1 00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:09,884 [narrator] Jason Bateman and Maya Rudolph are about to guest star 2 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,178 on the Murderville Christmas Special. 3 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:17,684 But here's the catch, everyone has been given a script... except them. 4 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:21,354 Hi, my name's Jason Bateman. I am here doing Murderville. 5 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,772 I'm Maya Rudolph. 6 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,275 I'm about to do Murderville. 7 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,736 I have been given no script. 8 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:32,073 - I have not been given a script. - What I know is next to nothing. 9 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,659 I love that I didn't have to learn any lines. 10 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,162 [Jason] I've seen no actors. I've seen no sets. 11 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:40,040 I'm going to have to figure out who the murderer is. 12 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:44,210 And that makes me nervous. So, I don't know who's here, 13 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:47,881 what's happening... [chuckles] ...and what I'm going to do, 14 00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:50,049 which I'm delighted by. 15 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:01,853 [Terry] The holidays, 16 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:05,899 a magical time each year when we set aside our differences 17 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:10,487 and unite around one common belief, that Christmas sucks ass. 18 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:15,658 At least that's what I used to think. My name is Terry Seattle. 19 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,661 I'm a senior homicide detective with a failed marriage 20 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,581 and moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. 21 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:26,920 And this is a story of one magical night, when my whole world changed. 22 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,214 Bingo. 23 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,008 - [phone rings] - [grunts] 24 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,388 [groans] 25 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,643 - What is it Rhonda-slash-Chief? - Merry Christmas, Terry. 26 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:44,103 Is it? Is it a merry Christmas? 27 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,397 I'll be quick, 'cause I'm in Hawaii with Daz, 28 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,191 we booked paddle boarding lessons. 29 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,777 Did I forget to cash an alimony check again? 30 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,946 Yes, but that's not why I'm calling. 31 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:55,907 Mayor Palmer's hosting City Hall's annual holiday party, 32 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,492 and there's been a mix up. 33 00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:01,121 She needs someone to run security details, so get down there ASAP. 34 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:04,082 Just 'cause I hate Christmas, doesn't mean I want to work. 35 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:06,626 Besides, one person can't handle that event. 36 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:09,129 - Which is why I got you a new partner. - What? 37 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,505 No. Chief, come on! 38 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,090 - [doorbell rings] - [groans] 39 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,092 I'll text you the details. Have fun! 40 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:17,595 I hope you fall off the paddle board, then sharks circle you. 41 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,348 - But don't eat... Ah, she hung up. - [doorbell rings] 42 00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,308 I heard you the first time. 43 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,394 [sighs] 44 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,022 Hey. 45 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,943 Well, if it isn't the Ghost of Christmas ass. 46 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:33,486 That's not complimentary. 47 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,363 - Good to see you. - Come on in. 48 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:39,200 You are Detective Seattle perhaps, I hope. 49 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,244 Look at this guy, already got questions. 50 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,954 - Pop a seat right here. - Yep. 51 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,582 - Can I come around? - I wish you would. 52 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:46,875 Hi. 53 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,503 - [sighs] - Is this breakfast? 54 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:54,173 - You always talk when you're nervous? - [laughs] 55 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,384 - Let's start with the basics. - Okay. 56 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,927 - What's your name? - Jason. 57 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:00,889 - Bateman. - Okay. 58 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:04,100 What's your profession before you became a homicide trainee? 59 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,144 I used to be an actor. I'm looking for 60 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,979 - a career change. - Kicked out? 61 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,397 - No, not kicked out. - Close? 62 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,401 - No, it was totally voluntary. - What kind of roles would you play? 63 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:16,696 Just a normal, average, dumb white guy. 64 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,156 - That makes sense. - Sorry? 65 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:21,159 You come waltzing in here, thinking you can do my job. 66 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,327 - No. - I don't... 67 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,079 - You ever worked security before? - No, I have not. 68 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,833 I got three callbacks for one security part, but didn't get that one. 69 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,418 - Like a commercial? - Huh? 70 00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:31,669 No, no. How dare you. 71 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,839 We're gonna be working a security detail down at City Hall. 72 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,966 Number one thing is threat assessment. 73 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,676 Think you'd be good at that? 74 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,971 - Well, I... - See any threat around you right now? 75 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:45,099 - I see a lot of VHS tapes. - Jason Bateman, 76 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:48,937 do you see any other kind of threat other than these items? 77 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,272 Is there anything threatening to you? 78 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:55,193 - Nothing at all in front of me. - Huh. 79 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,570 - [door slams open] - [chainsaw whirring] 80 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,489 [Terry yelling] 81 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:04,494 Sit down! Sit down! 82 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,830 You see that? 83 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,959 You did not assess the threat! Sit down! 84 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,128 You let a raving lunatic into my home! 85 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:18,007 Lucky for you, it was my former trainee, Marshawn Lynch. 86 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,260 - Holy. Good Lord. - Shit! 87 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,220 - Big fan. - The best damn 88 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,931 homicide trainee I ever had. 89 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:28,643 - You did not assess the threat. - He wasn't in the room yet. 90 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:32,397 Exactly. You should be thinking about outside of the room. 91 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,441 - Is there more trouble outside? - You tell us. 92 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:38,528 Is everybody going to die? Are we going to die 93 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,572 - in your hands, Jason Bateman? - I don't want that to happen. 94 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,701 - How can I help? - You gotta stay alive. 95 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,661 - Okay. - Put your face in here. 96 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,621 Look at this guy. Listen to him. 97 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:52,375 - Shit, that is the fucking Ozark dude. - Thank you. 98 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,669 [Terry pants] 99 00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,879 - You're the best. - No problem, Chief. 100 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,299 Make yourself at home, whatever you want. 101 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,592 - That's it for him? - He's going to chill out. 102 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,720 It's Christmas. Let's get out of here. 103 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,305 - Let's do it. - [phone chimes] 104 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,891 - All right, hang on a second. Uh-oh. - [Jason chuckles] 105 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,060 This is just something from the chief here. 106 00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,604 What size booties do you wear? 107 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,649 [Terry] Turns out the holiday party was short an elf, 108 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,402 so Jason was pressed into emergency service. 109 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:23,364 Little did we know his job would soon go from spreading cheer, 110 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,199 to solving murder. 111 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,534 Look at this. 112 00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:29,037 - They smudged their names. - Pretty smeary. 113 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,998 [Terry] Amateur hour. You guys never heard of a Sharpie? 114 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,293 You ready? How you feeling? Feeling good? 115 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,253 I'm happy now. We're at a party. 116 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,756 Good. The Mayor said that she needed Santa's elf 117 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,467 as a helper, I wanna know you're here to help. 118 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,552 - Are you here to help? - I'm here to help. 119 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,637 Are you getting into a holiday outfit? 120 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,432 I need you looking alive, looking for threats. 121 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,392 Look at all these presents. Wow! 122 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,227 These are incredible. 123 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:56,022 What, do we just grab one of these... Angus? 124 00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:59,984 Angie, and no. This toy drive is for the local orphanage. 125 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,820 Later, Santa will deliver the gifts to the kids. 126 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:05,907 Oh my gosh! Noise canceling headphones! These are the best. 127 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,826 - You ever used these before? - I'd love some right now. 128 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,787 - They cancel out the noise. - Yep. 129 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,955 - Can I have these? - [Angie] Absolutely not. 130 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,875 - Each present is for a specific orphan. - Wow. 131 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:19,504 These orphans, parents die and people just give you presents? 132 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,673 Wish my parents had just died like that. [quietly] Grab those. 133 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,592 - Three presents? - No, these. 134 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,260 Stuff 'em in. In your vest. 135 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,554 I've always wanted a pair of these. 136 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:31,474 You got it? Zip 'em right in there. That looks good. 137 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,434 - Detective. - Mayor Palmer, how are you? 138 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,270 Detective Seattle, thank you for coming on short notice. 139 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,814 And you must be? 140 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:42,693 - Jason, trainee. - How good are you, Jason? 141 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,029 - I can be the best, the best ever. - Great. 142 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,031 You're practiced at being an elf? 143 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:50,535 I feel like I've got the outfit on and ready to go. 144 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:53,663 Do you have, like, a... maybe, like, an elf dance? 145 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,540 That'd be great. 146 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,083 Yeah, let's see that. 147 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,835 - Okay. - [Terry] And sort make, 148 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,129 - like a song, an original song. - Yeah. 149 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,964 - Caw caw caw! - That'd be... 150 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,883 - [Terry chuckles] - Not mine. 151 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,218 - [Terry] Hang on. - Wow. 152 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,303 Sorry, I brought these for the orphans. 153 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,889 They look like the one you had before. 154 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,141 - Damn it. - Ready? 155 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,268 - Let's do it. - Come here, listen to Santa. 156 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,894 He'll tell you what's going on. 157 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,856 - Ho ho ho! - Stand right here, next to Santa. 158 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,108 My little elf helper has arrived. 159 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,986 Okay, don't be distracted by all this Christmas crap. 160 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:29,282 You're here for threat assessment. Keep your eyes peeled for any danger. 161 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,868 - Terry, can I talk to you for a second? - Yep. 162 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,537 Alright, Terry, I really need tonight to go smoothly. 163 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,832 No problems. I'm down in the polls, I can't take the negative PR. 164 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,668 Mayor Palmer, don't you worry about it, okay? 165 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:44,213 Nothing's going to go wrong. Terry Seattle is on the case! 166 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,923 - [lights click off] - [all gasp] 167 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,550 [suspenseful music playing] 168 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:49,802 [bells jingling] 169 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,345 - [man grunts, yells] - [thud] 170 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,057 [lights click on] 171 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,851 Here we go. 172 00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:58,227 [all gasp] 173 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,484 Oh, my God, Jason! I leave you alone for two seconds, 174 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,110 and Santa gets shivved? 175 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,739 I didn't do it. Should we take it out? 176 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:13,242 - Seems like he might still be alive. - Oh, my God. Santa! 177 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:19,123 - Santa, what happened? - Someone stabbed me with a candy cane. 178 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:23,169 That part is so apparent, Santa, and sticking out of your chest. 179 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,253 Who did it? 180 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,506 [groaning] Butter. 181 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,589 - Butter? - Butter? 182 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,632 [Santa groans] 183 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,429 He said "butter" as his last words. 184 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,557 What does that mean? Does that mean anything to you? 185 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,851 You look like you consume a lot of butter. 186 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,853 I've been trying to cut down on that. 187 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:44,398 - Oh God! Johnny. - Johnny? 188 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,818 - Johnny... - Johnny, who... Here, take off the beard. 189 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,322 [Jason] Oh, Jesus. You dragged Sean Hayes into this? 190 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:55,368 Man. Legendary quarterback John Blaze, Hall of Famer. 191 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,746 Johnny was going to help deliver presents to the orphans. 192 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:01,165 Then throw a football over the orphanage. 193 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:05,169 Well, looks like his life plans got intercepted. 194 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,213 - That's wonderful. - Thank you. 195 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,466 Is he still alive a little bit? He might need mouth to mouth. 196 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,553 - I'd love to. - Let's see if that'll bring him back. 197 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,845 - Johnny, - Let's see... 198 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,639 But now he's turning away from me. 199 00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:20,393 - Get in there. - I've gotta plug and open. Plug and open. 200 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:21,894 - Get him. - Plug and open. 201 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,187 Is he still holding? 202 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,855 - And opening. - [Palmer] Save him. 203 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,108 He seems alive to me. That seemed to do it. 204 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,359 [babbles] 205 00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,694 Oh, he died again. 206 00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:34,198 [Terry] Well, we can't say we didn't try. Okay, listen up, everybody. 207 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,659 Legendary quarterback 208 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:40,913 John "Johnny" Blaze was murdered. 209 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,208 And his killer... is in this room. 210 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:48,421 Mayor Palmer, we have to shut this whole place down. 211 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,464 Oh no, we can't lock down the building. 212 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,259 We have to deliver those presents by Christmas morning. 213 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,929 - If we don't, it'll be a PR disaster. - How long we got till sunrise? 214 00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:01,017 - Seven hours, 14 minutes. - Wow, that was so specific. 215 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:06,939 Okay, well, until then, nobody can leave this building. 216 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,150 - Okay? - Fine. 217 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,277 But you better find the killer by dawn, 218 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,946 because if those presents don't go to the kids, 219 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,823 my political career is toast. 220 00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,410 And you better believe if I go down, I'm taking you with me. 221 00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:22,872 I can't imagine I can go further down than I already am. 222 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,498 [screams] 223 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,583 Oh, my God! 224 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,961 Grab her chair. Grab that chair. Let her sit down. 225 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,172 Sit her right down. Sit down, there she is. 226 00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,300 We're trapped! I can't do this! We're all gonna die! 227 00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:37,011 She's having a panic attack. You gotta calm her down. 228 00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,095 You gotta calm down. 229 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,640 - ♪ Sweet little baby, don't you cry ♪ - [shrieking] 230 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,726 No, you are the worst at this. Do something calmer. 231 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,728 She can't... Oh no, no, no. 232 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:49,315 I just want to go home and be with Mr. Whiskers. 233 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,317 - Who's Mr. Whiskers? - My kitty. 234 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,696 - He always calms my fragile nerves. - Well, you're an actor. 235 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,991 - Be a kitty? - Yeah. Mr. Whiskers can't be here 236 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,078 - but we do have Master Bateman. - Mr. Bateman. 237 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:05,998 Just get on all fours like a cat. Get on all fours and be a kitty. 238 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,626 [Terry] There you go. There you go. 239 00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:12,338 [Angie] He is kind of nice. Come on, jump up. 240 00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,131 There we go, just lean across her. 241 00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,759 - There's a soft side of me. - Clean. Clean. 242 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,763 There we go. Little kitty. What else... 243 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,640 You want some milk, don't you? 244 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:23,724 - Yes, please. - Milk! 245 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,351 Right down... There we go. 246 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:29,814 There he is, he'll get down on all fours in the milk. Here we go. 247 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:34,360 And then get right in there, okay. And eyes up. Eyes up. 248 00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,822 - [Jason] Mmm, almond. [laughs] - Eyes up. Lick it eyes up. 249 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,115 There we go. 250 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:42,034 - [exhales] I'm feeling better. - Okay, good. 251 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,494 - Thank you, detective. - Good. 252 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,788 - You're a saint. - You got it. 253 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,290 [Terry] Get up, you're embarrassing yourself! 254 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,917 What are you doing? 255 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,796 God, that's humiliating. 256 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,673 Payback's going to be tough. 257 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,883 - Yeah. - I got a long time to think about it. 258 00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,093 [sirens wailing] 259 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,762 [officer] Lock it up. No one comes in or out. 260 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:07,435 All right, listen. You were there when Santa got murdered. 261 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,396 You remember anything? You hear any unusual sound? 262 00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:13,941 I just remember a little bit of a squeal. 263 00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:15,067 - A squeal? - Yep. 264 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,403 That was all? You didn't hear any other sound? 265 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,448 - You didn't hear... - I think I did hear... 266 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:25,161 Yes, I did. There were three bells and then the lights came on. 267 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:29,790 - You heard three bells? I'm not crazy? - Maybe it was five. It was... ching ching. 268 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,918 Like a Christmas type of shaky thing. 269 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,129 All right, let's examine the body, shall we? 270 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,255 - Okay. - Okay. 271 00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:37,756 [gasps] Gosh. Amber at point. 272 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,468 - You got here quick. - I came as soon as I heard. 273 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,886 Amber Kang, forensics. 274 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:45,723 This is homicide trainee, Jason Bateman, in an elf costume. 275 00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,683 Let's take a look. Whaddya think, J? 276 00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:49,977 - Pop down here real quick. - Yep. 277 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:54,148 Amber, how was Santa killed with just a candy cane? 278 00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:57,985 By it being sharpened to a fine peppermint point. 279 00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,696 - You see how smooth that taper is? - Yeah. 280 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,490 You can't get that with a knife. 281 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,159 You can only get that by licking it. 282 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,369 It in order to lick that much... 283 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,873 - must have loved mint. - And licking. 284 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,375 I guess, and licking, too. 285 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,337 A Santa hater, but a great licker. 286 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,506 Why don't you examine the rest of the body? 287 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,925 See if there's anything you can find here. 288 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,719 - Is there anything here? - We've got... hang on a second. 289 00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:27,181 - [Jason] We've got somebody's name tag. - [Terry] Let me grab it. 290 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,602 The name is smudged. 291 00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:36,273 It's possible that, that is the name tag of the person Santa was struggling with. 292 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,902 That he grabbed it off of whoever killed him. 293 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:46,367 Mayor, can you think of anybody here who had a relationship with Johnny Blaze? 294 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:47,952 Yeah, there is one. 295 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:48,911 Jim Trentley. 296 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,955 - Jim Trentley?! - Absolutely. 297 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:54,250 Sports reporter from Channel Five News? 298 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,876 - Yeah. - Do you know Jim? 299 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,587 - I love his show. - The two of them were really close. 300 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,839 So Jim's in the bar, he's pretty shaken up. 301 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:01,966 Jim's in the bar. 302 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,593 Sounds like we got ourselves our first suspect. 303 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,556 [clears throat] 304 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,226 Mr. Trentley. 305 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,813 [chuckles] Only my wife's divorce attorney calls for Mr. Trentley. 306 00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:17,064 Call me Jim. 307 00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:18,774 [chuckles] Oh, well. 308 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,859 Senior Detective Terry Seattle. 309 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,320 Big fan, and sorry about your divorce. 310 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,404 Yeah, it's fine. 311 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:28,450 Hey, I got myself a new little lady, and she has got a pair 312 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,245 of magic hands, if you know what I'm talking about. 313 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,663 [Terry] Okay. 314 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:36,041 Jason's got some questions here that he needs to ask you. 315 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,293 Just routine stuff. 316 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,962 That's funny, because, I'm usually the one 317 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,380 asking the questions. 318 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:45,384 Hey, hey. What do you think your team did, huh? 319 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,262 - You think you'll make it into playoffs? - [all laugh] 320 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,514 Hey! This is what we're going to do. 321 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,892 Okay? You're going to ask the question. 322 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,561 You're an interviewer. That's the microphone. 323 00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:58,397 You're going to be cameraman, big man, cameraman. 324 00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,773 - Here he comes. - Okay. 325 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,442 That's your camera. 326 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:05,946 We're going to do a classic, old school locker room interview, all right? 327 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,740 - I'm going to get ready. - Okay. 328 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,117 Boy, he's a character, huh? 329 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,954 - [Jim] Don't drink my peppermint schnapps! - Don't know how this is gonna go. 330 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,957 - He seems... You got your... - Go over a few questions. 331 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,710 - You got some questions there? - Should I run... 332 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,921 - [Jim] Okay, I'm ready! - I guess you could... 333 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,255 Let's roll camera! 334 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,506 Okay. 335 00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,301 - Oh, boy. Hey... - Hey there. 336 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:31,805 Folks, thanks for hanging out. I was just hitting the showers. 337 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:32,806 You know? 338 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,600 Like a locker room interview. 339 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,185 You got some questions for me? 340 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,938 Can you describe your relationship with Johnny Blaze? 341 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:43,192 Johnny Blaze and I met 15 years ago, became golfing buddies. 342 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:47,529 - You played golf with Johnny Blaze? - Yes, I did. Every Thursday. 343 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,782 [chuckles] Johnny always won. 344 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,993 I got a hell of a drive, but my short game's for crap. 345 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:57,373 You know, it's my putter! That's why I lost all that money to him. 346 00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,501 You know, and whatever I owed him, it would just go on my tab. 347 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,878 How much money did you lose to Johnny? 348 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,171 Well... 349 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,132 [stammering] About $9 million. 350 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,550 Wow. 351 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:12,054 - You lost $9 million to Johnny Blaze? - It was my damn putter. 352 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,974 I could never get... my short game's for crap. 353 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:18,268 - Yeah, I don't know, golf's hard... - Roger that. 354 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:22,147 Was the money that you owed a source of tension between you two? 355 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,316 - $9 million, safe to bet it was. - Tension. 356 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,901 Come on, now. 357 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,821 We would never let money get in between us, boy. 358 00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,532 Even when he called in the whole debt, recently. 359 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:35,953 Um... he called in the debt? 360 00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:39,331 Oh yeah, of course he did. Last week he called in the debt. 361 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:43,585 Said he needed the cash for some business ventures he was doing, you know? 362 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:48,215 And, you know, when you think about it, me not owing him $9 million 363 00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:52,845 is really the only positive thing to come out of this whole sad event. 364 00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:56,223 What you're saying is you recognize that you would have had... 365 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,808 take some deep bends. 366 00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,351 Um, you... 367 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:03,522 Him, now dead, you would no longer need to... 368 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,650 uh, pay him the $9 million. 369 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,360 Uh... 370 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,740 - Try downward dog, while we're at it. - All right, well, if you say so. 371 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:17,578 - He's a true ginger. I'll give him that. - He's a true ginger. He's super flexible. 372 00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:19,955 He's very flexible and not afraid to do it. 373 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,375 [Terry] Well, thanks for your time, Jim. I do have one request, 374 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,585 and I feel bad asking. 375 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,712 - You want an autograph? - I would love one. 376 00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,757 - [laughs] That's alright, here you go. - He's got his own. 377 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,386 - I come with my own headshot. - Cool. Senior Detective Terry Seattle. 378 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,765 - T-E-R-R-Y. - To my new best friend, Toby Skedaddle. 379 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,433 - Here you go. - Close enough. 380 00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,769 But you know what I want? Now come on. 381 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,729 Oh, yeah. Oh, God! 382 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,191 You're a good hugger. 383 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:52,071 [Terry] After a rocky start, Jason and I were finally clicking as partners. 384 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,950 We were ready to track down more suspects. But fate, and Mayor Palmer, 385 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,118 had other plans. 386 00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,411 Where have you two been? 387 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,456 - [Jason] Well... - [Terry] Uh... Sorry, it took a second 388 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:06,293 just to convince Jim to put his clothes back on, it got dicey. 389 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:09,213 We're here at your service, we're really on top of this. 390 00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:13,008 Are you? It seems clear to me you're not able to handle this on your own. 391 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,385 - Well... - We're doing our best. 392 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,929 - We are... - I don't think so. 393 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,598 - And that's why I've called in backup. - [Terry] What? 394 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:23,268 No, no, no. Come on, Mayor. Last thing I need is another idiot 395 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,938 - that I got to babysit up in here. - Boy. 396 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,397 - Okay? - I'm excited. 397 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,191 - Well. - Come on out, Maya. 398 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,527 This is such a mistake. 399 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,820 Here you go. 400 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,738 - Stand right here, please. - Okay. Hi. 401 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,908 Detective, Jason. This is Maya Rudolph. She's on your team now. 402 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,160 - Incredible to meet you. - Great to meet you. 403 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,663 - Hi. - Senior Detective Terry Seattle. 404 00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:43,872 - Maya Rudolph. - Maya. 405 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,749 - It's great we got help. - Just great. 406 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,753 I need all of you to find the killer and close this case. 407 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,505 - You understand? - Yeah, got it. 408 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:57,386 Great. Now, Terry, you have five hours before the sun rises and your career sets. 409 00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,721 Wow. 410 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,808 - Thought it'd be another... - Super menacing. 411 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,769 - Five hours? A lot of time. - So you work together. 412 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,729 Now we're all working together? 413 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:11,066 - What does your gut tell you so far? - Nothing, I just got here. 414 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,193 - Santa Claus is dead. - I'll tell you what. 415 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,278 [snickering] 416 00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,864 Jason, why don't you tell Maya what's happened? 417 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,700 - Really, Santa Claus is dead? - Tell her what's happened. 418 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,910 Only got about 20 seconds. Here we go. 419 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,662 - Johnny Blaze... - Yeah. 420 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:25,455 - ...was a football player. - Okay. 421 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,791 He's now dead. He was playing Santa. 422 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,710 - Okay. - So, Santa 423 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:33,463 - was killed by a sharp candy cane... - Object? Okay. 424 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,550 ...that was made into a point through licking. 425 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:40,095 - That was made sharp from licking? - Lick made the point. 426 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:44,975 Lick made the point, Santa's dead, Johnny Blaze is not dead, though. 427 00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,644 - Johnny Blaze is dead. - [Terry] Johnny Blaze is dead. 428 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,814 Johnny Blaze is dead. And there was a naked sports caster. 429 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,025 He's a ginger, too. He seemed pretty guilty. 430 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,277 - The naked guy? - Yeah! And drunk, 431 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,864 - and he owed Johnny Blaze $9 million. - [gasps] 432 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,450 - We don't know who killed Santa? - Why we're here. 433 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,410 - We're gonna figure it out. - Obviously. 434 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:07,247 Okay. I feel I'm up to speed. I don't know where we are. 435 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,166 Where are we now? Tell her that. 436 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,168 We're in an office building. 437 00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:16,840 - No, where does the mayor work? - The mayor works at big city, right? 438 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,967 In any city, where does the mayor... 439 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,844 - City Hall. - There we go. 440 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,513 I gotta tell you something, this is a disaster. 441 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:24,473 - No. - Why? 442 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,350 Hello? I'm calling for Johnny Blaze. 443 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,977 I need to cancel his massage appointment tomorrow. 444 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,979 No, he's not rescheduling. 445 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,775 Did you just hear that? She works for Johnny Blaze. 446 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:37,319 We need to go and see what she knows. 447 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,363 About Johnny. Yep, let's do it. 448 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:43,116 Obviously about Johnny, not what she knows about other stuff. 449 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,369 And we don't know who killed him? 450 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,955 We got to find out because otherwise the orphans 451 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,040 aren't going to get their toys, and then 452 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:53,252 the other thing that'll get murdered is the spirit of Christmas. 453 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,587 [cackling] 454 00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:59,424 It's true. All these gifts are for the orphans. 455 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,260 "Get murdered." 456 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:05,389 Okay. Okay, cool. 457 00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,724 [Terry] We put suspect number two in an office 458 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,310 to sweat for a bit before interrogating her. 459 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,814 But getting her to talk would be our toughest mission yet. 460 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:17,776 Oh, my God. Can somebody please tell me why I'm being held in here? 461 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,654 First, let's just get the intros out of the way. 462 00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,948 I am Senior Detective Terry Seattle. 463 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,535 We're going to start right at the beginning here. What is your name? 464 00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:29,246 I'm Mia Briggs, and I was Johnny's personal assistant. 465 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:32,291 - How come you're wearing his name tag? - I was gonna ask. 466 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:33,959 This is actually mine. 467 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,670 Johnny said remembering the name Mia was impossible, 468 00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:39,715 - so he called me Johnny. - We're gonna ask you about Johnny. 469 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,717 - I can't answer anything. - Why not? 470 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,387 I signed an ironclad NDA. Can't answer anything to do with him. 471 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,807 - Ironclad NDA? Not a regular NDA? - It was very intense. 472 00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,518 We don't have time to get to the bottom of this. 473 00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:55,647 We're going to do something I call good cop, bad cop, Terry style. 474 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:58,233 Jason, you're a good cop. Maya, you're a bad cop. 475 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,111 If things don't work out, switch roles. So look for cues. 476 00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,322 - You're good. - You're good, you're bad. 477 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:06,033 You're going to be answering some questions right now! 478 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,743 - Hey, Mia. - Right here. 479 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,661 [Mia] I'm gonna sit, but not talk. 480 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,079 Okay, let's see about that. 481 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,332 - Get over here. - Let's see about that. 482 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,793 - Right here. Good cop, bad, go! - You look awesome today, 483 00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:19,588 That color's very pretty on your complexion. 484 00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,507 When's the last time you saw your boss alive? 485 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,759 This morning. 486 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,303 - Yeah, you murder him? - I can't talk about him. 487 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:28,722 I don't even know why I answered those. 488 00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:30,432 Defensive much? 489 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,143 - You don't want to get her upset? - Switch it. 490 00:22:33,226 --> 00:22:34,936 You're gonna answer the question 491 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,106 or you're going to get carted out of here on a stretcher. 492 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:41,193 - I'm not answering. - Sweetie, I just have a couple questions. 493 00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:44,112 - I love your sweater. - We need something helpful from you. 494 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,781 I can't talk about him. 495 00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:48,325 We got to try new kinds of cops. 496 00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:51,703 Maya, French cop, Jason, Italian cop. 497 00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:57,834 Mia... [speaks French] 498 00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,711 [speaking broken Italian] 499 00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:04,382 [Maya continues speaking French] 500 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:05,467 Smoke. 501 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:10,430 [Maya continues speaking broken French] 502 00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,182 Forget about it. 503 00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:16,311 [Italian accent] Forget about it! What you think you know? 504 00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:18,855 And tell me what I need to know. 505 00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:22,150 [French accent] You know what I think? You Americans put too much 506 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,819 ketchup on your hamburgers. 507 00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:26,863 At the Olive Garden, when you're here, your family. 508 00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,783 When you're here... 509 00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:31,118 Singing cop. 510 00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:35,288 ♪ Let me ask you a couple of questions ♪ 511 00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,917 ♪ Did you murder your boss? ♪ 512 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,252 Liam Neeson cop. 513 00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:43,588 - [imitates Liam] I will protect you. - Pretty good! 514 00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:46,508 - Pretty good. - Okay, Maya, working class British cop. 515 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,719 [British accent] I'm gonna give you five fucking minutes, right? 516 00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,973 And then you're going to fucking tell me. What the fuck. 517 00:23:53,056 --> 00:23:54,516 [laughs] 518 00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:57,018 Only speaks in robot sound-bleeps. 519 00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,771 [imitates robot] Okay. We need... 520 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,984 - some answers out of you. - No words, just bleeps. 521 00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:08,321 [makes robot noises] 522 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:11,074 Listen, you don't want to get the robot mad. 523 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:13,660 - He'll fucking punch you, right? - [robot noise] 524 00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:15,328 - Rick Astley cop. - [chuckles] 525 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:18,874 ♪ Never going to arrest you Because you're my best friend ♪ 526 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:22,127 ♪ Never going to arrest you, Mia ♪ 527 00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,629 - [shouts] Is that enough for you? - I'll talk! 528 00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:25,964 [normal] There it is. 529 00:24:26,047 --> 00:24:28,592 - We did it. - You're running point on this. 530 00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:30,594 Ask about her job working for Johnny. 531 00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:32,596 - [normal] Yes, I have questions. - Yeah. 532 00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:36,141 Okay. What were your responsibilities? 533 00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:38,810 I had his calendar. I would drive him places. 534 00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,104 - Okay. - I faked an ADHD condition 535 00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:43,773 - so that he could snort my Adderall. - Wait, what? 536 00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:47,277 One time, he had me drive through a tornado to get to Sam's Club 537 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,238 because he said, quote, "I need all of the butter." 538 00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:53,074 - [beeping] - Wait, hang on. Sorry. 539 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:55,243 I have to do this really quick. 540 00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:59,706 - What's that? - Okay, so Johnny said that 541 00:24:59,789 --> 00:25:02,542 my breath smelled like a wet sneaker with gonorrhea. 542 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:05,670 So he asked me to spray my mouth with mint every five minutes. 543 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:09,090 So he said unkind things to you often and you like mint? 544 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:12,427 It seems to me... I'm just going to put this out there... 545 00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,638 - Johnny's a little controlling. - Okay, wait. 546 00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:17,432 I feel like you're getting the wrong impression of him. 547 00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:20,227 He really was a very great boss most of the time. 548 00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:22,687 - Doesn't sound like it. - No, he got me a present. 549 00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,981 - Really? - Yes. Look. This beautiful necklace. 550 00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:27,150 - [bells jingling] - He got me this necklace 551 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:29,444 that makes noise so he can know where I am. 552 00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,613 Now I know where he is all times. 553 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:33,740 - Where is he? - Boss heaven. 554 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,367 "Boss heaven?" 555 00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:38,286 Terry, you need to see this. 556 00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:41,665 Who the fuck is that? 557 00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:46,044 Take a look at this. 558 00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:50,257 All the guests were close enough to Johnny to stab him when the lights went out, 559 00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:54,010 but the circuit breaker for the power is all the way over here. 560 00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:57,430 There wasn't time for any guests to cut the lights and stab Johnny. 561 00:25:57,514 --> 00:25:58,932 Know what that means? 562 00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:01,518 Can I just have a moment with my trainees? 563 00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:04,604 Whoever turned off the lights can't be the same person... 564 00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,398 [both]...who killed Johnny. Jinx! 565 00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:08,400 - Oh, my God. - [both laugh] 566 00:26:08,483 --> 00:26:11,236 - What if it's Stretch Armstrong? - The character? 567 00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:15,323 The one with the arms that could reach that and stab at the same time. 568 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,658 You know what this means? 569 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:21,371 This means there's an accomplice. This changes everything. 570 00:26:21,454 --> 00:26:25,333 - [deep voice] So what you're saying is... - [both] There's an accomplice. 571 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,586 And this accomplice is out here, hiding in plain sight, 572 00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:32,841 and their only goal is to try to stop us. We are no longer the hunters. 573 00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:35,218 We are now the hunted. 574 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:39,097 And there's a new hunter who's out there hunting us. 575 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:43,852 The former hunters, being now the hunted... 576 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,729 by the new hunter. 577 00:26:45,812 --> 00:26:48,315 - Are you having a stroke? - [woman] Hello? 578 00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,901 - Who's that? - Oh, shit. The orphans. 579 00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:55,071 - What are they doing here? - They've been waiting to meet Santa. 580 00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:56,781 I forgot about them in the chaos. 581 00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:59,326 If they see Santa dead, my career is over. 582 00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:00,618 Okay, what do we do? 583 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:02,412 - Think. - "Hard Knock Life." 584 00:27:02,495 --> 00:27:04,581 Sweeping. Should I give 'em a broom? 585 00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:06,958 Wait a second! I got an idea. 586 00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:11,588 You stall 'em, Mayor. You two, come with me. 587 00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:13,381 Please. 588 00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:17,594 Hi, hi. So sorry. Sorry for the delay. Hi. Are you kids having fun? 589 00:27:17,677 --> 00:27:20,472 We've been sitting in your office for five hours. 590 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:21,890 - Yeah. - What's going on? 591 00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:24,684 We got him all set here. Let's just get him... 592 00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,019 [laughter] 593 00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:30,565 All right. Okay. All right, guys, we got Santa. Come on. 594 00:27:30,648 --> 00:27:32,025 - No. - Come on back here. 595 00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:34,569 So Santa is having, like, a moment. 596 00:27:34,652 --> 00:27:37,489 Hold that. You manage that, and, Jason, you get there. 597 00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:40,492 And Santa's gonna have that moment for a while. 598 00:27:40,575 --> 00:27:41,743 [Terry] Santa's ready. 599 00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:46,081 Okay. Well, then, come this way, I guess. 600 00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:49,084 Wow. 601 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,128 - [Jason as Santa] Hello. - This is great. Come here. 602 00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:57,050 Hello, boys and girls. Would you like a present? What would you like? 603 00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,344 Why isn't Santa's mouth moving? 604 00:27:59,427 --> 00:28:01,679 Move his mouth, Maya. You keep doing his arms. 605 00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,349 [Jason as Santa] It's moving. There. Can't you see? 606 00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:06,935 Some of the kids want to sit on Santa's lap. 607 00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:09,771 - Please sit here. - Yep. You wanna... Go ahead. 608 00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:13,191 - Right here. - What happened to your beard? 609 00:28:13,274 --> 00:28:17,862 I've got no hair on my bottom of my face. 610 00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:21,074 Be sensitive. It's called alopecia. 611 00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:24,369 Why is there red stuff on your suit? 612 00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:29,082 That's a leaky gut. Please tell me what you want for Christmas. 613 00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:34,003 I'd like a new doll, and an art kit, and a soccer ball. 614 00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:36,548 She doesn't get to ask for three things. 615 00:28:36,631 --> 00:28:40,135 - No, only one. - You don't get to ask for so many things. 616 00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:42,512 You take what you get and you don't get upset. 617 00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:45,140 [sobs] 618 00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:46,766 Santa's so mean. 619 00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,309 Come here, come here. 620 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,895 - Mayor, what is going on? - You're a crybaby. 621 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:52,772 Santa, can you behave yourself? 622 00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:55,191 - You're terrible at this. Switch. - Apologies. 623 00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:57,068 - Please hold. - Okay. 624 00:28:57,152 --> 00:29:00,822 - Say, "Sorry about that." - [laughs] 625 00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:03,450 - Say, "Sorry about that." - [Maya as Santa] So sorry. 626 00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:07,704 Hey, kids, do you like TikTok? I'm Gwen Stefani. 627 00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:10,498 [vocalizing] 628 00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:12,584 I'm dabbing! I mean, I'm dabbing. 629 00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:17,839 - Oh he's dabbing, Santa's dabbing. - Look at me. Yay! TikTok is cool. 630 00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,841 Ticky, tock. Ticky, tick tick tick. 631 00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:21,176 Ticky tok, tickey tok. 632 00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:23,219 Who wants to sit on Santa's lap? 633 00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:26,806 - Okay. What's your name? - My name's Terence. 634 00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:30,143 - Terrence. I like that. - What do you want for Christmas, Terrence? 635 00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:32,353 What do you want for Christmas, Terrence? 636 00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,440 I don't think you can give me what I want, Santa. 637 00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:37,484 Oh yeah? Try me, bitch. 638 00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:40,403 What I want more than anything in the world... 639 00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:42,822 - Yeah? - ...is a mommy and daddy. 640 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:46,284 A real mommy and daddy. A forever mommy and daddy. 641 00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:53,249 I thought maybe you can wish for it along with me, it'll come true. 642 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,376 [crying] Wish for them. Wish for it, Maya. 643 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,670 I'm wishing, I'm wishing. 644 00:29:57,754 --> 00:30:02,467 Come here. Come closer. Put your... Nuzzle your head in my chest. 645 00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:05,428 You're a good baby. You're a good baby. 646 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:08,348 I love you. How about some chocolate? 647 00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:10,183 - Do you like chocolate? - Yeah! 648 00:30:10,266 --> 00:30:11,851 Okay, here, here you go. 649 00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:15,939 Okay... you know what? Great, get your chocolate. 650 00:30:16,022 --> 00:30:17,857 And I think that's good. 651 00:30:17,941 --> 00:30:21,027 - Okay, we did it, everybody let's go. - Eat it up. 652 00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:24,656 Bye, I love you guys. My gosh, I love you guys so much. 653 00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:26,115 - Bye. - Thank you. 654 00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:27,408 I love you. 655 00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:29,536 - [normal] My finger. - I think we're clear. 656 00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:31,287 - My finger hurts. - We're clear. 657 00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:36,709 We did it. We pulled it off. I didn't think we were going to be able to do it. 658 00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:38,837 I think they really bought it. We did it! 659 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,756 I think I finally figured out what Christmas is all about. 660 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:42,841 What is it, Terry? 661 00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:46,636 It's not about parties and noise canceling headphones. It's about hope. 662 00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:49,138 - And we got to give those kids hope. - Yes. 663 00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:52,183 We're gonna catch this killer and save Christmas, right? 664 00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:54,769 - [all scream] - Jesus Christ. 665 00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,855 What did you do to Santa? 666 00:30:56,938 --> 00:31:00,024 Would somebody please help out Angie again? 667 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:03,403 - My gosh. - She really scared me. 668 00:31:03,486 --> 00:31:06,072 She's just... this has been a whole thing with Angie. 669 00:31:06,155 --> 00:31:09,242 - It all started with a big scream. - He had to be a cat for... 670 00:31:09,325 --> 00:31:10,451 - Amber, yes. - Terry. 671 00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:13,121 I cross referenced the party's guest list with Johnny 672 00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:15,665 - looking for connections and I got a hit. - Okay. 673 00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:17,959 Donna Foccacia. 674 00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:19,961 - Like the bread? - Exactly. 675 00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:21,921 - Really? - She's the brains and money 676 00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:24,257 behind tons of athlete branded restaurants. 677 00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:26,134 So she's going to help us how? 678 00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:28,511 Her and Johnny were collaborating on a project. 679 00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,305 You'll find her in the VIP lounge. 680 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:31,973 - The VIP lounge? - Yes. 681 00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:34,434 We have an exclusive club, two floors up. 682 00:31:34,517 --> 00:31:36,519 - Here? - City Hall's got a VIP lounge? 683 00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:38,897 Less than two hours before the orphans wake up 684 00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,857 looking for their presents. Move fast, 685 00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:44,527 and keep your cell phone on. I want to be in constant contact. 686 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,279 Do you know what this means? 687 00:31:46,362 --> 00:31:50,116 The killer's accomplice is still out there and we got targets on our back. 688 00:31:50,199 --> 00:31:51,199 Like we're hunted? 689 00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:53,745 Yeah. If we're going to solve this, 690 00:31:54,120 --> 00:32:00,084 the only way it's going to happen is that if you two go deep undercover. 691 00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:04,756 [Terry] We headed to the VIP lounge with Maya posing as an elite athlete, 692 00:32:04,839 --> 00:32:06,799 and Jason as her manager. 693 00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,260 We kept an eye out for the accomplice, 694 00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:14,265 but it turned out their eye was already on us. 695 00:32:14,349 --> 00:32:18,269 [ominous music] 696 00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:29,280 Okay, this is the VIP area. 697 00:32:29,697 --> 00:32:32,075 I don't understand why they have a VIP room. 698 00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:34,827 - You two are going in there alone. - [both] What? 699 00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:37,956 Don't worry. I'll be with you the entire time. 700 00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:42,001 - Yeah. You gonna pop these in your ears. - Are these drugs? 701 00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:45,588 No, these are just ear pieces, put one in each of your ear. 702 00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:47,966 You're gonna pitch Donna a restaurant idea 703 00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:50,551 and try to get her talking about Johnny Blaze. 704 00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:55,098 And I'm going to find a safe place to hide, and I'll talk you through it. 705 00:32:55,181 --> 00:32:56,474 - You got it? - Okay. 706 00:32:56,557 --> 00:32:58,309 Get in there. 707 00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:08,486 [pants] 708 00:33:14,158 --> 00:33:15,410 Bingo. 709 00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,217 Yippee Ki-Yay... 710 00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:33,803 - [clang] - Motherfucker! 711 00:33:39,183 --> 00:33:43,271 [Donna] I said, you can slap a horse's ass but don't expect it to kiss you. 712 00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,732 [Terry on radio] Jason and Maya, can you hear me? 713 00:33:45,815 --> 00:33:46,816 [both] Yes. 714 00:33:46,899 --> 00:33:50,361 Let's get to work. Did you find Donna? 715 00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:53,656 - Did you find Donna? - No. Don't repeat that. Did you find her? 716 00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:57,452 - You talking about the bread lady? - Yes, that's her. Do what I tell you to. 717 00:33:57,535 --> 00:33:59,996 - Wait till she's alone. Is she alone? - [both] Yes. 718 00:34:00,246 --> 00:34:01,247 Go sit next to her. 719 00:34:05,209 --> 00:34:06,836 - Hi, there. - Hi. Hello. 720 00:34:06,919 --> 00:34:08,337 Can I help you two or... 721 00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:10,548 "Good evening, ma'am. I'm sorry to intrude." 722 00:34:10,631 --> 00:34:13,176 - Sorry to intrude. Good evening. - Good evening. 723 00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:14,260 You're Canadian. 724 00:34:14,343 --> 00:34:16,804 Heavy accent, like a real maple sucker. 725 00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:19,640 And there's a hat under your seat. Check under. 726 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,477 [Terry] On the floor. On the floor. There it is. 727 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,271 - [accent] How's it going, eh? - "Sorry to intrude." 728 00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:28,024 - Sorry to intrude, eh. I'm... - "Gordy Horton." 729 00:34:28,107 --> 00:34:31,527 - Gordy Horton. - "I'm from Chisel Lake up in Manitoba." 730 00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:33,780 Up there in Chisel Lake, in Manitoba. 731 00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:37,116 - "She's real cold up there, eh." - She is real cold up there, eh. 732 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,453 - Yeah, I like to give her. - Yeah, I like to give her. 733 00:34:40,536 --> 00:34:43,039 Feed her, give her. 734 00:34:43,122 --> 00:34:46,209 - I'd like you to meet my client... - "Martina Stroyanka. 735 00:34:46,334 --> 00:34:48,169 I am Bulgarian," with a heavy accent. 736 00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:51,130 - [Bulgarian accent] Martina Stroyanka. - Her name's Martina. 737 00:34:51,214 --> 00:34:53,508 - I'm Bulgarian. - "From Bulgaria." 738 00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:54,759 From Bulgaria. 739 00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:58,679 - "I'm like Mrs. Bulgaria." - I'm like Mrs. Bulgaria. 740 00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:02,100 - And what is it that you do? - "I am basketball sporter." 741 00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:05,853 I am Bulgarian number one basketball sporter. 742 00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:09,107 - "Huge following." - Huge following up over there... 743 00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:11,776 - "Huge!" - Huge! 744 00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:14,153 So big, so big! 745 00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:16,364 - Big! - "Like a big Easter bunny." 746 00:35:16,447 --> 00:35:19,242 Like a big Easter bunny. 747 00:35:19,325 --> 00:35:22,161 "Thing is, Martina's got this restaurant idea..." 748 00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:25,039 The thing is, Martina's got this restaurant idea, eh, 749 00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,667 and it's a real beaut... Or a real getter. 750 00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:31,754 Hey, barkeep, this a mint julep? I said rum and Mountain Dew. 751 00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:35,842 [Donna] Get this shit out of my face. God damn, I hate me a mint julep. 752 00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:40,179 All right, so what now? You got some big idea you want to pitch me? 753 00:35:40,263 --> 00:35:44,600 "I want to open world's first authentic Bulgarian pizzeria." 754 00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:48,980 I want to open world's first authentic Bulgarian pizzeria. 755 00:35:49,063 --> 00:35:52,817 You want to serve, like, a Bulgarian-style pizza? 756 00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:56,737 - "All the workers? Very rude." - This is authentic Bulgarian, okay? 757 00:35:56,821 --> 00:36:00,241 - The workers, very rude. - "And the washrooms are filthy." 758 00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:03,411 - The washrooms are filthy. - "Everything Bulgarian." 759 00:36:03,494 --> 00:36:06,330 - Everything Bulgarian. - "Except the pizza." 760 00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:09,584 - Except the pizza. - "Pizza would be like Domino's." 761 00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:13,379 - The pizza would be like Domino's. - Just roll that back for me. 762 00:36:13,462 --> 00:36:16,299 Well, the experience would be like, uh Bulgarian, eh. 763 00:36:16,382 --> 00:36:18,718 And the ingredients. We're gonna have... 764 00:36:18,801 --> 00:36:21,053 [Terry] "That's wrong. It'd be like Domino's." 765 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:23,806 No, that's wrong. It'd be more like a Domino's. 766 00:36:23,890 --> 00:36:27,018 - "He's so stupid and wrong." - He's so stupid and wrong. 767 00:36:27,101 --> 00:36:29,103 "She loves saying that, but I am stupid." 768 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:31,272 She loves saying that, but I am stupid, eh. 769 00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,608 "You ever experienced a Bulgarian bathroom?" 770 00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:35,735 You ever experienced a Bulgarian bathroom? 771 00:36:35,818 --> 00:36:37,987 "I dropped a huge coiler in there once, eh." 772 00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:41,115 - I dropped a coiler in there once, eh. - "Huge coiler." 773 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,199 Huge coiler! 774 00:36:42,241 --> 00:36:44,202 Huge, like a Thanksgiving coiler. 775 00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:45,286 - Okay. - You know? 776 00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:47,788 - "But the pizza's great." - But the pizza's great. 777 00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,957 I'm running the numbers here. 778 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:54,170 - So, it's actually Domino's Pizza? - Yeah, it would be like Domino's. 779 00:36:54,253 --> 00:36:56,505 - Now you're getting it, eh. - "What you think?" 780 00:36:56,714 --> 00:36:59,425 - What you think? - I got to shoot you straight. 781 00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:02,053 This is the worst idea 782 00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:06,265 I ever been pitched in my whole life. 783 00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:09,352 - Tell her how crazy she is. - You're crazy! 784 00:37:09,435 --> 00:37:11,312 Oh, you're crazy! 785 00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:13,814 - Let me tell you something. - You're crazy. 786 00:37:13,898 --> 00:37:16,359 - You're close. - You're crazy in the face. 787 00:37:16,442 --> 00:37:18,027 - Keep going. - You're crazy. 788 00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:21,530 You make a moose look like a genius. You allergic to money? 789 00:37:22,156 --> 00:37:25,701 You both are dumber than a can of wet salad. 790 00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:30,248 - You're almost as dumb as Johnny Blaze. - [gasps] 791 00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:33,918 - "You got a beef with Johnny Blaze?" - You got a beef with Johnny Blaze? 792 00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:35,878 I got more than a beef with Johnny. 793 00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,546 Can you tell me more about that? 794 00:37:37,630 --> 00:37:41,801 Johnny comes to me, he says, "I want to open up a new barbecue joint." 795 00:37:41,884 --> 00:37:46,764 So I bring Johnny right under my wing. I teach him everything that I know. 796 00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:50,059 The dumb entrée names, the disgustingly large portions, 797 00:37:50,142 --> 00:37:53,479 the obscene amounts of butter on everything, okay? 798 00:37:53,562 --> 00:37:55,606 - So what did Johnny do? - So what'd he do? 799 00:37:55,690 --> 00:38:00,194 He backs out of the deal last minute, so he can open up his own place 800 00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:03,281 to compete with my flagship restaurant in Times Square. 801 00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:08,494 - What's happening with the restaurant now? - Nothing with Johnny's, because he's dead. 802 00:38:08,577 --> 00:38:10,579 Shit, my phone! My phone's ringing! 803 00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:14,709 [cellphone ringing] 804 00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:18,838 [ringing continues] 805 00:38:20,798 --> 00:38:21,798 Abort mission. 806 00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:23,884 I'm compromised. Make an excuse and leave. 807 00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,177 Abort, abort, abort! 808 00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:26,554 Abort, abort, abort! 809 00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:28,848 - I gotta go pee pee. - Me gotta pee pee, too. 810 00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:29,932 [ringing continues] 811 00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:32,810 Why didn't I put my phone in my pocket? 812 00:38:34,228 --> 00:38:36,105 [Terry] Uh-oh. Uh-oh! 813 00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:38,357 - [Terry grunts] - Oh! 814 00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:39,525 God! 815 00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:42,486 - [Maya] Boss? - [Jason] Seattle? 816 00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:45,740 [cellphone continues ringing] 817 00:38:45,823 --> 00:38:47,658 Okay, come here, listen. 818 00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,201 Listen up. 819 00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:52,121 Someone's been trying to call me. My phone... 820 00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:56,459 - Run! - [intense music] 821 00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:06,260 [Terry] Having finally lost the accomplice in the bowels of City Hall, 822 00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:08,471 I was able to answer my phone. 823 00:39:08,554 --> 00:39:12,933 It was a cold call from an air duct repair service slash psychic. 824 00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:17,104 With only 30 minutes till sunrise, we headed back to the party room. 825 00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:21,108 It was time to close this case and save Christmas. 826 00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,444 - [Angie yells, sobs] - Angie, please. 827 00:39:23,527 --> 00:39:26,822 Would you just deal with yourself for... 828 00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:28,074 - [Jason] Hi. - Hi. 829 00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,910 Will you please, please tell me that you know 830 00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:32,953 who killed Johnny Blaze? 831 00:39:33,996 --> 00:39:35,790 - I've gotta... - Um, maybe... 832 00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:36,874 Ugh! 833 00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:41,003 Are you kidding me? I knew you three couldn't handle this alone. 834 00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,464 And that is why I called in more backup. 835 00:39:43,547 --> 00:39:44,840 - What? - What? No, come on. 836 00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:46,384 Come on out, Pete. 837 00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:48,344 - What? - Pete, come on. Come here. 838 00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:51,389 - For the love of Pete! - [Palmer] Can you stand there please? 839 00:39:51,472 --> 00:39:54,141 This is Pete Davidson, he's joining the investigation. 840 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,852 - Oh, I know who he is. - Great to have you on the team. 841 00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:58,562 Why did he just get here? 842 00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:01,273 - [Terry] Where've you been? - [Jason] Fresh eyes, ears. 843 00:40:01,357 --> 00:40:02,608 - I'm confused. - [laughs] 844 00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,026 [Terry] Know anything about 845 00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:05,820 - what we're doing here? - Not at all. 846 00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:09,323 Okay. Jason, Maya, please, in 15 seconds just explain to him. 847 00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,534 A naked guy that hugged Jason. 848 00:40:11,617 --> 00:40:13,994 Yeah. He's a ginger. Santa's been stabbed 849 00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,414 - by a pointy candy cane. - AKA, Johnny Blaze. 850 00:40:16,497 --> 00:40:18,207 Hall of Fame quarterback. 851 00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:19,834 And... 852 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:23,087 Stabbed with a candy cane that was sucked to a point. 853 00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:25,005 - Sucked all the way to a point. - Whoa. 854 00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:26,590 - There was an assistant. - Sure. 855 00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:28,175 [Jason] She seemed guilty. 856 00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:30,594 - Very. - She likes mint breath spray. 857 00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:31,762 - It's her. - So... 858 00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:33,180 - Johnny... - It's her! 859 00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:35,933 - No it's her. She sucked a candy cane... - What do you... 860 00:40:36,016 --> 00:40:37,476 Because she likes mint. 861 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,062 What about the bread lady? And the butter? 862 00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:42,356 - I don't know about bread. - There was butter. 863 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,901 There was empty butter pats on the table in front of the gal 864 00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:48,362 - we were pitching to. - Wait, there were? 865 00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,406 Yeah. I pay attention. 866 00:40:50,489 --> 00:40:53,784 You're out of time, so we gotta decide. We're gonna head over here. 867 00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,828 On your way, each of you grab a present. 868 00:40:55,911 --> 00:40:56,787 - Okay? - Okay. 869 00:40:56,871 --> 00:41:00,207 - Come on, Terry, you got 15 minutes. - Okay. All right. 870 00:41:01,709 --> 00:41:05,129 I know this isn't how you wanted to spend your evening, locked up. 871 00:41:05,212 --> 00:41:08,048 It was the only way to solve the murder of Johnny Blaze. 872 00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:10,009 Time to find out if 873 00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:14,346 Jason, Maya, and Pete, know who is responsible. 874 00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:18,476 Was it Jim Trentley? 875 00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:22,396 Mia Briggs? Or Donna Foccacia? 876 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,648 - [laughs] - Hey, man. 877 00:41:26,108 --> 00:41:28,611 She's had to live with that her whole life. 878 00:41:28,694 --> 00:41:29,862 Dick's like you. 879 00:41:29,945 --> 00:41:33,616 - Fuckin' asshole. - So, each one of you is holding a present. 880 00:41:33,699 --> 00:41:34,825 - Please. - Yeah. 881 00:41:34,909 --> 00:41:38,913 You're going to hand it to the person you think murdered Johnny Blaze. 882 00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:41,332 Maya, you're going to go first. 883 00:41:41,415 --> 00:41:45,085 [tense music playing] 884 00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:50,841 [Jason] Really think about it. 885 00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:53,928 - Here you go. - [all gasp] 886 00:41:54,011 --> 00:41:56,347 What? 887 00:41:56,430 --> 00:42:00,684 - How dare you? I'm so insulted. - I'm just doing my job. 888 00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:04,188 - She's making an informed guess. - Naming the Mayor as the killer? 889 00:42:05,022 --> 00:42:07,399 I think that, that shows real gumption. 890 00:42:07,858 --> 00:42:10,110 I don't know if she did it yet. 891 00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,530 We're going to find out. Jason, it's up to you. 892 00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:16,242 - Who do you think murdered Johnny Blaze? - I got it, thank you. 893 00:42:22,748 --> 00:42:24,833 - Jesus. - Suicide. 894 00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:28,796 - Wow. - [Palmer] This is unorthodox. 895 00:42:29,588 --> 00:42:33,425 - Okay. I've seen his work. - Nothing indicated suicide. 896 00:42:33,509 --> 00:42:38,264 Sure it does. The guy was a quarterback, and then he became Santa at City Hall. 897 00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:41,433 - How did he stab himself with the... - He licked himself lousy 898 00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:45,312 - then stuck it in his gut. - Licked it, then he sticked it. 899 00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:47,022 - Okay? - You guys are good. 900 00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:48,524 We're teeing up Pete here. 901 00:42:48,607 --> 00:42:51,485 - We're fond of him. Here he goes. - [Terry] All right, Pete. 902 00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:54,780 Based on this entire case that you've had the luxury of studying, 903 00:42:54,863 --> 00:42:57,700 who do you think killed Johnny Blaze? 904 00:42:57,783 --> 00:42:59,243 Who's the spearmint lady? 905 00:42:59,326 --> 00:43:01,203 - Pink pants. - Okay, it's her, 906 00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:06,250 But I'm gonna be a dick. 907 00:43:07,459 --> 00:43:10,087 - [Terry gasps] - [Maya laughs] 908 00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:11,839 [groans] 909 00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:13,591 I think you're up to something. 910 00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:15,342 - So, just to recap... - Yep. 911 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,219 Maya, you think the Mayor did it? 912 00:43:17,886 --> 00:43:19,221 The fuck? 913 00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:22,141 Jason, you think that he committed suicide? 914 00:43:22,224 --> 00:43:23,100 I would. 915 00:43:23,183 --> 00:43:24,602 [Maya laughs] 916 00:43:25,311 --> 00:43:27,730 - And Pete, you think I did it? - Yeah. 917 00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:33,235 So we had three suspects, and you chose none of them. 918 00:43:33,319 --> 00:43:34,361 Yes. 919 00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:37,281 - Fantastic. - Now what? 920 00:43:37,364 --> 00:43:40,075 Listen here, there is a mountain of evidence out there. 921 00:43:40,159 --> 00:43:45,039 So whoever did commit this murder, please, now is your chance to come clean. 922 00:43:45,122 --> 00:43:50,252 You may think that all you've done is killed legendary quarterback Johnny Blaze. 923 00:43:50,836 --> 00:43:54,965 But what you've really done is you've committed the most heinous act of all. 924 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:59,678 If we don't get those presents to those orphans in the next 12 minutes 925 00:44:00,512 --> 00:44:04,308 those kids are going to stop believing in Santa 926 00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:09,021 and you will have murdered the spirit of Christmas. 927 00:44:10,731 --> 00:44:11,731 Who did it? 928 00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:18,489 - I can't take it anymore. - [all gasp] 929 00:44:18,572 --> 00:44:20,240 It was me, I did it! 930 00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:22,785 - Why? - How the fuck was I supposed to know that? 931 00:44:22,868 --> 00:44:24,161 I've never met you before. 932 00:44:24,244 --> 00:44:27,873 Legendary Channel Five sports anchor Jim Trentley! 933 00:44:27,956 --> 00:44:31,251 I didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't have the money, 934 00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:35,297 he was going to tell everybody about my debt, ruin my TV career. 935 00:44:35,381 --> 00:44:38,175 Yes, of course. Of course. It had to be you. 936 00:44:38,258 --> 00:44:41,512 Jason heard the sound of jingle bells during the murder. 937 00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:44,390 Jim was the one who had that ugly bell sweater. 938 00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:46,308 - Hey... - Sorry. 939 00:44:46,392 --> 00:44:48,310 Jim was drinking peppermint schnapps. 940 00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:50,979 We know the killer liked the taste of mint. 941 00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:54,817 Donna sent back her mint julep. She hated it when you were at the bar. 942 00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:58,153 This a mint julep? I said rum and Mountain Dew, get this shit out. 943 00:44:58,237 --> 00:45:02,241 Finally there's the name tag issue. Everybody's name tag was smudged. 944 00:45:02,324 --> 00:45:06,078 We found the smudged name tag in the hand of Johnny Blaze. 945 00:45:06,161 --> 00:45:08,914 Which means the killer must've made a second name tag. 946 00:45:08,997 --> 00:45:14,628 Only one person didn't have a smudged name tag and that was Jim Trentley. 947 00:45:14,711 --> 00:45:16,171 Call me Jim. 948 00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:18,924 And his was signed with a brand new red Sharpie 949 00:45:19,007 --> 00:45:22,511 that matched the headshot that you signed for me. 950 00:45:22,594 --> 00:45:23,637 Wow. 951 00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:26,890 I'm going to jail, aren't I? 952 00:45:26,974 --> 00:45:30,936 You're not only going to jail, you're also going to hell. 953 00:45:31,019 --> 00:45:32,646 Do they have golf in jail? 954 00:45:32,729 --> 00:45:34,273 Golf! Of course! 955 00:45:34,356 --> 00:45:38,235 That adds up. We thought Johnny Blaze's last words were "butter." 956 00:45:38,318 --> 00:45:41,905 - Butter. - But it wasn't "butter." It was "putter." 957 00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:45,409 - Oh. - Oh, my gosh. 958 00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:47,744 - That's a twist. - This guy's crying. 959 00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:49,913 It's so fucking sad. 960 00:45:49,997 --> 00:45:52,541 He was trying to tell us who the killer was. 961 00:45:52,624 --> 00:45:54,084 But there was an accomplice. 962 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,170 - Who turned off the lights? - Thank you. 963 00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:59,923 The accomplice was Jim Trentley's new girl, Angie! 964 00:46:00,382 --> 00:46:01,425 What? 965 00:46:01,508 --> 00:46:03,927 Jim told us his new lady friend had magic hands. 966 00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:07,806 Guess who was wrapping the orphan's presents at lightning speed? 967 00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:09,975 She was the one hunting us in the hallway. 968 00:46:10,058 --> 00:46:12,269 She wasn't out of breath from a panic attack, 969 00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:17,566 but from running the hallways in a ski mask, trying to take us out. 970 00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:22,654 Jim, you idiot! I told you to not talk about my magic hands. 971 00:46:22,738 --> 00:46:27,576 - I love you, Boo Boo. - Hey, Jim, why don't you go fuck yourself? 972 00:46:27,659 --> 00:46:29,953 Officers, take him away. 973 00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:34,082 But nobody even gave me a present. If nobody got it... 974 00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:36,502 Can't I... That's rude. 975 00:46:37,836 --> 00:46:41,632 - Well, thanks for having me. - That was crazy. Thank God it's all over. 976 00:46:41,715 --> 00:46:42,883 Detective! 977 00:46:42,966 --> 00:46:46,094 - Uh-oh. - You wanted a present from the table? 978 00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:51,058 Well, my magic hands wrapped something nice and big for you, 979 00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:54,186 and it's going to blow you away! 980 00:46:55,687 --> 00:46:58,982 - Oh, no. - [beeping] 981 00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:00,067 Careful. 982 00:47:01,068 --> 00:47:03,028 [all gasp] 983 00:47:03,111 --> 00:47:04,571 A real bomb! 984 00:47:05,739 --> 00:47:08,534 - Look, we need to evacuate. - No time for that. 985 00:47:08,617 --> 00:47:10,827 This entire building is going to blow. 986 00:47:10,911 --> 00:47:14,039 - Fifty-five seconds, MacGruber! - Let me see it. 987 00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:17,668 Oh my God! There are three wires, red, green, and blue. 988 00:47:17,751 --> 00:47:19,169 - Right. - No! 989 00:47:20,003 --> 00:47:21,880 - You're lucky. - [Jason] Good instincts. 990 00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:23,340 We're not prepared for that. 991 00:47:23,423 --> 00:47:25,759 Cut the correct wire, the bomb will disarm. 992 00:47:25,842 --> 00:47:28,345 If you cut the wrong one, we all die. 993 00:47:28,428 --> 00:47:32,349 You seem comfortable with explosives. You have to run point on this. 994 00:47:32,432 --> 00:47:34,268 Cut the right one, you decide. 995 00:47:34,351 --> 00:47:37,229 Consensus. Talk together about what to do. 996 00:47:37,312 --> 00:47:39,565 [Jason] I think maybe red, the pliers are red. 997 00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:42,526 I think blue because it's the only non Christmas color. 998 00:47:42,609 --> 00:47:44,444 We're running out of time here. 999 00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:47,573 I'm thinking we just go like, three, two, one, go? 1000 00:47:47,656 --> 00:47:49,700 Or do we go one, two, three? 1001 00:47:49,783 --> 00:47:52,786 - Do we do it on three? - We don't have time for this! 1002 00:47:52,869 --> 00:47:53,870 Here we go! 1003 00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:57,833 Two! One! 1004 00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:04,298 [cheering] 1005 00:48:06,258 --> 00:48:09,928 Pete Davidson saved Christmas and saved the day. 1006 00:48:10,012 --> 00:48:11,263 You're the hero. 1007 00:48:11,346 --> 00:48:13,390 [all] Pete, Pete, Pete, 1008 00:48:13,473 --> 00:48:16,768 Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, 1009 00:48:16,852 --> 00:48:21,064 - Pete, Pete, Pete! - That was some crazy shit. 1010 00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:22,065 - Fantastic. - Wow. 1011 00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:24,901 Pete, you came in last second, you really saved the day. 1012 00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:26,236 - Thanks. - [Maya] Good job. 1013 00:48:26,403 --> 00:48:30,324 You trusted your gut. It's a holiday I'm never gonna forget. I know. 1014 00:48:30,407 --> 00:48:32,951 I want to thank you all for coming down here. 1015 00:48:33,035 --> 00:48:36,371 It's been an incredible journey, but... 1016 00:48:36,455 --> 00:48:37,789 Thanks so much, Terry. 1017 00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:40,667 What's wrong, Mayor? 1018 00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:44,880 Well, the day may be saved, but not the spirit of Christmas. 1019 00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:48,592 - God dang it, the orphans. - We only have six minutes to sunrise. 1020 00:48:48,675 --> 00:48:51,428 Those kids are about to wake up with no presents at all. 1021 00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:54,640 No, they're not. Somebody get me the Santa suit. 1022 00:48:54,723 --> 00:48:58,769 I'm dreaming of an orange Christmas. 1023 00:48:58,852 --> 00:49:03,857 [rock music] 1024 00:49:03,940 --> 00:49:07,903 On Donnor, on Blitzen, on Rampage! 1025 00:49:17,996 --> 00:49:21,124 Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas! 1026 00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:22,793 [gifts shattering, crunching] 1027 00:49:22,959 --> 00:49:26,004 - Santa, you really came! - And your beard grew back! 1028 00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:27,381 [Terry] Of course I came. 1029 00:49:27,464 --> 00:49:30,425 Every good girl and boy deserves a present on Christmas. 1030 00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:38,725 Thank you, Terry. I mean, Santa. You saved Christmas. 1031 00:49:38,809 --> 00:49:44,606 On the contrary, Christmas saved me. 1032 00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:53,072 What? 1033 00:49:56,326 --> 00:49:58,995 "To Terry, from Santa?" 1034 00:50:04,292 --> 00:50:09,172 It's a Christmas miracle. My noise canceling headphones! 1035 00:50:09,923 --> 00:50:13,218 - Where's your present, Terry? - I didn't get one. 1036 00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:17,431 I guess Santa felt I didn't deserve one. 1037 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,350 No, I'm sure we just can't... 1038 00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:23,687 - Maybe Santa... - They really work! I can't hear shit! 1039 00:50:26,231 --> 00:50:27,231 Terry! 1040 00:50:28,233 --> 00:50:30,402 Terry, those aren't for you. 1041 00:50:30,485 --> 00:50:34,281 - Those aren't for you! - I really can't hear shit. 1042 00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:35,991 Terry! 1043 00:50:36,074 --> 00:50:38,535 It was for Orphan Terry. 1044 00:50:39,661 --> 00:50:41,329 [Terry] The holiday spirit. 1045 00:50:41,413 --> 00:50:44,124 You can't wrap it up and put it under the tree, 1046 00:50:44,207 --> 00:50:47,961 but it's still the most valuable gift I've ever received. 1047 00:50:48,628 --> 00:50:50,881 After the headphones, of course. 1048 00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:01,475 [end theme music plays] 1049 00:51:58,156 --> 00:51:59,324 [music fades] 1050 00:52:02,285 --> 00:52:03,578 [growling]