1 00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:06,924 If I was single, and it's cuffing season, 2 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,551 I would definitely try to slide in someone's DM 3 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:13,138 or see if-if my friend has a friend. 4 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,556 Um... 5 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,309 Yeah, I'm not just gonna be by myself in cuffing season. 6 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:20,020 Oh, cuffing season's hunting season, you know? 7 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,981 If, uh, you don't have a significant other already in place, 8 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,650 you go out hunting every weekend. 9 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,818 ♪ Gimme one margarita, I'ma open my legs ♪ 10 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,321 ♪ Gimme two margaritas, I'ma give you some head ♪ 11 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:32,073 ♪ Gimme three margaritas I'ma put it in my puss ♪ 12 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,785 ♪ Gimme four margaritas I'ma put it in my tush ♪ 13 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,120 ♪ Gimme five margaritas, margaritas... ♪ 14 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,623 Thank you! 15 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,625 Um... 16 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,043 Ooh! Let's grab that table over there. 17 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,587 No, no, no, we're gonna stand at the bar and look sexy and approachable. 18 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,589 If men are gonna reject me, I'd much rather be seated. 19 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,091 - You know, set expectations. - Come on! 20 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,384 Plus, this bitch loves to sit! 21 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,219 Great, a dark musty corner. 22 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,763 Sitting is very highly underrated. 23 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,598 If they can see us. 24 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,808 Oh! Hey! 25 00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:00,686 Someone is making eyes at you from the bar. 26 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,438 Oh, no thank you. No, no, no, no. 27 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,731 Do you even wanna meet someone? 28 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:08,110 Of course, I do, you know? 29 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,945 Not only do I need to, like, forget about Rory, 30 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,655 but I need to move on from Alex. 31 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,574 - Yes, you do. - Good. So, we know our goal. 32 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,950 Let us help you get there. 33 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,410 Okay, what you need to know about me 34 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,245 is that because of societal standards, 35 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,122 I'm like... human cilantro. 36 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,791 Seriously! To some guys, I'm like soap, 37 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,376 and the ones that do want me, 38 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,295 they're already up on somebody else's taco. 39 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,255 What about that guy that was flirting with you in class? 40 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,757 Oh, Carlos! Yes, yes, yes, yes, the fruit agent. 41 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,677 No! I already did the work thing, 42 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,387 and it was a certifiable shit show. 43 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,889 But I met Lamar at work. 44 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,974 Wait, why was he at Sephora? Fashion week. 45 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:42,394 When you're a makeup artist, you meet fine-ass models on the reg, 46 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,189 like all day, and, honey, they all check for me. 47 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,816 I hadn't really thought about Carlos like that. 48 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,235 - Well, have you tried him out? - What do you mean? 49 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,112 Oh, I audition all my conquests. 50 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:55,949 I do a dry fantasy run, and if it becomes a wet fantasy run? 51 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,702 I make those dreams come true. 52 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,954 Okay, well, here's to making dreams come... 53 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,459 I'll send you an app to set the mood. Thank me later. 54 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,294 ♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme a beat! ♪ 55 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:11,924 Okay, Allie, let's see what your app can do. 56 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,930 My play premiere was a huge success. 57 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:21,725 I was giddy and tipsy from so many people congratulating me, 58 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,186 and that last glass of Prosecco certainly didn't help. 59 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,438 I sneak backstage to center myself 60 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:28,774 when I see that sexy actor Herman. 61 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:32,903 I'd always heard about understudies having a Star is Born moment. 62 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,113 I should really see that movie again. 63 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,490 The original, not Gaga's. 64 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,659 Hey, girl, stop letting your mind wander. 65 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:42,287 You're supposed to be thinking about Carlos. Now, get to work. 66 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,249 I realized we were alone backstage. 67 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,918 He met my gaze and slowly sauntered over. 68 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,838 I was wondering if, uh, if you can help me. 69 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,006 I got sewed into these pants, 70 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,510 and it's kind of embarrassing, but I can't take them off. 71 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,721 All I wanted to do was rip those pants right off, 72 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,099 but we needed them for tomorrow's performance. 73 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,227 So, I found a pin and knelt in front of him 74 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:08,689 to undo the stitches. I felt flush. 75 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,276 Was it the Prosecco, or was it him? 76 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,656 You're supposed to be Carlos. 77 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,116 You tell him, girl. 78 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,535 This is supposed to be a Carlos fantasy run. 79 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,580 Now help me, help you, and focus. 80 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,831 Where was I? Oh, yes. 81 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,207 The air was electric 82 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,502 as I slowly loosened each stitch on those pants. 83 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,296 I was so close to his Jack in the box, 84 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:35,048 I could tell he was ready to pop right out. 85 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,510 Tonight's performance was over, but I was up for an encore, 86 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,429 and he was definitely up, too. 87 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,931 Careful. That tickles. 88 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,850 Wait, why are we letting him back in? 89 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,810 I just wanna make you happy. 90 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,604 Because I know he can get me there, 91 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,480 and I'm gonna be late for work. 92 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,780 Well, there's some naming drama with the ghost kitchen. 93 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,616 Sir Rise-a-Lot is the front runner, 94 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:03,160 but Kaya wants my new sourdough starter 95 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,703 to be Li'l Yeasty. 96 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,038 That's a good one. 97 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,539 But like, why's it gotta be li'l, you know? 98 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,375 Yeah. Oh, shizz. 99 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,545 I'm out of Mel's hazelnut creamer. 100 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,922 Never mind, I will crush up some-- 101 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,299 No, no, actually, uh, just one coffee for me. 102 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,717 Let's go, let's go. 103 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,304 Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise? 104 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,722 No. 105 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,350 Wheatney Houston, yes. 106 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,685 Hi. 107 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:32,731 As managers, you are the first line of defense against sexual harassment, 108 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:36,735 so it's important to know what constitutes harassment. 109 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:40,030 Well, that can include unwanted sexual advances, 110 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,657 comments about appearance, 111 00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:43,867 catcalling, sexual innuendo. 112 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,744 Having a vivid dream about a coworker? 113 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,330 Pardon me? 114 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,832 Uh... 115 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:54,878 Having a vivid... dream a-about a coworker, 116 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,922 does that-- does that count? 117 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,132 Not if you don't say it out loud. 118 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,301 Noted. 119 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,179 As managers, you will be the eyes and ears of JFK. 120 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,932 And when it comes to romantic relationships in the workplace, 121 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:09,977 it's okay to ask a person out once. 122 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:13,605 But, if they say no, asking them again would be harassment. 123 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,567 What if you've been hanging out with someone, say, for a month and some change, 124 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,653 but you didn't have the DTR convo yet, hypothetically? 125 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,321 I don't know what DTR means. 126 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,323 "Define the relationship." 127 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,159 Best not to shit where you eat. 128 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,244 Pardon my French. 129 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:30,247 As managers, it's best for you 130 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,791 to just disclose any workplace relationship 131 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,586 to the head of HR, so there are no issues if it goes south. 132 00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:39,131 I can tell you that one in three US workers 133 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,049 have or are currently involved 134 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,802 in a romantic workplace relationship, 135 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,470 and the majority of those people, 136 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,223 they did not disclose to their employers. 137 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,267 So, my High Flyers, 138 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,477 the moral of this story is... 139 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,230 disclose, disclose, disclose! 140 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,192 You don't have to do it three times. Just the once will be fine. 141 00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:01,153 The other two times, I did for emphasis. 142 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,037 I found your earrings this morning. 143 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,623 Why are you treating it like it's evidence? 144 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,208 I coulda got it tonight. 145 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,585 Does this mean you'll finally stay at my place? 146 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,588 - No, not with your mama in the next room. - Boy, she don't care. 147 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,841 Besides, she told me to invite you to Thanksgiving. 148 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,552 She can throw it down. 149 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,556 You make it hard to say no. Let me see if I can work out my schedule. 150 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,099 You make the schedule. 151 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:34,937 Oh, um, I disclosed our relationship to HR. 152 00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,231 Wait, why? 153 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,984 You're a manager. You should know that. 154 00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,321 It's part of the sexual harassment seminar. 155 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,697 No, yeah, yeah, you right, you right. 156 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:46,782 - Yeah. - You right. 157 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:49,785 What else did you learn today? 158 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,372 That telling you about the dream I had, 159 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,666 where I handcuffed you... 160 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:59,211 - Oh. - ...is definitely 161 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,547 sexual harassment. 162 00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:04,383 - Ms. Hill, you... - Mm-hmm? 163 00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:06,593 ...are very, very convincing. 164 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:12,391 Why don't you notify HR that I will be coming to yours for Thanksgiving. 165 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,227 - Deal. - Deal. 166 00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:16,979 Tell your mama, too. 167 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,648 - Bye. - Bye. 168 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,989 You know you're amazing, right? 169 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:33,370 Oh yeah, I just... I just want you to be happy. 170 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,455 Frick! 171 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,790 Why are you still here? 172 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,876 You're gonna be late for your pickup. I know. 173 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,919 I'm supposed to be having lunch with Mike. 174 00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,421 He's my suitor from Lost and Found. 175 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,047 Gross. 176 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,842 - I'll take it if you take my Friday night. - Really? Nice! 177 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,218 Nope, we don't do that. 178 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,888 Oh. 179 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,350 Bachelorette in New Orleans. 180 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,978 - Uh-huh. Mm. - Okay, well, one piece of advice. 181 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:01,523 No matter how drunk you get, those beads have no value. 182 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:04,693 Keep your ladies covered. 183 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,486 It's not that type of bachelorette. 184 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,238 Then what kind of bachelorette is it? 185 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:12,034 We're just a bunch of married ladies, in matching PJs, 186 00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:14,203 giving the bride lessons from the battlefield. 187 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:16,413 - Ah. Well, can I come, please? - Uh-huh. 188 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:19,166 Man, I thought I'd have relationships figured out by now, 189 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,668 but I definitely don't. 190 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,713 - Boy problems? - Yeah, it's complicated. 191 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:28,675 I thought I was over my ex, but he is living in my head rent-free. 192 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,178 Mm. Girl, been there. 193 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,347 Yeah, it's like, part of me knows 194 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,767 that I need to make a clean break of it and just move on, 195 00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:39,144 - but it's hard. - Oh, yeah. 196 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:43,106 So hard because we work together every single day. 197 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,399 Clarissa! Julie! 198 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,860 - Julie!? - You made it! 199 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,404 Wild horses and six pins in my ankle 200 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,114 couldn't keep me away! 201 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,201 - Mel, could I talk to you for a second? - Uh-huh. 202 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:57,621 This was supposed to be Patti's pickup. 203 00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:58,914 And now I know why. 204 00:08:58,914 --> 00:08:59,998 So... 205 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,960 me and Julie had a fight last night about our exes at our wedding. 206 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,795 - Mm-hmm. - Uh, and I had to tell her about us. 207 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,630 - Wait, she doesn't know about us? - No, it's not that. 208 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,757 It'd just be great if you could, like, not be here right now. 209 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,676 Yeah, lucky for you, I don't wanna be here. 210 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:11,802 Mel! 211 00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,680 I've heard so much about you. It's nice to finally meet. 212 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,014 Right! It's just... 213 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,227 Uh, Clarissa, 214 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,646 this is Mel. 215 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,898 Wait. You're Mel? 216 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:30,070 You know what? Uh-- I have to pick up a foreign dignitary, 217 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,822 so I'ma get on that and get you seated 218 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:35,325 so you guys can get the show on the road, am I right? 219 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,244 Mm, how does this work? 220 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,829 Attention, passengers. 221 00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:42,457 The terminal is now on lockdown. All flights are grounded, 222 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:45,043 and you cannot leave the terminal until further notice. 223 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:48,422 We appreciate your patience as we work to resolve this situation. 224 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,465 - Thank you. - Shit. 225 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,675 So, we're stuck here? 226 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,219 Mm-hmm. 227 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:57,014 Yeah. Yeah, we are. 228 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,688 Serena! Serena! 229 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,523 All this is unnecessary. 230 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,067 Serena's a wanderer, always has been. She'll wander back soon. 231 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:12,029 I'm sorry, but since you already checked her in as an unaccompanied minor, 232 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,199 she's the airline's responsibility until she's found. 233 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:18,702 Serena! - Now we know why we're on lockdown. 234 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,204 Well, there goes the swamp tour. 235 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:23,040 You know what? I should get to the security office ASAP. 236 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,042 - I'll drive you. - Oh! Okay, great. 237 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,878 No. No, no! Is everything okay? 238 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:30,589 I checked in the luggage that had all the scavenger hunt lists inside, 239 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,840 so I only have this one copy. 240 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,467 Aw, man. Mm. 241 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:36,303 I figured we could do it while we wait, but [sighs] now what? 242 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:39,848 Y-You know what, Yummy? 243 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,683 That is actually solvable. We'll just go to my office 244 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,893 and make some copies. 245 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,895 No, no, you need to do your job, so we can get outta here. 246 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,313 But, maybe Mel could take me. 247 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,606 - Oh, no. - Oh no, she's busy. 248 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,900 - Super busy. Just woo! - It'd be really quick. 249 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,109 Thanks so much! 250 00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:55,239 Alright, bye. 251 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:59,743 Oh, Lord have mercy. 252 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,621 ♪ I've got yo man, and you can't do anything ♪ 253 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,457 So, what's on this scavenger hunt list? 254 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,876 Change shirts with a stranger, get frisked by a cop, 255 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,711 sign a guy's butt. 256 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:13,048 I mean, I don't see how Alex could find these "inappropriate." 257 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,800 Well, he's just probably being protective. 258 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,927 - Yeah, that's what he said. - Mm. 259 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,304 But lucky for him, I like to keep things spicy. 260 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,807 I bet you do. 261 00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:25,269 So, Clarissa tells me you're hung up on some guy at work. 262 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,187 - It's not Alex, is it? - Oh! No, no, no, no. 263 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,356 It's Carlton... Herman. 264 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,691 He's a merman-- model-- mo-- 265 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,192 - He models swimwear. - Oh, okay. 266 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,319 Uh, when he's not doing business, my business, 267 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,238 - he's all up in my business. - Oh! 268 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:38,657 Um, but yeah. Herman is my nickname 269 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,492 for him with my friends, so... 270 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,286 My nickname for Alex is Energizer Bunny. 271 00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:45,247 - Oh. Ah. Ooh! - He could keep going and going... 272 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:47,583 - Did you have a nickname for Alex? - Oh, no, no, no, no. 273 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:50,085 I don't give boyfriends nicknames. 274 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,254 It's just plain old Alex. 275 00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:54,506 Alright, here we go. 276 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,425 Let's get you some copies, alright? 277 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:59,178 ♪ And you can't do anything about it ♪ 278 00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,262 Wait, boyfriend? 279 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,348 I thought it was a little three months, friends with benefits thing. 280 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,726 Nope. [laughs] It was exactly that. Not a big deal. 281 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,644 Yeah, right. Of course not. 282 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,564 Oh, God, no, it's just Alex told me 283 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,566 that you were very clear you didn't want anything more. 284 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,651 No, I didn't, and I don't. 285 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,278 Right. 286 00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:18,447 Look, we're so glad that you're coming to our wedding. 287 00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,282 Alex told me that you're afraid to fly. 288 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:21,909 Yep. 289 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,494 You're such a good friend for doing that. 290 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,664 I hope this lockdown lasts all day too. 291 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,584 Shit, I'm tryna take all y'all money. Oh, yeah, that's my book. 292 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,753 What's this about Tina and Thanksgiving? 293 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,880 - Please tell me you didn't say yes. - It's just dinner! 294 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,591 Aw, y'all cute or whatever. 295 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:40,052 It's not dinner, T, it's Thanksgiving dinner. 296 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,137 That's why they named it! Look, bro, next you know, 297 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,473 she gonna be at your house, every night, bonnet on. 298 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:47,851 Facts. Probably canceling her cable and utilities right now. 299 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,312 Don't pay them no mind. - It's not even that serious. 300 00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,855 We literally just started dating. 301 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,482 Oh, "Just started dating." Like a year ago! 302 00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,192 Okay, okay, let's settle this. 303 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:58,570 Has she left any random shit at your spot? 304 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:01,448 Uh, a pair of earrings, but it was an accident. 305 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,867 Okay, if it was one earring, it would be an accident. 306 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,662 A pair of earrings, she's saying, "Oh, we go together now." 307 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:08,580 Exactly. Bro, what'd I tell you? 308 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,832 These girls are smart! Three stacks. 309 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,376 Wh-What about your earrings? 310 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,795 Do you leave them at home, or you got a place to leave 'em? 311 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:17,130 - What are you doing right now? - I'm trying to hit on her. 312 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:21,009 Bro, why would you say that? - Okay, look, anyway! 313 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,803 If you aren't serious about Tina, 314 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:25,097 you need to break up with her before the holidays. 315 00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:28,141 Look, do I like her? Yeah. Of course. She's great. 316 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,561 But is she the one? I don't know. 317 00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:33,105 I mean, how does anyone know? 318 00:13:33,105 --> 00:13:35,357 You know, bro, honestly, for me, 319 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:38,151 it's when the imperfections stop being the deal breaker. 320 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,070 That's when you know, you know what I'm saying? 321 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,823 Like, I knew Didi was the one when I would share everything with her. 322 00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:45,200 - Aw. - Everything? Even your food? 323 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,785 Oh, especially my food, bro. For real. 324 00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:50,205 I'm not sharing my food with nobody. I will never be that in love, straight up. 325 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:53,458 [laughs] Famous last words. You're gonna be alone forever. 326 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:56,378 We thank you for your continued patience 327 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,713 during this lockdown. 328 00:13:57,713 --> 00:13:59,006 Oh, no way. 329 00:14:00,132 --> 00:14:02,926 Are you looking for anything in particular? Can I help? 330 00:14:03,594 --> 00:14:04,845 When I started dating Alex, 331 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,222 he would take me to this Thai restaurant all the time. 332 00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,933 He thought he was being all fancy ordering off the menu. 333 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,852 "We'll take the good shrimp, not the frozen shrimp. 334 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,688 And tell Gus to make it extra spicy." 335 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,190 Um... 336 00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:19,526 That's a good order. I, um, I used to work there. 337 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,907 You know, you... 338 00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,868 you have such a pretty face. 339 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:31,079 There has to be someone that can help you move on from Mr. Merman. 340 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,958 Yeah, there's this guy in my management class, 341 00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:38,170 but, you know, he entered the chat, but I don't know. 342 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,755 Okay, fun fact. 343 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,925 I wasn't so sure of Alex when we first met. 344 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,469 But then, he surprised me 345 00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:48,639 by making me fall in love with him. 346 00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:56,522 I probably shouldn't tell you this, but... 347 00:14:56,522 --> 00:14:58,982 Alex is looking at jobs at Hartsfield-Jackson. 348 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,693 Cool. 349 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,196 I could put in a good word with him if you like. 350 00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:06,198 Yeah, that would-- Oh! Look, okay! 351 00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:09,201 It's always the toner. 352 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:11,453 Um, it's always the last place you look. We should, 353 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:13,914 - you know, probably test it out. - Yeah, let's test it out. 354 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:16,041 Just so he won't forget. 355 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,252 Of course you have perfect titties. 356 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,174 Oh, my God. 357 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,301 What!? 358 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,388 He's gonna love this. 359 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,097 I've been waiting for you. 360 00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:20,397 It's crazy how much random food is in here, 361 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,566 and it doesn't smell like a compost pile. 362 00:16:22,566 --> 00:16:24,484 You'd be surprised what palo santo can do, you know? 363 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,236 Mm. That's true, powerful stuff. 364 00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,238 - Okay, be honest. - Mm-hmm. 365 00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:30,199 How much of this shit do you end up stealing? 366 00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:32,743 Honestly, most of it. 367 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:37,539 Listen, it's not like people can come back looking for it or whatever. They... 368 00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:40,792 go off to whatever country they're from, leave all this stuff to go bad. 369 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,544 - Better to not waste it. - Ah. 370 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,713 You are doing a good service, sir. 371 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,424 Thank you. 372 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,468 I'm actually surprised you came. 373 00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:52,095 Well, I'm... 374 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,306 full of surprises. 375 00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:59,520 - L-Let me give you a tour. - Yeah, yeah. 376 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,773 He tastes like salami. 377 00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:05,067 - I'm sensing a theme. - ♪ Baby baby ♪ 378 00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,319 I can do this, just like I practiced. 379 00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:12,199 Thank God I shaved this morning. 380 00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:15,452 Is he doing the alphabet? 381 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,540 Nope, just the letter I, italicized. 382 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:23,210 Aw, he's so proud of himself. 383 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,336 Good for you. 384 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,922 Is that a condom or chocolate? 385 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:28,173 Either way, yes. 386 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,342 Ooh! 387 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,762 Not a chocolate. 388 00:17:35,848 --> 00:17:38,517 Ooh! It's chocolate week on British Bake Off. 389 00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:41,144 Girl, focus up before it's over. 390 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,190 And it's over. Okay. 391 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,110 Whoo! 392 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:52,322 That was fun, right? I miss Alex. 393 00:17:53,282 --> 00:17:55,576 Yeah, it was. Totally. 394 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,953 Uh, where'd you get that scar on your chest? 395 00:17:57,953 --> 00:17:59,872 Oh. We went camping upstate last summer, 396 00:17:59,872 --> 00:18:02,332 and I-I tried this Bear Grylls hack, and I was-- 397 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,793 We? What do you mean by we? 398 00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:07,713 You don't care that I got a missus, right? 399 00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:13,677 - You're married. [snickers] Of course. - Uh-huh. 400 00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,637 Mel, what's the big deal? N-No one has to know. 401 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,806 I do! I know! 402 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,433 Why would you cheat on your wife? 403 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,351 I don't wanna talk about my marriage right now. 404 00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,730 Okay, yeah, and I wanted to cum, and that didn't happen for me, 405 00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:26,773 so I guess this didn't work out for either of us. 406 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,067 Wow. Okay-- 407 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,153 You know what? Just one thing. Why me? 408 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,071 Why not? You're beautiful-- 409 00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,781 Ew! Ew. Ew. 410 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,491 We're two adults, 411 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:39,203 killing time during a lockdown. 412 00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:42,372 I-I seriously don't understand why you're getting so upset. 413 00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,834 Because I shat where I ate! 414 00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:51,632 Pull it together, pull it together. 415 00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:14,988 - What are you doing back here? - Nothing. 416 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,157 Nothing is my favorite thing to do. 417 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,617 Can I sit there? 418 00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:21,036 I am very much in the mood 419 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,622 to do absolutely nothing. 420 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,876 Well, a lot of people are looking for you right now. 421 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:29,920 Why are you hiding? 422 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,840 Because my mom says I have to go 423 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,300 to North Carolina to see my dad. 424 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,094 That sounds fun. 425 00:19:37,094 --> 00:19:40,722 I've never been to North Carolina. What if I don't like it? 426 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,559 Mm... Well, 427 00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:45,561 depending on which part, you might not. 428 00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:48,772 But, you know, doing something new 429 00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:51,567 is scary for everybody, not just you. 430 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:55,946 Let me tell you a story about taking chances. It's about Bessie... 431 00:19:56,655 --> 00:20:00,617 something. She was the first Black female pilot 432 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,411 to fly in the US. 433 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:04,997 Or France. 434 00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:07,416 There was something about France. 435 00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:10,961 I wish I'd read the blurb, but I got the gist. Anyway, 436 00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:12,629 imagine how she felt 437 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,591 doing something new for the first time, 438 00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:19,553 not knowing how they'd treat her or if she'd make friends. 439 00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:21,638 And-- [grunts] Duck! 440 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:30,731 Who was that man? 441 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,860 Nobody. Absolutely nobody. 442 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:38,530 You know what? 443 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:40,991 Do you wanna see the display? 444 00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,035 And you'll have something fun to tell your dad. 445 00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,369 - Deal? - Okay. 446 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,705 Alright. Let's get outta here. 447 00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:52,085 Oh, no! 448 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,588 I forgot how to honk the horn! 449 00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:56,924 - Oh, I can do it. - Okay. 450 00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,884 Ladies and gentlemen, 451 00:20:58,884 --> 00:21:01,053 the lockdown has been lifted. 452 00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:03,847 Thank you for your patience as we work to get you to your destination. 453 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:06,683 Where were you? You should've checked in. I could've helped. 454 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:09,561 Well, at least now you know I can handle things when you're not around. 455 00:21:10,521 --> 00:21:11,939 Have fun in Atlanta. 456 00:21:19,429 --> 00:21:21,865 Those jackals picked every bone clean up there. 457 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:24,535 First rule of lockdown, take what's yours, and fast. 458 00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:27,329 Okay. Good to know you got survival skills. 459 00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:28,539 Ah! - Ah-ah! Whoa. 460 00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:31,166 Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! 461 00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,543 Sorry, it's not you, I promise. 462 00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:34,044 - Wow. - I grew up with five brothers, 463 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,046 and my survival skill is not sharing food. 464 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:38,257 Well, there'll be plenty enough to go around on Thanksgiving. 465 00:21:38,257 --> 00:21:40,551 - No need to bare your fangs, babe. - I will be on my best behavior. 466 00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:42,386 I'll even bake a pie. 467 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,641 Well, my break is done. 468 00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:49,977 - I'll see you tonight. - Mm-hmm. 469 00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:52,563 - Oh, and you owe me a foot rub. - Yes, ma'am. 470 00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:58,110 Well, well, well. 471 00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:01,029 Melissa Action Jackson. 472 00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:03,448 How's it feel to be a hero? 473 00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:06,034 I don't really feel much like a hero. 474 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:07,327 What's up? 475 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,581 I'm really trying to change, Terrance, 476 00:22:10,581 --> 00:22:13,250 but I keep hitting wall after wall after wall, 477 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:16,003 and it's like I'm stuck. 478 00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:19,464 And I don't wanna give up, but-- 479 00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:22,426 shit hurts. 480 00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:24,595 You sound like my Roomba. 481 00:22:24,595 --> 00:22:26,597 - Come again? - Hear me out. 482 00:22:26,597 --> 00:22:30,142 When I first got it, I was like, "Yo, this robot is about to change my life." 483 00:22:30,142 --> 00:22:33,187 - I'm about to change the channel. - Stay with me, Jackson. 484 00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:36,023 So, for the first couple of days, all the Roomba did was hit walls. 485 00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:38,233 - Mm. - I thought the shit was broke. 486 00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:39,943 I was ready to send it back. 487 00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:42,571 Then I woke up one day, and the shit was working. 488 00:22:43,030 --> 00:22:45,824 Turns out, the walls were information. 489 00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:48,368 Every wall was teaching it where to go 490 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,953 and where not to. 491 00:22:52,748 --> 00:22:54,458 Okay, Yoda. 492 00:22:55,584 --> 00:22:58,128 Alright. I'm a Roomba. 493 00:22:58,128 --> 00:23:00,589 - Come on. - Yay. 494 00:23:01,507 --> 00:23:03,133 [on radio] Patti for Mel. 495 00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:05,636 Pickup at B35. 496 00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:07,930 Roger that, on my way. 497 00:23:07,930 --> 00:23:10,224 I don't know why she's such a bitch. 498 00:23:10,224 --> 00:23:12,809 Uh, you're still pressing the talk button. 499 00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:15,020 I know. 500 00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:16,980 I gotta go. 501 00:23:17,523 --> 00:23:18,524 Oof! 502 00:23:18,524 --> 00:23:20,817 When you gonna give that up? 503 00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:23,237 Okay, one wall at a time. 504 00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:25,113 That's fair. 505 00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:26,448 Plus, if I quit, you'll figure out 506 00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:28,867 that the only reason why I come down here is for your little metaphors. 507 00:23:28,867 --> 00:23:30,827 - I got a million of 'em. - Ooh. 508 00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:32,913 And your chips. 509 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:35,666 And crumbs. 510 00:23:36,542 --> 00:23:37,543 Mm, good. 511 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,724 No, I'm serious! 512 00:23:52,724 --> 00:23:55,477 We've all have thought about having sex at work, right? 513 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,563 Mm-hmm. - I just didn't think I would do it 514 00:23:57,563 --> 00:23:59,565 - on top of or near charcuterie. - Ew. 515 00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:02,901 - The sausage goes inside, not under. - Thank you! 516 00:24:02,901 --> 00:24:05,237 As God is my witness, I am never, ever 517 00:24:05,237 --> 00:24:07,155 dating anyone at work again. 518 00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:08,740 Well, your boyfriend, Jackie D's gon' fix it. 519 00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:11,243 Mm, he been helping me fix it all day. Mm-hmm. 520 00:24:11,243 --> 00:24:12,661 Thank you. 521 00:24:12,661 --> 00:24:14,413 Alright, let's ruin this fruit man's life! 522 00:24:14,413 --> 00:24:17,875 I got his Facebook, LinkedIn, and Venmo up. Let's do this. 523 00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:20,419 - No! - Okay. Calm down! 524 00:24:20,419 --> 00:24:22,421 - I'm so ready. - I know, I appreciate you, 525 00:24:22,421 --> 00:24:24,548 but karmically, I ain't got no more cards to play. 526 00:24:24,548 --> 00:24:26,341 So, if you wanna help me, 527 00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:29,344 - you can update my HiveMind profile. - Dassit?! 528 00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:32,890 - Yes! - Look, I hit a wall today, but... 529 00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:35,184 I'ma keep going. 530 00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:37,686 - I'm proud of you. - Aw, thank you. 531 00:24:37,686 --> 00:24:40,147 Uh, you have no full-body pics on this. 532 00:24:40,147 --> 00:24:43,358 Um, that's because they already know what's on the outside of that. 533 00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:45,944 Alright, hold on, I think I have something that will work. 534 00:24:45,944 --> 00:24:47,946 Okay, have you had sex at the bar? 535 00:24:49,323 --> 00:24:51,533 Okay, that was a long pause! 536 00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:54,494 I got it. My finest work. 537 00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:57,497 Mel, meet Mel 2.0. 538 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:00,584 Wow. 539 00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:03,337 Okay, legs. I'm stealing that top. 540 00:25:04,046 --> 00:25:07,007 Wow. Alright, let's put this picture to work y'all. 541 00:25:10,427 --> 00:25:11,929 Here we go. Nope. 542 00:25:11,929 --> 00:25:14,223 He's cute. He's 24! 543 00:25:14,223 --> 00:25:16,183 Not with the teeny-weeny beanie. What? Ew! 544 00:25:16,183 --> 00:25:18,727 Get away from the life coaches. That's just drug dealers. 545 00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:20,812 Okay, if he has that many scarves, he don't need me. 546 00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:22,439 - No, no, no, that's a life coach. - Okay. No, 547 00:25:22,439 --> 00:25:23,941 the fish, if he was cooking it. 548 00:25:23,941 --> 00:25:26,151 Oh. He's got soulful eyes. He's cute. Mm. 549 00:25:27,694 --> 00:25:30,155 ♪ There's no way to forget it all ♪ 550 00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:32,199 It's my brother. 551 00:25:32,199 --> 00:25:34,826 Why is that so funny? 552 00:25:35,994 --> 00:25:37,496 He's married. 553 00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:40,415 ♪ I'm not trying to make you cry ♪ 554 00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:53,679 ♪ I don't believe it ♪ 555 00:25:53,679 --> 00:25:56,890 ♪ You don't believe in me ♪ 556 00:25:56,890 --> 00:26:00,811 ♪ So, how could you make me cry? ♪ 557 00:26:02,688 --> 00:26:05,190 ♪There's no way to forget it all ♪ 558 00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:07,776 ♪ I don't know why ♪ 559 00:26:07,776 --> 00:26:11,613 ♪ But I'm not trying to make you cry ♪ 560 00:26:13,323 --> 00:26:15,325 ♪ Five seconds in your heart ♪ 561 00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:18,036 ♪ Straight to the heart ♪ 562 00:26:18,579 --> 00:26:20,622 ♪ I can't get to your heart ♪