of Have You
of Have You Been
(SINGS OFF-KEY NOTE)
Arrgh!
Oh!
Yes!
Oh!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster.
I'm Tom Gleeson, and once a week I disrobe my cloak,
descend from my lair and loudly squawk...
(SQUAWKS)
..upon which a team of minions assemble around me
and we make a ripsnorter of a TV show.
And when does that weekly time arrive?
That time is now. (SQUAWKS)
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Competing for my affection are five comedians
I've been nourishing with grains and nuts
chewed in my own mouth and spat into theirs.
They are Anne Edmonds,
Jenny Tian,
Josh Thomas,
Lloyd Langford
and Wil Anderson.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And next to me, the man who went to Questacon for schoolies.
It's Tom Cashman.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
What's our prize task, please?
Our prize task tonight, an object they should adapt into a movie.
Alright, why not give the multi-billion-dollar
streaming industry a few freebies?
Josh, what have you brought in?
I brought in this little duck.
Um, a boy that came to my show
gave it to the sound technician to give to me.
I don't really know why he thought I wanted the little duck,
but I thought it was really sweet that he gave me the little duck.
And I just thought he'd be really excited right now
to see his little duck on the telly.
It's not an exact reaction to the prompt,
but you sort of...it's filmic.
OK. You're essentially wanting to make a film about a tiny duck
just because you forgot to say thanks.
This is for one person, this bit.
It's for one person.
I've made one person's day, and I feel OK about it.
I agree with Josh, I think that that could carry a film.
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah. It's a shame it didn't carry this segment more.
(LAUGHTER)
Uh, Lloyd, what did you bring in?
I have brought in a bedside table.
(SCATTERED LAUGHTER)
That's not it.
A bedside table built by Jesus Christ.
(LAUGHTER)
I have it on good authority
that before he got mixed up in all that other stuff,
he made this table.
And, so, I thought you could follow...
Like, you'd start off with Jesus -
you know, young Jesus, teen Jesus, um...
Teen Jesus? Teen Jesus, yeah.
Making the table,
and then you'd follow the table from 2,000 years ago
through all the different owners and their lives as well.
(LAUGHTER)
It's just a bit tough because Jesus made the table,
and that feels like a real big peak.
And then what?
(LAUGHTER)
Just a minute, like, that's the opening scene,
that's like if Titanic sank in the first scene.
And then it's just shots of the ocean.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Uh, Anne?
Yeah, so, my film is kind of like a Western,
and the main character is this.
That's a Nokia.
Like, it used to be top dog in town,
and it's, like, gone away,
and now it's back to avenge, like, take the iPhone out
and reinstate itself as, like, the top dog in town.
Yeah. It's a film called Nokia.
Yeah, it's just, "Nokia. He's back."
(MAKES REPEATED BEEPING NOISES)
Wil, what did you bring in?
For a big movie, you've got to leverage off some pre-existing IP,
that's what you've got to do in these modern-day times
to get a movie made.
So I kept it pretty simple - Barbie.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Now... OK.
..I know you hate a pun, and this has not been good for me,
and none of these prize tasks have gone well,
so I thought I had to go an extra step,
so I literally paid to get a movie poster commissioned
to show you what the movie would look like.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
So, this movie re-establishes the patriarchy.
(LAUGHTER)
See... I'm into it! I love it!
We're back!
What a great film. Jenny?
I was thinking about, like, all the things
that get adapted these days,
comic books are very popular, and a lot of them are featuring
a lot of different types of representation at the moment.
But there's still one type of representation
that I've never seen on screen,
so what I've brought in is my own comic book
that I've made myself using Microsoft Paint,
it is Eczema Girl.
(LAUGHTER, CHEERING)
Is this based on you? Yes. (LAUGHS)
There was once a girl with eczema,
and she wished every day for her eczema to disappear
until she realised it gave her the power of scratching dry surfaces.
One day her town is invaded by a big, moist villain,
Gom Tleeson, and she's scared by his wetness.
He's so undefeatable.
And just when all hope is lost,
she remembers he has a dry sense of humour.
(LAUGHTER)
And she defeats him with one big scratch,
and everyone cheers.
(LOUD CHEERING)
That looks like the storyboards for one of Wil's shit sketches.
Oh, mate, I would dream of that.
(LAUGHTER)
Oh, well, I'd better hand out some scores.
Yep. Oh, there's a lot there to play with.
I'm not sure I could watch 2,000 years of
just a book being put down on a bedside table,
so one point to Lloyd.
I'm going to say two points for the tiny duck.
You can't make a whole film about it
just because Josh didn't say thank you.
I'm so happy with that.
And then I'll give three points to Jenny.
OK. I did like the concept.
Anne, four points. 'Cause, you know,
if there's a film about Tetris, you can have a film about Nokia.
But five points for Wil because we've re-established the patriarchy.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
I'll take it.
All the good work done in the Barbie film has been undone.
Alright, I'm itching for a task.
Uh, not as much as Jenny is, but let's do it all the same.
OK, it's time to see it be up and down with some up or down.
Hey, Jenny.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Hi, Lloyd.
How are you? I'm OK.
That's good. Well, this is fun.
You think? I don't know!
Oh, there's the task. Yeah.
"Make this balloon hover between the flags the longest."
Already I don't understand it, so that's a good start.
"In eight minutes, the crane will release the balloon."
"After the balloon is released, you may not touch it."
"Before the balloon is released,
"you may not remove it from the crane."
"Your attempt is over once the balloon floats above the flags..."
"Or sinks below the lower flags."
"Longest balloon hover between the flags wins."
"Your time starts now."
"Make this balloon hover between the flags."
What does that mean? Oh, there's... (LAUGHS)
OK, so, we have to make the balloon float
without going up or down, pretty much.
Well, this one seems pretty straightforward.
Yeah. Should we get into it?
Our first two hover crafters are Josh and Lloyd.
So, it just needs to hover? So, we want to keep it down?
The only way to really do that is to weigh it down.
But if you weigh it down too much, it'll just fall.
Mm.
OK, let's see what happens to the balloon now.
See, it's still just floating straight up.
We don't want that. We want it to dip.
This is fun.
Oh, this is fun. I like this, actually.
That's still floating.
I think two and a quarter marshmallows adhered to
the skin of the balloon will keep it in between the flags.
OK. You're happy with that?
Yeah, I'm happy to release.
Anything you'd like to do in the next four minutes.
Yeah. Eat some goddamn marshmallows.
You'd better believe I'm going to start cranking my hog
if that stays in between the flags.
That's what this is for, right?
How much now? 12 seconds.
Oh, that's quite soon. Yeah.
Any last words?
Come on.
Well, it's attached to the claw, but the balloon isn't,
so I feel like I'm winning in a really big way.
Oh.
No, that's not good at all.
(BLOWS WHISTLE) That wasn't good at all.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Hmm. That could have went better.
Josh, do you feel better, having seen Lloyd's effort?
I watched that and I thought I need to learn to believe in myself
because sometimes things aren't as terrible as Lloyd.
(LAUGHTER)
Welcome to MY life.
So, Lloyd, you went with 2.5 marshmallows.
If you had your time back, how many would you put on?
Well, I went with 2.25. Oh.
But 2.5 sounds good.
There are lots of tasks on this series
where I think, I'm so glad that's over,
and I never, ever would like to think about it ever again.
I'd be well up for doing that for a full day.
(LAUGHTER)
Josh's balloon remained within the flags for 17.06 seconds.
That's ages! Well done. That's great.
That's ages!
Lloyd's balloon stayed between the flags for 1.24 seconds.
(LAUGHS)
Hey, you at home watching - yeah, you -
sorry, but you've got a big chunk of food in your teeth.
It's spinach or something. It's gross.
We'll take a break, and you go and get a toothpick,
and we'll see you after this.
Oh, welcome back to Taskmaster.
We've just been doing a bit of television business stuff.
All perfectly normal.
Uh, fill them in, please, Clap Man.
Our contestants have eight minutes to do whatever they want
to a helium balloon before it is released by the claw.
They have to make it stay between the flags
for as long as possible.
So far, Josh has managed to make it hover for 17 seconds,
and Lloyd also did the task.
(LAUGHTER)
Next up, it's him and her trying to Hindenbur...g.
Here's Anne and Wil.
I mean, obviously, the temptation is to suck the helium out of it
and just talk like a chipmunk.
Obviously. But I won't do that.
If it was being held between two things, would you consider
that hovering, or would it be being held between two things?
Do you think that would be hovering?
I don't know. What's the definition of a hover?
Up to the Taskmaster, I guess. Oh, THAT guy.
Do you know what I mean?
How many minutes do I have left, Tom?
Two minutes left.
I'm just going to load this up, I think, with a bit more.
Or maybe not. Maybe that will balance out the rise.
20 seconds.
I'm going to tape this.
Oh, (BLEEP)!
That's it, Tom. (BLOWS WHISTLE)
Boo.
Oh, it's hovering.
(LAUGHS)
I win. It's hovering.
You feel good about this? I feel really good.
You've locked into quite an effective strategy here.
This is some of the best hovering I've seen.
I feel... Can I touch it? No.
(BLOWS WHISTLE) Right.
"Before the balloon is released, you may not remove it from the crane."
Now, did I remove it from the crane? Yeah.
Let's do what we're all here to do.
(INHALES GAS)
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) What a great task.
I absolutely loved it.
And I think it's one of your... I think it's one of the best ones
in the show so far.
Would you agree with that, Tom?
I'm really being mocked by the fact
that how well this is hovering in front of me.
This is some of the greatest hovering of all time,
and I'm going to get nothing for this.
I should be winning. Look at this.
It's perfect.
Thanks, Wil.
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Do you think I won that one?
You don't think I won that one?
You disqualified yourself.
Well, thanks so much for having me. Oh, wonderful, marshmallows.
It's a flavour sensation.
Is this still the helium? I don't think so.
OK, so, after Tom releases the balloon,
you may not touch the balloon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, why did you touch the balloon?
I just keep, like, undercutting myself, don't I?
Like, I actually do a good job and then go,
"Oh, let me see if I can wreck it."
(LAUGHTER)
Can I say a theory? Yes.
I think you wanted to talk like a chipmunk.
I did. I can't...
Like, perhaps consider for a moment
that I am a comedian and there's a helium balloon.
Like, I know we're on a show and it's a competition,
but, at the end of the day, I'm very like, honest
to my craft and...
(LAUGHTER)
..I have to do the comedy that's in front of me.
So, before the balloon is released, you may not remove it from the crane.
So what actually happened? I didn't really see.
It came out when I was...
Fiddling. ..fiddling with it.
And then you got to see just how beautifully it hovered
after you failed.
It was honestly the best thing I did in the entire show.
I mean, normally if you're disqualified from something,
you just leave in shame.
But I couldn't look away from how well I'd done.
It was, like, perfectly weighted.
It was in the middle. It's probably still there.
OK, one floater left.
Will she sink or swim or stay in the lab
and do the task well or poorly?
It's Jenny Tian.
So, this might be a really dumb question,
but can't I just, like, tie the string
to, like, a chair or something,
and that would still count as hovering?
All the information you need is in the task.
Now, I've just gotta not mess this up.
I'm feeling quite good about this.
What are you thinking?
I'm thinking I'm really, really quite smart.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Maybe this task is too simple.
Well, that's looking pretty good to me.
Alright, do you want some marshmallow?
Do you like the pink ones better or the white ones better?
They're the same to me.
But, like, it's got a flavour. Marshmallow.
Marshmallow is not a flavour, it's an object.
You don't think these taste the same?
I do.
I mean, sorry, wait.
You think these taste the same?
How are you failing as you're succeeding?
This is your best task yet.
Soak it in.
So, Jenny, you showed a genuine moment of out-of-the-box thinking
followed by, "Marshmallow's not a flavour, it's an object."
I mean, I'm not going to lie,
I just thought this task was so easy.
I was like, this isn't going to air because it's so easy,
everyone's obviously figured this out because it's so easy.
I was like, there's got to be more to it.
So then, yeah, I just started, um, offering Tom marshmallows
and doing other things because, frankly,
I got bored waiting for it as well.
It also does explain why Jenny came into my dressing-room
the other night and said, "Do you think there's a difference between
"pink marshmallows and white marshmallows?"
(LAUGHTER)
Well, what are the scores?
Well, we left Jenny's balloon there overnight.
It was hovering for 18 hours and 21 minutes.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
So, what are the points for the task?
Well, Wil and Anne were DQ'd, so they get zero.
Lloyd gets three, Josh four,
and Jenny takes the task with five points!
Yes!
Alright, and what about the episode scores so far?
Well, with all the buoyancy of a beautiful red balloon,
Jenny has floated to the top with eight points.
(CHEERING)
OK, give me another of your little goodies there, boy.
It's our final team task of the season.
Hello. Hi.
Oh. What do you think about this choice?
You look different. Let's have Tom...
Let's have Tom have a look.
Ooh! He looks dumb.
Oh, my God, it's a working camera.
And it's... It's already recording.
WIL: Oh. Oh. OK.
This is fun.
"Create an authentic and heart-warming family home video."
"Create an authentic and dysfunctional family home video."
"You must film the video on this camera."
"Most authentic family wins."
"You have 30 minutes.
"Your time starts now.
We need to be, like, a family unit.
The three of us. Yeah.
"Dysfunctional family" is the key word here.
Someone flies back from overseas for a family reunion.
They were fighting in the military.
Oh. Whoa. And, um...
I think Mummy's got a secret.
(BOTH LAUGH)
OK, Mummy's got a secret.
(APPLAUSE)
Anne, you've set up some genuine intrigue with "Mummy's got a secret."
(LAUGHTER)
Did you, when they read the task,
and they read theirs first and it said "heart-warming family",
did you think me and you had both (BLEEP)...
Yes. Yeah, I heard...
Reading problems. I thought they read it,
I thought, "Oh, no, me and Anne did dysfunctional."
Just to be clear, we want a heart-warming family story,
and that's what we're going to get from the Discount Wiggles.
And we're also going to get a dysfunctional family story
from the Premium Economy Hooley Dooleys.
But what I'm judging you by is how authentic they are.
Who's up first?
Let's begin with our heart-warming family.
Here's mother Jenny, father Wil, and their beloved child, Lloyd.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
JENNY: Another Christmas without...
Bloody Christmas day, love. Bloody merry bloody Christmas.
It's been years and years since we've seen our son, Lloyd.
I just, I miss him so much, darling.
I don't know what my life is without him.
Admit it, darl, he's probably... He's probably dead.
Oh, no! He's probably bloody dead.
Oh!
I didn't even get to hug him at all once in our entire lives.
I never... You don't bloody hug boys, love.
I've always told you this.
You feed him bloody meatballs and turnips
and they grow up to be proper bloody men.
You know, I don't know where you are in the world, my son.
I just...I miss you so dearly, and...and I just...I just...
I wish you were home and I wish I could give you a hug.
(SOBS)
Darling, do you want to record a message for Lloyd as well?
Oh, no, I don't bloody want to record a bloody message for Lloyd.
My darling, you have to... Mum.
I don't. Dad.
Private Lloyd reporting for family reunion Christmas.
(CRIES) Oh! Could it be?
(APPLAUSE) Son!
Is it you?
Oh, my God!
Oh, goodness. Oh, oh...
Mum!
Oh, son. Son.
I'm making bloody Christmas meatballs and turnips.
That's your bloody favourite, son.
It's my favourite, and you've made it, and I feel...
I feel so emotional.
I've been overseas on top-secret duties for so long.
What have you been doing? What?
Well, I can't tell you everything.
Tell us!
Some of it is classified. Tell us what you've been doing!
I want you tell us anything. Tell us.
But you know Osama bin Laden? Yeah.
Of course.
(LAUGHTER)
Oh, you did that... That was all me.
You ended... I was...
I was part of the...the Seal team.
Oh, my God! You?
Our boy Lloy... Yeah.
My boy.
I could not be more proud of my son.
Keep it under your hat, though, 'cause it's, like...not...
It's classified. Oh, my goodness.
Son. Son. (EMOTIONAL MUSIC)
I am so... (SNIFFS)
Come here.
I'm so proud of you. Ahhhh!
I'm so proud of you. My son!
We couldn't have hoped for a better person to kill Osama bin Laden.
That's the first time Dad has touched me not in violence.
(LAUGHTER) Oh!
Oh.
(APPLAUSE)
Lloyd, why did you want to make the story heart-warming
by evoking the memory of 9/11
by mentioning... (LAUGHTER)
..mentioning Osama bin Laden?
Was it necessary to drag that into a comedy show?
The narrative was the father and the son.
They'd never hugged. That was the story.
So we were going to have this authentic Christmas reunion.
They were going to hug for the first time.
And Lloyd just thought the thing that might spur that hug would be
finding out that your son had murdered Osama bin Laden.
(LAUGHTER)
The hug that your character, Wil, gave Lloyd,
is that the hug that you would like to receive from your own father?
Yes, yes. And that's why it was so authentic, Tom.
What do you think he might be thinking? He's probably watching now.
He's not. (LAUGHTER)
So, Jenny, did you find it hard,
because you make a lot of videos on TikTok...
Was it difficult making something that long and in landscape mode?
(LAUGHTER)
I was, like, I was, like, seeing it.
And then I saw the red button and then the graininess.
And I was like, "Oh, my God,
"it looks exactly like one of those TikTok filters."
(LAUGHS) (APPLAUSE)
Alright, time for a short break.
Go give your boy a hug, would ya? It's not that hard. See you soon.
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
where we've all been having a little itch on Jenny's eczema.
(LAUGHTER)
What else is happening?
We're watching authentic family videos.
So far, we've seen a heart-warming tribute to a soldier's return
after slaying Osama bin Laden.
Next up, it's the dysfunctional family.
It's mother Anne and her only son, Josh.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
The thing is...
It's just give me two more days and we can run away together.
I know you're my boss.
And also my son's best friend's father, but I love you.
I can't stay with Bruce. I can't.
That time him and Josh auditioned for Australian Idol was...
..the worst day of my life.
The humiliation. I've never recovered.
JOSH: What? Mum?
Oh, here she goes. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her.
Josh, sweetie! Tell him what you said.
No.
Australian Idol. You were wonderful.
You were the best one there.
I don't know why they didn't put you through, Josh.
It's gonna go viral. Yeah.
(WHISPERS) Bitch. Give me the camera, sweetheart.
No.
Give Mummy the camera. No.
Give Mummy the camera! (EXCLAIMS)
Give Mummy the camera! Give Mummy the camera!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) (BOTH SCREAM)
Ah-ah-ah-ah! Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah! Ahhhh!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
My Joshy!
(SOBS)
I've killed my only son.
I'd go to a million Australian Idol auditions
if I could just have my boy back.
Ah! Ah!
(WAILS)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(ANNE LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER)
It's just a lot to take in.
I like the Blair Witch vibes. I think they're very good.
So what was Mummy's little secret?
Was that that you actually think your son was not a good singer?
The murder? Or the affair?
The affair was the main secret.
But, yes, that also, I think, he's not a good singer.
And then obviously, yes, I've killed him.
Wait, you think that the affair is a worse secret than murdering me?
Australia's sweetheart?
(LAUGHTER)
Yes. Yeah.
What do you think about my tactic of
mostly just putting Anne Edmonds in it?
Oh, less Josh is always more enjoyable for me.
I thought the performance, Anne, was very authentic.
Thank you. I have wanted to kill people before.
(LAUGHS)
Feels like you didn't need to go too deep to find that emotion.
No, yeah, I've definitely got a violent streak and, um...
(LAUGHS) ..and I like to get it out.
It was fun. I really enjoyed doing that. Yeah.
So I have to give out some scores. You do.
Uh, it's pretty easy.
I mean, I just love the chaotic energy of the...
..of the Premium Economy Hooley Dooleys.
I believed in Anne's performance.
Ah...
Are you saying you don't think I could kill Osama bin Laden?
(LAUGHTER)
No, well, I think the hug at the end was very authentic,
but that was mostly due to the empty hole
in the middle of Wil Anderson's body that you're trying to fill.
Well, you could fill it with some points.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
I must say, they were very close.
I think they were both great films.
So it's going to be five, five, four, four, four.
ANNE: Lovely.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Very close.
OK, let's have another task.
OK. For this next one, we're off to the pub.
Or as I once heard the Taskmaster refer to it under his breath,
home.
JOSH: Hello.
Hi, Josh.
Ooh, what we got here, then?
Hi, Anne. Hello.
Is that an accent? Yep.
Cockney British, I think.
What have we got here, then? A few chips and a bit of a beer.
Mm-hm. Wow.
"Win the pub quiz.
"Tom will ask ten questions.
"You must write down each answer on your whiteboard...
"Within 30 seconds of Tom asking. "No phones.
"Your time starts when Tom asks his first question."
It's a bit warmer than I'd like, but that's OK.
Bit colder than I like, so you know what?
We've found a happy medium between.
Ask away, my friend.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright, well, win a pub quiz. Sounds pretty easy.
I guess... Oh, actually... Was Lloyd missing?
I didn't see Lloyd. Didn't see Lloyd in that one.
Maybe it would help to see the task that Lloyd was given.
(LAUGHS)
"Write the pub quiz for the other comedians.
"Your quiz must have ten questions.
"Your quiz questions may not include any contestant's name.
"Tom will give your quiz to the other four contestants.
"Wil Anderson must win the quiz.
"Jenny Tian must come second.
"Josh Thomas must come third.
"Anne Edmonds must lose the quiz."
I mean, that would be straightforward.
"If they end up in that order,
"you will get five points and they will get zero.
"If they come in any other order,
"they will get three points and you will get zero.
"You have ten minutes. Your time starts now.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
So they all have to win the quiz in that order?
Yep. Uh, and then Lloyd will get five.
But if it's in any other order, the others get three.
And Lloyd gets nothing.
So it's all or nothing with this particular order for Lloyd.
I feel like this task is impossible for me to win.
Not knowing Jenny very well at all,
and not knowing Josh well at all,
and, like, not knowing Anne that well...
Like, I... (LAUGHTER)
OK, well, I think we just need to see this one.
Answering quiz questions as written by Lloyd Langford,
here are Wil, Jenny, Josh and Anne.
Ready for your first question?
Yes. Yes, Tom.
Which instrument did Miles Davis play?
I'm going to go with piano. OK.
Trumpet.
Anne wouldn't know that? I don't reckon.
Sax.
Wil Anderson must win the quiz.
What did he know about?
I know where he lives.
Question two. What day of the week is the Mullumbimby market on?
What is that?
There's some Saturday markets as well, but mostly it's on a Friday.
Oh, he knows Tom Gleeson, though, right?
What is Tom Gleeson's wife's name?
I've met her.
This is going to be so rude.
Ellie. I hope that's right.
I really like her. I can see her face.
I can see her. She's a really nice person.
What an awful question.
What is Tom Gleeson's waist size?
Because we all know about clothes? They're mates, right?
You try on each other's trousers messing around.
So I'm going to say he's a 34-inch waist.
OK.
Trim.
Right. Who was the most streamed artist on Spotify in 2023?
I can't simultaneously come up with a question
that Wil is going to know...
Taylor Swift. ..Anne isn't...
Shake it up.
..Jenny sort of does...
Taylor Swift.
..and Josh might. Taylor Swift?
In what decade was the Sydney Opera House built?
1920s.
Who directed The Godfather?
Francis Ford Coppola.
I know something, see?
What are the ingredients of a Moscow mule?
Vodka, ginger beer, and lime.
What did Steve Jobs die of?
Anne wouldn't have a clue.
Pancreatic cancer.
Disease.
I got one question left, right.
We'll make it an interesting one.
On 9/11, which of the planned targets wasn't hit?
Pentagon? They hit the Pentagon.
Google it. There was definitely one that wasn't hit.
They got it.
Oh, they did, yeah. Fair play.
(BLOWS WHISTLE) Your time's run out.
It's too wishy washy a question, isn't it?
You can't change it now.
Final question. On 9/11, which of the planned...
Are you sure? On 9/11...
No, no. Babe, babe, I'm gonna stop you right there.
We don't need to do this.
On 9/11, which of the planned targets wasn't hit?
Did you come up with this?
If I was planning to take down America,
it would have been the White House.
So I'm gonna say, President Bush.
Stop judging me. I can see you judging me.
It's a man.
What could really shake America up, you know, at that time.
They got him with a plane?
But they didn't. They didn't. They didn't get him.
(LAUGHS)
Thank you, Tom.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
That's the hardest thing to do.
Lloyd, why do you keep dragging 9/11 into this comedy show?
You keep dragging that misery right into the centre
of this light-hearted show.
Tell me the theories you're always saying at home.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
I wish I could say that those last two tasks were filmed close together
and it was just in my mind.
But that isn't true.
(LAUGHTER)
But what I love is, like,
finally, the revelation of what the theme of the questions was.
Yeah, yeah. Because on the day I was like,
"Who came up with these questions?"
(LAUGHTER)
What moron...
So did Lloyd achieve his goal?
No. I know I didn't.
OK. (LAUGHTER)
So just a reminder of the rankings we're looking for?
So we were looking for Wil to win, Jenny to come second,
Josh to come third, and Anne to come fourth.
Lloyd, back yourself. Like ISIS.
(LAUGHTER)
OK, so what order did they actually get?
Jenny got two questions correct.
Wil and Anne both got four questions correct.
And Josh was the winner of the quiz, with five points.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Well done, Josh.
So what are the scores?
So, Lloyd was unsuccessful.
So that means three points for Anne, Jenny, Josh, and Wil.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) That was so hard.
That's so hard. Alright, time for some ads.
See if you can guess how many times
Anne tries to casually drop my wife's actual name into conversation
over the next five minutes.
(LAUGHS) See you back here soon.
Love you, Ellie!
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
and we're nearly at the end of our penultimate episode of season two.
And I still won't let this joker next to me look me in the eye.
Nor should you.
Call us academics, because we're about to engage in a peer review.
Hi, Jenny. Hey, Tom.
Ooh. Hello.
Hi, Lloyd. Hello.
What are you doing in the... lurking around the corridor?
I think there's something in your locker.
Oh, no.
I didn't even know I had a locker here.
Oh! God!
(LAUGHTER)
Was that supposed to be scary?
Ew! That's a bit wrong, isn't it?
"Make a surprising appearance.
"Most surprising appearance wins.
"You have until the studio record of episode nine.
"Your time starts...now."
Where? Up to you.
What?
You mean I've got, like, days?
OK. Weeks.
Something to think about. Yeah.
Thanks, Lloyd. Thank you.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Jenny, I think it's a special skill
to be confused by such a simple task.
(LAUGHS)
But is it that simple? I don't think it was...
Wait. Surely other people were confused.
No. We just...
No. OK. That's...
We literally just watched footage of all of them not being confused.
Even me.
It was just a bit of humble homework, wasn't it?
A bit of a homework task? That's right.
It's up to them where or when they appear
and how they capture that appearance.
OK. Who's first?
He may be a catch, but can he catch us off guard? It's Josh Thomas.
I could do it to Anne when she does this challenge.
I could be in there.
Could you fit in there?
It doesn't feel good.
Hi, Anne. ANNE: Hi, Tom.
What are you doing in the... lurking around the corridor?
Something in your locker right here. Ooh!
What is it?
Ew! That's a bit wrong, isn't it?
Is that surprising? It was a bit.
But did you expect me to have more of a reaction than that?
Maybe.
Do you want me to do it again? It's OK.
No, no. Ahhh!
Not doing it again. (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Whoa!
(LAUGHS)
That was good.
Really terrified me.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
That was very good. That was great.
And, um, I, uh... My finger was bleeding.
I showed you after.
I was in the locker looking. I was holding the door.
And my...I was watching blood come out of my finger.
And then she said, should I do it again?
And I thought, I'm not going to make it.
(LAUGHTER) Yeah.
I think it was a very effective surprise.
I was very surprised that you could fit in there.
Yeah. They're very small lockers.
I mean, it got a great result, though.
You must be happy with that. I'm happy. Yeah.
It's a good, nice, solid start.
(APPLAUSE) Good. Very good.
Another, please.
Hopefully she doesn't knock her own socks off
because not wearing socks can exacerbate eczema.
It's Jenny Tian.
OK, so I am currently dressed as Lloyd Langford,
so I'm currently in an Edmonds Field outfit
and I'm Welsh and I'm gonna give him a surprise appearance.
I am currently in Josh Thomas's outfit
and I'm going to surprise him.
I am now in Wil Anderson's outfit, and I'm going to surprise him.
He's eaten, like, half the marshmallows in this.
Ahh! No way! Why!
(GASPS)
Boo! Oh!
Boo! Oh! Oh!
(BOTH SQUEAL, LAUGH)
(ALL EXCLAIM IN SLOW MOTION)
Oh, hello. How are you? (LAUGHS)
Oh... (LAUGHS)
Why are you dressed like me?
You look good in that. (LAUGHS)
That's very naughty.
Are you in my outfit?
Jenny, where did you get it from?
You're a psycho. Get out of here!
Oh, this is for the TikTok.
No, it's for episode nine.
Surprise appearance.
Oh, it's for the show!
(APPLAUSE)
Did it feel good to finally film something properly?
(LAUGHS)
Feel like you're back to normal now?
Yeah, 100%. Yes.
OK, well, I think that was pretty effective.
Um, got some great frights there. Who's next?
Will she take us aback or bring herself to the front?
It's Anne Edmonds.
The human behaviour expert says it's one of the biggest signs
you're micro cheating on your partner.
She says hiding interactions with a colleague is also a red flag
because it can erode trust in your personal relationships.
This behaviour expert obviously never been asked
for an after-work drink.
That's what's happened here.
So the extra froth on my latte, that means nothing?
Oh, wow, no, that's just...
That's from the barista. I think that's got...
You might be having a micro relationship with the barista.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
I must admit, for a while there I was thinking,
"Why are you making me watch The Project?"
(LAUGHS)
It's a wonderful show on this very network.
Um, no, um...
(LAUGHTER)
Wait, did that go to air?
Yeah. Did people see it on when it went live to air?
I don't think so. We missed it.
Nobody messaged you or anything? No. Just... That's...
(LAUGHS)
Might give you an idea of ratings. (LAUGHS)
OK. One more.
Will this stunner have a shocker or will he stun and shock us?
It's Lloyd Langford.
(DOLEFUL GUITAR STRUMS)
(HORN HONKS) Hey!
(LAUGHTER) (HORN HONKS)
(LAUGHTER)
(DOLEFUL GUITAR STRUMS)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHS)
So that was at the Adelaide Fringe.
And I just come off stage.
You gave me a bit of a fright.
I'd been crouched down in that box
that I found out was full of mouse shit...
(LAUGHTER)
..with an air horn and a wig on.
And then Tommy Little was backstage and was like, "Take your shirt off."
(LAUGHTER)
And I was like...
Which, by the way, is what Tommy Little says to everyone backstage.
(LAUGHTER)
It's a bit tricky for me.
Now it's hard to judge because for me, that was a visceral reaction.
I thought I was about to die.
I thought someone was going to jump up and like, stab me.
And just as I was dying, just whispering to me...
(WHISPERS) .."You're not Greg Davies."
(LAUGHTER)
You're not. Oh, I've been killed by a nerd!
What's Reddit going to think?
(LAUGHTER)
OK, well, we've got one more surprising appearance
still to come,
but who will it be?
I can't think of something that would be easier to deduce.
(LAUGHTER)
Come back after these advertisements to find out.
Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Lesser Tom, catch the people up.
Our comedians had more than a month to make a surprising appearance.
So far, Josh climbed out of a locker, Anne went on The Project,
Jenny did some TikTokky stuff,
and Lloyd got in a dumpster.
(LAUGHTER)
We have one last comedian left,
and when we asked him before the show
where his surprising appearance footage was,
he said he'd already sent it and we just needed to take a closer look.
So let's take a closer look.
Here is Wil Anderson.
(DOLEFUL GUITAR STRUMS)
(LAUGHTER)
(HORN HONKS)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
I could be in there.
Could you fit in there?
ANNE: Boo! Oh.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
So how did you...how did you get yourself into all those positions?
Well, Jenny's surprise to me only happened today,
so luckily I was already in that one.
Oh. Oh. (LAUGHTER)
So your justification was you were in that one.
Yeah, that was fine, so...
But the rest of them was a lot of planning.
One of them I had to travel back in time for.
(LAUGHTER)
Well, I have to score these, don't I?
You do. Most surprising wins. OK.
Well, I found Josh's the least surprising.
Just because he jumped out of a locker
he was standing at when you handed out the task.
Yeah.
Two points to Lloyd because I didn't find watching it surprising
because I knew what was going to happen.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
I was like, "Here we go."
Uh, Anne's going to get three points. It was very surprising.
Um, but the fact that I keep watching The Project
was even more surprising.
Four points to Jenny.
Mostly because it's going to be a great TikTok video
that's going to go viral and put this show on the map.
(LAUGHTER)
But five points to Wil Anderson because I was genuinely surprised
at the effort he went to.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK. Now how are those episode scores going?
Continuing to appear at the top, it's Jenny in the lead on 19 points.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. Get up on that stage for our final task of the show.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. We've got some thongs and some barbecues.
This looks like some good old ocker fun.
Who's reading the task?
Lloyd, if I could ask you to read this.
Toss the most thongs with the tongs onto your barbecue.
If at any point a golden thong is tossed with tongs
on to another barbecue,
all the thongs on that barbecue will be cleared.
If you touch a thong with your hand at any point, you are disqualified.
All tossing must be done from your spot,
and you may not move your spot or your barbecue,
especially you, Anne.
Most thongs remaining on a barbecue after 150 seconds wins.
Your time starts now. (BLOWS WHISTLE)
Oh.
Ohhhhh!!!!!
Wait. Wait.
Wait. What?
(CHEERING)
Can I get my...? Can I get these from here?
Can I get these?
Yes, yes.
AUDIENCE: Oh.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Josh has been disqualified. Why? What?
You're touching them with your hands.
I thought we weren't allowed to touch them when we threw them.
30 seconds remaining.
Ten,
nine,
eight, seven,
six, five,
four,
three, two,
one.
(BLOWS WHISTLE) (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright, time for a break.
We'll see you soon with the final scores.
Welcome back. Did you miss us?
Alright, squire, what's happening?
Well, we were just throwing some thongs with some tongs
on to some barbecues,
and we're about to find out how each of our contestants did. OK.
We know how one of our contestants did.
AUDIENCE: Oh. Thanks, guys. Thank you.
OK, so how many thongs were thrown?
So, I can confirm Josh had 16 thongs,
but he touched way more, so that's irrelevant.
Wil had five thongs on his barbecue,
Anne, Lloyd and Jenny all had nine thongs on their barbecue.
Wow.
Which means they each get five points.
Wil gets two and zero for Josh.
But what does that mean if we don't know our episode winner? Tell us.
Turning Wil into ill by picking up the W this episode,
it's Jenny Tian on 24 points.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Right.
Congratulations, Jenny.
Go back up on stage and get ready to appear excited to get your crap.
But what does that do to our scores overall for the whole season?
Well, Josh, Jenny and Wil are trailing,
but out in front there's going to be an interesting ride home.
Lloyd is on 142 points. Anne is out in front with 144.
Oooh!
OK.
That's it for our second-to-last episode of our season
where, as always, we have learned some things.
We learnt Mummy's secret, and it was a doozy.
Lloyd has zero remorse
when it comes to getting a laugh out of a historical tragedy.
(LAUGHTER)
But most of all, we learnt that Jenny was the winner of our episode.
Join us again next week for our final episode. Good night.
Whoo-hoo!
Welcome to the grand finale of Taskmaster Australia season two.
By the end of this show, we will have a series champion.
You don't even have a dad.
I'm not going to hurt you. I'm working so hard.
Is he Swedish?
LLOYD: I feel despondent.
I've got to go big. There we go.
Arrgh!