, no.
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- [stammers]
- No, we are not starting over.
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[chuckles] People at home
need to see this.
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Let me tell you right now,
if I'm ever the kind of out-of-touch jerk
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who needs to restart an intro
because you didn't mention an award,
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brother, we got way bigger problems.
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My man. My man.
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Look, that's why the world loves you, man.
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The real Reef Hawk. That's amazing.
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Reef Hawk, are you ready?
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- We're already started.
- [host laughs] Yes, we are.
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[Reef, crew laughing]
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- We've got to go.
- All right. Babe, babe.
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I know you love MOPing with the crew,
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but we're gonna hit crazy traffic
if we don't get out of here.
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What's MOPing?
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M-O-P.
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- Man-of-the-People-ing.
- [crew laughing]
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That's actually
pretty fucking funny, homey.
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- Thanks.
- [Reef] Yeah, we should get going.
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All right, can I talk to you guys
for a second?
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- Of course. Hey, guys.
- Yeah.
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- Thanks so much.
- Oh, we're good.
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- Thank you.
- Bye. [chuckles]
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Uh, did anyone else see
the silver fox eye-fucking me?
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- What? Ooh.
- I am so serious.
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It was so blatant and out in the open,
I almost want to, like, write an op-ed.
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- Really?
- But I liked it.
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- Reef.
- Reef.
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- Reef. Reef. Whoa.
- What are you doing?
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- Whoa.
- [stutters]
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We don't know those guys.
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They could literally go online
and say that I was, like,
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being fake or MOPing
or whatever insult you just said,
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and then people will think
that I'm like that.
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[both] Okay.
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- So... [stammers]
- "So"?
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That would be, like, a fucking disaster.
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- Reef, chill out, dude.
- Yeah.
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- Dude, take a deep breath, okay?
- Take a deep breath.
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[breathing deeply]
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It's just...
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- It's just that you--
- [door clangs]
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It's just that you're always being
watched these days and observed.
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- Yeah.
- Everywhere.
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Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's really weird.
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It's really weird.
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- Okay, but, babe, you just have to--
- [door clangs]
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- It's okay.
- [sighs] Yeah.
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Look, it... This was, like,
a really stressful situation for you.
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- Yeah.
- So just take a deep breath.
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- It's all good.
- I'm sorry, okay?
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- Yeah.
- I... I was just being dumb
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- and trying to be funny, and...
- Yeah.
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- No, I'm sorry.
- No, please.
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- I have a lot of anxiety today. I just...
- Of course.
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- It was huge.
- My bad.
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- You don't have to do that.
- No, come on.
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- Love you guys.
- Come here.
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- Aw, you love us.
- Mmm, you love us.
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- I love you guys.
- [friend, muffled] We love you.
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- By the way, you were amazing.
- [phone ringing]
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- Oh, my gosh. He is a fan.
- You got everything you needed.
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{\an8}- Yeah?
- [phone ringing]
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{\an8}Oh.
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{\an8}[ringing continues]
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Shit.
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- Hello.
- Bubbi, it's Ira.
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We got a big fucking problem.
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00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,651
It's fucked up. It's really fucked up.
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It's a total fucking nightmare.
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I'll be over at 10:30 a.m. tomorrow.
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I'll have my assistant text your assistant
my breakfast order.
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Beg her not to fuck it up for me.
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- [line beeps]
- [breathes heavily]
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[door clangs]
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Do I have shit on my face?
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- [Reef] Yes.
- I do?
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- Yes.
- Oh, my God. That's fucking embarrassing.
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- Jesus.
- Ira, tell me what the fuck is going on.
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There's a video.
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Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
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- What's on it?
- I have no idea.
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I thought you buried everything
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that needed to be buried
without it getting out to the public.
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When I got sober five years ago,
I changed my life.
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And thank God you did.
But since you've been out of the game,
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everything's changed.
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For the record, you are the GOAT.
The true GOAT, Bubbi.
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You were the best to ever do it.
I swear to God.
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I hate to say it, but it's nice to be back
on the fucking court with ya.
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We used to be out here in these streets
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smashing fucking concrete,
getting our hands dirty.
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00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,037
Hollywood was our goddamn glory hole.
192
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These kids today,
they don't know how we used to do it.
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You, me, Rourke, little Chucky Sheen,
194
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,086
Stephen Hawking, you know,
the original Pussy Posse?
195
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,838
You boys kept me busy, didn't ya?
196
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:09,049
Can't you just make this go away
like you always used to?
197
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,301
I can't, Bubbi.
The Internet changed everything.
198
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,553
I know you're panicked,
199
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,889
and we used to get this shit wrapped up
with a briefcase of cash in a day or two.
200
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,349
It ain't like that anymore.
201
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:20,018
- [sighs]
- You can text me or call me
202
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,855
twenty-four hours a day,
just like the old days.
203
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,899
Except for Tuesdays
from 3:00 p.m. till about 10:00 p.m.
204
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,484
What's on Tuesdays?
205
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,403
Personal shit. Don't worry about it.
206
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,363
- Oh.
- What?
207
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,073
- Huh.
- [stomach gurgling]
208
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,616
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hmm.
209
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,452
Do I have to be in here?
210
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,121
Can't I just wait until you're done?
211
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,039
[sighs] Bubbi,
I'm on a massive time crunch.
212
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,124
By the way,
213
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,751
- I love this gay wallpaper.
- Thanks.
214
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,378
Xander bought all the art in the house.
215
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,629
Very colorful.
216
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,715
Very gay and classy.
217
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:52,176
Look, Bubbi, there are some steps
we can take in the meantime
218
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,260
while we're waiting this out.
219
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,429
But I need you to be
completely honest with me.
220
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,472
There are no more secrets between us.
221
00:09:57,556 --> 00:10:00,392
Look into my eyes.
Do not break eye contact with me, Bubbi.
222
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,019
Have you ever killed someone?
223
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,271
No, Ira. I've never killed someone.
224
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,898
I can't wipe my ass with this.
225
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,735
This performative, "I'm a good person,"
environmental toilet paper.
226
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,403
- What's your assistant's name?
- Sammy.
227
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,696
- Sammy!
- Yeah?
228
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:13,947
- Oh.
- Come in here.
229
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:17,451
Can you go into the master
and bring the toilet paper here?
230
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,411
- [Ira] The good toilet paper.
- The good toilet paper.
231
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,246
- Yeah.
- [Ira] And, Bubbi, just real quick,
232
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,623
it's primary not master.
233
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,291
- What thread count is it?
- Sorry.
234
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,542
[Sammy] I don't know, Ira.
235
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,337
- It's Scott from the store.
- [Ira] Toss it, let me see.
236
00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:30,672
Jesus Christ.
237
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:31,840
It smells like, um...
238
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,593
like earring backs in here.
239
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,095
- [Ira] Yes. That means you're healthy.
- [coughing]
240
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,263
[exclaims]
241
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,140
- [Sammy coughs]
- [stammers] What the fuck?
242
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:41,558
Cover your mouth. That's disgusting.
243
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,185
- You've got germs.
- [Sammy] I'm... I'm sorry, I--
244
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,479
- Besides the health stuff, it's so rude.
- [Sammy] I'm sorry.
245
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,815
Aside from me getting sick, it's rude
246
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,651
because those particles fly
into my nose and m...
247
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:51,860
- Do y... Can you--
- Sammy, just--
248
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:54,071
Actually, is this fucked up
to say I kind of like this?
249
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,697
[Ira] Turn around, Bubbi, eye contact.
250
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,032
Come closer.
251
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,993
- Have you ever killed someone?
- No, Ira.
252
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,328
Okay.
253
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,830
Bubbi, I'm not a judgy person.
254
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:07,501
I'm more of a "you do you,
I'ma go ahead and do me," girl.
255
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,877
Ira!
256
00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:12,172
I have never killed someone!
257
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:14,591
For real!
258
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:21,306
You're making me uncomfortable
with your anger.
259
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,726
And I think that's
something we should look at.
260
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,937
You can have at the scraps.
261
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,899
- I'm sorry, what?
- You can have at the scraps.
262
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,443
That's really nice of you, Ira. Thank you.
263
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,320
You know, she's actually great.
264
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,364
- Yeah.
- I like her. Next, have you ever watched
265
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,448
- anyone be killed?
- No, Ira.
266
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,825
Have you ever paid someone
to kill someone?
267
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,243
- No.
- Have you ever fucked a dead person?
268
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,744
- No.
- Has a dead person ever fucked you?
269
00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,162
No! [sighs]
270
00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:45,581
How does that even work?
271
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,916
Let's just say it starts with Mel Gibson
and a whole lot of poppers,
272
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,252
and ends two decks over with
the 10:00 a.m. Nate'n Al's breakfast.
273
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,420
You do the math, gorgeous.
274
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:55,507
Just to be clear, you're saying
how a corpse fucks a human being
275
00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:58,427
is that Mel Gibson takes poppers?
276
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,179
You're saying that. You're saying that.
277
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,014
I would never betray a client like that,
278
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,724
and I'm offended
you would even suggest it.
279
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,768
I would lose my license to practice law
in the state of California if I did.
280
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:10,230
But just between us,
it's pretty fucked up actually.
281
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,357
They partied with the guy
like he was alive all weekend.
282
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,151
They actually made
a cute little picture about it.
283
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,527
Weekend at Bernie's?
284
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,654
Yes, Weekend at Bernie's, Bubbi.
285
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:20,115
You're hysterical.
286
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,075
You've gotten funnier.
287
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,870
I need to know everyone who hates you.
288
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:27,206
Uh... who hates me?
289
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:28,790
Fuck.
290
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,670
My first manager
from when I was a kid probably.
291
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:37,591
Good, right. The guy who represents kid
actors and works out of the bowling alley.
292
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,843
- Who else?
- [sighs]
293
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,846
My old on-and-off ex-girlfriend, Savannah.
294
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,723
Okay, and?
295
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,560
- Who else?
- That's it.
296
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:51,355
[chuckles, groans]
297
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,523
Who hates him?
298
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,107
Uh, what?
299
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,985
Who hates him?
300
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,529
Well, off the top of my head,
301
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,949
your old manager,
your old trainer, your new trainer,
302
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:04,201
your old pool guy,
your old, old pool guys,
303
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,285
your mom.
304
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:06,453
[whispers] Your mom hates you.
305
00:13:06,537 --> 00:13:09,248
Uh, those three shelter dogs
that you got when you were lonely
306
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,917
and then returned when you realized,
like, they don't wipe their own asses,
307
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,335
and I sure as fuck wasn't gonna do it.
308
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:16,839
Um, your old boxing coach,
your old tennis instructor, your ex,
309
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:18,966
and I have, like, a separate list for,
like, directors, actors,
310
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,593
costume designers, hair and makeup people,
craft service, whatever, la-da-da-da-da,
311
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:24,179
and, like, executives that you've worked
with if you want me to start on that.
312
00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:25,430
Jesus Christ.
313
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:26,515
[whispers] Sorry.
314
00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:30,978
Can I just say something?
My old trainer doesn't hate me,
315
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,021
because he passed away.
316
00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:36,191
- Okay.
- I'm just saying.
317
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:37,985
- [Sammy] Mm-hmm.
- Hey,
318
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:41,488
I believe you, pal, I really do.
That's... That's awesome.
319
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,701
You need to go see these people
and apologize to them.
320
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,035
Make it right with them.
321
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:50,330
And without them realizing it, feel out
if they're the ones behind the video.
322
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,749
I don't know if I can do that, Ira.
323
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,209
That's way too intense.
324
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,044
Bubbi, you don't have to mean it.
325
00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:59,256
You just have to go through the motions
of apologizing to save your ass.
326
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,133
All right, Bubbi, I gotta get going.
327
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:02,801
Tom Hanks body-slammed his housekeeper.
328
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,136
It's not as bad as it sounds.
329
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,555
They were just roughhousing,
but she is in her 70s.
330
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:07,973
Shouldn't be horsing around like that.
331
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,392
So, I should get over to Cedars
and make sure shit's kosher.
332
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,436
By the way,
incredible crushed ice at Cedars.
333
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,021
I'll let you know if I hear anything.
334
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:16,148
[sighing]
335
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,693
[mutters, sighs]
336
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,257
[exhales sharply]
337
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,384
[sighs]
338
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:47,137
My assistant said all of these
people don't like me.
339
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,555
Was I an asshole?
340
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,182
[inhales sharply]
341
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,980
Do you want to take longer
342
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,315
- to answer that?
- [friend 2 chuckles]
343
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,942
- Just to people you interacted with.
- Yeah.
344
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,276
- Not like fans and stuff.
- No.
345
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:05,197
I think there maybe was a time
where your success did go to your head.
346
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,990
[chuckles] And maybe you weren't, like,
347
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,493
super considerate
about how you spoke to people.
348
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,036
[Xander] And now you're very aware.
349
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:14,289
But up until, like, a few years ago,
you could kind of get away with
350
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:15,874
- being a secret dick.
- [friend 2] Mmm.
351
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:19,044
We've known each other for 40 years. We've
been there and supported one another.
352
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,172
We have always known
the person that was in there.
353
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,216
Yeah, and go easy on yourself.
354
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,301
You were literally on drugs.
355
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,970
It's way easier to support you
356
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,179
- now that you're sober.
- Mmm.
357
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:32,224
I mean, at least we don't have to come
grab you out of that creepy doll store
358
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,351
you used to buy heroin at downtown.
359
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,396
I mean, you know how many
empty, naked baby dolls
360
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,940
I had to explain to the housekeeper?
Yeah, I had to look up in Spanish,
361
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,484
"Don't worry, Maria. It's no for sexual.
362
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:43,902
It's for drug."
363
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:47,364
By the way, zero parking
at the heroin doll store downtown.
364
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:51,994
Yeah.
365
00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:55,914
It got bad.
366
00:15:56,874 --> 00:15:58,542
It got really scary.
367
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:02,045
I don't ever want to see
that look in your eye again.
368
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:05,924
You never will.
369
00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:08,677
[sighs] So, let's do what Ira says.
370
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,263
Make the apologies
and find out who's extorting you.
371
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,473
He always gets you out of this stuff.
372
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:14,474
It's going to be so fun.
373
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:17,895
I'm already putting together a playlist
for the apology/who's-extorting-Reef tour.
374
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,771
- [chuckles]
- Uh, hey, Siri...
375
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,273
- [friend 2] Mmm.
- ...whip me up a playlist
376
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,026
for a middle-aged man
in extreme state of crisis.
377
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,861
Um... But keep it fun and slutty.
378
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,362
And skinny.
379
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:30,449
["Where the Party At" playing]
380
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,338
[both] ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
381
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,798
♪ If the party's where you're at
Then let me know ♪
382
00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:49,301
♪ Said, uh, don't be trippin'
When you see us in the club ♪
383
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,346
- [music continues in background]
- I will say, I kind of hate extortion,
384
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,640
but the upside is that we all get
to drive around together
385
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:56,683
like the dumb sluts we used to be
in high school.
386
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,477
And I am obsessed
387
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,103
- with that part of extortion.
- Beyond.
388
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:03,315
What I really enjoy about it
is that we get to be here with you...
389
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:04,398
- [Xander] Yes.
- ...Reef.
390
00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:06,401
And guess what else I brought with me?
391
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:09,445
- OMG. Are we going to smoke?
- [chuckles]
392
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:12,907
We're not going to smoke. We're 120, okay?
393
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,243
- We're going to fake smoke. [chuckles]
- Yes.
394
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,371
I cannot believe kids vape these days.
395
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:20,582
- They are so gay.
- They... They're so lame.
396
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,167
If I saw a kid vaping,
I would literally run over to him,
397
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:26,171
push him over and just be like,
"Nice look, virgin."
398
00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:29,258
[both laughing]
399
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,260
They're literally an oral fedora.
400
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,720
Fuck. I haven't seen this guy
in like 30 years,
401
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:36,557
and now I'm gonna be late
to apologize, and I...
402
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,392
I'm gonna look like
even more of an asshole.
403
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:42,187
I've always said it's not an amends
unless you power top it.
404
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,565
Just get in there
and just dom it out, babe.
405
00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:45,482
[sighs]
406
00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:48,068
- I love outlandish humor with my friends.
- Mm-hmm.
407
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,571
[bowling pins clatter]
408
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:54,157
You know, kid, I found this guy Reef
over at Oakwoods, same as you,
409
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,076
and I signed him.
410
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,245
At this booth.
411
00:17:58,328 --> 00:17:59,454
Same as you.
412
00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:00,747
Right here at this booth.
413
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,917
Reef, can't wait to work with you.
414
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:06,086
I know our schedules will line up
one of these days.
415
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,629
Can you imagine them
416
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:11,049
letting us two silverbacks
pound our chests in the same cage?
417
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,843
- [chuckles]
- I'd sit down and order a salad,
418
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,052
but I've got a 4:30 callback
419
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:15,971
- for that Valtrex commercial.
- Valtrex?
420
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,807
Yeah. I'm reading for the grandson
of the woman who has genital herpes.
421
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:20,559
It's actually quite a complex character.
422
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,394
I love that. Is Ellen casting it?
423
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,730
- Yep. Ellen's such a sweet girl, huh?
- Okay. I know she is.
424
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,814
And we love her.
425
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:28,108
Ah, fuck me. I'm late.
426
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:29,276
Beautiful day, guys.
427
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,028
Okay. Hey, knock 'em dead, will you?
428
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,613
Always do and will do.
429
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:34,907
Oh, wow.
430
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:37,492
[laughs, coughing]
431
00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:42,915
Quit cigs. Sixteen days now.
432
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:43,999
[coughs] Sorry.
433
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,460
- That's awesome, Red.
- [laughs] Yes, thank you.
434
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:48,170
Red Rodriguez.
435
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,631
Manager to the stars.
436
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,466
Always bet on Red, baby.
437
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,676
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- [Red laughs]
438
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,512
Still out here hustling.
439
00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:02,392
[clears throat] Red.
440
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,353
Mmm.
441
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,564
I came here to apologize to you.
442
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,693
[inhales sharply]
Can I ask you something, Reef?
443
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,195
Of course.
444
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:16,740
What are you sorry for?
445
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:21,078
I'm really sorry I fired you.
446
00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:30,462
You know, I remember
when I met you by the pool,
447
00:19:31,255 --> 00:19:33,298
and you had no front teeth, you know?
448
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:37,219
You were so fucking adorable. [chuckles]
449
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,596
You were really there for me at that time.
450
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:42,307
I was, I was.
451
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,978
But you had this fucking light in you.
452
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,564
You'd light up my days.
453
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:51,149
And I'm not just talking about the work.
The work was always brilliant.
454
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,609
But you...
455
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:55,654
Well, you started getting jobs,
456
00:19:57,114 --> 00:19:59,366
- and there he is.
- [Reef chuckles]
457
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,244
[chuckles] There he is, huh?
458
00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:06,039
And I was fucking proud, I gotta tell you,
and not just because I'm your manager but...
459
00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:07,124
You know,
460
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:12,212
it was almost as if it was me, in a way,
I was so proud.
461
00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:15,507
Then you start running around Hollywood,
462
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:17,467
and you're getting
some bit parts in movies,
463
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,344
you're hitting the clubs,
you're getting some pussy,
464
00:20:19,428 --> 00:20:20,929
and I'm getting nervous.
465
00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:24,266
Not just 'cause I don't want you
to get in trouble for your career,
466
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,561
but I'm worried about you
getting in trouble for you.
467
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:30,814
And I hear things.
468
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:33,233
I mean, weed and all that I know, okay,
469
00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:34,985
but I hear the harder stuff.
470
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,196
[inhales deeply] The harder stuff.
471
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:41,408
And, um, I didn't know how to handle it,
you know?
472
00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,911
I did the best I could at that time.
473
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,623
I wanted to smack the shit out of you,
474
00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:49,458
but I still worked for you.
475
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,294
Really, honestly,
I didn't know what my role was.
476
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,006
You know, in that whole thing.
I just didn't know.
477
00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:02,513
Maybe I handled it right,
maybe I did the right thing...
478
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:05,849
maybe I didn't.
479
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:10,938
I really don't know. I don't know
what's right or wrong in this situation.
480
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,273
Anyway.
481
00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:15,692
Look, I didn't expect you to stay.
I didn't expect that.
482
00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:18,320
I know... I know I'm a joke to you guys now.
483
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,531
The bowling alley, the roulette wheel.
484
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:22,866
I know who the fuck I am.
485
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:25,118
I know what the fuck I am.
486
00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:30,332
Which is, I'm the guy you leave
if I do my job right.
487
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,000
Okay?
488
00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:33,877
I know that. It's all right.
489
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:39,049
[laughs] I loved all you
crazy little cocksuckers.
490
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,342
- I really did.
- [chuckles]
491
00:21:40,843 --> 00:21:42,094
But you were different, you see.
492
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:43,804
You were different. You were like...
493
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:46,431
[smacks lips] You were like family to me.
494
00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:48,684
Yeah.
495
00:21:52,229 --> 00:21:53,272
Yeah.
496
00:21:55,691 --> 00:21:59,820
And you know, what gets me is that not one
of you guys ever picked up the phone.
497
00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:02,781
Not one.
498
00:22:03,824 --> 00:22:04,867
Every time with you guys,
499
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:07,244
the last time we spoke
was the last time we spoke.
500
00:22:09,246 --> 00:22:12,332
I mean, all I ever wanted was
to pick up the phone and hear,
501
00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:15,085
"Hey, Red."
502
00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:22,968
Could've called me.
503
00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:28,724
I didn't have your number.
504
00:22:38,442 --> 00:22:41,153
[people chattering]
505
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:51,538
- Hi.
- [gasps]
506
00:22:51,622 --> 00:22:53,373
I just want to say I'm a big fan.
507
00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:56,460
- Thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you.
- Yeah.
508
00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:57,961
Mate, you're Reef fucking Hawk.
509
00:22:58,045 --> 00:22:59,379
Fuck! You fucking serious?
510
00:22:59,463 --> 00:23:01,715
- There was a period where I did not...
- [fan] ...ecstasy on a night out...
511
00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:02,925
...speak to my son for three years.
512
00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,760
...11 years ago in Sydney.
513
00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:06,178
...you and Sean Penn.
514
00:23:06,261 --> 00:23:08,096
I chucked it in the dumpo
'cause she was on the blob.
515
00:23:08,180 --> 00:23:11,767
Aside from my feelings on the film,
technically, it's astonishing.
516
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:14,269
[fan] I must admit,
I feel like you chucked it in my dumpo.
517
00:23:14,353 --> 00:23:15,687
Oh, actually.
518
00:23:15,771 --> 00:23:17,231
[fan] What's your phone number?
519
00:23:20,025 --> 00:23:22,402
[inhales deeply]
520
00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:24,988
Hey, pal, excuse me. Yo.
521
00:23:25,072 --> 00:23:27,074
Hey, I don't want to interrupt you.
I never do this.
522
00:23:27,157 --> 00:23:28,116
I'm a big fan.
523
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,494
I'm not here to blow you up or bug you.
524
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:34,581
I just want to tell you I'm renting this
for a while, wanted to introduce myself.
525
00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:37,751
- Reef.
- Yeah, no, I know.
526
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,338
I'm Buddy. I'm everybody's buddy.
527
00:23:42,506 --> 00:23:43,924
We're having some people over today.
528
00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:46,510
If we make noise,
some rap music or something, just tell me.
529
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,720
We got tons of food.
We're gonna have some celebs.
530
00:23:48,804 --> 00:23:50,055
Cool, awesome.
531
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:54,184
Hon, the McLaren's taking up both spots,
and Yudi's pulling up from Nobu.
532
00:23:54,268 --> 00:23:55,269
[Buddy] I'll take care of it.
533
00:23:55,352 --> 00:23:56,687
Honey, get off your feet.
You gotta lay down.
534
00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:59,940
How many cigarettes did Dr. Crane say
I could smoke while pregnant again?
535
00:24:00,023 --> 00:24:01,567
[Buddy] Oh, he said zero.
536
00:24:02,651 --> 00:24:04,695
Oh, hey, I know you. You dated my grandma.
537
00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:07,406
- [mutters]
- [Buddy] That's Reef.
538
00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:08,699
Nice to meet you, Queef.
539
00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:10,325
Uh.
540
00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:14,079
Fucking shit, dude.
541
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:15,539
Having my first kid.
542
00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:17,291
Well, congrats.
543
00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:19,126
I'm like a kid having a kid.
544
00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:20,836
But I'm under 60.
545
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,380
That's what they call a Malibu teen dad.
546
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:25,507
[chuckles]
547
00:24:25,591 --> 00:24:26,633
You got kids?
548
00:24:26,717 --> 00:24:28,385
Uh, no.
549
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,761
Oh, yeah. I read that.
550
00:24:30,971 --> 00:24:32,639
Fuck, you're lucky, dude.
551
00:24:32,723 --> 00:24:35,851
You just get to party 24-7.
I gotta deal with this shit.
552
00:24:35,934 --> 00:24:39,104
[sighs] Anyway, all love, homey.
553
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:41,148
Have a good one.
554
00:24:41,231 --> 00:24:43,859
I always do and I will do.
555
00:24:46,612 --> 00:24:48,697
[Sammy] "Man's Search for Meaning."
556
00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:50,741
It's like the most lit Holocaust book.
557
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:53,619
My therapist gave me this one
after my parents' divorce.
558
00:24:53,702 --> 00:24:57,581
And, like, in a way, the divorce was
my family's personal Holocaust.
559
00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,834
You know? Like, the mistress was Hitler.
560
00:25:00,918 --> 00:25:03,295
My mom was like Jesse Jackson,
561
00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:05,964
that black guy that won that medal
'cause he ran really fast.
562
00:25:06,048 --> 00:25:08,509
- Jesse Owens.
- Jesse Owens.
563
00:25:08,592 --> 00:25:10,469
And I was like Anne Frank.
564
00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:13,055
You know, because I was, like, hiding
from my shame.
565
00:25:13,138 --> 00:25:15,599
This book taught me, like,
not to hide anymore.
566
00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:18,560
And I don't think you should either,
so I'm giving this to you.
567
00:25:18,644 --> 00:25:19,937
- [phone ringing]
- It would be good for you.
568
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:21,313
Excuse me.
569
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:23,398
[whispers] Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna give you some privacy.
570
00:25:24,525 --> 00:25:25,526
Ira, what's happening?
571
00:25:25,609 --> 00:25:26,985
Fuck, Bubbi, I'm so glad
I caught you. Holy shit.
572
00:25:27,069 --> 00:25:29,029
- What is it?
- Did you see a pair of sunglasses
573
00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:29,947
after I left your house?
574
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,907
I'm, like, fucked up looking for 'em.
They're Chanel.
575
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:33,534
Ira, are you fucking kidding me?
576
00:25:33,617 --> 00:25:35,494
No, no, I know. I never splurge like that.
577
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:38,247
Ira, you scared the shit out of me.
I thought something had leaked,
578
00:25:38,330 --> 00:25:40,082
or something fucked had happened
with the video.
579
00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:42,626
- Oh, shit. Did something happen?
- I'm asking you!
580
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:45,712
- Are you fucking serious?
- [laughs] Bubbi, I'm fucking with you.
581
00:25:45,796 --> 00:25:47,714
But for real though,
shit is not going well.
582
00:25:47,798 --> 00:25:48,799
I got nothing on my side.
583
00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:51,468
You gotta keep apologizing to people.
All right?
584
00:25:51,552 --> 00:25:53,554
Oh, hey, Bubbi,
sorry if I sound distracted.
585
00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:54,805
I'm getting an IV drip right now.
586
00:25:54,888 --> 00:25:57,599
I'm also doing couples therapy
and playing chess.
587
00:25:57,683 --> 00:25:59,434
I'll call you back when I hear something.
588
00:25:59,518 --> 00:26:00,936
- [line beeps]
- [sighs]
589
00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:06,984
So, do you, like, want me to pretend
that I don't know what's going on
590
00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:09,319
to, like, make things easier for you or...
591
00:26:10,153 --> 00:26:11,238
or... or what?
592
00:26:11,321 --> 00:26:12,656
Let me think on it.
593
00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:16,952
I may just want to pretend things are not
insane with one person in my life.
594
00:26:17,035 --> 00:26:18,036
Sure.
595
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:20,247
[chuckles] What extortion?
596
00:26:20,956 --> 00:26:21,999
[chuckles]
597
00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:24,376
Thanks, Sammy.
598
00:26:24,459 --> 00:26:25,711
[gentle music playing]
599
00:26:25,794 --> 00:26:27,671
It's been so long, Mom.
600
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:30,757
It has.
601
00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:39,308
I have a lot to, uh... [clears throat]
...apologize to you for.
602
00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:44,563
For starters, I was often very rude
603
00:26:44,646 --> 00:26:50,027
about you participating
in this kind of entertainment.
604
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:51,695
I'm sorry for that.
605
00:26:53,447 --> 00:26:54,615
[sighs]
606
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:57,951
Fuck, sorry.
607
00:26:58,035 --> 00:27:00,037
Could we try that one more time, hon?
608
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,164
The label wasn't cheated
towards the camera.
609
00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:04,458
And that was such a great
fucking emotional moment.
610
00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:06,543
I'm so fucking touched. Genuinely.
611
00:27:06,627 --> 00:27:10,214
I just have to be sure it's usable
because my content partners need it.
612
00:27:10,297 --> 00:27:13,342
Sometimes you gotta tickle their balls
so Mommy can get her beak wet. [chuckles]
613
00:27:14,259 --> 00:27:18,764
My son may be a star,
but I'm a whole damn planet.
614
00:27:22,309 --> 00:27:25,229
This is so triggering and fucked up
for so many reasons,
615
00:27:25,312 --> 00:27:26,939
I can't even begin to tell you.
616
00:27:27,022 --> 00:27:29,733
Didn't you come here to apologize to me?
617
00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:33,570
Yeah. And you'd only receive the apology
if we did it on the show,
618
00:27:33,654 --> 00:27:36,990
which makes my skin crawl
that you're even on in the first place.
619
00:27:37,074 --> 00:27:40,410
Okay, we'll get to that in one second,
you pretentious little fuck.
620
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,665
But for starters,
you showed up, didn't you?
621
00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,542
You're a little truffle-sniffing
fame piggy,
622
00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:48,919
- just like Mommy.
- I wanted to please you.
623
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:52,381
I became famous to please you.
624
00:27:52,464 --> 00:27:55,551
I supported your career,
day in and day out,
625
00:27:55,634 --> 00:27:57,261
for nine years of my life.
626
00:27:57,344 --> 00:28:00,848
I wanted a parent,
not a business collaborator.
627
00:28:00,931 --> 00:28:04,476
When you were a little kid,
you begged me every day to be on TV.
628
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:05,561
Begged me.
629
00:28:05,644 --> 00:28:08,856
I'm talking tantrums, days-long tantrums.
630
00:28:08,939 --> 00:28:13,110
Fits, making scenes, screaming,
carrying on.
631
00:28:13,193 --> 00:28:14,736
I didn't know what to do.
632
00:28:14,820 --> 00:28:17,281
I was 25 and you were 6.
633
00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:22,661
So I moved us across the country,
away from your father, my husband,
634
00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:25,956
away from my parents, my support system,
635
00:28:26,456 --> 00:28:29,710
into a shitty little month-to-month
in the Valley
636
00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:32,838
so I could take you
to auditions every day.
637
00:28:33,422 --> 00:28:34,840
You were my focus.
638
00:28:36,008 --> 00:28:37,509
Your father left us.
639
00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:39,803
Not just you, he left me too.
640
00:28:39,887 --> 00:28:42,264
I sacrificed my marriage. [sniffs]
641
00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:48,270
Who were you sacrificing anything for
when you were 25, Reef?
642
00:28:49,313 --> 00:28:51,481
But then something amazing happened.
643
00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:54,735
Your fucking dreams came true.
644
00:28:55,319 --> 00:28:58,447
And I went from being a little nobody
in the middle of nowhere
645
00:28:58,947 --> 00:29:03,327
to, suddenly, my son singing and dancing
on The Tonight Show.
646
00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,163
You became a big, famous actor.
647
00:29:07,122 --> 00:29:09,166
You got everything you ever wanted.
648
00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:11,793
Mom.
649
00:29:13,587 --> 00:29:14,755
I was a kid.
650
00:29:16,924 --> 00:29:19,134
Kids don't know what they want.
651
00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:22,679
Kids want to be astronauts.
652
00:29:22,763 --> 00:29:26,058
Yeah, and some of them
actually do become astronauts,
653
00:29:26,141 --> 00:29:28,894
the ones whose dreams are supported
by their mothers.
654
00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:32,147
Mom, I felt used and exploited.
655
00:29:33,148 --> 00:29:36,735
You stopped seeing me
when I got on this show.
656
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,322
You stopped talking to me.
657
00:29:41,114 --> 00:29:42,407
Your fucking mother.
658
00:29:47,329 --> 00:29:49,122
[sighs]
659
00:29:52,417 --> 00:29:53,418
You're right.
660
00:29:57,965 --> 00:29:58,966
I'm sorry.
661
00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:02,553
That's not okay.
662
00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:10,644
[gulps] Can we take that
from after "You're right,"
663
00:30:10,727 --> 00:30:12,896
- but before "Sorry, that's not okay"?
- [groans]
664
00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:15,023
I want to get a different reaction
on my side.
665
00:30:15,107 --> 00:30:17,860
Jesus fucking Christ!
666
00:30:18,527 --> 00:30:20,445
- You see?
- What?
667
00:30:20,529 --> 00:30:23,740
You even take a moment like that
and make it for the show.
668
00:30:23,824 --> 00:30:26,159
You make it for show.
669
00:30:26,702 --> 00:30:29,288
I was actually feeling in that moment.
670
00:30:29,371 --> 00:30:31,582
I didn't say anything about your take.
671
00:30:32,082 --> 00:30:35,544
I bought it.
Your delivery was very strong.
672
00:30:35,627 --> 00:30:39,715
I just wanted one where I cry
and one where I don't on my side,
673
00:30:39,798 --> 00:30:42,301
- so the editor will have options.
- [groans]
674
00:30:42,384 --> 00:30:44,845
What even is an apology, Reef?
675
00:30:44,928 --> 00:30:46,889
Is it for you? Is it for me?
676
00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:50,976
Isn't an apology just a show also?
677
00:30:51,768 --> 00:30:53,437
This was such a fucked idea.
678
00:30:55,147 --> 00:30:56,648
You are such a scorched unit.
679
00:30:56,732 --> 00:30:59,193
Not everything is one thing, Reef.
680
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:01,820
Yes, I want to be great on the show,
681
00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:04,489
but I mean everything
that was in this conversation.
682
00:31:04,990 --> 00:31:08,327
Just because the cameras are rolling
doesn't mean it's not real.
683
00:31:08,410 --> 00:31:12,289
Just because it's performative
doesn't mean that it's not the truth.
684
00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:13,790
Why can't it be both?
685
00:31:14,374 --> 00:31:18,670
[sighs] You and I see things
so fucking differently, Reef.
686
00:31:19,588 --> 00:31:21,173
I've accepted that.
687
00:31:21,256 --> 00:31:23,342
I hope you can too one day.
688
00:31:24,676 --> 00:31:26,261
I'm not trying to change you.
689
00:31:27,804 --> 00:31:29,431
So don't try and change me.
690
00:31:36,730 --> 00:31:40,150
- Kyle, your abstinence dog is out here.
- [yapping, growls]
691
00:31:40,234 --> 00:31:42,903
Do you want me to let him in
or do you a favor and put it down
692
00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:44,279
so someone will date you?
693
00:31:44,363 --> 00:31:48,158
Just put it under the window
over there, guys. Thanks.
694
00:31:48,242 --> 00:31:50,494
[Xander] I should not be
lifting this couch right now.
695
00:31:50,577 --> 00:31:52,329
I have been so nauseous today.
696
00:31:52,412 --> 00:31:54,915
- [Kyle] Aw, babe. Maybe you're pregnant.
- [Xander breathes heavily]
697
00:31:54,998 --> 00:31:57,668
[Kyle] Has that unhoused gentleman
outside of General Nutrition
698
00:31:57,751 --> 00:31:59,711
that you've been
romantically intertwined with
699
00:31:59,795 --> 00:32:01,421
not been using contraception?
700
00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:04,716
- [Xander sighs] Babe.
- Yeah?
701
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:06,677
I'm as at risk of getting pregnant
702
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,136
- as you are.
- Mmm.
703
00:32:08,220 --> 00:32:09,596
- [Xander] Because you're old.
- Yeah.
704
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,181
- That's the meaning of that bit.
- Mm-hmm.
705
00:32:11,265 --> 00:32:12,850
Just making sure
you understood the math of it.
706
00:32:12,933 --> 00:32:14,893
Oh, yeah, no. I... I got it. Thanks.
707
00:32:14,977 --> 00:32:18,188
And Reef, I know you can't handle
any of the Housewives stuff...
708
00:32:18,272 --> 00:32:19,523
- Yeah.
- ...but, like, your mom
709
00:32:19,606 --> 00:32:21,441
is so fucking major and iconic.
710
00:32:21,525 --> 00:32:23,068
Like, what was she wearing?
711
00:32:23,151 --> 00:32:24,152
I need details.
712
00:32:24,236 --> 00:32:26,196
Babe, lay off the mom stuff, okay?
713
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,282
Even though we're all dying to know
what she was wearing.
714
00:32:28,365 --> 00:32:29,741
[Reef] No, it's okay.
715
00:32:29,825 --> 00:32:30,993
But it's not her.
716
00:32:32,452 --> 00:32:33,453
It's not her.
717
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:36,206
[sighs]
718
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,041
Okay.
719
00:32:42,004 --> 00:32:44,047
- [photographers] Reef, Reef, Reef!
- [tires screech]
720
00:32:44,131 --> 00:32:45,674
- [clamoring]
- [cameras clicking]
721
00:32:45,757 --> 00:32:46,758
[tires squeal]
722
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,014
[phone ringing]
723
00:32:53,515 --> 00:32:55,392
[sighs, grunts]
724
00:32:55,475 --> 00:32:57,769
- Hello.
- [Ira] Be in my office, one hour.
725
00:32:57,853 --> 00:32:59,980
I got the fucking dream team
assembled for you, Bubbi.
726
00:33:00,063 --> 00:33:01,398
One hour. Be here.
727
00:33:01,481 --> 00:33:02,733
[line beeps]
728
00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:09,573
Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today
because I have assembled
729
00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:12,242
the greatest group ever
to protect our boy, Reef Hawk,
730
00:33:12,326 --> 00:33:15,537
and bathe him in the waters
of our combined genius.
731
00:33:16,496 --> 00:33:17,497
Nothing?
732
00:33:17,998 --> 00:33:18,999
Prince?
733
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,001
Whatever.
734
00:33:21,084 --> 00:33:24,796
Reef, I would now like to introduce you
to your new crisis team.
735
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,800
Or as I call them,
the R-R-R-R-R-R-Reef Unit.
736
00:33:30,177 --> 00:33:31,428
Didn't land.
737
00:33:31,512 --> 00:33:32,596
Okay. Tough room.
738
00:33:33,180 --> 00:33:35,682
I'll start with one of the greatest
to ever do it.
739
00:33:35,766 --> 00:33:39,436
[shouting] One of the world's
most renowned lawyers,
740
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:44,316
the most legendary advocate
for women whose rights have been violated!
741
00:33:44,399 --> 00:33:47,736
Her legal reach is wide and long,
742
00:33:47,819 --> 00:33:50,405
and, my man,
you know she doesn't mind that!
743
00:33:50,906 --> 00:33:51,907
Ira.
744
00:33:51,990 --> 00:33:57,412
Ladies and gentlemen,
Virginia Allen-Green!
745
00:33:58,372 --> 00:33:59,831
Reef, it's nice to meet you.
746
00:33:59,915 --> 00:34:04,461
Don't you represent women
who are victims of terrible men?
747
00:34:04,545 --> 00:34:05,629
Not if I hire her first.
748
00:34:05,712 --> 00:34:07,381
I'm not... I didn't, like...
749
00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:09,257
- Oh, I know. I know.
- Oh, we know.
750
00:34:09,341 --> 00:34:11,217
- Bubbi, we know.
- I wouldn't have accepted this
751
00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:14,847
if I thought this was
a MeToo type of thing.
752
00:34:15,889 --> 00:34:17,558
- But if it is--
- It's not.
753
00:34:17,641 --> 00:34:18,809
- We know.
- [Virginia] No, no.
754
00:34:18,891 --> 00:34:20,310
- I know. She knows.
- I know, I know.
755
00:34:20,393 --> 00:34:21,353
- We know, we know.
- Yeah.
756
00:34:21,436 --> 00:34:23,021
[all] We know. We know.
757
00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:24,438
I, of course, know.
758
00:34:24,523 --> 00:34:27,734
But if it is, you're gonna want
Virginia here, Bubbi.
759
00:34:27,818 --> 00:34:30,112
Speaking of,
I would now like to introduce you
760
00:34:30,195 --> 00:34:33,489
to the third in our Three Tenors
of naughtiness.
761
00:34:34,449 --> 00:34:39,288
Ladies and gentlemen,
the sultan of social justice,
762
00:34:39,371 --> 00:34:42,416
the rabbi of race relations!
763
00:34:44,918 --> 00:34:47,129
♪ He's bringing sexy back ♪
764
00:34:47,629 --> 00:34:49,089
...to the Civil Rights Movement.
765
00:34:49,172 --> 00:34:50,174
Ira.
766
00:34:50,257 --> 00:34:54,678
He's been preaching since age three,
and, boy, is his soul tired!
767
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:59,016
The Reverend Leondrus Carter!
768
00:34:59,641 --> 00:35:00,642
Shut the fuck up, Ira.
769
00:35:00,726 --> 00:35:02,603
Oh, he's still sore about last time
we worked together.
770
00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:04,605
Yeah, because you completely ruined
the entire thing
771
00:35:04,688 --> 00:35:06,523
and embarrassed the shit out of me
and my client.
772
00:35:06,607 --> 00:35:08,817
Here we go again. Did you follow
the Jussie Smollett thing?
773
00:35:08,901 --> 00:35:12,070
Uh, the two racist guys
who beat up the Black actor,
774
00:35:12,154 --> 00:35:13,989
and it ended up being set up by him?
775
00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:16,909
Leon and I came up with that
at lunch one day. It's a killer idea.
776
00:35:16,992 --> 00:35:19,703
We pitched it around town and Jussie was
the most passionate about the project.
777
00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:21,330
Sometimes these things are
reverse engineered
778
00:35:21,413 --> 00:35:23,040
where the idea comes before the talent.
779
00:35:23,123 --> 00:35:25,000
You know, like when a movie studio has
a franchise,
780
00:35:25,083 --> 00:35:27,628
- but they don't have a star attached?
- Then tell him what happened, Ira.
781
00:35:27,711 --> 00:35:30,088
You're such a fucking hypocrite, Leon.
You're one of my best friends,
782
00:35:30,172 --> 00:35:32,341
I love you more than life itself,
but you're a hypocrite.
783
00:35:32,424 --> 00:35:34,885
You're always on me
about hiring more Black people,
784
00:35:34,968 --> 00:35:37,137
so I hired two Black guys
to beat up Jussie.
785
00:35:37,221 --> 00:35:41,433
This is me growing with elegance,
and all of a sudden I'm the asshole!
786
00:35:41,517 --> 00:35:43,519
You hired two Black guys
to play white supremacists
787
00:35:43,602 --> 00:35:45,437
to commit a hate crime
against a Black guy!
788
00:35:45,521 --> 00:35:46,522
You stupid motherfucker.
789
00:35:46,605 --> 00:35:47,689
It's impossible to keep up.
790
00:35:47,773 --> 00:35:50,150
Hire Black guys, don't hire Black guys.
Make up your mind!
791
00:35:50,234 --> 00:35:52,236
I shouldn't have to explain this one.
792
00:35:52,319 --> 00:35:55,531
You're acting like I didn't even post
a black square a couple years ago.
793
00:35:55,614 --> 00:35:57,241
You saw that. I storied it.
794
00:35:57,324 --> 00:36:00,327
It wasn't on my permanent grid,
but I storied the black square.
795
00:36:01,203 --> 00:36:05,499
I obviously know who you are,
and I'm a fan, Reverend.
796
00:36:05,582 --> 00:36:07,334
But why is he on our team?
797
00:36:08,293 --> 00:36:12,005
Oh, I pray to God you didn't say
the word on that video.
798
00:36:12,089 --> 00:36:13,131
What?
799
00:36:13,215 --> 00:36:14,758
No! I would never.
800
00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,260
- Oh, I know.
- We know.
801
00:36:16,343 --> 00:36:17,261
- We know.
- Yeah, it's okay.
802
00:36:17,344 --> 00:36:18,846
- We know, I know, he knows.
- [Leondrus] Yeah.
803
00:36:18,929 --> 00:36:20,347
- We know.
- [Virginia] Of course we know.
804
00:36:20,430 --> 00:36:23,225
- We know, brother.
- But if you did...
805
00:36:23,308 --> 00:36:25,561
I will smack the living shit out of you.
806
00:36:26,812 --> 00:36:28,021
And then,
807
00:36:28,939 --> 00:36:32,025
we're gonna hold hands and walk
through the fire together, my brother.
808
00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:34,361
I'm not a racist.
809
00:36:34,444 --> 00:36:38,615
Reef, while we totally believe
you aren't racist,
810
00:36:38,699 --> 00:36:41,785
we do know for a fact
you have done racist things.
811
00:36:41,869 --> 00:36:43,078
Which is very common,
812
00:36:43,161 --> 00:36:46,874
except, in your position,
is incredibly dangerous.
813
00:36:46,957 --> 00:36:47,958
I'm Unis Kim.
814
00:36:48,041 --> 00:36:49,376
I'm a lawyer and activist.
815
00:36:49,459 --> 00:36:53,755
I'm here because I famously started
the hashtag "Stop Imitating Asian People."
816
00:36:53,839 --> 00:36:54,882
I did, by the way.
817
00:36:54,965 --> 00:36:57,092
- We noticed. Thank you for doing that.
- Thank you. No, thank you.
818
00:36:57,176 --> 00:36:59,595
Reef, do you recall a scene from a...
819
00:37:00,429 --> 00:37:02,097
Jesus, I'd hate to call it a film...
820
00:37:02,181 --> 00:37:04,600
a-a thing you were in called
821
00:37:04,683 --> 00:37:08,770
Titty School Six:
Let's Get Tit-tarted In Here?
822
00:37:08,854 --> 00:37:10,564
- An '80s, low-budget teen comedy...
- [sighs]
823
00:37:10,647 --> 00:37:12,566
...Ira buried when you got famous?
824
00:37:12,649 --> 00:37:14,359
We think someone may have found it.
825
00:37:14,443 --> 00:37:16,528
Do you recall a scene from this film
826
00:37:16,612 --> 00:37:19,489
in which your character,
Israel Boner Shartstein...
827
00:37:19,573 --> 00:37:20,824
- [snickers]
- ...is tasked with breaking into
828
00:37:20,908 --> 00:37:23,118
the girls' sorority
to steal their bras and panties?
829
00:37:23,202 --> 00:37:25,162
- [snickers]
- And in order to pull off this caper,
830
00:37:25,245 --> 00:37:26,747
you, as your character,
831
00:37:26,830 --> 00:37:29,708
dress up as a geisha
to sneak into the sorority?
832
00:37:29,791 --> 00:37:32,961
We think someone may be
framing the scene in a modern context
833
00:37:33,045 --> 00:37:36,882
to use it to cancel you
for being racist against Asian people.
834
00:37:36,965 --> 00:37:38,926
It was a scene in a stupid movie.
835
00:37:39,009 --> 00:37:41,386
It wasn't me, it was
a character in a movie.
836
00:37:41,470 --> 00:37:43,013
Doesn't matter. Hey, wait.
837
00:37:43,096 --> 00:37:44,723
Where's Moshe from
the Anti-Semitism Committee?
838
00:37:44,806 --> 00:37:45,849
We ran the numbers.
839
00:37:45,933 --> 00:37:49,770
It turns out that hating Jews doesn't
negatively affect a person's career.
840
00:37:49,853 --> 00:37:51,271
In fact, it could even help.
841
00:37:52,272 --> 00:37:54,024
- [oven door slams]
- Like, that sounds like
842
00:37:54,107 --> 00:37:55,817
- a freak-o acid trip.
- [Xander] So, what,
843
00:37:55,901 --> 00:37:57,903
you go through every
hypothetical, fucked-up thing
844
00:37:57,986 --> 00:37:59,613
you may have ever
done in your entire life?
845
00:37:59,696 --> 00:38:00,697
- Yeah.
- If we broke down
846
00:38:00,781 --> 00:38:03,492
my texts to my dry cleaner on Tuesday,
I'd never work again.
847
00:38:03,575 --> 00:38:07,788
I mean, it felt like fire against my skin
the whole entire time.
848
00:38:07,871 --> 00:38:10,165
I hate that you're being put through this.
849
00:38:10,249 --> 00:38:11,667
I... I just hate it when you're sad.
850
00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:14,378
You know, I was thinking
about when you got clean,
851
00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:18,340
how you never did AA
or any other program like that
852
00:38:18,423 --> 00:38:20,175
'cause you were just, like, so worried
853
00:38:20,259 --> 00:38:22,928
that people were gonna recognize you
and out that you had a problem,
854
00:38:23,011 --> 00:38:26,974
and how that would, you know,
affect your image of course.
855
00:38:27,057 --> 00:38:30,352
But a big part of all of that is
doing the steps, right?
856
00:38:30,435 --> 00:38:32,145
Apologizing to the people you hurt.
857
00:38:32,729 --> 00:38:37,025
Maybe this whole thing is, like,
the universe's way of making sure
858
00:38:37,109 --> 00:38:40,863
that you apologize to the people that were
hurt by your addiction, you know?
859
00:38:43,532 --> 00:38:47,244
I'm sure there's a lot of people
that would appreciate an apology from you.
860
00:38:50,038 --> 00:38:51,039
Right, Xander?
861
00:38:52,833 --> 00:38:53,834
Yeah.
862
00:38:55,377 --> 00:38:56,378
Sure.
863
00:38:56,461 --> 00:38:57,838
[sighs]
864
00:39:02,885 --> 00:39:03,886
You're right.
865
00:39:05,846 --> 00:39:07,181
[sighs]
866
00:39:07,681 --> 00:39:09,141
Fuck, this is hard.
867
00:39:09,224 --> 00:39:12,102
[breathes deeply]
868
00:39:13,270 --> 00:39:15,355
[sniffs] I need to apologize...
869
00:39:20,777 --> 00:39:21,904
to Savannah.
870
00:39:26,241 --> 00:39:27,409
[sighs]
871
00:39:27,492 --> 00:39:28,493
Yeah.
872
00:39:29,786 --> 00:39:32,831
I'm gonna try and get back
before dinner, but thank you.
873
00:39:32,915 --> 00:39:34,208
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
874
00:39:37,127 --> 00:39:38,128
[door closes]
875
00:39:38,212 --> 00:39:39,922
What the actual fuck?
876
00:39:40,005 --> 00:39:41,715
Dude, I don't even know what I said.
877
00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:43,008
- It was like...
- He's just...
878
00:39:43,091 --> 00:39:44,593
[scoffs] What?
879
00:39:44,676 --> 00:39:46,345
Why did I... [chuckles]
880
00:39:46,428 --> 00:39:48,180
- So stupid.
- Oh, babe. No, you're right about that.
881
00:39:48,263 --> 00:39:50,265
- No, it's stupid.
- Mmm. Come here.
882
00:39:50,807 --> 00:39:53,101
- I don't think you're stupid.
- [chuckles]
883
00:39:54,478 --> 00:39:55,604
[grunts]
884
00:40:23,298 --> 00:40:24,967
[sighs]
885
00:40:33,851 --> 00:40:35,352
[sighs]
886
00:40:52,661 --> 00:40:53,662
[chuckles]
887
00:40:56,915 --> 00:40:58,292
Reef.
888
00:40:59,042 --> 00:41:00,502
- [Reef chuckles]
- [laughs]
889
00:41:00,586 --> 00:41:03,088
- [Reef] Savannah.
- [laughs]
890
00:41:03,172 --> 00:41:04,214
Here we are.
891
00:41:04,715 --> 00:41:06,758
Dude, you are so annoying.
892
00:41:07,634 --> 00:41:10,220
I can hate you or-or wanna kill you
893
00:41:10,304 --> 00:41:13,182
or even forget about you,
but then you sit here in front of me
894
00:41:13,265 --> 00:41:15,475
and you are still the goofy kid
895
00:41:16,185 --> 00:41:18,812
lighting fireworks off
at the vents behind the mall...
896
00:41:18,896 --> 00:41:20,522
- [laughs]
- ...almost going deaf.
897
00:41:20,606 --> 00:41:23,859
[chuckles] Jesus.
I haven't thought about that in so long.
898
00:41:23,942 --> 00:41:26,153
- Such a little twerp.
- [chuckles]
899
00:41:26,236 --> 00:41:30,741
Always showing off for everybody,
center of attention. [sighs]
900
00:41:30,824 --> 00:41:32,993
But I always liked you
in moments like this.
901
00:41:35,621 --> 00:41:37,122
When it was just us talking.
902
00:41:38,874 --> 00:41:40,334
Nobody to show off for.
903
00:41:42,878 --> 00:41:43,879
[sighs]
904
00:41:47,674 --> 00:41:49,635
[Savannah] I pulled it off. Photo finish.
905
00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:52,221
Don't worry, they're not yours.
906
00:41:52,304 --> 00:41:53,680
That's not funny.
907
00:41:54,556 --> 00:41:56,183
[laughs] Okay, Reef.
908
00:41:56,266 --> 00:41:59,102
Do they have your sense of humor?
909
00:41:59,811 --> 00:42:00,979
They're smarter than me.
910
00:42:02,272 --> 00:42:04,066
Let's hope they make better choices.
911
00:42:04,149 --> 00:42:07,569
["Baby Bitch" playing]
912
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,619
I'm really sorry I let you down.
913
00:42:23,460 --> 00:42:27,089
[sighs] Uh, how do I put this
the right way?
914
00:42:27,172 --> 00:42:31,927
I want to use the correct
verbiage here and not mince words.
915
00:42:36,723 --> 00:42:38,267
You're not a good person.
916
00:42:45,607 --> 00:42:47,651
I wasted years of my life on you.
917
00:42:48,527 --> 00:42:49,570
With you.
918
00:42:50,779 --> 00:42:53,699
And about you because
it's always about you, Reef.
919
00:42:57,494 --> 00:43:03,083
Let me guess. Xander and Kyle haven't been
this honest with you
920
00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:06,170
about your behavior
in these conversations.
921
00:43:06,253 --> 00:43:08,839
They never had a problem lying to you.
922
00:43:08,922 --> 00:43:10,340
Or for you.
923
00:43:11,466 --> 00:43:16,138
Yeah, you don't stick around long
with this kind of realness. Do you, Reef?
924
00:43:20,475 --> 00:43:22,227
[inhales sharply] But I'm not
around anymore.
925
00:43:24,396 --> 00:43:25,439
Thank God.
926
00:43:28,567 --> 00:43:30,152
Because after the last thing...
927
00:43:35,115 --> 00:43:36,742
The last thing that happened.
928
00:43:39,077 --> 00:43:40,495
Yeah.
929
00:43:40,579 --> 00:43:44,833
It took finally allowing a good
and devoted man to love me
930
00:43:44,917 --> 00:43:49,963
to realize that... [sighs] ...I'm not just
a distraction to run to
931
00:43:50,047 --> 00:43:52,382
and toy with when you're...
932
00:43:54,676 --> 00:43:57,888
[inhales deeply]
...when you're depressed or...
933
00:43:59,765 --> 00:44:01,850
lonely or between movies or...
934
00:44:03,602 --> 00:44:06,688
[inhales sharply]
...literally bored. [sighs]
935
00:44:06,772 --> 00:44:09,733
Only to discard when
something amazing would happen.
936
00:44:11,568 --> 00:44:12,569
No, you're not.
937
00:44:13,111 --> 00:44:14,321
Correct.
938
00:44:23,121 --> 00:44:24,122
[sighs]
939
00:44:25,999 --> 00:44:29,294
I used to think that telling
you all this would make me happy.
940
00:44:33,257 --> 00:44:34,258
It doesn't.
941
00:44:37,261 --> 00:44:39,054
My family makes me happy.
942
00:44:40,931 --> 00:44:43,058
My ch... My children make me happy.
943
00:44:52,943 --> 00:44:53,944
[sighs]
944
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,036
[phone ringing]
945
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,162
Ira?
946
00:45:04,246 --> 00:45:06,039
Bubbi, I need you to come
straight back to my office.
947
00:45:06,123 --> 00:45:08,625
I got us a call with the guy.
He's ready to negotiate.
948
00:45:08,709 --> 00:45:10,794
Same seats. Shit. I gotta run.
949
00:45:10,878 --> 00:45:13,755
Adam Driver bought a pet chimp and it
ripped some lady's face off at the mall.
950
00:45:13,839 --> 00:45:15,591
They're cute when you buy 'em,
but then it's like--
951
00:45:15,674 --> 00:45:17,259
- [tone beeps]
- Wait. Ira!
952
00:45:30,147 --> 00:45:31,857
[Ira's assistant] Ira,
we have him on the line.
953
00:45:31,940 --> 00:45:33,984
All right. This is it. At your stations.
Okay?
954
00:45:34,067 --> 00:45:35,903
- Put him through.
- [sighs]
955
00:45:35,986 --> 00:45:37,863
[caller] Hey, Ira. Yo. How's things?
956
00:45:37,946 --> 00:45:41,283
All good over here. Just in
the office solo doing a million things.
957
00:45:41,366 --> 00:45:42,367
[caller] Oh, yeah.
958
00:45:42,451 --> 00:45:45,329
By the sound of that speakerphone and
the cavernous echo in the conference room,
959
00:45:45,412 --> 00:45:46,830
I can tell it's just you in there.
960
00:45:46,914 --> 00:45:48,582
[Ira] Fuck you. What do you got?
961
00:45:48,665 --> 00:45:52,002
[caller] I'm assuming Virginia, Leondrus
and the crew are all in there with you?
962
00:45:52,085 --> 00:45:54,213
- Hello, all.
- Nope. Wrong again.
963
00:45:54,713 --> 00:45:56,006
[caller] Okay, Ira.
964
00:45:56,089 --> 00:45:59,009
Hey. By the way, I wanna say,
Reef, if you're there too,
965
00:45:59,092 --> 00:46:01,512
which I'm pretty positive that you are...
966
00:46:02,179 --> 00:46:04,097
I should legally disclose
that I'm your neighbor
967
00:46:04,181 --> 00:46:06,934
who's been renting a house next to
you for the past few months.
968
00:46:07,476 --> 00:46:09,019
What the fuck?
969
00:46:10,187 --> 00:46:11,230
[sighs]
970
00:46:11,313 --> 00:46:14,483
"Legally disclose."
Since when are you a stickler for the law?
971
00:46:14,566 --> 00:46:17,277
[Buddy] All right. Well, you know, not
legally, but, like, homey to homey.
972
00:46:17,778 --> 00:46:20,364
I thought I should tell you that.
It felt fucked up not to.
973
00:46:20,447 --> 00:46:22,157
All right. So what do we got here?
974
00:46:22,783 --> 00:46:26,745
[Buddy] Okay. As you know, I can't reveal
much, but I have procured a video
975
00:46:26,828 --> 00:46:29,790
from a person who wishes to sell it to
the highest-bidding media outlet.
976
00:46:30,374 --> 00:46:32,918
I would like to offer Reef
the opportunity to buy it first.
977
00:46:33,877 --> 00:46:35,838
[Ira] How fucking generous of you.
978
00:46:36,380 --> 00:46:38,674
[Buddy] All I can tell
you about the video is this.
979
00:46:48,100 --> 00:46:49,476
He comes.
980
00:46:53,272 --> 00:46:54,606
[groans]
981
00:46:54,690 --> 00:46:58,068
[Buddy] The price is 15 million.
The deadline is Tuesday at 10:00 a.m.
982
00:46:58,151 --> 00:47:00,195
- [sighs]
- [Buddy] Peace.
983
00:47:00,279 --> 00:47:01,363
[tone beeps]
984
00:47:01,446 --> 00:47:02,656
[sighs]
985
00:47:04,157 --> 00:47:05,158
Come.
986
00:47:05,909 --> 00:47:06,910
[Reef groans]
987
00:47:08,579 --> 00:47:11,039
- "Comes."
- [Reef groans]
988
00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:13,750
"Comes."
989
00:47:13,834 --> 00:47:16,170
- Oh, God.
- [Ira] "Comes."
990
00:47:17,254 --> 00:47:18,255
"Comes."
991
00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:23,135
Come.
992
00:47:23,677 --> 00:47:26,388
This is the actual
worst moment of my life.
993
00:47:27,764 --> 00:47:28,765
"He comes."
994
00:47:31,977 --> 00:47:32,978
I accept that.
995
00:47:33,770 --> 00:47:34,938
I do. I accept it.
996
00:47:36,190 --> 00:47:37,608
[inhales deeply]
997
00:47:39,234 --> 00:47:40,903
But who says coming is bad? Right?
998
00:47:40,986 --> 00:47:42,362
- Yeah, it's a good thing.
- Yeah.
999
00:47:42,446 --> 00:47:44,031
- Nothing bad about it at all.
- I'm sex positive.
1000
00:47:44,114 --> 00:47:46,158
- Come makes babies.
- [Leondrus] Yeah, yeah.
1001
00:47:46,241 --> 00:47:47,701
Babies grow up to be doctors.
1002
00:47:48,202 --> 00:47:49,536
Doctors heal us when we're ailing.
1003
00:47:49,620 --> 00:47:51,079
[Leondrus] Technically he's right.
1004
00:47:51,163 --> 00:47:52,623
You know who's made out of come?
1005
00:47:53,207 --> 00:47:54,917
- She is.
- I'm not made out of come.
1006
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:55,918
Absolutely are.
1007
00:47:56,001 --> 00:47:57,419
Even Reef Hawk.
1008
00:47:57,503 --> 00:47:58,670
Dramatic pause.
1009
00:47:59,254 --> 00:48:00,255
Matinee idol.
1010
00:48:00,797 --> 00:48:03,217
Handprints in
the Grauman's Chinese sidewalk.
1011
00:48:04,510 --> 00:48:06,428
100% completely come-based.
1012
00:48:06,512 --> 00:48:10,265
I believe in
the profundity of this argument.
1013
00:48:12,226 --> 00:48:13,644
This young lady here. Come.
1014
00:48:15,646 --> 00:48:17,356
That felt wrong even as I was saying it.
1015
00:48:17,439 --> 00:48:20,859
But I urge you to hear me when I say this.
1016
00:48:20,943 --> 00:48:25,531
None of us in this room
would be here without come.
1017
00:48:26,823 --> 00:48:28,116
Am I wrong?
1018
00:48:30,035 --> 00:48:31,078
Applause.
1019
00:48:31,954 --> 00:48:32,955
If you want.
1020
00:48:33,497 --> 00:48:35,040
If you want. If you want.
1021
00:48:35,123 --> 00:48:36,917
- [applauding]
- [sighs]
1022
00:48:39,336 --> 00:48:40,963
- No!
- Whoa, whoa. Bubbi.
1023
00:48:41,046 --> 00:48:43,507
You don't understand, Ira.
You don't understand.
1024
00:48:43,590 --> 00:48:45,759
I've been so fucking careful!
1025
00:48:45,843 --> 00:48:47,010
Hey. You're okay.
1026
00:48:47,094 --> 00:48:49,930
I've never filmed myself.
I've never been filmed with anyone.
1027
00:48:50,013 --> 00:48:51,807
I've been so fucking careful!
1028
00:48:52,432 --> 00:48:54,017
Why is this happening to me?
1029
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:55,853
[breathing heavily, slaps thighs]
1030
00:48:55,936 --> 00:48:59,481
[Reef breathing heavily]
1031
00:49:02,192 --> 00:49:03,318
What did you just say?
1032
00:49:05,404 --> 00:49:08,323
[breathes heavily] Why is this
happening to me?
1033
00:49:08,824 --> 00:49:10,117
No, before that.
1034
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,494
[breathes heavily] Uh...
1035
00:49:13,453 --> 00:49:15,205
"I've been so fucking careful."
1036
00:49:15,289 --> 00:49:16,331
Before that.
1037
00:49:17,624 --> 00:49:22,337
"I've never filmed myself."
And, "I've never been filmed with anyone."
1038
00:49:28,886 --> 00:49:29,887
What?
1039
00:49:33,348 --> 00:49:34,349
What is it?
1040
00:49:35,142 --> 00:49:37,019
You were filmed without your consent.
1041
00:49:40,522 --> 00:49:42,816
It was nonconsensual.
1042
00:49:43,609 --> 00:49:45,694
- Virginia, do you wanna explain this?
- [Virginia] I'd love to.
1043
00:49:45,777 --> 00:49:49,907
Reef, have you ever heard
of victim capitalism?
1044
00:49:50,949 --> 00:49:51,950
No.
1045
00:49:52,034 --> 00:49:54,328
When you were growing up,
you wanted to be an actor.
1046
00:49:54,411 --> 00:49:58,874
You wanted to be a gifted artist and that
in turn would bring you riches and fame.
1047
00:49:58,957 --> 00:50:02,169
You were part of the recognition
for talent generation.
1048
00:50:02,252 --> 00:50:05,672
But people got tired of having to work
hard and actually be good at something.
1049
00:50:05,756 --> 00:50:08,091
Why do all that work? It's exhausting.
1050
00:50:08,175 --> 00:50:10,344
And the odds are so
terribly low of succeeding.
1051
00:50:10,427 --> 00:50:12,888
So, here come the Kardashians.
1052
00:50:12,971 --> 00:50:14,973
The big bang happened.
1053
00:50:15,057 --> 00:50:17,476
Attention culture.
1054
00:50:17,559 --> 00:50:20,521
And it is huge.
1055
00:50:20,604 --> 00:50:22,564
Now you don't have to do
anything special to be famous.
1056
00:50:22,648 --> 00:50:23,815
You just have to be.
1057
00:50:23,899 --> 00:50:27,361
You just have to make enough
noise to garner the attention.
1058
00:50:27,444 --> 00:50:29,821
Any kind of noise. Any kind of attention.
1059
00:50:29,905 --> 00:50:33,075
And this brings us to
the birth of social media.
1060
00:50:33,158 --> 00:50:36,119
Now anyone with a phone can
have it at the push of a button.
1061
00:50:36,203 --> 00:50:39,164
That sweet, sweet nectar of attention.
1062
00:50:39,748 --> 00:50:42,209
And then, it was ignited.
1063
00:50:43,126 --> 00:50:44,253
The spark.
1064
00:50:45,337 --> 00:50:46,588
Victimhood.
1065
00:50:46,672 --> 00:50:52,928
The only way you can become rich and
famous in this culture is to be a victim.
1066
00:50:53,011 --> 00:50:54,304
Victim capitalism.
1067
00:50:54,388 --> 00:50:56,849
[Virginia] The best thing you can be in
our modern society is a victim.
1068
00:50:56,932 --> 00:51:02,646
And you, Reef Hawk, are a white,
middle-aged, rich, famous,
1069
00:51:02,729 --> 00:51:07,818
straight movie star
who is indeed a victim.
1070
00:51:07,901 --> 00:51:09,319
[Ira] You're a fucking unicorn.
1071
00:51:09,403 --> 00:51:11,446
This is gonna be
the biggest year of your whole career.
1072
00:51:11,530 --> 00:51:13,282
I mean,
you're gonna be a bigger star than ever.
1073
00:51:13,365 --> 00:51:14,783
You know what we have to do, right?
1074
00:51:14,867 --> 00:51:15,909
We've got one move.
1075
00:51:15,993 --> 00:51:17,870
Live interview.
1076
00:51:17,953 --> 00:51:20,581
[Ira] That's right. A live interview cuts
him off at the knees.
1077
00:51:20,664 --> 00:51:23,375
Talking about the video before
they have a chance to leak it
1078
00:51:23,876 --> 00:51:26,378
makes you the victim
and gives us all the leverage.
1079
00:51:27,254 --> 00:51:28,255
[grunts]
1080
00:51:28,338 --> 00:51:30,090
God, where are they?
1081
00:51:31,133 --> 00:51:33,010
[sighs] We're gonna be fucking late.
1082
00:51:34,094 --> 00:51:35,387
Everything okay?
1083
00:51:35,470 --> 00:51:36,471
[sighs] Yeah, yeah.
1084
00:51:37,306 --> 00:51:39,183
I'm just running a little late
and it's the one day a week
1085
00:51:39,266 --> 00:51:40,809
I gotta be out by a certain time.
1086
00:51:41,894 --> 00:51:43,228
[sighs]
1087
00:51:48,150 --> 00:51:49,651
Hey, I know that was a lot.
1088
00:51:51,111 --> 00:51:52,487
Sit with it tonight.
1089
00:51:53,697 --> 00:51:54,948
Digest it.
1090
00:51:58,702 --> 00:51:59,953
[scoffs]
1091
00:52:00,829 --> 00:52:01,830
Ira,
1092
00:52:03,624 --> 00:52:06,251
you have a really weird job.
1093
00:52:06,335 --> 00:52:07,503
[chuckles]
1094
00:52:08,420 --> 00:52:13,884
It's like you just wait for
a call that I got in trouble.
1095
00:52:19,598 --> 00:52:20,599
[chuckles]
1096
00:52:23,769 --> 00:52:25,020
Bubbi, you ever think about...
1097
00:52:27,147 --> 00:52:30,150
why you thought it was okay to get in
the kind of trouble
1098
00:52:30,817 --> 00:52:32,402
you got in for as long as you did?
1099
00:52:34,988 --> 00:52:37,074
Everybody's a psycho when they're young.
1100
00:52:37,157 --> 00:52:39,952
[chuckles] Myself, number one. [laughs]
1101
00:52:42,412 --> 00:52:44,665
But for everybody else in the world,
1102
00:52:44,748 --> 00:52:48,752
all these people,
they can't act like that forever.
1103
00:52:51,588 --> 00:52:54,883
I had real life hit me
like a fucking train.
1104
00:52:57,845 --> 00:53:00,222
But when my phone rings and it's you,
I pick up.
1105
00:53:01,557 --> 00:53:03,016
I always pick up.
1106
00:53:06,186 --> 00:53:07,646
[horn honks]
1107
00:53:07,729 --> 00:53:09,189
There he is!
1108
00:53:09,857 --> 00:53:14,069
- Hey, hey!
- Sorry, Ira. We hit crazy traffic.
1109
00:53:14,152 --> 00:53:15,904
- No worries. LA, baby.
- So bad.
1110
00:53:15,988 --> 00:53:17,531
The traffic. Come on. Are you crazy?
1111
00:53:17,614 --> 00:53:19,616
Buddy. There he is. My boy.
1112
00:53:19,700 --> 00:53:20,659
- Mwah!
- [groans] Dad!
1113
00:53:20,742 --> 00:53:23,078
- What? Are you too old to kiss your dad?
- Oh, come on.
1114
00:53:23,161 --> 00:53:25,205
When you were a baby,
I used to kiss your face.
1115
00:53:25,289 --> 00:53:26,290
- [sighs]
- Dad.
1116
00:53:26,373 --> 00:53:30,210
I still see you as this little...
fat, little, chunky little guy.
1117
00:53:30,294 --> 00:53:33,338
- Dad, I hate being late for the Dodgers.
- Yeah, I know. I hate being late.
1118
00:53:33,422 --> 00:53:34,423
- I'm sorry, buddy. I--
- Yeah.
1119
00:53:34,506 --> 00:53:36,425
But we got to listen to
Britney Spears's audiobook.
1120
00:53:36,508 --> 00:53:41,930
And let me just say
she lived a very wild life.
1121
00:53:42,014 --> 00:53:43,765
[Ira] She's the best.
She sang at your mom and I's wedding.
1122
00:53:43,849 --> 00:53:45,893
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, you know who this guy is?
1123
00:53:45,976 --> 00:53:47,978
- Reef Hawk.
- That's right.
1124
00:53:48,979 --> 00:53:50,564
OG client of your dad's.
1125
00:53:51,398 --> 00:53:55,277
Always wanted you guys to meet each
other, but, uh, Reef's always very busy.
1126
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:57,779
So, Reef, do you have a girlfriend?
1127
00:53:57,863 --> 00:54:00,824
This guy with the "girlfri--"
Always with the fucking girlfriend.
1128
00:54:00,908 --> 00:54:02,826
- Not right now.
- Well, same here.
1129
00:54:02,910 --> 00:54:04,328
We're on the same boat.
1130
00:54:04,411 --> 00:54:06,830
That's what I tell him.
He's gotta keep his options open.
1131
00:54:06,914 --> 00:54:10,334
Yeah. Dad said I gotta keep
my options open 'cause I'm a handsome guy.
1132
00:54:10,417 --> 00:54:12,211
- Cool and handsome guy.
- Mm-hmm.
1133
00:54:12,711 --> 00:54:13,921
Just like Reef.
1134
00:54:14,004 --> 00:54:15,923
Hey, you guys should be wingmen
for each other.
1135
00:54:16,006 --> 00:54:17,716
Just try and leave some pussy
for the rest of us.
1136
00:54:17,799 --> 00:54:20,010
- Shut up, Dad.
- [Ira laughs]
1137
00:54:20,093 --> 00:54:22,137
What do I always say?
Keep your options open.
1138
00:54:22,221 --> 00:54:24,223
- Yes.
- Never sign anything.
1139
00:54:24,306 --> 00:54:27,100
- [Eli] Check the Saudi money.
- Check the Saudi money.
1140
00:54:27,184 --> 00:54:28,727
- [Eli] Right.
- Okay. Hey.
1141
00:54:30,187 --> 00:54:31,188
I'll check in tomorrow.
1142
00:54:31,980 --> 00:54:33,232
Enjoy the game.
1143
00:54:33,732 --> 00:54:34,733
[car door opens]
1144
00:54:34,816 --> 00:54:36,777
- See you later, Reef.
- Nice to meet you, man.
1145
00:54:36,860 --> 00:54:39,363
Don't do alcohol
and say no to crack, Reef. [laughs]
1146
00:54:39,446 --> 00:54:40,656
[laughs]
1147
00:54:40,739 --> 00:54:42,491
[Ira] Hey. I told you not
to tell anybody about that.
1148
00:54:42,574 --> 00:54:44,034
You're not supposed to repeat that shit.
1149
00:54:44,117 --> 00:54:45,369
Get in the car, guys. Let's go.
1150
00:54:53,126 --> 00:54:54,253
[horn honks]
1151
00:55:09,810 --> 00:55:10,811
[sighs]
1152
00:55:13,355 --> 00:55:14,523
[sighs]
1153
00:55:15,941 --> 00:55:16,942
Reef Hawk.
1154
00:55:19,486 --> 00:55:20,487
Hey.
1155
00:55:20,571 --> 00:55:23,240
I think I read a couple of years ago
your dad hung himself, right?
1156
00:55:25,033 --> 00:55:27,286
It's so funny.
I'm reading the new Jennifer Egan
1157
00:55:27,369 --> 00:55:29,288
and the main character's a rock star
1158
00:55:29,371 --> 00:55:32,082
whose mom is on a reality show
and the dad hangs himself.
1159
00:55:33,250 --> 00:55:34,585
I mean, it's-it's a rock star.
1160
00:55:34,668 --> 00:55:37,504
It's not a movie star,
but it's crazy close, right?
1161
00:55:39,256 --> 00:55:40,340
[sighs]
1162
00:55:43,552 --> 00:55:45,262
Anyway, check it out
if you have a flight or something.
1163
00:55:45,888 --> 00:55:47,556
- You can breeze right through it.
- [sighs]
1164
00:55:57,232 --> 00:55:59,443
Can I just say what we're all thinking?
1165
00:56:00,194 --> 00:56:04,615
A live, tell-all interview
while pretending to be a victim
1166
00:56:04,698 --> 00:56:08,744
seems like the actual complete
opposite of what you should do.
1167
00:56:08,827 --> 00:56:10,370
What's the alternative?
1168
00:56:10,454 --> 00:56:13,415
Give everything up
I've worked for my entire life?
1169
00:56:13,957 --> 00:56:15,667
I have what everyone dreams of.
1170
00:56:15,751 --> 00:56:18,712
I can't just throw it away.
1171
00:56:23,717 --> 00:56:26,261
Let's just, like, sell everything
and move to Hawaii.
1172
00:56:26,345 --> 00:56:27,471
[chuckles]
1173
00:56:27,554 --> 00:56:29,598
Open a smoothie stand or something.
1174
00:56:29,681 --> 00:56:31,058
[chuckles] Yeah.
1175
00:56:31,141 --> 00:56:32,184
There we go.
1176
00:56:32,935 --> 00:56:34,645
I'll open a smoothie stand.
1177
00:56:35,395 --> 00:56:36,647
What a brilliant idea.
1178
00:56:36,730 --> 00:56:39,983
You just seem a little off lately, so...
1179
00:56:41,276 --> 00:56:42,778
Look, I just wanna make sure that you're--
1180
00:56:42,861 --> 00:56:43,987
Make sure I'm what?
1181
00:56:45,864 --> 00:56:49,618
Are you implying that there's something
important that I'm hiding from you?
1182
00:56:49,701 --> 00:56:51,411
Reef, dude. She's just asking you--
1183
00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:52,996
I know what she's asking.
1184
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:54,915
I don't know why it's such a big deal.
1185
00:56:54,998 --> 00:56:57,334
It's a big fucking deal.
1186
00:56:57,417 --> 00:56:58,794
Because questioning that
1187
00:56:58,877 --> 00:57:02,965
is questioning the very core
of everything I am the last five years.
1188
00:57:03,048 --> 00:57:08,053
Everything I've fought
and clawed and promised to not be.
1189
00:57:08,887 --> 00:57:12,891
So you questioning that isn't
just a chill little question.
1190
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,269
It's calling me a fraud.
1191
00:57:16,353 --> 00:57:18,605
So what the fuck are you asking?
1192
00:57:21,441 --> 00:57:24,945
Don't fucking curse at me ever.
1193
00:57:26,864 --> 00:57:31,118
Don't ever talk to me like that ever.
1194
00:57:32,286 --> 00:57:35,622
You are under immense
pressure and anxiety,
1195
00:57:35,706 --> 00:57:38,959
so I am asking you
as somebody who loves you,
1196
00:57:39,042 --> 00:57:41,503
are you strong in your sobriety?
1197
00:57:41,587 --> 00:57:45,424
Because you have that look in your eyes
you promised I wasn't going to see again.
1198
00:57:45,924 --> 00:57:48,927
[scoffs] How fucking dare you.
1199
00:57:49,011 --> 00:57:51,930
[scoffs] How dare I? How dare I?
1200
00:57:52,014 --> 00:57:55,559
I ask you because I am
someone who loves you
1201
00:57:55,642 --> 00:57:58,812
at times more than you are
capable of loving yourself.
1202
00:57:59,354 --> 00:58:03,192
I ask because I would rather
you throw some little bitchy,
1203
00:58:03,275 --> 00:58:06,904
diva, movie star tantrum and not be
my friend for a month
1204
00:58:06,987 --> 00:58:12,367
than to walk in on you overdosed again
thinking that you were fucking dead.
1205
00:58:13,410 --> 00:58:18,290
Which you don't even remember, but was,
like, the worst moment of my life.
1206
00:58:22,628 --> 00:58:27,674
Dude, you're a 56-year-old man
who might be back on hard drugs.
1207
00:58:27,758 --> 00:58:32,012
So when I ask you,
it's not because it's fun for me.
1208
00:58:35,098 --> 00:58:38,602
My sobriety is stronger
than fucking steel.
1209
00:58:43,899 --> 00:58:49,404
And as far as moving to Hawaii
and opening a smoothie stand,
1210
00:58:50,864 --> 00:58:53,659
that might be in the realm
of possibility for you.
1211
00:58:54,785 --> 00:58:56,119
But honestly, Kyle...
1212
00:58:56,203 --> 00:58:57,079
Yeah.
1213
00:58:57,162 --> 00:58:59,915
...I don't have the patience
or the fucking energy
1214
00:58:59,998 --> 00:59:04,169
to fake being able to relate to
your shitty little life today.
1215
00:59:05,087 --> 00:59:11,760
I live in an existence you literally
have no way of understanding.
1216
00:59:11,844 --> 00:59:13,345
Oh, fuck.
1217
00:59:13,428 --> 00:59:14,930
You're right.
1218
00:59:15,639 --> 00:59:16,807
I have no idea.
1219
00:59:18,058 --> 00:59:21,186
I hope that you do that giant interview
1220
00:59:21,270 --> 00:59:24,606
and I hope you get
more famous and more rich.
1221
00:59:24,690 --> 00:59:26,024
More attention.
1222
00:59:27,442 --> 00:59:31,446
As it seems to
historically serve you super well.
1223
00:59:32,239 --> 00:59:35,075
And you know what?
I love my life, my shitty little life.
1224
00:59:35,158 --> 00:59:35,993
You know why?
1225
00:59:36,076 --> 00:59:39,371
I get to be whoever I wanna be.
1226
00:59:40,330 --> 00:59:41,373
All the time.
1227
00:59:42,165 --> 00:59:45,169
I wish you cared about
what we thought of you, Reef,
1228
00:59:45,252 --> 00:59:47,754
more than a bunch of people
on the Internet.
1229
00:59:50,549 --> 00:59:53,177
And the next time you do
a performative apology tour,
1230
00:59:53,260 --> 00:59:56,513
throw your two best friends on the list,
you sad fucking junkie.
1231
01:00:13,614 --> 01:00:15,324
Why are you still here?
1232
01:00:18,243 --> 01:00:21,496
I ordered food
and I already paid for it on the app.
1233
01:00:28,086 --> 01:00:30,672
Why did you stay my friend, Xander?
1234
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:36,386
[sighs]
1235
01:00:39,056 --> 01:00:41,183
[sighs] I hate emotions so fucking much.
1236
01:00:41,266 --> 01:00:42,267
Um...
1237
01:00:43,310 --> 01:00:45,312
[sighs]
1238
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:49,733
When we were in high school,
1239
01:00:50,317 --> 01:00:52,736
every other word
out of everyone's mouth was "faggot."
1240
01:00:52,819 --> 01:00:53,779
Including mine.
1241
01:00:53,862 --> 01:00:57,032
And one time,
you slept over in tenth grade
1242
01:00:57,115 --> 01:00:59,743
and you asked me point-blank if I was gay.
1243
01:00:59,826 --> 01:01:03,956
And I denied it for hours
and we got into this big, screaming fight.
1244
01:01:04,039 --> 01:01:07,417
And you said to me...
1245
01:01:09,336 --> 01:01:11,880
You said you wouldn't not be my friend
if I was gay.
1246
01:01:13,549 --> 01:01:15,968
You would only not be my friend
if I was not myself.
1247
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,848
Because that would be too hard to watch.
1248
01:01:23,642 --> 01:01:26,353
[sighs]
1249
01:01:27,563 --> 01:01:32,025
When you act gross like this,
I choose to remember that person.
1250
01:01:46,665 --> 01:01:48,667
[melancholy music plays]
1251
01:02:54,316 --> 01:02:57,402
[shopkeeper] Mm-hmm.
There's three bags in there.
1252
01:03:34,898 --> 01:03:35,899
[music ends]
1253
01:03:38,569 --> 01:03:41,488
[interviewer sighs]
1254
01:03:41,572 --> 01:03:42,656
[chuckles]
1255
01:03:42,739 --> 01:03:43,866
[interviewer] Hi. [sighs]
1256
01:03:43,949 --> 01:03:45,492
Great to see you, Drew.
1257
01:03:46,159 --> 01:03:48,495
[chuckles] It's great to see you too.
1258
01:03:48,579 --> 01:03:50,581
Thank you for doing this, by the way.
1259
01:03:50,664 --> 01:03:52,332
- I mean...
- Oh.
1260
01:03:52,416 --> 01:03:55,419
[Drew Barrymore]
I've been thinking about you a lot lately
1261
01:03:55,502 --> 01:04:00,257
and how much our lives have paralleled
1262
01:04:00,340 --> 01:04:02,467
and the things we've been through.
1263
01:04:03,135 --> 01:04:07,347
It's a very, very unique experience.
1264
01:04:08,056 --> 01:04:09,516
Like when we were kids.
1265
01:04:10,142 --> 01:04:11,894
[sighs]
1266
01:04:11,977 --> 01:04:17,816
Like why did we do this,
and who did we do it for?
1267
01:04:18,609 --> 01:04:20,360
[producer] One minute to live air.
1268
01:04:21,278 --> 01:04:23,197
[Drew Barrymore] You know what's funny?
1269
01:04:25,407 --> 01:04:27,075
I didn't like you.
1270
01:04:27,159 --> 01:04:29,703
[stammers] Is that funny?
1271
01:04:29,786 --> 01:04:32,372
You were always so smug. You know?
1272
01:04:32,456 --> 01:04:38,128
But then when Virginia called me
and told me what really is going on
1273
01:04:38,795 --> 01:04:42,799
and what you are surviving as a victim...
1274
01:04:43,383 --> 01:04:46,845
I mean, and the fact that you were
willing to talk about it
1275
01:04:46,929 --> 01:04:49,765
and share everything
and share it with the world...
1276
01:04:50,474 --> 01:04:52,518
I mean, you're a hero.
1277
01:04:52,601 --> 01:04:55,187
And I want to interview that hero.
1278
01:04:56,188 --> 01:04:57,189
[laughs]
1279
01:05:05,948 --> 01:05:07,241
It's gonna be great.
1280
01:05:08,742 --> 01:05:09,993
Yeah.
1281
01:05:11,912 --> 01:05:13,455
[stammers] Um...
1282
01:05:13,539 --> 01:05:14,873
[inhales deeply]
1283
01:05:15,457 --> 01:05:17,000
I'm going to leave.
1284
01:05:17,793 --> 01:05:19,086
[Drew Barrymore] What?
1285
01:05:19,586 --> 01:05:21,004
I'm gonna leave now.
1286
01:05:21,088 --> 01:05:23,632
- [producer] Thirty seconds to live air.
- [Drew Barrymore] Wait. No. You can't.
1287
01:05:23,715 --> 01:05:24,800
D... No, no.
1288
01:05:24,883 --> 01:05:26,051
We can talk about other thi...
1289
01:05:26,134 --> 01:05:27,427
- I mean, we need to talk about...
- Yeah.
1290
01:05:27,511 --> 01:05:29,721
- ...the thing but... [stammers]
- I just don't wanna do this.
1291
01:05:30,305 --> 01:05:31,348
But you're here?
1292
01:05:31,431 --> 01:05:32,683
- Why would you do that?
- I'm really sorry.
1293
01:05:32,766 --> 01:05:34,268
- I'm really sorry, Drew.
- Did I say something?
1294
01:05:34,351 --> 01:05:35,185
No.
1295
01:05:35,269 --> 01:05:38,856
[Drew Barrymore] But, you cannot do this.
We're about to go to live TV in...
1296
01:05:38,939 --> 01:05:40,440
How many seconds?
1297
01:05:40,524 --> 01:05:41,567
[producer] Ten seconds to live air.
1298
01:05:41,650 --> 01:05:44,027
What the fuck are you doing, Reef?
1299
01:05:44,111 --> 01:05:45,571
God fucking damn it.
1300
01:05:45,654 --> 01:05:49,157
You fucked me! I will fuck you so hard!
1301
01:05:49,241 --> 01:05:52,369
I'll fucking go Ellen
on all you motherfuckers!
1302
01:05:53,078 --> 01:05:54,663
Bubbi, hey, it fucking worked.
1303
01:05:54,746 --> 01:05:56,623
Ira, I'm leaving.
1304
01:05:56,707 --> 01:05:57,916
No, you don't understand.
1305
01:05:58,000 --> 01:05:59,084
It worked.
1306
01:05:59,751 --> 01:06:01,461
What worked? I didn't do the interview.
1307
01:06:01,545 --> 01:06:03,589
Yeah, no shit. You didn't have to.
1308
01:06:03,672 --> 01:06:05,549
And I knew that
even threatening a live interview
1309
01:06:05,632 --> 01:06:07,384
would force their hand and it fucking did.
1310
01:06:07,467 --> 01:06:10,929
It's just some random nobody who found
the video on his ex-girlfriend's computer.
1311
01:06:11,013 --> 01:06:14,892
They caved.
I got him from 15 mil down to 35K.
1312
01:06:14,975 --> 01:06:16,768
35K
1313
01:06:16,852 --> 01:06:19,938
and this is all behind you
for the rest of your life.
1314
01:06:26,195 --> 01:06:27,529
Hello?
1315
01:06:32,242 --> 01:06:33,410
I don't know.
1316
01:06:36,413 --> 01:06:38,081
Fuck do you mean, "I don't know"?
1317
01:06:39,124 --> 01:06:42,753
I just wanted all of this to go away.
1318
01:06:45,130 --> 01:06:48,467
And now that it's right here
in front of me...
1319
01:06:52,471 --> 01:06:54,556
It's just so fucking wrong.
1320
01:07:09,154 --> 01:07:12,699
Bubbi, it's 35K. It's a fucking 4Runner.
1321
01:07:16,119 --> 01:07:17,621
[sighs]
1322
01:07:17,704 --> 01:07:18,914
You pay it.
1323
01:07:20,707 --> 01:07:23,085
[sighs] It's the cosmic tax.
1324
01:07:23,168 --> 01:07:24,169
[sighs]
1325
01:07:33,178 --> 01:07:35,180
["Wawa by the Ocean" playing]
1326
01:08:18,473 --> 01:08:19,975
[music ends]
1327
01:08:27,399 --> 01:08:28,233
Hey.
1328
01:08:28,317 --> 01:08:29,943
This is so crazy.
1329
01:08:30,027 --> 01:08:31,778
- [laughs]
- Yeah, I guess.
1330
01:08:31,862 --> 01:08:35,490
I mean, you're Reef Hawk... [chuckles]
...and you're talking to me.
1331
01:08:35,573 --> 01:08:38,577
- Like, what? [chuckles]
- Yeah, I don't know.
1332
01:08:38,660 --> 01:08:40,412
You're a huge movie star, dude.
1333
01:08:40,495 --> 01:08:43,122
Like, shouldn't you be at
a big party or something?
1334
01:08:43,207 --> 01:08:47,419
Um, I mean, I've been shooting
in Albuquerque for, like, six months.
1335
01:08:47,502 --> 01:08:51,048
Living in this, um...
[inhales deeply] ...hotel room.
1336
01:08:52,424 --> 01:08:56,845
I guess I'm, uh,
a little lonely or something.
1337
01:08:57,930 --> 01:08:59,598
That's no good. [chuckles]
1338
01:09:01,558 --> 01:09:07,773
Don't you have, like, a wife or kids
or a family or something? [chuckles]
1339
01:09:09,858 --> 01:09:10,859
No.
1340
01:09:10,943 --> 01:09:13,444
[inhales deeply] No, I don't.
1341
01:09:13,529 --> 01:09:15,238
[breathes heavily]
1342
01:09:15,322 --> 01:09:16,323
Oh.
1343
01:09:18,116 --> 01:09:19,117
Why not?
1344
01:09:20,452 --> 01:09:21,662
Uh...
1345
01:09:22,703 --> 01:09:23,747
Why not?
1346
01:09:29,169 --> 01:09:31,171
I guess, uh...
1347
01:09:34,508 --> 01:09:38,386
I guess, when it came time
to do that, I, uh...
1348
01:09:40,889 --> 01:09:47,770
I always chose something else
I thought was bigger or more important.
1349
01:09:56,071 --> 01:09:57,364
That's really sad.
1350
01:10:03,954 --> 01:10:05,038
[sighs]
1351
01:10:06,415 --> 01:10:07,791
Do you wanna see my tits?
1352
01:10:08,542 --> 01:10:10,502
[sighs] Sure.
1353
01:10:17,092 --> 01:10:19,803
[shuffling sounds play through laptop]
1354
01:10:20,762 --> 01:10:23,056
[Reef grunts through laptop]
1355
01:10:27,019 --> 01:10:28,103
[groans]
1356
01:10:44,161 --> 01:10:45,412
You have kind eyes.
1357
01:10:47,539 --> 01:10:48,540
Thank you.
1358
01:10:50,209 --> 01:10:51,627
I just need you for two minutes outside?
1359
01:10:51,710 --> 01:10:53,378
- [Buddy] Yeah.
- Okay, great.
1360
01:11:00,052 --> 01:11:02,179
[Ira] Gail, can you call valet
and have their cars pulled up?
1361
01:11:08,018 --> 01:11:13,899
You know, I've thought and fantasized
about what I would do or say to you
1362
01:11:13,982 --> 01:11:15,359
if I ever had the chance.
1363
01:11:25,744 --> 01:11:26,828
Do you hate me?
1364
01:11:32,668 --> 01:11:34,837
No. No, I don't... I don't hate you.
1365
01:11:37,172 --> 01:11:40,300
[stammers] I love you, man. [chuckles]
1366
01:11:41,510 --> 01:11:43,011
Uh...
1367
01:11:46,056 --> 01:11:47,057
I'm just broke.
1368
01:11:57,359 --> 01:11:59,361
["How Lucky" playing]
1369
01:12:14,084 --> 01:12:15,085
[sighs]
1370
01:12:27,931 --> 01:12:32,686
There aren't words
for what you mean to me,
1371
01:12:33,729 --> 01:12:40,652
and the shame I feel
for what I put you through.
1372
01:12:49,536 --> 01:12:51,622
[sighs] You're my whole life.
1373
01:12:54,499 --> 01:12:57,461
[sighing]
1374
01:12:58,879 --> 01:13:00,964
But it's not about me.
1375
01:13:08,889 --> 01:13:10,307
[breathes heavily]
1376
01:13:12,142 --> 01:13:13,644
I'm sorry.
1377
01:13:14,311 --> 01:13:16,647
[sighing]
1378
01:13:16,730 --> 01:13:18,023
I forgive you.
1379
01:13:19,983 --> 01:13:21,235
I forgive you too.
1380
01:13:21,985 --> 01:13:24,238
[sobs]
1381
01:13:25,656 --> 01:13:26,949
Hey.
1382
01:13:27,991 --> 01:13:29,910
[sobs] I'm sorry.
1383
01:13:32,538 --> 01:13:33,622
Do you need a hug?
1384
01:13:34,122 --> 01:13:35,582
- [chuckling] Yeah?
- [Reef laughs]
1385
01:13:35,666 --> 01:13:37,584
- [Kyle] Mmm.
- There we go.
1386
01:13:37,668 --> 01:13:39,670
I love you, guys. [sniffles]
1387
01:13:39,753 --> 01:13:41,046
[Xander] Thank you, Reef.
1388
01:13:41,880 --> 01:13:42,881
[Reef sniffles]
1389
01:13:43,715 --> 01:13:45,843
- [no audible dialogue]
- [music continues]
1390
01:14:12,286 --> 01:14:13,745
[Red] Hello?
1391
01:14:13,829 --> 01:14:15,789
Hey, hi.
1392
01:14:16,874 --> 01:14:17,958
[Red] Who is this?
1393
01:14:18,041 --> 01:14:19,293
It's Reef.
1394
01:14:20,085 --> 01:14:22,546
[Red] Reef. Reef?
1395
01:14:23,213 --> 01:14:24,798
What can I do for you, Reef?
1396
01:14:25,424 --> 01:14:27,426
I'm just calling to see how your day is.
1397
01:14:28,510 --> 01:14:29,970
What do you mean?
1398
01:14:30,053 --> 01:14:32,014
I mean, how's your day?
1399
01:14:32,097 --> 01:14:35,309
Like, how are the events of your day?
1400
01:14:35,392 --> 01:14:37,603
What do you mean, how's my day?
How are the events of my day?
1401
01:14:37,686 --> 01:14:39,062
What does that mean?
1402
01:14:39,730 --> 01:14:41,607
I'm just asking how your day is.
1403
01:14:41,690 --> 01:14:44,026
Like, what you did, and how it is.
1404
01:14:44,109 --> 01:14:46,069
What the fuck do you mean, how is my day?
1405
01:14:46,153 --> 01:14:48,155
What do you want, Reef? What's your angle?
1406
01:14:48,238 --> 01:14:52,117
Red, I'm calling to see
how your day is going.
1407
01:14:53,202 --> 01:14:55,120
Like, how you are.
1408
01:14:55,204 --> 01:14:56,538
Like, how you're doing.
1409
01:14:58,916 --> 01:14:59,917
Oh.
1410
01:15:01,084 --> 01:15:02,085
Oh.
1411
01:15:02,961 --> 01:15:04,171
Well, thanks.
1412
01:15:04,254 --> 01:15:06,798
Mmm. How I'm doing? I'm just hanging out.
1413
01:15:07,716 --> 01:15:08,759
That's all I'm doing.
1414
01:15:09,510 --> 01:15:10,511
Nice.
1415
01:15:11,512 --> 01:15:12,971
That's awesome.
1416
01:15:13,055 --> 01:15:14,890
[Red] Yeah, but there's n--
You know, nothing crazy.
1417
01:15:15,557 --> 01:15:18,560
- Same old.
- [Reef] Yeah, yeah.
1418
01:15:18,644 --> 01:15:20,229
Uh, same.
1419
01:15:21,230 --> 01:15:24,983
Not a whole lot here today either.
1420
01:15:25,984 --> 01:15:28,070
Well, that's nice. That's nice.
1421
01:15:28,862 --> 01:15:33,450
[speaking indistinctly]
1422
01:15:33,534 --> 01:15:37,120
[speaking indistinctly]
1423
01:16:05,274 --> 01:16:06,400
[music ends]
1424
01:16:32,050 --> 01:16:34,052
["Clocks and Spoons" playing]
1425
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:38,182
{\an8}- Girl. Girl, girl, girl.
- Oh, my--
1426
01:16:38,265 --> 01:16:39,933
{\an8}- We got this. We got this.
- Who are you?
1427
01:16:40,017 --> 01:16:41,852
{\an8}The second most interesting bitch
in this room.
1428
01:16:41,935 --> 01:16:43,061
{\an8}- Trust.
- [gasps, sighs]
1429
01:16:43,145 --> 01:16:45,147
{\an8}[producer] Three, two, one.
1430
01:16:45,898 --> 01:16:48,233
Good evening and welcome to
1431
01:16:48,317 --> 01:16:52,279
the prime-time special edition of
The Drew Barrymore Show.
1432
01:16:52,362 --> 01:16:56,491
We begin tonight with
a gentleman I do not know.
1433
01:16:56,575 --> 01:16:57,993
Hi, Xander Alexander.
1434
01:16:58,076 --> 01:17:01,205
Huge fan
and you soon will be of mine as well.
1435
01:17:01,830 --> 01:17:05,792
So much of your show is about your guests
coming on here and unloading on your tits.
1436
01:17:05,876 --> 01:17:10,422
And I just want you to know that today,
I'm here to take that load for you.
1437
01:17:10,964 --> 01:17:15,177
Well, let's get the tissues out
and do this right now.
1438
01:17:15,260 --> 01:17:16,136
Yes.
1439
01:17:16,220 --> 01:17:19,389
First of all, I don't know if you know
anything about my past
1440
01:17:19,473 --> 01:17:22,226
but, you know, E.T. changed my life.
1441
01:17:22,309 --> 01:17:25,521
Actually, I always thought it was "et."
You know, like French?
1442
01:17:25,604 --> 01:17:27,856
Never seen it before, saw the poster.
1443
01:17:27,940 --> 01:17:30,234
Know how relevant it is,
know how important it is.
1444
01:17:30,317 --> 01:17:32,778
From what I understand, it's about you
and a bunch of other little kids
1445
01:17:32,861 --> 01:17:36,198
finding a little old Jewish guy
and taking him for a ride on a bicycle.
1446
01:17:36,281 --> 01:17:38,450
The bald guy, you just
put a blanket on him
1447
01:17:38,534 --> 01:17:39,952
and take him for a ride on a bicycle.
1448
01:17:40,702 --> 01:17:41,703
Again, I haven't seen it.
1449
01:17:42,538 --> 01:17:45,082
I've only seen Call Me by Your Name
and The Notebook.
1450
01:23:35,182 --> 01:23:37,643
[Xander] I'm Reef Hawk
and I got staph in the sauna.