1 00:00:06,418 --> 00:00:08,290 [inserting a tape] 2 00:00:12,337 --> 00:00:16,037 Why do you think you're ready to transcend? 3 00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:18,822 Why? 4 00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:21,172 Because I've listened to every word you've said. 5 00:00:21,303 --> 00:00:24,567 I've studied the scripts that you have wrote. 6 00:00:24,697 --> 00:00:26,438 I've listened to every speech. 7 00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:30,747 I've-- I've cataloged every moment. 8 00:00:30,877 --> 00:00:35,752 I don't think there's a way that I'm not ready to transcend. 9 00:00:35,882 --> 00:00:40,539 I hunger for the next realm. 10 00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:43,020 I can't wait. 11 00:00:43,151 --> 00:00:47,372 I mean, because it sounds fucking sick, honestly. 12 00:00:47,503 --> 00:00:49,287 This tree that we're on is burning 13 00:00:49,418 --> 00:00:51,898 and it's telling us to get off. 14 00:00:52,029 --> 00:00:54,031 It's too hot. 15 00:00:54,162 --> 00:00:56,294 It's full of pain. 16 00:00:56,425 --> 00:01:02,300 In my heart, I know that we're meant to be so much more. 17 00:01:02,431 --> 00:01:06,391 I had a family before, and I left them to come with you. 18 00:01:06,522 --> 00:01:09,699 Because of your teachings, I convinced a Chinese lady 19 00:01:09,829 --> 00:01:12,005 with dementia I was her son. 20 00:01:12,136 --> 00:01:13,485 I don't even know how it happened, 21 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:16,836 but just kind of channeling you-- 22 00:01:16,967 --> 00:01:20,536 and I got like $13,000 out of her before she realized I 23 00:01:20,666 --> 00:01:22,451 didn't actually know how to speak Mandarin. 24 00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:25,628 I was just kind of doing the sounds. 25 00:01:25,758 --> 00:01:28,239 Any final thoughts? 26 00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:32,287 Just thank you. 27 00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:36,726 I feel too lucky to have met this family. 28 00:01:36,856 --> 00:01:42,384 Me and you fucking getting slurped up. 29 00:01:42,514 --> 00:01:44,125 God's watching. 30 00:01:44,255 --> 00:01:46,039 Buddha will probably be there. 31 00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:49,173 Let's all try to get along. 32 00:01:49,304 --> 00:01:50,827 Marilyn Monroe. Oh. 33 00:01:50,957 --> 00:01:52,089 You're getting it from the back. 34 00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:53,003 Oh. 35 00:01:53,134 --> 00:01:54,657 You know what I'm saying? 36 00:01:54,787 --> 00:01:57,486 Even if there's one person that we may not like-- 37 00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:58,704 Maybe Marlon Brando. 38 00:01:58,835 --> 00:02:00,315 You ever see him when he was young? 39 00:02:00,445 --> 00:02:01,620 Piece of ass. 40 00:02:01,751 --> 00:02:03,709 And in heaven, being gay is not bad. 41 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,016 It's actually cool. 42 00:02:06,147 --> 00:02:09,628 Let's welcome him into our fold. 43 00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:13,589 I can't wait to spend forever with you, dawg. 44 00:02:13,719 --> 00:02:18,071 It's going to be awesome, me and you forever. 45 00:02:18,202 --> 00:02:19,160 Forever. 46 00:02:25,775 --> 00:02:31,911 Worms, that's all we are-- 47 00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:37,743 wasting our days writhing in the mud, bound to vessels 48 00:02:37,874 --> 00:02:41,660 that suffocate our potential. 49 00:02:41,791 --> 00:02:47,492 But for this family, for those who know the truth, today 50 00:02:47,623 --> 00:02:52,367 we reject our earthly bondage and embrace 51 00:02:52,497 --> 00:02:54,847 our rightful destiny. 52 00:02:54,978 --> 00:03:03,116 Today we grow legs, sprout wings, and open eyes 53 00:03:03,247 --> 00:03:06,903 that see for the first time. 54 00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:12,038 Today we return to Jalanzana. 55 00:03:12,169 --> 00:03:13,301 To Jalanzana. 56 00:03:13,431 --> 00:03:14,302 Xana. 57 00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:21,004 Hey, dude, check it out. 58 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,179 What? 59 00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:23,180 Look down, dude. 60 00:03:23,311 --> 00:03:24,225 Look. 61 00:03:24,355 --> 00:03:27,967 [laughs] 62 00:03:28,098 --> 00:03:29,012 Fuck you. 63 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,361 You're disgusting. 64 00:03:49,728 --> 00:03:52,992 Do we have a rag I could wipe this with? 65 00:03:53,123 --> 00:03:55,908 Or honestly, a whole new cup would be a lot better, actually. 66 00:03:56,039 --> 00:03:57,823 No. Just drink it. 67 00:03:57,954 --> 00:04:00,435 Kathleen just rubbed her whole mouth on it right before me. 68 00:04:00,565 --> 00:04:02,350 - So what? - So what? 69 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,699 So I'm clean as a whistle. 70 00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:05,353 I'm not trying to get herpes all over 71 00:04:05,483 --> 00:04:06,484 my thinking balls 'cause you rubbed your dirty ass lips all 72 00:04:06,615 --> 00:04:07,093 over the fucking thing. 73 00:04:07,224 --> 00:04:08,617 Chip. 74 00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:09,748 Fine. 75 00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:14,623 [chokes] 76 00:04:14,753 --> 00:04:15,928 [coughs] 77 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,017 All right, that's it. We're done. 78 00:04:18,148 --> 00:04:19,454 [claps] 79 00:04:19,584 --> 00:04:20,890 What? Come on. 80 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:22,457 It was just a practice run. Who cares? 81 00:04:22,587 --> 00:04:23,893 Punishment barn. 82 00:04:24,023 --> 00:04:27,592 I've been in the punishment barn all month. 83 00:04:27,723 --> 00:04:28,680 Fuck you, Kathleen. 84 00:04:33,119 --> 00:04:36,558 [upbeat music playing] 85 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:54,315 [rooster crowing] 86 00:04:54,445 --> 00:04:55,925 Shut your mouth. 87 00:04:56,055 --> 00:04:57,927 [rooster crowing] 88 00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:08,024 Stupid raccoons ate all my kettle corns and on-the-go 89 00:05:08,154 --> 00:05:09,155 desserts. 90 00:05:19,035 --> 00:05:20,036 What's up? 91 00:05:22,691 --> 00:05:24,083 How are we doing. What's up, Gabe? 92 00:05:24,214 --> 00:05:25,128 Good morning. 93 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:28,261 Good morning. 94 00:05:28,392 --> 00:05:30,002 [laughs] Fuck you, dude. 95 00:05:30,133 --> 00:05:31,047 I'm just fucking around. 96 00:05:31,177 --> 00:05:32,222 Can I get some coffee or what? 97 00:05:32,353 --> 00:05:33,919 - Morning family. - Morning. 98 00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:35,138 William. 99 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,226 Good morning. 100 00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:41,231 Thank you. 101 00:05:41,362 --> 00:05:43,451 William-- hello and good morning, Will. 102 00:05:43,581 --> 00:05:46,236 I was just wondering-- and you know how I hate bringing stuff 103 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:48,717 up over and over again, so I'm hoping we can just settle this 104 00:05:48,847 --> 00:05:50,458 right now-- 105 00:05:50,588 --> 00:05:54,549 I was just wondering if I could have a gun or a long sword, 106 00:05:54,679 --> 00:05:56,246 like longer than what I got now. 107 00:05:56,377 --> 00:05:59,075 Because the setup now, dude, is not snagging these raccoons 108 00:05:59,205 --> 00:06:01,730 and they are running buck wild on my various oats 109 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:03,775 and approved crackers. 110 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,037 What's the question? 111 00:06:05,168 --> 00:06:06,212 May I have a gun? 112 00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:07,692 No. 113 00:06:07,823 --> 00:06:09,477 OK. 114 00:06:09,607 --> 00:06:11,653 Agenda B, is it possible to get the generator in the mix? 115 00:06:11,783 --> 00:06:13,350 Because it might not feel like it indoors, 116 00:06:13,481 --> 00:06:14,786 but when you're sleeping outside, 117 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,266 it gets pretty cold at night. 118 00:06:16,397 --> 00:06:18,747 And I would love to just plug in the space heater. 119 00:06:18,877 --> 00:06:20,052 Are we hearing this? 120 00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:22,968 Somebody seems to forget, after tonight, 121 00:06:23,099 --> 00:06:25,536 he's going to be kept plenty warm by the Celestial Bosom. 122 00:06:25,667 --> 00:06:26,624 [laughter] 123 00:06:27,669 --> 00:06:28,539 I know. 124 00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:29,584 I'm sorry. 125 00:06:29,714 --> 00:06:30,846 I'm fucking stupid. 126 00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:32,195 It's going to be awesome, the Bosom, 127 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,718 and I'm jacked for that shit. 128 00:06:33,849 --> 00:06:35,416 So rescinded. 129 00:06:35,546 --> 00:06:36,634 Request rescinded. 130 00:06:36,765 --> 00:06:39,594 Everybody gather around. 131 00:06:39,724 --> 00:06:47,210 So today is obviously a joyous day, and we have so much to do. 132 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:51,649 But it is Tuesday, so you know what that means. 133 00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:52,563 It's-- 134 00:06:52,694 --> 00:06:54,043 Ice cream Tuesday! 135 00:06:54,173 --> 00:06:55,174 [laughter] 136 00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,613 I thought that it couldn't possibly be Ice Cream Tuesday, 137 00:06:58,743 --> 00:07:00,310 but it is Ice Cream Tuesday. 138 00:07:00,441 --> 00:07:01,442 [chatter] 139 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,096 All right. 140 00:07:04,227 --> 00:07:06,185 [spinning] 141 00:07:10,146 --> 00:07:11,103 [cheering] 142 00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:13,366 Oh, fuck. 143 00:07:13,497 --> 00:07:14,803 [chatter] 144 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,550 All right, well, Elizabeth and I are going to get ready to go 145 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,554 to town and when we get back, I'm trusting all of you to have 146 00:07:26,684 --> 00:07:29,295 everything ready for our special night, mm-kay? 147 00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:30,427 Mm-kay. 148 00:07:33,256 --> 00:07:36,215 [upbeat music] 149 00:07:41,177 --> 00:07:42,657 [laughs] 150 00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:16,952 Guys. 151 00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,083 Guys. 152 00:08:21,826 --> 00:08:25,134 What a meal. 153 00:08:25,264 --> 00:08:28,877 Gabriel and Jefferson, that's got to be in your top 10 stews. 154 00:08:29,007 --> 00:08:32,445 And a little birdie told me there might be a cake. 155 00:08:32,576 --> 00:08:34,056 [laughs] 156 00:08:34,186 --> 00:08:36,841 Yeah, but I mean, the stew was so rich and good. 157 00:08:36,972 --> 00:08:38,887 I mean, cake on top of that? 158 00:08:39,017 --> 00:08:40,410 A little over the top, right? 159 00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:42,238 No, I don't think so. 160 00:08:42,368 --> 00:08:43,674 Time for cake. - Yeah. 161 00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:45,458 No, I know, but I'm just saying, like, we 162 00:08:45,589 --> 00:08:49,158 got the whole we're transcending and we got the whole ceremony. 163 00:08:49,288 --> 00:08:51,726 Who wants to be, like, bloated for that? 164 00:08:51,856 --> 00:08:54,250 Jefferson, would you mind going and getting the cake? 165 00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:56,905 It would be my honor. 166 00:08:57,035 --> 00:08:59,124 Yeah, he should-- 167 00:08:59,255 --> 00:09:00,125 he should get the cake. 168 00:09:00,256 --> 00:09:01,692 That's right. 169 00:09:01,823 --> 00:09:03,172 The only thing better than a stew and a Cola 170 00:09:03,302 --> 00:09:04,956 is a stew and a Cola and some cake. 171 00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,001 [laughter] 172 00:09:06,131 --> 00:09:07,437 That's so true. 173 00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:09,570 He just-- yeah, that's good. 174 00:09:22,931 --> 00:09:25,107 Huh. 175 00:09:25,237 --> 00:09:27,544 Well, personally, I would have made the cake a little bigger 176 00:09:27,675 --> 00:09:30,808 myself, but it is a beautiful message, guys. 177 00:09:30,939 --> 00:09:31,853 Whee. 178 00:09:31,983 --> 00:09:32,897 Right? 179 00:09:33,028 --> 00:09:35,291 We're on a roller coaster. 180 00:09:35,421 --> 00:09:37,685 This life of ours, huh? 181 00:09:37,815 --> 00:09:39,600 Chip, did you eat the cake? 182 00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:41,732 For the last time, no. 183 00:09:41,863 --> 00:09:42,864 Outside. 184 00:09:42,994 --> 00:09:43,952 Now. 185 00:09:48,173 --> 00:09:49,784 I wasn't even that much of fuck. 186 00:09:49,914 --> 00:09:50,828 I did a little bit. 187 00:09:56,921 --> 00:09:59,184 Clearly, punishments don't work. 188 00:09:59,315 --> 00:10:03,928 So instead of punishing you, I'm going to empower you. 189 00:10:04,059 --> 00:10:07,105 I had a task I had planned to entrust to Jefferson, 190 00:10:07,236 --> 00:10:09,978 but obviously, now he has to bake a new cake. 191 00:10:10,108 --> 00:10:11,066 Yeah. 192 00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:12,371 Whatever it is, I'll do it. 193 00:10:12,502 --> 00:10:14,112 I just need you to mail an envelope. 194 00:10:14,243 --> 00:10:16,637 Are we sending a bomb to City Hall? 195 00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:19,944 No, it's our tape that we're sending to News Line 196 00:10:20,075 --> 00:10:22,555 to Georgeanne Jennings, to show the world what we've done here. 197 00:10:22,686 --> 00:10:24,688 Yes, that's a beautiful plan, and I will execute it 198 00:10:24,819 --> 00:10:25,950 to perfection for you. 199 00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:27,430 It's already stamped and addressed. 200 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,345 All you have to do is put it in the mailbox 201 00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:31,303 outside the Snack-And-Go. 202 00:10:31,434 --> 00:10:33,741 Can I get a Mr. Slush? 203 00:10:33,871 --> 00:10:35,307 Once the envelope is in the mailbox, 204 00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:36,700 you may get a Mr. slush. 205 00:10:36,831 --> 00:10:38,180 Yes. Thank you, William. 206 00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,442 Thank you so much. 207 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:40,791 I will not squander this opportunity. 208 00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:48,364 I love crackers. 209 00:10:48,494 --> 00:10:50,148 It would have been nice. 210 00:10:50,279 --> 00:10:52,629 [music playing] 211 00:11:00,768 --> 00:11:02,726 Would you guys like to join me in the basement? 212 00:11:02,857 --> 00:11:04,293 I'd love to run something by you. 213 00:11:11,866 --> 00:11:12,780 Fuck. 214 00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:14,695 Look Goddamit. 215 00:11:28,056 --> 00:11:30,972 Guys, bad news. 216 00:11:31,102 --> 00:11:33,017 Somebody tried to jump me. 217 00:11:33,148 --> 00:11:34,802 I fought him off, obviously, but he 218 00:11:34,932 --> 00:11:36,934 did pour his slush all over the envelope. 219 00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:40,285 We are going to need a new one. 220 00:11:40,416 --> 00:11:43,245 Hello? 221 00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:44,768 Where is everybody? 222 00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:47,265 Chip! 223 00:12:47,396 --> 00:12:49,746 Oh my gosh, Chip. 224 00:12:49,877 --> 00:12:51,269 My Chippy is home. 225 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,314 My brother. 226 00:12:52,444 --> 00:12:53,924 Oh, my big baby. 227 00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:55,143 Oh. 228 00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:56,100 Hey. 229 00:12:56,231 --> 00:12:57,145 How are you? 230 00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:58,276 My son's home. 231 00:12:58,407 --> 00:12:59,800 Look at you. 232 00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,976 What the hell happened to you? 233 00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:04,456 [music playing] 234 00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:18,557 Stop jerking off, it's time to go to work. 235 00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:20,908 You want me all backed up in the workplace, dumb ass? 236 00:13:21,038 --> 00:13:22,431 You need to learn to cum faster. 237 00:13:28,176 --> 00:13:30,613 All due respect, Ma, how about a fucking pancake every once 238 00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,310 in a while? 239 00:13:32,441 --> 00:13:34,312 Pancakes didn't get your father, brother, 240 00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:37,098 and me losing over 300 pounds combined. 241 00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:38,795 Doesn't that motivate you, make you 242 00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:41,450 want to make that number 600, maybe 700? 243 00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:42,581 700? 244 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:45,193 How fucking fat do you think I am? 245 00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:47,848 How am I supposed to perform at work if I'm operating 246 00:13:47,978 --> 00:13:49,588 in a caloric deficit all day? 247 00:13:49,719 --> 00:13:51,677 Ha, you mean clock in and play Minesweep for eight hours? 248 00:13:51,808 --> 00:13:53,462 Is that what you're talking about, work? 249 00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:54,811 Take a look around you, Chip. 250 00:13:54,942 --> 00:13:55,943 Look at this beautiful home. 251 00:13:56,073 --> 00:13:57,596 Look at the clothes on your back. 252 00:13:57,727 --> 00:14:00,295 The certified pre-owned Ford Taurus in the driveway. 253 00:14:00,425 --> 00:14:02,732 You think your father could have given us all that if he'd 254 00:14:02,863 --> 00:14:05,039 been playing computer all day? 255 00:14:05,169 --> 00:14:06,301 The answer is no. 256 00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:08,390 It took determination and the ability 257 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,219 to sell the shit out of some gravel. 258 00:14:11,349 --> 00:14:12,785 Your brother gets it. 259 00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:14,787 It's more than just piles of rocks. 260 00:14:14,918 --> 00:14:17,138 Chip, I'm sick of the excuses, kid. 261 00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:19,488 You either make a sale today or you start 262 00:14:19,618 --> 00:14:20,793 looking elsewhere for work. 263 00:14:20,924 --> 00:14:21,925 Elsewhere for work? How? 264 00:14:22,056 --> 00:14:23,274 I have no other skills. 265 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:24,754 Maybe you shouldn't have spent five years 266 00:14:24,885 --> 00:14:26,190 being a sumo wrestler in China. 267 00:14:26,321 --> 00:14:27,931 For the last time, Mom, I was training 268 00:14:28,062 --> 00:14:29,541 to be a karate champion in Tokyo, 269 00:14:29,672 --> 00:14:31,369 but the day before the big championship, 270 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,242 my sensei betrayed me and stole my beautiful girlfriend, Akiko. 271 00:14:34,372 --> 00:14:36,548 I was too heartbroken to fight, and that's why I lost. 272 00:14:36,679 --> 00:14:38,594 Doesn't anybody fucking listen to me in this house? 273 00:14:38,724 --> 00:14:39,812 Enough! 274 00:14:39,943 --> 00:14:44,861 Make a sale today or you're fired. 275 00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,428 [music playing] 276 00:14:46,558 --> 00:14:50,084 Hi, this is Chip Harper from Harper & Son Gravel. 277 00:14:50,214 --> 00:14:52,260 Now, it's your lucky day because we 278 00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:57,569 have some incredible new deals on some fresh, hot rocks. 279 00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:58,919 [phone hanging up] 280 00:14:59,049 --> 00:15:00,224 Well, I don't know. 281 00:15:00,355 --> 00:15:02,139 Would you consider sharing information 282 00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:03,271 with a friend a threat? 283 00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:04,925 [dial tone] 284 00:15:05,055 --> 00:15:06,796 So you're saying you've never had us out there 285 00:15:06,927 --> 00:15:08,189 for gravel maintenance? 286 00:15:08,319 --> 00:15:10,104 Your driveway must look like fucking shit. 287 00:15:10,234 --> 00:15:12,019 You know, people are talking. 288 00:15:12,149 --> 00:15:14,717 They're saying, if that's what the outside looks like, 289 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,458 imagine how fucked up it is inside. 290 00:15:16,588 --> 00:15:19,940 Yeah, your driveway is so fucked up, an officer of the law 291 00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:22,594 believes you got junkies in there shooting up, sucking, 292 00:15:22,725 --> 00:15:24,292 and fucking all over your carpets. 293 00:15:24,422 --> 00:15:26,816 I need you to go into your mommy's purse, 294 00:15:26,947 --> 00:15:30,124 take out her credit card, and then just really slowly 295 00:15:30,254 --> 00:15:33,301 read me every number. 296 00:15:33,431 --> 00:15:35,129 It's 5 o'clock, idiot. 297 00:15:35,259 --> 00:15:36,652 You're fired. 298 00:15:36,782 --> 00:15:37,609 You're fired. [laughs] 299 00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:38,654 What the fuck? 300 00:15:38,784 --> 00:15:39,960 I was going to close that. 301 00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:41,004 Saboteur. 302 00:15:41,135 --> 00:15:42,005 Serpent. 303 00:15:42,136 --> 00:15:43,615 Fired! 304 00:15:43,746 --> 00:15:46,401 I'm going to fucking kill you, Cody. 305 00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:48,490 The disgraced zoologist was eventually 306 00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:51,623 cleared of any inappropriate conduct with the chimpanzee. 307 00:15:51,754 --> 00:15:54,322 For News Line, I'm Georgeanne Jennings. 308 00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:57,238 What the fuck even is this little round rice? 309 00:15:57,368 --> 00:16:00,763 It's called "quin-yo-oa," and it is an ancient grain from 310 00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,199 the jungles of Peru. 311 00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,548 The people who grew it have never even seen 312 00:16:03,679 --> 00:16:05,202 civilization before. 313 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:08,118 Our top story tonight, a Grizzly discovery 314 00:16:08,249 --> 00:16:10,991 in an upstate cabin, as the decomposed remains of five 315 00:16:11,121 --> 00:16:12,557 individuals have been found. 316 00:16:12,688 --> 00:16:15,865 The result of an apparent mass suicide. 317 00:16:15,996 --> 00:16:18,824 A group of local teens made the gruesome discovery 318 00:16:18,955 --> 00:16:21,392 after breaking into the abandoned cabin, 319 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:25,657 possibly to explore one another's bodies. 320 00:16:25,788 --> 00:16:28,225 Authorities speculate that this was a doomsday cult 321 00:16:28,356 --> 00:16:31,707 and have released this photo found at the scene. 322 00:16:31,837 --> 00:16:35,015 Police asked for any information regarding the red-haired man 323 00:16:35,145 --> 00:16:36,712 in the center. 324 00:16:36,842 --> 00:16:40,063 Police are also searching for a potential seventh member 325 00:16:40,194 --> 00:16:44,067 of the cult as a mysterious obese hand can be seen 326 00:16:44,198 --> 00:16:47,505 at the very edge of the photo. 327 00:16:47,636 --> 00:16:49,029 These bozos. 328 00:16:49,159 --> 00:16:50,769 What a bunch of dopes. 329 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,249 That's probably for the best. 330 00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:54,773 If I dressed like that, I'd kill myself, too. 331 00:16:54,904 --> 00:16:56,427 [laughter] 332 00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,255 Yeah, that guy in the middle needs to cut that hair. 333 00:16:58,386 --> 00:17:00,170 Pumpkin-headed bitch. 334 00:17:00,301 --> 00:17:01,867 I bet they're all banging each other. 335 00:17:01,998 --> 00:17:03,869 [laughter] - I'm sure nobody else wants to. 336 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,175 [laughter] 337 00:17:05,306 --> 00:17:06,524 You know what? 338 00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:09,701 Five less freaks walking around, if you ask me. 339 00:17:09,832 --> 00:17:12,313 What do you think, Chip? 340 00:17:12,443 --> 00:17:13,401 Chip? 341 00:17:16,317 --> 00:17:18,667 Chip? 342 00:17:18,797 --> 00:17:20,451 [screams] 343 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,019 William, you fucking piece of shit. 344 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,542 I'm coming to get you, motherfucker. 345 00:17:24,673 --> 00:17:26,501 [horn honking] 346 00:17:31,245 --> 00:17:32,507 You seen this guy? 347 00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:33,551 Nothing. 348 00:17:33,682 --> 00:17:35,075 Seen this person? 349 00:17:35,205 --> 00:17:36,511 Don't look at me like that. 350 00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:37,512 Shit. 351 00:17:37,642 --> 00:17:38,991 Oh, God. 352 00:17:39,122 --> 00:17:40,515 I'm so sorry. 353 00:17:40,645 --> 00:17:42,082 I thought you were this guy that ruined my life. 354 00:17:42,212 --> 00:17:43,561 Well, obviously I'm not. Jesus. 355 00:17:43,692 --> 00:17:44,867 OK, relax. 356 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:46,086 You're really milking this, lady. 357 00:17:46,216 --> 00:17:48,218 Hey, where'd you get that? 358 00:17:48,349 --> 00:17:50,351 It's none of your business, you shit ass. 359 00:17:50,481 --> 00:17:51,439 God. 360 00:17:59,229 --> 00:18:00,535 Hey. Hi, there. 361 00:18:00,665 --> 00:18:01,927 Yeah, hi. 362 00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:03,407 Listen, you ever see this piece of shit? 363 00:18:03,538 --> 00:18:05,061 Yeah, I wish. 364 00:18:05,192 --> 00:18:07,324 I'd love to see a cartoon in real life. 365 00:18:07,455 --> 00:18:10,327 No, it's a real guy. 366 00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:13,113 You know, he looks like one of our old regulars. 367 00:18:13,243 --> 00:18:15,550 Yeah, bad guy. 368 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,378 I don't think I can prove it, but I 369 00:18:17,508 --> 00:18:21,208 think he stole our birthday prize wheel. 370 00:18:21,338 --> 00:18:23,384 Yeah, I haven't seen them in months, though. 371 00:18:23,514 --> 00:18:24,298 Shit. 372 00:18:24,428 --> 00:18:25,734 You know what? 373 00:18:25,864 --> 00:18:27,344 I wouldn't be surprised if he was mixed up 374 00:18:27,475 --> 00:18:29,477 in that cult stuff in the news. 375 00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:30,434 Why do you ask? 376 00:18:30,565 --> 00:18:32,393 Are you a policeman? 377 00:18:32,523 --> 00:18:36,397 Yeah, I'm undercover, FBI. 378 00:18:36,527 --> 00:18:39,095 Listen, you happen to remember this freak's favorite flavor? 379 00:18:39,226 --> 00:18:40,096 Oh, sure. 380 00:18:40,227 --> 00:18:42,838 Yeah strawberry? 381 00:18:42,968 --> 00:18:44,709 I prefer vanilla myself, you know. 382 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,668 Pal, listen, with all due respect, 383 00:18:46,798 --> 00:18:47,886 I don't need your life story. 384 00:18:48,017 --> 00:18:49,975 I'm on an investigation, OK? 385 00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:51,673 So what I need you to do right now, 386 00:18:51,803 --> 00:18:54,066 give me two scoops of strawberry in the cone 387 00:18:54,197 --> 00:18:56,460 with sprinkles on the house. 388 00:18:56,591 --> 00:18:59,724 I got to get in the mind of this freak. 389 00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:01,378 Can you help me scoop the ice cream? 390 00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:03,859 [radio playing] 391 00:19:27,361 --> 00:19:28,318 What? 392 00:19:32,801 --> 00:19:33,845 Get the fuck out of here. 393 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:47,207 [CLOWN VOICE] Oh, balloons for birthday parties. 394 00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:56,390 [grunts] 395 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,174 [girl screams] 396 00:19:58,305 --> 00:19:59,219 [whimpering] 397 00:19:59,349 --> 00:20:00,176 You fucking bastard. 398 00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:01,438 You fucking piece of shit. 399 00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:03,048 I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you. 400 00:20:03,179 --> 00:20:04,093 Eat your fucking nose. 401 00:20:04,224 --> 00:20:05,399 [coughs] 402 00:20:05,529 --> 00:20:06,878 How could you cut me out? 403 00:20:07,009 --> 00:20:08,228 I don't know what you're talking about. 404 00:20:08,358 --> 00:20:09,577 I'm Silly Billy. - Oh, you're Silly Billy, huh? 405 00:20:09,707 --> 00:20:11,448 Well, I was looking for my old pal William, 406 00:20:11,579 --> 00:20:13,189 but I guess I'm going to have to kill a fucking clown. 407 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,582 It's me, William. It's William. 408 00:20:14,712 --> 00:20:16,018 - Is it? - Yes, it is. 409 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,062 [crying] 410 00:20:17,193 --> 00:20:18,542 Why aren't you dead? 411 00:20:18,673 --> 00:20:20,240 Why aren't I dead, either? - I can talk. 412 00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:21,893 I just need you to get off me. 413 00:20:22,024 --> 00:20:24,026 I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what happened. 414 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,028 You were dead lying with the rest of them. 415 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,725 The universe had another plan for me. 416 00:20:32,208 --> 00:20:33,078 Fuck this. 417 00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:34,602 I'm going to the cops. 418 00:20:34,732 --> 00:20:36,734 [grunts] 419 00:20:41,696 --> 00:20:47,615 I did die, Chip, but I was sent back to get you. 420 00:20:47,745 --> 00:20:49,051 To get me? 421 00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,052 Why the fuck didn't you just take me with you 422 00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,271 in the first place? 423 00:20:51,401 --> 00:20:53,795 Believe me, I wanted to, but the others 424 00:20:53,925 --> 00:20:55,579 insisted we transcend without you. 425 00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:56,580 I was overruled. 426 00:20:56,711 --> 00:20:57,973 Bullshit. 427 00:20:58,103 --> 00:21:00,062 And I think, because they had so much hatred 428 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,107 in their hearts for you, that they didn't 429 00:21:02,238 --> 00:21:04,109 return to Jalanzana at all. 430 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,720 They went to Golgomorth. 431 00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:08,723 And because I had nothing but love in my heart for you, 432 00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:09,724 I was spared. 433 00:21:09,854 --> 00:21:11,639 No, fuck that. 434 00:21:11,769 --> 00:21:13,162 You're fucking lying. 435 00:21:13,293 --> 00:21:16,208 Didn't you see me there, dead, with your own eyes? 436 00:21:21,562 --> 00:21:22,476 Yeah. 437 00:21:27,959 --> 00:21:30,092 Why else would I be back from the dead? 438 00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,746 I'm not a magician. 439 00:21:31,876 --> 00:21:33,225 I don't know. 440 00:21:33,356 --> 00:21:34,357 Maybe you had some, like, unfinished business 441 00:21:34,488 --> 00:21:36,185 or something. - Right. 442 00:21:36,316 --> 00:21:39,580 Maybe you had to fix the biggest fuck up of your whole life. 443 00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:40,798 Exactly. 444 00:21:40,929 --> 00:21:43,453 You couldn't transcend without me. 445 00:21:43,584 --> 00:21:44,846 We need each other. 446 00:21:44,976 --> 00:21:45,934 That's right. 447 00:21:46,064 --> 00:21:47,239 We need each other. 448 00:21:47,370 --> 00:21:49,981 We have to start a new family. 449 00:21:50,112 --> 00:21:51,679 What's that? 450 00:21:51,809 --> 00:21:53,507 You said it yourself, the last one was full of snakes. 451 00:21:53,637 --> 00:21:55,073 They betrayed both of us. 452 00:21:55,204 --> 00:21:56,553 You weren't meant to die with them 453 00:21:56,684 --> 00:21:58,468 and I wasn't meant to sell fucking gravel. 454 00:21:58,599 --> 00:22:00,296 They sent you back for me. 455 00:22:00,427 --> 00:22:01,906 We get another crack at this, dude. 456 00:22:02,037 --> 00:22:03,560 We're going to do it right this time. 457 00:22:03,691 --> 00:22:06,607 With your knowledge and my power, we're unstoppable, right? 458 00:22:06,737 --> 00:22:08,565 That's what you're saying, right? 459 00:22:08,696 --> 00:22:10,001 More or less. 460 00:22:10,132 --> 00:22:11,568 And we're actually going to transcend this time 461 00:22:11,699 --> 00:22:15,746 because we'll both be leaders, co-leaders. 462 00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:18,445 Well-- 463 00:22:18,575 --> 00:22:19,968 Or you could go to fucking jail. 464 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,153 [laughs] 465 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:33,590 Why are you a clown, dude? 466 00:22:33,721 --> 00:22:38,247 Well, think about it. 467 00:22:38,378 --> 00:22:40,205 I've been living in the woods for a while. 468 00:22:40,336 --> 00:22:43,121 Eventually, I ran out of food. 469 00:22:43,252 --> 00:22:44,732 I have to go out, so I figured nobody 470 00:22:44,862 --> 00:22:46,516 can tell who I am in this. 471 00:22:46,647 --> 00:22:48,692 So I go out. 472 00:22:48,823 --> 00:22:49,998 I get work. 473 00:22:50,128 --> 00:22:50,999 I get money. 474 00:22:51,129 --> 00:22:51,956 I get food. 475 00:22:52,087 --> 00:22:53,523 I go back to the woods. 476 00:22:53,654 --> 00:22:56,700 Kind of an ideal situation, given the circumstances. 477 00:22:56,831 --> 00:23:00,225 But now the heat's probably off a little bit, 478 00:23:00,356 --> 00:23:02,445 I'm kind of looking forward to starting over. 479 00:23:02,576 --> 00:23:03,490 Dating? 480 00:23:03,620 --> 00:23:04,708 Who knows? 481 00:23:04,839 --> 00:23:06,144 Dating? 482 00:23:06,275 --> 00:23:09,234 Dude, they found the bodies yesterday. 483 00:23:09,365 --> 00:23:10,975 No, they didn't. 484 00:23:11,106 --> 00:23:12,890 They found the bodies months ago because once News Line got 485 00:23:13,021 --> 00:23:15,023 the tape, the police would have went to the house. 486 00:23:20,855 --> 00:23:22,509 See, the thing about the tape, actually, 487 00:23:22,639 --> 00:23:25,816 is due to circumstances that were not under my control, 488 00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:27,905 I wasn't able to mail the tape. 489 00:23:28,036 --> 00:23:28,906 You didn't mail the tape? 490 00:23:29,037 --> 00:23:31,213 So where is it? 491 00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:33,694 Well, think about me. 492 00:23:33,824 --> 00:23:35,609 You sent me out on this important mission 493 00:23:35,739 --> 00:23:36,827 and it gets fucked up. 494 00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:38,786 Not my fault. So I'm running back 495 00:23:38,916 --> 00:23:41,005 to make sure everything goes according to your plan. 496 00:23:41,136 --> 00:23:42,529 And how am I rewarded? 497 00:23:42,659 --> 00:23:43,965 So I'm pissed off. 498 00:23:44,095 --> 00:23:45,662 And I build a fire and I take off all my stuff 499 00:23:45,793 --> 00:23:47,490 from the family. I take off my uniform. 500 00:23:47,621 --> 00:23:49,579 I throw that in there, my sandals. 501 00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:51,494 So you burned the tape? 502 00:23:51,625 --> 00:23:54,018 Yeah. 503 00:23:54,149 --> 00:23:55,063 Yeah, I burned it. 504 00:23:55,193 --> 00:23:56,456 I burned it. 505 00:23:56,586 --> 00:23:57,718 I burned the tape. 506 00:23:57,848 --> 00:23:59,763 You saved my life, you know that? 507 00:23:59,894 --> 00:24:00,764 Really? 508 00:24:00,895 --> 00:24:02,331 Yeah. 509 00:24:02,462 --> 00:24:03,898 If they had that tape, I'd be in prison right now. 510 00:24:04,028 --> 00:24:05,247 Holy shit. 511 00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:07,118 This is really meant to be, isn't it? 512 00:24:07,249 --> 00:24:08,380 It is. 513 00:24:08,511 --> 00:24:11,601 Hey, I got something I got to do, 514 00:24:11,732 --> 00:24:14,822 so I'll be right back in just a few hours, OK? 515 00:24:14,952 --> 00:24:16,258 No way, dude. 516 00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:17,955 From now on we're going everywhere together. 517 00:24:18,086 --> 00:24:20,044 We're going to be, like, that type of twin that's 518 00:24:20,175 --> 00:24:23,483 like, two guys mashed into each other, sharing armpits and shit. 519 00:24:23,613 --> 00:24:24,788 That's going to be us. 520 00:24:24,919 --> 00:24:25,702 [doorbell ring] 521 00:24:25,833 --> 00:24:26,921 [children playing] 522 00:24:27,051 --> 00:24:28,313 I hear it's somebody's birthday. 523 00:24:28,444 --> 00:24:30,315 [silly laughter] 524 00:24:31,534 --> 00:24:34,232 Well, kids, my name is Silly Billy, 525 00:24:34,363 --> 00:24:36,757 and this is my partner, Pancakes. 526 00:24:36,887 --> 00:24:40,848 But pancakes is not allowed to speak because pancakes 527 00:24:40,978 --> 00:24:41,936 is in training. 528 00:24:42,066 --> 00:24:43,241 [silly laughter] 529 00:24:43,372 --> 00:24:46,767 So how did you find these guys? 530 00:24:46,897 --> 00:24:49,900 Well, we had a Power Ranger bot, 531 00:24:50,031 --> 00:24:53,121 but apparently, his house exploded. 532 00:24:53,251 --> 00:24:54,862 And the skinny one there, he's always 533 00:24:54,992 --> 00:24:57,299 giving me balloons in the park so I felt bad for him. 534 00:24:57,429 --> 00:24:58,300 [pop] 535 00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:00,215 Hey, cakes fell off the horse. 536 00:25:00,345 --> 00:25:01,695 I have to give him CPR. 537 00:25:01,825 --> 00:25:03,697 [silly laughter] 538 00:25:03,827 --> 00:25:05,002 - I got to piss. - All right. 539 00:25:05,133 --> 00:25:06,526 [silly laugh] 540 00:25:07,527 --> 00:25:08,789 It's going to happen. 541 00:25:08,919 --> 00:25:09,877 [fart] 542 00:25:12,923 --> 00:25:14,534 [silly laughter] 543 00:25:14,664 --> 00:25:16,318 Actually, Pancakes needs to go inside right now and do 544 00:25:16,448 --> 00:25:17,841 something else. 545 00:25:17,972 --> 00:25:22,150 So he'll do that and we'll see what we got in here. 546 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,195 [toilet flushing] 547 00:25:32,639 --> 00:25:34,118 I need to get in shape. 548 00:25:34,249 --> 00:25:35,076 I guess I'll jump rope. 549 00:25:35,206 --> 00:25:36,120 [snap] 550 00:25:36,251 --> 00:25:37,687 Oh, sorry about that. 551 00:25:37,818 --> 00:25:40,168 [rock music playing] 552 00:25:44,215 --> 00:25:46,261 What exactly are you up to down here, young man? 553 00:25:48,872 --> 00:25:50,221 Let's blow one up, huh? 554 00:25:52,963 --> 00:25:54,704 Oh. 555 00:25:54,835 --> 00:25:58,403 Dude, I know, homework fucking sucks, dude. 556 00:25:58,534 --> 00:26:00,275 [silly laughter] 557 00:26:02,756 --> 00:26:04,279 I wonder where pancakes is. 558 00:26:04,409 --> 00:26:05,323 Where's pancakes? 559 00:26:05,454 --> 00:26:06,586 [knocking] 560 00:26:06,716 --> 00:26:08,892 Better hurry up and get back up here 561 00:26:09,023 --> 00:26:11,460 and come back upstairs right now. 562 00:26:14,898 --> 00:26:16,247 Look at the hot dog. 563 00:26:16,378 --> 00:26:18,119 Now, you see, a lot of people think that, 564 00:26:18,249 --> 00:26:21,426 but the fighting is actually the easy part of "ka-ra-tay." 565 00:26:21,557 --> 00:26:24,255 What's hard is the iron lung discipline. 566 00:26:24,386 --> 00:26:26,431 See, not a lot of people got the kind of discipline 567 00:26:26,562 --> 00:26:30,392 I did, but I think you got it in you, kid. 568 00:26:30,522 --> 00:26:32,742 Thanks, Pancakes. 569 00:26:32,873 --> 00:26:33,830 Mister! 570 00:26:33,961 --> 00:26:35,179 Take it easy, lady, I'm high. 571 00:26:35,310 --> 00:26:37,094 You're moving so slow. [grunts] 572 00:26:37,225 --> 00:26:38,618 What's happening? 573 00:26:38,748 --> 00:26:40,184 This woman thinks I'm trying to fuck her son. 574 00:26:40,315 --> 00:26:41,272 I never said that. 575 00:26:41,403 --> 00:26:42,883 Good, 'cause I wasn't. 576 00:26:43,013 --> 00:26:44,841 OK, you perverts need to get the hell out. 577 00:26:44,972 --> 00:26:45,799 Now! 578 00:26:45,929 --> 00:26:47,496 We are so sorry, ma'am. 579 00:26:47,627 --> 00:26:48,715 We will just take our payment and be out of your hair. 580 00:26:48,845 --> 00:26:49,890 Payment? 581 00:26:50,020 --> 00:26:51,456 This lunatic gave drugs to my son. 582 00:26:51,587 --> 00:26:53,284 Hey, he smoked me out. 583 00:26:53,415 --> 00:26:55,765 [upbeat music] 584 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:04,121 Are you mad at me? 585 00:27:04,252 --> 00:27:07,516 Yeah, I am. 586 00:27:07,647 --> 00:27:09,692 I guess we really needed that 80 bucks, huh? 587 00:27:09,823 --> 00:27:10,693 Yeah, we did. 588 00:27:10,824 --> 00:27:13,740 That was kind of the whole point. 589 00:27:13,870 --> 00:27:16,481 I guess we should probably just give up? 590 00:27:16,612 --> 00:27:19,223 Yeah, I think that's the play. 591 00:27:19,354 --> 00:27:21,008 Yeah, maybe it is. 592 00:27:21,138 --> 00:27:24,794 Or maybe it fucking isn't, you fucking dummy. 593 00:27:24,925 --> 00:27:26,230 Look at this shit, huh? 594 00:27:26,361 --> 00:27:28,755 There's 200 bones in here. 595 00:27:28,885 --> 00:27:30,495 Serves that lady right, leaving her purse 596 00:27:30,626 --> 00:27:32,497 unattended in her own home. 597 00:27:32,628 --> 00:27:33,934 Hey, and that's not it. 598 00:27:34,064 --> 00:27:34,935 Huh? 599 00:27:35,065 --> 00:27:36,501 That's real gold. 600 00:27:36,632 --> 00:27:39,026 We came up with, like, 600 bucks just now, William. 601 00:27:39,156 --> 00:27:40,375 Cheer up, you little fucker. 602 00:27:40,505 --> 00:27:42,116 [laughs] 603 00:27:42,246 --> 00:27:43,595 Hey, if you're going to do stuff 604 00:27:43,726 --> 00:27:46,424 like that, though, you got to run it by me, OK? 605 00:27:46,555 --> 00:27:47,338 OK. 606 00:27:47,469 --> 00:27:49,079 We're co-leaders now. 607 00:27:49,210 --> 00:27:51,647 You deserve-- you know, I should never go rogue ever again. 608 00:27:51,778 --> 00:27:54,694 Co-leaders always align, and from now on I 609 00:27:54,824 --> 00:27:57,044 will run everything by you. 610 00:27:57,174 --> 00:27:58,219 Starting now. 611 00:27:58,349 --> 00:28:00,047 What do we do next, co-leader? 612 00:28:00,177 --> 00:28:04,616 OK, I have a place we can go, but we cannot show up like this. 613 00:28:04,747 --> 00:28:07,010 I could use a shower, too. 614 00:28:07,141 --> 00:28:09,056 Yeah, dude, you're right about that. 615 00:28:09,186 --> 00:28:10,710 I didn't to say anything, but you 616 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,278 smell like an armpit took a shit in a lady's pussy. 617 00:28:14,409 --> 00:28:15,410 You smelly stinky. 618 00:28:18,021 --> 00:28:20,676 I cannot wait to get some followers. 619 00:28:20,807 --> 00:28:23,592 I think we need like 10 or 15 to start. 620 00:28:23,723 --> 00:28:26,551 We can start with one and we'll see how that goes. 621 00:28:35,691 --> 00:28:37,954 Whoa, that guy looks strong. 622 00:28:38,085 --> 00:28:41,088 Yeah, but he's not what we're looking for. 623 00:28:41,218 --> 00:28:42,132 OK? 624 00:28:44,918 --> 00:28:47,398 Oh, that guy looks strong and cool. 625 00:28:47,529 --> 00:28:48,748 Not our guy. 626 00:28:51,838 --> 00:28:53,970 Who exactly are we looking for here, man? 627 00:28:54,101 --> 00:28:55,885 Someone with a certain energy. 628 00:29:00,194 --> 00:29:01,151 That's our guy. 629 00:29:06,809 --> 00:29:09,290 13. 630 00:29:09,420 --> 00:29:11,248 Wow, look at you go. 631 00:29:11,379 --> 00:29:12,336 Excuse me. 632 00:29:12,467 --> 00:29:13,250 Sorry. 633 00:29:13,381 --> 00:29:14,817 Sorry about that. 634 00:29:14,948 --> 00:29:17,385 Oh, gosh, the Army sure is lucky to have you. 635 00:29:17,515 --> 00:29:20,388 Yeah, well, they actually decided 636 00:29:20,518 --> 00:29:22,477 to go in a different direction today. 637 00:29:22,607 --> 00:29:23,565 Oh, no. 638 00:29:23,695 --> 00:29:25,175 Why is that? 639 00:29:25,306 --> 00:29:26,960 They said I have something called celery bones, which 640 00:29:27,090 --> 00:29:31,355 is like where the bone is a horseshoe style dead around. 641 00:29:31,486 --> 00:29:32,922 So I can't do it. 642 00:29:33,053 --> 00:29:34,619 Somebody as strong as you? 643 00:29:34,750 --> 00:29:35,969 And you even have the outfit. 644 00:29:36,099 --> 00:29:38,449 They say dress for the job you want, right? 645 00:29:38,580 --> 00:29:41,191 They don't say how to dress when you don't get it. 646 00:29:41,322 --> 00:29:42,410 About how old are you? 647 00:29:42,540 --> 00:29:43,890 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm Tyler. 648 00:29:44,020 --> 00:29:45,413 I'm 25. It's nice to meet you. 649 00:29:45,543 --> 00:29:47,067 - It's nice to meet you, too. - Yeah. 650 00:29:47,197 --> 00:29:48,503 That's a great name, by the way. 651 00:29:48,633 --> 00:29:51,158 Tyler, I got to tell you, if I was the Army, 652 00:29:51,288 --> 00:29:53,029 I'd make you a five-star general. 653 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,206 I appreciate that, sir, but you are not the real Army, 654 00:29:56,337 --> 00:29:57,164 and they don't want me. 655 00:29:57,294 --> 00:29:58,165 Yeah, well, I do. 656 00:29:58,295 --> 00:29:59,601 I agree with William. 657 00:29:59,731 --> 00:30:01,864 I would make you like an eight-star general. 658 00:30:01,995 --> 00:30:03,300 He's William, by the way. 659 00:30:03,431 --> 00:30:05,128 I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. 660 00:30:05,259 --> 00:30:06,869 I'm Chip. 661 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,132 Well, William and Chimp, it was nice to meet you guys. 662 00:30:09,263 --> 00:30:10,742 Chip. 663 00:30:10,873 --> 00:30:12,657 Well, it was nice to meet you guys, but I don't know. 664 00:30:12,788 --> 00:30:14,224 I just have to go figure out what I'm going 665 00:30:14,355 --> 00:30:15,356 to do with the rest of my life. 666 00:30:15,486 --> 00:30:17,793 So adios, I guess. 667 00:30:17,924 --> 00:30:19,621 Maybe we could help you with that. 668 00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:20,796 Do you like bowling? 669 00:30:20,927 --> 00:30:22,450 [music playing] 670 00:30:22,580 --> 00:30:25,192 Yes, I do. 671 00:30:25,322 --> 00:30:27,150 [pins falling] 672 00:30:31,546 --> 00:30:33,722 The balls are fucked here, dude. 673 00:30:33,853 --> 00:30:36,290 So you guys are like a family? 674 00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:37,813 We're not like a family. 675 00:30:37,944 --> 00:30:40,163 We are a family. 676 00:30:40,294 --> 00:30:42,339 Except we don't have the petty squabbles 677 00:30:42,470 --> 00:30:44,994 a family has because we've chosen one another. 678 00:30:45,125 --> 00:30:46,430 That's right. 679 00:30:46,561 --> 00:30:48,737 No asshole brothers barging on your privacy, 680 00:30:48,868 --> 00:30:50,478 dad threatening to fire you. 681 00:30:50,608 --> 00:30:52,959 No Uncle Aaron stuffing you in a sleeping bag, 682 00:30:53,089 --> 00:30:55,222 not letting your ass out, swinging you around 683 00:30:55,352 --> 00:30:57,180 like a sack of wet meat. 684 00:30:57,311 --> 00:31:01,271 And you're like, screaming, like [screams]. 685 00:31:01,402 --> 00:31:02,838 Help me. 686 00:31:02,969 --> 00:31:04,796 Let me out. 687 00:31:04,927 --> 00:31:10,193 And yet he doesn't let you out and you nearly sweat to death. 688 00:31:10,324 --> 00:31:11,238 Right. 689 00:31:11,368 --> 00:31:12,935 None of that shit, no. 690 00:31:13,066 --> 00:31:15,285 And we'll fuck your uncle up if you want. 691 00:31:15,416 --> 00:31:16,852 Oh, he was in chronic pain. 692 00:31:16,983 --> 00:31:18,245 He ended it. 693 00:31:18,375 --> 00:31:21,117 Oh, well, if he was alive, we'd fuck him up. 694 00:31:21,248 --> 00:31:23,554 Even if he was, like, old as shit or in a wheelchair 695 00:31:23,685 --> 00:31:25,295 or had one of those fucked up little hands. 696 00:31:25,426 --> 00:31:26,688 That's true. We would. 697 00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:28,081 Really? 698 00:31:28,211 --> 00:31:29,343 Appreciate that, guys. 699 00:31:29,473 --> 00:31:30,735 Gosh. 700 00:31:30,866 --> 00:31:32,781 Dude, you're going to learn so much from us. 701 00:31:32,912 --> 00:31:34,217 It might be hard for you to imagine, 702 00:31:34,348 --> 00:31:36,306 but I wasn't always this good at leadership. 703 00:31:36,437 --> 00:31:37,612 William taught me. 704 00:31:37,742 --> 00:31:40,267 And together, we're both going to teach you. 705 00:31:40,397 --> 00:31:41,224 That's right. 706 00:31:41,355 --> 00:31:42,573 Cool. 707 00:31:42,704 --> 00:31:44,097 We should hit the road, but maybe you 708 00:31:44,227 --> 00:31:45,968 want to pick up a change of clothes? 709 00:31:46,099 --> 00:31:48,971 Perhaps anything else of value you might own. 710 00:31:49,102 --> 00:31:50,233 It's a beautiful thing. 711 00:31:50,364 --> 00:31:51,843 We share it all. 712 00:31:51,974 --> 00:31:53,933 I'm kind of in, like, a transitional phase right now, 713 00:31:54,063 --> 00:31:56,936 but I might have a couple things back in my place. 714 00:32:02,202 --> 00:32:05,292 I got to say, I'm not really finding much here. 715 00:32:05,422 --> 00:32:06,597 Dude, speak for yourself. 716 00:32:06,728 --> 00:32:07,903 Look at this thing, huh? 717 00:32:08,034 --> 00:32:09,209 This will come in handy the next time 718 00:32:09,339 --> 00:32:10,732 we need to send a tape to the news, huh? 719 00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:13,039 Hey, Tyler, I had a question about this. 720 00:32:13,169 --> 00:32:14,649 Is this gold? Is this made of gold, or-- 721 00:32:14,779 --> 00:32:16,042 Oh, chill. Chill. 722 00:32:16,172 --> 00:32:17,739 That's actually not mine to give away. 723 00:32:17,869 --> 00:32:18,914 Whose is it? 724 00:32:19,045 --> 00:32:20,002 [chatter] 725 00:32:21,047 --> 00:32:22,265 No. 726 00:32:22,396 --> 00:32:23,571 No. No. 727 00:32:23,701 --> 00:32:25,268 No. No. 728 00:32:25,399 --> 00:32:27,662 You said you were joining the Army, 729 00:32:27,792 --> 00:32:29,707 or going to Vietnam or whatever. 730 00:32:29,838 --> 00:32:32,928 You can't be in here with a bunch of homeless people. 731 00:32:33,059 --> 00:32:34,712 You play with my mind too much, baby. 732 00:32:34,843 --> 00:32:36,366 She's playing, guys. She's just kidding. 733 00:32:36,497 --> 00:32:39,935 William, Chip, this is my beautiful fiancé, Meredith. 734 00:32:40,066 --> 00:32:44,113 You can't call someone your fiancé if they say no. 735 00:32:44,244 --> 00:32:45,985 Hey, guys. 736 00:32:46,115 --> 00:32:47,029 My name is Bo. 737 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,162 I hope I'm not intruding. 738 00:32:49,292 --> 00:32:52,382 Meredith and I just had a lovely steak dinner. 739 00:32:52,513 --> 00:32:55,516 However, despite the food being delicious, 740 00:32:55,646 --> 00:32:59,694 it could not even hold a candle to the conversation. 741 00:33:02,479 --> 00:33:04,003 Sounds awesome, man. I'm Tyler. 742 00:33:04,133 --> 00:33:05,134 Pleasure to meet you. 743 00:33:05,265 --> 00:33:07,223 Thank you for your service, sir. 744 00:33:07,354 --> 00:33:09,095 Meredith, have a lovely night, but I 745 00:33:09,225 --> 00:33:10,313 think I'm going to go home. 746 00:33:10,444 --> 00:33:11,271 What? 747 00:33:11,401 --> 00:33:12,402 No. 748 00:33:12,533 --> 00:33:14,100 I'm not done with you yet. 749 00:33:14,230 --> 00:33:15,753 You're staying here tonight. 750 00:33:15,884 --> 00:33:17,886 Meredith, I think you should know I'm leaving town 751 00:33:18,017 --> 00:33:19,888 to try and find myself. 752 00:33:20,019 --> 00:33:22,586 And God willing, if I come back, I 753 00:33:22,717 --> 00:33:28,114 pray I may become a better man, perhaps the men of your dreams. 754 00:33:28,244 --> 00:33:29,158 Leave the keys. 755 00:33:29,289 --> 00:33:30,246 Come on. 756 00:33:34,990 --> 00:33:37,253 Jesus Christ, dude, are you all right? 757 00:33:37,384 --> 00:33:38,298 I'm fine, dude. 758 00:33:38,428 --> 00:33:39,603 What are you talking about? 759 00:33:39,734 --> 00:33:41,605 I'm chilling with my new best friends. 760 00:33:41,736 --> 00:33:42,954 I'm having a good time. 761 00:33:43,085 --> 00:33:44,391 We should get going, though. 762 00:33:44,521 --> 00:33:46,088 It's about that time. 763 00:33:46,219 --> 00:33:48,308 Listen, we're about to go on an amazing journey, right? 764 00:33:48,438 --> 00:33:50,353 We're going to go see crazy stuff. 765 00:33:50,484 --> 00:33:53,443 Let me just give us one gift before we go, 766 00:33:53,574 --> 00:33:55,663 a gift of hospitality. 767 00:33:55,793 --> 00:34:00,102 Tonight, why don't we stay Casa Tyler style-- 768 00:34:00,233 --> 00:34:03,801 sleepover right here, like we did when we were babies. 769 00:34:03,932 --> 00:34:06,021 Going crazy sounds awesome, but we do kind of need 770 00:34:06,152 --> 00:34:07,370 to get going. 771 00:34:07,501 --> 00:34:09,068 I'm not taking no for an answer, dude. 772 00:34:09,198 --> 00:34:11,461 We're staying here tonight, and we're going to have fun. 773 00:34:11,592 --> 00:34:13,507 And you're going to have some drinks at my fridge 774 00:34:13,637 --> 00:34:15,639 and we're going to play some games. 775 00:34:15,770 --> 00:34:17,728 We're going to have snacks. 776 00:34:17,859 --> 00:34:18,903 What kind of snacks? 777 00:34:19,034 --> 00:34:19,991 Dried fruit. 778 00:34:23,386 --> 00:34:25,214 Bring it on. 779 00:34:25,345 --> 00:34:26,911 You're really good at this game, dude. 780 00:34:27,042 --> 00:34:28,130 Thanks, man. 781 00:34:28,261 --> 00:34:29,392 Psych. 782 00:34:29,523 --> 00:34:31,307 I'm about to blast your little nuts. 783 00:34:31,438 --> 00:34:35,224 [faint sex noises] 784 00:34:35,355 --> 00:34:37,096 I've never played with someone else before. 785 00:34:37,226 --> 00:34:38,097 It's so much more fun. 786 00:34:41,709 --> 00:34:43,493 Oh, my God. 787 00:34:43,624 --> 00:34:44,668 Oh, yes. 788 00:34:44,799 --> 00:34:45,626 Here comes everything. 789 00:34:45,756 --> 00:34:46,757 [screams] 790 00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:50,892 Guys, just remember, if anybody asks, 791 00:34:51,022 --> 00:34:52,328 we're here for the conference. 792 00:34:52,459 --> 00:34:53,764 Nobody ever asks. 793 00:34:53,895 --> 00:34:55,462 Do you know how many free hotel breakfasts 794 00:34:55,592 --> 00:34:56,637 I've got in my fucking life? 795 00:35:02,338 --> 00:35:05,950 When you make a wish on a star, every dream in your heart 796 00:35:06,081 --> 00:35:07,952 might actually come true. 797 00:35:08,083 --> 00:35:08,997 What a joke. 798 00:35:09,128 --> 00:35:10,259 No, it's a song. 799 00:35:10,390 --> 00:35:13,044 It's from a movie about the wooden child. 800 00:35:13,175 --> 00:35:14,872 I can't remember the name right now. 801 00:35:15,003 --> 00:35:18,311 I can't remember the name of the movie, but it was a wooden boy. 802 00:35:18,441 --> 00:35:21,096 And he taught me so many things. 803 00:35:21,227 --> 00:35:23,620 He taught me that if you lie, guess what? 804 00:35:23,751 --> 00:35:25,318 Your nose will grow as long as a hot dog. 805 00:35:25,448 --> 00:35:27,276 Somebody ought to tell her that she'd better 806 00:35:27,407 --> 00:35:28,451 watch her nose. 807 00:35:28,582 --> 00:35:30,192 - Who, Judge Linda Booch? - Yeah. 808 00:35:30,323 --> 00:35:31,759 Why? What'd she do? 809 00:35:31,889 --> 00:35:33,587 I was just trying to participate in the conference, 810 00:35:33,717 --> 00:35:35,328 you know? 811 00:35:35,458 --> 00:35:37,243 Yeah and I asked her a really simple, straightforward 812 00:35:37,373 --> 00:35:40,333 question, and she refused to answer in front of everybody 813 00:35:40,463 --> 00:35:41,551 and embarrass me. 814 00:35:41,682 --> 00:35:43,640 You see those women over there? 815 00:35:43,771 --> 00:35:45,990 They're in charge of this stupid event. 816 00:35:46,121 --> 00:35:46,991 They also screamed at me. 817 00:35:47,122 --> 00:35:48,210 What? 818 00:35:48,341 --> 00:35:49,690 And they made me leave the room. 819 00:35:49,820 --> 00:35:51,561 Well, that puts them on the naughty list. 820 00:35:51,692 --> 00:35:52,997 Yeah, I got a target on my back. 821 00:35:53,128 --> 00:35:54,042 I'm Tyler, by the way. 822 00:35:54,173 --> 00:35:55,522 It's nice to meet you. - Hi. 823 00:35:55,652 --> 00:35:57,306 - Hey. - I'm Diane. 824 00:35:57,437 --> 00:35:59,003 - Nice to meet you, Diane. - Nice to meet you. 825 00:35:59,134 --> 00:36:00,353 Yeah. 826 00:36:00,483 --> 00:36:02,703 What do we tell Tyler about transcending? 827 00:36:02,833 --> 00:36:05,140 I say we do it now and get him pumped off the rip. 828 00:36:05,271 --> 00:36:06,141 Not yet. 829 00:36:06,272 --> 00:36:07,186 It takes time. 830 00:36:07,316 --> 00:36:08,404 You have to build trust. 831 00:36:08,535 --> 00:36:09,710 All right, well, can we tell him 832 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,364 about the Galactic Palace of NamNam Jazar? 833 00:36:11,494 --> 00:36:13,061 No. 834 00:36:13,192 --> 00:36:14,671 The energy dolphins swimming through an ocean of cloud? 835 00:36:14,802 --> 00:36:15,759 Not yet. 836 00:36:15,890 --> 00:36:17,239 The seduction of Bound Latham? 837 00:36:17,370 --> 00:36:18,719 The Ceremony of Endless Beginnings? 838 00:36:18,849 --> 00:36:20,460 Why can't we tell him anything cool? 839 00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:23,506 Let me lay it out for you in a way you might understand. 840 00:36:23,637 --> 00:36:25,769 Would Colonel Sanders share his secret spice recipe 841 00:36:25,900 --> 00:36:27,989 with somebody he just met? 842 00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:29,599 Of course not. 843 00:36:29,730 --> 00:36:32,080 He's famously tight-lipped with regards to his chicken. 844 00:36:32,211 --> 00:36:33,690 And look how successful he is. 845 00:36:36,998 --> 00:36:39,087 Holy shit. 846 00:36:39,218 --> 00:36:40,523 Morning, ladies. 847 00:36:40,654 --> 00:36:42,569 You are all looking very lovely today-- 848 00:36:42,699 --> 00:36:45,485 for a bunch of snakes. 849 00:36:45,615 --> 00:36:46,790 That's my friend right there. 850 00:36:46,921 --> 00:36:47,791 That's Diane. 851 00:36:47,922 --> 00:36:49,576 That's my new friend. 852 00:36:49,706 --> 00:36:52,056 And she was just telling me about your, frankly, disgusting 853 00:36:52,187 --> 00:36:53,841 conduct that you showed her this morning. 854 00:36:53,971 --> 00:36:55,408 Vile. 855 00:36:55,538 --> 00:36:57,627 You are all being vile to her, and that does not 856 00:36:57,758 --> 00:36:59,368 sit right with me, OK? 857 00:36:59,499 --> 00:37:00,891 So I'm asking you-- 858 00:37:01,022 --> 00:37:03,285 I am asking you as an American citizen-- 859 00:37:03,416 --> 00:37:05,853 to go apologize to her right now. 860 00:37:05,983 --> 00:37:07,681 No threat. 861 00:37:07,811 --> 00:37:10,031 I'm not threatening you, but you must do it. 862 00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:19,606 Guys, this is Diane, and I feel like she 863 00:37:19,736 --> 00:37:21,956 might be exactly the kind of person we're looking for. 864 00:37:22,086 --> 00:37:23,479 - Hi, guys. - Hell, yeah. 865 00:37:23,610 --> 00:37:24,915 Welcome, Diane. 866 00:37:25,046 --> 00:37:26,134 Well, hold on. 867 00:37:26,265 --> 00:37:27,353 The way you guys were talking, you 868 00:37:27,483 --> 00:37:29,093 said this group is all about community. 869 00:37:29,224 --> 00:37:31,139 It's all about helping kindred spirits, whatever. 870 00:37:31,270 --> 00:37:32,488 - Yup. - She's awesome. 871 00:37:32,619 --> 00:37:33,750 Right. 872 00:37:33,881 --> 00:37:35,230 It's just kind of a vetting process. 873 00:37:35,361 --> 00:37:36,927 And I'm sure you're a lovely person, but-- 874 00:37:37,058 --> 00:37:37,885 Say no more. 875 00:37:38,015 --> 00:37:39,190 I totally get it. 876 00:37:39,321 --> 00:37:40,583 I don't want to be a burden on you. 877 00:37:40,714 --> 00:37:42,106 I've been a burden my whole life. 878 00:37:42,237 --> 00:37:44,761 Been pretty much a drain on everyone I've ever met. 879 00:37:44,892 --> 00:37:46,415 It's all good. 880 00:37:46,546 --> 00:37:47,416 It's nice while it lasted. 881 00:37:47,547 --> 00:37:48,504 Bye, guys. 882 00:37:54,728 --> 00:37:56,512 Hold on. 883 00:37:56,643 --> 00:37:57,948 You didn't let me finish. 884 00:37:58,079 --> 00:37:59,689 We were just about to leave. 885 00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:04,259 And we just realized that none of us know how to use a map, 886 00:38:04,390 --> 00:38:06,696 so we could use someone to help us navigate, 887 00:38:06,827 --> 00:38:09,133 and we'd like you to join us. 888 00:38:09,264 --> 00:38:10,047 It's my idea. 889 00:38:10,178 --> 00:38:11,048 [cheering] 890 00:38:11,179 --> 00:38:12,354 Oh my gosh. 891 00:38:12,485 --> 00:38:13,747 Yes. 892 00:38:13,877 --> 00:38:15,314 Hell, yeah. 893 00:38:15,444 --> 00:38:17,054 - Yes. - Awesome. 894 00:38:17,185 --> 00:38:18,404 Awesome. 895 00:38:18,534 --> 00:38:20,319 I just have to do one thing really quick, 896 00:38:20,449 --> 00:38:23,017 so can I meet you in the parking lot in a couple minutes? 897 00:38:23,147 --> 00:38:24,192 - Yeah. - Yeah, for sure. 898 00:38:24,323 --> 00:38:25,236 OK, cool. OK. 899 00:38:25,367 --> 00:38:26,237 [laughs] 900 00:38:26,368 --> 00:38:27,804 See you then. 901 00:38:27,935 --> 00:38:29,023 I can't believe it. 902 00:38:29,153 --> 00:38:30,024 Diane. 903 00:38:30,154 --> 00:38:31,155 This is awesome. 904 00:38:31,286 --> 00:38:33,332 Yeah, it's good. 905 00:38:33,462 --> 00:38:35,508 Cool. 906 00:38:35,638 --> 00:38:37,379 Dude, I saw what you were doing back there, 907 00:38:37,510 --> 00:38:39,468 but I'm actually awesome at maps. 908 00:38:39,599 --> 00:38:42,166 The thing you got to do is follow the roads. 909 00:38:42,297 --> 00:38:43,167 That's a good trick. 910 00:38:43,298 --> 00:38:44,430 I know. 911 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:45,996 I hate you. 912 00:38:46,127 --> 00:38:47,650 You're going to tell me who's a good mother, huh? 913 00:38:47,781 --> 00:38:49,478 You think you know everything about kids? 914 00:38:49,609 --> 00:38:51,828 Where did you get your fricking law degree, 915 00:38:51,959 --> 00:38:53,482 from the Toilet University? 916 00:38:53,613 --> 00:38:54,875 [SCREAMING] Nothing. 917 00:38:55,005 --> 00:38:55,876 Nothing. 918 00:38:56,006 --> 00:38:57,268 Nothing. 919 00:38:57,399 --> 00:38:59,706 You don't know anything about kids. 920 00:38:59,836 --> 00:39:01,142 You think you're Barney? 921 00:39:01,272 --> 00:39:02,926 No, you're not even Mr. Rogers. 922 00:39:03,057 --> 00:39:05,059 You're just a dumb, old bitch. 923 00:39:05,189 --> 00:39:07,235 Linda, look at me. 924 00:39:07,366 --> 00:39:09,019 Fuck you. 925 00:39:09,150 --> 00:39:11,413 [music playing] 926 00:39:15,199 --> 00:39:20,857 So um, that was pretty fucking wild back there, huh? 927 00:39:20,988 --> 00:39:23,033 What was that about? 928 00:39:23,164 --> 00:39:25,079 I know, I'm really sorry. 929 00:39:25,209 --> 00:39:27,255 I guess I should explain. 930 00:39:27,386 --> 00:39:31,041 So that judge, that little bitch, decided to ruin my life, 931 00:39:31,172 --> 00:39:33,261 like, out of nowhere. 932 00:39:33,392 --> 00:39:35,742 And she wouldn't even reconsider her insane ruling today. 933 00:39:35,872 --> 00:39:37,439 That's what I was doing there. 934 00:39:37,570 --> 00:39:39,702 Because of her, I'm not allowed to see my son anymore. 935 00:39:39,833 --> 00:39:40,747 What? 936 00:39:40,877 --> 00:39:42,183 Not really. 937 00:39:42,313 --> 00:39:43,619 You know, I'm not even exactly sure why. 938 00:39:43,750 --> 00:39:45,752 I used to do this really fun thing with him, where 939 00:39:45,882 --> 00:39:48,319 I would take him to abandon houses 940 00:39:48,450 --> 00:39:50,278 and I'd help him through the window, 941 00:39:50,409 --> 00:39:52,846 and he'd unlock the door for me and then we would sneak in 942 00:39:52,976 --> 00:39:54,238 and we would go exploring. 943 00:39:54,369 --> 00:39:55,283 He loved it. 944 00:39:55,414 --> 00:39:57,024 He really did. - Wow. 945 00:39:57,154 --> 00:39:58,634 Then one day, we went into this house 946 00:39:58,765 --> 00:40:00,636 that I really thought was abandoned because it looked 947 00:40:00,767 --> 00:40:01,637 like such shit, you know? 948 00:40:01,768 --> 00:40:03,073 Really, really bad. 949 00:40:03,204 --> 00:40:05,336 But it turns out that guy was living in there. 950 00:40:05,467 --> 00:40:06,599 Oh. 951 00:40:06,729 --> 00:40:08,035 And they took him away for that? 952 00:40:08,165 --> 00:40:09,340 Basically. 953 00:40:09,471 --> 00:40:10,777 We set off some fireworks, too, but I never 954 00:40:10,907 --> 00:40:12,648 would have done that if I knew that somebody 955 00:40:12,779 --> 00:40:14,041 was living in there, you know? 956 00:40:14,171 --> 00:40:15,608 Like, I'm not that kind of person anymore. 957 00:40:15,738 --> 00:40:17,261 I would never do that. 958 00:40:17,392 --> 00:40:19,742 Plus, my ex, Shawn's dad, made up some really bad shit 959 00:40:19,873 --> 00:40:22,049 about my work situation right now 960 00:40:22,179 --> 00:40:24,704 and the judge took his side, even though I'm his mom. 961 00:40:24,834 --> 00:40:26,401 There's nothing like a mother's love. 962 00:40:26,532 --> 00:40:28,272 He needs you. 963 00:40:28,403 --> 00:40:30,840 I know that was a lot, so I understand 964 00:40:30,971 --> 00:40:33,060 if you guys want to pull over to the side of the highway 965 00:40:33,190 --> 00:40:34,148 and dump me off. 966 00:40:34,278 --> 00:40:35,149 No. 967 00:40:35,279 --> 00:40:36,846 What? 968 00:40:36,977 --> 00:40:38,718 I know it's hard, but I appreciate your understanding. 969 00:40:38,848 --> 00:40:39,632 We all-- 970 00:40:39,762 --> 00:40:40,720 [tires screeching] 971 00:40:41,764 --> 00:40:42,852 No. 972 00:40:44,245 --> 00:40:45,899 I love the way you handled yourself back then. 973 00:40:46,029 --> 00:40:48,858 My family would never fight for me like that. 974 00:40:48,989 --> 00:40:51,078 I remember when I was a little kid, 975 00:40:51,208 --> 00:40:52,949 one time I was wrongfully accused 976 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,648 of stealing six bags of Reese's Pieces from the J & F Market. 977 00:40:55,778 --> 00:40:57,388 My mom didn't take my side. 978 00:40:57,519 --> 00:40:59,260 She made me give back all the candy to the old ladies that 979 00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:00,914 saw me take it. 980 00:41:01,044 --> 00:41:02,742 I wish I had a mom that would destroy a Plymouth for me. 981 00:41:02,872 --> 00:41:03,743 Really? 982 00:41:03,873 --> 00:41:04,787 Dude. 983 00:41:04,918 --> 00:41:06,223 Yeah. 984 00:41:06,354 --> 00:41:07,311 Thanks, guys. 985 00:41:07,442 --> 00:41:11,054 You're really special. 986 00:41:11,185 --> 00:41:15,972 I guess my only thing is that you did assault that concierge 987 00:41:16,103 --> 00:41:17,844 that pulled you off of the judge's car, 988 00:41:17,974 --> 00:41:22,109 so I'm fairly certain that the police are looking for us. 989 00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,720 OK, so they're probably looking for this car. 990 00:41:24,851 --> 00:41:26,505 We dump it and steal a new one. 991 00:41:26,635 --> 00:41:28,202 Easy. - That's perfect. 992 00:41:28,332 --> 00:41:30,117 Then we add grand theft auto to the charges. 993 00:41:36,950 --> 00:41:40,040 Wait, I think I got it. 994 00:41:40,170 --> 00:41:41,824 I hate doing the ceiling. 995 00:41:41,955 --> 00:41:44,784 I mean, every painter knows, like, doing a ceiling, 996 00:41:44,914 --> 00:41:47,569 painting the ceiling, like when it drips-- 997 00:41:47,700 --> 00:41:49,223 It drips in your mouth and you get sick. 998 00:41:49,353 --> 00:41:50,224 Yeah. 999 00:41:50,354 --> 00:41:51,878 That's the worst. 1000 00:41:52,008 --> 00:41:53,836 That's probably-- that's got to be my least favorite. 1001 00:41:53,967 --> 00:41:56,317 I think every paint-- if you're a painter, you know. 1002 00:41:56,447 --> 00:41:57,971 You hate doing the ceiling. 1003 00:41:58,101 --> 00:41:59,973 Then you got that you got to take a week off 1004 00:42:00,103 --> 00:42:01,540 and you're bedridden. - Yeah. 1005 00:42:01,670 --> 00:42:02,976 And then you're staring at the ceiling. 1006 00:42:03,106 --> 00:42:04,978 You're looking at the ceiling that made you sick. 1007 00:42:05,108 --> 00:42:05,892 - That's a great sort of irony. - Whoa. 1008 00:42:06,022 --> 00:42:06,893 Whoa. Whoa. 1009 00:42:07,023 --> 00:42:08,198 Whoa. 1010 00:42:08,329 --> 00:42:09,112 What the fuck are you guys doing, huh? 1011 00:42:09,852 --> 00:42:10,940 What are you doing? 1012 00:42:11,071 --> 00:42:12,420 Well, we were painting the garage. 1013 00:42:12,551 --> 00:42:14,248 Yeah, no shit you're painting the garage. 1014 00:42:14,378 --> 00:42:17,120 You're painting my garage, and I don't want my garage painted. 1015 00:42:17,251 --> 00:42:18,165 Wait. 1016 00:42:18,295 --> 00:42:19,775 Wait. 1017 00:42:19,906 --> 00:42:21,385 When we were talking on the phone, 1018 00:42:21,516 --> 00:42:23,257 you were like, paint the garage. 1019 00:42:23,387 --> 00:42:24,650 And you weren't as mad. 1020 00:42:24,780 --> 00:42:25,694 No. 1021 00:42:25,825 --> 00:42:27,522 What's the address? 1022 00:42:27,653 --> 00:42:29,829 767 Maple-- 1023 00:42:29,959 --> 00:42:30,743 Maple Avenue. Yeah. 1024 00:42:30,873 --> 00:42:32,440 Yeah. 1025 00:42:32,571 --> 00:42:34,050 It's yummy, like the syrup. - It's yummy like the syrup. 1026 00:42:34,181 --> 00:42:35,312 That's how we remember it. - That's how we remember it. 1027 00:42:35,443 --> 00:42:36,400 Yeah. 1028 00:42:36,531 --> 00:42:38,881 This is Maple Lane, dickheads. 1029 00:42:39,012 --> 00:42:41,362 Oh, fuck. 1030 00:42:41,492 --> 00:42:42,798 - Shit. - Shit. 1031 00:42:42,929 --> 00:42:44,539 Yeah, you fucked up big time. 1032 00:42:44,670 --> 00:42:45,540 You sure? 1033 00:42:45,671 --> 00:42:46,585 Am I sure? 1034 00:42:46,715 --> 00:42:47,847 It's my fucking house. 1035 00:42:47,977 --> 00:42:49,326 Get the fuck out of here. Go. 1036 00:42:49,457 --> 00:42:50,719 - Shit. - This has happened before. 1037 00:42:50,850 --> 00:42:51,764 Yeah, this-- 1038 00:42:51,894 --> 00:42:52,808 We're sorry about that. 1039 00:42:52,939 --> 00:42:53,722 - Sorry. - No. 1040 00:42:53,853 --> 00:42:54,767 No. No. 1041 00:42:54,897 --> 00:42:55,724 No. Put that down. 1042 00:42:55,855 --> 00:42:56,943 You don't take your stuff. 1043 00:42:58,509 --> 00:42:59,685 You get your stuff when you come back with white paint 1044 00:42:59,815 --> 00:43:01,077 and you paint my garage white, the way 1045 00:43:01,208 --> 00:43:03,384 it was, the way my beautiful wife designed it. 1046 00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:04,690 - Sorry about that. - Sorry. 1047 00:43:04,820 --> 00:43:06,561 Sorry. Sorry to you and your wife. 1048 00:43:06,692 --> 00:43:07,867 Don't apologize, she's gorgeous. 1049 00:43:07,997 --> 00:43:09,042 She's an acclaimed Pilates instructor. 1050 00:43:09,172 --> 00:43:10,130 Oh. 1051 00:43:10,260 --> 00:43:11,392 Yeah, it's fucking cool. 1052 00:43:11,522 --> 00:43:12,523 Now leave. 1053 00:43:16,397 --> 00:43:18,312 [music playing] 1054 00:43:25,667 --> 00:43:27,364 We got the crew. 1055 00:43:27,495 --> 00:43:29,279 Who's ready to become the most awesome version of themselves 1056 00:43:29,410 --> 00:43:30,324 possible? 1057 00:43:30,454 --> 00:43:32,065 Me. 1058 00:43:32,195 --> 00:43:34,371 Yeah, we might be looking at a couple of scrubs right now, 1059 00:43:34,502 --> 00:43:36,635 but when we get to William's, uh-- 1060 00:43:36,765 --> 00:43:39,289 William, William, tell Diane about this place, man. 1061 00:43:39,420 --> 00:43:41,117 Uh, well, it's big. 1062 00:43:41,248 --> 00:43:41,988 It's on a lake. 1063 00:43:42,118 --> 00:43:44,294 I own it. 1064 00:43:44,425 --> 00:43:46,645 It might just be the chrysalis from which 1065 00:43:46,775 --> 00:43:50,474 we emerge our true selves, a little slice of paradise. 1066 00:43:50,605 --> 00:43:51,606 [laughs] 1067 00:43:51,737 --> 00:43:53,042 Paradise. 1068 00:43:53,173 --> 00:43:55,044 Fuck yeah. [CHANTING] William's paradise. 1069 00:43:55,175 --> 00:43:56,524 William's paradise. 1070 00:43:56,655 --> 00:43:57,612 William's paradise. 1071 00:43:57,743 --> 00:43:59,135 [music playing] 1072 00:43:59,266 --> 00:44:04,227 [SINGING] And now the sun is shining all day long. 1073 00:44:04,358 --> 00:44:07,970 There'll be no more clouds in the sky, 1074 00:44:08,101 --> 00:44:11,321 just the sun for you and I. 1075 00:44:12,496 --> 00:44:17,153 Sunshine. 1076 00:44:20,243 --> 00:44:27,555 There's only sunshine waiting for you and me. 1077 00:44:27,686 --> 00:44:34,127 It's all the happiness we dreamed that it would bring. 1078 00:44:34,257 --> 00:44:37,870 There'll be no more clouds in the sky. 1079 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:42,004 No more wondering why. 1080 00:44:42,135 --> 00:44:46,922 Sunshine. 1081 00:44:58,629 --> 00:45:00,240 What's going on? 1082 00:45:00,370 --> 00:45:05,027 Oh, just had to help an injured moose across the road. 1083 00:45:05,158 --> 00:45:05,985 Where are we? 1084 00:45:06,115 --> 00:45:07,726 Why are you dressed like that? 1085 00:45:07,856 --> 00:45:09,771 Well, we were all going pretty stir-crazy in the car. 1086 00:45:09,902 --> 00:45:12,948 We figured, fuck it, let's stop and get some new threads. 1087 00:45:13,079 --> 00:45:15,690 Went to a little camping store, got decked out. 1088 00:45:15,821 --> 00:45:16,735 Don't worry. 1089 00:45:16,865 --> 00:45:17,997 We got something for you, too. 1090 00:45:18,127 --> 00:45:19,433 What? 1091 00:45:19,563 --> 00:45:21,914 You wanted to drive through the whole night? 1092 00:45:22,044 --> 00:45:23,176 Yeah. 1093 00:45:23,306 --> 00:45:24,394 That's crazy. 1094 00:45:24,525 --> 00:45:26,135 We need a little break. 1095 00:45:26,266 --> 00:45:28,355 We deserve to kind of chill out, maybe have some dinner. 1096 00:45:28,485 --> 00:45:29,748 Huh? 1097 00:45:29,878 --> 00:45:31,271 We stopped at a grocery store, and guess what? 1098 00:45:31,401 --> 00:45:34,665 We're going to have a little barbecue, camping style. 1099 00:45:34,796 --> 00:45:37,407 Our friend Diane here called ahead, got us a great plot. 1100 00:45:37,538 --> 00:45:39,192 She's a hell of a negotiator, this one. 1101 00:45:39,322 --> 00:45:40,933 Why didn't you wake me up? 1102 00:45:41,063 --> 00:45:42,151 Well, come on, dude. 1103 00:45:42,282 --> 00:45:43,109 You were out cold. 1104 00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:44,937 We tried. 1105 00:45:45,067 --> 00:45:48,201 I don't want to go camping. 1106 00:45:48,331 --> 00:45:52,858 So basically, I think if my dream were to come true, 1107 00:45:52,988 --> 00:45:56,949 it would be to finally guess the amount of jelly beans in the jar 1108 00:45:57,079 --> 00:45:59,168 at my mall. - That would be fucking awesome. 1109 00:45:59,299 --> 00:46:00,691 That's a great fucking answer, dude. 1110 00:46:00,822 --> 00:46:02,302 - Thanks, man. - Hell, yeah. 1111 00:46:02,432 --> 00:46:03,564 How about you, Diane? 1112 00:46:03,694 --> 00:46:05,435 Wildest dreams. 1113 00:46:05,566 --> 00:46:08,482 Wildest dream. 1114 00:46:08,612 --> 00:46:09,788 I would want to get a parrot. 1115 00:46:13,313 --> 00:46:15,010 OK. 1116 00:46:15,141 --> 00:46:16,316 That's nice, but come on. 1117 00:46:16,446 --> 00:46:17,317 Think bigger than parrot. 1118 00:46:17,447 --> 00:46:19,058 We can get you a parrot. 1119 00:46:19,188 --> 00:46:22,148 Anything in the world, what do you want your life to look like? 1120 00:46:22,278 --> 00:46:23,366 OK. 1121 00:46:23,497 --> 00:46:25,020 I've never told anyone this before, 1122 00:46:25,151 --> 00:46:30,721 but um, I would want to be an actress in TV commercials. 1123 00:46:30,852 --> 00:46:35,204 You know, like I want to be one of those women by the shower, 1124 00:46:35,335 --> 00:46:37,206 and they're spritzing it, and they go, just 1125 00:46:37,337 --> 00:46:39,382 look at that shine. 1126 00:46:39,513 --> 00:46:40,949 Like that. - Wow. 1127 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:42,342 But I could never. I could never. 1128 00:46:42,472 --> 00:46:43,647 Nobody would want me to do that. 1129 00:46:43,778 --> 00:46:44,605 What do you mean you could never? 1130 00:46:44,735 --> 00:46:46,389 You just did. 1131 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,436 Yeah, I would buy $1,000 worth of cleaning supplies off that 1132 00:46:49,566 --> 00:46:51,177 pitch alone. 1133 00:46:51,307 --> 00:46:52,482 You're a natural. [laughs] 1134 00:46:52,613 --> 00:46:53,701 For real. 1135 00:46:53,832 --> 00:46:55,355 And if you're this good now, just 1136 00:46:55,485 --> 00:46:57,226 imagine what it's going to be like when we transcend. 1137 00:46:57,357 --> 00:46:59,620 What does transcend mean? 1138 00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:00,751 I meant-- 1139 00:47:00,882 --> 00:47:01,796 I didn't say it. 1140 00:47:01,927 --> 00:47:03,493 I said tan skin. 1141 00:47:03,624 --> 00:47:07,019 When we tan skin at William's paradise, 1142 00:47:07,149 --> 00:47:08,237 there's going to be so much-- 1143 00:47:08,368 --> 00:47:09,978 by the lake, so much sun. 1144 00:47:10,109 --> 00:47:12,024 And everybody likes a tan actor, right? 1145 00:47:12,154 --> 00:47:13,242 - Yeah. - Hey, Diane? 1146 00:47:13,373 --> 00:47:15,070 Diane? 1147 00:47:15,201 --> 00:47:16,202 Would you mind going to get us some sodas from the vending 1148 00:47:16,332 --> 00:47:17,681 machine? - Totally. 1149 00:47:17,812 --> 00:47:18,726 Yeah. 1150 00:47:18,857 --> 00:47:20,597 I hope they have grape. 1151 00:47:20,728 --> 00:47:21,860 Diet grape for me. 1152 00:47:24,993 --> 00:47:27,474 You like the tan skin, right, dude? 1153 00:47:27,604 --> 00:47:28,518 I've never been able to. 1154 00:47:28,649 --> 00:47:29,650 My skin is like paper. 1155 00:47:36,483 --> 00:47:40,095 They should put beer in those, don't you think? 1156 00:47:40,226 --> 00:47:42,489 Yeah, I guess so. 1157 00:47:42,619 --> 00:47:44,447 I ain't never seen you stay here before. 1158 00:47:44,578 --> 00:47:48,190 I know because I'm always here. 1159 00:47:48,321 --> 00:47:50,845 That's mine. 1160 00:47:50,976 --> 00:47:54,849 You ever been in one of them before? 1161 00:47:54,980 --> 00:47:58,853 Man, it's like a big car with a bed. 1162 00:48:01,725 --> 00:48:02,901 I didn't catch your name. 1163 00:48:03,031 --> 00:48:05,251 It's Gertrude. 1164 00:48:05,381 --> 00:48:08,602 Gertrude, I'm going to stop beating around the bush. 1165 00:48:08,732 --> 00:48:12,432 I ain't seen something as pretty as you in a long, long time. 1166 00:48:12,562 --> 00:48:16,001 And even though you got the name of a real old lady, 1167 00:48:16,131 --> 00:48:20,309 I'd like to invite you onto my house and have sex with me. 1168 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:24,357 My wife is taking care of her sister this week. 1169 00:48:27,708 --> 00:48:29,362 No, thank you. 1170 00:48:29,492 --> 00:48:31,451 Bye. 1171 00:48:31,581 --> 00:48:32,539 Door's always open. 1172 00:48:35,846 --> 00:48:37,152 Thank you. 1173 00:48:37,283 --> 00:48:38,153 Thanks. 1174 00:48:38,284 --> 00:48:42,810 And you, William. 1175 00:48:42,941 --> 00:48:47,597 Just in time, a little soda to wash down these dogs. 1176 00:48:47,728 --> 00:48:49,338 Hey, Tyler, you got to double it up. 1177 00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:51,079 What are you doing with a single dog? 1178 00:48:51,210 --> 00:48:52,689 I don't even know. 1179 00:48:52,820 --> 00:48:54,039 You're embarrassing yourself. 1180 00:48:54,169 --> 00:48:56,128 Yeah. 1181 00:48:56,258 --> 00:48:58,130 What's the most hot dogs you ever had in a day? 1182 00:49:03,439 --> 00:49:04,397 Hey, look who it is. 1183 00:49:04,527 --> 00:49:05,746 Yo. You. 1184 00:49:05,876 --> 00:49:06,877 What's up, dude? 1185 00:49:07,008 --> 00:49:08,183 What is this? 1186 00:49:08,314 --> 00:49:09,924 Somebody want to tell me what's happening? 1187 00:49:10,055 --> 00:49:11,447 Who is this? 1188 00:49:11,578 --> 00:49:13,362 I'm Jim Smith. 1189 00:49:13,493 --> 00:49:16,148 I'm part of the family. 1190 00:49:16,278 --> 00:49:18,628 OK it's time we come clean. 1191 00:49:18,759 --> 00:49:22,415 Earlier, we weren't stopping to help a moose across the road. 1192 00:49:22,545 --> 00:49:24,504 We were picking up Jim Smith. 1193 00:49:24,634 --> 00:49:27,420 The family grows stronger with another member. 1194 00:49:27,550 --> 00:49:29,813 And listen, I know what you're going to say. 1195 00:49:29,944 --> 00:49:30,814 We vetted him. 1196 00:49:30,945 --> 00:49:31,815 Don't worry. 1197 00:49:31,946 --> 00:49:33,426 It's all good. 1198 00:49:33,556 --> 00:49:36,777 William's paradise sounds like a dream come true. 1199 00:49:39,954 --> 00:49:42,565 Chip? 1200 00:49:42,696 --> 00:49:43,827 Chip? 1201 00:49:43,958 --> 00:49:44,828 What? 1202 00:49:44,959 --> 00:49:46,526 Let's talk. 1203 00:49:46,656 --> 00:49:47,570 I'm doing hot dogs. 1204 00:49:47,701 --> 00:49:48,658 Now. 1205 00:49:50,617 --> 00:49:52,532 Jimmy, why don't you take over for me, buddy? 1206 00:50:01,976 --> 00:50:03,021 You like hot dogs? 1207 00:50:07,677 --> 00:50:10,463 This is not working. 1208 00:50:10,593 --> 00:50:12,204 What are you talking about? 1209 00:50:12,334 --> 00:50:13,509 I gave you a chance. 1210 00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:14,989 I gave you the keys. 1211 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,165 And I'm doing a fucking great job. 1212 00:50:17,296 --> 00:50:19,124 You're doing the opposite of a great job. 1213 00:50:19,254 --> 00:50:22,605 You're doing everything I said we should not be doing. 1214 00:50:22,736 --> 00:50:24,346 You're building too fast. 1215 00:50:24,477 --> 00:50:26,218 You're telling them about transcending before they even 1216 00:50:26,348 --> 00:50:27,654 know the teachings. 1217 00:50:27,784 --> 00:50:29,395 You're spending all our money on camping gear. 1218 00:50:29,525 --> 00:50:31,832 You picked up a hitchhiker, who may well be a murderer. 1219 00:50:31,962 --> 00:50:32,833 Jim Smith's cool. 1220 00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:34,095 You're overreacting. 1221 00:50:34,226 --> 00:50:35,662 I really don't think I am. 1222 00:50:35,792 --> 00:50:37,490 And you're not going to like this, 1223 00:50:37,620 --> 00:50:39,492 but I've made a decision to demote you 1224 00:50:39,622 --> 00:50:42,060 from the position of co-leader of this family. 1225 00:50:42,190 --> 00:50:43,061 You can't demote me. 1226 00:50:43,191 --> 00:50:44,975 No, we're co-leaders. 1227 00:50:45,106 --> 00:50:46,629 You don't make that decision by yourself. 1228 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,283 I already have. 1229 00:50:48,414 --> 00:50:50,590 No, fuck that, because you forgot our arrangement. 1230 00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,288 Either we do this together as co-leaders or I take you 1231 00:50:53,419 --> 00:50:54,724 to the cops. - Oh, interesting. 1232 00:50:54,855 --> 00:50:56,509 OK, yeah. 1233 00:50:56,639 --> 00:50:58,685 Call the police and they'll come and they'll haul me away. 1234 00:50:58,815 --> 00:51:00,382 And then what do you think's going 1235 00:51:00,513 --> 00:51:03,081 to happen with all those people when you have nowhere 1236 00:51:03,211 --> 00:51:04,734 to take them? 1237 00:51:04,865 --> 00:51:06,606 They're going to leave and you're going to be alone. 1238 00:51:06,736 --> 00:51:09,348 This is fucked up, dude. 1239 00:51:09,478 --> 00:51:12,090 Hey, it's only temporary. 1240 00:51:12,220 --> 00:51:14,353 We can reassess once we get to the lake house. 1241 00:51:14,483 --> 00:51:15,484 How about that? 1242 00:51:15,615 --> 00:51:17,312 I mean, maybe there was one or two 1243 00:51:17,443 --> 00:51:18,922 things I could have run by you, but this is fucking extreme, 1244 00:51:19,053 --> 00:51:20,402 dude. 1245 00:51:20,533 --> 00:51:24,754 Look, one day, when we've transcended together, 1246 00:51:24,885 --> 00:51:25,799 you'll understand. 1247 00:51:46,254 --> 00:51:49,039 This is a song I used to know in another lifetime, 1248 00:51:49,170 --> 00:51:50,824 so I apologize if I'm a little rusty. 1249 00:51:56,090 --> 00:51:57,526 [playing guitar] 1250 00:51:58,832 --> 00:52:00,355 [SINGING] They woke up in the dark. 1251 00:52:05,926 --> 00:52:09,103 They learned to walk in the dark. 1252 00:52:15,936 --> 00:52:24,379 They sang their songs in the dark. 1253 00:52:24,510 --> 00:52:26,076 They didn't know the sun. 1254 00:52:31,734 --> 00:52:33,954 She wandered from the path they laid. 1255 00:52:40,743 --> 00:52:42,484 Said, don't go, you'll be afraid. 1256 00:52:48,969 --> 00:52:49,970 I smile. 1257 00:52:54,017 --> 00:52:57,586 Turn my eyes toward the sun. 1258 00:53:01,503 --> 00:53:04,854 [humming] 1259 00:53:31,359 --> 00:53:34,232 [upbeat music playing] 1260 00:53:34,362 --> 00:53:36,146 That's crazy. 1261 00:53:36,277 --> 00:53:38,018 You go forever and ever and ever. 1262 00:53:38,148 --> 00:53:40,194 No. 1263 00:53:40,325 --> 00:53:41,369 You're cheating. 1264 00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:42,414 Traitor. 1265 00:53:46,418 --> 00:53:47,767 Good morning, family. 1266 00:53:47,897 --> 00:53:50,770 Good morning, William. 1267 00:53:50,900 --> 00:53:52,075 Got you a cup of coffee. 1268 00:53:52,206 --> 00:53:53,816 I thought you might like some of that. 1269 00:53:53,947 --> 00:53:55,340 Oh, thank you, Tyler. 1270 00:53:55,470 --> 00:53:57,037 You're welcome. 1271 00:53:57,167 --> 00:53:58,125 Thank you. 1272 00:53:58,256 --> 00:54:00,127 I slept like a baby last night. 1273 00:54:00,258 --> 00:54:01,911 Oh, that's great to hear. 1274 00:54:02,042 --> 00:54:02,912 Diane, good morning. 1275 00:54:03,043 --> 00:54:05,088 Good morning, William. 1276 00:54:05,219 --> 00:54:07,439 Uh-oh, you have a little leaf in your hair. 1277 00:54:07,569 --> 00:54:08,483 Uh-oh. 1278 00:54:08,614 --> 00:54:09,615 Oh, no. 1279 00:54:09,745 --> 00:54:10,964 God, it's so soft. 1280 00:54:11,094 --> 00:54:12,052 It's like feathers. 1281 00:54:12,182 --> 00:54:13,053 Thank you. 1282 00:54:13,183 --> 00:54:15,664 Good morning. 1283 00:54:15,795 --> 00:54:18,972 I got to say, you three are brimming with potential today. 1284 00:54:19,102 --> 00:54:20,887 Oh my God, thank you. 1285 00:54:21,017 --> 00:54:23,106 I mean it. 1286 00:54:23,237 --> 00:54:27,633 Ah, Chip, you decided to join us. 1287 00:54:27,763 --> 00:54:29,374 Yeah. 1288 00:54:29,504 --> 00:54:31,985 You missed a really wonderful discussion last night. 1289 00:54:32,115 --> 00:54:34,292 Basically, we are all worms. 1290 00:54:34,422 --> 00:54:36,032 Yeah, I know that one. 1291 00:54:39,601 --> 00:54:42,038 All right, gang, I'm going to hit the showers. 1292 00:54:42,169 --> 00:54:44,127 Chip, why don't you go ahead and start breaking down 1293 00:54:44,258 --> 00:54:45,477 the tents for us, OK? 1294 00:54:58,533 --> 00:55:01,884 Hey, Chip, dude, is everything OK, man? 1295 00:55:02,015 --> 00:55:03,886 Yeah, dude, everything's fucking awesome. 1296 00:55:04,017 --> 00:55:05,235 Good. 1297 00:55:05,366 --> 00:55:06,846 It's just you seem-- you seem kind of down. 1298 00:55:06,976 --> 00:55:08,761 What? 1299 00:55:08,891 --> 00:55:10,197 Nah, dude, I was up all night thinking about all the chicks 1300 00:55:10,328 --> 00:55:11,241 I slammed, actually. 1301 00:55:11,372 --> 00:55:12,852 Oh my God, that's excellent. 1302 00:55:12,982 --> 00:55:13,809 It was fucking sick. 1303 00:55:13,940 --> 00:55:15,115 That's so sick. 1304 00:55:15,245 --> 00:55:17,030 It's just I'm pretty sure I saw you 1305 00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:18,684 crying last night at the fire. 1306 00:55:18,814 --> 00:55:20,033 What the fuck, dude? 1307 00:55:20,163 --> 00:55:21,164 Don't you ever fucking lie about me again. 1308 00:55:21,295 --> 00:55:22,122 - Sorry. - I don't cry, dude. 1309 00:55:22,252 --> 00:55:23,428 OK. 1310 00:55:23,558 --> 00:55:25,081 If you saw anything-- and you didn't-- 1311 00:55:25,212 --> 00:55:27,736 probably what you saw was me being sad because William's 1312 00:55:27,867 --> 00:55:29,434 song sucked so much dick. 1313 00:55:29,564 --> 00:55:31,087 I thought the song was awesome. 1314 00:55:31,218 --> 00:55:32,567 It rocked. 1315 00:55:32,698 --> 00:55:34,264 Yeah, dude, you would think some shit like that. 1316 00:55:34,395 --> 00:55:36,049 You're fucking weak-minded. 1317 00:55:36,179 --> 00:55:39,052 I just want to let you, man, like, if you're hurting, 1318 00:55:39,182 --> 00:55:40,488 trust me, I've been hurt before. 1319 00:55:40,619 --> 00:55:43,186 I've been hurt in ways that are illegal. 1320 00:55:43,317 --> 00:55:46,712 But if you are feeling bad, just let me know, man. 1321 00:55:46,842 --> 00:55:47,756 I'm here for you. 1322 00:55:47,887 --> 00:55:48,931 We're family now. 1323 00:55:49,062 --> 00:55:50,368 Dude, I don't need shit like that. 1324 00:55:50,498 --> 00:55:52,152 I'm at the top of this thing. 1325 00:55:52,282 --> 00:55:54,241 I've been here longer than you. You don't help me with stuff. 1326 00:55:54,372 --> 00:55:55,242 I help you with stuff. - OK. 1327 00:55:55,373 --> 00:55:56,635 OK. I'm sorry. 1328 00:55:56,765 --> 00:55:58,376 I've stepped over a boundary, and I apologize. 1329 00:55:58,506 --> 00:55:59,638 - Yeah, you did. - I'm very sorry. 1330 00:55:59,768 --> 00:56:00,508 I'm sorry. - You fucked up, dude. 1331 00:56:00,639 --> 00:56:02,336 - OK. - Beat it. 1332 00:56:02,467 --> 00:56:03,468 - I'm sorry for bothering you. - Dude, you're slowing me down. 1333 00:56:03,598 --> 00:56:05,034 - I'm sorry. - I have an important job. 1334 00:56:05,165 --> 00:56:06,296 Were you assigned a job? 1335 00:56:06,427 --> 00:56:07,602 I don't know. 1336 00:56:07,733 --> 00:56:09,212 No, because you're not trustworthy enough. 1337 00:56:09,343 --> 00:56:10,344 I'm sorry, dude. 1338 00:56:19,832 --> 00:56:21,703 [whistling] 1339 00:56:23,879 --> 00:56:25,490 All yours, ginger dick. 1340 00:56:25,620 --> 00:56:27,187 Thanks. 1341 00:56:27,317 --> 00:56:28,623 Holy shit. 1342 00:56:28,754 --> 00:56:30,930 Holy fucking shit. 1343 00:56:31,060 --> 00:56:32,888 Three Balls Billy. 1344 00:56:33,019 --> 00:56:34,499 How's that third nut, Billy? 1345 00:56:34,629 --> 00:56:36,239 You must be thinking of somebody else. 1346 00:56:36,370 --> 00:56:37,589 Oh, bullshit. 1347 00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:38,546 It's me. 1348 00:56:38,677 --> 00:56:39,591 It's Robbie. 1349 00:56:39,721 --> 00:56:40,505 Come on, man. 1350 00:56:40,635 --> 00:56:42,071 How you been? 1351 00:56:42,202 --> 00:56:43,856 You still hanging out with all those busted theater 1352 00:56:43,986 --> 00:56:46,554 girls who follow you around, call you a wizard? 1353 00:56:46,685 --> 00:56:47,773 Different guy. 1354 00:56:47,903 --> 00:56:49,383 Come on. Robbie. 1355 00:56:49,514 --> 00:56:50,863 You're right. 1356 00:56:50,993 --> 00:56:54,170 I shit in your history book and smushed it shut. 1357 00:56:54,301 --> 00:56:55,520 You've mistaken me for someone else. 1358 00:56:55,650 --> 00:56:56,564 No. No. 1359 00:56:56,695 --> 00:56:57,478 No. No. 1360 00:56:57,609 --> 00:56:58,697 I'm pretty sure it's you. 1361 00:57:00,046 --> 00:57:01,264 Matter of fact, I was just thinking about you. 1362 00:57:01,395 --> 00:57:02,875 Saw a picture of a fucking guy on the news. 1363 00:57:03,005 --> 00:57:04,790 Thought it was you, but wasn't sure. 1364 00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:06,313 Had a lady's haircut. 1365 00:57:06,444 --> 00:57:09,098 But seeing you here in person, I think it was you. 1366 00:57:09,229 --> 00:57:11,492 What's going on, man? 1367 00:57:11,623 --> 00:57:12,798 That wasn't me. 1368 00:57:12,928 --> 00:57:13,842 Oh. 1369 00:57:13,973 --> 00:57:14,887 [laughs] 1370 00:57:15,017 --> 00:57:15,888 All right. 1371 00:57:16,018 --> 00:57:17,672 I get it. 1372 00:57:17,803 --> 00:57:21,589 Hey, I'd do the same thing, too, if they were looking for me. 1373 00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,200 Well, good seeing you, Bill. 1374 00:57:31,469 --> 00:57:34,341 [music playing] 1375 00:57:34,472 --> 00:57:36,082 OK, everybody, it's time to go. 1376 00:57:36,212 --> 00:57:37,475 Time to go. 1377 00:57:37,605 --> 00:57:38,867 Let's get in the car. 1378 00:57:38,998 --> 00:57:40,129 Let's leave everything. 1379 00:57:40,260 --> 00:57:41,870 Trust me. 1380 00:57:42,001 --> 00:57:44,351 Tyler, I would love to invite you to drive for us today. 1381 00:57:44,482 --> 00:57:45,352 Are you serious? 1382 00:57:45,483 --> 00:57:47,049 I am. 1383 00:57:47,180 --> 00:57:49,748 And Diane, our navigator, we couldn't do it without you. 1384 00:57:49,878 --> 00:57:51,184 Please resume your position. 1385 00:57:51,314 --> 00:57:52,402 [laughs] 1386 00:57:52,533 --> 00:57:53,316 OK. 1387 00:57:53,447 --> 00:57:54,317 Leave everything. 1388 00:57:54,448 --> 00:57:56,450 Let's go into the car. 1389 00:57:56,581 --> 00:57:58,408 We won't need tents where we're going. 1390 00:58:08,810 --> 00:58:13,249 And we'll all have our own bedrooms overlooking the lake. 1391 00:58:13,380 --> 00:58:16,731 I think it's going to be a perfect place for us to become 1392 00:58:16,862 --> 00:58:18,124 who we were always meant to be. 1393 00:58:39,711 --> 00:58:42,148 [radio playing] 1394 00:58:46,587 --> 00:58:48,937 Hello? 1395 00:58:49,068 --> 00:58:50,199 Aunt Bev? 1396 00:58:50,330 --> 00:58:51,592 It's Billy. 1397 00:58:51,723 --> 00:58:54,595 Sandra, is that you? 1398 00:58:54,726 --> 00:58:57,119 Not too hung over today, party girl. 1399 00:58:57,250 --> 00:58:59,208 But you can hang out if you want. 1400 00:58:59,339 --> 00:59:00,470 You can use the bathroom. 1401 00:59:03,212 --> 00:59:04,170 Aunt Bev, is that you? 1402 00:59:04,300 --> 00:59:05,258 Who is that? 1403 00:59:08,130 --> 00:59:09,567 I'm Billy. 1404 00:59:09,697 --> 00:59:10,611 Is my aunt here? 1405 00:59:17,749 --> 00:59:19,881 Honey, where you been? 1406 00:59:20,012 --> 00:59:21,448 Where have I been? 1407 00:59:21,579 --> 00:59:23,145 I mean, I've been a lot of places. 1408 00:59:23,276 --> 00:59:25,365 Where's my aunt? 1409 00:59:25,495 --> 00:59:27,585 Honey, I'm sorry to have to say this, 1410 00:59:27,715 --> 00:59:31,327 but your Aunt Bev passed about six months ago. 1411 00:59:31,458 --> 00:59:33,503 She was sick for a couple of years. 1412 00:59:36,289 --> 00:59:37,986 I didn't know that. 1413 00:59:38,117 --> 00:59:40,075 She cared for you a whole lot. 1414 00:59:40,206 --> 00:59:41,076 You know that. 1415 00:59:41,207 --> 00:59:42,382 Yeah. 1416 00:59:42,512 --> 00:59:43,775 I mean, she was my favorite aunt. 1417 00:59:43,905 --> 00:59:44,950 She was my only aunt. 1418 00:59:48,518 --> 00:59:53,219 And you didn't think to call in, what, six years? 1419 00:59:53,349 --> 00:59:56,918 Yeah, I should have called. 1420 00:59:57,049 --> 00:59:58,398 Who are you? 1421 00:59:58,528 --> 00:59:59,704 I'm Dorota. 1422 00:59:59,834 --> 01:00:01,662 I did your aunt's hair for years. 1423 01:00:01,793 --> 01:00:02,968 Started getting friendly. 1424 01:00:03,098 --> 01:00:05,274 When she got sick, I helped her out. 1425 01:00:05,405 --> 01:00:07,668 I miss her, I do. 1426 01:00:07,799 --> 01:00:10,192 She was so kind to me. 1427 01:00:10,323 --> 01:00:11,150 She left me this place. 1428 01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,674 She didn't have to do that. 1429 01:00:13,805 --> 01:00:16,546 She always said she was going to leave me the house. 1430 01:00:16,677 --> 01:00:18,853 She wanted to. 1431 01:00:18,984 --> 01:00:20,202 You broke her heart, honey. 1432 01:00:20,333 --> 01:00:21,769 How hard is it to pick up the phone? 1433 01:00:25,468 --> 01:00:28,471 Probably the prettiest place I've ever been in my whole life. 1434 01:00:28,602 --> 01:00:30,648 I knew two boys that drowned in a lake once. 1435 01:00:37,437 --> 01:00:40,614 Sorry, guys, this is not my property. 1436 01:00:40,745 --> 01:00:43,878 It's my aunt's, and she's dead, and she left it 1437 01:00:44,009 --> 01:00:46,576 to her hairdresser instead of me. 1438 01:00:46,707 --> 01:00:49,754 So this whole thing is over. 1439 01:00:49,884 --> 01:00:51,190 Thanks for coming. 1440 01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:52,670 It just wasn't meant to be. 1441 01:00:55,368 --> 01:00:57,762 Wow, that really sucks. 1442 01:01:01,548 --> 01:01:03,898 Chip, what are you doing? 1443 01:01:04,029 --> 01:01:06,161 Chip? 1444 01:01:06,292 --> 01:01:07,423 [knock] 1445 01:01:07,554 --> 01:01:09,295 Hello? 1446 01:01:09,425 --> 01:01:10,339 Ma'am? 1447 01:01:10,470 --> 01:01:13,125 I told you to leave. 1448 01:01:13,255 --> 01:01:14,822 Who are you? 1449 01:01:14,953 --> 01:01:15,823 Oh, hi. 1450 01:01:15,954 --> 01:01:16,824 I'm Chip. 1451 01:01:16,955 --> 01:01:18,478 I'm friends with William. 1452 01:01:18,608 --> 01:01:20,175 I'm not sure how much he told you, 1453 01:01:20,306 --> 01:01:22,656 but our group is really depending on this house. 1454 01:01:22,787 --> 01:01:23,831 Group? 1455 01:01:23,962 --> 01:01:25,572 He didn't say anything about a group. 1456 01:01:25,703 --> 01:01:27,139 That little shit just came in here 1457 01:01:27,269 --> 01:01:28,531 and threatened me with legal. 1458 01:01:28,662 --> 01:01:30,446 Said he was going to kick me out of my house. 1459 01:01:30,577 --> 01:01:31,883 Yeah, no, that sounds like him. 1460 01:01:32,013 --> 01:01:33,885 He could definitely be a dickhead sometimes. 1461 01:01:34,015 --> 01:01:36,104 The thing is, though, me and my friends just really 1462 01:01:36,235 --> 01:01:39,151 don't have anywhere else to go. 1463 01:01:39,281 --> 01:01:41,457 Whoa, sick piñata. 1464 01:01:41,588 --> 01:01:43,721 Is that a beer smoking weed? 1465 01:01:43,851 --> 01:01:45,287 Yeah, I made it myself. 1466 01:01:45,418 --> 01:01:46,245 You 1467 01:01:46,375 --> 01:01:47,812 Keep a really nice home. 1468 01:01:47,942 --> 01:01:49,988 Anyway, it's just we've been on the road 1469 01:01:50,118 --> 01:01:51,685 just trying to get here for days. 1470 01:01:51,816 --> 01:01:53,469 And everyone in the crew is so awesome. 1471 01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:56,908 You have Tyler, who's this tall, strong physical specimen. 1472 01:01:57,038 --> 01:02:00,085 And Diane, she's beautiful and nice and just trying 1473 01:02:00,215 --> 01:02:01,477 to get her son back. 1474 01:02:01,608 --> 01:02:02,914 And then there's Jim Smith, who's 1475 01:02:03,044 --> 01:02:04,742 a foreign man of some kind. 1476 01:02:04,872 --> 01:02:06,395 We'll do whatever it takes to stay here. 1477 01:02:06,526 --> 01:02:07,396 We'll do your laundry. 1478 01:02:07,527 --> 01:02:08,571 We'll cook for you. 1479 01:02:08,702 --> 01:02:09,790 We'll clean. 1480 01:02:09,921 --> 01:02:11,661 We'll secure the premises. 1481 01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:13,751 We just-- we just really need a place to become our best selves. 1482 01:02:13,881 --> 01:02:15,230 I'm sorry, honey. 1483 01:02:15,361 --> 01:02:16,579 I don't think I can house a whole crew of people 1484 01:02:16,710 --> 01:02:18,407 I don't know. 1485 01:02:18,538 --> 01:02:20,018 No, I know. 1486 01:02:20,148 --> 01:02:21,628 You're right. 1487 01:02:21,759 --> 01:02:25,632 It's just I owed it to everybody to give it a shot. 1488 01:02:25,763 --> 01:02:29,288 Thank you for hearing me out. 1489 01:02:29,418 --> 01:02:30,593 It's a shame, too. 1490 01:02:30,724 --> 01:02:33,379 This really is such an awesome place. 1491 01:02:33,509 --> 01:02:36,469 Is that a vintage Dorota "The Destroyer" poster. 1492 01:02:36,599 --> 01:02:38,558 Come on now, you're just trying to butter me up. 1493 01:02:38,688 --> 01:02:39,602 What? 1494 01:02:39,733 --> 01:02:41,648 [music playing] 1495 01:02:48,873 --> 01:02:50,178 No way. 1496 01:02:50,309 --> 01:02:51,963 Are you kidding me right now? 1497 01:02:52,093 --> 01:02:53,181 Come on. 1498 01:02:53,312 --> 01:02:54,617 You know who I am? 1499 01:02:54,748 --> 01:02:55,793 Do I know who you are? 1500 01:02:55,923 --> 01:02:57,142 I remember this exactly. 1501 01:02:57,272 --> 01:02:58,404 May 9th, 1981. 1502 01:02:58,534 --> 01:03:00,275 The Superdome. You got fucked. 1503 01:03:00,406 --> 01:03:02,147 The ref turned his back and Marvelous Mabel 1504 01:03:02,277 --> 01:03:03,278 hit you over the head with a steel chair. 1505 01:03:03,409 --> 01:03:04,584 Pinned you. 1506 01:03:04,714 --> 01:03:05,672 She stole the championship from you. 1507 01:03:05,803 --> 01:03:06,934 You should have been the champ. 1508 01:03:07,065 --> 01:03:07,848 You got fucked. 1509 01:03:07,979 --> 01:03:10,155 God, that thing was rigged. 1510 01:03:10,285 --> 01:03:12,418 I hate to break it to you, kid, they're all rigged. 1511 01:03:12,548 --> 01:03:14,289 You had such cool moves-- 1512 01:03:14,420 --> 01:03:17,466 the Dance of Destruction, Thigh Blaster. 1513 01:03:17,597 --> 01:03:19,120 Come on, are you kidding me? 1514 01:03:19,251 --> 01:03:21,122 That was a long time ago. 1515 01:03:21,253 --> 01:03:22,602 God, you were so electric. What's going on? 1516 01:03:22,732 --> 01:03:24,038 Why are you here? 1517 01:03:24,169 --> 01:03:25,474 You should be headlining main events right now. 1518 01:03:25,605 --> 01:03:27,825 Yeah, that was a lot of fun, but nobody 1519 01:03:27,955 --> 01:03:30,088 wants to watch an old lady parade around next to nothing 1520 01:03:30,218 --> 01:03:32,394 and crush a man's head with her thighs. 1521 01:03:32,525 --> 01:03:34,832 Well, speak for yourself, sister. 1522 01:03:37,443 --> 01:03:39,271 [grunts] 1523 01:03:43,666 --> 01:03:44,711 The hell is he doing? 1524 01:03:48,236 --> 01:03:55,026 Oh my God, that was one of the coolest ways I've ever busted. 1525 01:03:55,156 --> 01:03:58,246 I'm not even close to being done with you yet. 1526 01:03:58,377 --> 01:04:00,727 [music playing] 1527 01:04:37,895 --> 01:04:38,896 Thigh-blast me. 1528 01:04:42,377 --> 01:04:43,683 You like that little piggy? 1529 01:04:43,813 --> 01:04:44,727 Yes. 1530 01:04:44,858 --> 01:04:46,207 - Prove it. - I like. 1531 01:04:46,338 --> 01:04:47,208 I like. 1532 01:04:47,339 --> 01:04:48,253 I like. 1533 01:04:48,383 --> 01:04:49,819 I like. 1534 01:04:49,950 --> 01:04:51,909 [cheering] 1535 01:04:56,783 --> 01:04:58,959 [chatter] 1536 01:04:59,090 --> 01:05:02,832 Holy crap, dude, it's so cool that Chip saved the day. 1537 01:05:06,401 --> 01:05:11,450 Hey, everybody, I have something I'd like to say. 1538 01:05:11,580 --> 01:05:15,410 I've decided to step down from my position as a leader, 1539 01:05:15,541 --> 01:05:19,588 because I think we've all realized something. 1540 01:05:19,719 --> 01:05:21,721 Actually, I want to get this on camera. 1541 01:05:21,851 --> 01:05:23,592 William, what are you talking about, man? 1542 01:05:27,248 --> 01:05:29,816 I'd like to give a toast to Chip. 1543 01:05:29,947 --> 01:05:32,384 He's the one true leader of this group, and he always has been. 1544 01:05:32,514 --> 01:05:33,733 [music playing] - To Chip. 1545 01:05:33,863 --> 01:05:34,734 [cheering] 1546 01:05:34,864 --> 01:05:37,084 Let's go. 1547 01:05:37,215 --> 01:05:38,956 Would you follow Chip anywhere? 1548 01:05:39,086 --> 01:05:40,348 Oh, without hesitation. 1549 01:05:44,265 --> 01:05:46,920 Chip is an awesome leader. 1550 01:05:47,051 --> 01:05:49,140 He got us this beautiful new home. 1551 01:05:49,270 --> 01:05:51,142 He's the smartest man I ever met. 1552 01:05:51,272 --> 01:05:53,144 Who was it that brought you into this group? 1553 01:05:53,274 --> 01:05:56,103 Chip, all the way. 1554 01:05:56,234 --> 01:05:57,975 [laughs] 1555 01:05:58,105 --> 01:05:59,019 There you go, buddy. 1556 01:06:01,804 --> 01:06:02,936 [CHANTING] Chip. Chip. 1557 01:06:03,067 --> 01:06:03,981 Chip. 1558 01:06:04,111 --> 01:06:04,938 Chip. Chip. 1559 01:06:05,069 --> 01:06:06,461 Chip. Chip Chip. 1560 01:06:06,592 --> 01:06:07,462 Chip. Chip. 1561 01:06:07,593 --> 01:06:09,421 [laughs] 1562 01:06:34,402 --> 01:06:38,189 "Dear Chip, this isn't an easy note to write, 1563 01:06:38,319 --> 01:06:41,235 but last night it became clear to me 1564 01:06:41,366 --> 01:06:43,846 that I shouldn't be here anymore. 1565 01:06:43,977 --> 01:06:46,849 I've always feared I never had a real purpose here, 1566 01:06:46,980 --> 01:06:49,287 and now I know for sure. 1567 01:06:49,417 --> 01:06:52,725 I'm certain you will continue to be a powerful leader to everyone 1568 01:06:52,855 --> 01:06:56,120 else, but I know that I'm not worthy to receive 1569 01:06:56,250 --> 01:07:01,516 your leadership, and perhaps I'm not even worthy of this life. 1570 01:07:01,647 --> 01:07:03,649 Goodbye, William. 1571 01:07:13,180 --> 01:07:16,401 Today we lost an important man who was wise. 1572 01:07:16,531 --> 01:07:17,402 He was brilliant. 1573 01:07:17,532 --> 01:07:18,664 He was smart. 1574 01:07:18,794 --> 01:07:20,231 But perhaps his greatest attribute 1575 01:07:20,361 --> 01:07:22,494 was understanding when he was no longer needed. 1576 01:07:22,624 --> 01:07:26,324 Yes, his greatest masterstroke was 1577 01:07:26,454 --> 01:07:29,588 knowing that to stand in the way of the supernova of leadership 1578 01:07:29,718 --> 01:07:33,766 I've become would have been completely futile to this family 1579 01:07:33,896 --> 01:07:35,594 that William abandoned. 1580 01:07:35,724 --> 01:07:38,727 I promise to take us to heights that he couldn't even imagine. 1581 01:07:38,858 --> 01:07:42,775 And William, though you've now transcended and are likely 1582 01:07:42,905 --> 01:07:46,387 experiencing pleasures we can't even comprehend-- 1583 01:07:46,518 --> 01:07:49,173 the Festival of Endless Beginnings, 1584 01:07:49,303 --> 01:07:51,610 likely seated at the table of Garnatham 1585 01:07:51,740 --> 01:07:56,049 himself, gorging yourself on his fat berries and juices-- 1586 01:07:56,180 --> 01:07:58,356 we miss you. 1587 01:07:58,486 --> 01:08:01,141 One day we'll all be with you, William. 1588 01:08:01,272 --> 01:08:03,796 We'll be where you are. 1589 01:08:03,926 --> 01:08:06,451 And on that day, I will, of course, maintain my leadership 1590 01:08:06,581 --> 01:08:09,367 position over you, but you won't have a problem with it 1591 01:08:09,497 --> 01:08:10,411 this time. 1592 01:08:13,327 --> 01:08:14,720 To William. 1593 01:08:14,850 --> 01:08:15,721 To William. 1594 01:08:15,851 --> 01:08:16,722 To William. 1595 01:08:28,081 --> 01:08:30,214 [background tv noise] 1596 01:08:30,344 --> 01:08:32,694 You're not allowed in Europe but you don't remember why? 1597 01:08:32,825 --> 01:08:36,655 I think it's a family thing I did, we did, long ago. 1598 01:08:36,785 --> 01:08:38,526 Where's your from? 1599 01:08:38,657 --> 01:08:40,615 The middle of Germany. 1600 01:08:40,746 --> 01:08:41,703 Wait, go back. 1601 01:08:41,834 --> 01:08:43,096 [ominous music playing] 1602 01:08:43,227 --> 01:08:44,532 Wherein my client, William Davenport, 1603 01:08:44,663 --> 01:08:47,579 was held captive for years, forced 1604 01:08:47,709 --> 01:08:51,844 to sleep in an unheated barn by the leader of the cult, Chip 1605 01:08:51,974 --> 01:08:53,367 Harper. 1606 01:08:53,498 --> 01:08:56,588 This sick, depraved individual forced my client 1607 01:08:56,718 --> 01:08:59,852 to take part in a myriad of twisted acts, 1608 01:08:59,982 --> 01:09:05,858 including a group suicide ritual, during which my client 1609 01:09:05,988 --> 01:09:09,644 was finally able to escape, only to be tracked down 1610 01:09:09,775 --> 01:09:13,170 several months later by Mr. Harper, who, at which time, 1611 01:09:13,300 --> 01:09:17,391 threatened and forced poor Mr. Davenport to join 1612 01:09:17,522 --> 01:09:19,654 yet another suicide cult. 1613 01:09:19,785 --> 01:09:23,005 Only through cunning wit and the bravest of hearts 1614 01:09:23,136 --> 01:09:28,185 was my client able to escape this dangerous, disgusting, 1615 01:09:28,315 --> 01:09:32,972 unregulated militia and flee to safety, at which point 1616 01:09:33,102 --> 01:09:34,843 he contacted me, Don Wright. 1617 01:09:34,974 --> 01:09:37,150 At this time, we're going to open it up for questions. 1618 01:09:37,281 --> 01:09:38,978 Yes, beautiful woman in the front row? 1619 01:09:39,108 --> 01:09:39,892 How are you? 1620 01:09:40,022 --> 01:09:41,372 He's fucking lying. 1621 01:09:41,502 --> 01:09:42,982 He never spent a night in the punishment barn. 1622 01:09:43,112 --> 01:09:44,462 I knew it was too good to be true. 1623 01:09:44,592 --> 01:09:46,420 It's not. What we have is real. 1624 01:09:46,551 --> 01:09:47,726 I can clear this all up. 1625 01:09:47,856 --> 01:09:49,118 You got to believe me. 1626 01:09:49,249 --> 01:09:50,859 you guys got to believe me, too. 1627 01:09:50,990 --> 01:09:52,774 A lot of that was very concerning, man. 1628 01:09:52,905 --> 01:09:53,819 [sirens] 1629 01:09:53,949 --> 01:09:54,820 Fuck. 1630 01:09:54,950 --> 01:09:56,561 Oh, no, dude. 1631 01:09:56,691 --> 01:09:59,259 Guys, I'll explain everything, but we got to go now. 1632 01:09:59,390 --> 01:10:00,260 Guys, we got to go now. 1633 01:10:00,391 --> 01:10:01,609 We got to go now. 1634 01:10:01,740 --> 01:10:03,002 I'll buy you some time. 1635 01:10:03,132 --> 01:10:05,178 Y'all don't deserve this kind of trouble. 1636 01:10:05,309 --> 01:10:08,834 I can't get in trouble with the police. 1637 01:10:08,964 --> 01:10:10,488 You're a good woman, Dorota. 1638 01:10:10,618 --> 01:10:13,752 I'm doing this for them, Chip, not you. 1639 01:10:13,882 --> 01:10:16,233 [music playing] 1640 01:10:18,670 --> 01:10:21,542 [radio police chatter] 1641 01:10:21,673 --> 01:10:24,458 [gunshots] 1642 01:10:24,589 --> 01:10:27,461 Oh, D, what are they doing to you, baby? 1643 01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:37,166 Guys, this way. 1644 01:10:37,297 --> 01:10:39,517 Chip, was that all true? 1645 01:10:39,647 --> 01:10:41,301 Is this a suicide cult? - No. 1646 01:10:41,432 --> 01:10:42,781 William is full of shit. 1647 01:10:42,911 --> 01:10:44,783 He was the leader of the old family, not me. 1648 01:10:44,913 --> 01:10:46,132 Were you going to kill us? 1649 01:10:46,263 --> 01:10:47,612 No, of course not. 1650 01:10:47,742 --> 01:10:49,483 When the time came, I was hoping you would want 1651 01:10:49,614 --> 01:10:51,572 to kill yourselves with me. 1652 01:10:51,703 --> 01:10:53,313 I know how that sounds, but it's not death. 1653 01:10:53,444 --> 01:10:54,923 It's transcending. 1654 01:10:55,054 --> 01:10:57,839 Is that what transcendence means, killing yourself? 1655 01:10:57,970 --> 01:10:59,798 It's about so much more than that. 1656 01:10:59,928 --> 01:11:01,713 There's so much bullshit here. 1657 01:11:01,843 --> 01:11:03,497 When we transcend, that all goes away. 1658 01:11:03,628 --> 01:11:06,631 No dumb judge taking advantage of you, stealing your family. 1659 01:11:06,761 --> 01:11:08,372 No one to break your heart. 1660 01:11:08,502 --> 01:11:11,026 You're just hanging out with your best friends all the time. 1661 01:11:11,157 --> 01:11:12,854 Doesn't that sound awesome? 1662 01:11:12,985 --> 01:11:14,421 Best friends don't lie to each other 1663 01:11:14,552 --> 01:11:15,988 and they don't manipulate each other. 1664 01:11:16,118 --> 01:11:18,295 I thought we were supposed to help each other, man, 1665 01:11:18,425 --> 01:11:20,122 and make the best of this life right now. 1666 01:11:20,253 --> 01:11:21,602 We are, guys. Come on. 1667 01:11:21,733 --> 01:11:22,908 You don't get it. 1668 01:11:23,038 --> 01:11:24,562 I know it sounds a little far-fetched, 1669 01:11:24,692 --> 01:11:26,390 and I didn't want to tell you this, 1670 01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:30,959 but I know it's true because I brought William back to life. 1671 01:11:31,090 --> 01:11:32,439 [laughs] I'm serious. 1672 01:11:32,570 --> 01:11:33,440 I saw him. 1673 01:11:33,571 --> 01:11:34,963 He was dead. 1674 01:11:35,094 --> 01:11:36,835 The old group, they tried to transcend without me, 1675 01:11:36,965 --> 01:11:38,532 but they're a bunch of snakes. 1676 01:11:38,663 --> 01:11:39,707 They had hate in their hearts, so they couldn't do it right. 1677 01:11:39,838 --> 01:11:41,666 They all died. William, too. 1678 01:11:41,796 --> 01:11:43,755 They brought him back for me. 1679 01:11:43,885 --> 01:11:46,192 We were supposed to get a second chance at this. 1680 01:11:46,323 --> 01:11:49,500 I was supposed to transcend with a good family this time. 1681 01:11:51,763 --> 01:11:53,155 [music playing] 1682 01:11:53,286 --> 01:11:54,766 Guys, I think we should just go back, explain 1683 01:11:54,896 --> 01:11:56,202 to the police everything that happened, 1684 01:11:56,333 --> 01:11:57,334 and just pray for the best. 1685 01:12:00,032 --> 01:12:02,513 All the things you said is really crazy. 1686 01:12:06,168 --> 01:12:07,387 You let us down, man. 1687 01:12:16,091 --> 01:12:18,703 It's so sad how people can lie to themselves. 1688 01:12:18,833 --> 01:12:20,269 Could Chip hear himself? 1689 01:12:20,400 --> 01:12:22,271 Some people can't face reality even 1690 01:12:22,402 --> 01:12:23,708 when it slaps them in the face. 1691 01:12:23,838 --> 01:12:25,449 It's pathetic. 1692 01:12:25,579 --> 01:12:27,189 I don't understand why all these bad things keep happening 1693 01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:29,931 to me when I'm doing so good. 1694 01:12:30,062 --> 01:12:33,152 And I promised Meredith I'd come back a better man. 1695 01:12:33,282 --> 01:12:36,198 Let's hope she forgot about that one. 1696 01:12:36,329 --> 01:12:37,896 Wow. 1697 01:12:38,026 --> 01:12:40,899 I hope this doesn't come off really nasty, 1698 01:12:41,029 --> 01:12:44,816 but when it comes to delusion, Chip has nothing on you two. 1699 01:12:44,946 --> 01:12:47,732 Diane, when are you going to admit that your life is 1700 01:12:47,862 --> 01:12:50,343 a result of your own choices? 1701 01:12:50,474 --> 01:12:52,650 And, Tyler, no matter how much you 1702 01:12:52,780 --> 01:12:55,087 don't want your relationship to be over, 1703 01:12:55,217 --> 01:12:57,394 you have to face the facts. 1704 01:12:57,524 --> 01:12:59,961 She's just not that into you, dude. 1705 01:13:00,092 --> 01:13:03,008 Then again, who am I to judge? 1706 01:13:03,138 --> 01:13:05,402 When I first met you guys, I was still 1707 01:13:05,532 --> 01:13:08,405 reeling from losing my position within the ranks 1708 01:13:08,535 --> 01:13:10,798 of a top secret government program. 1709 01:13:10,929 --> 01:13:13,018 After a failed assassination attempt 1710 01:13:13,148 --> 01:13:16,804 on the Vice Premier of Morocco, I was shot four times 1711 01:13:16,935 --> 01:13:20,982 and left for dead in the Aegean Sea. 1712 01:13:21,113 --> 01:13:23,724 Thanks only to the kindness of the fishermen, 1713 01:13:23,855 --> 01:13:26,684 whose nets lifted my near lifeless body 1714 01:13:26,814 --> 01:13:30,514 from the frothy waters, did I survive. 1715 01:13:30,644 --> 01:13:33,604 I heard rumors of a false flag terrorist 1716 01:13:33,734 --> 01:13:38,609 attack being coordinated by the United States and Saudi Arabia. 1717 01:13:38,739 --> 01:13:42,526 I was hitchhiking to Wyoming, planning to execute vice 1718 01:13:42,656 --> 01:13:45,877 presidential candidate Richard Cheney, 1719 01:13:46,007 --> 01:13:50,882 who my sources indicate is the chief architect of this plot. 1720 01:13:51,012 --> 01:13:55,756 But after just a few hours with you guys, I felt so foolish. 1721 01:13:55,887 --> 01:14:01,066 I realized I've been wasting my life committing violence so I 1722 01:14:01,196 --> 01:14:03,198 could feel a sense of purpose. 1723 01:14:03,329 --> 01:14:06,898 I realized that hanging out with cool friends, that's all I 1724 01:14:07,028 --> 01:14:08,421 really need. 1725 01:14:08,552 --> 01:14:13,818 This family taught me to love again. 1726 01:14:13,948 --> 01:14:16,777 But now it seems like it's falling apart, 1727 01:14:16,908 --> 01:14:21,739 and there's nothing we can do, and it sucks. 1728 01:14:21,869 --> 01:14:23,915 Jim Smith is right, except for I do 1729 01:14:24,045 --> 01:14:26,178 think you're wrong about one thing. 1730 01:14:26,308 --> 01:14:27,658 You are wrong about the fact that we 1731 01:14:27,788 --> 01:14:29,921 can't do anything about this. 1732 01:14:30,051 --> 01:14:33,707 Chip might be all messed up in the head, but listen, 1733 01:14:33,838 --> 01:14:39,800 he's our friend, OK, and I think we got to go back for him. 1734 01:14:39,931 --> 01:14:40,888 Let's do this thing. 1735 01:14:44,109 --> 01:14:45,066 Chip! 1736 01:14:45,197 --> 01:14:47,547 Where are you, buddy? 1737 01:14:47,678 --> 01:14:50,811 Yeah, come on, man. 1738 01:14:50,942 --> 01:14:51,812 Chip? 1739 01:14:51,943 --> 01:14:53,074 Chip? 1740 01:14:53,205 --> 01:14:54,293 Chip, I'm coming for you, buddy. 1741 01:14:54,423 --> 01:14:56,338 Oh my God, Chip! 1742 01:15:00,995 --> 01:15:01,822 Chip, dude. 1743 01:15:01,953 --> 01:15:03,607 Com, On, man. I got you. 1744 01:15:03,737 --> 01:15:04,738 I got you. 1745 01:15:04,869 --> 01:15:06,131 Dude. 1746 01:15:06,261 --> 01:15:08,046 [grunts] 1747 01:15:09,656 --> 01:15:10,570 Fuck! 1748 01:15:10,701 --> 01:15:11,702 Where the fuck am I? 1749 01:15:11,832 --> 01:15:12,746 [screams] 1750 01:15:12,877 --> 01:15:13,878 We brought you back, Betty. 1751 01:15:14,008 --> 01:15:14,922 What? 1752 01:15:15,053 --> 01:15:16,228 Why? 1753 01:15:16,358 --> 01:15:17,882 I screwed you guys big time. 1754 01:15:18,012 --> 01:15:19,971 You guys sold some bogus, dude. 1755 01:15:20,101 --> 01:15:21,886 We figured you could use some help sorting out 1756 01:15:22,016 --> 01:15:23,714 the bad from the good. 1757 01:15:23,844 --> 01:15:25,411 You guys are the best. 1758 01:15:25,542 --> 01:15:27,369 When I was just dead right now, nothing fucking cool 1759 01:15:27,500 --> 01:15:28,283 happened at all. 1760 01:15:28,414 --> 01:15:30,024 It fucking sucked. 1761 01:15:30,155 --> 01:15:33,114 I didn't just grow wings and fly on the Celestial Orbit. 1762 01:15:33,245 --> 01:15:38,119 I didn't get the fucking crown jewels of Princess Namaharnomor. 1763 01:15:38,250 --> 01:15:39,773 I believed William's bullshit. 1764 01:15:39,904 --> 01:15:41,732 He fucked my head up so bad. 1765 01:15:41,862 --> 01:15:44,778 And then I was so charming and seductive when you met me, 1766 01:15:44,909 --> 01:15:47,781 I fucked your heads up bad. 1767 01:15:47,912 --> 01:15:49,783 I almost lost you guys. 1768 01:15:49,914 --> 01:15:52,003 I'm not going to let it happen again. 1769 01:15:52,133 --> 01:15:53,918 Now that you've passed my test-- 1770 01:15:54,048 --> 01:15:54,919 Chip. 1771 01:15:55,049 --> 01:15:56,660 OK, I'm sorry. 1772 01:15:56,790 --> 01:15:59,793 Now that you've saved my life, I'm very appreciative for you. 1773 01:15:59,924 --> 01:16:01,926 I'm going to repay the favor. 1774 01:16:02,056 --> 01:16:03,971 I'm going to save your lives. 1775 01:16:04,102 --> 01:16:08,149 I know how we can clear our names. 1776 01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:10,587 OK, so with that last call, the night 1777 01:16:10,717 --> 01:16:12,371 before we were all going to kill ourselves, 1778 01:16:12,501 --> 01:16:14,591 William made us do this fucked up tape. 1779 01:16:14,721 --> 01:16:16,027 OK. 1780 01:16:16,157 --> 01:16:17,811 So on this tape, that motherfucker 1781 01:16:17,942 --> 01:16:19,378 is clearly the leader. 1782 01:16:19,508 --> 01:16:20,814 He's admitting himself. 1783 01:16:20,945 --> 01:16:23,164 He wants the whole world to know. 1784 01:16:23,295 --> 01:16:24,122 Where's the tape now? 1785 01:16:28,605 --> 01:16:31,520 The important thing is William thinks I burned the tape. 1786 01:16:31,651 --> 01:16:33,610 He thinks all the evidence is gone. 1787 01:16:33,740 --> 01:16:35,046 But I didn't burn it. 1788 01:16:35,176 --> 01:16:37,135 As embarrassed as I am about it now, 1789 01:16:37,265 --> 01:16:39,703 I just couldn't bring myself to destroy those memories. 1790 01:16:39,833 --> 01:16:41,052 Now the bad news is-- - Fore! 1791 01:16:41,182 --> 01:16:42,444 Fuck. 1792 01:16:42,575 --> 01:16:44,751 You see, the problem is that tape is all the way 1793 01:16:44,882 --> 01:16:46,492 the fuck back at that first house where 1794 01:16:46,623 --> 01:16:48,668 William brainwashed me. 1795 01:16:48,799 --> 01:16:50,278 So that's, like, really far. 1796 01:16:50,409 --> 01:16:52,150 If you're dicking around, yeah, it is. 1797 01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:53,804 But if we drive straight through-- 1798 01:16:53,934 --> 01:16:56,328 no stopping for hotel breakfast, no video games, 1799 01:16:56,458 --> 01:16:59,461 no hitchhikers-- we can get there in less than a day. 1800 01:16:59,592 --> 01:17:02,813 We just need a real set of wheels. 1801 01:17:02,943 --> 01:17:03,857 Oh, I have an idea. 1802 01:17:07,165 --> 01:17:08,645 [knocks] 1803 01:17:12,213 --> 01:17:15,521 Well, well, who do we have here? 1804 01:17:15,652 --> 01:17:18,393 I was wondering if that offer for sex while your wife's away 1805 01:17:18,524 --> 01:17:19,525 still stands? 1806 01:17:19,656 --> 01:17:21,092 You're just in time, Gertrude. 1807 01:17:21,222 --> 01:17:23,224 My sister-in-law's back on solid food. 1808 01:17:23,355 --> 01:17:25,531 Means the missus will be back any day now. 1809 01:17:25,662 --> 01:17:27,315 I just have one problem. 1810 01:17:27,446 --> 01:17:29,056 I need to do it outside. 1811 01:17:29,187 --> 01:17:31,232 It's the only way that I like it. 1812 01:17:31,363 --> 01:17:33,495 It's beautiful and natural. 1813 01:17:33,626 --> 01:17:35,497 Just the right amount of nodding, you know? 1814 01:17:35,628 --> 01:17:37,499 Oh, girl, careful now. 1815 01:17:37,630 --> 01:17:39,327 If I'm boned up, you'll give me the shoot 1816 01:17:39,458 --> 01:17:41,112 right here where I stand. 1817 01:17:41,242 --> 01:17:42,461 Uh-oh. 1818 01:17:42,591 --> 01:17:44,332 Come and get me before I change my mind. 1819 01:17:46,900 --> 01:17:49,903 Good things do happen to good people. 1820 01:17:50,034 --> 01:17:51,339 [yells] 1821 01:17:51,470 --> 01:17:54,473 [music playing] 1822 01:17:56,214 --> 01:17:58,607 Hey, that's my grandmother's RV. 1823 01:17:58,738 --> 01:17:59,478 Hey. 1824 01:17:59,608 --> 01:18:01,393 Hey. 1825 01:18:01,523 --> 01:18:04,091 The gravel has scraped my penis. 1826 01:18:12,404 --> 01:18:14,754 [news music playing] 1827 01:18:16,538 --> 01:18:20,629 Behind me stands what most would call a normal-looking home 1828 01:18:20,760 --> 01:18:23,371 just outside a sleepy Midwestern town. 1829 01:18:23,502 --> 01:18:28,202 But within those walls, it was anything but normal. 1830 01:18:28,333 --> 01:18:31,205 Meet Billy Davenport, an innocent man 1831 01:18:31,336 --> 01:18:34,034 who fell under the spell of one of the world's most 1832 01:18:34,165 --> 01:18:36,471 depraved criminals. 1833 01:18:36,602 --> 01:18:39,344 It's honestly a little uncomfortable 1834 01:18:39,474 --> 01:18:41,650 being back this close to the house. 1835 01:18:41,781 --> 01:18:44,131 And why is that? 1836 01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:47,918 I can still hear Chip screaming at me. 1837 01:18:48,048 --> 01:18:49,354 But maybe that was the allure. 1838 01:18:49,484 --> 01:18:51,748 The more he pulled away, the more 1839 01:18:51,878 --> 01:18:54,272 I felt the need to prove myself because he was just 1840 01:18:54,402 --> 01:18:57,014 so charming and special. 1841 01:18:57,144 --> 01:19:00,278 Billy was talking about Chip Harper, a.k.a. 1842 01:19:00,408 --> 01:19:03,716 the Manson of the Midwest and leader of the suicide cult 1843 01:19:03,847 --> 01:19:06,153 known as The Cosmic Dynasty. 1844 01:19:09,200 --> 01:19:11,463 How did you first meet Chip Harper? 1845 01:19:11,593 --> 01:19:13,334 Well, I was very fat at the time, 1846 01:19:13,465 --> 01:19:15,902 and I was in a fast food restaurant arguing 1847 01:19:16,033 --> 01:19:17,904 with one of the workers about the amount of food 1848 01:19:18,035 --> 01:19:19,471 I'd been given. 1849 01:19:19,601 --> 01:19:22,517 I was insisting that they hadn't given me my order, 1850 01:19:22,648 --> 01:19:25,694 even though I'd already eaten all the sandwiches in question. 1851 01:19:25,825 --> 01:19:29,394 Chip saw my desperation and pounced. 1852 01:19:29,524 --> 01:19:34,007 What do you think Chip thought when he first saw you? 1853 01:19:34,138 --> 01:19:37,706 If I had to speculate, hey here's 1854 01:19:37,837 --> 01:19:41,798 a guy I can get to do all the menial, degrading tasks that I 1855 01:19:41,928 --> 01:19:44,235 am to relieve my followers of, in the hopes 1856 01:19:44,365 --> 01:19:47,325 that they'll fall more deeply in love with me. 1857 01:19:47,455 --> 01:19:50,850 If I had to guess, that's it. 1858 01:19:50,981 --> 01:19:52,939 Wait. 1859 01:19:53,070 --> 01:19:54,593 Why is that news van here? 1860 01:19:54,723 --> 01:19:55,812 What's going on? 1861 01:19:59,032 --> 01:20:00,686 Fuck, he's here. 1862 01:20:00,817 --> 01:20:03,167 That piece of shit is here, and he brought Georgeanne Jennings 1863 01:20:03,297 --> 01:20:05,038 here. 1864 01:20:05,169 --> 01:20:06,735 He's probably in there telling her a bunch of lies about us 1865 01:20:06,866 --> 01:20:08,302 right now. 1866 01:20:08,433 --> 01:20:09,869 No, hold on. 1867 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:12,567 We're fine, because the tape's in the barn. 1868 01:20:12,698 --> 01:20:14,656 He doesn't know about the barn. 1869 01:20:14,787 --> 01:20:18,225 As long as he doesn't take her to the barn, we're golden. 1870 01:20:18,356 --> 01:20:23,013 He wanted to show me the barn, far away from the house, where 1871 01:20:23,143 --> 01:20:26,190 he was forced to sleep, often without electricity, 1872 01:20:26,320 --> 01:20:30,237 left to deal with the elements and the wildlife. 1873 01:20:30,368 --> 01:20:31,369 Fuck! 1874 01:20:31,499 --> 01:20:33,197 They're going to the barn. 1875 01:20:33,327 --> 01:20:36,069 Oh, fuck, I'm going to fucking jail forever. 1876 01:20:36,200 --> 01:20:38,593 No. 1877 01:20:38,724 --> 01:20:40,030 No. 1878 01:20:40,160 --> 01:20:41,379 I'm going to get there. 1879 01:20:41,509 --> 01:20:46,340 William, consider your ass plucked. 1880 01:20:46,471 --> 01:20:50,954 Did you ever think about leaving? 1881 01:20:51,084 --> 01:20:53,521 I was too stupid to go anywhere else. 1882 01:20:58,483 --> 01:21:00,528 And to tell you the truth, I've blocked 1883 01:21:00,659 --> 01:21:03,053 a lot of memories of this place out 1884 01:21:03,183 --> 01:21:04,837 on account of all the trauma, but I 1885 01:21:04,968 --> 01:21:08,014 will do my best to answer any questions you may have. 1886 01:21:08,145 --> 01:21:10,495 Did you ever have sex with Chip? 1887 01:21:10,625 --> 01:21:12,279 Stop! No. 1888 01:21:12,410 --> 01:21:14,716 Do not listen to a word this man says, Georgeanne Jennings. 1889 01:21:14,847 --> 01:21:17,981 He is a liar and a huge piece of dog shit. 1890 01:21:18,111 --> 01:21:20,766 Georgeanne, you should run and hide and disregard everything 1891 01:21:20,897 --> 01:21:22,159 this lunatic is saying. 1892 01:21:22,289 --> 01:21:23,769 Keep rolling. Keep rolling. 1893 01:21:23,900 --> 01:21:24,726 Keep rolling's right. 1894 01:21:24,857 --> 01:21:26,598 Keep rolling's right. 1895 01:21:26,728 --> 01:21:29,383 You're going to want to roll on this because I got it all right 1896 01:21:29,514 --> 01:21:30,819 here, Georgeanne. 1897 01:21:30,950 --> 01:21:33,213 I have-- in this tape, I will expose this man 1898 01:21:33,344 --> 01:21:36,564 for the snake he really is and clear my good name. 1899 01:21:36,695 --> 01:21:38,915 It's probably a tape of him showing you 1900 01:21:39,045 --> 01:21:41,178 his penis, and once you see that, you can't unsee it, 1901 01:21:41,308 --> 01:21:42,222 and that's how-- 1902 01:21:42,353 --> 01:21:43,484 It's not my cock. 1903 01:21:43,615 --> 01:21:44,529 [laughs] 1904 01:21:44,659 --> 01:21:46,139 Your time has come, William. 1905 01:21:51,884 --> 01:21:53,799 [music playing] 1906 01:21:58,847 --> 01:22:00,458 Georgeanne, it's going to work, I promise. 1907 01:22:00,588 --> 01:22:02,112 He's stalling, Georgeanne. 1908 01:22:02,242 --> 01:22:03,678 We should leave now while we still have the chance. 1909 01:22:03,809 --> 01:22:05,419 Shut the fuck up, William. 1910 01:22:05,550 --> 01:22:08,379 Mr. Harper, if you don't have anything you can show us, 1911 01:22:08,509 --> 01:22:11,208 I'll have no choice but to call the authorities. 1912 01:22:11,338 --> 01:22:12,600 Georgeanne, it's going to work. 1913 01:22:12,731 --> 01:22:13,732 I know it is. 1914 01:22:19,999 --> 01:22:20,826 Oh. 1915 01:22:20,957 --> 01:22:22,741 [laughs] 1916 01:22:22,871 --> 01:22:24,090 Yes. Yes. 1917 01:22:24,221 --> 01:22:25,048 Look at this. 1918 01:22:25,178 --> 01:22:26,440 This doesn't prove anything. 1919 01:22:26,571 --> 01:22:28,529 That looks like CGI to me, a video game, 1920 01:22:28,660 --> 01:22:29,922 or something like that. 1921 01:22:30,053 --> 01:22:32,838 My name is William Davenport and I 1922 01:22:32,969 --> 01:22:38,104 am the father, shepherd, and spiritual leader of The Cosmic 1923 01:22:38,235 --> 01:22:39,801 Dynasty. 1924 01:22:39,932 --> 01:22:42,630 If you are watching this tape, Georgeanne, 1925 01:22:42,761 --> 01:22:45,851 we have transcended successfully and it 1926 01:22:45,982 --> 01:22:49,811 is your job to spread our message to the unfortunate 1927 01:22:49,942 --> 01:22:50,812 masses. 1928 01:22:50,943 --> 01:22:52,901 Jesus Christ. 1929 01:22:53,032 --> 01:22:55,426 Well, that's obviously a joke. 1930 01:22:55,556 --> 01:22:56,731 The whole thing is a prank. 1931 01:22:56,862 --> 01:22:57,906 Why isn't everybody laughing? 1932 01:22:58,037 --> 01:22:59,343 It's time for laughing now. 1933 01:22:59,473 --> 01:23:00,605 [crazy laughter] 1934 01:23:00,735 --> 01:23:02,041 Whoa. 1935 01:23:02,172 --> 01:23:03,434 What the fuck, dude? Chill out. 1936 01:23:03,564 --> 01:23:04,478 Calm down. 1937 01:23:04,609 --> 01:23:05,784 You calm down. 1938 01:23:05,914 --> 01:23:07,046 Unhand Georgeanne Jennings right now. 1939 01:23:07,177 --> 01:23:09,005 Oh, big man. Big man. 1940 01:23:09,135 --> 01:23:10,658 He's trying to impress you, Georgeanne. 1941 01:23:10,789 --> 01:23:13,270 But she's not impressed because you're a fool. 1942 01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:15,750 Georgeanne, did you know that Chip here 1943 01:23:15,881 --> 01:23:19,754 thought I died and magically came back to life just for him? 1944 01:23:19,885 --> 01:23:21,713 [coughs] 1945 01:23:26,283 --> 01:23:28,676 I didn't drink that poison, you stupid fuck. 1946 01:23:28,807 --> 01:23:29,982 You know what, dude? 1947 01:23:30,113 --> 01:23:31,375 That little comment would have really 1948 01:23:31,505 --> 01:23:33,594 hurt the old me because I thought you rocked, 1949 01:23:33,725 --> 01:23:35,814 but it turns out you fucking suck. 1950 01:23:35,944 --> 01:23:37,685 Yeah, I feel sorry for you, honestly. 1951 01:23:37,816 --> 01:23:39,078 Your vibes are fucked. 1952 01:23:39,209 --> 01:23:40,514 You got a bad attitude. 1953 01:23:40,645 --> 01:23:42,168 And you're a terrible hang. 1954 01:23:42,299 --> 01:23:43,343 Always were. 1955 01:23:43,474 --> 01:23:44,344 Bullshit. 1956 01:23:44,475 --> 01:23:45,476 People love me. 1957 01:23:45,606 --> 01:23:46,607 Not me. 1958 01:23:46,738 --> 01:23:47,913 I think you're a loser. 1959 01:23:48,044 --> 01:23:49,523 Yeah, you think you're all that, 1960 01:23:49,654 --> 01:23:51,395 but you're actually a total scrub. 1961 01:23:51,525 --> 01:23:54,485 I still like you, but not as much. 1962 01:23:54,615 --> 01:23:55,834 Who cares? 1963 01:23:55,964 --> 01:23:57,140 Give me that fucking tape. 1964 01:23:57,270 --> 01:23:59,055 OK, man, just don't do anything crazy. 1965 01:23:59,185 --> 01:24:00,491 Get on your knees. Get on your knees. 1966 01:24:00,621 --> 01:24:01,535 Do what he says. 1967 01:24:01,666 --> 01:24:02,623 Everybody on your knees. 1968 01:24:05,191 --> 01:24:06,671 - Let Georgeanne go. - OK. 1969 01:24:06,801 --> 01:24:07,759 OK. OK. 1970 01:24:10,631 --> 01:24:13,330 I should have let you drink that fucking poison, fucking idiot. 1971 01:24:16,507 --> 01:24:18,509 [screams] 1972 01:24:21,512 --> 01:24:22,991 [mumbling] 1973 01:24:30,042 --> 01:24:31,348 [laughs] 1974 01:24:31,478 --> 01:24:33,437 You got raccoon trapped, bitch. 1975 01:24:33,567 --> 01:24:34,786 You're going to fucking die. 1976 01:24:38,181 --> 01:24:40,444 [laughs] 1977 01:24:40,574 --> 01:24:43,099 I love when my enemies perish. 1978 01:24:43,229 --> 01:24:45,797 He's probably dead, you guys. 1979 01:24:45,927 --> 01:24:50,018 Chip Harper landed on his feet after that fateful day. 1980 01:24:50,149 --> 01:24:53,021 Once spending half a decade under the spell of William 1981 01:24:53,152 --> 01:24:58,549 Davenport, Harper is now an in-demand motivational speaker. 1982 01:24:58,679 --> 01:25:01,508 Today we kill our Williams, and today you're 1983 01:25:01,639 --> 01:25:05,208 all going to become the best versions of yourselves possible. 1984 01:25:05,338 --> 01:25:07,775 [applause] 1985 01:25:12,258 --> 01:25:15,174 Though his wife is currently serving 25 years 1986 01:25:15,305 --> 01:25:18,656 to life in prison for the murder of four police officers, 1987 01:25:18,786 --> 01:25:23,443 these two lovebirds are expecting a beautiful baby girl. 1988 01:25:23,574 --> 01:25:26,011 You know, it wasn't easy, Georgeanne. 1989 01:25:26,142 --> 01:25:29,145 At first, we thought I'd have to cover my frozen seed 1990 01:25:29,275 --> 01:25:31,190 in chocolate and sneak it into the facility 1991 01:25:31,321 --> 01:25:32,670 with a candy bar wrapper. 1992 01:25:32,800 --> 01:25:34,541 Eventually, we were granted conjugal visits, 1993 01:25:34,672 --> 01:25:36,282 but trying to make love to your wife 1994 01:25:36,413 --> 01:25:39,938 in a cold concrete cell, all the other inmates hooting 1995 01:25:40,068 --> 01:25:40,982 and hollering. 1996 01:25:41,113 --> 01:25:42,680 They can smell my pheromones. 1997 01:25:42,810 --> 01:25:44,682 I suppose it comes with the territory of being an alpha 1998 01:25:44,812 --> 01:25:47,815 male, but it's not easy on the erection, Georgeanne, 1999 01:25:47,946 --> 01:25:49,513 I'll be honest with you. 2000 01:25:49,643 --> 01:25:53,778 Luckily, I was able to bust soft and our little miracle 2001 01:25:53,908 --> 01:25:55,736 is on the way any day now. 2002 01:25:55,867 --> 01:25:57,651 Oh, precious. 2003 01:25:57,782 --> 01:26:01,046 And even though your immediate family was recently 2004 01:26:01,177 --> 01:26:03,179 killed in a gravel spill, it seems 2005 01:26:03,309 --> 01:26:05,964 like you've managed to persevere and create 2006 01:26:06,094 --> 01:26:07,792 kind of a new family of sorts. 2007 01:26:07,922 --> 01:26:09,663 You know, what can I say, Georgeanne? 2008 01:26:09,794 --> 01:26:11,230 I'm blessed. 2009 01:26:11,361 --> 01:26:13,276 But as difficult as this ordeal was, 2010 01:26:13,406 --> 01:26:16,366 I met the best pals of my entire life through this thing. 2011 01:26:16,496 --> 01:26:18,324 That's right. 2012 01:26:18,455 --> 01:26:19,586 [chatter] 2013 01:26:25,113 --> 01:26:26,332 Mommy. 2014 01:26:26,463 --> 01:26:29,814 [laughter] 2015 01:26:29,944 --> 01:26:30,815 Thank you. 2016 01:26:30,945 --> 01:26:31,859 Thank you. 2017 01:26:31,990 --> 01:26:32,817 Thank you. 2018 01:26:32,947 --> 01:26:34,471 Thank you. 2019 01:26:34,601 --> 01:26:37,691 Tyler, I think it's safe to say that everybody that 2020 01:26:37,822 --> 01:26:39,693 lived through this situation, we're 2021 01:26:39,824 --> 01:26:43,654 all the absolute best versions of ourselves possible now. 2022 01:26:43,784 --> 01:26:48,311 As for William Davenport, after 36 hours of surgery, 2023 01:26:48,441 --> 01:26:53,011 they managed to remove the sword from his head and save his life. 2024 01:26:53,141 --> 01:26:56,493 But now he's a shit for brains, the type that 2025 01:26:56,623 --> 01:26:58,277 laughs when a train goes by. 2026 01:26:58,408 --> 01:26:59,626 [music playing] 2027 01:26:59,757 --> 01:27:03,978 [SINGING] Put aside your sad, unhappy endings. 2028 01:27:05,241 --> 01:27:07,591 Turn away from the world. 2029 01:27:07,721 --> 01:27:11,812 It's gone and turned its back on you. 2030 01:27:11,943 --> 01:27:15,599 Who knows what tomorrow is beginning? 2031 01:27:18,428 --> 01:27:24,172 All I really know is that I want to be with you. 2032 01:27:24,303 --> 01:27:34,835 For all we'll ever have may be what we share tonight. 2033 01:27:36,794 --> 01:27:47,370 The future's promised to no one, so stay with me in paradise. 2034 01:27:50,373 --> 01:27:55,247 Time is like a river flowing, winding down 2035 01:27:55,378 --> 01:28:02,515 through all our memories, making islands 2036 01:28:02,646 --> 01:28:06,606 of the happiness we've known. 2037 01:28:06,737 --> 01:28:12,699 Down to the sea of life and loving, 2038 01:28:12,830 --> 01:28:18,792 watering our days and all the seeds that we have shown. 2039 01:28:18,923 --> 01:28:27,932 For all we'll ever have may be what we share tonight. 2040 01:28:30,978 --> 01:28:44,165 The future's promised to no one, so stay with me in paradise. 2041 01:28:44,296 --> 01:28:54,915 Yes, all we'll ever have may be what we share tonight. 2042 01:28:58,354 --> 01:29:08,320 The future's promised to no one, so stay with me in paradise. 2043 01:29:09,582 --> 01:29:15,501 And all we'll ever have...