(TASKMASTER OPENING THEME PLAYS)
Nooo!
(SCREAMS) Oh!
(DING!)
Ahh! Whoo!
Ugh! We slayed it!
Is this good television?
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Hello, and welcome to the grand finale
of Taskmaster Australia season three.
It's an epic climax.
It's the last hurrah, the final countdown of the show
where I, Tom Gleeson, give out the only award that matters in Australia,
the prize that, for the winner, will unlock fame and adoration,
and, for me, also unlocks my iPhone.
(LAUGHTER)
It's the golden Taskmaster trophy.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Laid out in front of me in a buffet of shame and anticipation
are five of the bravest comedians you're ever likely to meet.
They are Aaron Chen...
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
..Concetta Caristo... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
..Mel Buttle... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
..Peter Helliar... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
..and Rhys Nicholson.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And by my side, as always,
a man so proud he stopped going to his local Oporto
when they started greeting him by name.
(LAUGHTER)
It's Tom Cashman.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
G'day, Lesser Tom.
Hi there. It's our final episode.
Yeah, it's very exciting, isn't it? It is.
So I don't have much time, so I just wanted to show you a photo.
(LAUGHTER)
That's a computer-generated image.
It's a combination of both of our faces.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
I don't even really have a joke or anything to say about it,
other than I think he's beautiful.
(LAUGHTER)
Do you like him?
I don't know. (LAUGHTER)
I think we could get him in to host the show,
and it would be great because he wouldn't need a sidekick.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
Alright, Lesser Tom, let's get this finale underway.
What's our prize task tonight?
For our final episode,
our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be
the most unreliable thing.
OK, let's go with you first, Concetta.
What have you brought in? This.
(LAUGHTER)
You may be thinking that that's me, and I'm the most unreliable thing.
Wrong! (LAUGHTER)
It's the company that make life-size cardboard cut-outs
that are the most unreliable thing in the world.
I ordered this weeks ago.
It was meant to come a week ago. It came today.
I was told it was life-size. It's this big.
They said they would get it to my perfect body shape.
Where's my beautiful hair and feet?
So this is a professional company that did this for you?
A more like unprofessional.
But you're not saying it was you that you brought in,
because you are also unreliable.
We've seen that across the series.
(LAUGHTER)
So it could be the company or it could be you.
If it's me, it's me, baby.
Concetta, are you engaged?
No, I just wear that day to day.
They say dress for the job you want.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
Mel, what do you bring in?
You might have seen your housekeeper, Flavia,
using one of these at some point.
(LAUGHTER) That's called a vacuum cleaner.
Oh, is it? And they're the worst invention.
The cord does not fit the length of any room that you want to vacuum.
It has a maximum and minimum suck button.
That's what you're seeing there.
And they both...
Rhys.
Stay. Stay.
It's past.
I reckon it's the worst appliance ever invented
because of its, well, unreliability, Tom.
OK. What about you, Rhys?
What did you bring in?
I went with this.
This is a printer. Yeah.
To make it more unreliable,
it is printing out a boarding pass for a budget airline
that for legal reasons I'm not allowed to say on Channel 10.
And I thought, "This is a little bit unreliable.
"How can I make it more unreliable?"
So I did this.
I hit it with a hammer. (LAUGHTER)
OK. (APPLAUSE)
That seems pretty unreliable now, Tom.
Alright. Aaron, what did you bring in?
I've brought in the roofs of comedy venues that you perform at,
um... (LAUGHTER)
..because they keep getting blown off.
(APPLAUSE)
Yeah. They're unreliable.
I reckon they should, um, like,
build them out of a stronger material
if, um, if you're performing in them.
But there is...there is no material stronger than yours.
(LAUGHTER, CHEERING)
Peter, what did you bring in? PETER: Tom.
We are... We are men of a certain age.
You're a bit older. Whatever. Um...
I'm one month older than you.
And you can tell by some of your references.
(LAUGHTER)
Um... (APPLAUSE)
This is quite simple for me.
Most unreliable thing for me is my bladder on a long-haul flight.
(LAUGHTER)
Is that a bladder?
Bit worried it might be another part of your body.
It looks like a prostate.
Well, we'll have a look around later on.
(LAUGHTER)
So your bladder is so unreliable it can just change into a prostate.
Your bladder is trans. (LAUGHS)
Please refer to my bladder as a them.
(LAUGHTER)
I think your bladder's pronouns are we-slash-we.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
I've got to score these, don't I? Yeah, you do.
Alright. Well, this is tricky.
I'm going to give Aaron Chen one point.
OK. Hey. No worries.
I mean, I know he was sucking up to me, which I don't really respect.
He's been doing it for the whole season.
So I'm giving you one point.
I'm going to give two points to Mel Buttle,
'cause I think that's more just your vacuum cleaner that's unreliable.
I'm going to give three points to Rhys.
Because that was definitely very unreliable what you brought in.
I've spent a lot of time with Peter Helliar over the years,
and I can tell you he has a very unreliable bladder
on land as well.
Tom, and if it affects the points, I'm pissing my pants right now.
(LAUGHTER)
But on five points, because
I'm taking Concetta not at what she brought in.
I think it's pretty fair to say if you have been watching this show...
(LAUGHTER)
..Concetta is more unreliable than all those things.
(LAUGHS) So five points to Concetta!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK, LT, let's spice this competition with a healthy dose of context.
How are all of the comedians doing in the series overall?
Well, Mel Buttle is sitting in fifth place, with 132 points.
The other four contestants are all within four points.
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
We have Pete on 147 points, Rhys on 148, Concetta on 149,
and Aaron on 150.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK. A task proper first-up.
What have you got for me, Tom?
This one should pack a real crunch.
There you are. Hi, Pete.
Hey, Tom. Hi, Tom. Hi, Mel.
What the 'ell is going on here?
These your mates? Yeah. Moral support.
Wow.
Good, good, good.
Good, good, good, good. Yep.
(HUMS)
Quite the set-up.
I guess I should open this magical letter.
Mm-hm.
"Eat... (BLEEP)"
Oh, you're gonna love it.
"Transport your cornflakes along the magical waterfall path
"and deposit them in the receptacle at the end."
"You must be on the path and wearing your cornflake helmet..." (LAUGHS)
"..at all times."
"In each pool you must guess the pool gnome's name." Oh, my gosh.
"Then wait 10 seconds before proceeding."
"If the name is correct, the gnome will allow dry passage."
"If the name is incorrect, the gnome will release its magic."
"You have ten minutes.
"Least soggy cornflakes wins."
Well, this is a disadvantage already.
You are at somewhat of a disadvantage today.
The gnomes' names are written here. Yeah.
"The gnomes' names are Balthazar, Gerald, Ian, Reggie, Owen,
"Valentino and Yogi."
All very good names.
Oh, Tom, I love names.
You love all names? I love all of them.
Wow. Except for Tom.
That one's boring.
"You have ten minutes."
"Your time starts now."
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
So, Concetta, you don't like the name Tom?
Who does?
None of us do, right?
I love it. I love the name Tom.
I think it's... Oh, (BLEEP)!
I mean, only...when it's...
No, no, no. You said the name Tom.
You didn't like the name Tom. Isn't your full name Tomothy?
(LAUGHTER)
No.
OK. Guess the gnomes' names.
Couldn't be much simpler, really.
That's right. It's a gnome guessing game.
And if you've ever met a gnome, this is classic.
They love this kind of thing.
No need to guess the names of the first two contestants.
I'll tell you. It's Concetta and Pete.
Balthazar.
No. No. No. No. No.
Oh, you dog!
Ian! It's Ian.
It's bullshit.
This is Ian.
Well, this one's clearly Valentino.
Oh, no, Tom.
This is Ian. No!
He looks like an Ian.
Maybe this one's Reggie.
Oh!
Seven gnomes. Seven days of the week. Ian!
I feel like the cornflakes are quite soggy.
Valentino. (LAUGHS)
No, I'm actually quite confident this is Ian.
No. Not Ian.
Ahh! (EXCLAIMS)
OK.
I'm starting to hate every Ian I've ever met.
I think I have cornflakes in my undies now.
It's in my butt crack.
There's one name I'm not particularly happy with.
Who's that? Ian.
Oh. That's my... That's my guess.
Your gnome has granted you dry passage.
Yeah! (LAUGHS) (APPLAUSE)
Maybe this one's Valentino.
No! Please!
OK, so he's second last.
Is it spelling a word? I'm guessing Owen.
This one's Valentino.
Tom?
Is this one Valentino?
You may proceed to the receptacle.
They sound dry to me. Are they dry? That sounded dry?
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Thanks, Peter.
Can I have a hug?
Oh, no, thank you. Come on. I really needed it today.
I really just need a bit of affection today.
That's OK.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright, so, Pete, you were saying seven gnomes, seven days of the week?
Is that how we've worn you down over the series?
You're looking for clues that aren't there?
Listen, this was frustrating. I had no idea.
But once I was on the Ian path... Yeah.
..I couldn't leave.
Yeah.
Because one was going to be called Ian.
If I knew Ian was second last,
I would have gone a different name earlier.
(LAUGHTER)
You said you hate Ians in general now.
Both spellings? Ian and Iain?
Oh. The Iain.
They can go (BLEEP) themselves.
(LAUGHTER)
So, Concetta, what was your approach to this task?
Just try my best.
And I felt close to the name, as we saw, Valentino,
probably because of its Italian origins.
You weren't looking for any patterns or trying to solve any puzzles?
I don't think I did that the whole season.
So both Concetta and Pete only got one
out of the seven gnomes' names correct,
and both of their cornflakes were absolutely sopping wet, obviously.
OK. That's the end of part one of the last episode of the season.
We'll give you a short amount of time to grieve.
But for God's sake, pull yourself together
by the time we start part two.
You're embarrassing yourself.
We'll see you soon with more Taskmaster.
Welcome back to the Taskmaster season finale.
Now, where were we, Tom?
Our contestants are trying to guess the names of garden gnomes.
If they're right, they're allowed to move forward without getting wet.
And the person with the driest cornflakes on their head
at the end of the task wins.
OK. Who have we got next?
Next to lead you down the garden path, it's Mel and Rhys.
Be mindful of the cornflakes.
Oh.
Doing the right thing. Owen.
Valentino.
Um. Reggie.
Yogi.
Didn't say I couldn't do this.
Puff, puff, puff.
Ian.
Yogi. Your gnome has allowed safe passage.
You may proceed down the magic path.
I don't know what's happening.
Alright, she's worked it out. Here we go.
This is Gerald.
Your gnome has allowed dry passage.
Ian?
Now I kind of want to get it in.
(LAUGHTER)
This is Balthazar. Balthazar.
Your gnome has granted you dry passage.
Yay!
Ah! Ah!
Strategy is starting to fall apart a little bit, Tom,
but I'm going to say Valentino.
Gerald. Yeah.
Final guess. Oh.
Well, this must be Valentino.
Valentino.
Your gnome has granted dry passage.
Thanks, Val.
Am I allowed to do this?
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Thanks, Rhys.
See you, Mel. Bye, Tom.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
So, Rhys, I feel that saying the name Valentino
and then being drenched from above
would be something that's happened to you before.
And I had a wonderful time in Italy.
(LAUGHTER)
Mel, you seem like you were onto some kind of pattern there.
But then it didn't work anymore. What happened?
Well, what the pattern is, is the colour on the gnome's hat
responded to the name, the first letter of the name.
Like Valentino was probably maybe violet.
Yeah. Right.
So where it worked for me was with easy-peasy colours
like Gerald, green, simple.
But when we get into your upper middle class...
(LAUGHTER)
..your indigos, that's where it really fell apart.
(LAUGHTER) OK, well, how did that go?
Rhys got two out of the seven names correct, and Mel got three.
And that was reflected in the sogginess.
I would say Rhys's was about a 7 out of 10 sogginess
and Mel, I would put it at about 5 out of 10.
Thank you. OK, Lesser Tom.
One comedian to go. That's right.
Which means you've probably already guessed his name.
It's Aaron Chen.
(LAUGHS)
Have you ever heard of rainbows, Tom?
I'm familiar with rainbows. Yeah.
Why do you ask?
Your time has started.
Because your task is freaking easy.
(CHEERING)
Reggie.
Your gnome has granted safe passage. Yeah, I know.
(LAUGHTER)
Owen.
ROY G BIV, mate. (LAUGHTER)
Your gnome has granted safe passage.
Yogi.
Your gnome has granted safe passage.
Gerald.
Your gnome was granted safe passage.
Balthazar.
Your gnome granted has safe passage.
Ian. Indigo.
Oh, stop! Stop, stop, stop!
Your gnome has granted safe passage. Yeah.
Jeez. There might be a job going for your job soon.
This guy, Valentino.
Your gnome has granted safe passage.
Don't waste my time.
Thanks, Aaron.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
So, despite the disadvantage of it being a rainy day,
I feel that, Aaron, your cornflakes will out your comedy - bone dry.
(LAUGHTER)
And, um, I got to experience a little bit
of what it feels like to do your comedy - a raging success.
(LAUGHTER)
So what are the final scores?
Well, Aaron got all seven correct
and I would say 1 out of 10 sogginess.
Based on sogginess, we have two points for Concetta,
two for Pete, three for Rhys, four for Mel,
and Aaron takes home the task with five points.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Alright.
Hit me with another task, Tom.
I'm ready for another.
Gluttony. Lust. Wrath. Sloth.
But enough about all these contestants' personal lives.
Here's another task.
Hi, Pete. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom.
Apples.
Fake. Anyway.
Got it. Ooh! Ooh!
Is that meant to happen? God didn't want it to happen.
(LAUGHTER)
What does that mean?
That's a reference to the Bible.
Some good stuff in there. Yeah?
Yeah. What's your favourite bit?
Oh, the whole the...the, um...the...
I have to do this. Sorry.
"Create and commit..."
"The eighth deadly sin."
"Most sinful eighth sin wins."
"You have 13 minutes. Your time starts now."
It says seven deadly sins. Mmm.
And I got to make up the eighth. That's right.
Sinning, sinning, sinning, sinning, sinning.
What are the sins? Come on, rattle them off.
There's gluttony. Gluttony.
Pride. Pride.
Trolling. Trolling.
Male feminists that don't mean it.
Doing roots. Is that one of them?
Doing roots. Check, quick.
Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride.
Well, I reckon you have ticked off a lot of sins.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK, so it's pretty simple.
They have to create their own sin and then commit that sin.
That's right. In this task, our contestants will be judged
not just by the Taskmaster, but by God himself.
Which I suppose technically has been true in every task
and for their whole lives.
Uh-oh.
(LAUGHTER)
Who's getting sinful first, Tom?
Sinning for the first time in her otherwise scrupulous life,
it's Mel Buttle.
Maybe we'll do a guessing game. That might be fun for you.
Here we go. See if you can guess what it is.
Starts with W. OK.
So why is the top of that, like, smaller than the bottom? That sucks.
Uh, basic.
Why is that one, like, bigger than the other two?
Like... Oh my God.
Uh!
Do you know what it is yet? Is it whinging?
It's whinging. Like...
Do you know when you go to the shops and there's someone in front of you
and they go, "Oh! Oh, jeez. Um, coffee?
"I don't know. What do you have?"
They've got all the coffees that everyone has everywhere.
That's what they've got.
And the barista's like,
"Oh, we can do a macchiato. We can do a long black."
You know what they get? Flat white every single time.
And then they're like, beep, beep, beep. "Anything else?"
They're like, "What else do we have in the cabinet?
"What's that? Spinach and..."
It's difficult because this one
I actually quite agree with what you're saying here.
You know what I also don't like?
When I text my mum and she calls straightaway. Brrr!
She should ask to call. OK.
Also, like, people who just call and don't text.
You don't want to have a conversation like it's a 1950s on a walkie...
"Hello? Over. Roger. Copy that. And how are you?"
No, thank you. (BLOWS WHISTLE)
Thanks, Tom. Thanks, Mel.
Bye. See ya.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK, so your new sin was whinging. Mm-hm.
Did you create it?
No, I created whinging, the sin.
(HUMS DRAMATICALLY) Oh.
So you rebadged whinging?
Yep.
(LAUGHTER) OK.
Any further questions, officer?
I have no chance of winning the series from my quick maths.
Is that right, Tom? Yes. Good.
(LAUGHTER)
So committing the sin just involved
you having a few minor gripes about what happens in a cafe?
What? Sorry. What?
(LAUGHS)
Sorry, I just gave up. Um...
(LAUGHTER)
Only just now?
I mean, people may turn on you at home.
Are you not worried about your, you know, your public image?
Like, you know, you want people to go to your comedy shows.
Maybe they'll see you giving up and they'll think,
"Maybe Mel just gives up halfway through a gig. I won't buy a ticket."
I would refer those people to my
45-minute I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here appearance.
(LAUGHTER)
Mel, can I just say that I tried really hard to get on that show?
I sent them an email saying...
(LAUGHTER)
I said, "I'm a celebrity. Get me onto here."
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
OK, well, if you've committed any sins yourself today,
now's a great time to perform some self-flagellation
in a desperate bid for forgiveness.
We're taking a break. See you soon for more sinning.
Welcome back to the Taskmaster season finale,
the only show where you can win the right to Peter Hellier's bladder,
including the process of ripping it out of his body,
Temple Of Doom style.
(LAUGHTER)
Where were we, Lesser Tom?
Our contestants have been playing devil's advocate.
So far we've seen five or six of the eight deadly sins,
all of them committed by Mel Buttle.
OK. Who's next?
Up next, with original sin, it's Concetta and Rhys.
A sin that really infuriates me...
Mm. ..is poor time management.
Right.
(SIGHS)
How long have I got?
10 minutes and 51 seconds.
What is a sin? What's a sin?
What do I think is horrible?
I'll get to it.
13 minutes.
Revenge. Um...
So the eighth deadliest sin is poor time management?
I haven't decided yet, I don't think.
Face that, if I take a photo...
(LAUGHS) It's not bad.
Oh, right. I'm an old man.
And just to clarify, the eighth deadly sin is poor time management?
I haven't decided yet. OK.
Oh, my God. I hate this.
Ahh!
Is that a sin?
Have you thought about your eighth deadliest sin?
Um, yeah. Um...
How long have I got?
One minute and 15 seconds. Oh.
Screaming and not stopping could be a sin.
Yeah, I think it's poor time management.
So that's your eighth deadly sin? I think so.
And are you going to do poor time management?
You have 18 seconds left.
You're a bad, bad boy.
You're a naughty, bad, bad boy.
Ahh! Ah! Ah! Ooh!
I'm sinning. Yes, this is a sin.
Imagine if I was in a shop and I just started screaming.
They'd be like, "Madam, you're sinning!"
You've got four seconds left.
I would put you on the floor and I'd let you never get up.
And you crawl around like a little rat.
And I'd throw piss and shit at you.
F you, F you, F you, F you.
Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. Bum.
Two seconds left.
Yah! Uh! Yah! Uhhh! (LAUGHS, MURMURS)
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
(CHORTLES)
(LAUGHTER)
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
You missed it. Shit.
Sorry. Thanks, Concetta.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
First, Concetta, I was worried that you were committing Rhys's sin.
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
You were taking a while to get going there.
This was so hard because I don't like to sin. Ever.
At the beginning of the task, you didn't know what a sin was.
That's because I don't sin.
I don't even know what the concept is.
And as usual, I'm going to watch someone do it way better
and figure out what I should have done.
Was there a reason for the standing on the chair to yell?
Yeah.
Tall people are sinners.
(LAUGHTER)
Rhys. RHYS: Yes.
Your sin was poor time management?
I think it encapsulates a lot of very infuriating parts of people.
Poor time management.
I like to try and be on time as much as possible.
OK, well, quite often I've been on a stand-up bill
and you're on the same bill,
and I've noticed you quite often run over time.
I do... I do not run over time.
(LAUGHTER) (LAUGHS)
I knew that would shit you!
Look at... Look.
So angry about it.
Alright, who's next, Tom?
Let he who is without sin be up next. It's Aaron Chen.
What do you find sinful?
I guess breaking a lot of Channel 10's broadcasting rules.
That's the ultimate sin in this situation.
The ultimate sin would be to do something that was unbroadcastable?
Yeah. Wow.
Like what?
Create an original ad. OK.
But then, it has to be quite an offensive...
OK. ..company.
So I'm thinking the main weapons manufacturer for Russia
in the Russia-Ukraine war.
Can you google that for me?
Main weapons manufacturer Russian war?
Yeah. China.
China. So you're saying it's a sin to be from China?
I'm not saying that. OK.
Rostec. Rostec. OK.
Are you allowed to show smoking?
No.
Alright, well, get me a cigarette.
And I'm not sure if we have any cigarettes here, but I can ask.
There's a film crew, there's going to be cigarettes.
Do you think? These guys love to smoke.
They're immoral bastards. OK.
Is this the camera?
That one.
Hi.
I'm just a regular Aussie dad, and I'm having an indoor barbecue,
which Channel 10 recommends.
I'd like to tell you about a special company
that's really close to my heart.
Rostec.
It's the main weapons manufacturer for Russia
in the Russia-Ukraine conflict,
and major sponsors of Channel 10.
If you're sick of Zelensky
and you think the Ukrainians have taken land
that is not rightfully theirs,
and is a fascist state governed by a puppet,
then you should support Rostec.
I do, and I also watch Channel 7.
(LAUGHTER)
Smoking's cool.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Thanks, Aaron. Thank you.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Well, now that we've aired that, we're going to be cancelled,
so now you can't win, but no-one can win,
because this show won't exist anymore.
Yeah. Quite sinful.
(LAUGHTER)
But you could argue...
You said you wanted to commit the sin
of making an ad that's unbroadcastable.
Was that your sin? Yes.
We just broadcast it.
Well, aren't you naughty?
(LAUGHTER)
OK, Cashman, I'm ready for one last sin. Who have we got?
Straight from the depths of hell-iar, it's Peter Helliar.
Um.
Disgust. Mm.
What... OK.
You're looking down at your body. I'm looking at my body.
My body does disgust me. Disgust me.
So, if I was to take this apple... Mm.
..and put it down my pants... OK.
..and then take a bite, that would be disgusting, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
This is my sin. It's never been done on Australian television before.
No-one has ever put an apple down their pants
and then take it out of their pants and then bitten it?
No.
Maybe Bert.
Bert may have done it once on GMA.
It's going in. It's going in?
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER)
It's in there. OK. Look. It's in there? OK.
Just confirm...
I'd rather take your word for it.
Just touch the apple. You'd like me to touch the apple?
OK. It's apple. It's all apple.
I can't confirm visually whether it's apple,
but it doesn't feel like penis.
Yeah. OK. Do a little dance.
Really get it around there? Yeah, well.
The Taskmaster's going to judge.
Oh, the Taskmaster's going to judge?
(LAUGHS) OK.
Apple is out.
OK. OK.
(GROANING, LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHTER) Oh.
Does it... Does it disgust you?
It does disgust me, actually. It does.
This is what it's come to.
Nice to be on a respectable television show.
Want a bite?
I mean, 'want' isn't the right word. You can judge how disgusting it is.
OK.
(GROANING, LAUGHTER) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Does that disgust you?
I went for a jog before this, so actually there's some...
There are some... what I would call ball sweat.
You got tears in your eyes. You're welling up.
Just going to leave that there.
Thanks, Pete. Thanks, Tom.
Just get some water. Mmm.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
So...
So we've got the old-school comedy kit bag of Peter Helliar.
You reached out... Yeah.
Are there any jokes in there? No.
Is there a wig? There's no wig.
So what do you do? You get an apple. Put it down your pants.
(LAUGHTER)
Is that how it works?
Sorry. It's just...
It's so disgusting what I did.
It was disgusting, yeah? I found it quite disgusting.
I remember asking Pete which side of it was on your...
And he wouldn't even tell me.
Because when I did the dance, I felt like twirl around.
It was all... Got it all, mate.
You got it all.
Alright, well, I have to allocate some points here.
I didn't feel that Concetta was very sinful,
so I'm giving Concetta one.
I'm going to give two points to Rhys,
because I think poor time management,
I think there are worse things you can do in the world.
I'm going to give three points to Mel.
Thank you. You are very good at whingeing.
I'm giving four points to Peter Helliar,
because that was absolutely disgusting.
I don't even know why I'm bothering to host the show anymore,
because we aren't on air because of Aaron Chen.
He's got five points. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
He's wrecked the whole network!
OK, time for me to commit a sin of my own.
Completely killing the momentum of this show by throwing to an ad break.
Keep yourself occupied.
Idle hands are the devil's playthings.
We'll see you after this.
Welcome back to the Taskmaster finale.
We're nearing the end of another glorious season,
so it's time for you to get excited,
become overwhelmed, start hyperventilating,
find this whole experience too much to bear
until you ask for the ride to stop.
But we can't stop the ride.
It's already too late.
There's nowhere for you to go.
We're already playing the next task.
That's right.
This final filmed task was the personal favourite
of the ducks on the Taskmaster retreat.
(LAUGHS)
Oh.
Hi, Tom! Hi, Mel.
I'll come to you. No, no, I'll come over to...
No, no, you stay right there.
Tom. Hi, Pete.
A cooking segment.
"Tom's plates and pancakes."
That's you. That's what I sell.
What are we doing?
Oh. He delivers.
It's quite the set-up you have here.
(SIGHS) OK.
"Dear Mel, I thought I would write this in your task card
"to get your attention.
"My name is Tom Cashman, and I think we could actually be best friends.
"Why don't you ever text me back?"
Oh, that's not happening.
Why would you write that in there?
"Successfully flip a pancake with your pan onto a plate."
"You may only select one combination of plates..."
"And pancake from Tom's..."
"Plate and Pancake Shop." OK.
"Each pancake can only be used in one attempted flip." Woop!
"The pancake flipped onto a plate..."
"From the furthest distance wins."
"You have 15 minutes. Your time starts now."
So you have a decision to make.
For the small, you get 50. 50.
For the M, you get 20. For the L, you get 5.
And for the XL you get 1.
Would this be the XL? No, that's the L.
What's the...extra large?
Would you like to see the XL?
I want to see it.
Can we get a look at the XL?
Where are you even calling to?
Oh, my God.
Oh.
How are we going to fit THAT in the microwave?
Wow.
(LAUGHS)
Hell, yeah, art department. We slayed it.
Mm-hm. It's a big plate.
So which is it?
Oh...
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) (LAUGHS)
OK, so it's a pretty straightforward task, isn't it?
That's right. They just have to flip a pancake onto a plate
from the furthest distance.
And the bigger the plate, the fewer pancakes you get to flip.
Don't worry about food wastage.
After the task was complete,
we force-fed all 250 pancakes to the ducks.
And the ducks were later fed to the crew.
(LAUGHTER)
Who's flipping first?
Will they flip on or flip off?
It's Rhys, Concetta and Mel.
Be smart, Concetta, for once in your goddamn life.
There's no way with one attempt I'm getting it on there.
I think no to that one.
I'm going to do the small. I'm going to do 50.
I think I'm going to go little guy.
Maybe this one.
Here is your plate. Put that there.
And put that on there.
And this is the vibe, right? This is what we're doing?
Here we go. Let's begin.
OK. One.
Let's just try... Wait.
I can flip it and then go for better.
All the information you need is in the task.
How long is left? 10 minutes and 43 seconds.
So you're basically a (BLEEP) clock.
That's all you are. You're just a timer.
Wow. I'm weirdly like...
Let's try this side.
Uh!
You're veering left.
That gave me no information.
Huh!
Oh, my God, I have another idea.
(LAUGHS)
On! Count that one.
Nah. Nah.
Huh!
Jordan!
I like that I've stopped getting it on there.
But I continue to move back. That's hope.
Final pancake remaining. (WHIMPERS)
I might have to herd these ducks away.
Please continue. Pretty adorable.
(GROANS)
That's one. That's one, isn't it?
If I watch this...
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Borrow your hat?
Do you like the film Mighty Ducks?
Quack! Quack! BOTH: Quack! Quack!
You think this will help?
I know it will.
How long left? 22 seconds.
You're doing it all at once? Yeah.
Wow. Ride or die.
How long left now? 10 seconds.
BOTH: Quack, quack.
How long left now? 6 seconds.
(SQUEALS)
Quack.
(GRUNTS) Missed me.
A successful flip.
Whoo!
Look at 'em. They're never giving up.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
So, Concetta, you were struggling with the task, so you put on a hat.
How did that help? What do you mean? I got it in.
It absolutely helped.
Just like you, Pete.
Even though we're, like, years apart. Um...
I... (LAUGHS)
..love a hat and a wig.
If you were to go into my comedy kit...
Yes? ..it's hats and wigs.
Now, I've got to say, um, Mel, you nailed it.
Thank you so much.
You had a repeatable task, you stuck to your method,
and you just kept doing it over and over again,
and there was almost no whingeing.
(LAUGHTER)
I almost didn't recognise you.
That's probably the best task I've done this entire season.
And...yep. (APPLAUSE)
I think it is.
I think some of the best work that you've done.
Whereas Rhys, that was the Rhys that we know.
RHYS: Yeah.
Just pelting food at a plate from a distance.
Well, I think we need some measurements,
because it's not about how many, obviously.
It's about how far away you are.
That's right. Concetta.
Her max distance achieved with her last pancake left
was 1.53 metres.
Rhys achieved 4.54 metres, but 4.64 metres for Mel.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. Three down, two to go.
Who's up next, Lesser Tom?
Will it be flipping hell or flipping heaven?
It's Aaron Chen.
OK, I'm gonna take the large plate and get five goes at this,
kind of a backboard situation.
Do you think the ducks will be a problem?
I'm not sure.
Can I get some tennis balls and gaffer tape?
Are you going to hit tennis balls at the ducks?
No, I just need tennis balls.
Alright, I'm gonna have a test run. OK.
How did your practice run go?
Yeah. I'm going to need that tennis ball stat.
That's on the plate, right?
Would you agree?
You'd be an arsehole not to agree.
It's partly on the plate.
I'm just stuffing this pancake in.
And it's all going in?
The whole pancake does not have to land.
You have to use a bit of common sense when...
..when doing this kind of stuff, Tom.
On or off? Off.
Off? Off.
Can you get me some cardboard or something like that?
OK.
You can register any pancake, right? That's right.
Was that an attempt? No.
That was like...
You know, when tennis players do that.
OK. (LAUGHTER)
It's really hard.
How much time, Tom?
1:12. 1:12?
I'm gonna do a perfect one.
This is a pretty far distance for a normal flip, right?
OK.
The ducks are back.
Ahh! (LAUGHS) 50 seconds.
Give me that ball. Give me the whole ball.
OK. 26 seconds.
26?
I have to register an easy one.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
You think you did OK? No.
I think I did pretty poorly.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Aaron, right across this season,
your lateral thinking has always paid off.
But that was so satisfying to see you do some lateral thinking,
try to find a new way to do it, and it failing.
(LAUGHTER) I loved watching it.
Fair enough. Different people love different things.
(LAUGHTER)
Aaron's successful pancake throw was 1.22 metres away.
I was just so bad at flicking the pancake from the pan.
Maybe the pancakes they gave me were kind of like...
..unevenly weighted or something.
(LAUGHTER)
I think it was the lip of the pan that was sending it down.
I don't think it was the weight of the pancakes.
And it's the lip on you that's sending YOU down.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
OK. We've got just one more flipping attempt
and one more live task.
You've made it this far. You might as well stay till the end.
We'll see you soon after the break.
Look, I know you're watching it now, but how about watching more later?
Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation
of Taskmaster Australia
with full episodes at 10play.com.au or the 10 Play app.
Welcome back to the grand finale of Taskmaster Australia season three.
It's a series finale.
For most television shows,
that means a big wedding or a major character death.
Our contestants are trying to flip a pancake onto a plate
from the furthest distance.
How is it all going to pancake out? It's Peter Helliar.
I'm going to go to the XL. You're going XL?
You've got to go for it.
It's what Taskmaster Australia is all about.
OK.
(SIGHS) Yeah, let's do it.
Pete, can I make one comment?
Yes, Tom.
You're quite far away from the plate.
(LAUGHTER) Too far, you reckon?
It's not for me to say. OK, well, come a little bit closer.
I'm nervous that when I throw it,
it's going to hit the... the lip of the pan.
Difficult to avoid. Can I use that side of the pan?
As long as you fling with the pan, it's permissible.
No lip.
Oh, this changes the game.
You going from there?
I'm going to have a little run-up. OK.
Good luck. Thank you.
(INHALES, EXHALES) Come on.
Everything you've trained for.
Go! Go!
(SLOWED) Gooooo!
It's too far away.
Should have said something.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Oh. (LAUGHTER)
Thanks, Pete. Thanks, Tom.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Big risk. Yeah.
But potentially big reward. Yeah.
I've been highly ambitious through the whole series, Tom,
as you've commented many times throughout the series.
Um, the props department who work on this show
spent a fortune on that plate.
Imagine if nobody used it.
(LAUGHTER) OK.
So that was my gift to the crew.
So are you saying after... after they called cut,
you just hung out with the crew for the rest of the day?
They carried me on their shoulders most of the day.
It was actually a really sweet moment
that I'm surprised wasn't caught on camera.
But listen. Was I too far back? Sure.
Do I have any regrets?
Yes. I should have been closer.
We should get the final scores.
Pete takes home one point. Aaron two.
Concetta three. Four to Rhys.
And Mel takes out the task with five points.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK. Well, we've nearly done it.
We've made it to the final task of the show, so let's rip in!
Go on, get up there for the live task!
OK, who's reading it out tonight?
Peter Helliar.
OK.
"Pour the most sand in your receptacle.
"There will be 90 seconds for initial pouring.
"There will be an additional round in which you may each
"individually take turns to pour your remaining sand
"into any player's receptacle.
"The order of pouring for the additional round
"will be from lowest to highest in current series order.
"Most-filled receptacle wins.
"However... (LAUGHTER)
"..if your receptacle overflows, you will be knocked out.
"The first round will begin on Tom's whistle."
Your 90 seconds commences now.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
(LAUGHTER)
CONCETTA: Oh, that's so smart.
(LAUGHTER)
10 seconds remaining.
Your hand's on the... Yeah.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Please, everyone, step over to the dots,
and take your receptacle with you.
Mel, please step over with your receptacle.
I was purple, by the way. MEL: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
OK.
Please return to your dot.
I thought you were going to go hard on...
CONCETTA: Me too. ..sabotage.
Pete, please step up.
You could... You could knock out third place.
(LAUGHTER)
Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHS)
OK.
Ah.
I'm done. TOM: OK.
Concetta, please step up with your receptacle.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
Concetta, what are you doing?
What do you mean?
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Um, I don't want to do it to Mel.
Mel's my home girl, so... PETE: Hey.
(LAUGHTER)
I'm done. TOM: Thank you, Concetta.
Rhys, please step up.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Aaron, please step up with your receptacle.
I forget whose is whose.
(LAUGHTER)
I think this is Mel's.
CONCETTA: Yeah.
Oh.
Is that mine?
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah. Can we... Can we cheers?
Cheers.
MEL: All empty. Alright.
We'll be back after the break to find out
who tonight's episode winner is,
and also who's the winner of season three.
Welcome back.
An emotional final part
of the final episode of Taskmaster Australia season three.
We got some winners to get to, Lesser Tom.
Yes, but before we do that, I would like to make an announcement.
On top of the more important prize, which is your golden head,
I would like to donate as a prize
the A tier of my business card collection.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And we know how much you love them.
Alright, let's get some live scores, please.
Well, Rhys takes one point from the live task,
having been the only person to overflow.
Mel gets two points.
Aaron three, Concetta four.
And Pete, with the most full receptacle,
gets five points from the live task.
(APPLAUSE)
Alright, so now can we add up the scores
so we can get tonight's episode winner?
Yes. We have a three-way tie between Aaron, Mel, and Pete.
A three-way tie?
You mean it's going to make things take even longer?
(LAUGHTER) Great!
So what we will do now is a live tie-break.
The live tie-break question will be how many business cards...
(LAUGHTER)
..are in my A-tier business card collection?
I'll give all three of you one clue.
The answer is between 50 and 100.
Phwoar.
(LAUGHTER)
Thank you.
Please write down your answers.
Three. Two. One. Reveal.
That's 51. That's 72.
That's 62.
The answer is 85.
Mel wins the episode!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. Congratulations, Mel.
Go and get your unreliable junk.
And that's all well and good,
but there's no point in doing anything
if we don't learn from our past.
So what have we learnt from our season finale?
We've learnt that Aaron Chen is just an Aussie dad
who loves to punch darts and support much-maligned foreign wars.
(LAUGHTER)
And we've learnt that unlike Eminem,
if you give Peter Helliar one shot, he'll screw it up.
(LAUGHTER)
And most importantly, we learnt that the winner of episode ten
is Mel Buttle.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
This is it. We've made it through ten glorious episodes.
We've seen a mother/daughter winking duo
that looked so much like a seizure
we nearly called an ambulance.
We've seen hot nightclubs and sticky ceilings.
We've made Lesser Tom a better man and a new sin to make mankind worse.
We've bullied and humiliated our comedians
and pushed them to the absolute limit,
and all of them have made it through
stronger, braver, and smarter than ever,
which admittedly isn't saying much.
(LAUGHTER)
I never say this more than once a season,
and I will deny that I've ever said it.
I'm proud of you all.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Now, everyone shut up!
This is the most important moment of the entire season,
and if I mess it up, then the whole thing looks unprofessional.
Lesser Tom, please announce the winner
of Taskmaster Australia season three.
In a commendable fifth place with 146 points, it's Mel Buttle.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
In an oh-so-close fourth place with 158 points,
it's Rhys Nicholson.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
In a two-way tie for second place on one more point, 159 points.
it's Concetta Caristo and Peter Helliar.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And that means out in front on 165 points,
our series winner for Taskmaster Australia is Aaron Chen!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And that's it.
Congratulations to Aaron.
Goodnight!
Well done. Thank you.
Funny man.
Captions by Red Bee Media