1
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:09,884
[narrator] <i>Jason Bateman and Maya Rudolph
are about to guest star</i>

2
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,178
<i>on the</i> Murderville Christmas Special.

3
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:17,684
<i>But here's the catch, everyone
has been given a script... except them.</i>

4
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:21,354
Hi, my name's Jason Bateman.
I am here doing <i>Murderville.</i>

5
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,772
I'm Maya Rudolph.

6
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,275
I'm about to do <i>Murderville.</i>

7
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,736
I have been given no script.

8
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:32,073
- I have not been given a script.
- What I know is next to nothing.

9
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,659
I love that I didn't have to
learn any lines.

10
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,162
[Jason] <i>I've seen no actors.
I've seen no sets.</i>

11
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:40,040
I'm going to have to figure out
who the murderer is.

12
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:44,210
<i>And that makes me nervous.
So, I don't know who's here,</i>

13
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:47,881
what's happening... [chuckles]
...and what I'm going to do,

14
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:50,049
which I'm delighted by.

15
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[Terry] <i>The holidays,</i>

16
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:05,899
<i>a magical time each year
when we set aside our differences</i>

17
00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:10,487
<i>and unite around one common belief,
that Christmas sucks ass.</i>

18
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<i>At least that's what I used to think.
My name is Terry Seattle.</i>

19
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<i>I'm a senior homicide detective
with a failed marriage</i>

20
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,581
<i>and moderate to severe
plaque psoriasis.</i>

21
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<i>And this is a story of one magical night,
when my whole world changed.</i>

22
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Bingo.

23
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- [phone rings]
- [grunts]

24
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[groans]

25
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- What is it Rhonda-slash-Chief?
<i>- Merry Christmas, Terry.</i>

26
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Is it? Is it a merry Christmas?

27
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<i>I'll be quick, 'cause I'm in
Hawaii with Daz,</i>

28
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,191
<i>we booked paddle boarding lessons.</i>

29
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Did I forget to cash
an alimony check again?

30
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,946
<i>Yes, but that's not why I'm calling.</i>

31
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<i>Mayor Palmer's hosting
City Hall's annual holiday party,</i>

32
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<i>and there's been a mix up.</i>

33
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<i>She needs someone to run security details,
so get down there ASAP.</i>

34
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Just 'cause I hate Christmas,
doesn't mean I want to work.

35
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Besides, one person
can't handle that event.

36
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<i>- Which is why I got you a new partner.</i>
- What?

37
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,505
No. Chief, come on!

38
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- [doorbell rings]
- [groans]

39
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<i>I'll text you the details. Have fun!</i>

40
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:17,595
I hope you fall off the paddle board,
then sharks circle you.

41
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- But don't eat... Ah, she hung up.
- [doorbell rings]

42
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I heard you the first time.

43
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,394
[sighs]

44
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,022
Hey.

45
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,943
Well, if it isn't the Ghost
of Christmas ass.

46
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That's not complimentary.

47
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,363
- Good to see you.
- Come on in.

48
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:39,200
You are Detective Seattle perhaps,
I hope.

49
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,244
Look at this guy,
already got questions.

50
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,954
- Pop a seat right here.
- Yep.

51
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,582
- Can I come around?
- I wish you would.

52
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:46,875
Hi.

53
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,503
- [sighs]
- Is this breakfast?

54
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:54,173
- You always talk when you're nervous?
- [laughs]

55
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,384
- Let's start with the basics.
- Okay.

56
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,927
- What's your name?
- Jason.

57
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:00,889
- Bateman.
- Okay.

58
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:04,100
What's your profession before
you became a homicide trainee?

59
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,144
I used to be an actor. I'm looking for

60
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- a career change.
- Kicked out?

61
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- No, not kicked out.
- Close?

62
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,401
- No, it was totally voluntary.
- What kind of roles would you play?

63
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Just a normal, average, dumb white guy.

64
00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,156
- That makes sense.
- Sorry?

65
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:21,159
You come waltzing in here,
thinking you can do my job.

66
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,327
- No.
- I don't...

67
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,079
- You ever worked security before?
- No, I have not.

68
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I got three callbacks for one
security part, but didn't get that one.

69
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- Like a commercial?
- Huh?

70
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No, no. How dare you.

71
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We're gonna be working
a security detail down at City Hall.

72
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Number one thing
is threat assessment.

73
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,676
Think you'd be good at that?

74
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,971
- Well, I...
- See any threat around you right now?

75
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:45,099
- I see a lot of VHS tapes.
- Jason Bateman,

76
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:48,937
do you see any other kind of threat
other than these items?

77
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Is there anything threatening to you?

78
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- Nothing at all in front of me.
- Huh.

79
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- [door slams open]
- [chainsaw whirring]

80
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[Terry yelling]

81
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:04,494
Sit down!
Sit down!

82
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,830
You see that?

83
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,959
You did not assess the threat!
Sit down!

84
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,128
You let a raving lunatic into my home!

85
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:18,007
Lucky for you, it was
my former trainee, Marshawn Lynch.

86
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,260
- Holy. Good Lord.
- Shit!

87
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,220
- Big fan.
- The best damn

88
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,931
homicide trainee I ever had.

89
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- You did not assess the threat.
- He wasn't in the room yet.

90
00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:32,397
Exactly. You should be thinking
about outside of the room.

91
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,441
- Is there more trouble outside?
- You tell us.

92
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:38,528
Is everybody going to die?
Are we going to die

93
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,572
- in your hands, Jason Bateman?
- I don't want that to happen.

94
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,701
- How can I help?
- You gotta stay alive.

95
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,661
- Okay.
- Put your face in here.

96
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,621
Look at this guy. Listen to him.

97
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:52,375
- Shit, that is the fucking <i>Ozark </i>dude.
- Thank you.

98
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,669
[Terry pants]

99
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,879
- You're the best.
- No problem, Chief.

100
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Make yourself at home,
whatever you want.

101
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,592
- That's it for him?
- He's going to chill out.

102
00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,720
It's Christmas.
Let's get out of here.

103
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,305
- Let's do it.
- [phone chimes]

104
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,891
- All right, hang on a second. Uh-oh.
- [Jason chuckles]

105
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,060
This is just
something from the chief here.

106
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What size booties do you wear?

107
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[Terry] <i>Turns out the holiday party
was short an elf,</i>

108
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,402
<i>so Jason was pressed
into emergency service.</i>

109
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:23,364
<i>Little did we know his job would soon go
from spreading cheer,</i>

110
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,199
<i>to solving murder.</i>

111
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Look at this.

112
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- They smudged their names.
- Pretty smeary.

113
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[Terry] Amateur hour.
You guys never heard of a Sharpie?

114
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,293
You ready?
How you feeling? Feeling good?

115
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,253
I'm happy now. We're at a party.

116
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,756
Good. The Mayor said that
she needed Santa's elf

117
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as a helper, I wanna know
you're here to help.

118
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,552
- Are you here to help?
- I'm here to help.

119
00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,637
Are you getting into a holiday outfit?

120
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,432
I need you looking alive,
looking for threats.

121
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,392
Look at all these presents. Wow!

122
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,227
These are incredible.

123
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:56,022
What, do we just
grab one of these... Angus?

124
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:59,984
Angie, and no.
This toy drive is for the local orphanage.

125
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,820
Later, Santa will deliver
the gifts to the kids.

126
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:05,907
Oh my gosh! Noise canceling headphones!
These are the best.

127
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,826
- You ever used these before?
- I'd love some right now.

128
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,787
- They cancel out the noise.
- Yep.

129
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,955
- Can I have these?
- [Angie] Absolutely not.

130
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,875
- Each present is for a specific orphan.
- Wow.

131
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:19,504
These orphans, parents die
and people just give you presents?

132
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,673
Wish my parents had just died like that.
[quietly] Grab those.

133
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,592
- Three presents?
- No, these.

134
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,260
Stuff 'em in. In your vest.

135
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,554
I've always wanted a pair of these.

136
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:31,474
You got it? Zip 'em right in there.
That looks good.

137
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,434
- Detective.
- Mayor Palmer, how are you?

138
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,270
Detective Seattle, thank you
for coming on short notice.

139
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,814
And you must be?

140
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:42,693
- Jason, trainee.
- How good are you, Jason?

141
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,029
- I can be the best, the best ever.
- Great.

142
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,031
You're practiced at being an elf?

143
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:50,535
I feel like I've got the outfit on
and ready to go.

144
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:53,663
Do you have, like, a...
maybe, like, an elf dance?

145
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,540
That'd be great.

146
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Yeah, let's see that.

147
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,835
- Okay.
- [Terry] And sort make,

148
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,129
- like a song, an original song.
- Yeah.

149
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,964
- Caw caw caw!
- That'd be...

150
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,883
- [Terry chuckles]
- Not mine.

151
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,218
- [Terry] Hang on.
- Wow.

152
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,303
Sorry, I brought these for the orphans.

153
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,889
They look like
the one you had before.

154
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,141
- Damn it.
- Ready?

155
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,268
- Let's do it.
- Come here, listen to Santa.

156
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,894
He'll tell you what's going on.

157
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,856
- Ho ho ho!
- Stand right here, next to Santa.

158
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,108
My little elf helper has arrived.

159
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,986
Okay, don't be distracted
by all this Christmas crap.

160
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:29,282
You're here for threat assessment.
Keep your eyes peeled for any danger.

161
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,868
- Terry, can I talk to you for a second?
- Yep.

162
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,537
Alright, Terry, I really need
tonight to go smoothly.

163
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,832
No problems. I'm down in the polls,
I can't take the negative PR.

164
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,668
Mayor Palmer,
don't you worry about it, okay?

165
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:44,213
Nothing's going to go wrong.
Terry Seattle is on the case!

166
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,923
- [lights click off]
- [all gasp]

167
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,550
[suspenseful music playing]

168
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:49,802
[bells jingling]

169
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,345
- [man grunts, yells]
- [thud]

170
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,057
[lights click on]

171
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,851
Here we go.

172
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:58,227
[all gasp]

173
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,484
Oh, my God, Jason!
I leave you alone for two seconds,

174
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,110
and Santa gets shivved?

175
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,739
I didn't do it. Should we take it out?

176
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:13,242
- Seems like he might still be alive.
- Oh, my God. Santa!

177
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:19,123
- Santa, what happened?
- Someone stabbed me with a candy cane.

178
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:23,169
That part is so apparent, Santa,
and sticking out of your chest.

179
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,253
Who did it?

180
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,506
[groaning] Butter.

181
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,589
- Butter?
- Butter?

182
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,632
[Santa groans]

183
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,429
He said "butter" as his last words.

184
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,557
What does that mean?
Does that mean anything to you?

185
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,851
You look like you consume a lot of butter.

186
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,853
I've been trying to cut down on that.

187
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:44,398
- Oh God! Johnny.
- Johnny?

188
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,818
- Johnny...
- Johnny, who... Here, take off the beard.

189
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,322
[Jason] Oh, Jesus.
You dragged Sean Hayes into this?

190
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:55,368
Man. Legendary quarterback
John Blaze, Hall of Famer.

191
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,746
Johnny was going to help
deliver presents to the orphans.

192
00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:01,165
Then throw a football
over the orphanage.

193
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:05,169
Well, looks like
his life plans got intercepted.

194
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,213
- That's wonderful.
- Thank you.

195
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,466
Is he still alive a little bit?
He might need mouth to mouth.

196
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,553
- I'd love to.
- Let's see if that'll bring him back.

197
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,845
- Johnny,
- Let's see...

198
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,639
But now he's turning away from me.

199
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:20,393
- Get in there.
- I've gotta plug and open. Plug and open.

200
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:21,894
- Get him.
- Plug and open.

201
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,187
Is he still holding?

202
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,855
- And opening.
- [Palmer] Save him.

203
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,108
He seems alive to me.
That seemed to do it.

204
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,359
[babbles]

205
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,694
Oh, he died again.

206
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:34,198
[Terry] Well, we can't say we didn't try.
Okay, listen up, everybody.

207
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,659
Legendary quarterback

208
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:40,913
John "Johnny" Blaze was murdered.

209
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,208
And his killer... is in this room.

210
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:48,421
Mayor Palmer, we have to
shut this whole place down.

211
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,464
Oh no, we can't lock down the building.

212
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,259
We have to deliver those presents
by Christmas morning.

213
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,929
- If we don't, it'll be a PR disaster.
- How long we got till sunrise?

214
00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:01,017
- Seven hours, 14 minutes.
- Wow, that was so specific.

215
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:06,939
Okay, well, until then,
nobody can leave this building.

216
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,150
- Okay?
- Fine.

217
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,277
But you better find the killer by dawn,

218
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,946
because if those presents
don't go to the kids,

219
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,823
my political career is toast.

220
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,410
And you better believe if I go down,
I'm taking you with me.

221
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:22,872
I can't imagine I can go
further down than I already am.

222
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,498
[screams]

223
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,583
Oh, my God!

224
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,961
Grab her chair.
Grab that chair. Let her sit down.

225
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,172
Sit her right down.
Sit down, there she is.

226
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,300
We're trapped! I can't do this!
We're all gonna die!

227
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:37,011
She's having a panic attack.
You gotta calm her down.

228
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,095
You gotta calm down.

229
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,640
<i>- ♪ Sweet little baby, don't you cry ♪</i>
- [shrieking]

230
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,726
No, you are the worst at this.
Do something calmer.

231
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,728
She can't... Oh no, no, no.

232
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:49,315
I just want to go home
and be with Mr. Whiskers.

233
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,317
- Who's Mr. Whiskers?
- My kitty.

234
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,696
- He always calms my fragile nerves.
- Well, you're an actor.

235
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,991
- Be a kitty?
- Yeah. Mr. Whiskers can't be here

236
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,078
- but we do have Master Bateman.
- Mr. Bateman.

237
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:05,998
Just get on all fours like a cat.
Get on all fours and be a kitty.

238
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,626
[Terry] There you go.
There you go.

239
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:12,338
[Angie] He is kind of nice.
Come on, jump up.

240
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,131
There we go, just lean across her.

241
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,759
- There's a soft side of me.
- Clean. Clean.

242
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,763
There we go.
Little kitty. What else...

243
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,640
You want some milk, don't you?

244
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:23,724
- Yes, please.
- Milk!

245
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,351
Right down... There we go.

246
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:29,814
There he is, he'll get down
on all fours in the milk. Here we go.

247
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:34,360
And then get right in there, okay.
And eyes up. Eyes up.

248
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,822
- [Jason] Mmm, almond. [laughs]
- Eyes up. Lick it eyes up.

249
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,115
There we go.

250
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:42,034
- [exhales] I'm feeling better.
- Okay, good.

251
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,494
- Thank you, detective.
- Good.

252
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,788
- You're a saint.
- You got it.

253
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,290
[Terry] Get up,
you're embarrassing yourself!

254
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,917
What are you doing?

255
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,796
God, that's humiliating.

256
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,673
Payback's going to be tough.

257
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,883
- Yeah.
- I got a long time to think about it.

258
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,093
[sirens wailing]

259
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,762
[officer] Lock it up.
No one comes in or out.

260
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:07,435
All right, listen. You were there
when Santa got murdered.

261
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,396
You remember anything?
You hear any unusual sound?

262
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:13,941
I just remember a little bit of a squeal.

263
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:15,067
- A squeal?
- Yep.

264
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,403
That was all?
You didn't hear any other sound?

265
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,448
- You didn't hear...
- I think I did hear...

266
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:25,161
Yes, I did. There were three bells
and then the lights came on.

267
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:29,790
- You heard three bells? I'm not crazy?
- Maybe it was five. It was... ching ching.

268
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,918
Like a Christmas type of shaky thing.

269
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,129
All right, let's examine the body,
shall we?

270
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,255
- Okay.
- Okay.

271
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:37,756
[gasps] Gosh.
Amber at point.

272
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,468
- You got here quick.
- I came as soon as I heard.

273
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,886
Amber Kang, forensics.

274
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:45,723
This is homicide trainee,
Jason Bateman, in an elf costume.

275
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,683
Let's take a look.
Whaddya think, J?

276
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:49,977
- Pop down here real quick.
- Yep.

277
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:54,148
Amber, how was Santa killed
with just a candy cane?

278
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:57,985
By it being sharpened
to a fine peppermint point.

279
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,696
- You see how smooth that taper is?
- Yeah.

280
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,490
You can't get that with a knife.

281
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,159
You can only get that by licking it.

282
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,369
It in order to lick that much...

283
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,873
- must have loved mint.
- And licking.

284
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,375
I guess, and licking, too.

285
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,337
A Santa hater, but a great licker.

286
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,506
Why don't you examine
the rest of the body?

287
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,925
See if there's anything
you can find here.

288
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,719
- Is there anything here?
- We've got... hang on a second.

289
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:27,181
- [Jason] We've got somebody's name tag.
- [Terry] Let me grab it.

290
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,602
The name is smudged.

291
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:36,273
It's possible that, that is the name tag
of the person Santa was struggling with.

292
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,902
That he grabbed it off
of whoever killed him.

293
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:46,367
Mayor, can you think of anybody here
who had a relationship with Johnny Blaze?

294
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:47,952
Yeah, there is one.

295
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:48,911
Jim Trentley.

296
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,955
- Jim Trentley?!
- Absolutely.

297
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:54,250
Sports reporter from Channel Five News?

298
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,876
- Yeah.
- Do you know Jim?

299
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,587
- I love his show.
- The two of them were really close.

300
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,839
So Jim's in the bar,
he's pretty shaken up.

301
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:01,966
Jim's in the bar.

302
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,593
Sounds like we got
ourselves our first suspect.

303
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,556
[clears throat]

304
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,226
Mr. Trentley.

305
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,813
[chuckles] Only my wife's divorce attorney
calls for Mr. Trentley.

306
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:17,064
Call me Jim.

307
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:18,774
[chuckles] Oh, well.

308
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,859
Senior Detective Terry Seattle.

309
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,320
Big fan, and sorry about your divorce.

310
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,404
Yeah, it's fine.

311
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:28,450
Hey, I got myself a new little lady,
and she has got a pair

312
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,245
of magic hands,
if you know what I'm talking about.

313
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,663
[Terry] Okay.

314
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:36,041
Jason's got some questions here
that he needs to ask you.

315
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,293
Just routine stuff.

316
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,962
That's funny, because,
I'm usually the one

317
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,380
asking the questions.

318
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:45,384
Hey, hey. What do you think
your team did, huh?

319
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,262
- You think you'll make it into playoffs?
- [all laugh]

320
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,514
Hey!
This is what we're going to do.

321
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,892
Okay?
You're going to ask the question.

322
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,561
You're an interviewer.
That's the microphone.

323
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:58,397
You're going to be cameraman,
big man, cameraman.

324
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,773
- Here he comes.
- Okay.

325
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,442
That's your camera.

326
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:05,946
We're going to do a classic, old school
locker room interview, all right?

327
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,740
- I'm going to get ready.
- Okay.

328
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,117
Boy, he's a character, huh?

329
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,954
- [Jim] Don't drink my peppermint schnapps!
- Don't know how this is gonna go.

330
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,957
- He seems... You got your...
- Go over a few questions.

331
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,710
- You got some questions there?
- Should I run...

332
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,921
- [Jim] Okay, I'm ready!
- I guess you could...

333
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,255
Let's roll camera!

334
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,506
Okay.

335
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,301
- Oh, boy. Hey...
- Hey there.

336
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:31,805
Folks, thanks for hanging out.
I was just hitting the showers.

337
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:32,806
You know?

338
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,600
Like a locker room interview.

339
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,185
You got some questions for me?

340
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,938
Can you describe your relationship
with Johnny Blaze?

341
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:43,192
Johnny Blaze and I met 15 years ago,
became golfing buddies.

342
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:47,529
- You played golf with Johnny Blaze?
- Yes, I did. Every Thursday.

343
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,782
[chuckles] Johnny always won.

344
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,993
I got a hell of a drive,
but my short game's for crap.

345
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:57,373
You know, it's my putter!
That's why I lost all that money to him.

346
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,501
You know, and whatever I owed him,
it would just go on my tab.

347
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,878
How much money did you lose to Johnny?

348
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,171
Well...

349
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,132
[stammering] About $9 million.

350
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,550
Wow.

351
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:12,054
- You lost $9 million to Johnny Blaze?
- It was my damn putter.

352
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,974
I could never get...
my short game's for crap.

353
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:18,268
- Yeah, I don't know, golf's hard...
- Roger that.

354
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:22,147
Was the money that you owed
a source of tension between you two?

355
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,316
- $9 million, safe to bet it was.
- Tension.

356
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,901
Come on, now.

357
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,821
We would never let money
get in between us, boy.

358
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,532
Even when he called in
the whole debt, recently.

359
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:35,953
Um... he called in the debt?

360
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:39,331
Oh yeah, of course he did.
Last week he called in the debt.

361
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:43,585
Said he needed the cash for some
business ventures he was doing, you know?

362
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:48,215
And, you know, when you think about it,
me not owing him $9 million

363
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:52,845
is really the only positive thing
to come out of this whole sad event.

364
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:56,223
What you're saying is you recognize that
you would have had...

365
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,808
take some deep bends.

366
00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,351
Um, you...

367
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:03,522
Him, now dead,
you would no longer need to...

368
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,650
uh, pay him the $9 million.

369
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,360
Uh...

370
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,740
- Try downward dog, while we're at it.
- All right, well, if you say so.

371
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:17,578
- He's a true ginger. I'll give him that.
- He's a true ginger. He's super flexible.

372
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:19,955
He's very flexible
and not afraid to do it.

373
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,375
[Terry] Well, thanks for your time, Jim.
I do have one request,

374
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,585
and I feel bad asking.

375
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,712
- You want an autograph?
- I would love one.

376
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,757
- [laughs] That's alright, here you go.
- He's got his own.

377
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,386
- I come with my own headshot.
- Cool. Senior Detective Terry Seattle.

378
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,765
- T-E-R-R-Y.
- To my new best friend, Toby Skedaddle.

379
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,433
- Here you go.
- Close enough.

380
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,769
But you know what I want?
Now come on.

381
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,729
Oh, yeah. Oh, God!

382
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,191
You're a good hugger.

383
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:52,071
[Terry] <i>After a rocky start, Jason and I
were finally clicking as partners.</i>

384
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,950
<i>We were ready to track down more suspects.
But fate, and Mayor Palmer,</i>

385
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,118
<i>had other plans.</i>

386
00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,411
Where have you two been?

387
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,456
- [Jason] Well...
- [Terry] Uh... Sorry, it took a second

388
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:06,293
just to convince Jim
to put his clothes back on, it got dicey.

389
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:09,213
We're here at your service,
we're really on top of this.

390
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:13,008
Are you? It seems clear to me you're
not able to handle this on your own.

391
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,385
- Well...
- We're doing our best.

392
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,929
- We are...
- I don't think so.

393
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,598
- And that's why I've called in backup.
- [Terry] What?

394
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:23,268
No, no, no. Come on, Mayor.
Last thing I need is another idiot

395
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,938
- that I got to babysit up in here.
- Boy.

396
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,397
- Okay?
- I'm excited.

397
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,191
- Well.
- Come on out, Maya.

398
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,527
This is such a mistake.

399
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,820
Here you go.

400
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,738
- Stand right here, please.
- Okay. Hi.

401
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,908
Detective, Jason. This is Maya Rudolph.
She's on your team now.

402
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,160
- Incredible to meet you.
- Great to meet you.

403
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,663
- Hi.
- Senior Detective Terry Seattle.

404
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:43,872
- Maya Rudolph.
- Maya.

405
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,749
- It's great we got help.
- Just great.

406
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,753
I need all of you to find the killer
and close this case.

407
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,505
- You understand?
- Yeah, got it.

408
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:57,386
Great. Now, Terry, you have five hours
before the sun rises and your career sets.

409
00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,721
Wow.

410
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,808
- Thought it'd be another...
- Super menacing.

411
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,769
- Five hours? A lot of time.
- So you work together.

412
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,729
Now we're all working together?

413
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:11,066
- What does your gut tell you so far?
- Nothing, I just got here.

414
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,193
- Santa Claus is dead.
- I'll tell you what.

415
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,278
[snickering]

416
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,864
Jason, why don't you
tell Maya what's happened?

417
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,700
- Really, Santa Claus is dead?
- Tell her what's happened.

418
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,910
Only got about 20 seconds.
Here we go.

419
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,662
- Johnny Blaze...
- Yeah.

420
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:25,455
- ...was a football player.
- Okay.

421
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,791
He's now dead. He was playing Santa.

422
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,710
- Okay.
- So, Santa

423
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:33,463
- was killed by a sharp candy cane...
- Object? Okay.

424
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,550
...that was made
into a point through licking.

425
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:40,095
- That was made sharp from licking?
- Lick made the point.

426
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:44,975
Lick made the point, Santa's dead,
Johnny Blaze is not dead, though.

427
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,644
- Johnny Blaze is dead.
- [Terry] Johnny Blaze is dead.

428
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,814
Johnny Blaze is dead.
And there was a naked sports caster.

429
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,025
He's a ginger, too.
He seemed pretty guilty.

430
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,277
- The naked guy?
- Yeah! And drunk,

431
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,864
- and he owed Johnny Blaze $9 million.
- [gasps]

432
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,450
- We don't know who killed Santa?
- Why we're here.

433
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,410
- We're gonna figure it out.
- Obviously.

434
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:07,247
Okay. I feel I'm up to speed.
I don't know where we are.

435
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,166
Where are we now?
Tell her that.

436
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,168
We're in an office building.

437
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:16,840
- No, where does the mayor work?
- The mayor works at big city, right?

438
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,967
In any city, where does the mayor...

439
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,844
- City Hall.
- There we go.

440
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,513
I gotta tell you something,
this is a disaster.

441
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:24,473
- No.
- Why?

442
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,350
Hello? I'm calling for Johnny Blaze.

443
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,977
I need to cancel his massage
appointment tomorrow.

444
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,979
No, he's not rescheduling.

445
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,775
Did you just hear that?
She works for Johnny Blaze.

446
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:37,319
We need to go
and see what she knows.

447
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,363
About Johnny. Yep, let's do it.

448
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:43,116
Obviously about Johnny,
not what she knows about other stuff.

449
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,369
And we don't know who killed him?

450
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,955
We got to find out
because otherwise the orphans

451
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,040
aren't going to get their toys,
and then

452
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:53,252
the other thing that'll
get murdered is the spirit of Christmas.

453
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,587
[cackling]

454
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:59,424
It's true. All these gifts
are for the orphans.

455
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,260
"Get murdered."

456
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:05,389
Okay. Okay, cool.

457
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,724
[Terry] <i>We put suspect number two
in an office</i>

458
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,310
<i>to sweat for a bit
before interrogating her.</i>

459
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,814
<i>But getting her to talk
would be our toughest mission yet.</i>

460
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:17,776
Oh, my God. Can somebody please tell me
why I'm being held in here?

461
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,654
First, let's just get
the intros out of the way.

462
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,948
I am Senior Detective Terry Seattle.

463
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,535
We're going to start right at
the beginning here. What is your name?

464
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:29,246
I'm Mia Briggs,
and I was Johnny's personal assistant.

465
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:32,291
- How come you're wearing his name tag?
- I was gonna ask.

466
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:33,959
This is actually mine.

467
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,670
Johnny said remembering
the name Mia was impossible,

468
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:39,715
- so he called me Johnny.
- We're gonna ask you about Johnny.

469
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,717
- I can't answer anything.
- Why not?

470
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,387
I signed an ironclad NDA.
Can't answer anything to do with him.

471
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,807
- Ironclad NDA? Not a regular NDA?
- It was very intense.

472
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,518
We don't have time
to get to the bottom of this.

473
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:55,647
We're going to do something
I call good cop, bad cop, Terry style.

474
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:58,233
Jason, you're a good cop.
Maya, you're a bad cop.

475
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,111
If things don't work out,
switch roles. So look for cues.

476
00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,322
- You're good.
- You're good, you're bad.

477
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:06,033
You're going to be answering
some questions right now!

478
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,743
- Hey, Mia.
- Right here.

479
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,661
[Mia] I'm gonna sit, but not talk.

480
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,079
Okay, let's see about that.

481
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,332
- Get over here.
- Let's see about that.

482
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,793
- Right here. Good cop, bad, go!
- You look awesome today,

483
00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:19,588
That color's very pretty
on your complexion.

484
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,507
When's the last time you saw
your boss alive?

485
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,759
This morning.

486
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,303
- Yeah, you murder him?
- I can't talk about him.

487
00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:28,722
I don't even know why
I answered those.

488
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:30,432
Defensive much?

489
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,143
- You don't want to get her upset?
- Switch it.

490
00:22:33,226 --> 00:22:34,936
You're gonna answer the question

491
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,106
or you're going to get
carted out of here on a stretcher.

492
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:41,193
- I'm not answering.
- Sweetie, I just have a couple questions.

493
00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:44,112
- I love your sweater.
- We need something helpful from you.

494
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,781
I can't talk about him.

495
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:48,325
We got to try new kinds of cops.

496
00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:51,703
Maya, French cop,
Jason, Italian cop.

497
00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:57,834
Mia... [speaks French]

498
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,711
[speaking broken Italian]

499
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:04,382
[Maya continues speaking French]

500
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:05,467
Smoke.

501
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:10,430
[Maya continues speaking broken French]

502
00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,182
Forget about it.

503
00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:16,311
[Italian accent] Forget about it!
What you think you know?

504
00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:18,855
And tell me what I need to know.

505
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:22,150
[French accent] You know what I think?
You Americans put too much

506
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,819
ketchup on your hamburgers.

507
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:26,863
At the Olive Garden,
when you're here, your family.

508
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,783
When you're here...

509
00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:31,118
Singing cop.

510
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:35,288
<i>♪ Let me ask you a couple of questions ♪</i>

511
00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,917
<i>♪ Did you murder your boss? ♪</i>

512
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,252
Liam Neeson cop.

513
00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:43,588
- [imitates Liam] I will protect you.
- Pretty good!

514
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:46,508
- Pretty good.
- Okay, Maya, working class British cop.

515
00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,719
[British accent] I'm gonna give you
five fucking minutes, right?

516
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,973
And then you're going to fucking tell me.
What the fuck.

517
00:23:53,056 --> 00:23:54,516
[laughs]

518
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:57,018
Only speaks in robot sound-bleeps.

519
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,771
[imitates robot] Okay. We need...

520
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,984
- some answers out of you.
- No words, just bleeps.

521
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:08,321
[makes robot noises]

522
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:11,074
Listen, you don't want to get
the robot mad.

523
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:13,660
- He'll fucking punch you, right?
- [robot noise]

524
00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:15,328
- Rick Astley cop.
- [chuckles]

525
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:18,874
<i>♪ Never going to arrest you
Because you're my best friend ♪</i>

526
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:22,127
<i>♪ Never going to arrest you, Mia ♪</i>

527
00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,629
- [shouts] Is that enough for you?
- I'll talk!

528
00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:25,964
[normal] There it is.

529
00:24:26,047 --> 00:24:28,592
- We did it.
- You're running point on this.

530
00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:30,594
Ask about her job
working for Johnny.

531
00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:32,596
- [normal] Yes, I have questions.
- Yeah.

532
00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:36,141
Okay. What were your responsibilities?

533
00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:38,810
I had his calendar.
I would drive him places.

534
00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,104
- Okay.
- I faked an ADHD condition

535
00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:43,773
- so that he could snort my Adderall.
- Wait, what?

536
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:47,277
One time, he had me drive through
a tornado to get to Sam's Club

537
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,238
because he said, quote,
"I need all of the butter."

538
00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:53,074
- [beeping]
- Wait, hang on. Sorry.

539
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:55,243
I have to do this really quick.

540
00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:59,706
- What's that?
- Okay, so Johnny said that

541
00:24:59,789 --> 00:25:02,542
my breath smelled like
a wet sneaker with gonorrhea.

542
00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:05,670
So he asked me to spray my mouth
with mint every five minutes.

543
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:09,090
So he said unkind things
to you often and you like mint?

544
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:12,427
It seems to me...
I'm just going to put this out there...

545
00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,638
- Johnny's a little controlling.
- Okay, wait.

546
00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:17,432
I feel like you're getting
the wrong impression of him.

547
00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:20,227
He really was
a very great boss most of the time.

548
00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:22,687
- Doesn't sound like it.
- No, he got me a present.

549
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,981
- Really?
- Yes. Look. This beautiful necklace.

550
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:27,150
- [bells jingling]
- He got me this necklace

551
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:29,444
that makes noise
so he can know where I am.

552
00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,613
Now I know where he is all times.

553
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:33,740
- Where is he?
- Boss heaven.

554
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,367
"Boss heaven?"

555
00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:38,286
Terry, you need to see this.

556
00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:41,665
Who the fuck is that?

557
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:46,044
Take a look at this.

558
00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:50,257
All the guests were close enough to Johnny
to stab him when the lights went out,

559
00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:54,010
but the circuit breaker
for the power is all the way over here.

560
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:57,430
There wasn't time for any guests
to cut the lights and stab Johnny.

561
00:25:57,514 --> 00:25:58,932
Know what that means?

562
00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:01,518
Can I just have a moment with my trainees?

563
00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:04,604
Whoever turned off the lights
can't be the same person...

564
00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,398
[both]...who killed Johnny. Jinx!

565
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:08,400
- Oh, my God.
- [both laugh]

566
00:26:08,483 --> 00:26:11,236
- What if it's Stretch Armstrong?
- The character?

567
00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:15,323
The one with the arms that could reach
that and stab at the same time.

568
00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,658
You know what this means?

569
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:21,371
This means there's an accomplice.
This changes everything.

570
00:26:21,454 --> 00:26:25,333
- [deep voice] So what you're saying is...
- [both] There's an accomplice.

571
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,586
And this accomplice is out here,
hiding in plain sight,

572
00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:32,841
and their only goal is to try to stop us.
We are no longer the hunters.

573
00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:35,218
We are now the hunted.

574
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:39,097
And there's a new hunter
who's out there hunting us.

575
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:43,852
The former hunters,
being now the hunted...

576
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,729
by the new hunter.

577
00:26:45,812 --> 00:26:48,315
- Are you having a stroke?
- [woman] Hello?

578
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,901
- Who's that?
- Oh, shit. The orphans.

579
00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:55,071
- What are they doing here?
- They've been waiting to meet Santa.

580
00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:56,781
I forgot about them in the chaos.

581
00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:59,326
If they see Santa dead,
my career is over.

582
00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:00,618
Okay, what do we do?

583
00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:02,412
- Think.
- "Hard Knock Life."

584
00:27:02,495 --> 00:27:04,581
Sweeping. Should I give 'em a broom?

585
00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:06,958
Wait a second! I got an idea.

586
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:11,588
You stall 'em, Mayor.
You two, come with me.

587
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:13,381
Please.

588
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:17,594
Hi, hi. So sorry. Sorry for the delay.
Hi. Are you kids having fun?

589
00:27:17,677 --> 00:27:20,472
We've been sitting
in your office for five hours.

590
00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:21,890
- Yeah.
- What's going on?

591
00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:24,684
We got him all set here.
Let's just get him...

592
00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,019
[laughter]

593
00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:30,565
All right. Okay. All right, guys,
we got Santa. Come on.

594
00:27:30,648 --> 00:27:32,025
- No.
- Come on back here.

595
00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:34,569
So Santa is having, like, a moment.

596
00:27:34,652 --> 00:27:37,489
Hold that. You manage that,
and, Jason, you get there.

597
00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:40,492
And Santa's gonna have
that moment for a while.

598
00:27:40,575 --> 00:27:41,743
[Terry] Santa's ready.

599
00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:46,081
Okay. Well, then,
come this way, I guess.

600
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:49,084
Wow.

601
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,128
- [Jason as Santa] Hello.
- This is great. Come here.

602
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:57,050
Hello, boys and girls. Would you like
a present? What would you like?

603
00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,344
Why isn't Santa's mouth moving?

604
00:27:59,427 --> 00:28:01,679
Move his mouth, Maya.
You keep doing his arms.

605
00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,349
[Jason as Santa] It's moving.
There. Can't you see?

606
00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:06,935
Some of the kids want to sit
on Santa's lap.

607
00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:09,771
- Please sit here.
- Yep. You wanna... Go ahead.

608
00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:13,191
- Right here.
- What happened to your beard?

609
00:28:13,274 --> 00:28:17,862
I've got no hair on my bottom of my face.

610
00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:21,074
Be sensitive.
It's called alopecia.

611
00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:24,369
Why is there red stuff on your suit?

612
00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:29,082
That's a leaky gut. Please tell me
what you want for Christmas.

613
00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:34,003
I'd like a new doll, and an art kit,
and a soccer ball.

614
00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:36,548
She doesn't get to ask for three things.

615
00:28:36,631 --> 00:28:40,135
- No, only one.
- You don't get to ask for so many things.

616
00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:42,512
You take what you get
and you don't get upset.

617
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:45,140
[sobs]

618
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:46,766
Santa's so mean.

619
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,309
Come here, come here.

620
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,895
- Mayor, what is going on?
- You're a crybaby.

621
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:52,772
Santa, can you behave yourself?

622
00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:55,191
- You're terrible at this. Switch.
- Apologies.

623
00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:57,068
- Please hold.
- Okay.

624
00:28:57,152 --> 00:29:00,822
- Say, "Sorry about that."
- [laughs]

625
00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:03,450
- Say, "Sorry about that."
- [Maya as Santa] So sorry.

626
00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:07,704
Hey, kids, do you like TikTok?
I'm Gwen Stefani.

627
00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:10,498
[vocalizing]

628
00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:12,584
I'm dabbing! I mean, I'm dabbing.

629
00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:17,839
- Oh he's dabbing, Santa's dabbing.
- Look at me. Yay! TikTok is cool.

630
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,841
Ticky, tock.
Ticky, tick tick tick.

631
00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:21,176
Ticky tok, tickey tok.

632
00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:23,219
Who wants to sit on Santa's lap?

633
00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:26,806
- Okay. What's your name?
- My name's Terence.

634
00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:30,143
- Terrence. I like that.
- What do you want for Christmas, Terrence?

635
00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:32,353
What do you want for Christmas, Terrence?

636
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,440
I don't think you can give me
what I want, Santa.

637
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:37,484
Oh yeah? Try me, bitch.

638
00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:40,403
What I want more than anything
in the world...

639
00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:42,822
- Yeah?
- ...is a mommy and daddy.

640
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:46,284
A real mommy and daddy.
A forever mommy and daddy.

641
00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:53,249
I thought maybe you can wish for it
along with me, it'll come true.

642
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,376
[crying]
Wish for them. Wish for it, Maya.

643
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,670
I'm wishing, I'm wishing.

644
00:29:57,754 --> 00:30:02,467
Come here. Come closer.
Put your... Nuzzle your head in my chest.

645
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:05,428
You're a good baby.
You're a good baby.

646
00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:08,348
I love you. How about some chocolate?

647
00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:10,183
- Do you like chocolate?
- Yeah!

648
00:30:10,266 --> 00:30:11,851
Okay, here, here you go.

649
00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:15,939
Okay... you know what?
Great, get your chocolate.

650
00:30:16,022 --> 00:30:17,857
And I think that's good.

651
00:30:17,941 --> 00:30:21,027
- Okay, we did it, everybody let's go.
- Eat it up.

652
00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:24,656
Bye, I love you guys.
My gosh, I love you guys so much.

653
00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:26,115
- Bye.
- Thank you.

654
00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:27,408
I love you.

655
00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:29,536
- [normal] My finger.
- I think we're clear.

656
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:31,287
- My finger hurts.
- We're clear.

657
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:36,709
We did it. We pulled it off. I didn't
think we were going to be able to do it.

658
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:38,837
I think they really bought it.
We did it!

659
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,756
I think I finally figured out
what Christmas is all about.

660
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:42,841
What is it, Terry?

661
00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:46,636
It's not about parties and noise
canceling headphones. It's about hope.

662
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:49,138
- And we got to give those kids hope.
- Yes.

663
00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:52,183
We're gonna catch this killer
and save Christmas, right?

664
00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:54,769
- [all scream]
- Jesus Christ.

665
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,855
What did you do to Santa?

666
00:30:56,938 --> 00:31:00,024
Would somebody
please help out Angie again?

667
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:03,403
- My gosh.
- She really scared me.

668
00:31:03,486 --> 00:31:06,072
She's just... this has been
a whole thing with Angie.

669
00:31:06,155 --> 00:31:09,242
- It all started with a big scream.
- He had to be a cat for...

670
00:31:09,325 --> 00:31:10,451
- Amber, yes.
- Terry.

671
00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:13,121
I cross referenced
the party's guest list with Johnny

672
00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:15,665
- looking for connections and I got a hit.
- Okay.

673
00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:17,959
Donna Foccacia.

674
00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:19,961
- Like the bread?
- Exactly.

675
00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:21,921
- Really?
- She's the brains and money

676
00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:24,257
behind tons of
athlete branded restaurants.

677
00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:26,134
So she's going to help us how?

678
00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:28,511
Her and Johnny were
collaborating on a project.

679
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,305
You'll find her in the VIP lounge.

680
00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:31,973
- The VIP lounge?
- Yes.

681
00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:34,434
We have an exclusive club,
two floors up.

682
00:31:34,517 --> 00:31:36,519
- Here?
- City Hall's got a VIP lounge?

683
00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:38,897
Less than two hours
before the orphans wake up

684
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,857
looking for their presents.
Move fast,

685
00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:44,527
and keep your cell phone on.
I want to be in constant contact.

686
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,279
Do you know what this means?

687
00:31:46,362 --> 00:31:50,116
The killer's accomplice is still out there
and we got targets on our back.

688
00:31:50,199 --> 00:31:51,199
Like we're hunted?

689
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:53,745
Yeah.
If we're going to solve this,

690
00:31:54,120 --> 00:32:00,084
the only way it's going to happen
is that if you two go deep undercover.

691
00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:04,756
[Terry] <i>We headed to the VIP lounge
with Maya posing as an elite athlete,</i>

692
00:32:04,839 --> 00:32:06,799
<i>and Jason as her manager.</i>

693
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,260
<i>We kept an eye out for the accomplice,</i>

694
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:14,265
<i>but it turned out
their eye was already on us.</i>

695
00:32:14,349 --> 00:32:18,269
[ominous music]

696
00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:29,280
Okay, this is the VIP area.

697
00:32:29,697 --> 00:32:32,075
I don't understand
why they have a VIP room.

698
00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:34,827
- You two are going in there alone.
- [both] What?

699
00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:37,956
Don't worry.
I'll be with you the entire time.

700
00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:42,001
- Yeah. You gonna pop these in your ears.
- Are these drugs?

701
00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:45,588
No, these are just ear pieces,
put one in each of your ear.

702
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:47,966
You're gonna pitch
Donna a restaurant idea

703
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:50,551
and try to get her talking
about Johnny Blaze.

704
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:55,098
And I'm going to find a safe place
to hide, and I'll talk you through it.

705
00:32:55,181 --> 00:32:56,474
- You got it?
- Okay.

706
00:32:56,557 --> 00:32:58,309
Get in there.

707
00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:08,486
[pants]

708
00:33:14,158 --> 00:33:15,410
Bingo.

709
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,217
Yippee Ki-Yay...

710
00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:33,803
- [clang]
- Motherfucker!

711
00:33:39,183 --> 00:33:43,271
[Donna] I said, you can slap a horse's ass
but don't expect it to kiss you.

712
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,732
[Terry on radio]
<i>Jason and Maya, can you hear me?</i>

713
00:33:45,815 --> 00:33:46,816
[both] Yes.

714
00:33:46,899 --> 00:33:50,361
<i>Let's get to work.
Did you find Donna?</i>

715
00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:53,656
- Did you find Donna?
- No. Don't repeat that. Did you find her?

716
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:57,452
- You talking about the bread lady?
<i>- Yes, that's her. Do what I tell you to.</i>

717
00:33:57,535 --> 00:33:59,996
- <i>Wait till she's alone. Is she alone?</i>
- [both] Yes.

718
00:34:00,246 --> 00:34:01,247
Go sit next to her.

719
00:34:05,209 --> 00:34:06,836
- Hi, there.
- Hi. Hello.

720
00:34:06,919 --> 00:34:08,337
Can I help you two or...

721
00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:10,548
<i>"Good evening, ma'am.
I'm sorry to intrude."</i>

722
00:34:10,631 --> 00:34:13,176
- Sorry to intrude. Good evening.
- Good evening.

723
00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:14,260
<i>You're Canadian.</i>

724
00:34:14,343 --> 00:34:16,804
Heavy accent,
like a real maple sucker.

725
00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:19,640
And there's a hat
under your seat. Check under.

726
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,477
[Terry] <i>On the floor. On the floor.
There it is.</i>

727
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,271
- [accent] How's it going, eh?
<i>- "Sorry to intrude."</i>

728
00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:28,024
- Sorry to intrude, eh. I'm...
- "<i>Gordy Horton."</i>

729
00:34:28,107 --> 00:34:31,527
- Gordy Horton.
- "<i>I'm from Chisel Lake up in Manitoba."</i>

730
00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:33,780
Up there in Chisel Lake,
in Manitoba.

731
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:37,116
<i>- "She's real cold up there, eh."</i>
- She is real cold up there, eh.

732
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,453
<i>- Yeah, I like to give her.</i>
- Yeah, I like to give her.

733
00:34:40,536 --> 00:34:43,039
Feed her, give her.

734
00:34:43,122 --> 00:34:46,209
- I'd like you to meet my client...
- "Martina Stroyanka.

735
00:34:46,334 --> 00:34:48,169
<i>I am Bulgarian," with a heavy accent.</i>

736
00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:51,130
- [Bulgarian accent] Martina Stroyanka.
- Her name's Martina.

737
00:34:51,214 --> 00:34:53,508
- I'm Bulgarian.
<i>- "From Bulgaria."</i>

738
00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:54,759
From Bulgaria.

739
00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:58,679
<i>- "I'm like Mrs. Bulgaria."</i>
- I'm like Mrs. Bulgaria.

740
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:02,100
- And what is it that you do?
<i>- "I am basketball sporter."</i>

741
00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:05,853
I am Bulgarian
number one basketball sporter.

742
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:09,107
<i>- "Huge following."</i>
- Huge following up over there...

743
00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:11,776
<i>- "Huge!"</i>
- Huge!

744
00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:14,153
So big, so big!

745
00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:16,364
- Big!
- <i>"Like a big Easter bunny."</i>

746
00:35:16,447 --> 00:35:19,242
Like a big Easter bunny.

747
00:35:19,325 --> 00:35:22,161
"Thing is, Martina's got
this restaurant idea..."

748
00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:25,039
The thing is, Martina's
got this restaurant idea, eh,

749
00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,667
and it's a real beaut... Or a real getter.

750
00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:31,754
Hey, barkeep, this a mint julep?
I said rum and Mountain Dew.

751
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:35,842
[Donna] Get this shit out of my face.
God damn, I hate me a mint julep.

752
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:40,179
All right, so what now? You got some
big idea you want to pitch me?

753
00:35:40,263 --> 00:35:44,600
"I want to open world's first
authentic Bulgarian pizzeria."

754
00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:48,980
I want to open world's first
authentic Bulgarian pizzeria.

755
00:35:49,063 --> 00:35:52,817
You want to serve,
like, a Bulgarian-style pizza?

756
00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:56,737
<i>- "All the workers? Very rude."</i>
- This is authentic Bulgarian, okay?

757
00:35:56,821 --> 00:36:00,241
- The workers, very rude.
- <i>"And the washrooms are filthy."</i>

758
00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:03,411
- The washrooms are filthy.
<i>- "Everything Bulgarian."</i>

759
00:36:03,494 --> 00:36:06,330
- Everything Bulgarian.
<i>- "Except the pizza."</i>

760
00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:09,584
- Except the pizza.
<i>- "Pizza would be like Domino's."</i>

761
00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:13,379
- The pizza would be like Domino's.
- Just roll that back for me.

762
00:36:13,462 --> 00:36:16,299
Well, the experience would be like,
uh Bulgarian, eh.

763
00:36:16,382 --> 00:36:18,718
And the ingredients.
We're gonna have...

764
00:36:18,801 --> 00:36:21,053
[Terry] <i>"That's wrong.
It'd be like Domino's."</i>

765
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:23,806
No, that's wrong.
It'd be more like a Domino's.

766
00:36:23,890 --> 00:36:27,018
- "He's so stupid and wrong."
- He's so stupid and wrong.

767
00:36:27,101 --> 00:36:29,103
<i>"She loves saying that,
but I am stupid."</i>

768
00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:31,272
She loves saying that,
but I am stupid, eh.

769
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,608
"You ever experienced
a Bulgarian bathroom?"

770
00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:35,735
You ever experienced
a Bulgarian bathroom?

771
00:36:35,818 --> 00:36:37,987
"I dropped a huge
coiler in there once, eh."

772
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:41,115
- I dropped a coiler in there once, eh.
<i>- "Huge coiler."</i>

773
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,199
Huge coiler!

774
00:36:42,241 --> 00:36:44,202
Huge, like a Thanksgiving coiler.

775
00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:45,286
- Okay.
- You know?

776
00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:47,788
<i>- "But the pizza's great."</i>
- But the pizza's great.

777
00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,957
I'm running the numbers here.

778
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:54,170
- So, it's actually Domino's Pizza?
- Yeah, it would be like Domino's.

779
00:36:54,253 --> 00:36:56,505
- Now you're getting it, eh.
<i>- "What you think?"</i>

780
00:36:56,714 --> 00:36:59,425
- What you think?
- I got to shoot you straight.

781
00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:02,053
This is the worst idea

782
00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:06,265
I ever been pitched
in my whole life.

783
00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:09,352
<i>- Tell her how crazy she is.</i>
- You're crazy!

784
00:37:09,435 --> 00:37:11,312
Oh, you're crazy!

785
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:13,814
- Let me tell you something.
- You're crazy.

786
00:37:13,898 --> 00:37:16,359
- You're close.
- You're crazy in the face.

787
00:37:16,442 --> 00:37:18,027
<i>- Keep going.</i>
- You're crazy.

788
00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:21,530
You make a moose look like a genius.
You allergic to money?

789
00:37:22,156 --> 00:37:25,701
You both are dumber
than a can of wet salad.

790
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:30,248
- You're almost as dumb as Johnny Blaze.
- [gasps]

791
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:33,918
- "You got a beef with Johnny Blaze?"
- You got a beef with Johnny Blaze?

792
00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:35,878
I got more than a beef with Johnny.

793
00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,546
Can you tell me more about that?

794
00:37:37,630 --> 00:37:41,801
Johnny comes to me, he says,
"I want to open up a new barbecue joint."

795
00:37:41,884 --> 00:37:46,764
So I bring Johnny right under my wing.
I teach him everything that I know.

796
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:50,059
The dumb entrée names,
the disgustingly large portions,

797
00:37:50,142 --> 00:37:53,479
the obscene amounts
of butter on everything, okay?

798
00:37:53,562 --> 00:37:55,606
<i>- So what did Johnny do?</i>
- So what'd he do?

799
00:37:55,690 --> 00:38:00,194
He backs out of the deal last minute,
so he can open up his own place

800
00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:03,281
to compete with my flagship restaurant
in Times Square.

801
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:08,494
- What's happening with the restaurant now?
- Nothing with Johnny's, because he's dead.

802
00:38:08,577 --> 00:38:10,579
<i>Shit, my phone! My phone's ringing!</i>

803
00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:14,709
[cellphone ringing]

804
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:18,838
[ringing continues]

805
00:38:20,798 --> 00:38:21,798
Abort mission.

806
00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:23,884
<i>I'm compromised.
Make an excuse and leave.</i>

807
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,177
<i>Abort, abort, abort!</i>

808
00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:26,554
Abort, abort, abort!

809
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:28,848
- I gotta go pee pee.
- Me gotta pee pee, too.

810
00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:29,932
[ringing continues]

811
00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:32,810
Why didn't I put my phone
in my pocket?

812
00:38:34,228 --> 00:38:36,105
[Terry] Uh-oh. Uh-oh!

813
00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:38,357
- [Terry grunts]
- Oh!

814
00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:39,525
God!

815
00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:42,486
- [Maya] Boss?
- [Jason] Seattle?

816
00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:45,740
[cellphone continues ringing]

817
00:38:45,823 --> 00:38:47,658
Okay, come here, listen.

818
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,201
Listen up.

819
00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:52,121
Someone's been trying to call me.
My phone...

820
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:56,459
- Run!
- [intense music]

821
00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:06,260
[Terry] <i>Having finally lost the accomplice
in the bowels of City Hall,</i>

822
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:08,471
<i>I was able to answer my phone.</i>

823
00:39:08,554 --> 00:39:12,933
<i>It was a cold call from an
air duct repair service slash psychic.</i>

824
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:17,104
<i>With only 30 minutes till sunrise,
we headed back to the party room.</i>

825
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:21,108
<i>It was time to close this case
and save Christmas.</i>

826
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,444
- [Angie yells, sobs]
- Angie, please.

827
00:39:23,527 --> 00:39:26,822
Would you just deal with yourself for...

828
00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:28,074
- [Jason] Hi.
- Hi.

829
00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,910
Will you please, please
tell me that you know

830
00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:32,953
who killed Johnny Blaze?

831
00:39:33,996 --> 00:39:35,790
- I've gotta...
- Um, maybe...

832
00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:36,874
Ugh!

833
00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:41,003
Are you kidding me? I knew you three
couldn't handle this alone.

834
00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,464
And that is why I called in more backup.

835
00:39:43,547 --> 00:39:44,840
- What?
- What? No, come on.

836
00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:46,384
Come on out, Pete.

837
00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:48,344
- What?
- Pete, come on. Come here.

838
00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:51,389
- For the love of Pete!
- [Palmer] Can you stand there please?

839
00:39:51,472 --> 00:39:54,141
This is Pete Davidson,
he's joining the investigation.

840
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,852
- Oh, I know who he is.
- Great to have you on the team.

841
00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:58,562
Why did he just get here?

842
00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:01,273
- [Terry] Where've you been?
- [Jason] Fresh eyes, ears.

843
00:40:01,357 --> 00:40:02,608
- I'm confused.
- [laughs]

844
00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,026
[Terry] Know anything about

845
00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:05,820
- what we're doing here?
- Not at all.

846
00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:09,323
Okay. Jason, Maya, please,
in 15 seconds just explain to him.

847
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,534
A naked guy
that hugged Jason.

848
00:40:11,617 --> 00:40:13,994
Yeah. He's a ginger.
Santa's been stabbed

849
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,414
- by a pointy candy cane.
- AKA, Johnny Blaze.

850
00:40:16,497 --> 00:40:18,207
Hall of Fame quarterback.

851
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:19,834
And...

852
00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:23,087
Stabbed with a candy cane
that was sucked to a point.

853
00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:25,005
- Sucked all the way to a point.
- Whoa.

854
00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:26,590
- There was an assistant.
- Sure.

855
00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:28,175
[Jason] She seemed guilty.

856
00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:30,594
- Very.
- She likes mint breath spray.

857
00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:31,762
- It's her.
- So...

858
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:33,180
- Johnny...
- It's her!

859
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:35,933
- No it's her. She sucked a candy cane...
- What do you...

860
00:40:36,016 --> 00:40:37,476
Because she likes mint.

861
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,062
What about the bread lady?
And the butter?

862
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:42,356
- I don't know about bread.
- There was butter.

863
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,901
There was empty butter pats
on the table in front of the gal

864
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:48,362
- we were pitching to.
- Wait, there were?

865
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,406
Yeah. I pay attention.

866
00:40:50,489 --> 00:40:53,784
You're out of time, so we gotta decide.
We're gonna head over here.

867
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,828
On your way,
each of you grab a present.

868
00:40:55,911 --> 00:40:56,787
- Okay?
- Okay.

869
00:40:56,871 --> 00:41:00,207
- Come on, Terry, you got 15 minutes.
- Okay. All right.

870
00:41:01,709 --> 00:41:05,129
I know this isn't how you wanted to spend
your evening, locked up.

871
00:41:05,212 --> 00:41:08,048
It was the only way to
solve the murder of Johnny Blaze.

872
00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:10,009
Time to find out if

873
00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:14,346
Jason, Maya, and Pete,
know who is responsible.

874
00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:18,476
Was it Jim Trentley?

875
00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:22,396
Mia Briggs?
Or Donna Foccacia?

876
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,648
- [laughs]
- Hey, man.

877
00:41:26,108 --> 00:41:28,611
She's had to live with that
her whole life.

878
00:41:28,694 --> 00:41:29,862
Dick's like you.

879
00:41:29,945 --> 00:41:33,616
- Fuckin' asshole.
- So, each one of you is holding a present.

880
00:41:33,699 --> 00:41:34,825
- Please.
- Yeah.

881
00:41:34,909 --> 00:41:38,913
You're going to hand it to the person
you think murdered Johnny Blaze.

882
00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:41,332
Maya, you're going to go first.

883
00:41:41,415 --> 00:41:45,085
[tense music playing]

884
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:50,841
[Jason] Really think about it.

885
00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:53,928
- Here you go.
- [all gasp]

886
00:41:54,011 --> 00:41:56,347
What?

887
00:41:56,430 --> 00:42:00,684
- How dare you? I'm so insulted.
- I'm just doing my job.

888
00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:04,188
- She's making an informed guess.
- Naming the Mayor as the killer?

889
00:42:05,022 --> 00:42:07,399
I think that, that shows real gumption.

890
00:42:07,858 --> 00:42:10,110
I don't know if she did it yet.

891
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,530
We're going to find out.
Jason, it's up to you.

892
00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:16,242
- Who do you think murdered Johnny Blaze?
- I got it, thank you.

893
00:42:22,748 --> 00:42:24,833
- Jesus.
- Suicide.

894
00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:28,796
- Wow.
- [Palmer] This is unorthodox.

895
00:42:29,588 --> 00:42:33,425
- Okay. I've seen his work.
- Nothing indicated suicide.

896
00:42:33,509 --> 00:42:38,264
Sure it does. The guy was a quarterback,
and then he became Santa at City Hall.

897
00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:41,433
- How did he stab himself with the...
- He licked himself lousy

898
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:45,312
- then stuck it in his gut.
- Licked it, then he sticked it.

899
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:47,022
- Okay?
- You guys are good.

900
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:48,524
We're teeing up Pete here.

901
00:42:48,607 --> 00:42:51,485
- We're fond of him. Here he goes.
- [Terry] All right, Pete.

902
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:54,780
Based on this entire case
that you've had the luxury of studying,

903
00:42:54,863 --> 00:42:57,700
who do you think killed Johnny Blaze?

904
00:42:57,783 --> 00:42:59,243
Who's the spearmint lady?

905
00:42:59,326 --> 00:43:01,203
- Pink pants.
- Okay, it's her,

906
00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:06,250
But I'm gonna be a dick.

907
00:43:07,459 --> 00:43:10,087
- [Terry gasps]
- [Maya laughs]

908
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:11,839
[groans]

909
00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:13,591
I think you're up to something.

910
00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:15,342
- So, just to recap...
- Yep.

911
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,219
Maya, you think the Mayor did it?

912
00:43:17,886 --> 00:43:19,221
The fuck?

913
00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:22,141
Jason, you think
that he committed suicide?

914
00:43:22,224 --> 00:43:23,100
I would.

915
00:43:23,183 --> 00:43:24,602
[Maya laughs]

916
00:43:25,311 --> 00:43:27,730
- And Pete, you think I did it?
- Yeah.

917
00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:33,235
So we had three suspects,
and you chose none of them.

918
00:43:33,319 --> 00:43:34,361
Yes.

919
00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:37,281
- Fantastic.
- Now what?

920
00:43:37,364 --> 00:43:40,075
Listen here, there is a mountain
of evidence out there.

921
00:43:40,159 --> 00:43:45,039
So whoever did commit this murder, please,
now is your chance to come clean.

922
00:43:45,122 --> 00:43:50,252
You may think that all you've done is
killed legendary quarterback Johnny Blaze.

923
00:43:50,836 --> 00:43:54,965
But what you've really done is you've
committed the most heinous act of all.

924
00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:59,678
If we don't get those presents to those
orphans in the next 12 minutes

925
00:44:00,512 --> 00:44:04,308
those kids are going to stop
believing in Santa

926
00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:09,021
and you will have
murdered the spirit of Christmas.

927
00:44:10,731 --> 00:44:11,731
Who did it?

928
00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:18,489
- I can't take it anymore.
- [all gasp]

929
00:44:18,572 --> 00:44:20,240
It was me, I did it!

930
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:22,785
- Why?
- How the fuck was I supposed to know that?

931
00:44:22,868 --> 00:44:24,161
I've never met you before.

932
00:44:24,244 --> 00:44:27,873
Legendary Channel Five
sports anchor Jim Trentley!

933
00:44:27,956 --> 00:44:31,251
I didn't have anywhere else to go.
I didn't have the money,

934
00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:35,297
he was going to tell everybody
about my debt, ruin my TV career.

935
00:44:35,381 --> 00:44:38,175
Yes, of course.
Of course. It had to be you.

936
00:44:38,258 --> 00:44:41,512
<i>Jason heard the sound
of jingle bells during the murder.</i>

937
00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:44,390
Jim was the one who had that
ugly bell sweater.

938
00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:46,308
- Hey...
- Sorry.

939
00:44:46,392 --> 00:44:48,310
Jim was drinking peppermint schnapps.

940
00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:50,979
<i>We know the killer
liked the taste of mint.</i>

941
00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:54,817
Donna sent back her mint julep.
She hated it when you were at the bar.

942
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:58,153
This a mint julep? I said rum and
Mountain Dew, get this shit out.

943
00:44:58,237 --> 00:45:02,241
Finally there's the name tag issue.
Everybody's name tag was smudged.

944
00:45:02,324 --> 00:45:06,078
<i>We found the smudged name tag
in the hand of Johnny Blaze.</i>

945
00:45:06,161 --> 00:45:08,914
<i>Which means the killer
must've made a second name tag.</i>

946
00:45:08,997 --> 00:45:14,628
Only one person didn't have a smudged
name tag and that was Jim Trentley.

947
00:45:14,711 --> 00:45:16,171
Call me Jim.

948
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:18,924
And his was signed
with a brand new red Sharpie

949
00:45:19,007 --> 00:45:22,511
that matched the headshot
that you signed for me.

950
00:45:22,594 --> 00:45:23,637
Wow.

951
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:26,890
I'm going to jail, aren't I?

952
00:45:26,974 --> 00:45:30,936
You're not only going to jail,
you're also going to hell.

953
00:45:31,019 --> 00:45:32,646
Do they have golf in jail?

954
00:45:32,729 --> 00:45:34,273
Golf! Of course!

955
00:45:34,356 --> 00:45:38,235
That adds up. We thought
Johnny Blaze's last words were "butter."

956
00:45:38,318 --> 00:45:41,905
- Butter.
- But it wasn't "butter." It was "putter."

957
00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:45,409
- Oh.
- Oh, my gosh.

958
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:47,744
- That's a twist.
- This guy's crying.

959
00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:49,913
It's so fucking sad.

960
00:45:49,997 --> 00:45:52,541
He was trying to tell us who
the killer was.

961
00:45:52,624 --> 00:45:54,084
But there was an accomplice.

962
00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,170
- Who turned off the lights?
- Thank you.

963
00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:59,923
The accomplice
was Jim Trentley's new girl, Angie!

964
00:46:00,382 --> 00:46:01,425
What?

965
00:46:01,508 --> 00:46:03,927
<i>Jim told us his new
lady friend had magic hands.</i>

966
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:07,806
<i>Guess who was wrapping the orphan's
presents at lightning speed?</i>

967
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:09,975
<i>She was the one
hunting us in the hallway.</i>

968
00:46:10,058 --> 00:46:12,269
<i>She wasn't out of breath
from a panic attack,</i>

969
00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:17,566
<i>but from running the hallways
in a ski mask, trying to take us out.</i>

970
00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:22,654
Jim, you idiot! I told you
to not talk about my magic hands.

971
00:46:22,738 --> 00:46:27,576
- I love you, Boo Boo.
- Hey, Jim, why don't you go fuck yourself?

972
00:46:27,659 --> 00:46:29,953
Officers, take him away.

973
00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:34,082
But nobody even gave me a present.
If nobody got it...

974
00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:36,502
Can't I... That's rude.

975
00:46:37,836 --> 00:46:41,632
- Well, thanks for having me.
- That was crazy. Thank God it's all over.

976
00:46:41,715 --> 00:46:42,883
Detective!

977
00:46:42,966 --> 00:46:46,094
- Uh-oh.
- You wanted a present from the table?

978
00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:51,058
Well, my magic hands
wrapped something nice and big for you,

979
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:54,186
and it's going to blow you away!

980
00:46:55,687 --> 00:46:58,982
- Oh, no.
- [beeping]

981
00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:00,067
Careful.

982
00:47:01,068 --> 00:47:03,028
[all gasp]

983
00:47:03,111 --> 00:47:04,571
A real bomb!

984
00:47:05,739 --> 00:47:08,534
- Look, we need to evacuate.
- No time for that.

985
00:47:08,617 --> 00:47:10,827
This entire building is going to blow.

986
00:47:10,911 --> 00:47:14,039
- Fifty-five seconds, MacGruber!
- Let me see it.

987
00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:17,668
Oh my God! There are three wires,
red, green, and blue.

988
00:47:17,751 --> 00:47:19,169
- Right.
- No!

989
00:47:20,003 --> 00:47:21,880
- You're lucky.
- [Jason] Good instincts.

990
00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:23,340
We're not prepared for that.

991
00:47:23,423 --> 00:47:25,759
Cut the correct wire,
the bomb will disarm.

992
00:47:25,842 --> 00:47:28,345
If you cut the wrong one, we all die.

993
00:47:28,428 --> 00:47:32,349
You seem comfortable with explosives.
You have to run point on this.

994
00:47:32,432 --> 00:47:34,268
Cut the right one, you decide.

995
00:47:34,351 --> 00:47:37,229
Consensus.
Talk together about what to do.

996
00:47:37,312 --> 00:47:39,565
[Jason] I think maybe red,
the pliers are red.

997
00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:42,526
I think blue because
it's the only non Christmas color.

998
00:47:42,609 --> 00:47:44,444
We're running out of time here.

999
00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:47,573
I'm thinking we just go like,
three, two, one, go?

1000
00:47:47,656 --> 00:47:49,700
Or do we go one, two, three?

1001
00:47:49,783 --> 00:47:52,786
- Do we do it on three?
- We don't have time for this!

1002
00:47:52,869 --> 00:47:53,870
Here we go!

1003
00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:57,833
Two! One!

1004
00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:04,298
[cheering]

1005
00:48:06,258 --> 00:48:09,928
Pete Davidson saved Christmas
and saved the day.

1006
00:48:10,012 --> 00:48:11,263
You're the hero.

1007
00:48:11,346 --> 00:48:13,390
[all] Pete, Pete, Pete,

1008
00:48:13,473 --> 00:48:16,768
Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete,

1009
00:48:16,852 --> 00:48:21,064
- Pete, Pete, Pete!
- That was some crazy shit.

1010
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:22,065
- Fantastic.
- Wow.

1011
00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:24,901
Pete, you came in last second,
you really saved the day.

1012
00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:26,236
- Thanks.
- [Maya] Good job.

1013
00:48:26,403 --> 00:48:30,324
You trusted your gut. It's a holiday
I'm never gonna forget. I know.

1014
00:48:30,407 --> 00:48:32,951
I want to thank you all
for coming down here.

1015
00:48:33,035 --> 00:48:36,371
It's been an incredible journey, but...

1016
00:48:36,455 --> 00:48:37,789
Thanks so much, Terry.

1017
00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:40,667
What's wrong, Mayor?

1018
00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:44,880
Well, the day may be saved,
but not the spirit of Christmas.

1019
00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:48,592
- God dang it, the orphans.
- We only have six minutes to sunrise.

1020
00:48:48,675 --> 00:48:51,428
Those kids are about to
wake up with no presents at all.

1021
00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:54,640
No, they're not.
Somebody get me the Santa suit.

1022
00:48:54,723 --> 00:48:58,769
I'm dreaming of an orange Christmas.

1023
00:48:58,852 --> 00:49:03,857
[rock music]

1024
00:49:03,940 --> 00:49:07,903
On Donnor, on Blitzen, on Rampage!

1025
00:49:17,996 --> 00:49:21,124
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas!

1026
00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:22,793
[gifts shattering, crunching]

1027
00:49:22,959 --> 00:49:26,004
- Santa, you really came!
- And your beard grew back!

1028
00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:27,381
[Terry] Of course I came.

1029
00:49:27,464 --> 00:49:30,425
Every good girl and boy
deserves a present on Christmas.

1030
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:38,725
Thank you, Terry. I mean, Santa.
You saved Christmas.

1031
00:49:38,809 --> 00:49:44,606
On the contrary, Christmas saved me.

1032
00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:53,072
What?

1033
00:49:56,326 --> 00:49:58,995
"To Terry, from Santa?"

1034
00:50:04,292 --> 00:50:09,172
It's a Christmas miracle.
My noise canceling headphones!

1035
00:50:09,923 --> 00:50:13,218
- Where's your present, Terry?
- I didn't get one.

1036
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:17,431
I guess Santa felt
I didn't deserve one.

1037
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,350
No, I'm sure we just can't...

1038
00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:23,687
- Maybe Santa...
- They really work! I can't hear shit!

1039
00:50:26,231 --> 00:50:27,231
Terry!

1040
00:50:28,233 --> 00:50:30,402
Terry, those aren't for you.

1041
00:50:30,485 --> 00:50:34,281
- Those aren't for you!
- I really can't hear shit.

1042
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:35,991
Terry!

1043
00:50:36,074 --> 00:50:38,535
It was for Orphan Terry.

1044
00:50:39,661 --> 00:50:41,329
[Terry] <i>The holiday spirit.</i>

1045
00:50:41,413 --> 00:50:44,124
<i>You can't wrap it up
and put it under the tree,</i>

1046
00:50:44,207 --> 00:50:47,961
<i>but it's still the most
valuable gift I've ever received.</i>

1047
00:50:48,628 --> 00:50:50,881
<i>After the headphones, of course.</i>

1048
00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:01,475
[end theme music plays]

1049
00:51:58,156 --> 00:51:59,324
[music fades]

1050
00:52:02,285 --> 00:52:03,578
[growling]