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[Male singer] ♪ MTV ♪
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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[Sway] Hey, what's up, world?
Welcome to Sway's Universe.
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00:00:05,664 --> 00:00:08,334
And happy Thanksgiving to each
and every one of you.
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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And that banger I just played
is called
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[Both]
Never Cared about Christmas
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--by the one and only
Justina Valentine.
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I got the queen
with me right here.
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JV, what's poppin' with you?
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Sway, what's poppin'? First of
all, thank you for having me.
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And second of all,
is it hot in here,
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or is that just my new record?
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Oh, that's definitely
your new joint that's
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heatin' up the charts, but I
gotta ask you about that title.
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Never Cared About Christmas .
'Cause how the family feel?
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They kick you off
that group chat yet?
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They're on my phone plan,
so that wouldn't be
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-a good move, Sway.
-Right? But are you gonna
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see them today?
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I'm running around
so much today.
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I'll be lucky if somebody
saves me a damn turkey leg.
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Dang, so you don't get
no days off?
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Well, you can't shine
if you don't rhyme.
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I gotta get that bread,
cheese and lettuce.
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Make me a little money sandwich.
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Ooh, you've got the
number one song.
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-Cha-ching.
-You got the sold-out tour.
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You got the number one
trend on TikTok.
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-Viral.
-You are the hardest-working
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woman in show business.
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Gas me up 'cause
I ain't a Tesla.
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I still wanna ask you seriously,
do you ever do anything special
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around the holidays?
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Well, my family's Italian,
so our big thing is a
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Feast of the Seven Fishes
on Christmas Eve.
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-Seven fishes?
-Picture this...
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A full spread of seven fishes
prepared with love
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by the olive oil-soaked hands
of Nonna.
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We all get together,
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and the only thing
bigger than the appetites
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are our personalities,
all right? Memories of me,
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fights break out, and I can
always depend on Nonno to fall
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-asleep at the dinner table.
-Nonno falls asleep?
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-Knocked, every time.
-Can I get an invite?
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You spin my joint four more
times today, you get first crack
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at the lobster tails.
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If somebody cracks
a tail before you,
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I'm gonna crack them. You know
what I'm talkin' about?
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-Okay, bada bing.
-Bada boom.
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All right.
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♪ Never cared
about Christmas ♪
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♪ I'd rather it was July ♪
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♪ Always looked
at Kris Kringle ♪
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♪ As just another creepy guy ♪
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♪ Too much holiday spirit ♪
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♪ Got everybody else
stumbling round ♪
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Justina! We have
a whole day of interviews,
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and I really need to prep you.
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Sorry. I might've lied a little
when I said my family wasn't
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pissed I missed Thanksgiving.
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[phone ringing]
Do not answer that.
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How's my favorite network doing
on this fine Thanksgiving?
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Much better after
I heard your interview.
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I had a brilliant idea,
and picture this--
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The Feast of the Seven Fishes,
an Italian-American Christmas
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story presented
by Justina Valentine.
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Ha, ha, ha.
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I mean, I would love to. I just
don't know about bailing on my
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family for another holiday.
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Bailing on them? Who said
anything about bailing on them?
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We want the entire la familia.
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Everyone wants to see
if Nonno can stay awake
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throughout dinner.
Ha, ha, ha.
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What's better than
a camera crew catching
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a very Valentine Christmas?
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♪ How can I fuhgeddabout
How can I fuhgeddabout ♪
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♪ Christmas ♪
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[Justina] Twas the night
before Christmas Eve
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and all through the crib,
everything was a mess.
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I had no presents to give.
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♪ One scrub, two scrub,
three scrub, four ♪
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♪ You looking like a janitor
that's mopping up the floor ♪
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No stockings were hung.
It's not that I don't care,
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but Christmas crept up on me.
I've been busy, I swear.
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Y'all are not stars.
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♪ I singlehandedly damage thee
with philantrophy ♪
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♪ Run and tell 'em I got bars ♪
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♪ Pretty boy, sissy boy,
tummy all bushy ♪
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♪ How y'all a boy squad,
but still so pussy? ♪
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[doorbell ringing]
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Coming.
Sorry, Iz.
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Girl, how long you gonna
leave me waitin' out there?
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-It's freezin'.
-I can tell.
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Your headlights are on. My bad.
My flight got delayed twice
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last night. I just got in. I'm
trying to catch up on some Z's.
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Well, you need to catch up
on this tree.
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Izzy, she's my best friend
since the third grade.
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I couldn't get rid
of her if I tried.
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And believe me, I have.
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-I got this.
-Oh, you got this, huh?
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Did you hear that,
mountain of dirty clothes?
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Don't worry. She's got it.
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Izzy Marone,
she's a ball buster.
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Iz, give it a rest, will ya?
I've been traveling all month.
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Plus it's what?
Noon, December 22nd.
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The camera crew's not
coming til Christmas Eve.
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I got two full days to,
you know.
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What, clean, decorate, cook?
Which by the way, you can't.
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You didn't buy a single gift.
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You know me so well,
but I've always said
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my presence is the present.
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Me and Izzy, it's a
love and hate relationship.
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I love her,
but I hate her mouth.
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Well, newsflash.
It's 5:00 PM, not noon.
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-And it's December 23rd.
-December 23rd? Real nice, Iz.
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You wasted a whole day
with your chattin'.
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Now I'm behind schedule.
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-You're behind because of me.
-Glad you can admit it.
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And to make up for it,
you're gonna help me prepare
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for La Festa de Pecha.
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I don't got 79 hours
to get your life together.
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Please, Iz?
You're pretty when you're mad.
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Fine. Let's go.
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-I love you.
-Now.
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So I feel like now's
i a good time to mention
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my family doesn't know
about the camera crew.
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They're pissed about the song,
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and they think I hate Christmas.
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So I know you're busy,
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but you're never too busy
to get busy.
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[phone ringing]
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-Is that him calling right now?
-How do I look?
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-You look amazing.
-C-O-N-ceited,
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my favorite Floridian bird.
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You ready to migrate
to the tri-state?
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Ho, ho, ho, ho. How is my
favorite host with the most?
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Yeah, that's me.
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Oh, Conceited,
you're so handsome.
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I should really tell you that
more often.
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But since you always tell me
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I have way better bars
than you, we good.
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All right, look, sweetie.
I hope you kept the receipt,
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because that doll
is clearly broken.
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Well, yo, I can't wait
to have my first crazy
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Italian Christmas.
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Well, Con, me and Iz are here
working like two little elves
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gettin' ready
for your big arrival.
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Elf? You said you and Izzy,
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so that's more like two
nutcrackers.
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Too bad you ain't got
no nuts to crack, ya bird.
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I'll see ya tonight?
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Are you wearin' the same
color as Rudolf's nose?
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You're damn right. Ciao.
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So Iz in her heels
and I in my kicks
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headed straight to the mall
to snatch up some gifts.
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Damn Jus, is there anywhere
in the world that isn't
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-playing this song right now?
-I hope not. Girl, we lit.
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Well, at least cover your hair.
I don't want you to get
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-mauled in this mall.
-Okay.
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Homophone. It's when two words
sound alike, but forget it.
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-My mother keeps calling me.
-No, Jus. Call her back later.
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All right, we don't
got time for this.
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Oh no!
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Justina, congratulations.
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Oh my God! The kids are
gonna love that.
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Let me see this. Hey, do they
have any more of these left?
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Nah, they're sold out,
but I got them in the trunk.
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Only you in the trunk.
What else you got in the trunk?
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-I don't wanna know.
-No.
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We love you, but we gotta run,
all right? This one over here
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has literally done nothing yet
and is hosting Christmas Eve.
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-Hosting? You?
-Yeah, hosting.
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-You?
-It'll be fine, but Renee,
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I need some help.
Where can I get some balls,
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not those type of balls, lights,
trees, ornaments, gifts for the
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family and a fish, of course,
for the Seven Fish Feast
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-in the next two hours?
-Okay, let me make a phone call.
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Go to Sabino. Tell him I sent
you. They got you on the fish.
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-Don't forget the Baccala.
-Okay.
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-Get there before 10:00.
-10:00? We gotta go, Jus.
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Come on. We don't
got time for this.
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-I love you.
-The picture.
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-A picture?
-Keep everything in these bags.
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-We gotta go.
-Okay, ready?
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-Yeah, that's my bad side.
-I'll take it. I've got my
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-phone right here. Come on.
-With the flash on.
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Another one. Another one like
Cala said, another one.
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I love ya. Buon natale.
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Take the doll.
Tell your son I said hello.
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-He was always here.
-Yeah, watch that.
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00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:22,667
-Is he still married?
-Watch that.
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All right, I'll watch it.
Come on.
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[music]
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Dat Boi, what are you doing
here?
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00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,852
Whatcha mean,
what am I doing here?
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00:07:40,852 --> 00:07:42,320
-What?
-I'm here to support.
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00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,123
First of all,
Conceited looks mad ugly.
199
00:07:45,123 --> 00:07:46,792
I bought it here.
I bought it for my son.
200
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I look damn good, but I am
a little thicker than this.
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-Baby, I don't know.
-Man, anyway-
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00:07:53,198 --> 00:07:55,066
You know what I've been
needing too, that feature?
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I got you. Dat Boi, we are
living the American dream.
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-Justina in Jersey.
-Before y'all head out,
205
00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:02,274
-we can take a picture.
-Oh yeah, come on. Of course.
206
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,341
-Come on.
-Okay, fine. One picture.
207
00:08:03,341 --> 00:08:04,509
-Izzy, come on.
-One picture.
208
00:08:04,509 --> 00:08:05,744
-Make me look thick.
-You're too antsy.
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00:08:05,744 --> 00:08:06,945
I'm gettin' rid of her
after this Christmas.
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00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,513
And make sure you
get my good side.
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00:08:08,513 --> 00:08:10,782
She's done. Yeah, me too. Get my
good side too. Do I look thicc?
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00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,617
-Ooh, thicc. I don't know-
-How do I look?
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00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,553
-Amazing. Wow.
-All right. I love you, bro.
214
00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:15,854
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
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00:08:15,854 --> 00:08:17,956
I've been doing my squats
though.
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00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,025
Don't you think I'm a little
thicker than the doll?
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-No.
-A little bit?
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00:08:21,193 --> 00:08:22,227
Mm-mm.
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00:08:22,227 --> 00:08:27,566
[music]
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♪ Never cared about Christmas ♪
221
00:08:36,041 --> 00:08:39,077
♪ What's Santa Claus
to Scrooge ♪
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Wow. Now this is the best
store in the mall. Period.
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00:08:44,883 --> 00:08:47,919
Woo, woo, it's you!
It's really you!
224
00:08:47,919 --> 00:08:49,855
-That's crazy!
-All right, all right.
225
00:08:49,855 --> 00:08:53,391
Humble, is it? Listen, we got a
lot to get in a little bit of
226
00:08:53,391 --> 00:08:55,026
time, all right? So first off-
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00:08:55,026 --> 00:08:58,763
Iz, I found the perfect gifts
for the entire family.
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00:08:58,763 --> 00:09:00,365
Dolls of you and Con?
229
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,567
What? Is it too conceited,
Humble?
230
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:05,203
[laughing]
231
00:09:05,203 --> 00:09:07,639
We literally have, like, 11
minutes before Sabino's closes.
232
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Where's your holiday spirit?
233
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:12,277
Humble, don't worry about her
because I got tees.
234
00:09:12,277 --> 00:09:17,682
I got hoodies. I got elves.
I've even got hats.
235
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:21,019
Everything I need.
Bada bing bada boom, capiche ?
236
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,455
You are hilarious
even in real life, man.
237
00:09:23,455 --> 00:09:25,056
This is nuts.
238
00:09:25,056 --> 00:09:26,992
Yeah, she's a real pisser, all
right? So anything else we need?
239
00:09:26,992 --> 00:09:29,127
We have everything
but the ornaments.
240
00:09:29,127 --> 00:09:33,398
-How's these?
-You have good taste.
241
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:35,100
Well, I got the job, didn't I?
242
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:36,868
Uh-huh. Well, look,
I feel like
243
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:40,438
I got more done
than an elf in July.
244
00:09:40,438 --> 00:09:43,975
All right, Humble, everything
on this rack, bag it, tag it.
245
00:09:43,975 --> 00:09:46,444
And if a Grinch acts up,
I will drag it.
246
00:09:46,444 --> 00:09:48,380
You know what? Just do this.
I got you.
247
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,981
The hoodies, everything.
Get it all.
248
00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:51,783
If you don't cheer up
one of these days,
249
00:09:51,783 --> 00:09:53,084
you're gonna get a hernia.
250
00:09:53,084 --> 00:09:55,287
This mamaluke, there's my day
one right there.
251
00:09:55,287 --> 00:09:58,957
-And I always got your back.
-Like a bra strap.
252
00:09:58,957 --> 00:10:00,926
[Both] Yeah.
253
00:10:00,926 --> 00:10:02,661
Hey Jus, who you gonna
call for a ride?
254
00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:03,828
What do you mean ride?
You're leaving me?
255
00:10:03,828 --> 00:10:05,130
I gotta get to Sabino's.
256
00:10:05,130 --> 00:10:07,232
Sabino's closes
in three minutes.
257
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,268
Now what am I gonna do
about food for tomorrow?
258
00:10:10,702 --> 00:10:12,437
-Yo J!
-Tonio!
259
00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,739
-Yo, you need some help?
-Yeah, I gotta get to Sabino's
260
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,274
in two minutes.
261
00:10:16,274 --> 00:10:18,576
Oh my God, they don't call me
two-minute man for nothin'.
262
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:21,112
Merry Christmas,
you filthy animal.
263
00:10:21,112 --> 00:10:22,347
Good luck!
264
00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:23,882
-You ready to go?
-Andiamo.
265
00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:25,583
Yah!
266
00:10:26,618 --> 00:10:28,753
♪ Gonna go to Sabino's ♪
267
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:32,090
- ♪ Better go get some-- ♪
-Ooh.
268
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,591
-Girl!
-DC, what the hell are you
269
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,227
-doin' out here?
-Dang, Justina, I came down here
270
00:10:36,227 --> 00:10:38,229
to get to Sabino's 'cause I
heard they had the best fish on
271
00:10:38,229 --> 00:10:40,966
the East Coast, so now I'm about
to go to Georgia and dig in it.
272
00:10:40,966 --> 00:10:43,001
Wait, can you hook me up
with a recipe or something?
273
00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:44,903
Listen to me. You couldn't cook
if Moses came down here and
274
00:10:44,903 --> 00:10:46,538
gave you his hands, okay?
275
00:10:46,538 --> 00:10:49,441
-Now part the sea. Excuse me.
-Well, let me at least try one.
276
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:52,510
Now just because she hang around
a lot of Black people,
277
00:10:52,510 --> 00:10:54,245
that don't mean she know
how to cook.
278
00:10:54,245 --> 00:10:56,815
Last time I invited Justina
over to a barbecue,
279
00:10:56,815 --> 00:10:58,383
I said, you know what, Justina?
280
00:10:58,383 --> 00:11:00,585
I feel like you can hang.
Don't you know she brought
281
00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:03,655
some mayonnaise? What the hell
we gonna put on some mayonnaise
282
00:11:03,655 --> 00:11:05,357
out here? This is ribs!
283
00:11:05,357 --> 00:11:06,658
You can't try one of these.
284
00:11:06,658 --> 00:11:08,226
You can try some from that--
Oops.
285
00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:09,260
They are closed.
286
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:11,262
Look like you're
in a fishy situation.
287
00:11:11,262 --> 00:11:13,498
No wonder you are so crabby.
Guess what? I heard your
288
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:17,035
-little shrimp coming to town.
-Oh Con? Yeah, he is.
289
00:11:17,035 --> 00:11:18,269
Don't care.
290
00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:20,905
-I'll wrestle you for it.
-Let go of my Sabino's.
291
00:11:20,905 --> 00:11:22,340
No!
292
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,377
She got her own fish. I don't
know why she want my fish for.
293
00:11:25,377 --> 00:11:27,846
Her fish always smellin'.
294
00:11:27,846 --> 00:11:29,280
Girl, you know you don't want
these problems.
295
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,117
♪ JV, I'll win the game
I score a hat trick ♪
296
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:34,986
♪ You won't look good in person
You a catfish ♪
297
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:38,056
♪ Listen, Justina
You leave me no choice ♪
298
00:11:38,056 --> 00:11:39,691
♪ I still hate your voice ♪
299
00:11:39,691 --> 00:11:41,393
Thank you.
Stay wavy!
300
00:11:41,393 --> 00:11:43,028
Don't be actin' like a little
fish outta water either.
301
00:11:43,028 --> 00:11:45,997
-I wasn't done!
-Doesn't matter! I won!
302
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:48,533
And stay true, Justina!
Don't be a tilapia!
303
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,602
-Ugggghhh!
-[DC] Stay safe!
304
00:11:50,602 --> 00:11:52,570
It's hard to catch a cab
when you're Black.
305
00:11:52,570 --> 00:11:53,872
[banging on door]
306
00:11:53,872 --> 00:11:55,340
♪ What'd you-- ♪
307
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,475
Justina drink coffee at night.
That's why her voice
308
00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:59,344
sound like that.
309
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,180
You still tryin' to get my fish?
What's wrong with you, girl?
310
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:06,051
-Give me the fish!
-You get your ass on!
311
00:12:06,051 --> 00:12:08,887
I'm so disappointed
in myself, T.
312
00:12:08,887 --> 00:12:11,156
I really wanted to get this
right for my family,
313
00:12:11,156 --> 00:12:13,158
especially with
the whole world watching.
314
00:12:13,158 --> 00:12:15,060
-I hear you, sis.
-Well, let's put our heads
315
00:12:15,060 --> 00:12:18,430
together and figure out how we
can get this fish by tomorrow.
316
00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:20,965
Okay.
317
00:12:20,965 --> 00:12:22,600
I didn't mean literally.
318
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,701
[phone ringing]
319
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,303
Shh, this is Con.
320
00:12:25,303 --> 00:12:26,604
C-O-N-ceited.
321
00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:28,740
Okay, there's been
a slight delay.
322
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:30,041
Don't tell me you
missed your flight.
323
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:33,778
No, my flight missed me.
Okay, it is their loss.
324
00:12:33,778 --> 00:12:36,281
But Justina, even if I was
ready what, what?
325
00:12:36,281 --> 00:12:37,949
You're not even home.
Where you at?
326
00:12:37,949 --> 00:12:40,185
I'm just gettin' a couple of
last-minute holiday snacks.
327
00:12:40,185 --> 00:12:43,188
Okay, wait, wait. I need you to
get hot sauce and, and get some
328
00:12:43,188 --> 00:12:46,057
seasoning 'cause I know there's
no seasoning at your house.
329
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,258
And salt and pepper
does not count.
330
00:12:47,258 --> 00:12:49,027
Con, I'm Italian.
331
00:12:49,027 --> 00:12:50,862
You're gonna get lost
in all this sauce.
332
00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:54,232
-I'll be there in the morning.
-Ciao for now.
333
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,935
I gotta pull this off, T.
Especially since everybody's
334
00:12:56,935 --> 00:12:59,170
cannolis are in a bunch
about the new record.
335
00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:02,307
Available on all
streaming platforms now.
336
00:13:02,307 --> 00:13:04,242
-Never Cared About Christmas ?
-Yeah.
337
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,010
It doesn't have
the best message.
338
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:09,214
You too? Anyway, let's think.
Where can we get this fish
339
00:13:09,214 --> 00:13:13,051
at 10:30 PM on the night
before Christmas Eve?
340
00:13:13,051 --> 00:13:15,954
Who's the most powerful
Italian we know?
341
00:13:16,821 --> 00:13:20,959
[music]
342
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,295
-Justina?
-Vin?
343
00:13:24,295 --> 00:13:26,731
Are you okay? Is Joe Button
over there bothering you?
344
00:13:26,731 --> 00:13:28,800
This is Tonio.
What are you doing here.
345
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,735
Mr. Sabino just got in
from fishing.
346
00:13:30,735 --> 00:13:34,739
He puts aside the freshest of
the fresh for me and Aunt Sylvia
347
00:13:34,739 --> 00:13:36,174
for tomorrow night's dinner.
348
00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:40,411
-Only you, Vin.
-Merry Christmas, Justina.
349
00:13:40,411 --> 00:13:43,581
How's your mother and
Uncle Tony? Everybody good?
350
00:13:43,581 --> 00:13:46,351
Good, good. Everybody's good,
Aunt Syl. How you been?
351
00:13:46,351 --> 00:13:50,155
Thank God. God bless.
Good, good. Everybody's good.
352
00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:51,689
-That's good.
-Justina, what are you
353
00:13:51,689 --> 00:13:53,158
-even doing here?
-I came to get fish
354
00:13:53,158 --> 00:13:56,027
for Christmas Eve. I'm hosting
my family for the first time
355
00:13:56,027 --> 00:13:58,163
tomorrow night, and they closed
before I could get in.
356
00:13:58,163 --> 00:14:00,098
-You're hosting Christmas Eve?
-Yeah.
357
00:14:00,098 --> 00:14:02,667
That's one invite I hope
gets lost in the mail.
358
00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:06,504
Don't worry, Justina.
You and Tony come in with us,
359
00:14:06,504 --> 00:14:08,072
and you pick out your fish.
360
00:14:08,072 --> 00:14:10,808
-Aunt Syl, I couldn't impose.
-Impose? Aren't we supposed
361
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,177
to get these fishes?
362
00:14:12,177 --> 00:14:13,811
-Oh, come on. It's the best
fish in the world.
363
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,146
He'll even deliver it
right to your house.
364
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,115
-If you insist.
-Hey, Vinnie.
365
00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:18,750
-Sabino!
-Good thing you called.
366
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:20,652
-I was about to go home.
-You're the best.
367
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:23,922
Hey Aunt Sylvia, how are
you doin'? You good? You good?
368
00:14:23,922 --> 00:14:26,858
-Good, good. Everybody's good.
-I'm good. You good?
369
00:14:26,858 --> 00:14:28,092
[Both] Everybody's good.
370
00:14:28,092 --> 00:14:29,694
-That's good.
-Everybody's good.
371
00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,396
That's good, everybody's good.
372
00:14:31,396 --> 00:14:34,532
-Hey Justina, how are ya?
-Mr. Sabino, much better now.
373
00:14:34,532 --> 00:14:36,668
I thought I was gonna be
fishless for my feast tomorrow.
374
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:37,835
What are you talkin' about
fishless?
375
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,103
I own a store over here.
376
00:14:39,103 --> 00:14:41,940
Hey, don't worry.
Come in, place your order.
377
00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:44,342
I'll get the fish to your
house in time for dinner.
378
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,311
Your family's gonna
think you made it yourself.
379
00:14:46,311 --> 00:14:49,747
And don't worry, I ain't gonna
tell nobody, I'm no rat.
380
00:14:49,747 --> 00:14:52,817
Well, that's good, Mr. Sabino
'cause if you tell anyone,
381
00:14:52,817 --> 00:14:54,819
you'll be sleepin'
with the fishes.
382
00:14:54,819 --> 00:14:56,688
Hey, Luca Brasi, huh?
383
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,624
Hey, you hear that expression,
it fell off the back of a truck?
384
00:14:59,624 --> 00:15:02,026
Well, my fish just fell
off the back of a boat.
385
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,562
-Hey!
-Ladies first.
386
00:15:04,562 --> 00:15:06,097
Ladies first.
387
00:15:09,918 --> 00:15:11,653
-Whoa, oh, oh, oh.
-Oh, my gosh.
388
00:15:11,653 --> 00:15:14,389
Listen J, I gotta get going.
I got a new gig to prepare for.
389
00:15:14,389 --> 00:15:17,926
-Ooh, what's the gig?
-Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
390
00:15:17,926 --> 00:15:20,496
-It's a secret.
-Oh, well, listen T, you are
391
00:15:20,496 --> 00:15:25,767
a lifesaver, mostly your car.
But you're cool too.
392
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:28,504
Good luck at the gig.
I appreciate you.
393
00:15:28,504 --> 00:15:31,974
-You take care, sis.
-How do I get out of here?
394
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,509
That's the paparazzi feature.
395
00:15:33,509 --> 00:15:35,277
It'll get you in and out of
the house without being seen.
396
00:15:35,277 --> 00:15:36,645
-Dope.
-Is the foyer okay?
397
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:40,148
-Yeah.
-For your convenience.
398
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,825
Who can I call at this hour
to help me whip the house
399
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,560
into shape by morning?
400
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,161
[Perez] Pulling into
the driveway, team.
401
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,763
I want everybody positioned
402
00:15:54,763 --> 00:15:57,533
to get more angles
than an IG model.
403
00:15:57,533 --> 00:16:02,971
Miguel, make sure we're live
on every social media.
404
00:16:02,971 --> 00:16:05,007
-Yes sir.
-Let's go.
405
00:16:06,108 --> 00:16:08,277
-Hey Justina.
-Perez.
406
00:16:08,277 --> 00:16:11,847
Don't mind us. Just here for
the exclusive on Con's arrival.
407
00:16:11,847 --> 00:16:13,448
Ah yeah, so about that--
408
00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:17,019
Don't tell me he got Grinch on
you when you're about to host
409
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:20,522
the big, traditional Italian
Seven Fish Feast and meet
410
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:25,327
-your family live on television.
-Damn, Perez, you are good.
411
00:16:25,327 --> 00:16:28,297
I just saw you were at the fish
market with Vinny and Tonio
412
00:16:28,297 --> 00:16:30,899
and Vinny's aunt,
and the photos will be up--
413
00:16:30,899 --> 00:16:32,100
Oh, it's up already.
414
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:35,270
-And trending!
-You don't miss a beat.
415
00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:38,440
It's what I do. So where is he?
I wanna post the exclusive
416
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,143
-on Christmas morning.
-He's just a little delayed.
417
00:16:41,143 --> 00:16:44,246
How little delayed? I've got
Doja Cat and Bad Bunny coming
418
00:16:44,246 --> 00:16:47,349
in on a private jet at JFK.
That's top secret.
419
00:16:47,349 --> 00:16:50,586
Don't tell anybody.
Miguel. Miguel, NDA.
420
00:16:50,586 --> 00:16:53,188
-Where did he come from?
-Just finger sign that.
421
00:16:53,188 --> 00:16:55,691
It's not gonna be long til he
gets here, so in the meantime
422
00:16:55,691 --> 00:16:57,426
I know what would be really fun.
423
00:16:57,426 --> 00:17:00,762
-I don't do fun.
-You, Miguel come kick it.
424
00:17:00,762 --> 00:17:04,132
Have some eggnog. Maybe do
a little bit of decorating.
425
00:17:04,132 --> 00:17:07,803
Then you get the exclusive
from inside the house.
426
00:17:07,803 --> 00:17:10,405
What's better than that?
427
00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:15,077
Cut the beat. Abort mission.
Let's lead with the Bad Bunny
428
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,679
and Doja Cat backup story.
429
00:17:17,679 --> 00:17:21,350
Perez, I really need your help.
430
00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:24,953
I have to prove to everyone that
I do care about Christmas.
431
00:17:24,953 --> 00:17:29,157
I'll sign right now.
No lawyers.
432
00:17:29,157 --> 00:17:31,660
Only if I can post it
on Instagram and Facebook,
433
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:35,697
and Twitter, Snapchat, Tumblr,
TikTok, YouTube, Twitch, Pico,
434
00:17:35,697 --> 00:17:38,934
Clubhouse, all live,
and no content approval.
435
00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:43,438
Geez. Well, Miguel, get my good
side at least. All right. Deal.
436
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:47,009
Put the beat back on.
We're going in.
437
00:17:48,744 --> 00:17:51,046
♪ Everybody wanna be
what they see on the TV ♪
438
00:17:51,046 --> 00:17:52,714
♪ Level up like they see-see ♪
439
00:17:52,714 --> 00:17:54,750
♪ Tell me, do you love me
ki-ki-ki-ki ♪
440
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:58,153
♪ The new drug is attention
me, me, me, me--ow ♪
441
00:17:59,054 --> 00:18:00,722
[birds chirping]
442
00:18:00,722 --> 00:18:02,424
[twinkling]
443
00:18:02,924 --> 00:18:06,028
[music]
444
00:18:09,731 --> 00:18:11,967
They're here.
They're here!
445
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:13,669
Miguel, Miguel!
446
00:18:15,737 --> 00:18:20,642
[music]
447
00:18:22,711 --> 00:18:25,514
I tossed and turned all night.
I felt so bad
448
00:18:25,514 --> 00:18:27,749
for my girl, Justina.
It's her first time hosting.
449
00:18:27,749 --> 00:18:30,285
Yeah, I remember my first
time hosting Christmas Eve.
450
00:18:30,285 --> 00:18:32,788
I wanted everything
to be perfect.
451
00:18:32,788 --> 00:18:34,756
Could you believe, Renee,
somebody disrespected
452
00:18:34,756 --> 00:18:35,957
my meatball recipe?
453
00:18:35,957 --> 00:18:37,392
-The meatballs?
-Yeah.
454
00:18:37,392 --> 00:18:38,994
-And I almost flipped the table.
-You should've flipped
455
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:40,762
-the table.
-I was like, are you kidding me?
456
00:18:40,762 --> 00:18:42,898
-Teresa?
-Hi. Buon Natale.
457
00:18:42,898 --> 00:18:44,199
Buon Natale.
458
00:18:44,199 --> 00:18:45,834
-Yeah, yeah.
-Renee.
459
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,970
You can follow me if you want.
I'm scared. Okay, to what do
460
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:51,173
I owe this honor 'cause I have
not been that good this year
461
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:52,507
to get a gift like this.
462
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:54,176
Renne said you
might need my help.
463
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,578
-I need a lotta help.
-All right. I'm no snitch,
464
00:18:56,578 --> 00:18:58,814
but I saw you the other day
in the mall, you were a mess.
465
00:18:58,814 --> 00:19:00,182
I had to do something for you.
466
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,217
We need to hook this place up
and light it up like
467
00:19:02,217 --> 00:19:03,952
you've never seen before.
468
00:19:03,952 --> 00:19:06,154
Think of us like
your guido godmothers.
469
00:19:06,154 --> 00:19:07,756
Your fairy mob mother.
470
00:19:07,756 --> 00:19:11,660
Thank you Jesus, Mary,
Holy Spirit, and Santa Claus.
471
00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:13,328
Andiamo ,
but let's get this going.
472
00:19:13,328 --> 00:19:15,864
Let's go! Bring 'em in!
Right now! You're gettin' fired!
473
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,132
So is your father! Let's go!
474
00:19:17,132 --> 00:19:19,267
I had to call the best
for the best
475
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:21,837
and bring the
best event planners in.
476
00:19:21,837 --> 00:19:25,640
As soon as Renee called me,
I'm like, we got this.
477
00:19:26,641 --> 00:19:29,845
Justina's gonna have the
best Christmas Eve party ever!
478
00:19:29,845 --> 00:19:33,849
Wow, it looks amazing in here!
479
00:19:33,849 --> 00:19:35,650
-Do you like it?
-I love it.
480
00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:38,720
-You ladies saved Christmas.
-So doll, next time you need us,
481
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,089
-just give us a call.
-[Justina] I will.
482
00:19:43,358 --> 00:19:46,294
-Arrivederci!
-Ciao!
483
00:19:47,329 --> 00:19:52,334
A guido godmother and
a fairy mob mother...
484
00:19:52,334 --> 00:19:54,703
What a Christmas.
485
00:19:57,806 --> 00:19:58,840
Some of them, yeah.
486
00:20:00,509 --> 00:20:01,743
All of them?
487
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,379
They don't all like anybody!
Not even each other.
488
00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:05,714
Do I think they would like me?
489
00:20:05,714 --> 00:20:08,316
Do I think her family
will like me?
490
00:20:08,316 --> 00:20:10,252
They need to be worried
about if I like them.
491
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,554
I'm the conceited one.
Everybody likes me.
492
00:20:12,554 --> 00:20:14,523
They will love me.
They'll be smitten by me.
493
00:20:14,523 --> 00:20:16,792
You like me.
You probably adore me.
494
00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:21,363
Who doesn't like me? Are you
serious? Will they like me? Ha.
495
00:20:22,731 --> 00:20:24,533
No, wait, but seriously, I just
have to know is there something
496
00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:26,835
that you know that I don't know?
497
00:20:26,835 --> 00:20:31,206
Well, well, well. Look what
the cat dragged in, a bird.
498
00:20:31,206 --> 00:20:33,375
I don't even want to know
what that cat dragged in.
499
00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:35,377
Uh, I'm lookin' at it.
500
00:20:35,377 --> 00:20:37,646
Justina, it is Christmas.
Could you show me some type
501
00:20:37,646 --> 00:20:41,349
-of love for once?
-Oh look, mistletoe!
502
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:43,485
Too bad it didn't
come with a step stool.
503
00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:44,920
Ew, what is he doing here?
504
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,456
-[Both] Long story.
-Great. Don't wanna hear it.
505
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,058
Can I come inside, please?
Thank you.
506
00:20:50,058 --> 00:20:51,259
All right. Come on.
507
00:20:51,259 --> 00:20:53,495
All right, Perez,
I'd say you got way more
508
00:20:53,495 --> 00:20:55,497
than you bargained for,
wouldn't you?
509
00:20:55,497 --> 00:20:57,465
Is the tree-trimming scene
negotiable?
510
00:20:57,465 --> 00:21:00,135
[Both] No!
[door slams shut]
511
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:04,739
You can't blame me for trying.
Team, load out.
512
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,210
-I told you.
-Yo, this is insane!
513
00:21:08,210 --> 00:21:10,378
-It looks crazy.
-And it's gonna be my first
514
00:21:10,378 --> 00:21:12,214
-time trimmin' a tree.
-Right.
515
00:21:12,214 --> 00:21:13,615
♪ Since Italians play soccer ♪
516
00:21:13,615 --> 00:21:15,250
♪ They gonna love to
kick it with me ♪
517
00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:16,952
♪ Mm-hmm. Well,
don't be nervous, Con ♪
518
00:21:16,952 --> 00:21:18,920
♪ They'll love you
We all know this ♪
519
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,223
♪ Plus, you're easy
to get along with ♪
520
00:21:21,223 --> 00:21:23,058
♪ In small doses ♪
521
00:21:23,058 --> 00:21:25,694
♪ They're gonna be a fan of my
raps and the bars that I got ♪
522
00:21:25,694 --> 00:21:27,629
♪ I should be on
a Christmas tree ♪
523
00:21:27,629 --> 00:21:29,831
♪ 'Cause baby,
I'm a star off the top ♪
524
00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:31,533
You still got it.
525
00:21:31,533 --> 00:21:33,501
I would never have thought
this in a million years.
526
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,604
I cannot believe
you pulled this off.
527
00:21:35,604 --> 00:21:37,572
This house looks crazy, Justina.
528
00:21:37,572 --> 00:21:41,142
Are you dumb? Maybe next time
you should, uh, you know,
529
00:21:41,142 --> 00:21:43,912
have a little more faith in me,
C-O-N.
530
00:21:45,614 --> 00:21:48,383
That's not a mistake
I'll ever make again.
531
00:21:48,650 --> 00:21:50,685
The house looks beautiful.
532
00:21:50,685 --> 00:21:52,921
The only thing more
beautiful is you.
533
00:21:53,922 --> 00:21:56,057
[doorbell rings]
534
00:21:56,992 --> 00:22:00,228
So I heard Justina was gonna
have some smackin', bustin'
535
00:22:00,228 --> 00:22:02,631
delicioso food at this party.
536
00:22:02,631 --> 00:22:04,900
Now you know why we're here.
Because them Italians
537
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,735
don't play, but I'll
tell you what, though.
538
00:22:08,570 --> 00:22:10,338
It better fo sho you right on.
539
00:22:10,338 --> 00:22:12,474
-Yeah, I mean--
-Merry Christmas, y'all!
540
00:22:12,474 --> 00:22:13,675
- Hey!
-What are they doing here?
541
00:22:13,675 --> 00:22:15,277
-I have no idea.
-Come on, Justina.
542
00:22:15,277 --> 00:22:17,512
I swear.
543
00:22:17,512 --> 00:22:22,417
-What up, fam? Tis the season!
-Oh, my boy! My son!
544
00:22:22,417 --> 00:22:24,953
Man, how y'all doin'
on this Christmas Eve?
545
00:22:24,953 --> 00:22:28,356
Good God, Justina.
Ooh, this is a nice place.
546
00:22:28,356 --> 00:22:30,425
-You been gettin' to the money.
-You damn right.
547
00:22:30,425 --> 00:22:32,861
How much is she gettin' paid
from Basic to Boujee ?
548
00:22:32,861 --> 00:22:34,896
Oh, speaking of Basic to Boujee,
you know, we thought
549
00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:37,132
we'd stop by, get a little
exclusive footage
550
00:22:37,132 --> 00:22:38,366
for next season.
You know the vibe.
551
00:22:38,366 --> 00:22:40,669
You know I can always eat.
552
00:22:40,669 --> 00:22:43,305
Mouth open. You know, when
it hits the food, it oxidizes?
553
00:22:43,305 --> 00:22:44,773
-Yeah, yeah.
-Wait, wait, so why didn't you
554
00:22:44,773 --> 00:22:46,541
just call first?
At least let me go-
555
00:22:46,541 --> 00:22:47,876
-Hey, hey, hey!
-[gasping]
556
00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:50,412
Where's your Christmas spirit?
We're a family.
557
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,847
We don't need no invitation.
It's me and Tim, man.
558
00:22:52,847 --> 00:22:54,983
-Boop, boop.
-Boop.
559
00:22:54,983 --> 00:22:59,521
♪ Listen, I got the seven
fishes, all Italian dishes ♪
560
00:22:59,521 --> 00:23:02,590
♪ It's gonna be bussin'
and delicious ♪
561
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:05,327
♪ And plus my cookin' vicious ♪
562
00:23:05,327 --> 00:23:06,761
♪ Oh, stop lyin'
to your friends ♪
563
00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:08,196
♪ 'Cause your cooking is
definitely not vicious ♪
564
00:23:08,196 --> 00:23:09,798
Viciously--
[doorbell rings]
565
00:23:09,798 --> 00:23:15,337
Who am I to Justina? More
like who is Justina to me? Ah!
566
00:23:15,337 --> 00:23:17,839
What the hell's the matter
with ya, Jus?
567
00:23:17,839 --> 00:23:22,310
Ya got me standin' outside
like the Statue of Liberty.
568
00:23:23,912 --> 00:23:27,015
Oh my God!
Conceited?
569
00:23:27,015 --> 00:23:30,018
Tim!
570
00:23:30,018 --> 00:23:33,254
And is that Big Baby?
571
00:23:33,254 --> 00:23:34,456
Mm-hmm.
572
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:37,792
I'll show him a for sure
you ride on.
573
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:38,927
Mm-hmm.
574
00:23:38,927 --> 00:23:42,197
Gi, take it easy.
They're not goin' nowhere.
575
00:23:42,197 --> 00:23:44,632
This is my cousin, Gianna.
576
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,434
Do you have any more
surprises for me?
577
00:23:46,434 --> 00:23:48,003
Yeah. My booty's growing.
578
00:23:51,206 --> 00:23:55,377
That's right! I'm Gianna. Hope I
didn't hurt yous with the door.
579
00:23:55,377 --> 00:23:59,781
With all this junk
I got in my trunk.
580
00:24:00,415 --> 00:24:02,183
You know what?
It's not a bad trunk either.
581
00:24:02,183 --> 00:24:05,153
Now I came to help you with
the tree 'cause I know you
582
00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:09,290
don't know the first thing
about decoratin', but clearly,
583
00:24:09,290 --> 00:24:11,059
you must've hired professionals
584
00:24:11,059 --> 00:24:14,062
'cause it looks like a
million bucks in here.
585
00:24:14,062 --> 00:24:16,865
Hold on, time out.
Justina, you hired people?
586
00:24:16,865 --> 00:24:20,635
-I did not hire anybody.
-Ha! If he believes that,
587
00:24:20,635 --> 00:24:24,139
he's as stupid as he looks
on the television.
588
00:24:24,139 --> 00:24:26,941
Okay, listen. Everyone's gonna
be here in, like, an hour.
589
00:24:26,941 --> 00:24:28,810
So I need to get
this last tree done.
590
00:24:28,810 --> 00:24:31,446
Mm, you need some trimmers?
591
00:24:31,446 --> 00:24:34,983
-I know a guy.
-Oh wow, big daddy!
592
00:24:34,983 --> 00:24:37,685
All right, C-O-N,
you wanna do the honors?
593
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:38,920
It'll be my pleasure.
594
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:44,859
[music]
595
00:24:51,433 --> 00:24:52,468
I'm gonna find a room
in this palace.
596
00:24:52,468 --> 00:24:54,103
I'm gonna go
get settled and powdered.
597
00:24:54,103 --> 00:24:57,640
And then I'll be down
to help you with the food.
598
00:25:01,410 --> 00:25:03,212
If she puts any more powder on,
599
00:25:03,212 --> 00:25:05,981
Darren's gonna think she's
a donut and try to eat her.
600
00:25:05,981 --> 00:25:08,217
Hey! I heard that!
601
00:25:08,217 --> 00:25:12,421
She's always been jealous of
my skin, soft as a baby's tush.
602
00:25:12,421 --> 00:25:16,592
She's got greasy skin
just like her mother!
603
00:25:16,592 --> 00:25:19,028
And maybe I wouldn't mind
if Darren wanted to
604
00:25:19,028 --> 00:25:22,298
take a little bite!
605
00:25:23,365 --> 00:25:28,437
Oh God! I'm okay! Darren, I
could use some help! Oh boy!
606
00:25:28,437 --> 00:25:30,940
Oh boy! He-he-help!
607
00:25:30,940 --> 00:25:33,575
We all have a
cousin like Gianna.
608
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,811
Good luck with that,
Big Baby.
609
00:25:35,811 --> 00:25:37,212
Yo, listen,
while he's worried about
610
00:25:37,212 --> 00:25:39,081
whatever she's talkin' about,
I need to talk to you.
611
00:25:41,116 --> 00:25:43,919
No. I don't get nervous.
I even, like, studied Italian.
612
00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:46,021
You know, I was speakin' Italian
before I got here.
613
00:25:47,823 --> 00:25:49,458
Just said the whole alphabet.
614
00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:51,460
I wanted to give you your gift
now before everybody gets here.
615
00:25:51,460 --> 00:25:52,561
-What'd you get me? A chain?
-Better.
616
00:25:52,561 --> 00:25:53,796
-Some earrings?
-Better.
617
00:25:53,796 --> 00:25:55,931
-A bigger booty?
-I'm not a miracle worker.
618
00:25:55,931 --> 00:26:00,035
-But I have this.
-Um, your doll?
619
00:26:00,035 --> 00:26:03,872
Ungrateful, but no.
It is not just my doll.
620
00:26:03,872 --> 00:26:05,941
This one has a magic NFT number
621
00:26:05,941 --> 00:26:08,177
connecting it to a
metaverse of Christmas.
622
00:26:08,177 --> 00:26:10,412
Well, I did just buy a whole
bunch at the mall.
623
00:26:10,412 --> 00:26:11,714
And I have to say,
now that you're here,
624
00:26:11,714 --> 00:26:13,682
there is an uncanny resemblance.
625
00:26:13,682 --> 00:26:15,551
You're both ugly,
but kinda cute.
626
00:26:15,551 --> 00:26:17,086
So I'll keep him.
627
00:26:17,086 --> 00:26:19,254
The magic comes alive tonight,
midnight Christmas Eve,
628
00:26:19,254 --> 00:26:23,559
so I'm gonna give him to you
now before, you know, you go...
629
00:26:23,559 --> 00:26:26,028
-Get a little off the eggnog.
-I'll eggnog you.
630
00:26:26,028 --> 00:26:28,998
[clock chiming]
631
00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:32,835
-Time to get fly.
-Let's do it.
632
00:26:39,541 --> 00:26:45,147
Who's ready to get
this party started?
633
00:26:46,181 --> 00:26:48,050
[cackling]
[screaming]
634
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:52,888
Darren!
635
00:26:52,888 --> 00:26:55,591
You look good. Your shoulders
look so big today.
636
00:26:55,591 --> 00:26:57,526
I pick you up all the time.
I've been working out
637
00:26:57,526 --> 00:26:58,961
-a little bit.
-[Justina] I can tell.
638
00:26:58,961 --> 00:27:02,598
They're here!
639
00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:08,404
[Both] Clearly!
640
00:27:09,004 --> 00:27:11,974
-Justina, here goes nothing.
-Don't embarrass me now,
641
00:27:11,974 --> 00:27:13,976
-you bird.
-Don't embarrass me.
642
00:27:13,976 --> 00:27:16,745
You know they call me
Flossy the Snowman, right?
643
00:27:16,745 --> 00:27:19,415
More like Rudolf the
Red-Nosed Plain Deer.
644
00:27:19,415 --> 00:27:21,583
I just said don't embarrass me.
Stop.
645
00:27:21,583 --> 00:27:22,851
That word play was crazy,
though.
646
00:27:22,851 --> 00:27:24,053
-I actually loved it.
-You like that.
647
00:27:24,053 --> 00:27:25,921
I do.
648
00:27:28,590 --> 00:27:31,293
Yeah so, what do you wanna know?
649
00:27:31,293 --> 00:27:34,530
Tony, behave yourself.
650
00:27:34,830 --> 00:27:36,331
-My Justina.
-Nonna.
651
00:27:36,331 --> 00:27:37,599
Oh c'mere.
652
00:27:37,599 --> 00:27:38,700
How was Nonna's lips?
You're beautiful.
653
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:39,902
-Do I need some more rouge?
-No.
654
00:27:39,902 --> 00:27:42,938
Gianna, oh my God.
Pull your skirt down.
655
00:27:42,938 --> 00:27:45,674
Jesus Christ. Look at you two.
Yous have always been
656
00:27:45,674 --> 00:27:49,111
inseparable ever since
you was a little girl.
657
00:27:49,111 --> 00:27:50,846
You make Nonna so happy.
658
00:27:50,846 --> 00:27:53,415
-Joey.
-Justina, look at this place.
659
00:27:53,415 --> 00:27:55,784
-You live in a freakin' castle.
-I got a room for you anytime.
660
00:27:55,784 --> 00:27:57,753
Oh, you're so handsome.
Listen, not only are you
661
00:27:57,753 --> 00:28:00,089
my favorite brother,
you're the most handsome.
662
00:28:00,089 --> 00:28:02,291
You know, don't tell Tony
and Johnny, but next to you,
663
00:28:02,291 --> 00:28:03,559
facia brute, huh?
664
00:28:03,559 --> 00:28:04,960
You know me. My lips are sealed.
665
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,029
Oh, this is Conceited.
This is my brother, Joey.
666
00:28:07,029 --> 00:28:11,133
C'mere you!
Welcome to the family.
667
00:28:11,133 --> 00:28:12,167
Merry Christmas.
668
00:28:12,167 --> 00:28:13,969
-He kissed me.
-So that's what we do.
669
00:28:13,969 --> 00:28:15,370
Kiss on both sides of the cheek.
670
00:28:15,370 --> 00:28:17,706
-With the men?
-Yeah, you're lucky he gave you
671
00:28:17,706 --> 00:28:19,575
two kisses, not two schiaffs
Right, Joe?
672
00:28:19,575 --> 00:28:20,642
What she said.
673
00:28:20,642 --> 00:28:21,777
So what do you wanna know?
674
00:28:23,812 --> 00:28:25,714
Oh yeah? Well, you know,
the tomato don't fall too far
675
00:28:25,714 --> 00:28:27,149
from the vine, capiche?
676
00:28:27,149 --> 00:28:29,118
Isn't he handsome?
Look at him, Conceited.
677
00:28:29,118 --> 00:28:32,187
He's my most favorite grandson.
And he didn't get this big
678
00:28:32,187 --> 00:28:34,623
and strong on his own.
I fed him a lot of chicken parm.
679
00:28:34,623 --> 00:28:35,858
Isn't that right, Joey?
680
00:28:35,858 --> 00:28:37,793
Who the hell are these people?
681
00:28:37,793 --> 00:28:40,062
In the name of the Holy Spirit.
He's embarrassing me.
682
00:28:40,062 --> 00:28:41,730
He's giving me heartaches, Joe.
683
00:28:41,730 --> 00:28:43,265
Calm down. These are
the caterers for the food.
684
00:28:43,265 --> 00:28:47,603
-Don't you wanna eat?
-Caterers on Christmas Eve?
685
00:28:47,603 --> 00:28:51,340
Justina don't even know how to
boil water. I like it al dente.
686
00:28:51,340 --> 00:28:53,375
Not al dente your teeth.
687
00:28:53,375 --> 00:28:56,211
I brought and extra set of
dentures just in case.
688
00:28:56,211 --> 00:28:57,479
You know what I mean?
689
00:28:57,479 --> 00:29:00,582
What's the matter for you?
You don't like Christmas?
690
00:29:00,582 --> 00:29:02,217
You don't wanna be home
with your family?
691
00:29:02,217 --> 00:29:05,621
La shaloo Anthony. Leave him
alone and mind your business.
692
00:29:05,621 --> 00:29:08,991
I'll la shaloo you!
You floozy!
693
00:29:08,991 --> 00:29:11,393
I'm happy to work today
and make the money.
694
00:29:11,393 --> 00:29:14,863
May I get you a drink?
695
00:29:14,863 --> 00:29:17,766
You know something?
I like this guy.
696
00:29:17,766 --> 00:29:19,902
Maybe we'll keep him around.
697
00:29:21,003 --> 00:29:23,305
And who the hell are these
guys with the cameras?
698
00:29:23,305 --> 00:29:25,374
What are we taping,
Wheel of Fortune ?
699
00:29:25,374 --> 00:29:26,875
I'll take an F.
700
00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:30,646
-Get these microphones out--
-Here we go again.
701
00:29:30,646 --> 00:29:32,881
-My sciata nerve.
-Be straight. Take a breath.
702
00:29:32,881 --> 00:29:34,750
-My sciata nerve.
-Take a breath.
703
00:29:34,750 --> 00:29:36,218
-My sciata nerve.
-[Joey] Take a breath!
704
00:29:36,218 --> 00:29:38,854
Think of the antipasta.
There you go.
705
00:29:38,854 --> 00:29:41,723
Nonno. Relax.
We're gonna have a great night.
706
00:29:41,723 --> 00:29:44,126
-And this is Conceited.
-Conceited?
707
00:29:44,126 --> 00:29:46,728
What the hell kind of name is
that?
708
00:29:46,728 --> 00:29:48,597
And what does he have to be
conceited about?
709
00:29:48,597 --> 00:29:50,732
-Well, he's with me, isn't he?
-God got tired while he was
710
00:29:50,732 --> 00:29:55,103
making him. Look at his legs.
Jesus Christ.
711
00:29:55,103 --> 00:29:57,239
Let me get a good look at him.
712
00:29:57,239 --> 00:29:58,607
-Conceited?
-Yes.
713
00:29:58,607 --> 00:30:00,108
Where's the rest of you, honey?
714
00:30:00,108 --> 00:30:02,110
-The rest of me?
-Well, your shoulders
715
00:30:02,110 --> 00:30:05,347
are very large, they don't
match the rest of your body.
716
00:30:05,347 --> 00:30:06,815
Do ya fix?
717
00:30:06,815 --> 00:30:10,419
-Like stuff around the house.
-Justina sweetie,
718
00:30:10,419 --> 00:30:11,954
if he doesn't fix,
719
00:30:11,954 --> 00:30:14,756
fix him a plane ticket
back to where he came from.
720
00:30:14,756 --> 00:30:16,191
-I can hear you.
-All right, honey.
721
00:30:16,191 --> 00:30:19,294
Enjoy your night.
Anthony, put that down!
722
00:30:19,294 --> 00:30:22,297
You're gonna spoil
your whole appetite.
723
00:30:22,297 --> 00:30:24,866
I'm gonna need a Christmas
miracle for this one
724
00:30:24,866 --> 00:30:27,202
to stop naggin' me.
725
00:30:27,202 --> 00:30:29,004
I'm gonna make sure she
doesn't break a hip, okay?
726
00:30:29,004 --> 00:30:31,306
Do you know any hitmen that
could whack her by the morning?
727
00:30:31,306 --> 00:30:33,041
I'll give you some good
scharole .
728
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,944
What's your name,
Buddy the Butler?
729
00:30:35,944 --> 00:30:37,412
We're gonna be good friends.
730
00:30:37,412 --> 00:30:40,082
Hey, how're doin'? I'm Tony,
Justina's older, wiser-
731
00:30:40,082 --> 00:30:43,085
-And I'm his wife, Angela.
-Ang, Ang, let me talk first.
732
00:30:43,085 --> 00:30:45,420
-Okay, she's my sister.
-Oh please, you're boring.
733
00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:48,924
-Bor-I'm boring?
-Let the people do their job.
734
00:30:48,924 --> 00:30:51,827
I got a job for you.
Hey baby, I got a job for you.
735
00:30:51,827 --> 00:30:53,662
It's called shut the hell up.
Okay, you're hired.
736
00:30:53,662 --> 00:30:55,364
Congratulations.
737
00:30:55,364 --> 00:30:59,468
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
and a happy New Year ♪
738
00:30:59,468 --> 00:31:03,005
Hey sis, how ya doin'?
Thank you so much for hosting
739
00:31:03,005 --> 00:31:05,240
this year. Now the only fish I
gotta worry about is this one,
740
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,275
ya know?
741
00:31:06,275 --> 00:31:08,110
-Hi Justina!
-You're Reggie, right?
742
00:31:08,110 --> 00:31:10,679
-You're Reggie?
-Con. You can call be Conceited.
743
00:31:10,679 --> 00:31:13,048
Oh, it's Con! It's right there
on the necklace. You see that?
744
00:31:13,048 --> 00:31:15,884
Oh, he's a good speller.
Justina, you chose a good one.
745
00:31:15,884 --> 00:31:18,120
All right. Let's go, kids.
746
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,055
-How does he know my name?
-He must've Googled you.
747
00:31:20,055 --> 00:31:21,323
He don't watch the show.
748
00:31:21,323 --> 00:31:22,791
Come on, Carmella.
Santa doesn't like slow.
749
00:31:22,791 --> 00:31:24,760
Dad, just stop with
all the Santa crap.
750
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,328
-Hey!
-No!
751
00:31:26,328 --> 00:31:28,563
Keep it up, Carmella. Santa's
not gonna bring you nothin'.
752
00:31:28,563 --> 00:31:30,432
And I'm gonna laugh my head off.
753
00:31:30,432 --> 00:31:33,335
-Oh, shut the hell up, Tony.
-Carmella, no!
754
00:31:33,335 --> 00:31:34,569
Carmella!
755
00:31:34,569 --> 00:31:36,204
You talk to your brother like
that one more time
756
00:31:36,204 --> 00:31:37,439
I'm spraying you
with holy water, okay?
757
00:31:37,439 --> 00:31:39,675
Really Carm, where's
your Christmas spirit?
758
00:31:39,675 --> 00:31:41,243
I don't got any
Christmas spirit, Ma.
759
00:31:41,243 --> 00:31:42,544
-That's enough.
-Oh, since when?
760
00:31:42,544 --> 00:31:44,980
Say hello to your aunt
and Reggie. Go inside.
761
00:31:44,980 --> 00:31:46,848
Oh wow, you look a lot
taller in person.
762
00:31:46,848 --> 00:31:49,184
-Really?
-No.
763
00:31:49,184 --> 00:31:51,553
All right. One, zero.
Carm, listen, I know
764
00:31:51,553 --> 00:31:54,956
it's been forever, but I got
you a really good present.
765
00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:57,926
-Bribes are definitely accepted.
-All right. Get inside.
766
00:31:57,926 --> 00:32:00,095
-She's gettin' fresh.
-Hey, I've been prayin',
767
00:32:00,095 --> 00:32:01,997
all right? Reggie,
do yourself a favor, okay?
768
00:32:01,997 --> 00:32:03,131
-Con.
-Don't have kids.
769
00:32:03,131 --> 00:32:05,600
-Hey Tony! Don't say that?
-What?
770
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,870
You would make beautiful battle
rap babies, I'm telling you.
771
00:32:08,870 --> 00:32:10,205
-We would.
-Don't listen to him.
772
00:32:10,205 --> 00:32:11,740
-He's a bitter old man.
-Old man?
773
00:32:11,740 --> 00:32:13,008
-Yes.
-Hey, she didn't call me
774
00:32:13,008 --> 00:32:14,443
old man last night.
You know what I mean?
775
00:32:14,443 --> 00:32:16,378
-Oh, Tony!
-Ew!
776
00:32:16,378 --> 00:32:18,513
I got mortadella , procutte,
and Mozzerella,
777
00:32:18,513 --> 00:32:20,048
don't eat the whole tray,
you garvone .
778
00:32:20,048 --> 00:32:21,850
-I gotta eat it before Reggie.
-It's Con, but--
779
00:32:21,850 --> 00:32:23,685
-All right, Reggie.
-Hey, Anthony Jr.!
780
00:32:23,685 --> 00:32:25,120
Are you outta your mind?
Put that--
781
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,823
Excuse me, doll.
What the devil are you doing?
782
00:32:27,823 --> 00:32:29,024
-Let's go make a drink.
-No.
783
00:32:29,024 --> 00:32:30,392
You need a drink.
It'll be all right, Con.
784
00:32:30,392 --> 00:32:31,827
I could've stayed
in Miami for this.
785
00:32:34,204 --> 00:32:35,973
But she's never around anyway,
so who cares?
786
00:32:35,973 --> 00:32:37,675
Carmella, that is really
rude of you
787
00:32:37,675 --> 00:32:39,143
to say about Aunt Justina.
788
00:32:39,143 --> 00:32:40,644
-What's the matter with you?
-Nothing rude about it!
789
00:32:40,644 --> 00:32:41,779
I'm just answering the
questions.
790
00:32:41,779 --> 00:32:42,913
-Yes, it is!
-No, it isn't!
791
00:32:42,913 --> 00:32:44,214
Yes, it is!
792
00:32:44,214 --> 00:32:45,516
No, it isn't!
793
00:32:45,516 --> 00:32:47,251
Yes. It. Is!
794
00:32:47,251 --> 00:32:49,253
No, it isn't!
795
00:32:49,253 --> 00:32:50,354
Yes it is.
796
00:32:50,354 --> 00:32:51,522
All right, Bud.
797
00:32:51,522 --> 00:32:54,191
When are we gonna sit down
and get to eatin'?
798
00:32:54,191 --> 00:32:56,427
When is it time for the fish?
799
00:32:56,427 --> 00:32:59,063
Whenever you'd like, sir.
800
00:32:59,063 --> 00:33:03,233
Tony, I love this guy.
Can I take him home with me?
801
00:33:03,233 --> 00:33:05,302
On Justina's dime, of course.
802
00:33:05,302 --> 00:33:08,038
Anthony, don't you wanna wait
for your other grandchildren
803
00:33:08,038 --> 00:33:10,975
to get here before you start
eatin', you garvone?
804
00:33:10,975 --> 00:33:13,310
-Eh, the hell with them.
-Nah, hang on, Nonno.
805
00:33:13,310 --> 00:33:14,778
Let me text them.
806
00:33:14,778 --> 00:33:17,214
Do what you want, but the time
they gets here, all this food's
807
00:33:17,214 --> 00:33:20,184
gonna be in the sewer system
already. You know what I mean?
808
00:33:20,184 --> 00:33:22,519
Jesus Christ,
I can't even have a nice day--
809
00:33:22,519 --> 00:33:24,722
Do you know anybody who could
take care of your grandmother
810
00:33:24,722 --> 00:33:26,223
for me? You know, pft.
811
00:33:26,223 --> 00:33:29,059
-Nonno, it's Christmas.
-Nonno, the Lord is listenin'.
812
00:33:29,059 --> 00:33:31,128
Good, if He loves me,
He'll take her by the morning.
813
00:33:31,128 --> 00:33:32,396
Oh.
814
00:33:32,396 --> 00:33:34,431
Yeah, pray you'll
find a wife like her.
815
00:33:34,431 --> 00:33:37,101
Let me tell you something
before I die.
816
00:33:37,101 --> 00:33:39,703
You've always been
my favorite grandchild.
817
00:33:39,703 --> 00:33:40,904
-Want to know why?
-Why?
818
00:33:40,904 --> 00:33:42,806
-You're ugly just
like your grandfather.
819
00:33:42,806 --> 00:33:44,274
Thanks Pop.
820
00:33:44,274 --> 00:33:46,510
-What about me, Nonno?
-Joey, please.
821
00:33:46,510 --> 00:33:49,913
if you were on Star Wars ,
your name would be Chewbaccala.
822
00:33:49,913 --> 00:33:53,484
Oh God, my sciata nerve,
my nerve, my nerve.
823
00:33:53,484 --> 00:33:55,719
-Nonno, you're breathing.
-One, two, three.
824
00:33:55,719 --> 00:33:58,622
One, two, three.
One, two three.
825
00:33:58,622 --> 00:34:01,058
And then be relaxed.
826
00:34:02,359 --> 00:34:04,895
-All right.
-I'll take another.
827
00:34:07,264 --> 00:34:09,433
Go, go. What are you doin'?
You're still standin' here.
828
00:34:09,433 --> 00:34:11,235
-Go get another one.
-What a stunad.
829
00:34:11,235 --> 00:34:13,804
A frickin' weirdo, that guy.
Weirder than you.
830
00:34:14,838 --> 00:34:16,507
Come on, honey. I'm not yellin'.
You just, you walk very slow,
831
00:34:16,507 --> 00:34:18,375
okay? That's all I'm sayin'.
What is this?
832
00:34:18,375 --> 00:34:20,644
What is this, Dateline ?
How old are you?
833
00:34:20,644 --> 00:34:22,946
How do I feel? I don't know.
I feel fine, you know,
834
00:34:22,946 --> 00:34:24,782
as long as there's some good
food, good drinks,
835
00:34:24,782 --> 00:34:26,250
for as rich as she is, you know?
836
00:34:26,250 --> 00:34:29,687
Merry Christmas, Johnny.
And Merry Christmas, Madam.
837
00:34:29,687 --> 00:34:31,388
-Who the hell are you?
-Let me take your jacket.
838
00:34:31,388 --> 00:34:33,190
Where is-I didn't know my--
Where's my family?
839
00:34:33,190 --> 00:34:37,161
Johnny, get in here and sit
down! I'm starvin' over here!
840
00:34:37,161 --> 00:34:38,662
Sit the hell down, will ya?
841
00:34:38,662 --> 00:34:41,498
I've already had the privilege
of seating them, Johnny.
842
00:34:41,498 --> 00:34:44,234
-Right this way.
-Nice touch! Nice touch, sis!
843
00:34:44,234 --> 00:34:45,636
Yeah, with the cameras
and everything!
844
00:34:45,636 --> 00:34:47,571
It's never just about the family
with this one, never!
845
00:34:47,571 --> 00:34:49,540
What are you, do you like this?
You're looking at the cameras.
846
00:34:49,540 --> 00:34:51,241
It's TRL ? Get over here.
847
00:34:54,845 --> 00:34:57,381
[sniffing]
848
00:34:58,916 --> 00:35:01,585
I'm ready to cut into this fish.
849
00:35:01,585 --> 00:35:04,621
[Buddy] Would you like me
to serve you a plate, sir?
850
00:35:04,621 --> 00:35:07,324
Does a fat baby fart?
851
00:35:08,459 --> 00:35:10,194
I want some brussel sprouts on
your plate.
852
00:35:10,194 --> 00:35:13,097
I need you eating some greens.
You see all this?
853
00:35:13,097 --> 00:35:16,366
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
854
00:35:17,267 --> 00:35:19,269
I'm not gonna lie.
Justina, this food looks great.
855
00:35:19,269 --> 00:35:21,739
And everybody better
clear their plate.
856
00:35:21,739 --> 00:35:23,340
Oh, you wanna kick
the freestyle?
857
00:35:23,340 --> 00:35:24,808
Well, let me do the honors.
858
00:35:24,808 --> 00:35:26,210
♪ They account and got a penne ♪
859
00:35:26,210 --> 00:35:28,011
♪ Mine's full of cheese
like lasagna ♪
860
00:35:28,011 --> 00:35:30,180
♪ JV, I'll get rid
of ya rasta ♪
861
00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:33,050
♪ Italiana, all these
other chicks are imposters ♪
862
00:35:33,050 --> 00:35:35,219
♪ Nobody at this table
wanna spin it with me ♪
863
00:35:35,219 --> 00:35:37,087
♪ Watch your mouth, Con
There's plenty other ♪
864
00:35:37,087 --> 00:35:38,722
♪ Fish in the sea
'cause when I do it ♪
865
00:35:38,722 --> 00:35:41,558
♪ Yeah, I do it one time
Merry Christmas to all ♪
866
00:35:41,558 --> 00:35:44,561
-♪ Conceited ♪
-♪ Justina Valentine ♪
867
00:35:44,561 --> 00:35:46,563
[cheers and applause]
868
00:35:46,563 --> 00:35:48,065
Who is that?
What are they singing?
869
00:35:48,065 --> 00:35:49,133
The Beatles?
870
00:35:49,133 --> 00:35:50,167
-Rap.
-Freestyle, freestyle.
871
00:35:50,167 --> 00:35:51,301
Freestyle rap.
872
00:35:51,301 --> 00:35:52,836
Oh, you don't have
to pay for it?
873
00:35:52,836 --> 00:35:54,171
-No, no, no.
-Free's for me.
874
00:35:54,171 --> 00:35:56,006
Thank you. Thank you, Jesus.
Lord, did that stop.
875
00:35:56,006 --> 00:35:57,474
Thank you so much.
876
00:35:57,474 --> 00:36:00,944
-Such a hater.
-That's very nice, you two.
877
00:36:00,944 --> 00:36:03,514
Is that something from the TV
show you're on with the guy
878
00:36:03,514 --> 00:36:08,085
-with all the kids?
-Who's on the show? Gianna?
879
00:36:08,085 --> 00:36:09,987
-Angela?
-No, not me.
880
00:36:09,987 --> 00:36:12,322
-Justina?
-Yeah Nonno, remember?
881
00:36:12,322 --> 00:36:14,625
I'm on TV with Nick Cannon
on Wild n' Out .
882
00:36:14,625 --> 00:36:18,162
Wild and who? Wait, what?
Nick Cannon on the singing show
883
00:36:18,162 --> 00:36:21,231
with the mask?
I've never seen you on there.
884
00:36:21,231 --> 00:36:22,766
Which one were you?
885
00:36:22,766 --> 00:36:25,469
Yeah, she's one of the judges.
Robin not so Thicke.
886
00:36:25,469 --> 00:36:29,072
Robin? Robin who?
Is this a stick-up?
887
00:36:29,072 --> 00:36:31,909
Go to the car, under the seat.
Go!
888
00:36:31,909 --> 00:36:34,778
-Nonno!
-Can it like San Marzano.
889
00:36:34,778 --> 00:36:37,815
Not for nothin' that wild show
or whatever, it's too confusing.
890
00:36:37,815 --> 00:36:39,716
I can't understand half the
things you're sayin' on there.
891
00:36:39,716 --> 00:36:41,685
Ya know, Johnny, maybe that
man bun's tied on a little bit
892
00:36:41,685 --> 00:36:43,921
too tight these days because
it's not too hard to understand.
893
00:36:43,921 --> 00:36:46,323
With the rappity rap, I gotta
know what's goin' on over there.
894
00:36:46,323 --> 00:36:49,593
Rappity rap? He got leftity back
three times in the third grade.
895
00:36:49,593 --> 00:36:52,129
-Three times?
-It was twice. Their fault.
896
00:36:52,129 --> 00:36:55,599
It was a mix-up with the--
It was three times.
897
00:36:55,599 --> 00:36:59,570
Johnny, that's not very nice to
say about your sister's show.
898
00:36:59,570 --> 00:37:03,006
Show? Which show? Show me some
more vino over here.
899
00:37:03,006 --> 00:37:04,741
Yes, sir.
900
00:37:06,410 --> 00:37:09,146
-Ah. Give me a kiss.
-It would be an honor, sir.
901
00:37:10,514 --> 00:37:12,182
Other side.
902
00:37:14,151 --> 00:37:16,153
The other side of the cheek,
not the chair.
903
00:37:16,153 --> 00:37:18,889
-My apologies, sir.
-Smarten up, kid.
904
00:37:18,889 --> 00:37:21,058
Justina's been on that show
now for, like, eight years.
905
00:37:21,058 --> 00:37:22,893
-Eight years? No kidding?
-Yeah, whatta got?
906
00:37:22,893 --> 00:37:25,963
Spaghetti for brains, Nonno?
How do you not remember that?
907
00:37:25,963 --> 00:37:27,698
-Watch your mouth!
-Jesus Christ!
908
00:37:27,698 --> 00:37:30,601
He certainly does
have spaghetti for brains.
909
00:37:30,601 --> 00:37:33,971
And it's not angel hair.
It's rigatoni 'cause Tony,
910
00:37:33,971 --> 00:37:35,672
your brain is rigged
the wrong way.
911
00:37:35,672 --> 00:37:40,410
Hey, women ought to be seen
and not heard!
912
00:37:40,410 --> 00:37:42,713
So wait, you didn't know
Aunt Justina was rich
913
00:37:42,713 --> 00:37:44,014
and famous, Nonno?
914
00:37:44,014 --> 00:37:45,449
First of all,
who the hell are you?
915
00:37:45,449 --> 00:37:48,619
And second of all,
I see now she's rich.
916
00:37:48,619 --> 00:37:54,224
This house, this wine, this guy.
Come here, son.
917
00:37:54,224 --> 00:37:57,961
Give me some more. Good boy.
Give me another kiss.
918
00:37:57,961 --> 00:38:00,397
It would be an honor, sir.
919
00:38:00,397 --> 00:38:03,734
Lil Tony, I don't know if
I'd say famous. It's like B,
920
00:38:03,734 --> 00:38:05,636
C-list celebrity at best, right?
Wouldn't you say that?
921
00:38:05,636 --> 00:38:07,404
Better than being
a D-list nobody.
922
00:38:07,404 --> 00:38:09,006
That's a good one, sis.
923
00:38:09,006 --> 00:38:11,708
But Joey, hey, hey. Why don't
you wipe Justina's ass off
924
00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:13,744
your lips? There you go.
There's a napkin for you.
925
00:38:13,744 --> 00:38:17,047
Watch your mouth, boys. It's
Christmas for Christ's sake.
926
00:38:17,047 --> 00:38:18,582
And the damn kids are here.
927
00:38:18,582 --> 00:38:19,883
Sorry, Nonna.
928
00:38:19,883 --> 00:38:22,352
I'm gonna go to the kitchen
and get my wooden spoon.
929
00:38:22,352 --> 00:38:25,088
Get a brain while you're
in there, you scarecrow!
930
00:38:25,088 --> 00:38:27,257
Mind your business, Anthony!
931
00:38:27,257 --> 00:38:29,426
I'll mind my business
when you get a mind.
932
00:38:29,426 --> 00:38:32,296
-Ah! He didn't take his pill.
-This is the Feast of the
933
00:38:32,296 --> 00:38:34,998
Seven Fishes,
and you make eight!
934
00:38:34,998 --> 00:38:38,502
All right, look, jokes aside.
Everything, Justina,
935
00:38:38,502 --> 00:38:40,737
we're really proud of you.
We really are, honest to God.
936
00:38:40,737 --> 00:38:42,039
Speak for yourself!
937
00:38:42,039 --> 00:38:43,540
How come we didn't pray?
938
00:38:43,540 --> 00:38:45,876
We teacher says we're supposed
to pray before every meal
939
00:38:45,876 --> 00:38:47,210
just in case you choke.
940
00:38:47,210 --> 00:38:50,981
I wish your great grandmother
would choke.
941
00:38:50,981 --> 00:38:52,249
Okay.
942
00:38:52,249 --> 00:38:53,750
All right.
Everybody put your forks down.
943
00:38:53,750 --> 00:38:55,185
We're gonna listen to my son.
We're ready.
944
00:38:55,185 --> 00:38:58,588
-Jesus Christ.
-Carmella, take notes.
945
00:38:58,588 --> 00:39:01,058
Jesus and God, and the Holy
Spirit, please bless our family
946
00:39:01,058 --> 00:39:05,329
on Christmas and the other
364 days if you're not too busy.
947
00:39:05,329 --> 00:39:07,264
And we only wanna do good,
never bad.
948
00:39:07,264 --> 00:39:09,967
And even though we yell at each
other sometimes--
949
00:39:09,967 --> 00:39:11,868
well, actually all the time--
950
00:39:11,868 --> 00:39:15,172
we really do love each other.
And Happy Birthday, Jesus.
951
00:39:15,172 --> 00:39:17,174
[Nonno] [snores]
952
00:39:19,242 --> 00:39:20,744
[snores]
953
00:39:20,744 --> 00:39:23,647
-Okay, Son. Let's wrap it up.
-Hold on. One more thing.
954
00:39:23,647 --> 00:39:25,482
And also, God, Jesus
and the Holy Spirit,
955
00:39:25,482 --> 00:39:27,117
please forgive my sister,
Carmella.
956
00:39:27,117 --> 00:39:29,653
She doesn't mean to be evil.
Amen.
957
00:39:29,653 --> 00:39:31,421
-Oh, shut the hell up, Anthony!
-Hey!
958
00:39:31,421 --> 00:39:36,727
[indistinct arguing]
959
00:39:37,561 --> 00:39:38,929
Don't talk to your little
brother like that!
960
00:39:38,929 --> 00:39:40,097
How are we raising a gargoyle?
961
00:39:40,097 --> 00:39:42,399
What the hell is
the matter with her?
962
00:39:42,399 --> 00:39:44,801
With the fork,
Gianna with the fork?
963
00:39:44,801 --> 00:39:46,370
Shut up or I'll stab ya!
964
00:39:46,370 --> 00:39:50,774
All right, good food, good meat,
good gosh, let's eat!
965
00:39:50,774 --> 00:39:52,976
Mangia, mangia.
Mangia, mangia.
966
00:39:52,976 --> 00:39:57,381
Yeah, yeah, Jumanji!
Yeah, Jumanji, yeah! Jumanji.
967
00:39:58,982 --> 00:40:00,717
Who the hell is this guy?
968
00:40:02,519 --> 00:40:03,954
Con-who?
969
00:40:03,954 --> 00:40:06,790
Concieted?
The little one?
970
00:40:06,790 --> 00:40:07,958
I don't like him.
971
00:40:09,627 --> 00:40:12,930
Oh, you smell just like my wife.
972
00:40:16,567 --> 00:40:19,337
Oh, my God.
This food is amazing.
973
00:40:19,337 --> 00:40:20,638
I told you.
974
00:40:20,638 --> 00:40:22,273
It's okay, buddy,
you don't gotta say that.
975
00:40:22,273 --> 00:40:23,975
-That's all right.
-I think it's delicious, sis.
976
00:40:23,975 --> 00:40:25,343
Oh, my God.
What'd she do?
977
00:40:25,343 --> 00:40:26,744
All she did was pay for it.
978
00:40:26,744 --> 00:40:28,646
Oh, thank you so much, Justina.
I'm sorry.
979
00:40:28,646 --> 00:40:30,414
I hope you didn't break a nail
swiping the credit card.
980
00:40:30,414 --> 00:40:31,916
Oh, good. I'll take you off
the family phone plan
981
00:40:31,916 --> 00:40:33,517
next month, huh?
982
00:40:33,517 --> 00:40:37,421
The American Heart Association
says it's good for the ticker
983
00:40:37,421 --> 00:40:40,057
to have one glass of red wine
per hour.
984
00:40:40,057 --> 00:40:42,226
A classy woman leaves a sip.
985
00:40:42,226 --> 00:40:44,762
This wine's delicious.
986
00:40:46,330 --> 00:40:49,300
-So, where'd you get the fish?
-Sabino's, Nonno.
987
00:40:49,300 --> 00:40:51,302
Sabino's? You shoulda went to
Franky Fish's.
988
00:40:51,302 --> 00:40:52,803
He's got the best baccala
in town.
989
00:40:52,803 --> 00:40:54,338
Sabino's a snitch,
you know that.
990
00:40:54,338 --> 00:40:55,773
You gonna whack him,
Uncle Johnny?
991
00:40:55,773 --> 00:40:57,408
Oh!
992
00:40:57,408 --> 00:40:59,176
Whack him?
Who taught you that?
993
00:40:59,176 --> 00:41:00,411
No more Godfather for you.
994
00:41:00,411 --> 00:41:02,713
I'm your father.
You both need God.
995
00:41:02,713 --> 00:41:04,248
That's a good idea, Tone.
I might have to.
996
00:41:04,248 --> 00:41:05,249
I don't know. Maybe.
997
00:41:05,249 --> 00:41:06,384
Tony, who's this kid?
998
00:41:06,384 --> 00:41:07,885
[Tony] That's my son, Nonno.
999
00:41:07,885 --> 00:41:11,188
He looks more like the dollar
store Pauly D down there.
1000
00:41:11,188 --> 00:41:13,257
He's not Joey's?
1001
00:41:13,257 --> 00:41:14,458
Don't give me that look.
1002
00:41:14,458 --> 00:41:15,693
Don't you dare
give me that look.
1003
00:41:15,693 --> 00:41:17,161
What's going on down there?
1004
00:41:17,161 --> 00:41:18,896
Justina, there's a hair
on my food. Joey, button up.
1005
00:41:18,896 --> 00:41:20,965
And if you don't like the fish,
Johnny,
1006
00:41:20,965 --> 00:41:24,168
why don't you have Christmas Eve
dinner at your house next year.
1007
00:41:24,168 --> 00:41:27,505
Oh, I forgot. You still live in
Mom and Dad's basement.
1008
00:41:27,505 --> 00:41:33,611
[indistinct arguing]
1009
00:41:37,248 --> 00:41:38,516
[whistle blowing]
1010
00:41:39,050 --> 00:41:40,985
Okay, obviously, there's a fight
getting ready to brew here.
1011
00:41:40,985 --> 00:41:42,954
So let me lay down a couple of
rules before we get started.
1012
00:41:42,954 --> 00:41:45,556
Okay, fellas, don't put your
hands on the women.
1013
00:41:45,556 --> 00:41:48,326
Ladies, no foul language.
There's obviously kids in here.
1014
00:41:48,326 --> 00:41:51,629
Okay? And remember, you guys are
a family, let's keep it clean.
1015
00:41:51,629 --> 00:41:53,564
It's Christmas Eve.
Johnny. You ready?
1016
00:41:53,564 --> 00:41:55,833
-Yeah.
-Justina, ya ready?
1017
00:41:55,833 --> 00:41:56,867
Damn right.
1018
00:41:56,867 --> 00:41:58,169
Fight!
1019
00:41:58,169 --> 00:42:03,541
[indistinct arguing]
1020
00:42:12,850 --> 00:42:13,985
That's enough!
1021
00:42:15,353 --> 00:42:18,522
It's Jesus's birthday
for Christ's sake.
1022
00:42:18,522 --> 00:42:20,791
They all talk at the same time.
1023
00:42:20,791 --> 00:42:24,095
You have Tony Baloney,
Johnny Salami, Joey Cannoli.
1024
00:42:24,095 --> 00:42:26,230
They probably have a cousin
named Tanya Lasagna.
1025
00:42:26,230 --> 00:42:27,732
They are so loud.
1026
00:42:27,732 --> 00:42:31,736
Conceited,
is the food okay, honey?
1027
00:42:31,736 --> 00:42:35,973
Yes. Yes, ma'am.
"No-nna"? Nonna. Yes, it is.
1028
00:42:35,973 --> 00:42:37,208
It is amazing. Thank you.
1029
00:42:37,208 --> 00:42:40,011
Good, good.
So what do you do?
1030
00:42:40,011 --> 00:42:43,381
Well, I'm actually on the same
show that Justina's on,
1031
00:42:43,381 --> 00:42:46,517
-and I actually have a couple--
-What show?
1032
00:42:46,517 --> 00:42:49,387
And I'm a battle rapper.
1033
00:42:49,387 --> 00:42:52,423
Oh, battle.
Now we're all veterans here.
1034
00:42:52,423 --> 00:42:57,728
Tony, Johnny, Joey, my son.
We all served.
1035
00:42:57,728 --> 00:42:59,597
What unit were you in, son?
1036
00:42:59,597 --> 00:43:00,865
He was in the G-Unit, Nonno.
1037
00:43:00,865 --> 00:43:03,034
Hey, keep your 50 cents
to yourself.
1038
00:43:03,034 --> 00:43:07,238
Phony A over here. Yeah, that's
what unit you were in.
1039
00:43:07,238 --> 00:43:08,706
Where's that stationed?
1040
00:43:08,706 --> 00:43:12,810
A wrapper? Like, you wrapped up
all these gifts?
1041
00:43:12,810 --> 00:43:16,514
Oh, they look beautiful, honey.
1042
00:43:16,514 --> 00:43:18,449
But do you fix?
1043
00:43:18,449 --> 00:43:19,717
Do I fix?
1044
00:43:19,717 --> 00:43:21,152
Unclog a toilet?
Something?
1045
00:43:21,152 --> 00:43:23,487
No, I don't fix toilets
and I don't fix the TV.
1046
00:43:23,487 --> 00:43:26,991
I am on the TV.
I am a TV star.
1047
00:43:26,991 --> 00:43:28,125
I fix ratings.
1048
00:43:28,125 --> 00:43:32,696
Oh, Go on, he's so bright.
He's blinding me.
1049
00:43:32,696 --> 00:43:35,866
Nonna, he--you know,
he's a performer like me,
1050
00:43:35,866 --> 00:43:37,201
a TV personality.
1051
00:43:37,201 --> 00:43:40,638
Who cares about his personality
if he can't fix?
1052
00:43:40,638 --> 00:43:42,640
Oh, no. I mean,
I can probably fix something.
1053
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:46,377
Ha! Can you fix your height?
1054
00:43:46,377 --> 00:43:49,146
I mean, and
and I collect sneakers,
1055
00:43:49,146 --> 00:43:50,614
and I'm a NFT expert.
1056
00:43:50,614 --> 00:43:56,353
NFT? What does that stand for?
Not Fixing Things?
1057
00:43:56,353 --> 00:43:58,989
[laughter]
1058
00:43:58,989 --> 00:44:00,291
Sneakers huh?
1059
00:44:00,291 --> 00:44:02,159
I know a couple of trucks that
could sneak some off of,
1060
00:44:02,159 --> 00:44:03,594
make a little scharole ,
you know what I mean?
1061
00:44:03,594 --> 00:44:04,895
What do you say?
Me and you.
1062
00:44:04,895 --> 00:44:06,397
Please, Johnny,
the only money you ever had
1063
00:44:06,397 --> 00:44:08,032
-was when you managed a Sbarro.
-Oh.
1064
00:44:08,032 --> 00:44:10,835
Tony, don't be ridiculous.
It was a Domino's.
1065
00:44:10,835 --> 00:44:12,803
By the looks of your hair,
I thought it was Olive Garden.
1066
00:44:12,803 --> 00:44:14,438
Oh, really? Yeah,
it's better than Little Caesar
1067
00:44:14,438 --> 00:44:16,240
you got over here, right?
1068
00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:17,842
Little Caesar, the pizza place.
1069
00:44:17,842 --> 00:44:19,577
Your family's outta control.
1070
00:44:19,577 --> 00:44:21,846
Bing bong, from downtown.
1071
00:44:21,846 --> 00:44:23,180
It's good.
1072
00:44:23,180 --> 00:44:24,815
We're not trying to get him
pinched over here, Johnny.
1073
00:44:24,815 --> 00:44:26,517
Besides, you don't need
nothing from a back of a truck.
1074
00:44:26,517 --> 00:44:27,418
-This guy's a legend.
-Hello.
1075
00:44:27,418 --> 00:44:28,752
A legend?
1076
00:44:28,752 --> 00:44:30,187
Dinner with a legend.
You hear that kids?
1077
00:44:30,187 --> 00:44:31,789
That a little generous Joe.
Legend. Little generous.
1078
00:44:31,789 --> 00:44:33,090
Oh, my God.
I really hate this family.
1079
00:44:33,090 --> 00:44:34,492
What, do you guys
live on another planet?
1080
00:44:34,492 --> 00:44:40,598
[indistinct arguing]
1081
00:44:42,566 --> 00:44:44,568
More antipasti,
less anti-Christ.
1082
00:44:44,568 --> 00:44:46,904
I'll take a refill.
1083
00:44:46,904 --> 00:44:48,205
Fill'er up.
1084
00:44:48,205 --> 00:44:49,740
[Buddy] Absolutely, sir.
1085
00:44:49,740 --> 00:44:51,642
Give me another kiss.
1086
00:44:51,642 --> 00:44:53,911
[Buddy] It would be an honor,
sir.
1087
00:44:54,445 --> 00:44:56,280
He kisses better than you.
1088
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,682
Oh,
1089
00:44:58,682 --> 00:45:01,418
feel free to slap me harder
after dessert, sir.
1090
00:45:01,418 --> 00:45:03,020
Let's put on a little Frankie.
1091
00:45:03,020 --> 00:45:05,289
It's never a bad time
for Frankie.
1092
00:45:05,289 --> 00:45:07,725
It's always a good time
for some Frankie, yeah?
1093
00:45:07,725 --> 00:45:10,261
I'm always ready for some
Frankie, honey, that's right.
1094
00:45:10,261 --> 00:45:11,795
Now, that's a real man.
1095
00:45:11,795 --> 00:45:15,666
I shoulda gave Frankie some
hanky panky when he wanted.
1096
00:45:15,666 --> 00:45:18,469
♪ Never cared about Christmas ♪
1097
00:45:18,469 --> 00:45:19,870
Speaking of blue eyes.
1098
00:45:19,870 --> 00:45:22,606
Oh, okay.
I see what you did right there.
1099
00:45:23,674 --> 00:45:25,109
This isn't Frankie.
1100
00:45:25,109 --> 00:45:27,111
Lord, I am so sorry
you had to hear this nonsense
1101
00:45:27,111 --> 00:45:28,879
on your birthday.
I would never do this to you.
1102
00:45:28,879 --> 00:45:32,349
Oh, my God.
Is someone strangling cats?
1103
00:45:32,349 --> 00:45:33,851
We can skip this song.
1104
00:45:33,851 --> 00:45:36,120
So, you mean like, cut the beat?
1105
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,723
No, I mean skip the song.
What's a matter with you?
1106
00:45:39,723 --> 00:45:42,026
Nonna, you're still
mad about the song?
1107
00:45:42,026 --> 00:45:44,128
You don't realize
the young people,
1108
00:45:44,128 --> 00:45:47,698
they look up to you, honey,
especially your niece.
1109
00:45:47,698 --> 00:45:49,700
Now she's saying
she doesn't care
1110
00:45:49,700 --> 00:45:52,269
about Christmas anymore either.
1111
00:45:52,269 --> 00:45:54,038
God forbid.
1112
00:45:54,038 --> 00:45:55,839
The song's not even good.
That's the problem.
1113
00:45:55,839 --> 00:45:57,241
The song is not good.
1114
00:45:57,241 --> 00:46:03,147
[indistinct arguing]
1115
00:46:15,793 --> 00:46:21,265
[indistinct arguing]
1116
00:46:21,265 --> 00:46:23,100
I am done with you
yelling at the table!
1117
00:46:23,100 --> 00:46:26,303
I'm yelling at anybody
that needs to be yelled at!
1118
00:46:26,303 --> 00:46:32,209
[indistinct arguing]
1119
00:46:34,945 --> 00:46:36,547
... Son of a bitch!
[doorbell ringing]
1120
00:46:36,547 --> 00:46:40,084
Now, who the hell can that be
in the middle of our dinner?
1121
00:46:40,084 --> 00:46:43,220
Johnny, did you order
some new tart for dessert?
1122
00:46:43,220 --> 00:46:45,222
Save one for grandfather.
1123
00:46:46,757 --> 00:46:49,360
-Give me some more wine.
-Yes, Your Majesty.
1124
00:46:51,228 --> 00:46:54,131
-It's okay, little one.
-Give me a kiss.
1125
00:46:54,131 --> 00:46:55,532
Yes, sir.
1126
00:46:55,532 --> 00:46:59,536
-Take this with you.
-Oh!
1127
00:46:59,536 --> 00:47:01,238
That was the best slap yet, sir.
1128
00:47:03,124 --> 00:47:04,325
Hey, what's up, hello.
1129
00:47:04,325 --> 00:47:05,726
Fetty, what are you doing here?
1130
00:47:05,726 --> 00:47:07,495
I came for the Christmas party.
1131
00:47:07,495 --> 00:47:08,996
I heard this the spot
in Jersey tonight.
1132
00:47:08,996 --> 00:47:10,731
Fetty Wap?
Now, that's a good rapper.
1133
00:47:10,731 --> 00:47:12,466
You already know.
You see the crib.
1134
00:47:12,466 --> 00:47:13,801
Yeah, I see what's going on.
1135
00:47:13,801 --> 00:47:15,169
Yo, little man.
I got something for you, man.
1136
00:47:15,169 --> 00:47:18,239
-What do you say, Tony?
-Thank you, Mr. Wap.
1137
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,141
Oh, Fetty.
1138
00:47:20,141 --> 00:47:21,576
Oh, hey. No, Tone money.
1139
00:47:21,576 --> 00:47:22,977
Tone money, I like that.
1140
00:47:22,977 --> 00:47:24,679
We tryna come and get lit,
you know what I'm saying,
1141
00:47:24,679 --> 00:47:26,247
it's where the party at.
1142
00:47:26,247 --> 00:47:28,583
Well, you know, I was a trap
queen before all this, Fetty.
1143
00:47:28,583 --> 00:47:30,718
Come on in, let's light it up.
1144
00:47:32,186 --> 00:47:34,088
Merry Christmas.
1145
00:47:34,855 --> 00:47:37,592
♪ In love with your money
I ain't ever letting go ♪
1146
00:47:37,592 --> 00:47:39,927
♪ And I get high with my baby ♪
1147
00:47:39,927 --> 00:47:43,798
♪ I just left the mall, I'm
gettin' fly with my baby, yeah ♪
1148
00:47:43,798 --> 00:47:45,199
♪ And I can ride with my baby ♪
1149
00:47:45,199 --> 00:47:47,835
Hey yo, what's good?
Let's turn this party up.
1150
00:47:47,835 --> 00:47:50,938
Ain't nothin' like a
Christmas party in Jersey, man.
1151
00:47:50,938 --> 00:47:53,708
That Fetty Wap,
he's something else.
1152
00:47:53,708 --> 00:47:57,078
I haven't had any WAP
since 1958.
1153
00:47:57,078 --> 00:48:00,414
Her WAP dried out
when JFK was president.
1154
00:48:00,982 --> 00:48:03,084
♪ And I get high with my baby ♪
1155
00:48:03,084 --> 00:48:05,453
♪ I just really wish
you would die, my baby ♪
1156
00:48:05,453 --> 00:48:07,855
♪ Yeah ♪
1157
00:48:08,723 --> 00:48:10,691
♪ Yeah, baby ♪
1158
00:48:10,691 --> 00:48:13,828
♪ Two spaces up
and I might just kiss him ♪
1159
00:48:13,828 --> 00:48:15,229
♪ Gonna ride that face ♪
1160
00:48:15,229 --> 00:48:18,432
♪ Queen frosty --
when I diss 'em ♪
1161
00:48:18,432 --> 00:48:22,003
How about that Fetty Wap,
couldn't keep his hands of me.
1162
00:48:22,003 --> 00:48:25,239
I said, Mr. Fetty Wap,
Fetty Stop.
1163
00:48:25,773 --> 00:48:27,608
♪ Come and taste
You know I'm so sweet ♪
1164
00:48:27,608 --> 00:48:29,844
♪ Bon appetit,
they cannot compete ♪
1165
00:48:29,844 --> 00:48:32,280
♪ Sugar spread
all over these sheets ♪
1166
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,516
I bet your favorite type of
pasta is fettucine alfredo.
1167
00:48:35,516 --> 00:48:36,784
Molto bella!
1168
00:48:36,784 --> 00:48:38,986
♪ Mirror, mirror
on the wall ♪
1169
00:48:38,986 --> 00:48:41,255
♪ Why these hoes
stay on my balls? ♪
1170
00:48:41,255 --> 00:48:43,124
♪ Acting big
when they so small ♪
1171
00:48:43,124 --> 00:48:47,995
♪ Got it all,
I recorded at the Taj Mahal ♪
1172
00:48:47,995 --> 00:48:51,165
Now now, don't be so sad there,
young lady.
1173
00:48:51,165 --> 00:48:54,935
It's Christmas Eve, and I'm sure
Santa has something very special
1174
00:48:54,935 --> 00:48:56,470
planned for you tonight.
1175
00:48:56,470 --> 00:49:00,308
Listen, I'm 12, and I don't
believe in Santa or butlers.
1176
00:49:00,308 --> 00:49:02,276
Well, I believe in you.
1177
00:49:02,276 --> 00:49:05,212
And I got a sneak peek at
your aunt's gifts for you
1178
00:49:05,212 --> 00:49:07,248
and boy, oh, boy.
1179
00:49:07,248 --> 00:49:09,684
What is it? Is it a
Gucci or a Prada bag?
1180
00:49:09,684 --> 00:49:11,719
-Even better.
-[gasps]
1181
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,288
I knew it!
Thanks for the tip.
1182
00:49:14,288 --> 00:49:16,691
Anytime.
1183
00:49:16,691 --> 00:49:19,226
All right. I need everybody to
gather 'round.
1184
00:49:19,226 --> 00:49:22,797
You know I had to save the best
for last, and I got presents
1185
00:49:22,797 --> 00:49:25,733
for my favorite niece
and my favorite nephew.
1186
00:49:25,733 --> 00:49:27,101
-You ready, Tone?
-Yeah.
1187
00:49:27,101 --> 00:49:28,836
Let's go.
1188
00:49:29,770 --> 00:49:31,806
You ready?
1189
00:49:34,709 --> 00:49:37,611
Wow. Uh, very, uh, creative.
1190
00:49:37,611 --> 00:49:39,847
I don't want
your stupid magic doll.
1191
00:49:39,847 --> 00:49:42,383
I wanted a Gucci or Prada bag!
1192
00:49:42,383 --> 00:49:43,751
Carmella!
1193
00:49:43,751 --> 00:49:45,219
Who does she get this from?
1194
00:49:45,219 --> 00:49:47,121
Where do you think she gets it?
She looks up to you.
1195
00:49:47,121 --> 00:49:48,789
You're the Godmother. Get your
stuff. We're outta here.
1196
00:49:48,789 --> 00:49:50,291
So rude. Don't listen to her,
she got problems.
1197
00:49:50,291 --> 00:49:51,492
Shut the hell up!
1198
00:49:51,492 --> 00:49:53,127
Oh!
1199
00:49:53,127 --> 00:49:55,963
Now! Out the door!
Go!
1200
00:49:55,963 --> 00:49:58,499
Good, I wanted to leave
this stupid party anyway.
1201
00:49:58,499 --> 00:50:00,668
She's outta control. I was bad,
but I was never that bad.
1202
00:50:00,668 --> 00:50:01,936
Just so you know,
1203
00:50:01,936 --> 00:50:03,838
that was the worst gift
I ever got!
1204
00:50:03,838 --> 00:50:06,040
Out the door!
1205
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:10,878
Aight everybody, it's been a
very Valentine Chritmas Eve.
1206
00:50:10,878 --> 00:50:12,646
You ain't gotta go home,
1207
00:50:12,646 --> 00:50:14,615
but you gotta get
the hell outta here.
1208
00:50:14,615 --> 00:50:17,218
[Justina] Me and Conceited
was snug as some bugs.
1209
00:50:17,218 --> 00:50:20,121
Drank too much eggnog
and passed out on the rug.
1210
00:50:20,121 --> 00:50:23,157
The family was gone.
Nobody was there.
1211
00:50:23,157 --> 00:50:26,694
The butler picked up the elf
and placed her with care.
1212
00:50:26,694 --> 00:50:28,095
[clock chimes]
1213
00:50:28,095 --> 00:50:32,867
[music]
1214
00:50:35,736 --> 00:50:39,373
Wake up!
It's time.
1215
00:50:39,373 --> 00:50:41,542
I'm up, I'm up!
What is wrong with you?
1216
00:50:41,542 --> 00:50:45,012
Shh, they're right there.
1217
00:50:45,012 --> 00:50:47,248
-Who?
-Them.
1218
00:50:47,248 --> 00:50:48,549
Oh, they're huge.
1219
00:50:48,549 --> 00:50:50,751
Anyone is huge compared to you.
1220
00:50:50,751 --> 00:50:52,486
Whoa, whoa, let me stop you
right there, JV.
1221
00:50:52,486 --> 00:50:55,289
I am pocket-size perfection.
All right? And I'm mad at you
1222
00:50:55,289 --> 00:50:57,958
because I just had these Elf
Force One's magically cleaned.
1223
00:50:57,958 --> 00:50:59,627
Well, tighten up,
Elfish Freshly.
1224
00:50:59,627 --> 00:51:01,228
I need you to focus.
1225
00:51:01,228 --> 00:51:03,497
He's gonna be here
any minute.
1226
00:51:03,497 --> 00:51:04,765
[thump, whoosh]
1227
00:51:04,765 --> 00:51:06,634
It's time.
We got to get her in the sleigh.
1228
00:51:06,634 --> 00:51:08,102
Wait, just her by herself?
1229
00:51:08,102 --> 00:51:10,838
Are you dumb? Turn your
Santafications on, you bird.
1230
00:51:10,838 --> 00:51:12,473
Beat you to the sleigh.
1231
00:51:12,473 --> 00:51:16,544
[music]
1232
00:51:17,778 --> 00:51:19,580
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
1233
00:51:19,580 --> 00:51:22,116
And merry Christmas, Justina!
1234
00:51:22,116 --> 00:51:26,120
Tonio?
Santa, the new gig?
1235
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,522
It's so great to see you again
so soon.
1236
00:51:28,522 --> 00:51:31,559
I wish I can say the same thing
about you, Justina.
1237
00:51:31,559 --> 00:51:33,594
I know your heart's in the right
place, but between
1238
00:51:33,594 --> 00:51:36,564
this anti-Christmas song
and your niece Carmella,
1239
00:51:36,564 --> 00:51:40,201
there's so much work to do
in such little time.
1240
00:51:40,201 --> 00:51:42,102
Plus, Santa's got
a club booking to get to.
1241
00:51:42,102 --> 00:51:44,271
I didn't even think of this song
as anti-Christmas.
1242
00:51:44,271 --> 00:51:46,207
I understand.
But the good thing is,
1243
00:51:46,207 --> 00:51:47,842
it's never too late
to do the right thing.
1244
00:51:47,842 --> 00:51:49,210
That's a fact.
1245
00:51:49,210 --> 00:51:51,679
So without getting all
santamental,
1246
00:51:51,679 --> 00:51:54,615
just tell me what I need to do
to get back on the nice lists.
1247
00:51:54,615 --> 00:51:57,952
-Naughty, naughty, naughty.
-Mind your business CON1,
1248
00:51:57,952 --> 00:51:59,753
The boss is talking.
1249
00:51:59,753 --> 00:52:01,922
You're not a made man,
you're man made.
1250
00:52:01,922 --> 00:52:03,924
Now, now,
everyone get buckled in.
1251
00:52:03,924 --> 00:52:05,559
I've got an appearance
to get to.
1252
00:52:05,559 --> 00:52:06,894
No show. No dough.
1253
00:52:06,894 --> 00:52:08,896
Here's the deal.
We're headed to Carmella's
1254
00:52:08,896 --> 00:52:11,165
since she wanted to
commit elf abuse.
1255
00:52:11,165 --> 00:52:14,001
I mean, I'm still a bit sore.
1256
00:52:14,001 --> 00:52:16,303
Does your face hurt?
'Cause it's killing me.
1257
00:52:19,406 --> 00:52:21,809
I just knew
I was gonna like you.
1258
00:52:21,809 --> 00:52:23,210
Likewise.
1259
00:52:23,210 --> 00:52:26,180
What the elf
have you been eatin'?
1260
00:52:26,180 --> 00:52:27,281
Yah!
1261
00:52:30,251 --> 00:52:31,886
Ho, ho, ho, ho,
ho, ho, ho, ho!
1262
00:52:31,886 --> 00:52:33,554
That was sick.
1263
00:52:33,554 --> 00:52:35,489
Ha, this elf here.
1264
00:52:36,323 --> 00:52:39,360
[unintelligible]
1265
00:52:40,661 --> 00:52:42,730
Let me handle this for you.
1266
00:52:42,930 --> 00:52:45,099
I'm the better elf, Santa.
1267
00:52:45,699 --> 00:52:47,668
What are you doin'?
Let me go!
1268
00:52:47,668 --> 00:52:49,203
What the bell is wrong with you?
1269
00:52:49,203 --> 00:52:51,205
How do you like me now, CON1?
1270
00:52:51,205 --> 00:52:55,109
Put me down!
Scrooge McJust!
1271
00:52:55,109 --> 00:52:56,644
-All right, that's enough.
-All right.
1272
00:52:56,644 --> 00:53:00,414
-You ready, you bird?
-Yeah, I am, you Grinch.
1273
00:53:00,414 --> 00:53:03,017
You see, that's exactly what
Santa be talking about.
1274
00:53:05,486 --> 00:53:06,687
Santa.
1275
00:53:06,687 --> 00:53:08,088
I cannot believe you're mad
about my song too.
1276
00:53:08,088 --> 00:53:10,658
You didn't say very nice things
about Santa.
1277
00:53:10,658 --> 00:53:12,793
Oh, yeah. Santa's got receipts.
1278
00:53:12,793 --> 00:53:15,129
-Petty!
-Petty? Hm!
1279
00:53:15,129 --> 00:53:18,365
"Always looked at Kris Kringle
as just another creepy guy."
1280
00:53:19,833 --> 00:53:21,001
Hey!
1281
00:53:21,001 --> 00:53:24,371
Hey, where are you going?
1282
00:53:25,739 --> 00:53:28,842
"What's Santa to a Scrooge?"
[grunts]
1283
00:53:28,842 --> 00:53:30,411
It hurts my corazón .
1284
00:53:30,411 --> 00:53:31,912
Are you sure it's not just
high blood pressure?
1285
00:53:31,912 --> 00:53:33,681
You have packed on some pounds.
1286
00:53:33,681 --> 00:53:35,916
Psst, little Tony!
1287
00:53:35,916 --> 00:53:38,185
Wake--wake up!
1288
00:53:39,386 --> 00:53:41,956
Words, especially
from someone like you,
1289
00:53:41,956 --> 00:53:44,425
mean so much more
than you realize.
1290
00:53:44,425 --> 00:53:45,960
[farts]
1291
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:48,429
-Ugh...
-Santa!
1292
00:53:48,429 --> 00:53:50,631
-It's the wife's empanadas.
-[coughs]
1293
00:53:50,631 --> 00:53:52,499
I wasn't that bad this year.
1294
00:53:56,370 --> 00:54:00,708
Merry Christmas, Carmella.
I'm JV1, your magical elf.
1295
00:54:00,708 --> 00:54:02,776
What?
1296
00:54:03,444 --> 00:54:05,479
Santa, I feel terrible,
but I need to know
1297
00:54:05,479 --> 00:54:08,349
how this shorty can get off
the list that's naughty,
1298
00:54:08,349 --> 00:54:10,184
because I just know
you got some presents back there
1299
00:54:10,184 --> 00:54:11,385
with my name on 'em.
1300
00:54:11,385 --> 00:54:13,821
Let's start with your niece,
Carmella.
1301
00:54:13,821 --> 00:54:15,756
Whoa.
1302
00:54:15,756 --> 00:54:18,559
Aunt Justina!
1303
00:54:18,559 --> 00:54:19,960
What's going on?
1304
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:21,428
I told you the elf was magic.
1305
00:54:21,428 --> 00:54:24,365
-Merry Christmas, Carmella.
-Hi.
1306
00:54:27,267 --> 00:54:29,336
I guess it pays to be
on the naughty list.
1307
00:54:29,336 --> 00:54:30,537
Yeah.
1308
00:54:30,537 --> 00:54:33,207
-Lessons will be learned.
-I love lessons. Yeah.
1309
00:54:33,207 --> 00:54:35,109
We're here for lessons.
1310
00:54:37,211 --> 00:54:39,346
Oh, wow, that was awesome.
1311
00:54:39,346 --> 00:54:42,082
-Aunt Justina!
-Tony!
1312
00:54:42,082 --> 00:54:44,084
-Santa!
-Hey, why does he have to come?
1313
00:54:44,084 --> 00:54:46,353
-That's really not fair.
-Now now, Lil' Tony,
1314
00:54:46,353 --> 00:54:48,155
you're actually at
the top of my nice list.
1315
00:54:48,155 --> 00:54:49,957
-You can stay.
-Yes!
1316
00:54:49,957 --> 00:54:52,760
CON1, no more surprises.
1317
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,596
Yeah, I hate surprises.
1318
00:54:55,596 --> 00:54:58,932
Loathe, entirely.
1319
00:54:58,932 --> 00:55:00,034
Vamanos!
1320
00:55:01,368 --> 00:55:04,738
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
1321
00:55:04,738 --> 00:55:06,273
What does this button do?
1322
00:55:06,273 --> 00:55:08,642
Do not touch the button!
1323
00:55:08,642 --> 00:55:10,310
Okay.
1324
00:55:11,145 --> 00:55:13,914
Touch the button!
1325
00:55:13,914 --> 00:55:18,652
[music]
1326
00:55:22,289 --> 00:55:23,791
All right. Is everyone ready?
1327
00:55:23,791 --> 00:55:24,958
I was born ready, Santa.
1328
00:55:24,958 --> 00:55:27,094
Thatta boy.
1329
00:55:30,631 --> 00:55:33,233
[Santa & Justina]
Anthony's first Christmas Eve.
1330
00:55:33,233 --> 00:55:34,668
I remember this Christmas.
1331
00:55:34,668 --> 00:55:36,670
I remember thinking
it was the best Christmas ever
1332
00:55:36,670 --> 00:55:38,806
because I finally got
a baby brother.
1333
00:55:38,806 --> 00:55:40,908
I don't think you've ever been
this nice to me since then.
1334
00:55:40,908 --> 00:55:43,510
I'm nice to you!
1335
00:55:43,510 --> 00:55:44,645
Sometimes.
1336
00:55:44,645 --> 00:55:46,013
Carmella, mi amore,
1337
00:55:46,013 --> 00:55:48,515
I wanted you to remember the
feeling of joy and gratitude
1338
00:55:48,515 --> 00:55:51,652
you had for your brother
that year.
1339
00:55:51,652 --> 00:55:53,754
[Justina] That was a
really great Christmas.
1340
00:55:53,754 --> 00:55:56,290
And it was really nice then
because you weren't famous yet,
1341
00:55:56,290 --> 00:55:58,092
and you still made time
to play with us.
1342
00:55:58,092 --> 00:55:59,660
You know, you're right, Carm.
1343
00:55:59,660 --> 00:56:01,995
I do need to make more time
for you guys.
1344
00:56:01,995 --> 00:56:03,497
And it's not that
I don't want to.
1345
00:56:03,497 --> 00:56:06,066
It's just time goes by so fast.
1346
00:56:06,066 --> 00:56:07,434
You ain't kiddin', Aunt Justina.
1347
00:56:07,434 --> 00:56:08,936
Just yesterday,
I was in third grade.
1348
00:56:08,936 --> 00:56:11,071
Then boom, fourth grade.
1349
00:56:11,071 --> 00:56:13,407
Well, I hate to interrupt this
merry moment,
1350
00:56:13,407 --> 00:56:15,976
but time is just about to
expire here in the verse
1351
00:56:15,976 --> 00:56:18,712
in three, two, one.
1352
00:56:20,848 --> 00:56:22,516
Wow, that never gets old.
1353
00:56:22,516 --> 00:56:25,319
You never get old,
get over here you.
1354
00:56:25,319 --> 00:56:26,854
[Santa] Carmella, the lessons
of Christmas past
1355
00:56:26,854 --> 00:56:30,090
are gratitude and balance.
Both you and your aunt Justina
1356
00:56:30,090 --> 00:56:32,226
need to work on these things.
1357
00:56:32,226 --> 00:56:35,262
You don't think I'm grateful,
Santa? That's coal.
1358
00:56:35,262 --> 00:56:36,697
You get it, coal?
1359
00:56:36,697 --> 00:56:38,365
Yeah, and that's all you're
getting this year.
1360
00:56:38,365 --> 00:56:41,301
Sorry, Nat Queen Coal.
Ow!
1361
00:56:41,301 --> 00:56:42,569
[Justina] Keep it up, CON1,
1362
00:56:42,569 --> 00:56:45,439
and you're gonna
need a candy cane to walk.
1363
00:56:45,439 --> 00:56:47,574
Don't we gotta get going to the
present now, Santa?
1364
00:56:47,574 --> 00:56:49,510
[All] Yah!
1365
00:56:49,510 --> 00:56:52,246
[music]
1366
00:56:52,246 --> 00:56:55,516
[screaming]
1367
00:56:55,516 --> 00:56:56,884
We're clear.
1368
00:56:56,884 --> 00:56:58,385
Welcome to the present.
1369
00:57:00,587 --> 00:57:03,590
♪ Never cared about Christmas ♪
1370
00:57:03,590 --> 00:57:06,126
♪ I'd rather it was July ♪
1371
00:57:06,126 --> 00:57:07,861
Hey, what's the matter with you?
1372
00:57:07,861 --> 00:57:10,164
Anthony, can you move?
We're filming here!
1373
00:57:10,164 --> 00:57:12,299
Oh man.
You beheaded my wise man.
1374
00:57:12,299 --> 00:57:14,802
You know this is all
a bunch of crap, right?
1375
00:57:14,802 --> 00:57:16,103
Disgraziato.
1376
00:57:16,103 --> 00:57:18,105
Carm, are you gonna
get this kid out of here
1377
00:57:18,105 --> 00:57:19,573
so we can catch this
1378
00:57:19,573 --> 00:57:22,743
Never Cared about Christmas
trend or what?
1379
00:57:22,743 --> 00:57:25,479
You hate Christmas and think
it's a made-up holiday,
1380
00:57:25,479 --> 00:57:28,916
but need me to move away
from our Christmas tree
1381
00:57:28,916 --> 00:57:30,417
for your video chat?
1382
00:57:30,417 --> 00:57:32,586
If that ain't labbats ,
I don't know what is.
1383
00:57:32,586 --> 00:57:34,388
-I said to move, Anthony!
-No!
1384
00:57:34,388 --> 00:57:35,889
I said to move!
1385
00:57:35,889 --> 00:57:37,491
[Tony] Hey, what are you doing?
Carmella, get your hands
1386
00:57:37,491 --> 00:57:39,560
off your brother.
How dare you do that.
1387
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:42,362
I wasn't even doing anything.
He wouldn't move!
1388
00:57:42,362 --> 00:57:44,097
Okay, girls, get your things.
I'm taking you home.
1389
00:57:44,097 --> 00:57:45,666
-Come on.
-No, that's not fair.
1390
00:57:45,666 --> 00:57:47,234
You were messing up
the post anyways.
1391
00:57:47,234 --> 00:57:48,969
It's better you aren't in it.
1392
00:57:48,969 --> 00:57:50,370
Ugh!
1393
00:57:55,209 --> 00:57:58,545
Hey, I'm really,
really sorry, Anthony.
1394
00:57:58,545 --> 00:58:00,781
I was wrong to ever
treat you that way.
1395
00:58:00,781 --> 00:58:03,283
And, Santa, I want to be
on the nice list again.
1396
00:58:03,283 --> 00:58:05,085
I'm really, really sorry.
1397
00:58:05,085 --> 00:58:06,420
That's the thing
about the present.
1398
00:58:06,420 --> 00:58:07,888
It quickly becomes the past,
1399
00:58:07,888 --> 00:58:10,524
and the past is meant
to be left behind.
1400
00:58:10,524 --> 00:58:13,460
My sister likes me again.
My Aunt Justina's back.
1401
00:58:13,460 --> 00:58:16,196
This is the best Christmas ever.
1402
00:58:16,196 --> 00:58:20,067
And imagine, Anthony,
the best is yet to come.
1403
00:58:20,334 --> 00:58:23,904
[Both] Uno, dos, tres, yah!
1404
00:58:29,309 --> 00:58:34,281
[music]
1405
00:58:38,785 --> 00:58:41,955
Wow, I've never seen
anything like it.
1406
00:58:41,955 --> 00:58:45,392
What's poppin' y'all?
It's your girl JV33.
1407
00:58:45,392 --> 00:58:47,561
Welcome to the
Land of the Ice Castles.
1408
00:58:47,561 --> 00:58:49,529
Get ready to go into the future.
1409
00:58:49,529 --> 00:58:52,933
Aunt Justina, can I go with JV33
to check out the Ice Castles?
1410
00:58:52,933 --> 00:58:54,334
She seems trustworthy,
1411
00:58:54,334 --> 00:58:57,371
but if one hair on his head
is out of place,
1412
00:58:57,371 --> 00:58:59,606
I'll take the batteries
out of all your backs.
1413
00:58:59,606 --> 00:59:01,575
My legs could use a stretch.
1414
00:59:01,575 --> 00:59:04,945
He could also use a bathroom.
[farts]
1415
00:59:04,945 --> 00:59:06,380
Oh!
1416
00:59:06,380 --> 00:59:08,415
Tony! Tony!
1417
00:59:10,726 --> 00:59:12,495
Ho, ho, ho, ho,
ho, ho, ho, ho.
1418
00:59:19,435 --> 00:59:21,771
All right, ready?
1419
00:59:26,142 --> 00:59:28,277
Here, let me put it on.
1420
00:59:29,578 --> 00:59:31,514
Carmella.
1421
00:59:36,085 --> 00:59:37,787
Carmella, I--
1422
00:59:41,190 --> 00:59:42,558
I love it.
1423
00:59:42,558 --> 00:59:44,360
It's Saint Anthony.
Your name saint.
1424
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:47,096
And look, I've got one, too.
1425
00:59:47,096 --> 00:59:49,131
This is amazing.
1426
00:59:49,131 --> 00:59:50,866
Come here.
1427
00:59:53,669 --> 00:59:55,638
This is the best Christmas ever.
1428
01:00:05,748 --> 01:00:09,185
-Sheesh.
-There you go, kiddo.
1429
01:00:09,485 --> 01:00:11,554
Santa's got some shmoney, huh?
1430
01:00:11,554 --> 01:00:14,290
Wow. This is gonna be so epic.
1431
01:00:14,290 --> 01:00:15,958
Handmade by the elves
themselves.
1432
01:00:15,958 --> 01:00:18,928
From the freshest ice
you can't find anywhere else.
1433
01:00:18,928 --> 01:00:21,230
♪ And we went to the castles
and saw some ice ♪
1434
01:00:21,230 --> 01:00:24,300
♪ All the fresh fallen snow
and it shines so bright ♪
1435
01:00:24,300 --> 01:00:26,235
♪ Never before did I see
such a sight ♪
1436
01:00:26,235 --> 01:00:28,037
♪ The sparkles, the colors
What a special Christmas night ♪
1437
01:00:28,037 --> 01:00:31,107
♪ Yeah, we got to wrap it up
It's been one hell of the time ♪
1438
01:00:31,107 --> 01:00:34,176
♪ But I never met a verse
that was realer than mine ♪
1439
01:00:34,176 --> 01:00:35,411
Hoo-hoo!
1440
01:00:35,411 --> 01:00:37,813
[Santa] And...
[All] Yah!
1441
01:00:38,781 --> 01:00:41,550
Ho, ho, ho...
1442
01:00:41,550 --> 01:00:45,988
Woo-hoo!
Woo-hoo!
1443
01:00:45,988 --> 01:00:48,124
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
1444
01:00:48,124 --> 01:00:54,063
[music]
1445
01:01:02,805 --> 01:01:05,708
It's Christmas!
Good morning!
1446
01:01:05,708 --> 01:01:07,410
Justina, wake up,
it's Christmas.
1447
01:01:07,410 --> 01:01:08,744
It is Christmas!
1448
01:01:08,744 --> 01:01:11,947
And you, magic at midnight, huh?
1449
01:01:11,947 --> 01:01:13,115
What a ripoff.
1450
01:01:13,115 --> 01:01:15,518
Con, what would you know
about magic at midnight?
1451
01:01:15,518 --> 01:01:16,986
And what did you think
was gonna happen?
1452
01:01:16,986 --> 01:01:18,554
They were gonna
come alive and bring us to
1453
01:01:18,554 --> 01:01:21,290
a magical metaverse?
Grow up.
1454
01:01:21,290 --> 01:01:22,892
Yeah, I actually did think that.
1455
01:01:22,892 --> 01:01:24,960
Is there anything wrong with
having Christmas spirit
1456
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:27,263
to actually think that--
1457
01:01:27,263 --> 01:01:28,864
When did you get
in your pajamas?
1458
01:01:28,864 --> 01:01:31,767
When you passed out from
drinking too much eggnog, dummy.
1459
01:01:31,767 --> 01:01:34,370
I burped you and put you to bed.
1460
01:01:34,370 --> 01:01:36,338
What a crazy night, though, huh?
1461
01:01:36,338 --> 01:01:38,808
And a crazy family.
1462
01:01:39,375 --> 01:01:40,776
Let's get into some gifts,
1463
01:01:40,776 --> 01:01:43,045
because that's what I really
came here for anyway.
1464
01:01:43,045 --> 01:01:44,647
Childish.
1465
01:01:44,647 --> 01:01:46,515
Justina. You do know the best
thing about this Christmas
1466
01:01:46,515 --> 01:01:47,450
is your presents.
1467
01:01:47,450 --> 01:01:49,051
Damn, greedy.
1468
01:01:49,051 --> 01:01:52,855
No, not. Not your presents.
Your presence.
1469
01:01:52,855 --> 01:01:54,490
Oh, period.
1470
01:01:54,490 --> 01:01:56,692
Look, honestly, I don't care
what's under the tree.
1471
01:01:56,692 --> 01:01:59,361
It doesn't matter,
'cause the best gift
1472
01:01:59,361 --> 01:02:01,664
is here with me right now.
1473
01:02:01,664 --> 01:02:04,233
You do know this is
the first time we've been alone
1474
01:02:04,233 --> 01:02:05,267
since I got here.
1475
01:02:05,267 --> 01:02:07,303
Clearly.
1476
01:02:07,303 --> 01:02:11,540
[music]
1477
01:02:11,540 --> 01:02:13,509
What's poppin' fam?
Ha ha!
1478
01:02:13,509 --> 01:02:16,345
Oh, no!
1479
01:02:16,345 --> 01:02:17,480
Nick?
1480
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:19,048
Whoo, merry Christmas, everyone.
1481
01:02:19,048 --> 01:02:21,750
Look what Santa brought me--
my own hologram machine.
1482
01:02:21,750 --> 01:02:24,487
I can go anywhere I want,
whenever I want.
1483
01:02:24,487 --> 01:02:26,689
So why didn't you want
to go home instead?
1484
01:02:26,689 --> 01:02:29,024
You can't get this one pregnant,
Nick. Not this one.
1485
01:02:29,024 --> 01:02:29,959
Whatever.
1486
01:02:29,959 --> 01:02:31,393
What's up, Nick?
I love this view.
1487
01:02:31,393 --> 01:02:33,062
Merry Christmas.
1488
01:02:33,062 --> 01:02:34,330
[canned laughter]
1489
01:02:34,330 --> 01:02:35,998
My man, yo.
Where is that coming from?
1490
01:02:35,998 --> 01:02:37,032
What you mean?
1491
01:02:37,032 --> 01:02:38,934
That's my studio audience.
My family.
1492
01:02:38,934 --> 01:02:40,169
And you know what?
It's Christmas,
1493
01:02:40,169 --> 01:02:41,470
so I wanted to take them
1494
01:02:41,470 --> 01:02:43,639
into the homes of people
I love and care about.
1495
01:02:43,639 --> 01:02:46,876
Oh, merry Christmas y'all,
what's popping?
1496
01:02:46,876 --> 01:02:47,843
What's good?
1497
01:02:47,843 --> 01:02:49,512
[phone ringing]
What's up, bro?
1498
01:02:49,512 --> 01:02:52,014
Hey! Merry Christmas, Justina.
1499
01:02:52,014 --> 01:02:54,316
I cannot believe
what you did to these kids.
1500
01:02:54,316 --> 01:02:55,417
What, are you, insane?
1501
01:02:55,417 --> 01:02:56,919
Ah, don't worry about it.
1502
01:02:56,919 --> 01:02:58,954
You woulda thought
I had Santa himself to help me.
1503
01:02:58,954 --> 01:03:01,190
I almost cried.
I don't cry, but I almost cried.
1504
01:03:01,190 --> 01:03:02,491
Aunt Justina, Aunt Justina.
1505
01:03:02,491 --> 01:03:04,293
Look, now I got ice
just like you.
1506
01:03:04,293 --> 01:03:06,328
Wow, that's so sharp, Tony.
1507
01:03:06,328 --> 01:03:08,197
Who's that? Is that Nick?
Nicholas!
1508
01:03:08,197 --> 01:03:09,265
What's poppin'?
1509
01:03:09,265 --> 01:03:10,566
-Hi.
-Okay.
1510
01:03:10,566 --> 01:03:12,034
Merry Christmas, Nick.
1511
01:03:12,034 --> 01:03:15,337
Ang, Ang, you're too loud
and you're too close, all right?
1512
01:03:15,337 --> 01:03:17,006
Nick, take 'em. Please.
1513
01:03:17,006 --> 01:03:19,408
Honestly, take her off my hands.
And Justina, thank you again.
1514
01:03:19,408 --> 01:03:20,776
Love you.
1515
01:03:20,776 --> 01:03:22,945
I love you, too,
Ciao.
1516
01:03:22,945 --> 01:03:25,214
Yo, Justina, you know what this
moment needs?
1517
01:03:25,214 --> 01:03:26,949
-What?
-A holiday rap up.
1518
01:03:26,949 --> 01:03:28,250
That's a fact.
1519
01:03:28,250 --> 01:03:30,219
You know what? It's Christmas,
so I'll start it off.
1520
01:03:30,219 --> 01:03:33,322
Slow it down.
I just gift you.
1521
01:03:33,322 --> 01:03:36,358
♪ I like that, coming from the
wild style queen and the king ♪
1522
01:03:36,358 --> 01:03:37,693
♪ We some savages ♪
1523
01:03:37,693 --> 01:03:38,961
♪ I'm trying to see
if good things ♪
1524
01:03:38,961 --> 01:03:40,596
♪ Do come in small packages ♪
1525
01:03:40,596 --> 01:03:43,132
♪ The present is a gift
appreciated every day ♪
1526
01:03:43,132 --> 01:03:45,901
♪ It's time to make it reindeer
because that came to sleigh ♪
1527
01:03:45,901 --> 01:03:47,970
♪ And you know what they say,
'tis the season ♪
1528
01:03:47,970 --> 01:03:49,805
♪ No matter what they tell me ♪
1529
01:03:49,805 --> 01:03:51,507
♪ Con so small
when he take pictures ♪
1530
01:03:51,507 --> 01:03:53,208
♪ They call it a "Elfie" ♪
1531
01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:55,311
♪ Nah, Nick. That's wrong.
Don't try to spit with me ♪
1532
01:03:55,311 --> 01:03:58,213
♪ Before I light you up
like a Christmas tree ♪
1533
01:03:58,213 --> 01:04:00,983
♪ We don't toy around,
so go and pack it up ♪
1534
01:04:00,983 --> 01:04:02,885
♪ It's time to do
what Nick never does ♪
1535
01:04:02,885 --> 01:04:05,487
♪ And that's wrap it up,
because when I do it, yeah ♪
1536
01:04:05,487 --> 01:04:06,922
♪ I do it one time ♪
1537
01:04:06,922 --> 01:04:08,290
♪ Conceited, Nick Cannon ♪
1538
01:04:08,290 --> 01:04:10,659
♪ Your girl Justina Valentine ♪
1539
01:04:10,659 --> 01:04:12,461
♪ Merry Christmas, everybody ♪
1540
01:04:12,461 --> 01:04:13,696
♪ Buon Natale ♪
1541
01:04:14,972 --> 01:04:15,706
There's still time,
you wanna kiss?
1542
01:04:15,706 --> 01:04:16,974
Wait, a time for a kiss?
1543
01:04:16,974 --> 01:04:19,543
I mean...
1544
01:04:19,543 --> 01:04:21,178
Yeah. Come here.
1545
01:04:26,984 --> 01:04:29,253
Ha! Did you get that?
Did you get that?
1546
01:04:29,253 --> 01:04:32,356
I finally got my Christmas kiss,
my Christmas wish.
1547
01:04:32,356 --> 01:04:33,724
Mwah, I want another one.
1548
01:04:33,724 --> 01:04:35,559
They got that. Send me that clip
so I could just
1549
01:04:35,559 --> 01:04:38,696
post that on my Instagram
and it go everywhere.
1550
01:04:38,696 --> 01:04:40,798
Nobody.
Please tell me you got that.
1551
01:04:40,798 --> 01:04:42,466
No. Why? Why you look.
No, no.
1552
01:04:42,466 --> 01:04:43,767
-You guys didn't get it?
-No, please tell me
1553
01:04:43,767 --> 01:04:45,102
you got that.
You-- So you--
1554
01:04:45,102 --> 01:04:46,971
You get it?
I swear I kissed her.
1555
01:04:46,971 --> 01:04:48,606
Nobody's gonna believe me.
We need to get that.
1556
01:04:48,606 --> 01:04:50,641
Give me a kiss, please.
1557
01:04:50,641 --> 01:04:52,943
You know what, Con?
There's always next Christmas.
1558
01:04:52,943 --> 01:04:54,311
No!
1559
01:04:54,311 --> 01:04:56,514
♪ How can I fuhgeddabout
How can I fuhgeddabout ♪
1560
01:04:56,514 --> 01:04:58,282
♪ Christmas ♪
1561
01:04:59,451 --> 01:05:01,920
[music]
1562
01:05:29,214 --> 01:05:31,116
[music]