1
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,672
為什麼我認為
有些紐約人會孤獨死去?

2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,426
因為有些人的標準不切實際

3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,802
因為恐懼

4
00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:13,888
因為他們破產了

5
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:20,478
《孤身也無憾》

6
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,689
(別活了)

7
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,743
{\an8}(尼加拉瀑布)

8
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,766
(歡迎來到紐約)

9
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,602
我是工作人員,混蛋

10
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,979
我的錯

11
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,321
你們好嗎?

12
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:20,538
不,你一定會喜歡的

13
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:24,375
南非?有企鵝又有長頸鹿
這種國家怎麼可能不好玩

14
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,796
一路順風

15
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,507
不,我告訴你,別跳過衝浪課

16
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,759
{\an8}你被紐約客咬到的機率
比被鯊魚咬到的機率還高

17
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,135
{\an8}這是千真萬確的事實

18
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:35,678
{\an8}B26登機門總是空的

19
00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:38,723
{\an8}如果你不介意水牛城辣雞翅的味道
你可以睡在那裡

20
00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,559
{\an8}或者你也可以買一些雞翅
並且跟他們同流合汙

21
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,145
不客氣,旅途愉快

22
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,236
(艾力克斯:請把這一天空下來!)

23
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,072
(親愛的梅麗莎
點擊這裡,開啟特別的訊息)

24
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,450
(一則大消息)

25
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,452
{\an8}(盲目約會成功了)

26
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,080
{\an8}(我們去看了球賽)

27
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,415
{\an8}(然後打得火熱)

28
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:06,751
{\an8}(我們墜入愛河)

29
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:08,378
(而現在)

30
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:11,256
{\an8}(我們要去茂宜島共結連理了)

31
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,423
{\an8}(請把這一天空出來)

32
00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:13,800
{\an8}(茂宜島,夏威夷,元旦)

33
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,346
原來壽星在這裡

34
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,647
{\an8}糟糕,悲傷的電臀舞?怎麼了?

35
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,190
你收到邀請函了

36
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,151
- 我甚至不知道他訂婚了
- 是啊

37
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,696
{\an8}我不敢相信在你甩掉他後
他就即將跟別人結婚了

38
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,406
我是怕他先提分手

39
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:40,118
{\an8}而如我所料,他找到了跟他般配的人

40
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,162
- 我的意思是,看看她
- 賤人

41
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,955
{\an8}看看你

42
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,082
{\an8}- 你是女王
- 我是女王

43
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:48,793
{\an8}- 不,認真說
- 我是女王!

44
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,336
{\an8}- 有點太大聲
- 抱歉

45
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,256
{\an8}她應該是他的備胎,不是老婆

46
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,924
{\an8}我不知道,我只是...

47
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,968
{\an8}我們能邊前往哈德遜書店邊聊嗎?

48
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,136
{\an8}我已經遲到了,比我平常還晚到

49
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,513
{\an8}你知道我不是你的私人司機吧?

50
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,265
我不是摩根費里曼
你也不是黛西小姐

51
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,850
{\an8}快點,我們走吧

52
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,810
{\an8}我從來沒有破壞過異性戀婚禮

53
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:08,271
{\an8}首先,就算我不怕坐飛機

54
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,148
{\an8}又穿得下我大尺碼的絲質連身褲裝...

55
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,232
絲質連身褲裝?

56
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,817
我想同時感到暖和跟涼爽

57
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:15,778
{\an8}重點是,我還是不會去
因為我會看起來很可悲

58
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:18,198
不,你對他還有感覺才會可悲

59
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,658
{\an8}不然你就是他媽的茱莉亞羅勃茲

60
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:21,743
{\an8}好,想像一下

61
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,827
{\an8}現在是紐約的冬天

62
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:24,996
你搭機離開,直奔邁泰雞尾酒

63
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,040
{\an8}- 我們只參加宴會
- 對

64
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,792
{\an8}接著我們稱霸舞池

65
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:30,877
隨惠妮休斯頓的音樂跳鴨子步

66
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,962
然後艾力克斯打來求你跟他復合

67
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,964
因為他想娶你

68
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,091
好,假設你真的對我下藥

69
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,384
{\an8}把我拖上飛機

70
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:41,554
{\an8}我還是不去,因為我破產了
我不能再辦另一張信用卡了

71
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:42,972
我請客

72
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,308
你從不用擔心錢嗎?
還是你像唐老鴨的叔叔那樣?

73
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,392
泳池裡全是錢...

74
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,894
我要跟你說幾次?

75
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,647
- 有錢的是我爸媽,不是我
- 你有養馬

76
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,900
你會在哈德遜工作
是為了滿足信託基金的需求

77
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,111
最後,但也最重要的是
你爸是甘迺迪機場的總裁

78
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,780
閉上你的臭嘴,停車!

79
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,366
莉佐來了

80
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:03,826
「A5登機門,十分鐘後」

81
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,286
什麼?你是認真的嗎?

82
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,955
對,達美航空的蒂娜
剛在通訊軟體上發文

83
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,582
- 哪個蒂娜?因為其中一個很愛說謊
- 大胸部的那個

84
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,917
- 大胸蒂娜
- 大胸蒂娜

85
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,670
可惡,我要負責載病患

86
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,089
如果真的那麼重要
他們會派救護車來

87
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,758
管他的,今天是我生日

88
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:20,969
太好了

89
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,346
- 天啊
- 太好了

90
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,014
真不敢相信我要做壞事

91
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,433
- 好耶,莉佐...
- 好,小心...

92
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,518
- 借過一下
- 我愛...

93
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,361
快點,後退

94
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,697
凱雅,莉佐來了

95
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,616
- 現在!
- 丹尼爾,幫我顧店,我要上大號

96
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,953
嘿,喬許,莉佐來了

97
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,746
- 莉佐來了,快來!
- 莉佐?

98
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,751
- 我們走吧...
- 我們走吧...

99
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:54,836
- 我們...
- 我們...

100
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,212
拜託

101
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,102
東西岸帥哥每週都越來越帥

102
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,146
我願意讓他對我做任何事

103
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,605
他對女人沒興趣

104
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:18,109
他有可能喜歡不分偏零
又有乳糖不耐症的亞洲男同志嗎?

105
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,319
- 機率是零,對吧?
- 零

106
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,612
閉上你們的鳥嘴
你們誰都別想得到他

107
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,573
我們在機場工作

108
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,075
對他和其他人來說,我們是隱形人

109
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:28,911
- 我們可以走了嗎?
- 他真帥

110
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:31,122
- 梅兒...小心
- 該死

111
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,625
- 天啊
- 小心!

112
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,461
該死

113
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,421
- 該死
- 我的天啊

114
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,089
- 大蘋果滾走了
- 不

115
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,550
走開,借過!

116
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,636
別忘了簽名和日期

117
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,473
- 如果你不簽,事情就大條了
- 根本沒有人受傷

118
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,224
這個地方最在意責任歸屬

119
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:52,060
- 你得更小心
- 我知道

120
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,604
現在我的完美紀錄有汙點了

121
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,440
我不要回行李提領處

122
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,359
我覺得...他們也不想要你回去

123
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,818
廢話,他們把我調來這裡

124
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:02,153
我該為此感謝他們

125
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,200
所以...

126
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:11,079
- 你收到電子郵件了嗎?
- 收到了,我沒碰派蒂的午餐

127
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,915
誰會在上班時吃冷掉的蛤蜊?那...

128
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:15,917
那封電郵

129
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,211
「我們要結婚了!」

130
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,047
不是我...是她...

131
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,884
你要在兩個月後的元旦跟她結婚

132
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,386
真是...太棒了

133
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,639
很...恭喜你

134
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,265
謝謝

135
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,893
天啊,一切發生得很快

136
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:37,313
- 所以我沒有機會...
- 不,聽著,我...

137
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,610
我很高興你要去
「茂宜島共結連理」了

138
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,530
天啊,拜託別把它變成流行語

139
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,408
那麼...嘿,那你呢?

140
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,492
今晚有什麼大計畫嗎?

141
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,286
還是跟往常一樣
跟羅力過泰國之夜?

142
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:53,788
不好意思...

143
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,833
我們其實要出去吃泰國菜

144
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,459
還有唱卡拉OK

145
00:06:58,459 --> 00:06:59,752
這就是俗稱的...

146
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,921
- 盛大派對
- 好

147
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:04,882
玩得開心點

148
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:07,510
謝謝

149
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,348
對了,梅兒,生日快樂

150
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,516
謝謝

151
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:19,147
我得回去開車了,所以我要走了

152
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,485
然後說著「上車囉」

153
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,195
好...

154
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,989
我要滑走了

155
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:35,580
派蒂

156
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,457
廢物

157
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,257
(西航頭等艙休息室
全性別廁所與淋浴間)

158
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,782
你的鞋子真好看...

159
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:13,868
薩克斯

160
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,246
第五大道的薩克斯百貨公司

161
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,375
我以為你說「性愛」

162
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,336
我正想說「什麼?不,我不行」

163
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,545
如果我說的是「性愛」,你會懂的

164
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:37,558
你在世界第六大的機場工作多久了?

165
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,520
四年,可能會直到永遠

166
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,480
那你還是不知道
這裡到處都是航空燃料?

167
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,440
什麼?真的嗎?

168
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,985
- 你在鬧我
- 對,我在鬧你,泰倫斯

169
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,863
我聽說你今天撞車了

170
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,824
- 誰告訴你的?
- 我自有辦法知道

171
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:55,201
你自有辦法知道

172
00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:57,370
- 蒂娜嗎?
- 蒂娜,是蒂娜告訴我的

173
00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,789
發生了什麼事?

174
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,458
我不知道,我當時想去見莉佐

175
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,628
你知道我跟她同年嗎?

176
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,047
35歲

177
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,508
我們倆一天都有24小時

178
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,051
我們都很胖、我們都是黑人

179
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,427
我們也都搞砸了

180
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,305
但看看她的成就,該死

181
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,474
我不知道她是怎樣,但我了解你

182
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,101
是嗎?

183
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,436
我不知道,我想沒有人真正了解我

184
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,314
我知道你討厭蜘蛛跟葡萄乾

185
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,858
- 因為它們看起來像老蜘蛛
- 你很幽默

186
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:28,985
又聰明

187
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,611
你對很多事情都略知一二

188
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:31,737
我是這樣看待自己的...

189
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:33,990
我破產了

190
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,784
我的家人認為我沒救了

191
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,078
我的感情生活是個笑話

192
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:43,833
最好笑的是
我在機場工作,但卻害怕搭飛機

193
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,877
你不能讓恐懼阻止你飛上天空

194
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,338
你一點都不好奇嗎?

195
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,383
你錯過太多了

196
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,230
好喔,神偷卡門,你又去過哪裡?

197
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,525
我去過慕尼黑、巴格達

198
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,819
- 東京、土耳其
- 好...

199
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,196
- 感謝你為國效力
- 不客氣

200
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,157
我他媽有權利提出訴訟,德尚

201
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,992
我要記下每件違反
職業安全與健康管理局規定的事

202
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,453
我不在乎那些,兄弟
你會害我們被勒令停業,尚恩

203
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,288
然後我得在家陪迪迪?她超兇的

204
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,998
她上週才裝了陰道環

205
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,500
你應該是指子宮環

206
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,336
- 應該是尿道環
- 嘿

207
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,963
管他什麼環,我才不在乎,兄弟

208
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,341
她很兇,我今年不想去六旗樂園

209
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,717
我的黑人兄弟,我要跟你說幾次?

210
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,552
那第六面旗子是邦聯旗

211
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:37,720
我要跟你說幾次?

212
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,180
我們是為了另五面旗子去的,兄弟

213
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,306
還有吉拿棒

214
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,017
- 充滿美味的種族歧視
- 好

215
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,436
聽著,我告訴過你,抽菸會害死你

216
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,480
聽著,泰倫斯
我們是住在美國的黑人

217
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,024
- 我們存活的機率本來就不大
- 也是

218
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,575
- 你們覺得很好笑嗎?
- 不,很可怕

219
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:00,701
- 我以為我完蛋了
- 這很嚇人

220
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,787
- 我不知道你們為什麼在笑
- 因為我很害怕

221
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,080
- 我很害怕
- 我有被通緝!

222
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:10,252
(造訪夏威夷)

223
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,587
你來了

224
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:16,550
- 天啊,關於今晚,我...
- 拜託,你不能又這樣對我了

225
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,094
如果你在我生日當天
為了老二而放我鴿子

226
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,805
- 我們的友情就真的結束了
- 不,我倒希望是為了老二

227
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,767
不是的,我爸本來要主持
一場募款餐會,現在他不能去了

228
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,978
我得招待客人之類的

229
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,063
你也知道他的個性

230
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,606
- 我無法拒絕,所以...
- 不,我懂...

231
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,692
聽著,我們下週末
會做任何你想做的事

232
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,444
我保證我們會一起
吃大麻零食,看《辦公室瘋雲》

233
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,405
我們要跳過羅伯特加利福尼亞那集?

234
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,948
當然了

235
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,409
去吧,玩得開心點

236
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,702
- 謝謝
- 好

237
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,622
- 我要去我的快樂園地了
- 好

238
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,404
這年頭東西很貴

239
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,657
總共是376.43美元

240
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:26,078
你知道嗎?
管他的,今天我要對自己好一點

241
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,082
其實...

242
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,292
(家庭卡打九折)

243
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,543
這張應該可以

244
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,379
等等,抱歉

245
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:38,632
我能享有家庭卡折扣嗎?
還是只限家庭使用?

246
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,305
非常感謝你

247
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,935
祝你有美好的一天...

248
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,898
你是個很有效率的打包人員,那麼...

249
00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,361
我可以的...你還好嗎?

250
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:00,780
我很好,你還好嗎?

251
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,034
嘿,我是你媽,寶貝,等你有空

252
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,162
我要你教我怎麼錄
《約翰傳奇歌唱秀》

253
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,081
- 轉彎...
- 我要叫你哥哥過來

254
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:15,044
移動這張桌子,我一直撞到腳

255
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,840
說到腳,記得幫強森一家祈禱,孩子

256
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:24,053
茱莉莎沒有成功減重
反而因為糖尿病失去一隻腳

257
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,555
我差點忘了!

258
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,724
(生日快樂...)

259
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:31,227
好...今天的主角不是你,媽

260
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:34,647
好

261
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,649
(米特莎衣櫃很重)

262
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,733
(搬箱子及組裝時請找搭檔協助)

263
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,944
組裝也需要搭檔

264
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:42,196
你等著瞧,瑞典家具

265
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,790
去你的

266
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,589
好

267
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,262
好了

268
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:11,725
天啊

269
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,687
塔米卡不是今晚唯一上床的人

270
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,402
你這個來自《料理鼠王》的垃圾

271
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:25,072
他媽的退後,雷米,給我退後!

272
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,615
這是我的

273
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,534
你待在房子的那一邊

274
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,827
我待在這一邊

275
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,328
混帳東西

276
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,039
你嫉妒我嗎?

277
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,917
去你的,混蛋

278
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:53,058
黑人女性,35歲,單身

279
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,478
鄰居發現她在公寓裡昏迷不醒

280
00:14:56,979 --> 00:15:00,858
她的臉部有撕裂傷,後腦勺有挫傷

281
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,568
天啊

282
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,652
等等,讓我來幫你

283
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,112
我覺得自己像個皮納塔玩具一樣脆弱

284
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:07,448
那是因為你的肋骨骨裂了

285
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,617
為什麼我的肋骨會骨裂?

286
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,994
胸外按壓導致的,在她停止呼吸後

287
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:15,247
等等,我停止呼吸?多久?

288
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,665
將近三分鐘

289
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:17,750
三分鐘?

290
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,544
比《慢慢來》這首歌還長

291
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,755
她後腦勺的鈍器創傷

292
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,798
導致她面朝下往前摔

293
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:29,720
她還被嘴裡的炸蟹角噎到

294
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,514
- 那是螃蟹春捲那類的嗎?
- 比較像炸餃子

295
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,767
- 我以為那是鍋貼
- 煎的還是炸的?

296
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,019
它是酥脆的炸餛飩

297
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:40,648
裡面包了奶油乳酪、青蔥和蟹肉

298
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,650
通常都是蟹肉棒,對吧?

299
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,735
但差點殺了我的是真正的蟹肉

300
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,988
因為我為了慶祝生日多付了點錢

301
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:56,622
(祝你生日快樂)

302
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,333
(祝你生日快樂)

303
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,794
不,拜託,天啊

304
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,006
好,下一步是什麼?

305
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:10,427
下一步是我要下床回家

306
00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:14,139
下一步,因為嚴重的腦震盪

307
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,475
她接下來六小時都要保持清醒

308
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,269
為了治療肋骨骨裂
開立羥考酮止痛藥的短期處方

309
00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,480
或是500毫克的布洛芬

310
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,774
接下來六週不能劇烈運動

311
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:26,527
算你走運
我過去六年都沒劇烈運動過

312
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,070
- 所以沒問題
- 好

313
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,321
好的,試著放輕鬆

314
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,824
琪琪很快就會讓你出院

315
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,745
我知道你經歷了很多,你感覺如何?

316
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,164
很好,我從沒這麼好過

317
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:43,085
我試著撥打檔案裡的緊急聯絡電話

318
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,378
但打不通

319
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:48,549
- 號碼還是212345...
- 那是...

320
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,427
那是我的電話號碼

321
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,972
你是自己的緊急聯絡人?

322
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:56,807
對

323
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,435
醫院的政策是你得找人來接你

324
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,813
- 我的手機呢?
- 好的

325
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,862
要花一些時間,所以...

326
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,740
羅賓森女士,你還好嗎?

327
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:16,118
記得晚餐時幫我拿辣醬
不然就幫我拔管吧

328
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,619
我會問提必多醫生

329
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:29,631
{\an8}(梅麗莎傑克森來電)

330
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,849
嗨,我是羅力柯漢,你知道該怎麼做

331
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,311
嘿,聽著

332
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,189
如果你找不到人,醫院有提供

333
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,523
- 接送服務...
- 你知道嗎?

334
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,317
我能跟你說實話嗎,琪琪?
你叫琪琪,對吧?

335
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,821
唯一應該在我身邊的人
他媽的不接我電話

336
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,241
不巧的是,我沒有別人了

337
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:59,161
所以如果你真的想幫我

338
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,872
能不能給我一點空間
和時間讓我想清楚?

339
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,874
好嗎?謝謝

340
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,463
有人情緒不穩

341
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,134
天啊

342
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,181
- 什麼事那麼好笑?
- 我沒想到你有那個膽子

343
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,768
- 什麼膽子?
- 吵架的膽子

344
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,104
我低估你了

345
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,773
我想我也低估了自己

346
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,318
我是梅麗莎,你叫什麼名字?

347
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,070
伊莉絲

348
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,573
生日快樂,梅麗莎

349
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:39,576
謝謝

350
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,830
伊莉絲,你怎麼會來到這裡?

351
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,289
我跌倒了

352
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,042
在這個年紀跌倒會要了你的命

353
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:50,129
你知道嗎?我今天死了
結果並沒有我想像中精彩

354
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,839
大多數死亡都是這樣

355
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,258
你什麼意思?

356
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:57,177
死亡有三種

357
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:59,680
有肉體的死亡,我們都很清楚這一種

358
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,014
還為它寫了詩

359
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:06,145
還有一種死亡是當人們不再關心你

360
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:08,313
最糟糕的一種死亡

361
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,692
是當你不再關心自己

362
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,195
那樣的話,我很久以前就死了

363
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:18,073
那麼或許你該開始好好生活

364
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,160
以前我就跟你一樣,梅麗莎

365
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,496
什麼都不說、什麼都怕

366
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,916
但後來我整個豁出去了

367
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,630
現在當我的一生在眼前閃過

368
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,551
至少我能看到一些精彩畫面

369
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,513
我也想看到一些精彩畫面

370
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,975
既然你知道了,就去做吧

371
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:48,729
現在,告訴我

372
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:51,064
那道蟹肉料理值得嗎?

373
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,987
對...很值得

374
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,447
很好

375
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,325
你知道,你應該試試日式煎餃

376
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,537
我在日本吃過,超好吃

377
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,998
好吃到我的腳趾都捲曲了

378
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:12,044
我只能相信你了,因為我不搭飛機

379
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:15,047
我之前也是,後來我開始飛了

380
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:20,302
女孩,你不要再在乎別人的想法了

381
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,889
開始做一些讓你害怕的事吧

382
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:27,184
- 好嗎?
- 一言為定

383
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,188
伊莉絲,你知道嗎?

384
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,607
我知道我們才剛認識

385
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,735
但如果我們能關心彼此呢?

386
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:40,030
至少我們能少擔心一種死亡,對吧?

387
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,993
- 伊莉絲?
- 羅賓森女士?

388
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,495
藍色代碼,B226

389
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,997
伊莉絲...

390
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,165
開始用甦醒球

391
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,500
過來,準備急救

392
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:55,128
羅賓森女士
你聽得見嗎?羅賓森女士

393
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:57,464
開始按壓

394
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,677
(心電圖,呼吸器)

395
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,097
死亡時間,晚上10點27分

396
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,018
你可以打給驗屍官嗎?

397
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:11,937
我要下班了

398
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:15,232
好,我打給她,交給社會安全局處理

399
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,359
- 她沒有近親
- 我們走吧

400
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:54,980
我很抱歉

401
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:05,449
我在林肯中心看過他的現場表演

402
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:07,409
這傢伙是紐約人

403
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:08,827
你一定去過林肯中心

404
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:09,995
我其實沒去過

405
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,331
潔妲,你非去不可

406
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,666
你知道嗎?就這麼決定了

407
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,294
我要帶你去林肯中心

408
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,504
我們要去聽爵士樂
你自然就會開始吟唱

409
00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:20,589
你走在街上就會開始...

410
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,007
(梅麗莎傑克森來電)

411
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,300
大家會說「那女人在吟唱」

412
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:25,635
你的手機一直響

413
00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:27,471
- 你確定不用接嗎?
- 不用,是我妹妹

414
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,556
不,我不用接,我...

415
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,100
我唯一需要的是...

416
00:22:33,226 --> 00:22:34,227
第二次約會?

417
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:37,522
或者我該說...

418
00:22:38,815 --> 00:22:41,818
(請給我第二次約會的機會)

419
00:22:41,818 --> 00:22:43,153
(錫安山醫院)

420
00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:44,613
(急診,停車場)

421
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:45,697
該死

422
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:51,203
小妹

423
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:04,549
很抱歉我毀了你的夜晚

424
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:07,928
我只希望能有一次我接到你的電話時

425
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:11,348
不是因為你需要我做什麼

426
00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:16,061
我不知道還能打給誰

427
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:30,450
好,到底發生了什麼鳥事?

428
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:33,912
我在組裝瑞典家具,它倒在我身上

429
00:23:34,454 --> 00:23:37,582
你有錢買瑞典家具
但手機還在用我的家庭方案

430
00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:39,418
別又來了...

431
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,002
我可以補償你

432
00:23:41,002 --> 00:23:43,380
你想要什麼?我可以幫你顧小孩

433
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,840
- 你要顧小孩?
- 對

434
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,383
拜託

435
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:49,344
我才不要坐在這裡,假裝我需要你

436
00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:52,556
你總是說你會來
但我們都知道你不會出現

437
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:55,434
去你的
我只生了兩個孩子,不是三個

438
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,185
你想幫我嗎?真的嗎?

439
00:23:57,185 --> 00:23:59,396
- 打理好自己的生活
- 好

440
00:23:59,729 --> 00:24:01,731
- 你自己又過得多好?
- 我沒這麼說

441
00:24:01,731 --> 00:24:03,692
你是個投票給吉兒史坦的酒鬼

442
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:04,985
我是憑良心投的

443
00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:07,195
好,你害我們沒有集中投票,王八蛋

444
00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:08,947
班加西!

445
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:10,031
- 好
- 我們在紐約

446
00:24:10,031 --> 00:24:11,283
- 我投給誰不重要
- 好

447
00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:12,909
我就算投給我的蛋蛋也沒差

448
00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:14,453
你知道嗎?

449
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,121
停車

450
00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:19,207
- 才不要,不要
- 給我他媽停車!

451
00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:20,834
幹,我停車了!

452
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:22,669
- 你滿意了嗎?
- 對,我他媽的很滿意

453
00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:23,753
- 可惡
- 滾出我的車

454
00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:25,589
- 下車,再見
- 幹!

455
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:28,258
回家找你的白人老婆和你的進口啤酒

456
00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:31,344
我會的,我等不及了
我們他媽在葬禮上見

457
00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:32,429
閃開!

458
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:34,723
(卡拉OK之夜)

459
00:25:23,271 --> 00:25:24,523
最後一輪了,親愛的

460
00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:28,151
可以給我一杯威士忌和藍帶啤酒嗎?

461
00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:33,031
好,稍作休息後
下一位登台的是蜜雪兒

462
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:34,908
{\an8}這不是我的東西

463
00:25:35,408 --> 00:25:36,826
幹!

464
00:25:36,993 --> 00:25:39,663
怎麼了?除了很明顯的外傷之外?

465
00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:42,249
醫院不小心把伊莉絲的東西給我了

466
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:44,251
我應該繼續問下去

467
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:45,919
但我們快打烊了

468
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:49,214
沒關係,反正她死了

469
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,426
你這是在逼我發問了

470
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:56,596
怎麼了?你還好嗎?

471
00:25:56,596 --> 00:25:58,348
我還好嗎?

472
00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:01,935
絕對不好!

473
00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:05,522
我...我今天原本要死了

474
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:09,192
你能想像自己差點
被你最喜歡的食物噎死

475
00:26:09,192 --> 00:26:11,945
同一天還收到一張喜帖

476
00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:14,239
而發送喜帖的男人是唯一...

477
00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:17,117
真正懂你的人嗎?

478
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:21,288
我每天載著別人去他們的目的地

479
00:26:21,746 --> 00:26:23,540
但我不知道我該去哪裡

480
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:25,458
就算我知道,我也負擔不起

481
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:30,505
我還在付醫院從我身上
剪開的大尺碼胸罩的錢

482
00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:35,343
好讓他們把我這個大胖子
拖回一個沒人能看見我的世界裡

483
00:26:39,889 --> 00:26:41,891
我假裝無所謂

484
00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:47,981
但事實上...

485
00:26:52,902 --> 00:26:54,487
我想要被看見

486
00:26:57,032 --> 00:26:59,159
我想要被愛,你懂我的意思嗎?

487
00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:02,203
我想要有人愛我

488
00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,665
即使我自己做不到

489
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,338
所以現在我該怎麼辦?

490
00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:18,637
我不知道

491
00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:24,059
沒有人他媽的知道

492
00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:28,480
你接下來只能盡量做出最好的決定

493
00:27:29,314 --> 00:27:30,357
然後從那裡開始

494
00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:33,860
- 還要多吃蔬菜
- 莎莎醬算嗎?

495
00:27:50,877 --> 00:27:53,088
(艾莉)

496
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:55,674
你有安全的地方可以去嗎?

497
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:01,054
有...

498
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:14,025
這是個壞主意

499
00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:17,195
我到底在做什麼?

500
00:28:25,453 --> 00:28:26,830
該死

501
00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:40,844
好喔,伊莉絲,不錯喔

502
00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:48,935
{\an8}(《省錢遊中歐》)

503
00:28:49,519 --> 00:28:53,523
{\an8}(《關於愛的一切》
貝爾胡克斯著)

504
00:29:06,953 --> 00:29:08,163
搞什麼鬼?

505
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:12,208
嗨

506
00:29:12,208 --> 00:29:13,418
你好

507
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:18,089
天啊...

508
00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:19,299
好的

509
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:23,386
你叫什麼名字?

510
00:29:25,847 --> 00:29:27,223
巴巴

511
00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:29,642
嗨,巴巴,我是梅兒

512
00:29:31,895 --> 00:29:33,855
對,嗨

513
00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:38,067
我會照顧你的,好嗎?

514
00:29:46,075 --> 00:29:47,118
來吧

515
00:29:47,118 --> 00:29:49,245
(艾莉:很高興你沒事)

516
00:29:49,245 --> 00:29:50,580
我知道

517
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,001
你準備好了嗎?

518
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,545
對,我也沒準備好

519
00:30:06,554 --> 00:30:07,764
該死

520
00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:19,943
{\an8}(謝謝,祝你有愉快的一天)

521
00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:04,195
(艾力克斯:猜猜誰一次
就解開了今天的猜字遊戲?)

522
00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:07,615
(梅兒:少吹牛
今天的詞是什麼?)

523
00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:14,539
(艾力克斯:奮鬥)

524
00:31:22,505 --> 00:31:23,756
(我們墜入愛河)

525
00:31:23,756 --> 00:31:25,508
(而現在)

526
00:31:25,508 --> 00:31:28,344
(我們要去茂宜島共結連理了)

527
00:31:28,344 --> 00:31:29,929
(請把這一天空出來
茂宜島,夏威夷,元旦)

528
00:31:32,265 --> 00:31:35,894
號碼是022325

529
00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:38,938
好,馬上好,請不要掛斷

530
00:31:38,938 --> 00:31:41,190
- 系統今天很慢
- 好,沒關係

531
00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:44,611
- 我從沒去過夏威夷
- 我也沒有

532
00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:48,698
但你知道嗎?
我很興奮能終於出去看看了

533
00:31:48,698 --> 00:31:50,617
我也為你感到興奮

534
00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:54,037
信用卡刷不過

535
00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:56,915
你要我試試看別張卡嗎,女士?

536
00:32:15,516 --> 00:32:19,312
{\an8}(紐約州駕照,伊莉絲羅賓森)

537
00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:21,481
{\an8}(伊莉絲羅賓森)

538
00:32:25,151 --> 00:32:28,071
別批判我,我只是在看號碼對不對

539
00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:29,155
僅此而已

540
00:32:31,908 --> 00:32:34,994
(持卡人姓名:伊莉絲羅賓森)

541
00:32:34,994 --> 00:32:36,287
(卡號)

542
00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:54,931
{\an8}(處理付款中)

543
00:32:54,931 --> 00:32:56,265
(交易完成)

544
00:32:58,393 --> 00:32:59,560
我們出發吧

545
00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,829
字幕翻譯:林思余