This programme contains graphic violent scenes,
scenes which some viewers may find upsetting
and strong language from the start.
NARRATOR: Remember Janet?
SHE SCREAMS
Remember this? And remember, she's got a new hand now.
And she used to live with this guy and raised his son like her own.
Only now they broke up and she is not allowed to see him any more,
which is shit. That's shit.
Oh, and Alan thinks his dad is hiding something from him.
Anyway, Janet met a guy called Samuel on the beach
and they found this. And Samuel said...
I think I know someone who'd give us a lot of money for this.
And Janet was like...
Where would we keep it?
But as Samuel left the beach, someone was watching.
SHOP DOOR BELL TINKLES
Meanwhile, the mysterious tailor wanted to know...
So he sent his men to search the police evidence room.
RAPID GUNFIRE
They didn't find nothing.
Even left some evidence of their own behind.
We also met a police officer called Arthur...
And The Tailor reckoned...
You have something of mine, I think.
And Arthur went... You gotta find me first.
Then the last thing that happened was this.
And hell knows what that was about.
Anyway, let's get started, shall we?
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Jesus.
Not quite.
Although they do say He works in mysterious ways.
Why aren't you calling the police?
Do you want me to?
Why would we not?
That's what I'm asking.
It's a question.
I know it's a question.
DRAMATIC MUSICAL CUE
Look at him.
He can smell it now -
the alluring stink of opportunity.
What is it people call it? Right -
the horns of a dilemma.
But...I know what's right.
I know what I need to ask him.
I need to turn to him and I need to say - we can't just keep it.
'Ere. I've found it. It's not some five-pound note...
Wow!
Wow indeed.
I'm gonna just wait... No. Stick around.
You might learn something.
Sit down.
Filled with treats and surprises.
My future's in that box.
Our future, Janet.
Let's take it.
Very well.
Whatever lies before us,
whatever fate has in store, we must remember this...
DRAMATIC MUSICAL CUE
..we made our bed, Samuel.
And we...
..must lie in it.
In it, we must lie.
Yeah.
DARK MUSIC PLAYS
NARRATOR: If the world's a stage and we are merely players,
remember that whatever the game, some players always feel left out.
Cheers. Sorry.
Like they just don't fit in.
I think that's everything. Thanks. No wozza.
Oh, boss asked to see you.
Said he wants you on this.
Me? You serious?
That's what he said.
This is what it feels like to be seen, Jenny.
Jesus.
Anything you want me to do, Sir, you tell me, I'm ready.
The media are leaving their shit everywhere.
It's starting to look like Glastonbury. I want you to tidy up.
Get yourself one of them grabber things.
Oh, right. It's just I thought you might want me on the case.
This is the biggest and most horrific thing ever to happen
in this town.
We have every department up and down the country offering
every resource they have.
Why on earth would I ask you?
OK.
LIGHT SNORING
WAKE UP BOO! PLAYS ON RADIO
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Janet was waking up,
and remembering what she'd done the day before.
And I'm not talking about the karaoke.
SHE MUTTERS UNDER HER BREATH
Oh... Er...
Keys.
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
Hey.
Hiya.
Hey, psst.
Hiya. Hi.
Feels like we're spies always meeting like this.
Of course we are spies, Agent Kalashnikov, from Russia.
Go Putin...
Don't you think it's time to retire the old Russian spy thing?
Yo know, world events and all.
Net!
Sorry.
Are you all right?
You got me worried when you called yesterday about your dad.
I don't know. Probably nothing.
It's just sometimes it feels like there's something always
up with him.
Right. I shall leave you here.
Don't want the teachers telling on me again.
RADIO COMMS
Crikey...
You all right?
There's an awful lot of police around today
with guns and all.
Didn't you see the news?
What's in the news?
Morning, wanker!
They're playing my song.
See you tomorrow? Of course, yeah.
Love you. Ditto.
Oh, my God.
PHONE RINGS
Yeah? Have you forgotten? What?
We're meeting my ex-client in prison,
I told you last night after
I'd Do Anything For Love, open-brackets,
But I Won't Do That, close-brackets.
Oh, right, yeah. No, sorry. Sorry, yeah, I forgot.
CELL DOOR CLATTERS
BUZZER
And that. What, my hand? Aye.
Oh, my... Come on.
Oh, that's a shame, I'd popped a little bomb in that.
Oh, well.
Hell of a coincidence, don't you think?
What are you talking about?
The shooting. What do you think I'm talking about?
Nothing happens in this place for hundreds of years and then...
You don't think... No.
Headlines said two gunmen.
Nothing about a boatload of cocaine.
Nothing about...
Last time I saw you, I was having 20 years of my life surgically
removed from me by Judge Fannyblaster.
How you been, Craig?
Not on the clock now, am I? Rates you charge... No. No.
It's not about you. It's...
We need...your advice.
Janet and I, we found something...
Janet, was it?
Janet, this is nothing personal, but I don't know you from Eve.
Whatever it is you wanna ask, mate, I'd prefer to keep it between us.
Where am I supposed to go?
You could get us some snacks?
Snacks...
Fuck's sake.
Brilliant.
COINS JINGLE, KEYPAD BEEPS
MACHINE WHIRS
SHE BASHES MACHINE
STAGE WHISPERS: The machine's broken.
Sorry, but I chose something and then it just...
Oh, it's...
It fell down while you were coming.
Who the fuck chooses a Bounty?
It's the only thing they had left.
So, do you know anyone who would buy it?
Wait, I thought he was gonna...
Bollocks, no!
That shit's what put me in this place in the first place.
I'm out in three months, and I've done enough time to realise
that doing any more time is a waste of time.
Time that could be spent in the theatre.
A real, actual theatre.
Proper lights, a fancy green room,
male-female cast...
We need to sell it...yesterday.
I'll make it worth your while.
You better tread careful, you two.
Or you're going to end up...
Oh, right, yeah.
Very clever.
But it also makes you think.
Plea... Please. Just...ask around.
This monster of a haul you say you've got - it belongs to someone.
And they're gonna be wanting it back.
You've started digging a big old hole, you two.
Better make sure it's big enough to fit two coffins.
SEAGULLS CRY
It's good to see you, boss. How was your journey?
Save your pleasantries.
If you did your job, I wouldn't have to be here.
This is where the boat was found?
Washed up right there.
Listen, that copper you spoke to, Arthur Lake,
he's gone to ground, but we will find him.
And we will get this shit back, I'm telling you. It's all in hand.
I'm hungry.
Look, you gotta trust me on this.
What can I eat?
Uh, depends what you're looking for, really.
I've got some lovely pasties...
Oh, pastries?
Pasties.
Pastries?
Pasties.
Pastries?
Pasties.
I don't understand. I'm sorry.
You've never seen a pasty before? I cannot say I have.
Oh, when in Rome, love...
Is it always so cold?
No.
Sometimes it's colder.
Really? Ta.
NARRATOR: And then it struck him...
Oh, mon dieu.
It's like croissant with meat inside!
I'm glad you like it!
You say everything is in hand,
and yet you went into that police station with an iron fist.
Did I ask you to make headlines?
Well, you wanted answers.
And we had to get up here from London.
And to be honest with you, we can't afford to fuck around.
Do you remember Edward?
One more mistake, you will end up like him.
You understand?
I will gut you. Yeah, yeah.
I understand.
If you do not now, then you will.
It's good. Try one.
PHONE LINE RINGS
Come on, man, pick up!
Pick up.
# Monkey, Mr Monkey, Mr, Mr Monkey
# Mr Monkey, Mr Monkey, Mr, Mr Monkey, Monkey... #
PHONE LINE CONTINUES TO RING
Hey, pack it in a sec.
Oh, voice-call!
Greg. Old-school, mister. Me likey!
Jesus, thank Christ. Where you bloody been?!
I'm in t'car, actually, with t'fam. Say, "Hi, Uncle Arthur."
Hi, Uncle Arthur! Hi, Uncle Arthur! Hiya, kids. Hiya.
We've been to Monkey World! Listen to me.
I just need to speak to your dad about something, all right?
Nathan crushed it in footie this morning, didn't you, mate? Yeah.
That's great, mate.
But, listen...I really need to speak to your dad about somet...
And Cassie's dance, just flipping sublime, honestly.
Got to see t'video. There's this bit where she'll kick...
Just take me off the fucki-...
Just take me off the speaker.
I'm not supposed to drive holding my phone.
Right. I'm sorry. It's instant points.
I need money.
Yeah, someone, er... Fuckin' 'ell.
There's someone's after me.
What do you... What do you mean after you?
Cassie, don't do that to your brother.
I can't explain right now
but I am knee-deep in a world of fucking shit.
Now, I've been a good big brother, haven't I?
I've looked out for you, and that. Now I need your help. Please.
I've emptied my accounts but I can't use a credit card, so...
So whatever you've got.
What have you done? Look, I'll erm...
I'll text you t'address, yeah? All right.
Just hurry up, yeah?
All right, see you in a bit. Bye.
You OK?
# Mr Monkey, Monkey, Mr Monkey, Mr, Mr Mon-... #
Right now in a room somewhere is an actual boatload of cocaine
and these two are sitting on it.
But I'm keeping my distance, Andy, mate.
It's all about the mise en scene now.
Amen, brother.
I'm not going to be able to sleep a bloody wink tonight.
Big day, tomorrow. The biggest.
It's a second chance for me, mate, to do the things I want to do.
Exercise, reading, charity work, just being in nature,
doing things for others.
For the first time in my life, Craig, I'm really excited.
Life begins.
It's me 2.0.
UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS
I need a gram, Vinnie, maybe two.
I tried going straight, I have, I tried so hard to do life proper.
You been out two days.
It seemed much longer.
Have you forgotten before you went away, you owed me?
Fuck, you owed me.
I know...
I can make it up to you.
My cellmate at Slimpton, Craig Dodds,
he heard about a couple of people selling.
You always talked about next level, yeah, well, these two,
what they have got, it's next level.
Thing is, I want to go in with you, like, be a partner, like.
Cos if I'm gonna go straight, I'm gonna, like, need money
and stuff, you know What do you say? You and me.
Shhhh...
Come on, let's talk in the barn, eh?
Eh?
NARRATOR: Now, there are a lot of bad people in this world.
Thing is, Andy, you still owe me.
And you just gave me Craig's name and where to reach him.
So why the bollocks would I give you a fucking bean, mate?
And Vinnie was one of them...
ANDY CRIES OUT
No! No! No! Please!
Tie his legs! Tie his legs!
No! No, please! Help!
Shhhh...
You ain't got the cash to pay me, so I got another idea.
You ever seen them pinatas, Andy, eh?
They beat those bastards till the treasure inside falls out.
No! No!
No! Get me down!
Shall we see what falls out, Andy?
NARRATOR: Yeah, he was a real son of a bitch.
PHONE RINGS
Samuel. It's Craig.
Forgive the hour, but there's never a convenient time
to take the mobile out my arsehole.
Yeah. Right. Hi. I got a call.
Fella named Vinnie Douglas, he wants to meet you.
He wants to buy it? Oh, yeah.
But you should know, this Vinnie put the bloke who told him
about you in hospital.
You have been warned.
Now, if I send you his number, I want something in return.
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure. What is it you want? 10%? 20%?
No. Life rights.
What now?
Life rights.
I'm a storyteller, mate.
And there's a story here worth telling.
Long as Vinnie doesn't just kill you after you hand over the drugs.
Couldn't even get a two-parter out of that.
I'll text you Vinnie's number when I can.
Not bad! Next up.
Oi, wanker!
Dodge this, you twat!
ARROW SWISHES AND THUNKS
Ah! Ah!
Shit, I didn't mean to hit him.
Shit!
Hiya. Erm, Alan... Alan Jeffries. I got a call saying he was here...
Janet! Mike.
Mike Weathers. We went to school together.
Oh. Right, yeah.
We made that model! What was it of again?
I want to say...volcano, but maybe a barge.
I'm actually looking for someone. Sorry.
I can help! I'm a doctor now!
Come on. Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.
Oh there he is..
Love, hiya.
I was so worried.
It's just a scratch, really. Landed between my toes.
Tell you what really hurts - the fact they put the milk in first.
Barbarians, they are.
Are you OK?
Did you not hear me, woman?
Milk. Before the tea! It's madness!
Carts and horses.
IN RUSSIAN ACCENT: I will kill all of them for you. Where are they?
That might be a bit of an inordinate response.
Oh, Janet.
Oh, fuck's sake.
Janet, Janet, Janet.
The school called me!
I'm still down as one of his emergency contacts so...
We have discussed boundaries time and again.
All right, I'm going. I'm going.
I don't want you to... And you're not helping.
She's not your mother, mate.
She looked after me since I were two!
Times change, big man! Eh?
What?
Janet, speaking as a Christian man, I'd rather not involve the courts.
But, speaking as a Christian man, I should probably involve the courts.
All right. OK.
It's all right. It's all right.
I love you.
SHE WHISPERS: Maybe we should have said something.
Not now. I will.
I promise.
Who eats them, right?
You look amazing, by the way.
Oh. Ta very much.
I took the liberty of looking up your number in the hospital file.
I'm not sure you're supposed to do that, are you?
No.
Probably not, no.
PHONE RINGS
Samuel?
So haven't you said anything yet? No.
Funnily enough, I've never done a drug-deal via text before,
I wasn't sure of the protocol. All right, all right, keep your knickers on.
What did your client tell... Ex-client.
What did your ex-client tell you about this Vinnie bloke?
That we should tread carefully.
What does that mean?
He's unpredictable.
Right, we, erm, we need a story. We've got a story.
We were walking along, we found a boatload of drugs...
That's not going to work.
What, are you worried that he's gonna rip us
off if he finds out we're nobodies? Maybe.
Or maybe he decides we're undercover coppers. Shit.
What do you think he'd do to us then? Don't answer that.
We just need to convince him that we're serious players.
Which we're going to do by telling him a story?
Absolutely.
There is nothing more powerful than a good story.
NARRATOR: Like a Boat Story.
We need to find a real outfit -
cartel, whatever -
that we can say we're connected to.
We're branching out into the UK.
Big enough to be serious.
But not so big that...you know, he might have links to someone.
Sinaloa Cartel? One of the biggest cartels in the world.
But if they're the biggest in the world, then isn't there a chance
that Vinnie might've met someone from it?
You should do the talking.
Why? Cos you are a talker. You used to lie for a living.
Well, you'll have to say something. But I am a local. If he's a local...
You're afraid you might know each other.
We don't all know each other, you patronising bastard.
Try an accent. I don't want to. You might have to.
Come on, are there any accents you can do?
Ah, well, I suppose
I've been doing this Russian spy character for Alan
since he were four, I've got quite good...
No, no, Russian drug dealer feels a bit on the nose, doesn't it?
Do you think I look like a drug dealer?
Well, you... You don't NOT look like a drug dealer.
Yeah, I know, but it's like you said, we've got to think of everything.
Like, should I get some fake tattoos and stuff?
No, this isn't about the costume.
It's about...confidence, you know?
Conviction in the story we're telling.
Erm, Vinnie, hi, we represent the Casitano Family...
Nah. Don't believe it.
Why? Sounds made up.
Because it is. I know that.
So why you being so negative?
How about some more, "Yes, and..."
This isn't a fucking game! You think I don't know that?
Urgh.
What's that, then?
Why are you showing me a penis?
Cos you asked. It's that doctor from the hospital.
OK. Shall we, er...? Sorry...
Just...all I can see is dick.
What about this?
What? OK, er...
Granted - they are known for
decapitating the people that cross them... Decapitating!?
But just bear with me.
They're an Albanian operation who buy from South America
but who sell throughout most of Europe.
But they're structured differently from most cartels.
Cos they're so obsessed with anonymity,
no one part of the operation knows too much about the rest...
Like a terrorist cell. Or a relationship.
They're called the Kosovar Group. Not too interesting-sounding.
It's very matter of fact. What else does it say?
There's very little, y'know...
Couple of arrests, but no-one's ever turned on the higher-ups
because they just don't know who they are.
OK. OK, then.
That's done.
What do...? What do you mean, it's done?
What...? I just told you.
I texted Vinnie and told him that we were with the Kosovar Group
and that we wanted to meet. I didn't mean type it. Fuck!
That is the first vaguely passable thing we said!
You agreed that it was... This is my fucking phone and all...
My phone's too old... What is... What is wrong with you?
SHE WHISPERS: Shit.
PHONE CHIMES
A time and a place.
So...we're really doing this.
Right...
Yeah.
Yeah. This is one of those moments that people talk about -
you find out what you're really made of.
Or it's one of those other moments
where you get your fucking head chopped off.
I feel sick.
PHONE RINGS
Hello?
Hi, I'm outside.
All right, I'm coming now.
GUNSHOT
No!
GRUNTING
SQUELCH, HE GROANS
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Shit!
GUNSHOT
Fuck!
PHONE RINGS
Oh, fuck! Fuck!
GUNSHOT
GUNSHOTS RICOCHET
Open the fucking door.
Look, listen to me.
I'm not supposed to kill you but shit happens.
Open the door. Listen, I mean this, or I'm gonna shoot.
I'm gonna count down from three.
And I'm not joking.
Three, two...
All right. All right. ..one!
Aargh. Fucking hell!
You said you'd count to three!
Nobody counts to three. Now move.
# I've never been able to just go to sleep
# It's so much harder now I'm in trouble so deep
# My head is all swirling and twirling with thoughts
# Can I really be happy, or will I get caught?
# Insomnia, where are ya?
# I found ya
# Insomnia, like an orphan in Bosnia
# Insomnia
# But maybe tonight
# I just might
# Close my eyes
# Insomnia, where are ya?
# I found ya
# Insomnia... #
TV: Our thoughts are with the family and friends of all those who have
been a victim of this terrible crime... It's just awful.
So much for God's own country.
Yeah, well, I suppose even God has his off days.
PHONE RINGS AND VIBRATES
Hello? Thought you might pick up off a new number.
Need me to tell you who it is?
No, no, of course, it's er... How are you?
It's been four months. Where's my bloody money?
Yeah, yeah. You said you were gonna get it to me...
Yeah, I am aware of the current situation...
Don't yeah, yeah, yeah me. I need to get an answer...
It's just some old work thing.
I thought we were friends.
I lent you that money because you promised you'd pay me back...
Yes. Yes.
Of course, and, erm, if you could just be a little patient...
Should I call Camilla?
Does she know what's going on here?
She doesn't, does she?
I'm happy to call her.
No, absolutely no need for that.
One week. Really?
A week? I promise.
Please. Just...
OK, I've got something coming up, it's big.
I'll be able to pay off all my debts.
Do I need to remind you what the consequences are if you don't come up with the money?
Yeah, it's going to be great. So exciting. OK, bye, mate! Samuel...
Hey, who's for breakfast?
The most important meal of the day. Come on.
I'm sorry about your brother.
Seeing your own flesh and blood become flesh
and blood before your eyes -
yikes.
But sometimes violence speaks much louder than words, no?
It tells you who I am.
I'm the man responsible for everyone
who died in Applebury Police Station.
The man who had your brother executed before your eyes.
But, really, I'm just a dog looking for his bone.
Have you seen my bone?
Look, I don't know how, but my boyfriend, he, er,
he heard about a boat,
a boat that were coming in
and he were going to take whatever were on board.
But that is all he told me.
Next thing I know, he's dead and then you're calling me
telling me you're coming for me and I say to you...
I was there for that. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.
You were there for that. It's just I'm...
I'm very nervous, you know? I'm very, very nervous.
Uh, the woman who found the boat, she were called Pat Tooh.
She called it in, she must have seen something.
That's what the detective told me.
Pat Tooh.
What did she see?
Look. I don't know!
I could...
I could try and get the report for you.
You know, I'm not, I'm not on the investigation but I could try.
Or, I could speak to her.
They said she lives on, er, fuck...
Hendon Road, above a shop.
But that is all I know.
I swear.
There was another shipment before this one.
Two police officers.
No, that wasn't my boyfriend.
I've got nothing to...
Wait... Please!
Please, you've got to believe me. Look, I never...
Please.
HE RECITES IN FRENCH
What are you on about?
Please. I didn't take anything.
I swear.
MUSIC: Tombe La Neige by Salvatore Adamo
NARRATOR: Now, some people might say The Tailor enjoyed his job,
but he would tell a different story.
It was like any job.
And he just did it to the best of his ability.
Burn the fucker.
OK, sometimes he enjoyed it a bit.
Morning.
You OK?
SHE SIGHS
Couldn't sleep last night.
Isn't that what got us into this mess in the first place?
I just keep thinking about the shooting at the police station.
You can't still think this has anything to do with that.
How could it not?
A boat washes up, and then there's a fucking massacre
all here in Applebury, where nothing ever happens.
There's nothing in the news about any drugs.
Right, so let's... Come on, let's just
get on with it, shall we?
It's all I could find.
Try not to look so anxious.
There's no-one here. Well, there's no-one watching anyway.
People could be dead cos of us.
Do you think people who, er, sell cheeseburgers to fat
kids worry about that?
I mean...
..people will do these drugs with or without us.
It's just human nature.
That's not what I mean.
OK. Say we had handed all this in,
if those gunmen were looking for it,
they'd still have shot up that police station to find it.
Everything's going to be all right.
Based on what exactly? You don't know it'll be all right.
You just hope it will. No, I believe it will.
There's a word for people like you.
Yes. Optimist. No, fantasists.
All right, I get it, shall we just, you know? Yeah.
Next one.
How old's your son? Where did that question come from?
I'm just making conversation.
I'm married to Camilla, well above my station.
Got a daughter called Anya, 16...
You don't fucking stop talking, do you?
Oh, wait.
Night.
What? What is it?
Why are you being... I see it, you know? See what?
I'm not stupid.
Every time we do anything with the stuff,
every time we move it, touch the locks or the door -
you put your gloves on.
You made me pay on my card, you texted Vinnie from my phone...
For Christ's sake. Oh, yeah, stop it.
I can hear your lies already. You're being paranoid.
You asked the other day if I trust you.
I don't.
Wha-...
Go on, then!
Bye.
This is the biggest Major Incident team ever assembled in this country.
We've already allocated every resource available
but we will push for more, of course.
Is there any imminent risk to the public?
This appears to have been an isolated event.
The men targeted this station...
Bollocks.
HE GRUNTS
Oh...
What are you doing round here?
Just cleaning up some rubbish for the boss.
Nothing interesting.
PHONE RINGS
Janet? You've got me all wrong.
7327.
Excuse me?
My lock. The code is 7327.
Come on. Don't be so... No.
My life is one big Groundhog Day of waking up under a fucking lawnmower
and being torn to shit, and this is only making things worse.
So I'm out. Keep it. Do what you want. Just leave me out of it.
Madame Bethune?
NARRATOR: Remember that name.
I beg your pardon?
Forgive me.
You look so familiar.
Are you all right, love?
I apologise.
Yes. You are Pat Tooh.
I believe you found a boat washed up on the shore the other day?
Yes, why?
One of the poor souls there was my son.
Oh... Oh, I am so sorry.
Come on in. Come in, love.
Thank you.
Have a seat.
Can I get you some tea?
Some vino?
No. Thank you.
I can't imagine how you must be feeling.
We did not know each other that well.
Oh.
Still. My son, you know?
Of course.
I'm not sure how I can really help.
I need to know everything.
The police, they said you saw someone near the boat.
But they would say no more.
I made banana bread.
OK.
Would you like some?
No. Thank you.
It's fucking delicious.
OK.
What is it you want with me, Mr...erm...?
Ah...
HE CLEARS THROAT
..Taylor.
You looking to take the law into your own hands?
What would you say if I was?
I would think that was quite...
..refreshing.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Like a cold drink on a warm day!
How is it?
As, erm, advertised.
Told you.
I didn't see much, I'm afraid.
Before I saw the boat, I saw someone on the beach.
Long way off.
But I do remember they were carrying a dog.
A little white dog.
Pomeranian, I think.
And that's all she wrote.
I appreciate your time.
And the bread.
What was your boy called?
HE RECITES IN FRENCH
FRENCH VOICE ECHOES MELLIFLUOUSLY
Alan?
Are you all right?
Is this about school? Did you tell those bastards what happened?
No.
Gosh...
I feel a bit silly now I'm here cos...there's nothing you can do,
is there?
There's nothing either of us can do...
Alan, just go on, tell me. Tell me.
Dad's got a job
in Australia.
That's why they were being weird.
That's why I called you a few nights ago.
You're...
You're moving?
Adelaide, to be exact.
They want him by the end of the month. Fuck.
Sorry. No, no. Sorry.
Those were my thoughts also. When?
End of... End of t'month.
Right. Yeah, you said. It's just...
Fuck.
Sorry. Sorry.
Hey. Long-distance can work.
If you say so.
I'll really miss you, Mum.
Well, we're not fucking done yet, are we? Sorry.
Sorry.
Hey?
DOGS BARK IN DISTANCE
Vinnie?
Vinnie, I'm Lucas, I'm with the Kosovar Group.
As I said on the phone.
I assume you've looked us up and tr...
Don't mean to be rude, buddy, gotta take precautions, yeah?
Just this piece of shit.
Travelling light, is it?
Well, a man in my job can't take any risks.
Now obviously I don't have the stuff on me but if...
Shut the fuck up! Hey, Vin, found this in his car.
Hidden underneath t'seat.
Oh, right mastermind, ain't ya?
What, you just assumed we were fuckin' stupid?
I've come to do business.
I have a lot of product. If you want to buy it, fine.
If not...
Lucas, was it? Yes. Yeah.
Tell me, Lucas from the Kosovar Group, what you doing with
a business card belonging to a lawyer called Samuel Wells?
And a driving licence and all.
Well, I mean, I assume you know the need for a cover...
It keeps talking.
Why's it talking? All right. OK.
My mum was a liar.
I fucking hate liars!
I'm not lying! That's a cover identity, that's all.
You can stay here while I make some calls.
Don't bother worrying about all that
sneaking-out-trying-not-to-wake-me bollocks.
I'm a big girl. I'm not one of them types.
You can come and go as you like, love.
What was it that you said in French when you were about to leave?
It's a song by Salvatore Adamo.
I heard it on the radio
on a very important day of my life.
And, er...
HE EXHALES
Do you still have more of the banana bread?
We finished the lot, love, remember,
when you ravished me on the ottoman?
Oh, yes. Oh, yes, I remember.
But if you're hungry, I own the shop downstairs.
Rodney'll still be there, should be.
Tell him I told you you can have a free pasty.
Pastry?
Pasty. Oh...pasty?
Yes. I know of these.
You own a pastry shop? Aye.
It was very nice meeting you, Patricia.
Just Pat.
It was very nice meeting you, too, love.
This were a bit different, getting a bit of French up in me.
HE HUMS
DOOR CLOSES
Forgive me.
Hiya, Mummy!
I thought you were out tonight.
No, Warhammer's tomorrow night, so, er...
Oh, bloody 'ell.
Yes, your mother has needs.
Shock horror.
You just be glad you didn't walk in ten minutes ago.
PHONE RINGS
Yeah? We are looking for a Pomeranian.
What's that, like, an Italian fella?
It's a dog.
Oh.
Somebody was walking their Pomeranian on that beach.
People are creatures of habit,
they walk their dogs on the same place, no?
So, when they return, somebody will be there.
Yep. Understood.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Vinnie was asking around about Lucas
from Kosovar.
LUCAS: Whatever you're thinking of doing, I would think again.
You've looked up the Kosovar Group. You know that...
No-one I've spoken to knows who the fuck you are.
Why would they know...?
You think this is funny, do ya?
You're a funny fuck, are ya?
I'm gonna give you a smile...
..that goes all the way around!
ENGINE REVS
VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES
RUSSIAN ACCENT: Let him go.
Who the fuck are you?!
He works for me.
What do you want?
Oh...
..it's this one.
Samuel here lied about his name.
He's a lawyer.
He was a lawyer.
Everyone in this business lies about their names
and everyone needs a lawyer. He is mine. Come. Come.
You. Excuse me. This.
Wallet now!
You think a business card is proof of anything?
Then you are amateurs. And I do not work with amateurs.
So that's it, then, is it?
Business does not start like this.
No. No, no, no, not for Kosovar.
No.
Where are you going, Vin...
Calling Katia, she'll know what to do.
He's calling someone.
Just keep bloody walking.
That was brilliant, thank you.
Where'd you get the business card from? I made it.
And the tattoo is a nice touch... Just shut up and drive, will ya?
ENGINE STARTS
Wait, wait!
Don't go!
Oh, fuck, run him over. Run him over.
I can't run him over.
Don't open it.
Please don't open it.
I'm sorry, all right?
I've never done a deal this big before.
Do you believe in fate?
Absolutely.
Me too.
And that's what this is - fate - us meeting.
So let's start again.
I'll name the time and place, you bring the product.
Please. OK, very well.
What the fuck?
NARRATOR: All the world's a stage.
We are merely players.
And sometimes the players get away with all kinds of things.
Because once you realise it's all a show,
nothing's ever quite the same.
Tell him they have over stretched themselves...
Where are you going?
I'll just wait outside. Stay for this bit, at least.
You're gonna love this bit.
That's how it felt when I was talking to her that day.
Because I had pushed things too far.
It would have killed her if she had known this whole time
that I was lying!
That I wasn't just out on the beach that morning walking the dog.
That I knew that boat would be there.
I had planned it.
That everything out of my wretched mouth...
..was a lie.
# Sometimes we lie
# Sometimes we break a heart
# Sometimes we hurt one another
# When we make a brand-new start
# Sometimes we have to believe
# That all the things we achieve
# Can fall away like grains of dust through a sieve
# I'm not a good man
# I'm not a bad man
# I'm not a mad man
I'm just a man man... #