I have had to let go of someone to grow.
The first thing that comes to mind is my best friend.
I have let go of many people in my life
to go through to the next phase.
I have zero regrets about it.
The most important person on Earth is me.
I, like, stormed out at one point. I was really proud of myself
because, like, when I stormed out, I didn't trip or anything like that.
I was really worried I was gonna fuck up the exit,
but it was-- it was a 10. It was a 10.
♪ Oh, sometimes you just can't fix it ♪
♪ You love somebody who loves burning bridges ♪
You see what I'm saying? I'm out of my comfort zone because
the thing is old Mel doesn't take risks
'cause old Mel was comfortable being small.
But, not anymore. Now, you're shaking things up
like a handful of sunflower seeds.
Damn, right. You know what? I am a snack.
That's right.
- That people chew up and spit out. - Well...
- Just like the world has spit me out. - No, no, no.
- Okay. [grunts] Be honest. - Always.
Do these shoulder pads make me look like a linebacker?
Mel, you look--
You look--
- You look like-- - Judge Judy!
Come on, man. Judge Judy wear a robe, bro. Sit down, man.
Where you going looking like the CEO of the Tarmac?
I was gonna take this High Flyers class, but...
it's stupid! I mean, what was I thinking?
I am not management material!
Mel, uh-uh, we're not doing that today. Look at me. You are a boss-ass bitch.
- I need you to say it, come on. - Boss-ass bitch, so...
- Nah... - Uh, objection, your honor.
Gotta say it with your chest.
Come on now. Say it like TD Jakes.
Stand on up.
Alright, alright, alright...
I'm a boss-ass...
♪ I'm makin' a move ♪
♪ Study long, study wrong ♪
♪ Ain't nothin' gonna happen on a song ♪
♪ I'm makin' a move ♪
♪ Don't need no hickeys for this song ♪
♪ I got joy all through my soul ♪
♪ I'm makin' a move ♪
♪ Get up, get out... ♪
- Ah, you must be Ms. Jackson. - Yeah.
You're an hour late.
I must've written the time down wrong.
Hm. Not a good way to start.
Right.
With a recommendation from Mr. Cohen,
I have high expectations from you. Take a seat.
Mr. Chavez will walk you through the icebreaker we're working on.
Shit.
Hi. Melissa Jackson.
Y-Y-You know we met, right?
Uh...
- The confiscation room. - Oh shit!
- Sorry. - It's alright.
So what, um, what are we doing here?
We have to ask each other these getting-to-know-you questions. Okay?
- Great. - I was on time, so I'll start.
Okay.
A little bit about me. Carlos Chavez,
AKA Carlos Frutas.
I wanted to work at JFK because...
because they were offering a job, and I needed one.
- You know? [laughs] Um... - Oh, yeah.
A manager that's had a big impact on my life
was Vinny, my manager over at Pizzeria Queens.
- He taught me how to meditate. - Sure.
Enough about me. Tell me about Ms. Jackson.
Oh, she is not interesting. Trust me.
Hey, let me be the judge of that. Okay?
Okay. So,
first question.
"What inspired you to work at JFK?"
Well, uh,
I'm a people person.
♪ It's about to get hot in this mug, though ♪
I'm a people person. I thought that was a good thing.
Be a work person.
And tuck in that shirt. Jesus.
And it wouldn't hurt if you wore some makeup once in a while, huh?
I am.
♪ I been doing this ever since I could pen ♪
♪ I need flowers now, I need all the clout ♪
♪ I'm not next, I'm here ♪
So, you still waiting on that hot date?
Blind date. And, uh, he's not coming.
I've been here for over an hour.
Unless he was here, saw that I was Asian,
and remembered he was a racist, and left.
I once had a blind date take one look at me
and rewind himself out of the midtown AMC.
No, I'm serious. He was like, "Huh?"
It's giving VHS tape.
- Yes! - Oh God.
- Men suck. - Mm.
Usually, pretty well.
- That's why I can't quit 'em. - Okay!
You seem like such a great catch.
I'm sure you'll find the right guy someday.
I need more friends like you. I-I'm Rory.
- Mel. Hey. - Hey.
- Nice to see you again. - Melissa, what did I just tell you?
Stop chit-chatting, start working.
You have three tables waiting for their food!
I'm sorry.
She only hustles when it's her own meals.
Dara! Honey, you're looking good enough to eat!
Sorry. My boss is what you call a fucking piece of shit.
Do not apologize. You can't let him talk to you like that.
When was the last time you told a white guy to fuck off?
Every day of my life since my bar mitzvah.
My parents are white. Uh, it's a long story.
- Are you adopted? - Okay, it's a short story.
Well, listen, I'm in a situation where I can't just go
and tell my boss what I actually think. You know, I have bills to pay.
Okay. Mel...
I recently read on a tea bag that in order to grow,
you gotta let go of what doesn't align with you.
And I don't think that this place, you know,
aligns with you.
Well, I'm not gonna argue with you or the tea bag,
but I need a job.
I'll get you another one.
Go tell that guy to go fuck himself.
Please.
Hey, Steve.
Well, look who decided to get off their ass and work.
Hilarious. I've been meaning to tell you.
You're a racist, fatphobic piece of shit!
I quit.
And by the way,
a white man should not own a Thai food restaurant!
And for the love of God, stop harassing Dara!
And I'm not paying for any of my entrées!
And I'm taking this low-sodium soy sauce
with me because heart health.
Taking these napkins 'cause fuck you, Steve!
- I... am a people person. - Hm.
And what better place than this for someone who loves people and travel?
Wh-Where's the coolest place you've been?
The ugly side of Niagara Falls.
Um...
The truth is I've never been on a plane.
I, you know, I'm afraid to fly.
Hey, there's no shame in that. Okay?
Travel is travel. I-I've never been on a plane, either.
- Really? - Mm.
I'm gonna be taking my first flight in a month.
Hawaii. I-It's for my friend's wedding.
- Okay. - Yeah.
Y-You must-- You must really love this friend.
Oh, no, no, no. Uh...
I actually just need a vacation, they happen to be getting married there,
so, you know, two birds, one flight.
So, will you be at the singles table?
- Okay, Detective Frutas. Next question. - Okay, okay.
Tell me about a manager who's had a big impact on your life.
Okay, signal's right there.
- Yeah. - And then, you know,
put your foot on the brake before you do that.
- Yep. Yep. - Got your forward there.
- And it's simple as that! You wanna try? - Okay!
- Yeah, I'll do it. Let's-- Oh. - Okay, cool. Let's-- Oh.
Sorry, I just...
- Okay. You go around. - I'll go around.
- I'll-- Okay. - Excuse me.
♪ Whatever you like ♪
♪ Hey, it's a world away ♪
You know, I think you're really gonna love it here.
Actually, driving TRAX is the best job at JFK. You know?
People always happy to see you, you know? You don't get yelled at.
I mean, I don't-- I don't think there's a world
where anyone would yell at you. Okay? I mean, look at you.
Oh, come on now.
I don't think you'd have any problems with that either.
Oh!
Okay. Okay.
I'm definitely gonna get yelled at.
No, you won't. Look, hey.
No matter what, I got your back.
♪ Make it so nice, sugar and spice ♪
That's a hard one.
♪ And, on the back of my hand I'm readin' em ♪
Oh...
Excusez-moi. Here it is, over here.
- Right here. - No, this, uh... So, Wite-Out,
uh, there's a-a historical racism
'cause i-it's-- Wh-Where's Black-Out, hm?
- That's a good point. - Hey! Hey Patti,
Why is it so thick in here? And why don't you guys have your masks on?
We're living on the edge. What do you want, Patti?
Still going, huh? Yep.
You scheduled me for Saturday again.
As per my email, I have a Quidditch match, and they need me.
- Can't Mel do it? - Yeah! Yeah, I got you.
- Mm-mm! Mm-mm... - I-I-I...
Just remembered,
I have a Squarlarch, uh, match myself.
- So, I can't do it. - Uh, what position do you play?
Mi... ssionary.
- That's not a real thing. - To her, it is.
It's not-- It's not just real to me!
- Missionary? Missionary? - It's real to you too. Mm-hmm.
My favorite.
♪ You're unmistakable ♪
♪ This thing's unbreakable ♪
♪ Time's not for wasting, though ♪
Yeah, just...
Hey...
Hey, Dara.
So good to see you both. - Mm-hmm.
Second time this week. Yeah.
- It's her fault. She got me hooked. - Guilty.
So, what are we gonna have this week?
Um, we're gonna do the Pad See Ew with shrimp.
The good shrimp, not the frozen ones from last night.
We'll do the two orders of the Crab Rangoon,
- because I'm not sharing. - Okay?
The crab fried rice, extra crab, no scallions,
and we'll do the beef Panang curry.
And tell Gus to make it extra spicy.
So, the usual? Coming right up. - Yeah.
So, you spending the night with me tonight or what?
I'm not staying on your hard-ass bed.
It's called lumbar support, first of all.
It's called lumbar support. - Second of all, I don't see the big deal.
I mean, we wake up, I make you coffee, non-dairy hazelnut sugar-free creamer...
- Points. - Thank you.
And we just go to work together.
We cannot commute in together 'cause people are gonna find out about us.
Well, we gotta let HR know soon anyway.
- HR... - Yeah.
About us. Mel, look, we've been seeing each other,
what, almost three months now?
- Mm-hmm. - I think it's time we... tell people.
It's nobody's business if I'm fucking my boss but mine.
We are not just fucking,
okay? I...
I love you.
Why would you say that?
Because it's how I feel.
I mean, you're not like other women.
- Exactly. - Yeah, and I could be myself around you.
That's one of us.
Well, you make me laugh.
And we both like watching TV with the subtitles on.
- You're not listening. - Mel...
It's just so easy with you. I've...
I've never had that before.
With anyone.
This is not gonna work.
What do you mean?
I mean, I thought you had feelings for me, too.
Well, I don't.
Hey...
Yeah, you do.
You're just afraid to let me love you.
♪ Isn't it strange? ♪
- No. - ♪ How people can change ♪
I'm just here...
'cause you're around, and you'll touch me.
♪ From strangers to friends ♪
♪ Friends into lovers ♪
♪ And strangers again ♪
Do you know how exhausting it is to be the Mel that he's been dating?
That side of you is still you.
Yeah, but if I didn't break things off now,
in two months, he would see all the sides of me
and realize he's made a huge mistake...
And it would be more painful for the both of us, so...
Look, if you don't think that he can love
every single part of you,
then fuck that guy.
Just-- [sobs] hurts so bad.
I know. I know. It's okay.
This is why I don't do relationships.
I'm starting to understand.
- Yeah, cock 'em and block 'em? Yeah. - Yeah.
Plus,
we have each other.
- For everything. - Mm-hmm.
- Always. - Yeah, always.
Except for the sex part.
I know, but I wish you'd reconsider the sex part.
- Well-- Babe, we tried. - We did try. Halloween.
- The beard was confusing. - It was soft serve.
So, there is something I've been dying to ask you
since I met you in the confiscation room last month.
Oh! That Iberico ham is...
Woo! It's fire.
I'm trying to make it last, so I just cut off a little slice
to reward myself for doing my chores.
You're cute, but I wanted to ask you about the accident.
I know you didn't get into it with card sharks.
So, what happened?
Seriously?
Seriously?! What the fuck?!
Hell no! Not today, Satan!
Hey, Tamika. I'm sorry.
I got my hospital bill,
and insurance ain't cover shit.
Girl, you had me scared. I thought death was knocking at your door again.
Okay, now I know they're making--
Comprehensive penal-- They're making this shit up!
- I know it. - Eh...
I don't know about that. I saw you dead.
Like, I thought I was about to have a ghost problem
on top of my rat problem.
Wait, you were there?
Who do you think called the ambulance?
Me and Lamar were fucking when we heard something fall.
I took a video. You wanna see it?
- No, I don't-- Oh, alright. - Look.
Uh-huh. Just making sure y'all don't steal none of her shit.
That's what they did to my cousin Toño, and he had to buy all new CDs.
That's my neighbor, and she's just always--
Melissa, can you hear me?
Breathe. Stay with us
I think she's dead.
No pulse. Intubate. Cut the bra. - Oh, my God.
Fuck.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Uh, okay...
My bad.
Um... Question number three.
"Tell me about a time when you solved a problem in a creative way."
If that Ümlaüt claim doesn't come through,
I'm fucked, Bubba.
There must be something I can do.
You're only as sick as your secrets.
♪ Uh, chillin', layin' in the cut though ♪
- ♪ Easy, tryin' see what up though ♪ - What's this?
♪ So money, I got money ♪
- One, two, three, four. - ♪ Ooh ooh ♪
- ♪ Money, I got money ♪ - Okay.
♪ Ooh ooh ♪
♪ All my life, I had to grind and hustle ♪
♪ I had to work like Kobe ♪
♪ Just to shine like Russell ♪
♪ They say, "Glad you made it" ♪
♪ It happened overnight ♪
♪ They say, "Damn, you changed" ♪
♪ I'm like, 'Sho' you right" ♪
Forty-seven years to pay this off?
No debt, no teeth, no point.
What? Are you sure?
Hello, this is, um, Elise Robinson.
I was wondering if you could be a doll
and tell me what my credit limit is.
To verify your identity,
I'm going to ask you to answer your security question.
What is the name of your first pet?
Um, my...
Try Bubba. B-U-B-B-A.
Yeah, yeah, thank you, baby.
Correct. Thank you, Ms. Robinson.
The limit is $10,000.
Your balance is $9,721. Would you like to make a payment?
I'm so sorry. Wrong number.
Now, what?
Hey. You know that whole wardrobe accident
that ended with me in the hospital?
Uh, yeah, you okay? [on phone] Truth? Uh...
I got the hospital bill, and it's bad.
But my caseworker said I could go on a payment plan,
but my credit score is absolute shit.
And so, I need a co-signer.
And I was, um...
was hoping, um, you could be my co-signer.
Yeah, uh-- And I-I promise
- I would pay on time-- - Yeah, yeah. H-How much is it?
$30,000.
- Holy shit! - Holy shit!
Wait, am I on speaker? Is someone there?
Yeah... Um. uh,
Ben, he's in town, um. I...
Oh, d-did you check the bill? I-I thought you said it was--
Can you take me off of speaker, please?
Yeah, sorry.
So...
will you be my co-signer?
Look, Mel, I'm...
I'm so sorry,
but I-I just don't feel comfortable doing that.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm. - No, I just--
I'm actually trying to be more financially responsible right now.
I get it. I shouldn't have put you on the spot, so...
A-And things are extra weird with my dad, so...
Oh, yeah. No, I-I get it. And, um...
I'm fine. I--
- And I'll figure it out. Anyway, um... - Yeah, but listen, if you want--
Gotta go.
How the fuck do people do this?
Yes, um, I was calling about my hospital bill,
and I-I wanted to get on a payment plan.
[on phone]: That's possible.
- Do you have a co-signer? - Yes, I have a co-signer.
Name? - My brother, Brian Jackson.
And Social?
Uh-huh. His Social is two-one-five...
I stole my brother's Social Security number
to get on a hospital payment plan.
Holy shit!
- Shit! - Yep.
You're sneaky. I like that.
I'm still making payments.
Mm. Yeah.
Whatever! Everybody does sneaky shit.
Stick around, and you might just find out.
Okay, criminal.
- Last question, okay? - Alright.
-"Constructive criticism..." - Mm-hmm.
"...is still criticism."
- Mm-hmm. -"How do you handle that?"
I hate it.
I hate it. I wanna stop doing this.
You got this. Okay? Just do it. - Okay.
- Hi. - Hi. How may I help you?
- I wanna quit the program. - Oh, I'm so sorry,
but all cancellations actually need to be done over the phone. There is-- Yep.
A number right there on the back of your card
- where you can give us a call... - Mm.
...and we can get it sorted for you.
I did that, and I'm still on hold.
Uh, okay, well, maybe I can interest you in an upgrade.
We have a New Year special that includes dessert.
Maybe I can interest you in a loud public argument!
Okay, gimme one sec. Take your time.
- You look hungry. Are you hungry? - Yeah.
- Nah. - Okay.
- A little bit. - Eat something.
Um, yeah, th-th-that sh-- That should do it.
♪ Thank you! ♪
Thank you so much.
Ugh! You know what?
This is not living!
Assata Shakur said,
"We got nothing to lose but our chains!"
- Vámonos! Vámonos! - Not our gains! I'm coming!
I was so hungry.
Shit, I've been on Waist Watchers for three years.
I was off and on for 10! Ouch.
But, low-key, it was comforting being around other people
that are fucked up in the exact same way as you.
Yeah, but it's all bullshit, right?
- 1,000%! - Yes.
Alright, here's to all the fat bitches that set themselves free.
Uh-uh. You are not fat. Don't talk about yourself like that.
Bitch, you got eyes? We both fat as fuck.
I just said that outta habit.
If I call myself fat in front of Rory, he corrects me.
Well, I think you're both beautiful and fat as hell. Respectfully.
- Thank you! - Thank you, mamas! Salud!
Tell me, is Rory a Leo?
Yeah, how do you know?
They can be a little superficial.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, he can be a little narcissistic.
Like, the other day, he-- You know what? Never mind.
No, no, no, no, no. What?
His dad put me up for this management class,
and he asked me not to take it.
Wow...
You're taking it, though, right?
His relationship with his dad is messy,
and as his friend, I'm not gonna throw fuel on the fire.
That would be selfish.
What?! And as your friend,
that's his fire.
Putting yourself first is not being selfish.
- Right. - Yes, it is! If it hurts somebody,
you gotta put your needs aside.
Goddamn.
Does anybody have Brené Brown's number? Anyone?
Be honest. Do you wanna take this management class?
I mean, it does come with a raise.
- Bitch, take the class! - He would do the same for me!
The same man you just called a narcissist?
Nope.
I get you, Mel.
I was just like you. But then, I did ayahuasca,
and I realized I have to ask for what I want.
Period. Mm-hmm.
Conflict be that bitch. Mm-hmm.
She can make a relationship grow or break it.
Exactly. After five years,
Eric didn't like it when I found my voice.
So, we got a divorce,
and I went back to dating women.
Mm. Yes, you did. - Okay.
Okay. Let's say I take it.
I ain't got nothing to wear. Say less.
I can have you looking managerial as fuck in no time.
Y'all wanna come over to my place and do a fatty makeover?
Yes.
Uh...
do you think we can do it tomorrow?
Well, you can bail
if whatever it is you're about to do
is something that you actually wanna do.
Bet.
Did somebody say "fashion show"? Aye! Aye!
Yes! It's about time!
I got the looks. We gonna do an eye for you.
I wanna look like Michael Scott.
Like, my friends, they told me to dress the part,
so a bitch did.
Sounds like you got some good friends.
Yeah, I do.
Okay, last question.
Um, no. I thought that was the last question.
You're not the only one who's allowed to break the rules, right?
- Well, fair, fair. - Alright, okay. [laughs] So...
- answer me this. - Mm-hmm.
What do you see for yourself in the future?
I may be Black and round, but I am not a Magic 8 Ball.
Yeah. I don't know either.
Now that you've gotten to know your partner,
what I want is for you to ask yourself,
are you ready to have difficult conversations?
That brings me to your homework.
Please read chapter one in Difficult Conversations.
- Oh, fuck! - Oh, fuck!
Ooh! Fuck. Uh, who's this?
I thought you hated dogs.
Bubba, meet Rory. Rory, meet Bubba.
And I don't hate dogs.
I just hate other people's dogs when they're assholes.
Jesus, a blazer?
Who died and gave you a talk show?
Actually, I, um, need to tell you something.
Okay. I'm...
I'm scared.
Uh...
Look, I know I said that I wouldn't, um...
but I started the management class today.
What? I--
I never ask you for anything. J--
- Just this one thing, and y-you-- - I know.
You know how complicated my relationship is with my dad.
Fuck, especially now.
I know, but this was a good opportunity for me,
and I had to put myself first for once.
Yeah, for once. Lately, everything is about you.
What?
I'm in a real relationship for the first time ever.
I met Ben's parents last week.
I've never met a boyfriend's parents before.
Boyfriend?
Yeah!
Rory, you've only been seeing him for a month.
So what if we're moving fast?
Who cares? The point is
you don't give a shit.
You're changing.
Good.
I don't wanna be that person anymore.
I-I wanna be better!
Ever since the accident, I--
Oh, my fucking God! Mel...
Not the accident again. Okay, it sucks that this happened to you,
but it's been over a month, okay?
You're fine. You need to move on.
I fucking died, Rory.
For three full minutes. Dead.
So, don't tell me to move on.
If you had been a better friend,
i-if you had have been there,
instead of ditching me on my birthday, maybe none of this would've happened!
I'm sorry, Mel, but y-you can't punish me
for not knowing that you died for three minutes
wh-when you hid it from me. I'm not-- I don't read minds!
You made ditching me a fucking sport!
When we were supposed to go to Hamilton,
you called and canceled at the last minute.
Hamilton?
Or when I begged you to come to my cousin's baptism,
you had a stupid waxing appointment,
and that was more important to you than me!
Mel, I can't be there for you every second of your life.
- Okay? - It's not every second!
I-It's being there when it matters!
It's the fact that when I asked you to co-sign
for my fucking stupid hospital bill,
you said no!
- I needed you! - You always need me!
Do you know how hard it is being your only friend?
Do you?
Pretending like I don't have a social life,
just to make you feel better about yours?
Being the only thing that stands between you and your...
loneliness! Fuck, Mel!
I am not your boyfriend!
♪ In the end, it was friends ♪
Mel? I--
♪ It was friends who broke my heart ♪
- Boyfriend? - I didn't--
Rory, you're not even my friend.
- Just go. - Mel?
Rory, just go!
♪ In the fore ♪
♪ And as many loves ♪
♪ That have crossed my path ♪
♪ In the end, it was friends ♪
Rory.
♪ In the end, it was friends ♪
Fuck!
♪ In the end, it was friends ♪
♪ It was friends ♪
♪ Who broke my heart ♪
♪ And I've pushed myself ♪
♪ To be vulnerable ♪
♪ And then slept with one eye wide ♪
♪ All that pain ♪
♪ And nothing gained in the end ♪
♪ In the end, it was friends ♪
♪ It was friends who ♪
♪ Broke my heart ♪