1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:04,523 This programme contains graphic violent scenes, strong language 2 00:00:04,523 --> 00:00:06,883 and scenes which some viewers may find upsetting from the start 3 00:00:06,883 --> 00:00:08,723 This is a story about a boat, 4 00:00:08,723 --> 00:00:13,163 a boat that washed up on a beach and changed a lot of lives, 5 00:00:13,163 --> 00:00:16,003 like for a woman called Janet... Janet! ..and Samuel. 6 00:00:16,003 --> 00:00:18,723 My name's Samuel. Hi...Samuel. 7 00:00:18,723 --> 00:00:21,043 And him... What you dinky doing, you? 8 00:00:21,043 --> 00:00:23,923 ..and her... Pat Tooh with an H. 9 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,923 ..and him... Ben. 10 00:00:25,923 --> 00:00:27,483 You don't know me... 11 00:00:27,483 --> 00:00:29,283 ..and this one. Le Tailleur. 12 00:00:29,283 --> 00:00:31,123 And also this guy... 13 00:00:33,963 --> 00:00:35,803 He's not much of a talker. 14 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,803 STATIC HISS 15 00:00:40,043 --> 00:00:41,963 CROW CAWS 16 00:00:52,043 --> 00:00:57,443 Argh! 17 00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:08,603 Now, some stories start a long, long time ago. 18 00:01:10,323 --> 00:01:14,523 Some stories start in a deep, dark wood. 19 00:01:14,523 --> 00:01:18,723 Some stories start in a galaxy far, far away. 20 00:01:18,723 --> 00:01:21,123 But this story starts here, 21 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:25,363 under a damn pylon, with a severed head, of all things. 22 00:01:28,203 --> 00:01:29,443 Shall we begin? 23 00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,523 MOPED ENGINE 24 00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:45,523 Let's go back in time to the small town of Applebury. 25 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:48,323 Not the kind of place people die to go to, 26 00:01:48,323 --> 00:01:50,843 more the kind where people go to die. 27 00:01:53,283 --> 00:01:56,963 It starts one morning, a Thursday, I think, 28 00:01:56,963 --> 00:02:00,243 under smokestacks on a lonely country road. 29 00:02:00,243 --> 00:02:03,763 A woman with blue in her hair driving towards a Thursday... 30 00:02:03,763 --> 00:02:04,843 METALLIC CLUNK 31 00:02:04,843 --> 00:02:08,043 ..unlike any other Thursday she'd experienced. 32 00:02:12,163 --> 00:02:14,643 WHISTLING 33 00:02:23,283 --> 00:02:26,243 TUNELESS WHISTLING CONTINUES 34 00:02:32,643 --> 00:02:37,283 Keith, do you mind? It's like one of the Seven Dwarfs had a fucking brain injury. 35 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:41,043 I'm five-foot-seven. Perfectly good height for a man. 36 00:02:41,043 --> 00:02:45,643 Anyhow, I don't claim to be musical. That's my brother. Hey! 37 00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:49,003 He does... Less chat, come on, we've got quotas here. 38 00:02:59,563 --> 00:03:03,163 Nigel! Shut it down, there's a jam! 39 00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:07,603 Hang on. 40 00:03:14,203 --> 00:03:17,243 Yeah? Well, tell Maggie to... 41 00:03:20,163 --> 00:03:24,203 Nah. We'll have to get someone from maintenance here. 42 00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:28,843 FAINTLY: It's stuck, I can't get it to work and I can't... 43 00:03:28,843 --> 00:03:30,643 OK, clear! 44 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:32,003 SCREAMS 45 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,043 Nige! Argh! 46 00:03:36,603 --> 00:03:38,803 MACHINERY STOPS 47 00:03:53,643 --> 00:03:57,003 Worst Thursday ever. 48 00:04:09,043 --> 00:04:12,123 WAVES CRASHING 49 00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:31,963 FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO 50 00:04:43,803 --> 00:04:46,283 SIREN 51 00:04:52,643 --> 00:04:55,603 LOUDSPEAKER: Please switch off your engine, so we can board your vessel! 52 00:04:55,603 --> 00:04:56,763 Merde! 53 00:05:08,243 --> 00:05:10,163 Bonsoir. 54 00:05:10,163 --> 00:05:12,283 Do you mind tying that down for us? 55 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:28,203 Bit nasty out, eh? I've seen worse. 56 00:05:31,403 --> 00:05:33,403 Mind if I take a look around? 57 00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:35,243 May I ask why? 58 00:05:35,243 --> 00:05:37,923 Take a quick look around, then I'll be out your minge. 59 00:05:48,283 --> 00:05:49,483 Mackerel. 60 00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:57,043 Yeah, a whole lot of mackerel. 61 00:05:57,043 --> 00:05:58,843 It was a good haul. 62 00:06:09,523 --> 00:06:11,123 And...not mackerel. 63 00:06:19,523 --> 00:06:21,003 Come on, then. 64 00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:24,043 GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING 65 00:06:26,203 --> 00:06:29,243 FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO 66 00:06:32,803 --> 00:06:34,043 Argh! 67 00:06:40,723 --> 00:06:42,123 Fucking get up! 68 00:06:49,403 --> 00:06:51,763 MUSIC CONTINUES 69 00:07:00,243 --> 00:07:03,283 You fucking done? Fucking get up! 70 00:07:03,283 --> 00:07:04,483 Fucking get up! 71 00:07:04,483 --> 00:07:07,603 YELLING AND GRUNTING 72 00:07:17,923 --> 00:07:19,443 Urgh! Urgh! 73 00:07:33,123 --> 00:07:34,883 CLUNK 74 00:07:40,763 --> 00:07:44,523 JAUNTY FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES 75 00:07:59,243 --> 00:08:01,283 THUNDER RUMBLES 76 00:09:22,803 --> 00:09:25,483 # Anything you can do, I can do better... # 77 00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:27,323 Hiya. 78 00:09:27,323 --> 00:09:28,963 Evening. 79 00:09:28,963 --> 00:09:30,763 # No, you can't Yes, I can 80 00:09:30,763 --> 00:09:33,643 # No, you can't Yes, I can. Yes, I can. 81 00:09:33,643 --> 00:09:36,363 # Anything you can be, I can be greater 82 00:09:36,363 --> 00:09:38,563 # Sooner or later, I'm greater than you 83 00:09:38,563 --> 00:09:40,083 # No, you're not Yes, I am 84 00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:41,923 # No, you're not Yes, I am 85 00:09:41,923 --> 00:09:44,243 # No, you're not Yes, I am. Yes, I am! 86 00:09:44,243 --> 00:09:47,043 # I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge 87 00:09:47,043 --> 00:09:49,883 # I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow 88 00:09:49,883 --> 00:09:52,323 # I can live on bread and cheese... # Right... 89 00:09:52,323 --> 00:09:55,123 # And only on that? Yes. So can a rat 90 00:09:55,123 --> 00:09:57,483 # Any note you can reach, I can go higher 91 00:09:57,483 --> 00:10:00,283 # I can sing anything higher than you 92 00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:01,723 # No, you can't Yes, I can 93 00:10:01,723 --> 00:10:03,163 # No, you can't Yes, I can 94 00:10:03,163 --> 00:10:05,963 # No, you can't Yes, I can. Yes, I can. 95 00:10:05,963 --> 00:10:08,603 # Anything you can say, I can say faster 96 00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:10,563 # I can say anything faster than you 97 00:10:10,563 --> 00:10:11,603 # No, you can't Yes, I can 98 00:10:11,603 --> 00:10:12,643 # No, you can't Yes, I can 99 00:10:12,643 --> 00:10:14,003 # No, you can't Yes, I can 100 00:10:14,003 --> 00:10:16,043 # No, you can't Yes, I can... # 101 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:21,963 You could just buy it, you know, love? You can buy them?! 102 00:10:21,963 --> 00:10:26,083 I didn't win it at a fair that only exists for people who can sell them on at fairs. 103 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,723 See, how it works is I buy the stuffed animals, 104 00:10:28,723 --> 00:10:32,243 and then in this stall, people come and they play and they win... 105 00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:34,283 No, I get that. I were just... 106 00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:36,003 Doesn't matter. 107 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:38,723 I'm out of money anyway. That were my budget for the week. 108 00:10:38,723 --> 00:10:42,483 But it's not your problem. Thanks. Thanks, anyway. 109 00:10:42,483 --> 00:10:44,803 Tell you what, Annie Oakley. 110 00:10:44,803 --> 00:10:48,243 You've practically bought it already, amount you've slapped down. 111 00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:53,483 Here you go, pet. 112 00:10:53,483 --> 00:10:55,123 Are you sure? 113 00:10:55,123 --> 00:10:58,843 Piece of advice. Don't let it shit on the floor and definitely don't kiss it, 114 00:10:58,843 --> 00:11:00,923 or it turns into a 22-stone fuckhead. 115 00:11:03,403 --> 00:11:04,443 Ta. 116 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:20,323 KIDS SCREAM 117 00:11:28,363 --> 00:11:30,603 KIDS LAUGH 118 00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:57,283 CROAKY VOICE: Alan... 119 00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,843 Alan! 120 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:02,243 Ribbit, ribbit... No way! Hiya, love. 121 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,563 You finally won the beast! Only took eight years. 122 00:12:04,563 --> 00:12:07,243 The approximate lifespan of the West European hedgehog. 123 00:12:07,243 --> 00:12:10,643 Just don't kiss him, or he turns into a 20-stone fuckhead. Ah! 124 00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:13,723 Sorry. How did you do it? 125 00:12:13,723 --> 00:12:16,243 RUSSIAN ACCENT: I am Russian spy. You know this. 126 00:12:16,243 --> 00:12:21,123 Ah, right. My hand, it become rocket launcher, I shoot the cans at a local fair 127 00:12:21,123 --> 00:12:23,963 and job done, as they say. Shush, don't tell anybody. 128 00:12:23,963 --> 00:12:25,683 You silly woman. 129 00:12:25,683 --> 00:12:27,163 New hand looks good. 130 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,003 No, it doesn't. But thanks, anyway. 131 00:12:30,963 --> 00:12:33,803 You all right? Yeah. I'll be fine, they'll see me right. 132 00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:36,603 Janet, Janet... 133 00:12:36,603 --> 00:12:38,243 Dearie me. 134 00:12:38,243 --> 00:12:41,083 Bit of a coincidence seeing you here, isn't it? 135 00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:45,203 No, I was out with a friend actually. So... Yeah. 136 00:12:45,203 --> 00:12:48,483 Where is she, then? She's, erm... 137 00:12:48,483 --> 00:12:52,963 Oh, yes, she's over there. She's on one of the... She's on the slide. 138 00:12:52,963 --> 00:12:57,683 No... Oh, no, she's not. Maybe she... Hot-dogs. Candyfloss, or something like that... 139 00:12:57,683 --> 00:13:00,643 She loves candyfloss. You can't keep doing this. 140 00:13:00,643 --> 00:13:03,763 I don't want to get into restraining orders, but... 141 00:13:03,763 --> 00:13:06,483 This is not your life now. 142 00:13:06,483 --> 00:13:10,363 Maybe you'd be happier if you let Jesus into your world. 143 00:13:11,563 --> 00:13:12,803 Like I did. 144 00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:15,883 Let's go. 145 00:13:15,883 --> 00:13:18,043 We're praying for you, Jenny. 146 00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:20,683 It's Janet. You know it's Janet... 147 00:13:22,763 --> 00:13:25,923 She knew full well it was Janet. 148 00:13:25,923 --> 00:13:27,843 She was just fucking with her. 149 00:13:33,483 --> 00:13:34,683 Sorry. 150 00:13:40,683 --> 00:13:43,443 Would you like your fortune read, darling? 151 00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:45,363 I think it's best I don't. 152 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:50,363 They say fortune favours the brave. 153 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:54,883 But sometimes, even the bravest souls get left behind. 154 00:14:40,803 --> 00:14:43,963 That's the thing about life, see? 155 00:14:43,963 --> 00:14:46,963 Some frogs never do get kissed. 156 00:14:46,963 --> 00:14:49,723 Some fairy tales never get their ending. 157 00:14:55,763 --> 00:14:57,803 But sometimes, 158 00:14:57,803 --> 00:14:59,563 they find another way. 159 00:14:59,563 --> 00:15:01,763 BIRDS CALL 160 00:15:03,523 --> 00:15:05,163 Drop it. 161 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,563 Good boy. 162 00:15:32,563 --> 00:15:34,523 Come here. Come here! 163 00:15:36,323 --> 00:15:38,283 Jump. That's nice. 164 00:15:38,283 --> 00:15:41,163 Come here. Come on, then. Good boy. DOG YAPPING 165 00:15:48,683 --> 00:15:50,043 Morning. 166 00:15:50,043 --> 00:15:51,483 Morning. 167 00:15:55,003 --> 00:15:57,723 Don't normally see anyone else this time. 168 00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,123 I don't sleep well. 169 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:02,003 Me neither. 170 00:16:04,443 --> 00:16:07,483 Wow! Quick, yours. Ah, no, he's not mine. 171 00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:09,323 The neighbour lets me take him out. 172 00:16:13,843 --> 00:16:16,443 You're not from round here? 173 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,643 What gave it away? 174 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,003 Oh, you know... 175 00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:23,123 Everything. 176 00:16:23,123 --> 00:16:25,203 Yeah. Just moved up from London. 177 00:16:25,203 --> 00:16:27,443 We're "one of those". 178 00:16:27,443 --> 00:16:29,043 Tired of the rat race, were it? 179 00:16:29,043 --> 00:16:30,563 Yeah. Something like that. 180 00:16:42,363 --> 00:16:43,923 Tom! 181 00:16:43,923 --> 00:16:46,083 Tom! Where are you? 182 00:16:46,083 --> 00:16:47,243 Tom? 183 00:16:50,683 --> 00:16:54,043 OK. Major Tom? 184 00:16:54,043 --> 00:16:55,523 Major Tom! 185 00:16:57,163 --> 00:16:58,923 RATTLES CAT TREATS 186 00:16:58,923 --> 00:17:02,643 I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. We seem to have misplaced our cat. 187 00:17:02,643 --> 00:17:07,843 When Major Tom returns, would you please give us a call? Thank you. 188 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,323 You're leaving me your cat? 189 00:17:12,603 --> 00:17:13,883 Thank you. 190 00:17:15,003 --> 00:17:17,123 ENGINE STARTS 191 00:17:19,763 --> 00:17:21,723 MAJOR TOM MEOWS 192 00:17:27,043 --> 00:17:29,843 THUNDERCLAP 193 00:17:43,043 --> 00:17:45,723 And the sea air of course, good for the soul, they say. 194 00:17:46,843 --> 00:17:51,683 Well, your new home has been officially recognised as the country's hairiest arsehole. 195 00:17:52,683 --> 00:17:55,523 Makes Peterborough look like...Portugal. 196 00:18:00,043 --> 00:18:02,203 I think it's people make places. 197 00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:05,723 Then we're really fucked. 198 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:09,203 Sorry. 199 00:18:11,923 --> 00:18:13,843 WIND HOWLS 200 00:18:16,003 --> 00:18:17,403 DOG WHIMPERS 201 00:18:19,483 --> 00:18:21,683 DOG YAPS 202 00:18:26,243 --> 00:18:28,363 What the hell...? Bette, come here. 203 00:18:29,523 --> 00:18:32,283 What is it? What is it, girl? 204 00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:34,563 What is...? 205 00:18:52,563 --> 00:18:53,963 Jesus Christ! 206 00:18:55,723 --> 00:18:57,043 Oh, God! 207 00:19:18,803 --> 00:19:21,843 Call the police. My phone's out. 208 00:19:21,843 --> 00:19:23,643 Right. Just fucking... Come on. 209 00:19:40,163 --> 00:19:42,403 You got to look at this. What? 210 00:19:45,283 --> 00:19:47,523 Fucking hell! Yeah. 211 00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:56,643 What are you waiting for? There's two dead people here. 212 00:19:56,643 --> 00:20:01,483 The street value's got to run into tens of millions... 213 00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:05,723 So what? Let's just, erm... Let's just give this a minute. 214 00:20:05,723 --> 00:20:08,003 Let's just think... There's nowt to think about. 215 00:20:08,003 --> 00:20:10,523 Jesus! Give me your fucking phone! Just, erm... 216 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,003 Sometimes... Sometimes, the world... 217 00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,563 The world throws you a bone. 218 00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:18,883 But you don't always see it. You don't always recognise it, but... 219 00:20:19,923 --> 00:20:23,603 This, what's happening right now, this is the world throwing us a bone. 220 00:20:25,003 --> 00:20:26,523 You want to fucking take it? 221 00:20:28,323 --> 00:20:29,683 I don't know. 222 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:32,403 Are you mad? 223 00:20:33,843 --> 00:20:36,043 My name's Samuel. What's your name? 224 00:20:36,043 --> 00:20:39,643 What? Look, this situation's fucked up enough as it is without us being total strangers. 225 00:20:39,643 --> 00:20:42,123 My name's Samuel. What's yours, please? 226 00:20:42,123 --> 00:20:44,403 It's Janet. OK. Janet. OK. 227 00:20:45,843 --> 00:20:47,083 Hi, Janet. 228 00:20:48,323 --> 00:20:50,363 Hi, Samuel. 229 00:20:50,363 --> 00:20:51,563 Erm... 230 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:58,323 Listen... Listen, Janet, erm, back in London, I was a lawyer. 231 00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,683 And I, think I might... I know this is fucking insane, it's insane, I know, but... 232 00:21:01,683 --> 00:21:04,603 I think I know someone who'd give us a lot of money for this. 233 00:21:06,763 --> 00:21:10,483 I just came here to walk the bloody dog. So did I! 234 00:21:10,483 --> 00:21:13,203 But then the world... Threw us a bone, yeah. Only it's not a bone. 235 00:21:13,203 --> 00:21:16,283 It's a load of cocaine, the size of a fucking Nissan! 236 00:21:16,283 --> 00:21:18,403 I've gambled away my entire life savings. 237 00:21:22,043 --> 00:21:24,923 I sold my house, which is why we moved here. 238 00:21:24,923 --> 00:21:27,243 Camilla, my wife, has no idea. 239 00:21:28,363 --> 00:21:30,843 I don't know what your story is... No, you don't. Right. 240 00:21:30,843 --> 00:21:33,723 But you are telling me you can't use a few million quid? 241 00:21:35,523 --> 00:21:38,363 It is not that simple. But it could be. 242 00:21:39,963 --> 00:21:43,123 Sometimes, you know, the best thing to do is to look out for yourself. 243 00:21:43,123 --> 00:21:45,683 Cos God knows life kicks you in the bollocks often enough, 244 00:21:45,683 --> 00:21:48,363 and when you get a chance you need to take it, grab it with 245 00:21:48,363 --> 00:21:51,923 both hands, because there's nothing worse than living with regret... 246 00:21:51,923 --> 00:21:54,483 HE FADES OUT, WAVES CRASH 247 00:21:54,483 --> 00:21:56,083 Where would we keep it? 248 00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,363 We should go. 249 00:22:40,363 --> 00:22:42,603 DOG WHIMPERS 250 00:22:42,603 --> 00:22:44,123 Oh, shit! What? 251 00:22:47,203 --> 00:22:48,683 I got to clean my dog. 252 00:22:59,763 --> 00:23:02,243 MOBILE RINGS 253 00:23:17,523 --> 00:23:19,843 We missed our date last night. 254 00:23:19,843 --> 00:23:21,723 But I'd already paid the deposit, 255 00:23:21,723 --> 00:23:25,603 so I had a whole beef Wellington to myself. 256 00:23:25,603 --> 00:23:27,403 And I ate it all, 257 00:23:27,403 --> 00:23:30,323 the whole soddin' Wellington. 258 00:23:30,323 --> 00:23:33,883 So are you going to give me a call back, or what? 259 00:23:33,883 --> 00:23:37,163 Just a text or anything, just to let me know that you're all right. 260 00:23:38,363 --> 00:23:40,483 Just call me, all right, love? 261 00:23:48,283 --> 00:23:52,283 Turns out the policeman's boyfriend was also a policeman. 262 00:23:53,443 --> 00:23:56,003 And while he was calling his dead lover, 263 00:23:56,003 --> 00:23:59,803 Samuel was washing his Pomeranian in the sea. 264 00:24:30,003 --> 00:24:32,163 Come on, come on, come on. 265 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:38,323 DOG YAPS 266 00:24:41,843 --> 00:24:44,403 Where the fuck were you? What took you so long? 267 00:24:47,443 --> 00:24:50,283 There was a woman...on the beach. 268 00:24:50,283 --> 00:24:51,643 She saw me. 269 00:24:51,643 --> 00:24:53,723 What? Christ... 270 00:24:53,723 --> 00:24:57,043 Well, she didn't see my face. Come on, just fucking drive. 271 00:25:07,843 --> 00:25:09,243 Hmm. 272 00:25:14,523 --> 00:25:16,403 999, what's your emergency? 273 00:25:16,403 --> 00:25:19,563 Yes, there's a Code 4 down at Applebury beach. 274 00:25:19,563 --> 00:25:21,283 A boat on the shore. 275 00:25:21,283 --> 00:25:23,283 No need for sirens, just the meat wagon. 276 00:25:24,363 --> 00:25:25,643 Your name, please? 277 00:25:25,643 --> 00:25:27,723 Pat Tooh, with an H. 278 00:25:27,723 --> 00:25:30,363 Right, are you able to wait a while, while we send an ambulance? 279 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:34,363 I used to be a paramedic, love. Trust me, they're extremely dead. 280 00:25:34,363 --> 00:25:36,763 They're on their way. Ah, lovely. 281 00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:46,163 IN FRENCH: 282 00:27:32,323 --> 00:27:35,883 MUFFLED GRUNTS 283 00:28:51,603 --> 00:28:53,643 PHONE RINGS 284 00:29:03,963 --> 00:29:05,363 Yes? 285 00:29:05,363 --> 00:29:06,763 What is it? 286 00:29:06,763 --> 00:29:08,123 Sh! 287 00:29:08,123 --> 00:29:09,483 Sh, sh, sh, sh! 288 00:29:10,683 --> 00:29:12,163 Ah, hold on, hold on. 289 00:29:15,843 --> 00:29:19,203 HE CRIES IN PAIN 290 00:29:22,923 --> 00:29:25,683 HE CHOKES 291 00:29:36,443 --> 00:29:38,283 Say that again. 292 00:29:42,003 --> 00:29:43,763 You are talking about my shipment? 293 00:29:46,723 --> 00:29:48,203 But this is a joke. 294 00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:49,723 Tell me it's a joke. 295 00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,763 This is how. 296 00:30:16,243 --> 00:30:18,523 Where are we even going? 297 00:30:18,523 --> 00:30:21,243 I think we should drop the dogs off first. 298 00:30:21,243 --> 00:30:23,683 Then I passed a storage unit on my way in. 299 00:30:23,683 --> 00:30:26,603 Storage? Right. You've got all the answers, haven't you, 300 00:30:26,603 --> 00:30:28,963 Mr Storage Face? 301 00:30:28,963 --> 00:30:30,203 Sorry, you got a charger? 302 00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:32,083 Just my phone's... 303 00:30:32,083 --> 00:30:34,363 My wife's, it's in there. 304 00:30:34,363 --> 00:30:36,163 That'll do it. 305 00:30:36,163 --> 00:30:37,963 Oh, I don't understand what just happened. 306 00:30:37,963 --> 00:30:40,603 I feel like my heart's beating right outside my chest. 307 00:30:40,603 --> 00:30:42,003 Maybe that's because it is. 308 00:30:54,403 --> 00:30:55,963 Shit. 309 00:30:57,603 --> 00:30:58,923 OK. 310 00:30:58,923 --> 00:31:00,483 OK, just... 311 00:31:00,483 --> 00:31:02,163 Just stay calm. I am. 312 00:31:02,163 --> 00:31:03,803 I'm talking to myself. Oh. 313 00:31:06,283 --> 00:31:08,003 Come on, come on, come on. 314 00:31:08,003 --> 00:31:09,683 Keep calm, remember? 315 00:31:11,523 --> 00:31:13,243 Oh, no. What? 316 00:31:14,643 --> 00:31:15,883 What shall I do? 317 00:31:15,883 --> 00:31:18,563 Don't do anything. Just wait and... Huh... 318 00:31:24,323 --> 00:31:25,483 OK. 319 00:31:35,083 --> 00:31:38,683 I'll get out of the way, nice...and slow. 320 00:31:38,683 --> 00:31:41,123 What the fuck are you doing? What do you mean, what am I doing? 321 00:31:41,123 --> 00:31:42,843 It's a one-way street! What? Oh, shit. 322 00:31:42,843 --> 00:31:44,483 SIREN WAILS 323 00:31:42,843 --> 00:31:44,483 What is wrong with you? 324 00:31:44,483 --> 00:31:46,443 I wasn't thinking. Well, start. Pull over! 325 00:31:46,443 --> 00:31:49,603 What? What if we just hit the pedal and we don't look back? 326 00:31:49,603 --> 00:31:52,323 We're not Thelma and Louise, you daft bastard. We're in Applebury. 327 00:31:52,323 --> 00:31:53,683 Stop the fucking car. 328 00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:57,803 Stay calm. Yes, yes, I know. 329 00:31:57,803 --> 00:32:00,043 I'm talking to MYSELF now. 330 00:32:00,043 --> 00:32:01,643 SHE SIGHS 331 00:32:10,763 --> 00:32:12,843 RADIO CHATTER 332 00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:29,603 Hi, officer. So, look, I'm new here, 333 00:32:29,603 --> 00:32:32,043 and I, erm, was meant to take a different turning 334 00:32:32,043 --> 00:32:34,523 and I ended up going down this one-way street. 335 00:32:34,523 --> 00:32:36,563 You know you're going down a one-way street? 336 00:32:36,563 --> 00:32:38,843 Yes, and I'm so sorry. Erm... 337 00:32:38,843 --> 00:32:41,083 You can't do that. No, er... 338 00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:44,123 What if a car was coming towards you? Or a bicycle? 339 00:32:44,123 --> 00:32:46,443 Neither would be good. Or a van. 340 00:32:46,443 --> 00:32:48,603 Absolutely. A mobility scooter. 341 00:32:48,603 --> 00:32:50,683 Right... A kid on a skateboard. 342 00:32:50,683 --> 00:32:52,243 Or those shoes with wheels on. 343 00:32:52,243 --> 00:32:54,283 Can you imagine how that could have ended up? 344 00:32:54,283 --> 00:32:55,803 Terrible. Be dead. 345 00:32:57,083 --> 00:32:59,003 Hiya. You all right? 346 00:32:59,003 --> 00:33:00,363 So, I really am very sorry. 347 00:33:00,363 --> 00:33:02,723 And I'm sorry to be wasting police time. 348 00:33:02,723 --> 00:33:04,203 It's important, the job you guys do. 349 00:33:04,203 --> 00:33:07,163 My friend and I, we were just out walking our dogs together. 350 00:33:07,163 --> 00:33:08,883 Dog buddies! 351 00:33:10,763 --> 00:33:14,963 Yes, dog friends, and we got talking and, er, the turning... 352 00:33:14,963 --> 00:33:16,443 All right. 353 00:33:28,523 --> 00:33:30,283 Tell me something, sir. Yes. 354 00:33:30,283 --> 00:33:31,883 In the back of your car there... 355 00:33:34,843 --> 00:33:36,243 ..is that a whippet? 356 00:33:37,923 --> 00:33:41,043 Yes, yes. Yeah, he's called Rambo. Rambo. 357 00:33:41,043 --> 00:33:42,883 My mummy used to have a whippet. 358 00:33:42,883 --> 00:33:44,883 Beautiful creatures, aren't they? Yeah. 359 00:33:44,883 --> 00:33:47,243 Odd little bodies, though. You can see their ribs. 360 00:33:47,243 --> 00:33:49,363 Yeah, you can. MAN: Ben, come on. 361 00:33:50,563 --> 00:33:53,043 Look, all right, no harm done, all right? 362 00:33:53,043 --> 00:33:55,243 But please be more careful next time. Yes, will do. 363 00:33:55,243 --> 00:33:57,163 Yeah, of course. Thanks. See you later. Right. 364 00:33:57,163 --> 00:33:58,883 Thank you so much. Thank you. 365 00:34:08,043 --> 00:34:09,323 Dog buddies? 366 00:34:10,883 --> 00:34:12,403 I panicked. 367 00:34:27,443 --> 00:34:31,763 And that's just ten of the great uses for safety pins. 368 00:34:31,763 --> 00:34:34,883 Harold's Life Hacks - hit the subscribe button below. 369 00:34:34,883 --> 00:34:36,003 CAMERA BEEPS 370 00:34:38,803 --> 00:34:40,963 Hey. We need storage. 371 00:34:40,963 --> 00:34:43,043 Oh, and, er, these. 372 00:34:45,883 --> 00:34:47,683 HE SIGHS 373 00:35:33,883 --> 00:35:36,403 Right, we've got a padlock each, 374 00:35:36,403 --> 00:35:38,643 so it needs both of us if we want to get into it. 375 00:35:39,963 --> 00:35:41,203 Don't you trust me? 376 00:35:41,203 --> 00:35:42,963 You said you were a lawyer, didn't you? 377 00:35:56,443 --> 00:35:58,243 You can just ask me, you know. 378 00:35:58,243 --> 00:36:00,443 Ask you what? My hand. You keep staring at it 379 00:36:00,443 --> 00:36:03,523 like it's a pair of tits. No, I don't! You do. 380 00:36:03,523 --> 00:36:04,843 It were a work accident - 381 00:36:04,843 --> 00:36:08,123 hand versus industrial metal-pressing machine. 382 00:36:08,123 --> 00:36:09,603 Guess who lost. 383 00:36:11,563 --> 00:36:13,163 Good lawyer could get you six figures. 384 00:36:13,163 --> 00:36:15,603 Oh, my God! I never thought of that! 385 00:36:15,603 --> 00:36:17,683 No, me, erm... 386 00:36:17,683 --> 00:36:20,483 My manager, he, er, he gave me some whisky after it happened. 387 00:36:20,483 --> 00:36:23,203 Don't tell the bods upstairs that you saw this. 388 00:36:23,203 --> 00:36:24,723 It'll just take the edge off it. 389 00:36:25,723 --> 00:36:27,323 I downed the lot, 390 00:36:27,323 --> 00:36:29,883 on account of the extreme fucking agony I were experiencing. 391 00:36:29,883 --> 00:36:31,843 He later claimed that I were drinking on the job, 392 00:36:31,843 --> 00:36:34,883 so, no pay-out...for me. 393 00:36:41,483 --> 00:36:43,563 You can ask me anything, you know. 394 00:36:43,563 --> 00:36:46,523 I'm all right, actually. 395 00:36:43,563 --> 00:36:46,523 MOBILE RINGS 396 00:36:46,523 --> 00:36:48,443 Sorry, got to take this. 397 00:36:48,443 --> 00:36:49,723 Hello, Samuel speaking. 398 00:36:51,363 --> 00:36:52,883 You're joking. 399 00:36:52,883 --> 00:36:55,283 OK. No, thanks. It's great. I, erm... 400 00:36:55,283 --> 00:36:57,483 Can I call you back? It's not a good time. 401 00:36:57,483 --> 00:36:58,683 Thank you. 402 00:37:00,003 --> 00:37:02,883 Who were that? It's my cat, Major Tom. 403 00:37:02,883 --> 00:37:04,163 Your what? 404 00:37:04,163 --> 00:37:05,883 No, my cat's not calling me, obviously. 405 00:37:05,883 --> 00:37:08,083 It's, er, my estate agent. 406 00:37:08,083 --> 00:37:10,323 When we moved out of the house in London, 407 00:37:10,323 --> 00:37:13,163 the cat went AWOL, and it seems he's back. 408 00:37:13,163 --> 00:37:15,843 You moved house and you left your cat behind? 409 00:37:18,163 --> 00:37:19,563 What the fuck am I doing? 410 00:37:22,523 --> 00:37:24,163 What now? 411 00:37:24,163 --> 00:37:25,843 I don't know. 412 00:37:25,843 --> 00:37:28,163 What are you supposed to do after something like this? 413 00:37:59,523 --> 00:38:01,803 I thought you could use this. 414 00:38:01,803 --> 00:38:05,003 Soy, right? Oh, Colin, you're the best! 415 00:38:05,003 --> 00:38:07,323 It's all right. I was passing anyway. 416 00:38:10,963 --> 00:38:12,923 I'd better be getting on. Yeah. 417 00:38:16,603 --> 00:38:18,883 Why don't you just ask her out? 418 00:38:18,883 --> 00:38:21,683 I've, er, actually written her a note. 419 00:38:21,683 --> 00:38:24,443 Great. Just what every grown woman wants. 420 00:38:24,443 --> 00:38:27,043 Follow it up by pulling her pigtails and telling her she smells 421 00:38:27,043 --> 00:38:28,483 and you're golden. 422 00:38:28,483 --> 00:38:31,483 Love might have been in the air for Colin, 423 00:38:31,483 --> 00:38:33,043 but, for Arthur Lake, 424 00:38:33,043 --> 00:38:35,203 it was quite the opposite. 425 00:38:35,203 --> 00:38:39,243 As he sat there lost in a haze of pain and sadness, 426 00:38:39,243 --> 00:38:42,283 the last thing he needed to hear was the words... 427 00:38:42,283 --> 00:38:45,083 ECHOING: You all right, buddy? 428 00:38:46,963 --> 00:38:48,483 Buddy? 429 00:38:51,003 --> 00:38:53,603 Who are you? Ben. 430 00:38:53,603 --> 00:38:56,843 You don't know me. Or my name. Clearly. 431 00:38:56,843 --> 00:38:59,043 I just wanted to say how sorry I was about what happened 432 00:38:59,043 --> 00:39:00,603 to your life-partner. 433 00:39:00,603 --> 00:39:03,123 I really am sorry, buddy. 434 00:39:03,123 --> 00:39:05,923 It's all right if I call you buddy, isn't it? 435 00:39:05,923 --> 00:39:08,163 He seemed nice. 436 00:39:08,163 --> 00:39:11,403 I'm not that way inclined, you know, but if I were, I'd be interested. 437 00:39:12,563 --> 00:39:15,203 He probably wouldn't be interested in me anyway, would he? 438 00:39:15,203 --> 00:39:16,683 I wonder who would. 439 00:39:16,683 --> 00:39:18,723 Ian, maybe. 440 00:39:18,723 --> 00:39:20,163 Do you know Ian? 441 00:39:25,123 --> 00:39:27,163 Arthur... Come on. 442 00:39:30,323 --> 00:39:31,683 How are you doing? 443 00:39:31,683 --> 00:39:33,363 As you'd expect. 444 00:39:33,363 --> 00:39:35,603 I know you'd rather be anywhere but here right now, 445 00:39:35,603 --> 00:39:37,163 only something's come up. 446 00:39:37,163 --> 00:39:38,683 How do you mean? 447 00:39:38,683 --> 00:39:41,363 Mark took a unit boat out onto the water, 448 00:39:41,363 --> 00:39:44,243 but the case number he assigned to it... 449 00:39:44,243 --> 00:39:45,483 It doesn't exist. 450 00:39:47,123 --> 00:39:49,363 Sorry, I don't... Erm... 451 00:39:49,363 --> 00:39:50,603 What are you asking me? 452 00:39:50,603 --> 00:39:55,003 He takes a police vessel out into the ocean - at night, on his own. 453 00:39:55,003 --> 00:39:57,483 Next thing we know, we find him in that fishing boat 454 00:39:57,483 --> 00:39:59,723 with an as yet unidentified body. 455 00:39:59,723 --> 00:40:01,683 Are you saying he was on the take? 456 00:40:02,723 --> 00:40:05,163 Because if you are, sir, that's some fucking bollocks. 457 00:40:05,163 --> 00:40:07,763 Not here, lad. In my office. I'm fine where I am, thanks. 458 00:40:07,763 --> 00:40:10,083 We're just trying to piece things together, that's all. 459 00:40:10,083 --> 00:40:11,963 I fucking loved him! 460 00:40:11,963 --> 00:40:14,283 So don't you dare stand there and make out like 461 00:40:14,283 --> 00:40:16,083 him being killed was somehow his fault! 462 00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:17,283 Mark was a good officer. 463 00:40:17,283 --> 00:40:19,403 The whole force has suffered a loss today. 464 00:40:19,403 --> 00:40:21,003 HE CHUCKLES SARDONICALLY 465 00:40:21,003 --> 00:40:22,243 Nice eulogy. 466 00:40:22,243 --> 00:40:25,443 You going to bury his reputation alongside his fucking corpse? 467 00:40:49,003 --> 00:40:50,923 Nice and easy. 468 00:40:50,923 --> 00:40:52,603 Good boy. 469 00:40:52,603 --> 00:40:55,523 I'm not doing rock, paper, scissors. 470 00:40:55,523 --> 00:40:56,723 Why? 471 00:40:56,723 --> 00:40:58,043 Cos it's stupid. 472 00:40:58,043 --> 00:40:59,883 And we've got pubes now, that's why. 473 00:41:01,003 --> 00:41:04,243 Well, how about foot, cockroach, nuclear bomb? 474 00:41:05,843 --> 00:41:07,643 What the fuck is that? 475 00:41:07,643 --> 00:41:09,563 Well, it's basically rock, paper, scissors. 476 00:41:09,563 --> 00:41:12,443 Oh, for fuck's sake. No, I'm not doing it. 477 00:41:12,443 --> 00:41:14,043 All right, Ron, answer me this. 478 00:41:15,003 --> 00:41:17,323 How many times did you fail your driving test? 479 00:41:19,283 --> 00:41:21,123 Twice. 480 00:41:21,123 --> 00:41:22,443 Three times. 481 00:41:22,443 --> 00:41:24,083 Fucked up the three-point turn. 482 00:41:24,083 --> 00:41:25,403 Well, there you go. 483 00:41:25,403 --> 00:41:27,243 You're driving this time. 484 00:41:27,243 --> 00:41:28,723 Oh, and do me a favour, 485 00:41:28,723 --> 00:41:30,963 have a little think about what we're going to eat later. 486 00:41:30,963 --> 00:41:33,763 This place I drew the map on looks lovely. 487 00:41:35,163 --> 00:41:37,323 20% voucher off and all, eh? 488 00:41:37,323 --> 00:41:38,683 THEY LAUGH 489 00:41:38,683 --> 00:41:40,283 You know it makes sense. 490 00:41:45,043 --> 00:41:46,523 Right, let's do it. 491 00:42:21,923 --> 00:42:24,563 PACKET RUSTLES 492 00:42:24,563 --> 00:42:26,123 HE MUNCHES 493 00:42:26,123 --> 00:42:27,163 PHONE RINGS 494 00:42:29,123 --> 00:42:30,483 Hmm... 495 00:42:32,403 --> 00:42:35,403 PACKET RUSTLES 496 00:42:41,123 --> 00:42:42,723 SHOTGUN COCKS 497 00:42:49,563 --> 00:42:51,683 ENTRY SYSTEM BUZZES 498 00:42:54,723 --> 00:42:58,163 SCREAMING AND GUNFIRE 499 00:43:05,283 --> 00:43:07,723 GUNFIRE CONTINUES 500 00:43:15,323 --> 00:43:19,003 SHOUTING AND SCREAMING 501 00:43:20,963 --> 00:43:23,643 SHRIEK, GUNSHOT 502 00:43:26,283 --> 00:43:29,203 NOISE ECHOES 503 00:43:33,603 --> 00:43:35,683 Please, no... 504 00:43:33,603 --> 00:43:35,683 GUNSHOT 505 00:43:38,203 --> 00:43:39,603 Please... Plea-... 506 00:43:41,363 --> 00:43:42,483 SHOTGUN COCKS 507 00:43:52,083 --> 00:43:55,163 HE STRAINS 508 00:44:04,363 --> 00:44:06,923 TINY SQUEAK 509 00:44:26,283 --> 00:44:28,563 HE BREATHES HEAVILY 510 00:44:41,643 --> 00:44:43,923 WHISPERS: Get down, get down... 511 00:44:54,843 --> 00:44:58,003 Read it when this is done, would you? Sh. 512 00:44:58,003 --> 00:44:59,883 DOOR OPENS 513 00:45:30,203 --> 00:45:31,803 WHISPERS: No, no. 514 00:45:47,043 --> 00:45:48,683 SHE SCREAMS 515 00:45:54,563 --> 00:45:56,003 Stand up. 516 00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:01,603 Where's the evidence locker? 517 00:46:01,603 --> 00:46:05,043 It says it should fucking be here, now where is it? 518 00:46:14,803 --> 00:46:17,123 I think it's the wrong way round. 519 00:46:20,883 --> 00:46:22,843 Ah... 520 00:46:22,843 --> 00:46:24,563 HE LAUGHS 521 00:46:25,763 --> 00:46:27,243 Cheers. 522 00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:28,563 GUNSHOT 523 00:46:33,603 --> 00:46:35,523 HE EXHALES 524 00:46:38,683 --> 00:46:41,043 PHONE LINE BLEEPS 525 00:46:57,083 --> 00:46:59,563 Wrong fucking floor. Basement. 526 00:47:04,043 --> 00:47:05,523 ENTRY PAD BEEPS 527 00:47:12,683 --> 00:47:14,203 ENTRY PAD BEEPS 528 00:47:25,363 --> 00:47:27,003 No, no, no. 529 00:47:28,563 --> 00:47:29,923 It's not here. 530 00:47:31,043 --> 00:47:32,523 It's fucking not here. 531 00:47:40,003 --> 00:47:42,363 ENGINE STARTS 532 00:48:14,963 --> 00:48:16,963 PHONE PINGS 533 00:48:27,683 --> 00:48:30,043 It were just a friend. 534 00:48:30,043 --> 00:48:32,083 PHONE PINGS 535 00:48:34,523 --> 00:48:38,923 Oh! Get two-for-one with a fax machine there, did you? 536 00:48:38,923 --> 00:48:40,123 No. 537 00:48:41,243 --> 00:48:44,243 It's so I don't have a 24-hour casino in my pocket. 538 00:48:44,243 --> 00:48:45,683 Ah, sorry. 539 00:48:47,403 --> 00:48:49,723 Ah, OK... 540 00:48:55,523 --> 00:48:57,043 Why are you looking at me like that? 541 00:48:57,043 --> 00:48:59,883 Because I am wondering why you agreed to do something like this. 542 00:48:59,883 --> 00:49:01,443 Cos you're so persuasive. 543 00:49:04,203 --> 00:49:05,683 Let me tell you something. 544 00:49:07,563 --> 00:49:08,763 You know my secrets... 545 00:49:10,043 --> 00:49:11,603 ..all of them. Fucking hell. 546 00:49:11,603 --> 00:49:13,163 HE LAUGHS 547 00:49:13,163 --> 00:49:15,403 You're the only person in the world who does. 548 00:49:18,523 --> 00:49:20,043 I reckon this is a safe space. 549 00:49:21,923 --> 00:49:22,963 OK. 550 00:49:24,643 --> 00:49:26,883 That weren't me friend that texted earlier. 551 00:49:26,883 --> 00:49:28,443 It were me ex, Peter. 552 00:49:28,443 --> 00:49:32,003 Cos I accidentally, on purpose - 553 00:49:32,003 --> 00:49:34,003 - very on-purpose - bumped into our boy 554 00:49:34,003 --> 00:49:36,563 the other day and he mentioned a restraining order again. 555 00:49:36,563 --> 00:49:38,523 A restraining order? That's your son, isn't it? 556 00:49:38,523 --> 00:49:40,963 He's not, actually. I mean, he is. 557 00:49:40,963 --> 00:49:42,923 He were just a baby when I met his dad. 558 00:49:42,923 --> 00:49:46,163 His mum had buggered off and then suddenly there I were. 559 00:49:46,163 --> 00:49:48,403 Not a bloody clue what I were doing. 560 00:49:48,403 --> 00:49:50,523 And I bloody loved it, every minute. 561 00:49:52,043 --> 00:49:54,963 Anyway, Peter, he met a younger model 562 00:49:54,963 --> 00:49:57,283 who were hard for Jesus, so that were that. 563 00:49:57,283 --> 00:49:59,963 So, now I can't see him any more. 564 00:49:59,963 --> 00:50:02,403 So, from being a mum to being... 565 00:50:05,443 --> 00:50:06,923 ..numb, I suppose. 566 00:50:06,923 --> 00:50:08,763 Yeah, like I never fucking existed. 567 00:50:11,283 --> 00:50:13,243 That's shit. Sorry. 568 00:50:14,963 --> 00:50:17,083 Oh, fucking hell. 569 00:50:24,203 --> 00:50:26,323 Can I... Can I show you something? 570 00:50:31,843 --> 00:50:34,123 So, this is...yours? 571 00:50:34,123 --> 00:50:36,323 It's the last painting I sold. 572 00:50:36,323 --> 00:50:38,323 It's beautiful. 573 00:50:38,323 --> 00:50:40,163 Yeah, at least I kept the hand I paint with. 574 00:50:40,163 --> 00:50:41,843 No, I mean it. 575 00:50:41,843 --> 00:50:43,723 You have real talent. 576 00:50:43,723 --> 00:50:45,283 Shades of Demuth... 577 00:50:47,603 --> 00:50:50,043 Charles Demuth. 578 00:50:47,603 --> 00:50:50,043 TANNOY CHIMES 579 00:50:50,043 --> 00:50:51,363 OK... 580 00:50:51,363 --> 00:50:53,483 ANNOUNCEMENT: Attention, all shoppers, 581 00:50:53,483 --> 00:50:57,603 Tinley Shopping Centre will close today at 4pm due to an incident... 582 00:50:57,603 --> 00:51:00,683 Yep. Years of effort and if you're lucky, 583 00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:02,963 maybe you get a spot in the Tinley Centre. 584 00:51:05,243 --> 00:51:07,163 Why'd you bring me here? 585 00:51:07,163 --> 00:51:12,563 Sometimes I come here and I pretend like I'm in some art gallery 586 00:51:12,563 --> 00:51:15,723 and it's like I'm in some alternate reality 587 00:51:15,723 --> 00:51:18,643 where I'm not the unluckiest person in the world. 588 00:51:21,923 --> 00:51:23,803 So why did...? 589 00:51:23,803 --> 00:51:25,603 You asked me 590 00:51:25,603 --> 00:51:27,643 why I agreed to do this, right? Mm-hm. 591 00:51:29,683 --> 00:51:31,923 Cos everything I thought I had - 592 00:51:31,923 --> 00:51:34,603 my future, me... Me fucking fingers, 593 00:51:34,603 --> 00:51:36,323 and me boy - 594 00:51:36,323 --> 00:51:38,243 it's all nothing. 595 00:51:38,243 --> 00:51:40,803 And I am... I am done with nothing. 596 00:51:40,803 --> 00:51:42,083 And you need to know that. 597 00:51:43,243 --> 00:51:45,563 Do not fuck me over on this. 598 00:51:46,683 --> 00:51:49,523 Do not fuck me over on this, please. 599 00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:52,003 MOBILE RINGS 600 00:51:56,683 --> 00:51:58,043 You OK, love? 601 00:51:58,043 --> 00:51:59,763 He hasn't told you anything, has he? 602 00:51:59,763 --> 00:52:01,363 Who? Oh, your dad? 603 00:52:01,363 --> 00:52:04,243 No, no, apart from where I can stick it. Why? 604 00:52:04,243 --> 00:52:06,923 It's just, it feels like there's something going on. 605 00:52:08,363 --> 00:52:10,803 Like, afoot, you might even say. 606 00:52:10,803 --> 00:52:15,563 Dad and Suzie, they keep going quiet whenever I come into a room like... 607 00:52:15,563 --> 00:52:17,243 Got to go. He's coming back. 608 00:52:18,283 --> 00:52:20,883 Alan. Alan? 609 00:52:20,883 --> 00:52:23,003 Fuck's sake. 610 00:52:20,883 --> 00:52:23,003 SHE TUTS 611 00:52:26,403 --> 00:52:28,963 Well, we should probably, er, call it a night 612 00:52:28,963 --> 00:52:31,963 before your cat takes out a second mortgage. 613 00:52:31,963 --> 00:52:33,843 Yes, yes, yes. 614 00:52:35,363 --> 00:52:37,563 The family will be wondering where I got to. 615 00:52:40,923 --> 00:52:43,123 So, erm, all right. 616 00:52:43,123 --> 00:52:44,523 Well, then, erm, yeah. 617 00:52:44,523 --> 00:52:46,443 I'll... I'll... 618 00:52:46,443 --> 00:52:48,763 I'll be in touch. Oh... 619 00:52:52,163 --> 00:52:54,163 Right, leave it to the one with one hand. 620 00:52:54,163 --> 00:52:56,603 Actually, I can't just go and pretend it's been a normal day. 621 00:52:56,603 --> 00:52:58,043 I'm going to go and drink some more. 622 00:52:58,043 --> 00:53:01,123 So, despite what you said, you are welcome to come and join me. 623 00:53:03,563 --> 00:53:07,483 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS 624 00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:16,083 Let's leave Janet and Samuel doing karaoke... 625 00:53:17,043 --> 00:53:19,683 ..and go find Arthur running 626 00:53:19,683 --> 00:53:21,923 away from grief 627 00:53:19,683 --> 00:53:21,923 PHONE RINGS 628 00:53:21,923 --> 00:53:25,083 and towards a whole new set of problems. 629 00:53:29,043 --> 00:53:31,283 Look, whatever you're selling, piss off, all right? 630 00:53:31,283 --> 00:53:33,243 I'm not selling anything, Mr Lake. 631 00:53:33,243 --> 00:53:34,923 How are you? 632 00:53:36,003 --> 00:53:37,203 Who's this? 633 00:53:37,203 --> 00:53:39,043 Le Tailleur. 634 00:53:39,043 --> 00:53:41,883 The Tailor, like you would say. 635 00:53:41,883 --> 00:53:45,963 But, like most things, it sounds better in French. 636 00:53:45,963 --> 00:53:48,883 We haven't met, but you have something of mine, I think. 637 00:53:49,923 --> 00:53:52,043 I don't know what you're talking about. 638 00:53:52,043 --> 00:53:54,083 The boat was found, and two bodies - 639 00:53:54,083 --> 00:53:55,723 my associate, your partner, 640 00:53:55,723 --> 00:53:57,843 and the boat's cargo is gone. 641 00:53:57,843 --> 00:54:00,083 My people checked the police evidence room. 642 00:54:00,083 --> 00:54:01,683 I've done my work, you see. 643 00:54:01,683 --> 00:54:04,283 You were working together to steal from me. 644 00:54:04,283 --> 00:54:06,163 Mate, I don't know who the fuck you are 645 00:54:06,163 --> 00:54:09,043 or what the fuck you are talking about, all right? 646 00:54:09,043 --> 00:54:11,843 Don't. Please. 647 00:54:11,843 --> 00:54:14,483 Another shipment of mine was taken six weeks ago. 648 00:54:14,483 --> 00:54:16,123 Two men in police uniform. 649 00:54:16,123 --> 00:54:18,603 Now, one, I can shrug it off - 650 00:54:18,603 --> 00:54:21,163 bad luck, the cost of doing business - 651 00:54:21,163 --> 00:54:23,203 but two...? Get fucked. 652 00:54:25,443 --> 00:54:29,523 I believe appearances are very important, 653 00:54:29,523 --> 00:54:31,923 no matter what your business. 654 00:54:31,923 --> 00:54:36,763 Perception is no mere superficial concern, it is everything. 655 00:54:36,763 --> 00:54:39,403 And the perception of my organisation, 656 00:54:39,403 --> 00:54:41,803 to lose two shipments... 657 00:54:41,803 --> 00:54:43,443 You see my problem? 658 00:54:43,443 --> 00:54:46,803 Seems to me you've got another problem, pal. 659 00:54:47,963 --> 00:54:49,363 You've got to find me first. 660 00:54:55,243 --> 00:54:58,203 # Ground Control to Major Tom... # 661 00:54:58,203 --> 00:55:01,003 He claimed not to know anything. 662 00:55:01,003 --> 00:55:04,083 So, I have a journey to make. 663 00:55:05,843 --> 00:55:08,123 No, no, I'm looking forward to it. 664 00:55:08,123 --> 00:55:11,083 It's good to get out of the house once in a while. 665 00:55:11,083 --> 00:55:13,243 The thing about stories is, 666 00:55:13,243 --> 00:55:16,003 it's they can take you anywhere. 667 00:55:16,003 --> 00:55:20,283 To well-paid mass murderers in search of 20% discounts... 668 00:55:22,363 --> 00:55:24,963 ..to the places that we thought were gone 669 00:55:24,963 --> 00:55:26,563 and maybe lost forever. 670 00:55:28,643 --> 00:55:33,403 Fairy tales about frogs being kissed that needed an ending... 671 00:55:36,363 --> 00:55:38,763 ..to a boy playing an instrument 672 00:55:38,763 --> 00:55:41,803 thinking about the mother he wishes could be his mother. 673 00:55:45,563 --> 00:55:50,323 # This is Ground Control to Major Tom 674 00:55:50,323 --> 00:55:54,123 # You've really made the grade 675 00:55:55,403 --> 00:56:00,603 # And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear 676 00:56:02,363 --> 00:56:08,123 # Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare... # 677 00:56:08,123 --> 00:56:11,163 I will find the money and hang them from the sky. 678 00:56:11,163 --> 00:56:12,363 When I'm done... 679 00:56:14,123 --> 00:56:16,123 ..there will be nothing left. 680 00:56:20,083 --> 00:56:23,563 Yes, stories can take us anywhere, 681 00:56:23,563 --> 00:56:26,003 sometimes even back to the beginning, 682 00:56:26,003 --> 00:56:29,043 or the end, depending on how you look at it. 683 00:56:43,163 --> 00:56:44,963 I'll give you a fiver to touch it. 684 00:56:44,963 --> 00:56:46,443 You reckon we should tell someone? 685 00:56:46,443 --> 00:56:48,243 MAN: Oi!