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[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYS]
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00:01:23,038 --> 00:01:25,084
SINGER:
♪ When your day
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♪ Seems dark as night
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00:01:30,437 --> 00:01:33,266
♪ And nothing
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00:01:34,789 --> 00:01:38,358
♪ Is going right
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00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,969
♪ You want a love
7
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,102
♪ That's strong and brave ♪
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00:01:44,059 --> 00:01:46,366
♪ And I'll be with you
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00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:50,544
♪ Every step of the way ♪
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♪ 'Cause oh
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♪ If you're blue ♪
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♪ And all alone
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00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:05,603
♪ And all your so-called ♪
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00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:07,170
♪ Your so-called ♪
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♪ Friends are gone
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00:02:10,999 --> 00:02:13,698
♪ But I'll stick by you
17
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♪ Pretty baby
18
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♪ Night or day ♪
19
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♪ Every step of the way ♪
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♪ 'Cause, oh
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♪ Don't worry
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[SIGHS]
SINGER: ♪ Don't worry ♪
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♪ 'Cause I'll be there ♪ Fucking chickenshit.
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SINGER: ♪ I'll be there ♪
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♪ In a hurry All right, fuck it.
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00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:45,904
SINGER: ♪ Yes ♪
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00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,036
♪ Lift your head up high
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Fucking knock
on the fucking door.
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SINGER:
♪ And girl don't you cry ♪
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00:02:52,345 --> 00:02:54,434
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
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♪ I love you ♪
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Un-fucking-believable.
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SINGER:
♪ No, no need to cry
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♪ No need to sigh
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♪ Can't you see, girl
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♪ I offer you my life
37
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:24,508
Hi.
38
00:03:25,378 --> 00:03:26,292
Hi.
39
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,077
This is you, right?
40
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:31,123
Yeah. That's me.
41
00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:34,082
Are you the actor Andy Samberg?
42
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I am.
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00:03:36,084 --> 00:03:36,955
- You are?
- SAMBERG: Yeah.
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Are you kidding? [LAUGHING]
45
00:03:38,391 --> 00:03:41,481
I'm a big fan, man.
Like, a big fan.
46
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,484
Oh, thank you very much.
Hey, I got a question for you.
47
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:47,095
Do you like limos?
48
00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:49,184
Do I like limos? Sure. Yeah.
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Who doesn't, right?
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00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,144
- TOM: Right.
- Yeah.
51
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:53,101
You wanna get in?
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00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:57,410
Uh...
53
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- Sure.
- Yeah? Come on.
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[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
55
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[SIGHS]
56
00:04:10,423 --> 00:04:12,643
Congrats. You've been selected.
57
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:15,298
Thanks. For what?
58
00:04:16,864 --> 00:04:18,213
Um, I don't know.
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00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,042
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
So, um, you know what?
60
00:04:21,129 --> 00:04:25,177
I'm not memorized, so I'm just
gonna read this off the card.
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00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:27,527
Are you talking to me or...?SAMBERG: Per the contract.
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00:04:27,614 --> 00:04:29,050
Huh? No, sorry, you're good.
63
00:04:29,137 --> 00:04:30,182
- Don't worry. Yeah.
- Okay.
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00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:32,140
Uh, Thomas Walcott.
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Single, no children,
no dependents.
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Job is network management,
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focusing on
statistical analysis.
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Physically fit.
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00:04:41,802 --> 00:04:42,890
Enough.[LAUGHS]
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I guess they're not too strict
about that one.
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00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,155
I'm joking.
Kind of serious though.
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All right.
I'll keep it going here.
73
00:04:48,635 --> 00:04:50,420
I'm sorry. I'll keep it going.
I'ma keep it tight.
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00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,986
Uh, after your breakup... I'm sorry.
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00:04:52,073 --> 00:04:53,292
...you moved back in
with your mother.
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00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,294
Yeah, I'm sorry, Andy Samberg.
How do you know all this?
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00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,209
Oh, the company that hired me,
78
00:04:57,818 --> 00:04:59,472
I think they've been
tracking you for a while.
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00:04:59,559 --> 00:05:01,300
There's a company
that's been tracking me?
80
00:05:01,387 --> 00:05:03,084
I guess what I would say is,
don't ask me
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00:05:03,171 --> 00:05:06,044
any specific questions
because they told me nothing.
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I, I don't know any details
about what it is.
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00:05:08,568 --> 00:05:12,833
But I do need to ask you,
do you want to continue
on this adventure?
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00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,010
Um...
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Fuck it. Yes.
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00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:20,885
- Really?
- Really, yeah. Definitely.
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00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,103
Why would you say yes?
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'Cause this is the most
exciting thing that's
happened to me in ages.
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[LAUGHING] And I don't
- want it to end.
- Okay.
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00:05:27,848 --> 00:05:30,851
I mean, if I say no,
then I have to go
back to my life.
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And my life is in this, like,
routine. It's, like, I'm stuck.
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So saying yes has to be
better than that, right?
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I mean, no, not necessarily.
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00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:42,428
But, man, the way you just
phrased that. So sad.
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Um... All right, let's go.
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[DISCORDANT EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
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How long until we get to, uh,
the next part of the adventure?
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[WHISPERING] You're not
supposed to talk.
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00:06:05,886 --> 00:06:06,887
How come?
100
00:06:07,888 --> 00:06:11,022
I think they just
wanna use all of this.
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Build up the tension.
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[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
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Okay. You see that red door?
Walk through it.
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There will be small red arrows
on the ground and walls.
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Just follow those.
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00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,742
- You're not coming?
- No, no, I'm done.
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00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:38,745
Yeah, they just paid me to get
you here. So...
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[SIGHS]
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Well, it was really
awesome to meet you.
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00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:44,882
Yeah.
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00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,972
- Maybe we could get a beer.
- Good luck, man.
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00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:51,715
- Yeah. Thank you.
- Yeah.
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[TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
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[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
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[MUSIC FADES]
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[ORCHESTRAL STRING MUSIC PLAYS
THROUGH SPEAKER]
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INTERVIEWER 1:
Come sit.
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Please.
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[STRING MUSIC STOPS]
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Okay.
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00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,826
INTERVIEWER 1:
Congratulations.
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You have been selected
to partake
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00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:48,353
in the biggest reality
show in the dark web.
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There will be people
trying to kill you.
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00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:52,836
The hunters.
126
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,056
TOM:
What are you talking about?
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00:08:56,143 --> 00:08:57,928
There's people trying
to murder me?
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00:08:58,058 --> 00:08:58,972
Very much so.
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00:09:00,713 --> 00:09:01,714
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
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Each participant selected
will have 30 days to... survive.
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00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:09,461
If they survive 30 days,
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00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:13,683
they will receive
one million dollars, cash.
133
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,947
The hunters will be all
around the world, Mr. Walcott,
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00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:20,080
and, uh, might not
make it to your city.
135
00:09:20,254 --> 00:09:22,561
So you will be safe
until they find you.
136
00:09:22,648 --> 00:09:24,998
You might spend the next 30 days
and never encounter anyone,
137
00:09:25,085 --> 00:09:27,174
but you still make
the million dollars.
138
00:09:28,175 --> 00:09:30,177
We will be filming
you the entire time.
139
00:09:30,264 --> 00:09:31,222
TOM: How?
140
00:09:31,744 --> 00:09:33,746
Production assistants have
already bugged your residence
141
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:36,444
as well as places
we expect you to go.
142
00:09:36,531 --> 00:09:40,971
They will travel as you do.
You will not see them.
143
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:42,886
They are highly skilled
at evasion.
144
00:09:44,104 --> 00:09:47,238
So they're kind of like
production assistant ninjas?
145
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,675
No, they are not trained ninjas.
146
00:09:49,762 --> 00:09:52,330
I didn't say trained ninjas,
I said like ninjas.
147
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:58,118
But if it helps you to say yes,
to think of them as ninjas,
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00:09:58,684 --> 00:10:00,077
we are fine with that.
149
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:03,123
Excuse me. I need to
stand up for a moment.
150
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:05,212
- Yeah, please.
- TOM: Thank you.
151
00:10:12,306 --> 00:10:13,438
What are you thinking?
152
00:10:13,568 --> 00:10:16,441
I mean, what can I do
to help you say yes?
153
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,704
Ah, nothing.
I don't think I can do this.
154
00:10:18,791 --> 00:10:20,488
Oh, you can. You should.
155
00:10:22,403 --> 00:10:25,711
Well, come sit down, yeah.
You can always say no.
156
00:10:25,798 --> 00:10:28,018
So, just come sit
for a minute. Yeah?
157
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,109
[LAUGHS]
It's very interesting, guys.
158
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:35,634
I just, I don't think that I can
do this. I can't risk
other people's lives.
159
00:10:35,721 --> 00:10:38,332
I can't, I can't have my
roommate catching a bullet
160
00:10:38,419 --> 00:10:40,247
'cause I'm playing
some silly game.
161
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,859
Your mother will be safe.
162
00:10:43,729 --> 00:10:45,818
How do you--
How can you guarantee that?
163
00:10:45,992 --> 00:10:48,429
You will only be killed
when you are alone.
164
00:10:49,648 --> 00:10:51,694
What does that mean, I'll only
be killed when I'm alone?
165
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:55,698
If you are with someone else,
the hunters will have to wait.
166
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:59,136
There is no risk to anyone else.
167
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:03,444
But once alone,
you are no longer safe.
168
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:05,577
So that's a loophole.
169
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,711
Well, this is no loophole.
It's just a rule.
170
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,016
Well, it's kind of a loophole.
171
00:11:10,756 --> 00:11:13,803
What if I was with, like,
my mom or my sisters
every second of every day?
172
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,066
You would need to spend
every moment
173
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:19,939
with them in close proximity.
It's not as easy as it sounds.
174
00:11:21,288 --> 00:11:23,073
Yeah. If the person
you're with walks
175
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,685
to the other side of the room,
you are vulnerable for attack.
176
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:30,384
You must be within
striking distance from them
177
00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:32,822
each and every second.
178
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:37,304
So let me get this straight.
It's 30 days, right?
179
00:11:37,391 --> 00:11:38,958
And you guys are hunting me
for my life.
180
00:11:39,045 --> 00:11:42,396
But you cannot touch me
if I'm with someone,
181
00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:45,748
and the hunters might not
even ever make it to my city.
182
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:48,838
So there's a chance I spend
the entire 30 days
183
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,491
and no one even finds me.
184
00:11:50,578 --> 00:11:53,538
And then I get
a million dollars.
That's the game?
185
00:11:54,582 --> 00:11:57,368
- Yes.
- Are you interested?
186
00:11:57,455 --> 00:12:01,938
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
187
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,504
[CHUCKLES]
188
00:12:05,419 --> 00:12:06,507
Let's play.
189
00:12:06,594 --> 00:12:08,466
[INTERVIEWERS CHUCKLING]
190
00:12:11,599 --> 00:12:15,038
I just wanna make sure
that I'm clear
on what you're saying.
191
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:17,954
What you called us all here on
a Saturday to say, which is
192
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:20,521
that Andy Samberg pulled up
to you driving a limo?
193
00:12:20,608 --> 00:12:23,133
- No, I, I'm not saying that.
- AMY: Okay. What are you saying?
194
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,090
He had a chauffeur.
195
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:27,702
I'd hope so.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I botched that detail.
196
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,313
Oh, you're damn right
he'd have a driver.
197
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,141
The Sams ain't driving himself.
198
00:12:31,271 --> 00:12:32,925
Don't call him The Sams.
He goes by Andy.
199
00:12:33,012 --> 00:12:35,406
- What are you, his publicist?
- Yeah, you're his
best friend now?
200
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,321
TOM: No, but he, no,
I didn't call him The Sams.
201
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:38,801
- He didn't introduce himself.
- I call him The Sams.
202
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:41,020
[AMY LAUGHS]
You've never met him.
203
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:42,761
- AMY: Andy Samberg.
- Yeah.
204
00:12:42,848 --> 00:12:45,546
Is like, "Hey Tommy,
get in, get in the backseat."
205
00:12:45,633 --> 00:12:46,678
[LAUGHING]
206
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,680
AMY:
I'm just trying to get it right.
207
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,029
I didn't, okay,
this is getting turned around.
208
00:12:50,116 --> 00:12:51,857
I'm done talking about
Andy fucking Samberg.
209
00:12:51,944 --> 00:12:53,119
If the hunters find me,
210
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,295
you need to be with me
24/7 so I don't die.
211
00:12:55,382 --> 00:12:57,994
Oh, hey, but, like, aren't there
other people playing
212
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,083
the pretend-y game who
could hang out with you?
213
00:13:00,387 --> 00:13:03,086
I posted a cryptic
message on, uh, Craigslist.
214
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:05,001
I'm waiting to hear back,
but I can't depend on it.
215
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,654
So in the meantime, I need
to lean on the family.
216
00:13:06,741 --> 00:13:10,310
Okay. Tommy, you are delusional.
217
00:13:10,397 --> 00:13:11,834
I am not delusional.
218
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,662
What about when you told
everybody at school
219
00:13:14,749 --> 00:13:16,751
that you were moving to Japan
220
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:20,320
to become a Samurai with Dad
after he left? How about that?
221
00:13:20,407 --> 00:13:22,496
Great idea. Bringing up
when Dad left,
right in front of Mom.
222
00:13:22,670 --> 00:13:25,021
MARY: Okay, what about
the time that you made us all
223
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,806
call you Michael Jackson
for a year?
224
00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:29,590
Okay, you know what, guys?'Cause I liked his music.
225
00:13:29,677 --> 00:13:31,157
No, you know what, guys?
- Stop. Stop.
- I was a fan.
226
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,332
There's a big difference
between liking--
227
00:13:32,419 --> 00:13:33,290
What is the difference?
228
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,162
Stop, stop. Just a minute, okay?
Just hang on just a minute.
229
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,991
Honey, do you think that
all this, Andy Samberg,
230
00:13:39,078 --> 00:13:43,126
Greenlandic ninjas,
the Internet killing show
231
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:47,130
is really, really more
about the fact
232
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:50,785
that Theresa broke up with you
and now she has a baby?
233
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:55,138
So you created this all
as a diversion
234
00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:57,314
so that you wouldn't have
to feel the emotional pain
235
00:13:57,401 --> 00:14:00,534
of that loss.
I mean, is that a possibility?
236
00:14:01,448 --> 00:14:02,406
Well, first of all,
237
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:04,190
thanks for bringing up
my breakup in this moment.
238
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,063
It feels like a great time
for a mother to do that.
239
00:14:07,454 --> 00:14:09,761
Um, and second, um,
240
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:12,503
if you're implying, lemme just
try to do the math on this,
241
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:16,246
that the producers of this game
242
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:17,900
implanted my ex-girlfriend,
243
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:21,164
who I haven't talked
to in nearly two years,
244
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,557
uh, with a baby.
245
00:14:23,644 --> 00:14:26,386
She grew the baby
and had it in order to get me
246
00:14:26,473 --> 00:14:29,476
to risk my life
for a million dollars?
247
00:14:29,563 --> 00:14:31,087
Right, but if all that happened,
then possibly.
248
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,785
But to me that seems
a little wacky.
Are you okay?
249
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,004
- I'm done.
- Are you okay?
250
00:14:35,395 --> 00:14:36,788
I'm done with this, Tommy.'Cause I'm worried about you.
251
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:37,789
- Tommy.
- What?
252
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,486
You're lonely,
so find a club, you know.
253
00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:40,531
Yeah. That's not
what this is about.
254
00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:42,054
- Do a hobby or something.
- Yeah, I understand.
255
00:14:42,141 --> 00:14:43,751
- Just, this is sad.
- Yeah, thanks.
256
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:46,319
AMY:
And this is all in your head.
Get over it.
257
00:14:46,406 --> 00:14:47,842
MOM:
Don't leave that ice cream,
cause I'll eat it all.
258
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,932
- Great.
- AMY: Bye, Mom.
I'll see you Thursday.
259
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,281
MOM:
Is, is it Thursday?
I thought it was Friday.
260
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:52,456
- No, it's Thursday.
- MARY: Bye, Tommy!
261
00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:53,718
MALCOLM: I hope
the ninjas don't kill you.
262
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,720
Mom. You believe me, right?
263
00:14:56,590 --> 00:14:57,635
Not even a little.
264
00:14:58,157 --> 00:15:02,248
[TENSE STRING MUSIC PLAYING]
265
00:15:05,077 --> 00:15:09,864
[ALARM RINGING]
266
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:20,484
[EERIE STRING AND PERCUSSIVE
MUSIC THROUGHOUT]
267
00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:41,461
[ALARM RINGING]
268
00:15:42,288 --> 00:15:46,292
[EERIE PERCUSSIVE
MUSIC CONTINUES]
269
00:15:58,217 --> 00:15:59,784
[ALARM RINGING]
270
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:05,877
[TENSE DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING]
271
00:16:24,939 --> 00:16:27,899
[GLASS SHATTERING]
272
00:16:36,777 --> 00:16:37,648
Hello?
273
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:49,703
Hello?
274
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:12,639
[QUIET MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
275
00:17:19,907 --> 00:17:23,302
[EERIE DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING]
276
00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:43,148
MOM:
Tommy, what?
277
00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:44,671
Someone found me.
278
00:17:45,019 --> 00:17:46,804
MOM: Oh, good.
Well, now that they found you,
279
00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:48,197
maybe you can move in
with them. [LAUGHS]
280
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,894
TOM: It was
a production assistant.
281
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,504
It was one of
the ninjas with a camera.
282
00:17:51,591 --> 00:17:53,202
Oh, God. This crap, again?
283
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:57,293
Mom, I'm holding a tiny camera
in my hands right now.
284
00:17:57,423 --> 00:18:00,165
A tiny- What are you holding
a tiny camera for?
285
00:18:00,252 --> 00:18:02,080
It's either that or a piece
of rat shit. I'm not sure.
286
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:04,474
But- Or, like, a, a weird
little blueberry.
287
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,432
Either way, do you understand
what I'm saying, Mom?
288
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,390
Yeah, I know what you're saying.
289
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:09,392
You're holding a
tiny piece of rat shit
290
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,220
and you're... Hi.
291
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:14,397
And you're
pretending that it's a camera.
292
00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,747
Put it down. Wash your hands.
It's full of diseases.
293
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,096
Okay, you're not
listening to what I'm saying.
294
00:18:18,183 --> 00:18:19,184
I need to come
see you right now.
295
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:20,881
I need to come to the hospital.
I can't be alone.
296
00:18:20,968 --> 00:18:23,797
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Mom, do you want me killed?
297
00:18:23,884 --> 00:18:25,147
MOM:
You know what, at this point,
298
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,584
I think that,
that I would prefer Sandy Amberg
299
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:29,281
to murder you on a computer show
300
00:18:29,368 --> 00:18:31,936
than have you come down here
and get me fired.
301
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:34,330
His name is Andy Samberg.
302
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:37,420
I don't care what his name...
Call your sister.
303
00:18:38,638 --> 00:18:39,552
Oh, God.
304
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:41,902
TOM: Dude,
I heard something, like, bang.
305
00:18:41,989 --> 00:18:45,210
It spooked me, man. Like,
I know they're on to me now.
306
00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:46,777
I left the back door closed.
307
00:18:46,907 --> 00:18:49,736
I mean, I get it. Your mom's
at work. It's after midnight.
308
00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,564
You can't just run over there.
309
00:18:51,912 --> 00:18:54,001
Well, this-- Yeah,
either way, man.
310
00:18:54,088 --> 00:18:55,699
I appreciate it. I didn't
know what I was gonna do.
311
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:56,787
I can't be alone.
312
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,050
Yeah, no, your sister
doesn't get home until two.
313
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:01,357
So you're more than welcome
to crash here with us
on the couch.
314
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:02,314
You'll be good.
315
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:05,491
Yeah, and then what time
do you wanna hop in there
and go to bed together?
316
00:19:06,318 --> 00:19:07,189
Huh?
317
00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:10,104
At what point you wanna--
If we hang out here,
we'll watch--
318
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:12,933
I'm beat now. I'm ready for bed.
I'll keep watching
the movie with you,
319
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:16,110
but I don't, I don't care.
I mean, I'm zonked, bro.
320
00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:18,548
You wanna sleep
in the bed with me?
321
00:19:19,331 --> 00:19:20,506
No.
322
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:24,815
[LAUGHS][LAUGHS]
323
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:26,295
Good, man.
'Cause for a second there,
324
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,905
I was a little confused
of what you were asking.
325
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,820
I have to for my safety.
326
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,998
[LAUGHS]
What?
327
00:19:34,346 --> 00:19:36,566
I have to sleep in bed
with you so that I don't die.
328
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:37,958
These are the rules, my man.
329
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:41,832
Look, bro, I don't want
you to die. I want you to
be safe. You're my brother.
330
00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:43,268
- I love you.
- I love you.
331
00:19:43,355 --> 00:19:45,923
But we not sleeping
in the same bed.
332
00:19:48,969 --> 00:19:50,536
- Yes, we are.
- No, we're not.
333
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:51,494
Yes, we are.
334
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:52,495
- No, we are not.
- Yes, we are.
335
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:53,844
- We are not.
- Yes, we are.
336
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,324
- No.
- Yes.
337
00:19:58,152 --> 00:19:59,937
- Well, goodnight, man.
- Shut the fuck up.
338
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:09,251
[CRICKETS CHIRPING][METAL CLANGS SOFTLY]
339
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:14,343
[EERIE DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING]
340
00:20:26,746 --> 00:20:28,531
Oh, shit. No, no, no, no.
341
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:31,447
Oh, no. Malcolm! Malcolm!
342
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:34,188
- MALCOLM: I'm in the bathroom.
- Ah, ah. Oh, God.
343
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,452
MALCOLM: What's going on?[GRUNTING]
344
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:39,672
MALCOLM:
I am in the bathroom
taking a shit. What's happening?
345
00:20:39,759 --> 00:20:41,152
[SCREAMS]
346
00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:43,241
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing, man?
347
00:20:43,328 --> 00:20:45,417
- Why'd you leave my side?
- I had to take a shit.
348
00:20:45,504 --> 00:20:47,419
Why didn't you wake me
up and bring me with you?
349
00:20:47,506 --> 00:20:49,291
Because I'm taking a shit.
350
00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,380
I can't be alone.
351
00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:54,078
MALCOLM: I'm not gonna wake
you up to bring you in here
to take a shit with me.
352
00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:55,819
He's right here. He's taking
a dump. He's taking a dump.
353
00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:58,125
Put the rifle down.
No, no, no.
Get up, get up, get up.
354
00:20:58,212 --> 00:20:59,388
Do not pull me off-Turn around.
355
00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:01,477
- Turn the fuck around.
- What are you doing?
356
00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:04,523
TOM: He's right here.
What the? God.
357
00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:06,699
Man, there's nobody out there.
358
00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:09,659
[CATCHING BREATH] Well...
359
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:14,359
They found me.
360
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:16,492
[SCOFFS]
They found you, alright.
361
00:21:20,104 --> 00:21:22,193
- Get out.
- Huh?
362
00:21:23,455 --> 00:21:25,239
Get out!
363
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,764
What you are doing
is irresponsible.
364
00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:29,243
You are not
thinking clearly, man.
365
00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,201
Oh, yes, I am.
366
00:21:30,549 --> 00:21:31,768
- TOM: No, you're not.
- And when Amy comes home,
367
00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:33,422
I'll explain to her that you
kicked in our bathroom door...
368
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:35,946
I was being hunted....and pulled me off the toilet.
369
00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:37,774
I can't be alone.
I've told you that.
370
00:21:37,861 --> 00:21:39,210
- I can't be alone.
- I had to go to the bathroom.
371
00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:40,342
- I'm sorry.
- What was I supposed to do?
372
00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:42,169
Wake you up so I can have
another man watch me dump?
373
00:21:42,256 --> 00:21:43,170
No, that's gross.
374
00:21:43,388 --> 00:21:44,868
I know it's gross.
I didn't wanna do it.
375
00:21:44,955 --> 00:21:47,740
I don't have a choice.
I can't be alone, man.
376
00:21:47,827 --> 00:21:48,872
Fuck.
377
00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:51,875
[OBJECTS CLANGING]
378
00:21:56,314 --> 00:21:57,489
Hey, you see that guy?
379
00:21:58,708 --> 00:21:59,578
Who, him?
380
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:01,450
- TOM: Yeah, him. Do you see him?
- MALCOLM: Yeah, I see him.
381
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:02,799
TOM: Just watch me
until I get to him.
382
00:22:02,886 --> 00:22:05,279
Please do not leave until
I'm with that man, okay?
383
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:06,280
MALCOLM:
You sure?
384
00:22:06,629 --> 00:22:08,065
Yes, I'm sure. You promise
you'll keep watching?
385
00:22:08,152 --> 00:22:10,110
I promise I'll watch you.
386
00:22:11,111 --> 00:22:14,201
I'm sorry I pulled you
off a toilet while you were
taking a dump.
387
00:22:14,288 --> 00:22:16,160
It's all right.
I'll forgive you.
388
00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:18,075
We family.
389
00:22:18,162 --> 00:22:21,557
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
390
00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:27,084
[BOTTLES CLATTERING]
391
00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:28,259
Excuse me, sir.
392
00:22:29,129 --> 00:22:32,002
Hi. Uh, are, are you interested
in making some money?
393
00:22:32,089 --> 00:22:33,264
Yeah.
394
00:22:33,351 --> 00:22:35,135
- TOM: Yeah?
- Yeah, how much?
395
00:22:35,222 --> 00:22:38,487
This is so weird. Very weird.
396
00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:40,358
TOM:
You have no idea, man.
You're saving my life.
397
00:22:40,445 --> 00:22:42,621
- Now well, how could that be?
- Because I can't be alone,
398
00:22:42,708 --> 00:22:44,275
'cause I'm playing
this dark web game.
399
00:22:44,362 --> 00:22:46,146
And so the whole thing
about it is if I'm alone
400
00:22:46,233 --> 00:22:47,409
even for a second,
I can be killed.
401
00:22:47,496 --> 00:22:48,714
But if I'm with you, I'm safe.
402
00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:50,803
So you'll just shadow
me and then I'm safe.
403
00:22:55,634 --> 00:22:57,375
AMY:
What the fuck is this?
404
00:22:57,462 --> 00:22:59,290
I'm gonna need you to be
a little bit more specific.
405
00:22:59,377 --> 00:23:00,726
You need me to be more specific?
406
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:02,946
How about the stranger who's
eating Mom's Raisin Bran.
407
00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:04,208
Is that specific enough
for you, Tommy?
408
00:23:04,295 --> 00:23:05,470
Amy, you don't have
to- don't be rude, honey.
409
00:23:05,557 --> 00:23:06,428
- Mom.
- Don't.
410
00:23:07,254 --> 00:23:10,823
You called me to come over here,
so please don't be soft now, okay?
411
00:23:11,302 --> 00:23:15,524
Malcolm told me that you pulled
him off the toilet last night
412
00:23:15,611 --> 00:23:18,222
when he was in the middle
of using the bathroom.
413
00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:20,398
Well, I asked him to stand.
He wouldn't stand.
414
00:23:20,485 --> 00:23:23,793
I'm sorry I revealed
his bare bottom.
That was not my intention.
415
00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:25,969
And this is James,
my new friend.
416
00:23:26,099 --> 00:23:27,274
Hi, James.
417
00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:28,362
Hi, Tommy's family.
418
00:23:28,493 --> 00:23:30,147
Oh, we are very happy
to have you.
419
00:23:30,277 --> 00:23:34,368
Mm. I'm very happy to be here.
I slept great last night.
420
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:35,326
Me too, man.
421
00:23:35,413 --> 00:23:36,936
Good. [CHUCKLING][CHUCKLING]
422
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:38,503
James, would you mind just
stepping outside, please,
423
00:23:38,590 --> 00:23:40,505
for a minute, so I can
talk to my son now.
424
00:23:40,636 --> 00:23:43,160
Oh, I can't do that.
He pays me to shadow him.
425
00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:44,596
It's my job.
426
00:23:44,901 --> 00:23:46,511
MARY:
Oh, wow. That is amazing.
427
00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:47,773
- Shadow?
- Good work.
428
00:23:47,991 --> 00:23:50,210
Thank you for taking my
unique situation seriously.
429
00:23:50,297 --> 00:23:52,169
It genuinely means
the world to me.
430
00:23:52,256 --> 00:23:53,692
'Cause I'm kind of
in a tough spot
431
00:23:53,779 --> 00:23:55,433
and you're the only one
who's kind of helping.
432
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,435
So thank you.
But you can step outside.
433
00:23:57,522 --> 00:23:58,610
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
434
00:23:58,697 --> 00:23:59,568
Okay.
435
00:23:59,655 --> 00:24:01,134
- Don't go far.
- I won't.
436
00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:06,488
What in the actual fuck
is going on with you?
437
00:24:06,575 --> 00:24:08,359
There was a cowboy
who had a rifle...
438
00:24:08,446 --> 00:24:10,274
- A cowboy? A cowboy.
- TOM: ...on me last night.
439
00:24:10,361 --> 00:24:12,406
And he was going
to shoot me and kill me.
440
00:24:12,537 --> 00:24:14,800
I cannot be alone, you guys.
441
00:24:15,932 --> 00:24:17,411
I thought you were
gonna be more supportive
442
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:19,805
or I never would've signed up
for this fucking game.
443
00:24:19,892 --> 00:24:22,242
Oh, that's not fair.
- Supportive.
- I support this.
444
00:24:22,373 --> 00:24:24,810
So, yes, I hired a person
without a home to shadow me.
445
00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:26,420
Why?'Cause you're a weirdo.
446
00:24:26,551 --> 00:24:28,074
Because I don't wanna die.
447
00:24:28,205 --> 00:24:30,773
You cannot have this person
sleeping in Mom's house.
448
00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:32,514
We don't know him.
It's not safe.
449
00:24:32,601 --> 00:24:34,777
TOM:
Then how about this.
Are you gonna shadow me?
450
00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:36,518
- No.
- TOM: Are you gonna shadow me?
451
00:24:36,605 --> 00:24:38,868
- No, I'm not gonna shadow.
- TOM: Are you gonna shadow me?
452
00:24:38,955 --> 00:24:41,261
I don't wanna take away
James's job.
453
00:24:41,914 --> 00:24:43,394
So what choice do I have here?
454
00:24:43,655 --> 00:24:47,137
Okay, well, Mom...
Mom, kick him out.
455
00:24:48,051 --> 00:24:49,618
He's an adult. He has money.
He's got a job.
456
00:24:49,705 --> 00:24:50,619
- Mom, we had a deal.
- Kick him out.
457
00:24:51,228 --> 00:24:52,490
You said, as long as I had
a job, I could stay with you.
458
00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:53,360
I have a job.
459
00:24:53,447 --> 00:24:54,318
- Mom.
- Mom.
460
00:24:54,405 --> 00:24:55,754
- No. Mom.
- Mom.
461
00:24:55,885 --> 00:24:57,451
Yeah, I did.
No, I did say that.
462
00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:00,933
I remember saying that.
But that, now, now this,
this whole thing
463
00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:04,154
about picking people up
off of the toilet bowls.
464
00:25:04,241 --> 00:25:06,112
Honey, that's, I mean, come on.
465
00:25:06,199 --> 00:25:10,769
That, I mean, no more of that.
Okay? All right,
that's fair I think.
466
00:25:11,030 --> 00:25:11,901
As long as I got him,
467
00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:13,903
I don't have to pull anybody
off a toilet bowl, right?
468
00:25:13,903 --> 00:25:15,382
[LAUGHS] That's why I have him.
469
00:25:15,905 --> 00:25:17,384
But that's over. That's a deal.
470
00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:19,909
Yeah, very tough, Mom.
Well done.
471
00:25:19,996 --> 00:25:24,174
[JAMES COUGHING HEAVILY]
472
00:25:25,131 --> 00:25:26,132
Whoa.
473
00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:28,526
This is gonna end badly.
I guarantee it.
474
00:25:28,613 --> 00:25:32,399
[ARABIC FUNK MUSIC PLAYING]
475
00:25:46,370 --> 00:25:50,287
[ARABIC FUNK MUSIC CONTINUES]
476
00:26:20,970 --> 00:26:22,319
MARY:
Where's your best friend?
477
00:26:22,406 --> 00:26:23,494
TOM:
I don't know.
478
00:26:23,755 --> 00:26:25,496
I tried calling him,
hopefully he's on his way.
479
00:26:25,975 --> 00:26:27,498
Long and short of it
is I gotta crash with you
480
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:28,804
- a couple of days.
- Well, you can't.
481
00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:29,761
Yes, I can.
482
00:26:29,935 --> 00:26:31,415
- No, you can't.
- I actually have to.
483
00:26:31,502 --> 00:26:33,460
- Mom kicked me out.
- Wow, 'cause you got fired?
484
00:26:33,547 --> 00:26:34,984
Yes, I had to deal with...
485
00:26:35,941 --> 00:26:37,203
Holy shit.
486
00:26:37,290 --> 00:26:39,075
MARY:
Oh my God.
Is that the Craigslist post?
487
00:26:39,162 --> 00:26:40,946
TOM:
It's also happening
to me. Shall we chat?
488
00:26:41,033 --> 00:26:42,818
- This is exactly what I want.
- Honestly, get your hands off.
489
00:26:42,905 --> 00:26:43,862
Can you just forward it to me?
490
00:26:44,254 --> 00:26:45,298
- Stay here. Don't go away.
- Just forward it to me.
491
00:26:45,385 --> 00:26:47,474
Sorry, it's really loud.
Gimme one sec.
492
00:26:47,561 --> 00:26:49,738
This is the guy from Craigslist.
493
00:26:49,825 --> 00:26:50,695
MADDY:
Oh, hi. Yeah.
494
00:26:50,826 --> 00:26:53,350
I saw your ad.
I'm a participant.
495
00:26:53,437 --> 00:26:54,568
How do I know you're real?
496
00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:55,918
MADDY:
How do I know you're real?
497
00:26:56,092 --> 00:26:58,137
Yeah, but this could be a setup.
You could be hunting me.
498
00:26:58,224 --> 00:27:00,357
- MADDY: You could be hunting me.
- TOM: Okay, so let's meet.
499
00:27:00,444 --> 00:27:02,664
You wanna meet in public
somewhere so it's safe?
500
00:27:02,751 --> 00:27:04,404
How's that? MADDY: Okay, sure. When?
501
00:27:04,491 --> 00:27:05,841
TOM:
Uh, now.
502
00:27:06,276 --> 00:27:08,234
MADDY: No, it's the middle
of the night.
I could do tomorrow.
503
00:27:09,235 --> 00:27:11,368
Okay, you know
where La Cita is downtown?
504
00:27:11,455 --> 00:27:12,630
MADDY:
No, but I can figure it out.
505
00:27:12,761 --> 00:27:14,980
Great, let's meet there
tomorrow at 10:00 AM.
506
00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:16,068
Can you do that?
507
00:27:16,242 --> 00:27:17,983
MADDY: Okay.
How are you gonna recognize me?
508
00:27:18,941 --> 00:27:21,073
You got anything yellow?
Like, a yellow hat?
509
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:22,422
MADDY:
I've got a banana sweatshirt.
510
00:27:22,509 --> 00:27:23,815
What's a banana sweatshirt?
511
00:27:24,033 --> 00:27:25,687
MADDY:
It's a sweatshirt
with a giant banana on it.
512
00:27:25,774 --> 00:27:27,863
Okay.
Wear the banana sweatshirt.
513
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,429
MADDY:
Okay, are you gonna
be wearing yellow?
514
00:27:30,039 --> 00:27:32,650
No, it would be ridiculous
if we were both wearing
yellow clothes, right?
515
00:27:32,737 --> 00:27:35,000
MADDY:
That's a good point.
I'll see you tomorrow.
516
00:27:35,087 --> 00:27:36,219
Yeah, great. This is good.
517
00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:39,048
[TENSE MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh shit!
518
00:27:39,352 --> 00:27:42,616
[THUDS][GRUNTING]
519
00:27:44,923 --> 00:27:48,187
[TENSE MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
520
00:27:50,233 --> 00:27:52,975
[GAGGING]
521
00:27:56,413 --> 00:27:57,283
Stop.
522
00:27:59,285 --> 00:28:01,070
Oh, God. Oh.
523
00:28:01,287 --> 00:28:03,376
- I'm not, I'm not alone.
- You're alone.
524
00:28:03,463 --> 00:28:05,988
I'm not! James is coming.
He's on his way right now.
525
00:28:06,249 --> 00:28:08,468
Oh, God. Oh, God.
526
00:28:08,555 --> 00:28:12,690
[GAGGING][TENSE MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
527
00:28:12,777 --> 00:28:14,779
[GROANS]
528
00:28:19,392 --> 00:28:20,567
[BOTTLE CLINKING]
529
00:28:21,177 --> 00:28:23,179
[BOTTLE CRASHES][GROANS]
530
00:28:24,093 --> 00:28:26,704
Help! Fucking help! Help! Help!
531
00:28:26,791 --> 00:28:28,706
SOS! Hey, did you
not hear me, man?
532
00:28:28,793 --> 00:28:30,882
- No, what happened?
- What the fuck
you doing standing here?
533
00:28:30,969 --> 00:28:31,970
I'm here.
534
00:28:32,405 --> 00:28:34,625
I was just choked by a giant.
He was trying to kill me.
535
00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:36,758
He, he was wearing a, a red
leather jacket with the...
536
00:28:36,845 --> 00:28:39,325
He was wearing a fucking
Michael Jackson jacket.
537
00:28:39,412 --> 00:28:41,371
He was wearing the fucking
"Thriller" jacket.
538
00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:43,590
You got choked by a giant
dressed like Michael Jackson.
539
00:28:43,677 --> 00:28:44,591
He had the zippers.
540
00:28:45,070 --> 00:28:47,116
He had the Michael Jackson
"Thriller" video zippers.
541
00:28:47,203 --> 00:28:50,336
Sorry, that's the jacket from...
That's not
the "Thriller" jacket.
542
00:28:50,728 --> 00:28:52,338
- What?
- The "Thriller" jacket?
543
00:28:52,425 --> 00:28:54,601
The one, the-
Was it a zippers jacket, right?
544
00:28:54,732 --> 00:28:56,386
Yeah. That from "Beat It."
545
00:28:56,516 --> 00:28:58,736
The "Thriller" jacket,
they're similar jackets.
546
00:28:58,823 --> 00:28:59,955
- JAMES: Tommy!
- I'm sorry.
547
00:29:00,129 --> 00:29:03,088
Tommy. I'm here. I'm sorry, man.
548
00:29:03,523 --> 00:29:05,221
- Oh, man.
- JAMES: I'm sorry, man.
549
00:29:05,308 --> 00:29:08,833
- Where the fuck were you, man?
- I was waiting for your call.
550
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,531
I fucking called you ten times.
551
00:29:11,618 --> 00:29:14,404
My phone never rang.
Maybe it's dead.
552
00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:17,799
Okay, let's just go, man.
553
00:29:19,409 --> 00:29:22,020
Tell my sister I was
almost murdered. Okay?
554
00:29:22,107 --> 00:29:23,456
I'm gonna give her
a full report.
555
00:29:24,022 --> 00:29:25,110
Thanks but hang on.
556
00:29:25,371 --> 00:29:26,895
We gotta get that thing
a charger, and we're...
557
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,202
It's pretty fucking annoying,
but also really cool
558
00:29:30,289 --> 00:29:31,987
how much you know about
Michael Jackson, man.
559
00:29:32,074 --> 00:29:33,815
I loved his music
when I was a kid.
560
00:29:38,167 --> 00:29:39,821
Thanks. Me too.
561
00:29:42,649 --> 00:29:44,521
TOM:
All right. Is your phone
100 percent charged?
562
00:29:44,608 --> 00:29:46,653
- JAMES: Yes, sir. It is.
- Okay, let's do this.
563
00:29:48,307 --> 00:29:51,702
[TENSE MUSIC THROUGHOUT]
564
00:29:55,010 --> 00:29:57,577
- TOM: I think that's her.
- JAMES: She doesn't look
that scary to me.
565
00:29:57,664 --> 00:29:59,928
TOM:
Well, you never know.
Stay with me, okay?
566
00:30:00,015 --> 00:30:02,495
JAMES:
Okay, I got your back.
Don't worry about it.
567
00:30:04,106 --> 00:30:06,848
Hi, are you, uh, are you
the lady from, uh, Craigslist?
568
00:30:06,935 --> 00:30:08,501
- Yeah.
- TOM: You are?
569
00:30:09,372 --> 00:30:11,026
Why aren't you wearing
the, uh, banana sweatshirt
570
00:30:11,156 --> 00:30:12,636
- like you said?
- Oh, I got self-conscious.
571
00:30:12,766 --> 00:30:14,116
About what?
572
00:30:14,203 --> 00:30:15,813
It's a sweatshirt
with a giant banana on it.
573
00:30:16,466 --> 00:30:18,468
But this is yellow,
so I wore this.
574
00:30:18,555 --> 00:30:19,686
Do you guys wanna sit?
575
00:30:19,773 --> 00:30:20,600
- Yeah. Let's sit down.
- Yeah, please.
576
00:30:20,687 --> 00:30:21,601
- Great.
- Uh...
577
00:30:22,211 --> 00:30:23,560
Would you mind sitting there,
- James?
- I don't mind.
578
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,170
- TOM: Oh, thanks for meeting.
- Yeah, sure.
579
00:30:25,344 --> 00:30:27,477
It's nice to meet you. I'm Tom.
580
00:30:27,564 --> 00:30:28,434
- Maddy.
- TOM: Maddy?
581
00:30:28,521 --> 00:30:29,435
- Yeah.
- TOM: Yeah.
582
00:30:29,609 --> 00:30:31,481
- How many days you got left?
- Fifteen.
583
00:30:31,611 --> 00:30:33,570
- You?
- Sixteen.
584
00:30:36,878 --> 00:30:38,488
I got a question for ya.
585
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,100
If you're playing the game,
then how the fuck
are you alone right now?
586
00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:44,102
I'm not alone.
587
00:30:45,103 --> 00:30:47,323
Well, we don't count.
We just got here. You were
alone before we got here.
588
00:30:47,323 --> 00:30:50,239
- Yeah, my Mom's right over there.
- Okay, well, that's my Dad
right there.
589
00:30:50,630 --> 00:30:51,980
- Mom?
- Yeah, oh, yeah?
590
00:30:52,415 --> 00:30:53,416
- Hi.
- Hi.
591
00:30:53,764 --> 00:30:55,940
- MADDY: Just checking in.
- MADDY'S MOM: Oh, sure. Hi.
592
00:30:56,245 --> 00:30:58,508
- Anything else I need to prove?
- TOM: Let's cut the shit.
593
00:30:58,595 --> 00:30:59,813
[LAUGHS]
594
00:31:00,075 --> 00:31:02,207
You're not with them, right?
You're not gonna murder me?
595
00:31:02,294 --> 00:31:05,036
- Are you actually asking me that?
- I really am. Yes.
596
00:31:05,776 --> 00:31:08,866
Well, if I was gonna murder you,
I wouldn't tell you.
I'd just murder you.
597
00:31:08,953 --> 00:31:11,782
Right, but I don't think
you're gonna. But just say it
so I can hear it.
598
00:31:11,869 --> 00:31:13,566
You're not gonna--No, I'm not gonna murder you.
599
00:31:13,653 --> 00:31:14,567
Are you gonna murder me?
600
00:31:14,741 --> 00:31:17,092
No, I wanna be
on the same team as you.
601
00:31:17,179 --> 00:31:18,006
Great.
602
00:31:19,007 --> 00:31:20,051
So that's settled.
603
00:31:20,747 --> 00:31:21,705
This feels good, right?
604
00:31:21,792 --> 00:31:22,880
- Mm-hmm.
- Right?
605
00:31:22,967 --> 00:31:24,447
- Mm-hmm.
- You think what I'm thinking?
606
00:31:24,534 --> 00:31:27,102
Mm-hmm.[LAUGHS] I hope so.
607
00:31:28,930 --> 00:31:31,933
You know what I think
we should do?
I think we should partner up.
608
00:31:32,020 --> 00:31:33,021
What does that mean, partner up?
609
00:31:33,369 --> 00:31:34,631
TOM:
I mean, spend
all of our time together.
610
00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:36,938
They can't kill us if we're
together, right? The loophole.
611
00:31:38,765 --> 00:31:40,202
You wanna spend
all our time together
612
00:31:40,289 --> 00:31:41,333
after knowing me
for five minutes?
613
00:31:42,073 --> 00:31:44,336
Come on, let's just do this.
Let's team up.
Let's fucking win together.
614
00:31:44,771 --> 00:31:45,772
MADDY:
Right.
615
00:31:47,426 --> 00:31:50,473
I, I don't know if I'm ready to
say okay to the full 15 days.
616
00:31:53,432 --> 00:31:54,868
[MUMBLING]
617
00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:56,653
I couldn't understand
a word you said, buddy.
618
00:31:56,740 --> 00:31:59,177
I said, "Go for what
you can get."
619
00:32:00,222 --> 00:32:02,615
Would you be willing to
commit for the rest of today?
620
00:32:03,877 --> 00:32:06,924
[ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYING]
621
00:32:13,061 --> 00:32:14,236
TOM:
Wow, look at this.
622
00:32:15,237 --> 00:32:16,890
- Beautiful house.
- Wow.
623
00:32:16,978 --> 00:32:18,196
- MADDY: Thanks.
- Yeah.
624
00:32:19,589 --> 00:32:21,939
Is it just you and, uh,
your parents here then?
625
00:32:22,026 --> 00:32:25,856
Uh, well, it's just me
and my Mom. My dad died.
626
00:32:26,378 --> 00:32:28,337
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
- No, it was a long time ago.
627
00:32:28,424 --> 00:32:30,643
- He was in a car accident.
- Oof.
628
00:32:30,730 --> 00:32:33,733
It was a drunk driver.
He was a drunk driver.
629
00:32:34,821 --> 00:32:37,215
He was a veteran though.
So his funeral
was really beautiful.
630
00:32:37,302 --> 00:32:40,044
He was kind of this, like,
beloved figure in the community.
631
00:32:40,131 --> 00:32:42,568
I don't know why
I'm saying all that.
632
00:32:42,655 --> 00:32:43,961
It's a lot of info.
633
00:32:45,484 --> 00:32:46,920
You guys wanna see
something weird?
634
00:32:47,008 --> 00:32:49,706
- Uh, yeah, sure.
- Sure, yeah.
635
00:32:51,447 --> 00:32:53,971
JAMES:
Oh, wow. [CHUCKLING]
636
00:32:54,058 --> 00:32:56,017
What is this?
637
00:32:57,105 --> 00:32:59,237
Yeah, it started as a hobby.
638
00:32:59,324 --> 00:33:01,544
I've always liked
making just, like,
639
00:33:01,674 --> 00:33:05,287
weird little sculptures,
ceramics, that kind of thing.
640
00:33:05,374 --> 00:33:08,551
But Etsy's a wild place.
You know?
641
00:33:08,638 --> 00:33:13,164
The custom, like, dog things
for people's pets and stuff?
642
00:33:13,251 --> 00:33:14,339
It kind of sells like hot cakes.
643
00:33:14,470 --> 00:33:15,297
[METAL CLANGS]
644
00:33:16,037 --> 00:33:17,038
Did you hear that?
645
00:33:17,995 --> 00:33:20,128
- It's an old house, so.
- Right.
646
00:33:21,346 --> 00:33:25,263
[QUIET MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
647
00:33:25,350 --> 00:33:28,310
Has that door
always been like that?
648
00:33:29,354 --> 00:33:31,095
MADDY:
I don't know, I don't mark it.
649
00:33:32,227 --> 00:33:34,881
Do you mind if I check it out?
650
00:33:34,968 --> 00:33:35,839
Yeah.
651
00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:38,537
- Do you mind coming with?
- MADDY: Yeah, of course.
652
00:33:39,930 --> 00:33:44,021
[MENACING MUSIC CONTINUES]
653
00:33:44,108 --> 00:33:46,197
- Do you wanna hold hands?
- Yeah, sure.
654
00:33:49,983 --> 00:33:53,378
[DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING]
655
00:34:00,429 --> 00:34:01,734
- Nothing, right?
- Yep.
656
00:34:02,257 --> 00:34:07,131
Just, um, Christmas decorations
and a couple embarrassing
old journals,
657
00:34:07,218 --> 00:34:09,655
I'm guessing.
That kind of thing.
658
00:34:11,048 --> 00:34:12,180
And a camera.
659
00:34:12,658 --> 00:34:14,399
- MADDY: No.
- Yeah.
660
00:34:14,921 --> 00:34:18,751
- The ninjas have been here.
- Holy shit.
661
00:34:19,926 --> 00:34:21,972
Little fucking snakes.
662
00:34:22,059 --> 00:34:23,278
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
663
00:34:23,365 --> 00:34:25,193
JAMES:
Well, I've never been married,
664
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:29,501
but I never wanted to.
I just like my freedom. [LAUGHS]
665
00:34:29,588 --> 00:34:30,981
Well, I've had a lot
of love affairs,
666
00:34:31,112 --> 00:34:33,114
but then, um, who hasn't?
667
00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:36,291
I'm sorry, ma'am.
What was your question?
668
00:34:37,901 --> 00:34:39,468
I didn't ask one.
669
00:34:39,642 --> 00:34:41,470
- Oh.
- I was married once, James.
670
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,515
I regret it.
Should have stayed single.
671
00:34:43,646 --> 00:34:46,649
- My ex was a pain in the ass.
- Oh, boy. I'll say so.
672
00:34:46,736 --> 00:34:50,653
I was never married,
but I did date a woman
for a long time. For 23 years.
673
00:34:51,175 --> 00:34:52,481
- Did you say 23?
- Yeah.
674
00:34:52,568 --> 00:34:53,917
- Of dating?
- Yes.
675
00:34:54,004 --> 00:34:56,615
We felt married. We just never
did the paperwork. But...
676
00:34:56,746 --> 00:34:58,139
Well, what happened?
Why did it end?
677
00:34:58,922 --> 00:35:00,532
Uh... He doesn't know.
678
00:35:00,619 --> 00:35:01,620
Oh, thank you, James.
679
00:35:02,012 --> 00:35:03,709
We got together when we
were young. We were, like, 15.
680
00:35:03,796 --> 00:35:05,537
I thought we were gonna
be together forever.
681
00:35:05,624 --> 00:35:08,714
And then, um, I don't know,
I guess we grew apart.
682
00:35:08,801 --> 00:35:11,108
One day I came home and
she said that was it.
683
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,110
And so, uh, so I left.
684
00:35:13,980 --> 00:35:14,894
And then what?
685
00:35:15,330 --> 00:35:17,070
He hasn't talked to the girl
since she dumped him.
686
00:35:17,158 --> 00:35:21,771
- What?
- Shut up, James, please.
687
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:25,253
I've gone to her house
a lot to ask her.
688
00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:28,908
I just, I don't even know
what I would say.
689
00:35:28,995 --> 00:35:30,562
So you just broke-
You just don't know why
690
00:35:30,649 --> 00:35:32,347
- she broke up with you?
- TOM: I don't.
691
00:35:32,434 --> 00:35:34,305
- Don't you wanna know?
- I would love to know.
692
00:35:34,392 --> 00:35:36,438
- MADDY: Is it killing you?
- It's killing me.
693
00:35:37,178 --> 00:35:38,657
Well, this is what
we're doing today.
694
00:35:40,181 --> 00:35:41,921
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I can't do that today.
695
00:35:42,008 --> 00:35:44,924
Oh, no. We need to find out.
If we're gonna be partners,
696
00:35:45,447 --> 00:35:47,971
I need to know
- what I'm dealing with.
- I don't think you need to know.
697
00:35:48,580 --> 00:35:49,886
Do you wanna be
my partner or not?
698
00:35:53,194 --> 00:35:57,198
Uh, this is delicious.
So what do you call it?
699
00:35:58,286 --> 00:35:59,417
Spaghetti.
700
00:36:11,995 --> 00:36:13,214
[SIGHS]
701
00:36:16,086 --> 00:36:18,523
[KNOCKING]
702
00:36:24,486 --> 00:36:26,227
[DOOR OPENING]
703
00:36:28,577 --> 00:36:31,406
- Hi, Tommy.
- Hey, Theresa. How are ya?
704
00:36:33,538 --> 00:36:35,497
Seen you out here a few times.
705
00:36:36,759 --> 00:36:39,762
How's, uh, how's your baby?
706
00:36:39,892 --> 00:36:42,939
She is good. Her name
is Heather. She's almost one.
707
00:36:44,636 --> 00:36:48,074
Are you just here
to ask about the baby?
708
00:36:48,727 --> 00:36:51,295
I actually wanted
to ask you, um...
709
00:36:52,514 --> 00:36:56,648
how you felt about the, uh,
Ellen DeGeneres cancellation.
710
00:36:56,735 --> 00:36:58,389
[LAUGHING] I know what a big
fan you were of her show.
711
00:36:58,476 --> 00:37:00,609
Yes, I was very disappointed,
as you can imagine.
712
00:37:00,696 --> 00:37:02,350
I've been dying to ask you.
713
00:37:03,046 --> 00:37:05,222
I mean, all the red flags
were there.
I should have known, but...
714
00:37:06,049 --> 00:37:07,833
Really fucked
with my afternoon schedules.
715
00:37:09,357 --> 00:37:10,227
What do you want?
716
00:37:11,359 --> 00:37:15,145
A friend encouraged me
to come here and ask you
why you broke up with me.
717
00:37:15,711 --> 00:37:17,626
You know why I broke up
- with you.
- I don't. Just tell me.
718
00:37:17,713 --> 00:37:18,583
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
719
00:37:18,844 --> 00:37:20,019
We talked about it
so many times. You know.
720
00:37:20,106 --> 00:37:21,412
We never talked.
I don't know why.
721
00:37:21,499 --> 00:37:24,372
I don't. If I knew,
I wouldn't be here, okay?
722
00:37:24,459 --> 00:37:26,417
And look, I- obviously,
we had our, our problems,
723
00:37:26,504 --> 00:37:29,333
but I mean, fuck,
we were together forever.
724
00:37:29,725 --> 00:37:30,726
We... [SIGHS]
725
00:37:31,204 --> 00:37:32,858
We were supposed
to make it work.
726
00:37:32,945 --> 00:37:34,991
- THERESA: Yeah.
- That was our fucking deal.
727
00:37:35,078 --> 00:37:37,689
Yeah, I thought so too.
728
00:37:38,081 --> 00:37:41,171
But your version of being
together is just existing
729
00:37:41,258 --> 00:37:42,999
and I needed more from life.
730
00:37:43,434 --> 00:37:45,610
Right. I don't know
what that means.
731
00:37:45,697 --> 00:37:48,613
For years, we just did
the same things all the time.
732
00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,311
We just went to
the same restaurants,
733
00:37:50,398 --> 00:37:52,008
and ate the same foods,
and sat in the same chairs,
734
00:37:52,095 --> 00:37:54,750
just to, like,
not feel anything.
735
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:58,101
But at a certain point,
I wanted to feel things,
good and bad.
736
00:37:58,188 --> 00:38:00,364
And I wanted you there with me.
737
00:38:00,843 --> 00:38:02,627
And I really tried.
738
00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:05,064
And you didn't wanna do that.
You never wanted to do that.
739
00:38:05,151 --> 00:38:07,023
You just wanted to fucking hide.
740
00:38:07,153 --> 00:38:10,026
You were just, like, stuck
and you refused to move.
741
00:38:10,156 --> 00:38:13,116
It's like you're
so afraid of feeling
that you're already dead.
742
00:38:13,812 --> 00:38:16,685
I had a lot of shit
to deal with,
and I've been working on it,
743
00:38:16,772 --> 00:38:18,948
and I have fought
to get better...
744
00:38:21,951 --> 00:38:25,084
but I don't think you wanted
to do that fight,
so I had to leave.
745
00:38:27,086 --> 00:38:29,175
Well, what would you do
if I told you, uh,
746
00:38:29,262 --> 00:38:31,439
I got better too?
What would you say then?
747
00:38:31,569 --> 00:38:36,792
Yeah, well, then I would have
to ask you who that man is.
748
00:38:42,493 --> 00:38:44,321
This is an awkward time
to explain.
749
00:38:45,322 --> 00:38:46,454
Give it a shot.
750
00:38:46,932 --> 00:38:48,151
This is James.
751
00:38:48,412 --> 00:38:52,068
He follows me for a dark web
game where I'm being hunted
752
00:38:52,155 --> 00:38:54,026
for my life
and he keeps me safe.
753
00:38:55,550 --> 00:38:56,768
[SIGHS] Right.
754
00:38:58,466 --> 00:39:02,252
Tommy, you have to deal
with your emotions.
755
00:39:02,339 --> 00:39:04,559
Okay? You deserve
better than this.
756
00:39:04,646 --> 00:39:05,473
MADDY:
You know what?
757
00:39:06,343 --> 00:39:07,300
Thank you.
758
00:39:08,301 --> 00:39:10,391
Thank you. I actually
owe you one.
759
00:39:10,521 --> 00:39:12,393
'Cause he's awesome
and now he's mine.
760
00:39:13,176 --> 00:39:15,918
- Cool. Who is she?
- MADDY: I'm his partner.
761
00:39:16,571 --> 00:39:19,095
And we're gonna go live
the fuck out of every day
762
00:39:19,182 --> 00:39:20,705
'cause we could die
at any moment.
763
00:39:20,792 --> 00:39:22,446
Yes. [LAUGHS]
Yeah.
764
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,275
And congratulations
on your baby.
765
00:39:25,406 --> 00:39:27,538
You look, I mean,
honestly, you look stunning.
766
00:39:27,625 --> 00:39:29,714
I'm so sorry. This isn't
about- this isn't about me.
767
00:39:29,801 --> 00:39:31,368
I'm so sorry.
I'm really, I'm gonna go.
768
00:39:36,982 --> 00:39:37,983
Take care, Tommy.
769
00:39:39,507 --> 00:39:40,638
Yeah, you too.
770
00:39:43,685 --> 00:39:44,642
Bye, James.
771
00:39:58,917 --> 00:40:01,398
- Good try, buddy.
- Thanks, pal.
772
00:40:01,485 --> 00:40:03,705
MADDY:
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
773
00:40:03,792 --> 00:40:05,315
I thought that was
gonna be, like, funny,
774
00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:07,404
or I don't know what I thought.
That was awful.
775
00:40:07,491 --> 00:40:08,361
That was so awful.
776
00:40:08,710 --> 00:40:09,928
It's okay. It's okay.
It needed to happen.
777
00:40:10,015 --> 00:40:11,234
- Really?
- Yes. I'm glad.
778
00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:14,193
Okay. Partners? I'm so sorry.
779
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:15,543
- Yes. [LAUGHS] Partners.
- Partners?
780
00:40:15,630 --> 00:40:17,196
Okay, can we do something
fun, please?
781
00:40:17,283 --> 00:40:18,197
Yes, please.
782
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,373
Like, what's the most
fun thing you can think of?
783
00:40:21,810 --> 00:40:26,423
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
784
00:40:26,510 --> 00:40:30,035
[ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYING]
785
00:40:43,396 --> 00:40:46,356
I am so glad we're playing
this game together.
786
00:40:47,139 --> 00:40:49,707
- I love dancing.
- It is so fun.
787
00:40:49,794 --> 00:40:52,623
- MADDY: I'm so bad at it.
- You're so good at it.
788
00:40:52,710 --> 00:40:54,843
MADDY:
I'm better than you
but I'm really bad.
789
00:40:56,148 --> 00:40:59,238
TOM:
All right, here you go.
I'm good. Thanks, bud.
790
00:41:01,763 --> 00:41:04,200
Um, I need
to tell you something.
791
00:41:04,287 --> 00:41:05,767
- Okay.
- Uh...
792
00:41:06,376 --> 00:41:08,857
My, uh, Dad didn't die.
I lied about that.
793
00:41:10,641 --> 00:41:13,426
He and my mom split up
when I was 10.
794
00:41:13,514 --> 00:41:16,691
It wasn't dramatic.
Um, no fights or anything.
795
00:41:16,865 --> 00:41:18,954
They just kind of drifted apart
796
00:41:19,041 --> 00:41:20,564
and neither of them
fought for the marriage.
797
00:41:20,651 --> 00:41:25,264
So now, um, my nightmare is
to be in that relationship,
798
00:41:25,351 --> 00:41:29,181
and I, uh, kind of end
up in these situations
799
00:41:29,268 --> 00:41:31,314
with overly dramatic people.
800
00:41:31,619 --> 00:41:36,101
Um, but then I get, like,
overwhelmed by their shit
801
00:41:36,188 --> 00:41:37,146
and I leave.
802
00:41:40,149 --> 00:41:41,716
Well, thanks for the honesty.
803
00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:46,677
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS ON SPEAKERS]
804
00:41:47,809 --> 00:41:52,117
When I was 10, my dad
vanished from the family.
805
00:41:52,814 --> 00:41:54,729
We were just hanging out
and everything was fine,
806
00:41:54,816 --> 00:41:56,992
and he and I stayed up
really late together.
807
00:41:57,079 --> 00:41:59,124
And we were playing
video games and laughing.
808
00:41:59,211 --> 00:42:01,736
And it was one of the most fun
nights I'd ever had with him.
809
00:42:02,563 --> 00:42:04,390
And then when I woke up,
he was gone.
810
00:42:04,477 --> 00:42:07,872
And we all looked for him
and we called the police.
811
00:42:09,874 --> 00:42:11,746
There was, like,
no trace of him.
812
00:42:17,186 --> 00:42:19,362
This has been
an interesting day.[TOM LAUGHS]
813
00:42:19,449 --> 00:42:21,016
- Right?
- Yeah.
814
00:42:21,799 --> 00:42:26,238
It's been a fascinating,
uh, first day,
815
00:42:26,325 --> 00:42:28,980
of our partnership
in this game together.
816
00:42:29,241 --> 00:42:30,416
Do you wanna get outta here?
817
00:42:30,503 --> 00:42:33,245
Sure. Um, where to?
818
00:42:33,724 --> 00:42:36,118
I'm sorry I didn't want James
staying here,
819
00:42:36,205 --> 00:42:39,469
but I think he was content
with the hotel room I got him.
820
00:42:39,556 --> 00:42:42,472
Oh, he was really fired up
about that hotel room tonight.
821
00:42:42,559 --> 00:42:45,127
- He's excited for the time off.
- Yeah, and, and again,
822
00:42:45,214 --> 00:42:47,608
thank you for agreeing
to sleep like this.
823
00:42:47,695 --> 00:42:49,305
You know,
I'm sorry I'm old school.
824
00:42:49,392 --> 00:42:50,523
So I just thought it would be...
825
00:42:50,654 --> 00:42:51,612
MADDY: Mom, stop....better if...
826
00:42:51,699 --> 00:42:53,091
- Stop, stop, Mom.
- Okay, okay.
827
00:42:53,570 --> 00:42:55,920
So, again, you're welcome
to use the guest room
828
00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:59,402
if you want and have your
own bed. But it's up to you.
829
00:42:59,489 --> 00:43:01,709
That's really sweet of you.
But I obviously can't be
830
00:43:01,796 --> 00:43:03,101
away from your daughter
or I'm gonna--
831
00:43:03,188 --> 00:43:07,236
Oh, oh, right. Or you'll
get murdered. I forgot.
832
00:43:07,323 --> 00:43:08,846
Oh, you know what?
833
00:43:08,933 --> 00:43:11,849
I can't talk to you about this.
This is too weird.
834
00:43:12,154 --> 00:43:14,765
You know, you're an adult
so I assume you know
835
00:43:14,852 --> 00:43:16,941
what you're doing, so goodnight.
836
00:43:17,028 --> 00:43:20,771
And I hope no one murders
either of you.
837
00:43:23,382 --> 00:43:25,036
[MADDY GIGGLES]
838
00:43:26,298 --> 00:43:29,171
- I'm sorry about my Mom.
- No, she's great. [LAUGHING]
839
00:43:29,258 --> 00:43:31,260
This is great.
840
00:43:31,347 --> 00:43:33,523
- Thank God this is here.
- Yeah, for sure.
841
00:43:35,133 --> 00:43:36,308
Otherwise it would be weird.
842
00:43:36,395 --> 00:43:37,483
[CHUCKLES][CHUCKLES]
843
00:43:37,745 --> 00:43:40,051
Yeah, it would be weird
without it. For sure.
844
00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:45,970
All right.
845
00:43:47,711 --> 00:43:48,625
Good day.
846
00:43:48,973 --> 00:43:50,583
- Glad we met.
- Mm-hmm.
847
00:44:02,857 --> 00:44:03,858
Goodnight.
848
00:44:04,336 --> 00:44:06,861
Goodnight.[CHUCKLES]
849
00:44:10,342 --> 00:44:13,868
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
850
00:44:35,759 --> 00:44:37,065
Wake up.
851
00:44:37,152 --> 00:44:38,022
My God.
852
00:44:40,938 --> 00:44:43,462
- Are you a ninja?
- Production assistant, yeah.
853
00:44:44,376 --> 00:44:46,204
Why are you letting me see you?
854
00:44:46,291 --> 00:44:48,163
Well, you're all of
our favorite character.
855
00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:50,469
We think you play
with a lot of heart.
856
00:44:50,556 --> 00:44:51,644
Thanks.
857
00:44:51,732 --> 00:44:54,212
You are not as safe
as you think you are.
858
00:44:54,299 --> 00:44:55,648
We wanted to warn you.
859
00:44:56,780 --> 00:44:59,827
Why do you keep saying "we"
when you're all by yourself?
860
00:45:00,566 --> 00:45:03,744
[TENSE MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
861
00:45:16,278 --> 00:45:17,453
Hi, guys.
862
00:45:21,979 --> 00:45:25,156
You need to go.
You are not safe here.
863
00:45:25,287 --> 00:45:27,028
Yes, I am. I'm with Maddy.
864
00:45:27,898 --> 00:45:30,031
NINJA:
Shh.
865
00:45:30,814 --> 00:45:31,815
Look.
866
00:45:37,038 --> 00:45:41,564
Be careful. They're close.
Closer than you think.
867
00:45:48,223 --> 00:45:51,661
[EERIE DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING]
868
00:46:01,236 --> 00:46:03,020
What the fuck?
869
00:46:03,107 --> 00:46:07,982
[MUSIC CRECENDOING]
870
00:46:08,069 --> 00:46:09,461
Holy-Oh my God.
871
00:46:09,548 --> 00:46:13,596
[GASPING]
872
00:46:14,205 --> 00:46:15,772
- Where were you?
- I was getting water.
873
00:46:15,859 --> 00:46:18,253
We need to go to a motel
right now, Maddy.
874
00:46:18,340 --> 00:46:20,516
- Is this about my Mom?
- What?
875
00:46:20,821 --> 00:46:22,561
Is this about, like,
the sleeping situation?
876
00:46:22,648 --> 00:46:24,868
No, it's not about
your Mom, it's about...
877
00:46:25,477 --> 00:46:27,653
There was a bunch of
contortionist ninjas in here.
878
00:46:27,740 --> 00:46:29,568
They came out of there and he,
879
00:46:29,655 --> 00:46:32,615
there was, like, six of them
in here and they told me
that it wasn't safe
880
00:46:32,702 --> 00:46:35,357
and I was in danger and we
needed to go someplace safer.
881
00:46:35,879 --> 00:46:37,620
We can just move the pillows.
882
00:46:39,622 --> 00:46:41,711
It's not about the pillows.[GIGGLES] Okay.
883
00:46:45,497 --> 00:46:46,629
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
884
00:46:46,759 --> 00:46:48,979
SINGER: ♪ I had a dream ♪
885
00:46:50,546 --> 00:46:53,157
♪ She took my hand
886
00:46:54,637 --> 00:46:58,902
♪ Led me to a wonderland
887
00:46:58,989 --> 00:47:00,077
How's this?
888
00:47:00,425 --> 00:47:02,732
- TOM: Yeah, it's better, right?
- MADDY: Oh, great.
889
00:47:05,604 --> 00:47:08,172
[TOM LAUGHS]
890
00:47:08,259 --> 00:47:09,652
Get up.
891
00:47:10,305 --> 00:47:11,915
MADDY:
No, I'm tired.
I wanna go to sleep.
892
00:47:12,002 --> 00:47:13,786
Please come out here
- just for a second.
- MADDY: What?
893
00:47:13,874 --> 00:47:15,527
'Cause I can't.
I can't go out there alone.
Please.
894
00:47:15,614 --> 00:47:17,007
- MADDY: No.
- Please.
895
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,054
[MADDY GROANS]
Thank you.
896
00:47:23,709 --> 00:47:25,233
- It's very nice.
- TOM: It's really--
897
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:26,887
- It's very pretty.
- TOM: It's pretty.
898
00:47:31,413 --> 00:47:34,764
Do you mind telling me why
you agreed to play the game?
899
00:47:35,504 --> 00:47:37,027
Why are you asking me this now?
900
00:47:37,114 --> 00:47:39,116
I'm just so curious.
901
00:47:39,203 --> 00:47:42,728
[WISTFUL MUSIC CONTINUES]
902
00:47:44,165 --> 00:47:46,080
I was very bored.
903
00:47:47,385 --> 00:47:49,605
Like, dangerously bored.
904
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,695
I felt like I needed to do
something extreme
to shake things up.
905
00:47:53,696 --> 00:47:55,306
Why did you agree to do it?
906
00:47:57,656 --> 00:48:00,442
I guess I did it, uh,
'cause I was lonely.
907
00:48:00,572 --> 00:48:04,359
I felt so alone and,
uh, stuck in my routine.
908
00:48:04,446 --> 00:48:06,013
I didn't know how
to get out of it.
909
00:48:06,100 --> 00:48:09,930
And as soon as that fucking
guy mentioned the loophole,
910
00:48:11,061 --> 00:48:12,236
a light bulb went off.
911
00:48:12,410 --> 00:48:14,456
And I thought, "Well, that's
what I've been craving."
912
00:48:15,848 --> 00:48:18,721
I want to be around people more,
so I'll do that.
913
00:48:20,462 --> 00:48:21,637
And it's worked. [LAUGHS]
914
00:48:24,857 --> 00:48:27,860
Yeah. I think we sort of
did it for the same reason.
915
00:48:27,948 --> 00:48:30,733
I bet everybody
who's played this game
has done it for the same reason.
916
00:48:30,820 --> 00:48:32,126
- Maybe.
- Maybe.
917
00:48:33,475 --> 00:48:36,434
- Let's go to bed.
- Yeah, let's go to bed.
918
00:48:37,522 --> 00:48:42,527
[MUSIC FADES][DOORKNOB RATTLING]
919
00:48:43,702 --> 00:48:46,967
[TENSE MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
920
00:48:53,843 --> 00:48:57,064
Oh no. No. We're together.
921
00:49:02,634 --> 00:49:05,463
Hey, hey. Hey, man,
we're together.
922
00:49:05,550 --> 00:49:08,162
You can't do this, man.
Those aren't the rules.
923
00:49:08,292 --> 00:49:09,772
Sorry, maintenance.
I thought the room was empty.
924
00:49:09,859 --> 00:49:11,121
Oh, fucking bullshit with you.
925
00:49:11,208 --> 00:49:12,601
If you're maintenance
then why are you dressed
926
00:49:12,688 --> 00:49:13,950
like a Mario brother?
927
00:49:14,037 --> 00:49:14,995
MADDY:
Tommy?
928
00:49:15,473 --> 00:49:17,040
What do you mean Mario brother?
929
00:49:17,127 --> 00:49:18,650
You know what I mean.
Fucking look at you.
930
00:49:18,737 --> 00:49:20,304
MADDY: Hey... No, I don't know what you mean.
931
00:49:20,391 --> 00:49:23,786
I'm also the manager of
this motel. This is our uniform.
932
00:49:23,873 --> 00:49:26,615
Well, what are you,
are you maintenance
or are you the fucking manager?
933
00:49:26,702 --> 00:49:27,746
Can't I be both?
934
00:49:27,877 --> 00:49:30,314
The, the uniform's
kind of ridiculous, so.
935
00:49:30,401 --> 00:49:32,969
Alright. I need
to improve the uniform.
936
00:49:34,014 --> 00:49:35,928
I'm sorry for interrupting
your sleep.
937
00:49:36,712 --> 00:49:39,497
Just stay out
of our fucking room, Mario.
You hear me?
938
00:49:39,584 --> 00:49:40,803
We're together now.
939
00:49:40,890 --> 00:49:44,024
[EERIE DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING]
940
00:49:49,377 --> 00:49:50,204
Well...
941
00:49:53,511 --> 00:49:54,904
if I'm Mario...
942
00:49:56,384 --> 00:49:58,473
who does that make you, huh?
943
00:49:59,430 --> 00:50:01,998
Huh? King Koopa?
944
00:50:02,085 --> 00:50:03,173
What is King Koopa?
945
00:50:03,260 --> 00:50:05,436
What? You don't know
the characters?
946
00:50:05,523 --> 00:50:06,872
MADDY: It's the bad guy
from Mario Brothers.
947
00:50:07,438 --> 00:50:09,571
- It's a really good reference.
- I'm not the bad guy.
You're the bad guy.
948
00:50:09,658 --> 00:50:10,876
I'm the guy trying to survive.
949
00:50:11,007 --> 00:50:14,097
So in your scenario
that make you Mario.
950
00:50:14,184 --> 00:50:15,838
Yeah, he's Mario.
951
00:50:16,143 --> 00:50:18,275
And that doesn't mean
I'm Princess Peach, by the way.
I'm fucking Luigi.
952
00:50:18,362 --> 00:50:19,972
[LAUGHS]
953
00:50:20,060 --> 00:50:23,193
You wanna be Luigi?
His twin brother?
954
00:50:24,107 --> 00:50:25,935
- Not the princess?
- MADDY: Well, I...
955
00:50:26,022 --> 00:50:29,025
I mean, I guess I wasn't
thinking about the fact that
it's like a bro--
956
00:50:29,112 --> 00:50:30,896
I guess Mario Brothers.
They are brothers.
957
00:50:30,983 --> 00:50:33,203
MANAGER: Yeah. I was just... I want it to be clear
958
00:50:33,290 --> 00:50:34,813
that it's, like, a partnership
and I feel like--
959
00:50:34,900 --> 00:50:37,860
Just stay out
of our fucking room.
How about that, man?
960
00:50:37,947 --> 00:50:39,079
'Cause we're together.
961
00:50:48,914 --> 00:50:51,265
MADDY:
Oh! Oh my gosh.
962
00:50:51,352 --> 00:50:53,702
- TOM: Fucking Christ.
- Oh my God. [LAUGHS]
963
00:50:53,789 --> 00:50:55,051
- That was incredible.
- Yeah.
964
00:50:55,138 --> 00:50:56,574
MADDY:
Can you imagine if I
hadn't answered your ad?
965
00:50:56,835 --> 00:50:59,142
I'd just be asleep in bed,
and instead I'm
yelling at some guy
966
00:50:59,229 --> 00:51:01,536
at three in the morning,
calling him like
a Mario Brother.
967
00:51:01,623 --> 00:51:02,754
Okay, we gotta go.
968
00:51:02,841 --> 00:51:04,452
- What are you doing?
- We have to go obviously.
969
00:51:04,539 --> 00:51:06,715
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Yes, we do.
970
00:51:07,324 --> 00:51:09,544
It's just not safe here.
We have to go.
971
00:51:09,631 --> 00:51:11,198
MADDY:
Hey. No, no, no.
972
00:51:11,459 --> 00:51:13,200
- It's safe.
- It's not safe.
973
00:51:13,287 --> 00:51:15,593
Tommy. You're not serious.
Where would we even go?
974
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,204
No, no, no, no, no, we're not...
975
00:51:17,291 --> 00:51:19,989
- We're not doing that.
- We have to do it.
976
00:51:20,816 --> 00:51:23,035
Tommy, we just-- We're fine.
977
00:51:25,821 --> 00:51:28,780
- Okay, you know what?
- I don't understand
what's happening.
978
00:51:28,867 --> 00:51:31,392
Here's what's happening.
Did you see how close he was?
979
00:51:31,479 --> 00:51:33,045
- Yes.
- Did you see how
aggressive he was?
980
00:51:33,133 --> 00:51:34,046
- Yes.
- I mean, he walked into our--
981
00:51:34,221 --> 00:51:35,657
And we're fine
'cause we're together.
982
00:51:36,875 --> 00:51:39,051
Right. But we have to be,
like, so perfect.
983
00:51:39,139 --> 00:51:40,140
Okay.
984
00:51:40,618 --> 00:51:42,229
It can't be as sloppy as it was
back at your house, right?
985
00:51:42,316 --> 00:51:44,361
- MADDY: Okay.
- It's gotta be 100 percent on.
986
00:51:44,448 --> 00:51:45,580
- MADDY: Okay.
- Or we're dead.
987
00:51:45,667 --> 00:51:48,452
Look, I really, really
like hanging with you.
988
00:51:48,539 --> 00:51:50,846
I feel like I have been
waiting for you.
989
00:51:50,933 --> 00:51:54,676
And now that I got you,
- I don't wanna die.
- MADDY: Okay.
990
00:51:55,677 --> 00:51:56,547
I'm...
991
00:51:58,941 --> 00:52:01,683
[SIGHS] I'm not going anywhere.
992
00:52:02,858 --> 00:52:03,989
Okay?
993
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,601
- Okay, I'm not going anywhere.
- Good, then...
994
00:52:07,210 --> 00:52:08,516
So then we have to
spend the next...
995
00:52:08,603 --> 00:52:09,908
Great....two weeks or so...
996
00:52:09,995 --> 00:52:11,127
Great....like fucking this.
997
00:52:11,301 --> 00:52:13,434
I'm not worried about it,
- are you?
- No, no.
998
00:52:14,261 --> 00:52:16,915
All right, well, I promise
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm with you.
999
00:52:17,002 --> 00:52:19,657
- You're not getting rid of me.
- Okay, good. Then we're--
1000
00:52:19,744 --> 00:52:21,268
- We're together.
- Yeah.
1001
00:52:21,355 --> 00:52:23,487
[BRIGHT AFROBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
1002
00:52:23,574 --> 00:52:25,315
SINGER: ♪ My love ♪
1003
00:52:25,489 --> 00:52:27,143
♪ Will you promise ♪
1004
00:52:28,405 --> 00:52:30,233
♪ To be mine
1005
00:52:30,799 --> 00:52:32,583
♪ And I'll be yours
1006
00:52:33,584 --> 00:52:35,456
♪ When the roses grow
1007
00:52:36,326 --> 00:52:38,110
♪ I'll be there to smile
1008
00:52:38,894 --> 00:52:40,504
♪ And to kiss you
1009
00:52:40,852 --> 00:52:43,115
♪ Love me more ♪
1010
00:52:44,029 --> 00:52:46,031
♪ Only heaven knows
1011
00:52:46,554 --> 00:52:48,425
♪ What's in store for us ♪
1012
00:52:49,339 --> 00:52:51,080
♪ In this simple act
1013
00:52:51,733 --> 00:52:53,387
♪ We call it love
1014
00:52:54,997 --> 00:52:56,868
♪ You bet you can't deny
1015
00:52:57,478 --> 00:52:59,523
♪ When your heart is bruised ♪
1016
00:53:00,437 --> 00:53:03,788
♪ And yet you become his love
1017
00:53:17,454 --> 00:53:19,369
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
1018
00:53:20,283 --> 00:53:21,241
Holy shit.
1019
00:53:22,111 --> 00:53:25,506
There's another participant.
Look. Look.
1020
00:53:26,246 --> 00:53:29,814
I am also playing.
I have info that you will want.
1021
00:53:32,121 --> 00:53:34,079
[LAUGHS APPREHENSIVELY][LAUGHS]
1022
00:53:34,645 --> 00:53:36,212
We don't wanna do that, right?
1023
00:53:36,734 --> 00:53:38,040
I mean, we have to see.
1024
00:53:38,954 --> 00:53:40,956
You wanna involve
somebody else? Now?
1025
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,002
I feel like we've got
a pretty good thing going here.
1026
00:53:44,089 --> 00:53:46,875
- I would rather not fuck it up.
- Right.
1027
00:53:47,441 --> 00:53:50,008
I'm feeling really good.
1028
00:53:50,618 --> 00:53:52,968
Like, kind of better than
I've felt in a while.
1029
00:53:53,098 --> 00:53:54,448
Sorry, are you listening?
1030
00:53:55,318 --> 00:53:59,191
Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I am.
There's another person playing.
1031
00:53:59,279 --> 00:54:01,368
MADDY:
Hey, you're not listening.
It sucks.
1032
00:54:03,631 --> 00:54:04,545
Maddy.
1033
00:54:05,720 --> 00:54:08,679
They could be playing the game
and they could be alone
1034
00:54:08,766 --> 00:54:11,073
and in danger and we could help.
1035
00:54:11,682 --> 00:54:14,206
Do you remember how we were
before we met each other?
1036
00:54:14,294 --> 00:54:17,601
How fucking scary that was?
How lonely we were?
1037
00:54:18,298 --> 00:54:21,779
Well, they could be
like this right now
and we could help them.
1038
00:54:22,824 --> 00:54:23,694
Right?
1039
00:54:24,782 --> 00:54:27,176
[STAMMERING]
Or they could help us.
1040
00:54:27,263 --> 00:54:28,960
They could have information
that changes our game.
1041
00:54:29,047 --> 00:54:31,398
We don't know. We have to try.
1042
00:54:31,485 --> 00:54:33,530
And what is there?
What, what's the risk?
1043
00:54:35,837 --> 00:54:38,361
Nothing. We have
each other. Right?
1044
00:54:39,580 --> 00:54:40,450
Right.
1045
00:54:41,930 --> 00:54:47,065
But this could be huge for us.
This could help
our game so much.
1046
00:54:51,722 --> 00:54:56,510
[TENSE MUSIC BUILDING]
1047
00:55:04,648 --> 00:55:05,475
Sit down.
1048
00:55:10,915 --> 00:55:14,658
- How many days you got left?
- I'm 11. She's, uh, 10.
1049
00:55:16,268 --> 00:55:17,748
[SNICKERS]
1050
00:55:18,749 --> 00:55:19,620
What's so funny?
1051
00:55:20,621 --> 00:55:24,102
I don't wanna burst your bubble,
man, but the game is a joke.
1052
00:55:24,189 --> 00:55:25,277
They're laughing at us.
1053
00:55:26,627 --> 00:55:29,934
Oh, that's good to know.
1054
00:55:30,413 --> 00:55:33,416
Right? It's a good
thing we met you.
1055
00:55:33,503 --> 00:55:35,940
Yeah, that's probably everything
we need though. We should--
1056
00:55:36,027 --> 00:55:37,246
You don't wanna know
how the game works?
1057
00:55:37,333 --> 00:55:38,465
TOM: I do want
to know how the game works.
1058
00:55:39,204 --> 00:55:40,945
Well, we're still playing.
So I don't--Of course, yeah. Please tell us.
1059
00:55:40,945 --> 00:55:45,254
They pick a certain type
of contestant.
You wanna know what the type is?
1060
00:55:45,341 --> 00:55:46,690
- Analytical.
- Kinda cute.
1061
00:55:46,777 --> 00:55:47,778
CHARLIE:
Hell no.
1062
00:55:48,344 --> 00:55:50,999
They pick people really going
through shit. Like, struggling.
1063
00:55:51,086 --> 00:55:53,088
Those are the ones
they take advantage of.
1064
00:55:53,175 --> 00:55:56,265
The kind of people when other
people start to doubt them,
1065
00:55:56,570 --> 00:55:57,962
they doubt themselves too.
1066
00:56:00,008 --> 00:56:00,965
Right.
1067
00:56:01,792 --> 00:56:04,099
Tom, I think we should go.
1068
00:56:04,839 --> 00:56:06,449
CHARLIE:
You guys ready
for the other surprise?
1069
00:56:06,536 --> 00:56:07,842
- Yeah.
- Not really.
1070
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:09,974
The show is a comedy.
1071
00:56:10,714 --> 00:56:13,108
How's it a comedy?
They're trying
to fucking kill us.
1072
00:56:13,195 --> 00:56:14,588
That's it right there.
1073
00:56:14,979 --> 00:56:18,330
The people trying to kill you
are dressed up
just to get some laughs.
1074
00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:21,508
Like me, I'm getting hunted
by a sumo wrestler
1075
00:56:21,595 --> 00:56:23,727
and a guy dressed like Sinbad.
1076
00:56:23,814 --> 00:56:25,033
A sumo wrestler?
1077
00:56:26,164 --> 00:56:28,384
And Sinbad, like, the comedian?
1078
00:56:28,471 --> 00:56:31,431
Yeah. And they're
dangerous as fuck too.
1079
00:56:31,518 --> 00:56:35,522
So the show's, like, um,
like, "Let's Make a Deal."
1080
00:56:35,609 --> 00:56:37,611
Is that the one
with Wayne Brady?
1081
00:56:37,698 --> 00:56:39,830
Yeah, it's actually-
It's a surprisingly good show.
1082
00:56:39,917 --> 00:56:42,398
- He's a great host.
- No surprises there at all.
1083
00:56:42,529 --> 00:56:44,008
That motherfucker is all talent.
1084
00:56:44,095 --> 00:56:45,096
I've never seen the show.
1085
00:56:45,183 --> 00:56:46,097
- CHARLIE: Yes.
- It's fun.
1086
00:56:46,533 --> 00:56:48,709
- CHARLIE: It's a good show.
- Okay, I'll check it out.
1087
00:56:48,796 --> 00:56:51,668
Do you even know the
title of the show you're on?
1088
00:56:51,755 --> 00:56:52,713
No, they never told me.
1089
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:54,192
- Did they tell you?
- No.
1090
00:56:55,716 --> 00:57:00,503
DOG. D, period, O, period, G.
Delusions of Grandeur.
1091
00:57:00,982 --> 00:57:03,506
You're stuck in a spider
web and don't even know it.
1092
00:57:03,593 --> 00:57:06,553
Charlie. Enough's enough.
It's time to go.
1093
00:57:07,249 --> 00:57:10,426
Bring your ass on. Now.
[MUMBLING] Gonna sit in the car.
1094
00:57:10,513 --> 00:57:14,256
That's my Dad.
He's on one. I gotta go.
1095
00:57:20,915 --> 00:57:22,351
TOM:
I don't even know, uh...
1096
00:57:23,961 --> 00:57:27,748
- what to say.
- Yeah, um, I need to go home.
1097
00:57:28,444 --> 00:57:29,880
- TOM: Yeah?
- Yeah.
1098
00:57:29,967 --> 00:57:30,968
TOM:
Great, yeah. That's smart.
1099
00:57:31,578 --> 00:57:33,101
Just to get closer to the people
and places we're familiar with.
1100
00:57:33,188 --> 00:57:35,886
No um, I'm gonna, I think
I'm gonna go home alone.
1101
00:57:35,973 --> 00:57:38,280
What does that mean, alone?
Without me?
1102
00:57:38,367 --> 00:57:40,456
Yeah, I just need,
need the night at least
1103
00:57:40,543 --> 00:57:42,589
to kind of breathe.
Does that make sense?
1104
00:57:42,676 --> 00:57:46,418
Uh, emotionally, yeah.
In terms of the game,
no, not at all.
1105
00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:48,812
Um, okay. How about this?
1106
00:57:48,899 --> 00:57:51,467
I can just drive you
wherever you want to go.
1107
00:57:51,554 --> 00:57:54,122
And maybe tomorrow
we can check in and,
1108
00:57:54,209 --> 00:57:55,863
and see where we're at kind of.
1109
00:57:56,124 --> 00:57:58,518
Or, or, or, sorry.
1110
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,695
Or we could go back to the
motel and I'll just give you,
1111
00:58:01,782 --> 00:58:03,740
- I'll just give you more space.
- MADDY: Right.
1112
00:58:03,871 --> 00:58:05,437
The motel where we sleep
in the same bed
1113
00:58:05,525 --> 00:58:07,178
and we can't be more
than three feet apart.
1114
00:58:07,309 --> 00:58:09,311
TOM: Well, we can--I can take, I can take
you wherever you want.
1115
00:58:09,398 --> 00:58:11,705
And I'll, I'll wait until
somebody's with you.
1116
00:58:12,619 --> 00:58:15,317
I think this is a really bad
idea and they could kill us.
1117
00:58:15,404 --> 00:58:18,625
[SIGHS] Yeah, um...
1118
00:58:20,061 --> 00:58:22,106
I'm okay with you thinking that.
1119
00:58:28,417 --> 00:58:30,462
TOM:
Maddy. Maddy, please.
1120
00:58:31,159 --> 00:58:36,947
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
1121
00:58:37,034 --> 00:58:37,905
What is happening?
1122
00:58:38,558 --> 00:58:39,820
I don't know where
the cameras are,
but I know they're here.
1123
00:58:40,037 --> 00:58:41,996
I know you guys have been here.
You're sneaky as fuck.
1124
00:58:42,126 --> 00:58:43,563
And I know that the ninjas
have been here.
1125
00:58:43,650 --> 00:58:45,869
I know the real name.
Delusions of Grandeur.
1126
00:58:45,956 --> 00:58:48,480
Fuck off. I got it.
Very clever. And guess what?
1127
00:58:48,568 --> 00:58:50,004
I don't care. And guess what?
1128
00:58:50,091 --> 00:58:51,832
You tried to get my
family not to believe me.
1129
00:58:51,919 --> 00:58:56,271
Well, I got James.
And guess what?
He's become a friend.
1130
00:58:56,358 --> 00:58:58,316
Maybe even a friend for life.
1131
00:58:58,403 --> 00:58:59,448
- This is your brother.
- Yeah.
1132
00:58:59,622 --> 00:59:00,928
TOM: And if I find out
Madeline gets hurt,
1133
00:59:01,319 --> 00:59:05,323
I'm gonna fucking
kill Andy Samberg.
Maddy dies, Samberg dies.
1134
00:59:05,410 --> 00:59:08,936
I'll turn that motherfucker
into a pinata.
You understand what I'm saying?
1135
00:59:09,066 --> 00:59:11,808
I'll put his head
on a fucking stick.
1136
00:59:12,026 --> 00:59:15,464
He'll be a little pinata boy.
[LAUGHS]
1137
00:59:15,551 --> 00:59:18,685
Ya fucked with the wrong guy.
I'll kill Andy Samberg.
1138
00:59:21,078 --> 00:59:24,516
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1139
00:59:34,352 --> 00:59:35,223
Tommy.
1140
00:59:37,791 --> 00:59:40,924
You gotta go. There's a limo
outside waiting for you.
1141
00:59:41,533 --> 00:59:45,189
I don't want to go
- to a limo right now.
- You don't have a choice.
1142
00:59:45,755 --> 00:59:47,539
Is this about... [SIGHS]
1143
00:59:47,627 --> 00:59:50,455
...me saying I would
murder Andy Samberg?
1144
00:59:50,542 --> 00:59:53,371
I don't know.'Cause I, I would never do that.
1145
00:59:53,458 --> 00:59:55,373
I was just saying it
'cause I was mad.
1146
00:59:55,460 --> 00:59:58,420
- I don't know. You gotta go.
- Am I in trouble?
1147
00:59:58,507 --> 00:59:59,639
I don't know.
1148
01:00:01,466 --> 01:00:02,380
Let's go.
1149
01:00:02,946 --> 01:00:07,559
[EERIE DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING]
1150
01:00:13,348 --> 01:00:17,526
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1151
01:00:59,220 --> 01:01:00,134
Hi, Tommy.
1152
01:01:01,962 --> 01:01:02,876
Hi, Dad.
1153
01:01:04,965 --> 01:01:06,096
How's your mother?
1154
01:01:07,402 --> 01:01:10,535
She's good, yeah. Mom's doing-Mary? Amy?
1155
01:01:11,058 --> 01:01:13,669
Good. Everybody's doing really
good in the last 30 years.
1156
01:01:13,756 --> 01:01:14,888
How are you?
1157
01:01:14,975 --> 01:01:17,412
Oh, real good. [LAUGHS]
1158
01:01:18,456 --> 01:01:19,414
Actually...
1159
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:23,940
Living in Cleveland, sober.
1160
01:01:24,027 --> 01:01:26,682
I'm sorry, uh, what, uh...
1161
01:01:28,292 --> 01:01:31,426
- What are you doing here?
- Right. [CHUCKLES]
1162
01:01:31,513 --> 01:01:33,036
And I don't mean
to be rude, Dad.
1163
01:01:33,123 --> 01:01:35,517
I'm just trying to do the math
on what the fuck's happening.
1164
01:01:35,604 --> 01:01:37,780
[CHUCKLING][LAUGHS] I didn't
expect to see you.
1165
01:01:37,867 --> 01:01:41,044
Well, yeah. [CHUCKLING]
Yeah. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
1166
01:01:41,131 --> 01:01:45,875
I'm here to tell you...
that Madeline is unharmed.
1167
01:01:46,789 --> 01:01:48,269
What are you talking about?
1168
01:01:51,054 --> 01:01:56,756
A few hours ago, a guy named
Wayne Brady knocked on my door.
1169
01:01:56,843 --> 01:01:59,149
Next thing I know... [CHUCKLES]
1170
01:01:59,236 --> 01:02:02,022
...I'm on a, a private jet.
1171
01:02:03,414 --> 01:02:05,373
Now I'm sitting here with you.
1172
01:02:06,287 --> 01:02:11,161
All right, Dad, well,
this was interesting but, um...
1173
01:02:11,858 --> 01:02:12,728
Tommy.
1174
01:02:14,774 --> 01:02:17,298
When I, I left,
1175
01:02:17,385 --> 01:02:19,300
when you and me stayed up--Hey.
1176
01:02:19,387 --> 01:02:22,216
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey. No.
1177
01:02:22,303 --> 01:02:24,522
No. No.
1178
01:02:24,609 --> 01:02:26,611
Don't do this right now.
1179
01:02:27,351 --> 01:02:30,093
I can't do the big fucking
Dad talk right now.
1180
01:02:30,180 --> 01:02:31,399
[STAMMERS]
1181
01:02:31,573 --> 01:02:36,447
What the fuck is going on now?
We're doing a Dad talk?
1182
01:02:36,534 --> 01:02:40,016
If I try to do a Dad talk, my
fucking head is gonna explode.
1183
01:02:40,103 --> 01:02:41,757
I understand.
1184
01:02:42,453 --> 01:02:44,107
I mean, don't get me wrong.
1185
01:02:45,543 --> 01:02:48,808
I have wanted to have
this moment with you
1186
01:02:49,809 --> 01:02:53,073
since the night
you fucking left.
1187
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:59,035
I've dreamt of this fucking
moment, man. But not now.
1188
01:02:59,122 --> 01:03:02,865
'Cause all I'm thinking about
now is Madeline's safety.
1189
01:03:02,952 --> 01:03:05,433
I like her so much.
1190
01:03:07,914 --> 01:03:11,700
I hope no one hurts her, son.
Or you.
1191
01:03:13,702 --> 01:03:18,141
And that you get to spend
your lives together.
1192
01:03:19,577 --> 01:03:23,886
Don't be like me.
Don't fuck up a good thing.
1193
01:03:27,585 --> 01:03:30,937
[SIGHING] Hey, Dad.
1194
01:03:34,854 --> 01:03:37,857
Is this real-life right now?
Is this really happening?
1195
01:03:40,076 --> 01:03:41,382
I think so.
1196
01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:46,953
Okay.
1197
01:03:48,171 --> 01:03:49,042
Okay.
1198
01:03:51,566 --> 01:03:52,610
I love you, Dad.
1199
01:03:54,525 --> 01:03:55,700
Oh, man.
1200
01:03:57,050 --> 01:03:57,877
TOM:
Mm-hmm.
1201
01:04:05,362 --> 01:04:06,973
- All right.
- Okay.
1202
01:04:11,499 --> 01:04:13,501
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1203
01:04:13,631 --> 01:04:16,373
- TOM: Been calling her for days.
- JAMES: Maybe she wants
some space.
1204
01:04:23,511 --> 01:04:24,816
Hi.
1205
01:04:24,947 --> 01:04:27,558
Hey, I've been trying you
for days. Are you okay?
1206
01:04:27,863 --> 01:04:29,996
- I'm fine. I'm fine.
- TOM: You're safe?
Hundred percent?
1207
01:04:30,083 --> 01:04:30,997
Yeah.
1208
01:04:31,649 --> 01:04:35,305
TOM: Oh my God.
- Come here, please.
- Tommy. I was lying.
1209
01:04:35,392 --> 01:04:37,220
TOM: I know, we've been
over that. I don't care.
1210
01:04:37,307 --> 01:04:38,526
No. Tommy, about the game.
1211
01:04:39,788 --> 01:04:42,530
Um. I'm not playing a game.
1212
01:04:43,270 --> 01:04:46,621
- What are you talking about?
- I saw your ad and I...
1213
01:04:47,752 --> 01:04:51,887
...was really bored
and lonely, and um...
1214
01:04:53,149 --> 01:04:57,197
I thought it was a joke.
I thought this was like...
1215
01:04:58,981 --> 01:05:01,679
...roleplaying dating
or something...
1216
01:05:01,766 --> 01:05:03,594
What are you talking about?
What is this?
1217
01:05:03,725 --> 01:05:05,509
This is the truth. I...
1218
01:05:08,512 --> 01:05:10,514
I'm so sorry. I didn't know.
1219
01:05:13,169 --> 01:05:15,476
- Who got to you?
- Nobody.
1220
01:05:15,563 --> 01:05:17,826
TOM:
Who told you to say this?
1221
01:05:18,958 --> 01:05:20,046
Tommy, nobody.
1222
01:05:20,176 --> 01:05:23,266
Yeah. Was it fucking
Wayne Brady?
1223
01:05:23,353 --> 01:05:25,312
Did Wayne Brady come here
and tell you to say that?
1224
01:05:25,399 --> 01:05:27,096
That son of a fucking bitch.
1225
01:05:27,183 --> 01:05:28,837
I can assure you Wayne Brady
was not here.
1226
01:05:28,924 --> 01:05:30,186
[PHONE DINGS]
1227
01:05:33,624 --> 01:05:35,322
Oh, for fuck's sake.
1228
01:05:37,541 --> 01:05:39,543
- They got my Mom.
- MADDY: Who got your Mom?
1229
01:05:39,630 --> 01:05:41,502
Fucking hunters, Maddy.
1230
01:05:42,155 --> 01:05:45,810
Please, please keep up with me.
James, go as fast as you can!
1231
01:05:45,897 --> 01:05:48,161
Shit. Shit. Shit.
1232
01:05:48,248 --> 01:05:52,687
[PANTING][TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1233
01:05:55,559 --> 01:05:58,823
[GRUNTING AND GROANING]
1234
01:05:58,910 --> 01:06:01,043
- IMPERSONATOR: Ah!
- Ah, God.
1235
01:06:01,957 --> 01:06:05,787
Whoo. Hi.
I, I'm Ellen DeGeneres.
1236
01:06:06,483 --> 01:06:09,051
Sorry, but you don't really look
like Ellen DeGeneres to me.
1237
01:06:09,138 --> 01:06:12,098
You're probably
a little nervous,
'cause you're a big fan.
1238
01:06:12,185 --> 01:06:13,925
You've come to my taping before.
1239
01:06:14,143 --> 01:06:16,624
Yeah? You, you and, uh,
your ex-girlfriend, didn't you?
1240
01:06:16,711 --> 01:06:18,278
Yeah, we went.
How do you know that?
1241
01:06:18,365 --> 01:06:21,455
Well, get in the car, Tom.
We can talk about it in private.
1242
01:06:21,585 --> 01:06:23,587
But it's not a limousine.
1243
01:06:23,674 --> 01:06:25,894
Well, I, I like a Lincoln.
1244
01:06:25,981 --> 01:06:27,635
Why the fuck
would you like a Lincoln?
1245
01:06:27,722 --> 01:06:30,290
Come on, don't be a car snob.
Just, just get in the car.
1246
01:06:30,377 --> 01:06:32,074
- I'm not a car snob.
- IMPERSONATOR: Tommy, please.
1247
01:06:32,161 --> 01:06:33,336
TOM: Why would you like
a Lincoln over a limo?
1248
01:06:33,467 --> 01:06:35,730
[WEAPON THWACKS][GROANS]
1249
01:06:35,817 --> 01:06:37,297
IMPERSONATOR:
Get in the fucking car.
1250
01:06:37,645 --> 01:06:41,127
Hey, it's Ellen DeGeneres
from TV.
She's giving away guest blocks.
1251
01:06:41,214 --> 01:06:42,780
JAMES:
Tommy! What the hell
happened to you, man?
1252
01:06:42,867 --> 01:06:44,391
TOM:
I got hit in the face.
1253
01:06:44,478 --> 01:06:46,741
Oh, well, that's what
happens when you go too fast.
1254
01:06:46,828 --> 01:06:49,222
- Here, gimme your hand.
- You gotta keep up with me, man.
1255
01:06:49,309 --> 01:06:51,528
MAN: Did you say
Ellen DeGeneres was here?
1256
01:06:51,615 --> 01:06:55,402
No, that wasn't Ellen DeGeneres.
It was a murderer, you asshole!
1257
01:06:55,532 --> 01:06:56,577
What?
1258
01:06:56,881 --> 01:06:59,362
- How's it look?
- Awful. Wipe your mouth.
1259
01:06:59,449 --> 01:07:00,668
MAN:
Did you just call me an asshole?
1260
01:07:00,755 --> 01:07:04,019
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1261
01:07:04,106 --> 01:07:05,064
TOM:
Almost there.
1262
01:07:05,542 --> 01:07:07,892
JAMES:
Yeah, yeah, you said
that about ten minutes ago.
1263
01:07:07,979 --> 01:07:10,634
Okay, come on, come on.
Please, please, please.
Hurry up.
1264
01:07:17,032 --> 01:07:17,989
What is this?
1265
01:07:18,294 --> 01:07:20,166
What does it look like?
It's an intervention.
1266
01:07:20,253 --> 01:07:22,124
- For me?
- No, for Mom.
1267
01:07:22,211 --> 01:07:23,604
We're all just facing
the wrong direction.
1268
01:07:23,691 --> 01:07:25,562
What the hell happened
to your tooth?
1269
01:07:25,649 --> 01:07:29,262
Oh, I got hit in the face
by an Ellen DeGeneres
impersonator.
1270
01:07:29,392 --> 01:07:31,394
- Did it hurt?
- It was a pretty clean hit.
1271
01:07:31,481 --> 01:07:33,266
Yes, it hurt,
but it's kind of fine now.
1272
01:07:33,353 --> 01:07:35,050
Hi, Tom. I'm Lindsay.
1273
01:07:35,137 --> 01:07:37,531
I'm an interventionist
and I'd like to welcome you
1274
01:07:37,618 --> 01:07:39,141
to have a seat
with us for a while.
1275
01:07:39,446 --> 01:07:42,144
Hi, Lindsay. An inter...
What do you think?
I'm a drug addict?
1276
01:07:42,231 --> 01:07:45,930
- Do you think I'm on drugs?
- No, it's about
your mental health.
1277
01:07:46,017 --> 01:07:48,324
MARY: Or, I mean--
We're not really
sure what it is.
1278
01:07:48,411 --> 01:07:51,197
Or maybe it's about attention
or, like, Theresa dumped you.
1279
01:07:51,284 --> 01:07:52,763
TOM:
Okay, well, then how
about fucking this?
1280
01:07:52,850 --> 01:07:55,636
I saw Theresa and we're good.
We talked.
1281
01:07:56,506 --> 01:07:57,812
Oh, yeah?
1282
01:07:58,291 --> 01:08:01,032
Okay, well, maybe it's about
Dad never being around.
1283
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:02,338
I saw Dad.
1284
01:08:03,122 --> 01:08:04,819
He says hi to everybody.
1285
01:08:04,906 --> 01:08:08,953
Yeah, he lives in Cleveland.
He claims to be sober,
1286
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:11,304
and he was pretty apologetic
about how he left.
1287
01:08:11,913 --> 01:08:13,349
You saw Dad?
1288
01:08:13,871 --> 01:08:16,047
Yeah, we were
in a limousine together.
1289
01:08:16,178 --> 01:08:20,313
Uh, Wayne Brady, um,
I guess found him
and put him on a private jet.
1290
01:08:22,228 --> 01:08:24,752
Wayne Brady's friends with Dad?
1291
01:08:24,882 --> 01:08:26,580
I'm not sure if Wayne
Brady's friends with him,
1292
01:08:26,667 --> 01:08:28,669
but yeah, that's what Dad said.
1293
01:08:28,756 --> 01:08:31,411
There are a lot of people in
this room who really love you.
1294
01:08:31,498 --> 01:08:32,847
So why don't you just
sit for a while.
1295
01:08:32,934 --> 01:08:35,110
- AMY: Hey, hey. Tommy?
- What?
1296
01:08:35,197 --> 01:08:36,111
AMY:
Just sit down.
1297
01:08:36,546 --> 01:08:38,853
No offense, but this woman
is ridiculously expensive,
1298
01:08:38,940 --> 01:08:40,289
so please, thank you.
1299
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:45,555
Okay, we hired someone.
We hired someone to search
for your dark web show.
1300
01:08:45,642 --> 01:08:47,209
They found nothing, honey.
1301
01:08:50,430 --> 01:08:51,431
No thanks, buddy.
1302
01:08:53,389 --> 01:08:57,959
Well, maybe the person that
you hired is part of the game.
1303
01:08:58,089 --> 01:09:00,222
Have you brainiacs
ever thought of that?
1304
01:09:00,309 --> 01:09:03,138
- Maybe it's a setup.
- MOM: Oh, Tommy.
1305
01:09:03,399 --> 01:09:06,707
Tommy, we've been down
this road so many times.
1306
01:09:06,794 --> 01:09:10,406
And it's not the first time
that you thought the world
was against you.
1307
01:09:10,493 --> 01:09:12,060
It just happens
to be the latest.
1308
01:09:13,322 --> 01:09:15,237
Honey, please accept it.
1309
01:09:21,852 --> 01:09:24,072
There's a ninja
out the window right now.
1310
01:09:24,203 --> 01:09:27,249
But don't look,
they'll just run away.
It'll make me look worse.
1311
01:09:27,336 --> 01:09:28,207
There's no ninja.
1312
01:09:28,555 --> 01:09:30,383
What's that ninja doing?
Something really cool?
1313
01:09:30,470 --> 01:09:33,168
Like, some back flips,
some kicks,
or are they just chilling?
1314
01:09:33,299 --> 01:09:34,517
Just chilling.
1315
01:09:34,778 --> 01:09:36,215
That's disappointing.
1316
01:09:36,476 --> 01:09:39,305
- MARY: Flips would've been cool.
- Okay, stop it. It's not funny.
1317
01:09:39,392 --> 01:09:41,002
MARY:
Used to be funny.
1318
01:09:41,524 --> 01:09:44,310
- Uh, excuse me, uh, Lindsay.
- LINDSAY: Yes.
1319
01:09:44,397 --> 01:09:46,268
This is a lot to take in, um,
1320
01:09:46,355 --> 01:09:48,662
and, um, I'm just wondering
before I make my decision
1321
01:09:48,749 --> 01:09:51,142
and we get to the letters,
if I can just take a minute.
1322
01:09:51,230 --> 01:09:55,146
Um, just to process and then I'm
happy to get in. Is that okay?
1323
01:09:55,756 --> 01:09:57,410
- Sure.
- TOM: Thank you.
1324
01:09:59,716 --> 01:10:02,458
Would you stop fucking snacking
and come with me, man?
1325
01:10:03,242 --> 01:10:04,852
That's all you ever say to me.
1326
01:10:04,939 --> 01:10:06,680
Stop snacking is all
I say to you? [LAUGHS]
1327
01:10:06,767 --> 01:10:08,247
- Yeah.
- That's not it.
1328
01:10:08,334 --> 01:10:10,292
- JAMES: Oh, it isn't?
- TOM: No.
1329
01:10:10,423 --> 01:10:11,989
AMY:
Well, that went really bad.
1330
01:10:12,076 --> 01:10:14,644
I can't believe one tooth
can change a face so much.
1331
01:10:14,731 --> 01:10:16,342
- Right?
- Oh! There, he's running.
1332
01:10:16,429 --> 01:10:17,778
- AMY: No, Tommy.
- TOM: Go, go, go, go, go.
1333
01:10:17,865 --> 01:10:21,129
AMY: Oh, goddamn it.
I'm calling the police.
1334
01:10:21,216 --> 01:10:24,437
[LAUGHING]
1335
01:10:25,568 --> 01:10:29,268
Man, I gotta admit, this
has been a lot of fun.
1336
01:10:30,007 --> 01:10:31,835
I agree, man.
1337
01:10:31,922 --> 01:10:35,317
It's been great having
you part of it, James.
It really has.
1338
01:10:35,404 --> 01:10:39,452
Also, you should know
my name's not James.
1339
01:10:39,539 --> 01:10:43,760
It's Walter.[LAUGHS]
1340
01:10:43,847 --> 01:10:46,981
- Is that true?
- Yes, that's true.
1341
01:10:47,068 --> 01:10:51,072
So why the fuck did you
tell me your name was James?
1342
01:10:51,159 --> 01:10:53,074
I didn't tell you my
name was James.
1343
01:10:53,161 --> 01:10:54,902
You just started
calling me James.
1344
01:10:54,989 --> 01:10:57,034
What? [CHUCKLING]
1345
01:11:01,343 --> 01:11:04,868
- I just made up James?
- Yes, you did.
1346
01:11:05,391 --> 01:11:07,044
But don't worry about it, man.
1347
01:11:07,131 --> 01:11:08,307
Um--All right.
1348
01:11:08,829 --> 01:11:10,700
- We're friends now.
- Okay.
1349
01:11:11,048 --> 01:11:13,181
- Sorry I did that.
- So you should know my real name.
1350
01:11:13,268 --> 01:11:15,488
Yeah, I agree, man. [LAUGHING]
1351
01:11:15,575 --> 01:11:17,838
Sometimes my brain
does shit, man.
1352
01:11:21,189 --> 01:11:24,366
Well, Walter, when I win this
fucking game, which I will...
1353
01:11:25,454 --> 01:11:27,674
I'd like to buy you
a place, man.
1354
01:11:27,761 --> 01:11:30,459
- For reals?
- Hundred percent.
You deserve it, man.
1355
01:11:30,546 --> 01:11:31,895
- No, no.
- You're a great fucking guy.
1356
01:11:31,982 --> 01:11:32,983
- No, no, man.
- And I don't...
1357
01:11:33,419 --> 01:11:35,725
I don't want you
- living like this.
- It's too much.
1358
01:11:35,812 --> 01:11:36,944
We're friends, right?
1359
01:11:37,031 --> 01:11:38,511
- Yeah.
- So I got you.
1360
01:11:42,428 --> 01:11:43,516
Listen to me.
1361
01:11:44,560 --> 01:11:47,476
Keep your head in the game, kid.
1362
01:11:47,563 --> 01:11:51,045
Remember what you're doing.
Remember the rules.
1363
01:11:51,132 --> 01:11:55,266
You can win. Don't quit.
1364
01:11:59,793 --> 01:12:00,707
Okay.
1365
01:12:00,794 --> 01:12:02,143
- You're good?
- Yeah.
1366
01:12:02,230 --> 01:12:03,492
Okay. Me too.
1367
01:12:03,666 --> 01:12:06,669
Okay. [CHUCKLES][CHUCKLES]
1368
01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:09,237
Boy, we are a toothless
bunch of old dudes, ain't we?
1369
01:12:09,324 --> 01:12:11,848
[LAUGHS][LAUGHS]
1370
01:12:14,329 --> 01:12:17,027
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
1371
01:12:26,994 --> 01:12:29,736
TOM:
Excuse me. Have you seen the guy
I was with, with the big beard?
1372
01:12:36,569 --> 01:12:39,136
What the fuck is going on?
James!
1373
01:12:40,529 --> 01:12:42,139
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1374
01:12:42,226 --> 01:12:43,184
Walter!
1375
01:12:54,587 --> 01:12:56,893
[TENSE DISCORDANT
MUSIC THROUGHOUT]
1376
01:12:56,980 --> 01:12:58,678
Have you seen the guy I
was with, with the big beard?
1377
01:13:00,767 --> 01:13:02,072
It's a dark web reality show.
1378
01:13:02,159 --> 01:13:03,813
I'm being hunted,
I just can't be alone.
1379
01:13:03,987 --> 01:13:06,686
So that's why I came here,
cause my family
doesn't trust me. So...
1380
01:13:10,733 --> 01:13:12,561
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE
MUSIC CONTINUES]
1381
01:13:12,648 --> 01:13:15,216
[GLASS SHATTERS][CAR HORNS HONKING]
1382
01:13:16,043 --> 01:13:18,175
I'd prefer to go home,
believe me, you know,
1383
01:13:18,262 --> 01:13:20,656
but it's only a couple
more days, so...
1384
01:13:25,531 --> 01:13:27,924
TOM: So I've got about
24 hours left, and then I win.
1385
01:13:28,011 --> 01:13:30,100
That's it. That's it.
1386
01:13:32,712 --> 01:13:34,453
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
1387
01:13:38,239 --> 01:13:43,679
[MUSIC FADES ABRUPTLY]
1388
01:13:43,810 --> 01:13:44,898
NINJA:
Wake up.
1389
01:13:46,769 --> 01:13:47,640
[SIGHS]
1390
01:13:49,859 --> 01:13:51,339
It's day 30, is it over?
1391
01:13:51,426 --> 01:13:53,210
- Did I win?
- No.
1392
01:13:53,950 --> 01:13:55,256
Then why are you here?
1393
01:13:55,778 --> 01:13:58,346
We're just here
to give you instructions
on the ending of the game.
1394
01:13:59,260 --> 01:14:00,174
Okay.
1395
01:14:01,001 --> 01:14:03,307
You can just bring out
the other ninjas,
I know they're here.
1396
01:14:11,315 --> 01:14:12,316
Hey.
1397
01:14:12,839 --> 01:14:14,841
So what happens now,
how does it end?
1398
01:14:14,928 --> 01:14:17,496
- There will be a limo.
- You need to get in it.
1399
01:14:17,583 --> 01:14:19,062
It will take you to the ending.
1400
01:14:19,759 --> 01:14:21,761
That's it. Those are
the instructions.
1401
01:14:21,848 --> 01:14:23,327
Okay, where's the limo?
1402
01:14:23,414 --> 01:14:26,156
I don't know, but, uh,
they did tell me to tell you
1403
01:14:26,243 --> 01:14:29,116
that you need to leave this area
to find the limo.
1404
01:14:29,203 --> 01:14:31,988
I have to leave here? Why?
1405
01:14:32,075 --> 01:14:33,903
They feel like the audience
is getting bored
1406
01:14:33,990 --> 01:14:35,644
watching you sleeping
under this bridge.
1407
01:14:35,731 --> 01:14:37,385
They feel like it's getting
a little depressing.
1408
01:14:37,472 --> 01:14:38,560
TOM: Really?
1409
01:14:38,647 --> 01:14:40,736
It is a comedy, remember?
1410
01:14:40,823 --> 01:14:42,651
Well, I'm sorry I'm not being
more entertaining,
1411
01:14:42,738 --> 01:14:44,479
but people are trying
to murder me.
1412
01:14:44,566 --> 01:14:47,830
We get it. But they do want
a more exciting ending.
1413
01:14:47,917 --> 01:14:49,789
That's why we got rid
of Walter in the first place.
1414
01:14:49,876 --> 01:14:52,443
They felt like your relationship
was too repetitive.
1415
01:14:52,531 --> 01:14:55,925
You took Walter?
You didn't hurt him, did you?
1416
01:14:56,012 --> 01:14:59,799
No, he's sleeping in a motel
right now until
you either win or die.
1417
01:14:59,886 --> 01:15:01,670
He's quite happy
with the set up.
1418
01:15:01,757 --> 01:15:03,585
Well I'm sure he is.
1419
01:15:03,672 --> 01:15:07,241
We recommend that you find
someone getting outta here
1420
01:15:07,328 --> 01:15:08,808
and you follow them.
1421
01:15:09,199 --> 01:15:11,158
- The limo will find you.
- Okay.
1422
01:15:12,115 --> 01:15:13,203
Maybe her?
1423
01:15:24,911 --> 01:15:30,481
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC
THROUGHOUT]
1424
01:15:39,099 --> 01:15:40,709
[TOM GROANS]
1425
01:15:42,798 --> 01:15:45,409
Sir, why'd you follow me?
1426
01:15:45,496 --> 01:15:47,063
Oh, I wasn't following you.
1427
01:15:47,150 --> 01:15:49,588
We just both happened to be
doing the same thing.
1428
01:15:56,899 --> 01:15:58,814
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
1429
01:15:58,901 --> 01:16:01,034
How are you doing, Mr. Walcott?
1430
01:16:02,862 --> 01:16:05,386
Boy, you have been
one hell of a contestant.
1431
01:16:05,473 --> 01:16:07,083
Excuse me, can you see him?
1432
01:16:08,084 --> 01:16:09,869
Stop talking to me.
1433
01:16:11,522 --> 01:16:14,438
Mm-hmm. Woah.
1434
01:16:14,525 --> 01:16:16,745
I'm not alone. We're together.
1435
01:16:16,832 --> 01:16:20,880
[CHUCKLING] You will be.
And I'm a patient man.
1436
01:16:20,967 --> 01:16:22,316
Do you mind if I ask you
a question?
1437
01:16:23,447 --> 01:16:24,535
Go ahead.
1438
01:16:27,016 --> 01:16:28,844
Have you figured it out?
1439
01:16:30,672 --> 01:16:33,762
That this whole game
was set up just for you?
1440
01:16:35,068 --> 01:16:37,505
All that Michael Jackson shit.
1441
01:16:38,637 --> 01:16:41,422
You and your dad
playing video games,
1442
01:16:41,683 --> 01:16:43,903
and your ex
with Ellen DeGeneres.
1443
01:16:45,644 --> 01:16:48,777
[GENTLE EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
1444
01:16:49,865 --> 01:16:51,388
So then who are you?
1445
01:16:51,780 --> 01:16:55,566
I think maybe you watched
a few too many westerns, huh?
1446
01:16:56,742 --> 01:17:00,180
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1447
01:17:09,493 --> 01:17:12,888
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE
MUSIC THROUGHOUT]
1448
01:17:43,005 --> 01:17:45,268
[DRAMATIC PERCUSSIVE
MUSIC PLAYING]
1449
01:17:45,355 --> 01:17:47,967
[PANTING]
1450
01:17:52,841 --> 01:17:55,365
[CAR TIRES SQUEAL]
1451
01:17:58,194 --> 01:17:59,587
[SCREAMS]
1452
01:18:00,806 --> 01:18:02,416
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE
MUSIC CONTINUES]
1453
01:18:02,503 --> 01:18:05,027
[CAR ENGINE REVS]
1454
01:18:05,158 --> 01:18:08,465
[CAR BRAKES SCREECH]
1455
01:18:15,298 --> 01:18:17,344
[GASPING]
1456
01:18:22,218 --> 01:18:25,265
[TIRES SCREECH]
1457
01:18:25,961 --> 01:18:27,571
[BREATHING HEAVY,
CLEARING THROAT]
1458
01:18:30,139 --> 01:18:31,097
Hi.
1459
01:18:32,228 --> 01:18:34,274
- Me again.
- Hi.
1460
01:18:34,578 --> 01:18:36,755
So, you been having fun?
1461
01:18:36,885 --> 01:18:38,844
Did you just ask
if I was having fun?
1462
01:18:38,931 --> 01:18:40,889
Um... yes?
1463
01:18:40,976 --> 01:18:43,805
No! I'm not having fun!
1464
01:18:43,892 --> 01:18:44,763
Okay.
1465
01:18:45,328 --> 01:18:48,070
This has been
a goddamn nightmare,
Andy Samberg.
1466
01:18:48,157 --> 01:18:50,594
Well I'm sorry to hear that.
But truth be told...
1467
01:18:51,465 --> 01:18:54,250
since I last saw you,
things haven't been
that great for me either. So...
1468
01:18:55,948 --> 01:18:58,820
[CLEARS THROAT] Been on
a little bit of a bender.
1469
01:18:58,907 --> 01:19:01,301
- You've been on a bender?
- SAMBERG: Lot of ups and downs.
1470
01:19:01,562 --> 01:19:04,434
[CHUCKLING]
Currently in a big down.
1471
01:19:05,653 --> 01:19:10,136
In a big down.
Thus, me, back here with you.
1472
01:19:10,571 --> 01:19:12,573
- For a little money gig.
- What do you even want?
1473
01:19:12,660 --> 01:19:13,792
You know what,
you're actually totally right.
1474
01:19:13,879 --> 01:19:15,141
I'm gonna keep this moving
1475
01:19:15,271 --> 01:19:17,708
so I can get paid, you can
be on your way, and I can...
1476
01:19:18,971 --> 01:19:20,668
[SINGING] ♪ Take it back
to squeaky street. ♪
1477
01:19:20,755 --> 01:19:22,801
[CHUCKLING] I'm just kidding!
1478
01:19:23,671 --> 01:19:24,890
No more of that.
1479
01:19:25,238 --> 01:19:26,848
Just getting my money so I can
pay everyone back that I owe.
1480
01:19:26,935 --> 01:19:28,371
If you're watching,
I'm just joking around,
1481
01:19:28,458 --> 01:19:30,243
you're gonna get your money.
Here we go. [CLEARS THROAT]
1482
01:19:31,635 --> 01:19:34,073
Thomas Walcott.
Smelly, no tooth.
1483
01:19:34,160 --> 01:19:35,988
Doesn't really say that,
I was just joking.
1484
01:19:36,075 --> 01:19:39,121
Gotta keep it light.
Congratulations.
You have made it to the limo.
1485
01:19:39,208 --> 01:19:42,298
But the game is not over.
You have a choice.
1486
01:19:42,385 --> 01:19:45,519
Do you want to continue playing,
or end it now,
1487
01:19:45,606 --> 01:19:48,565
and return to your home safely
but receive no money?
1488
01:19:52,526 --> 01:19:54,441
- I'm gonna do it.
- Really?
1489
01:19:54,528 --> 01:19:58,488
Yeah, really.
I've come this far,
I need to finish what I started.
1490
01:19:58,575 --> 01:20:00,882
Why would you--
You know what? Fine.
1491
01:20:00,969 --> 01:20:03,058
I get paid more
if you keep going, so great.
1492
01:20:03,667 --> 01:20:05,582
He wants to keep going.
Let's keep going.
1493
01:20:05,887 --> 01:20:06,845
[TIRES SQUEAL][ENGINE HUMS]
1494
01:20:06,975 --> 01:20:09,848
[GROANING] Jesus fucking Christ.
1495
01:20:12,372 --> 01:20:14,504
Hey uh, would you do me a favor?
Roll your window down.
1496
01:20:14,591 --> 01:20:16,637
You're pretty ripe.
1497
01:20:17,768 --> 01:20:21,860
[WINDOW HUMS][SIGHS] Thank you.
1498
01:20:32,435 --> 01:20:35,961
Okay. Good luck, man.
1499
01:20:40,008 --> 01:20:45,709
[TENSE PERCUSSIVE
MUSIC THROUGHOUT]
1500
01:20:45,796 --> 01:20:50,018
[TIRES SQUEAL]
1501
01:20:56,546 --> 01:20:57,591
WRESTLER:
Hey, boo.
1502
01:20:58,287 --> 01:21:01,160
Can I talk to you? I got some
information about Maddy.
1503
01:21:01,247 --> 01:21:04,467
Hey, Tommy, come this way.
Towards me.
1504
01:21:04,554 --> 01:21:06,643
- We're friends with Charlie.
- Sinbad...
1505
01:21:06,730 --> 01:21:08,254
- Come here.
- Fuck. [YELLS]
1506
01:21:08,341 --> 01:21:09,908
Tommy.[GRUNTING]
1507
01:21:10,821 --> 01:21:14,913
[SHOUTING INCOHERENTLY]
1508
01:21:21,310 --> 01:21:23,008
SINBAD: Tommy![YELLS]
1509
01:21:23,486 --> 01:21:27,142
[SHOUTING AND GROANING]
1510
01:21:31,103 --> 01:21:33,975
SAMURAI: [SHOUTING][YELLS]
1511
01:21:35,542 --> 01:21:37,500
TOM: Holy shit.
1512
01:21:37,848 --> 01:21:40,764
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
1513
01:21:40,939 --> 01:21:46,074
[YELLING AND PANTING]
1514
01:21:48,685 --> 01:21:51,601
I won! I won! I won!
1515
01:21:52,602 --> 01:21:57,738
[UNNERVING MUSIC PLAYING]
1516
01:22:01,481 --> 01:22:06,268
Where are the fucking guys?
I won!
1517
01:22:10,664 --> 01:22:14,233
It's been 30 days. The limo
picked me up, I made it!
1518
01:22:14,842 --> 01:22:16,931
I told you when
we were sitting here,
1519
01:22:17,062 --> 01:22:19,368
your game was beatable,
and it was.
1520
01:22:19,455 --> 01:22:21,109
And I beat you!
1521
01:22:21,631 --> 01:22:24,983
You tried to break me,
but you failed at that too.
1522
01:22:25,070 --> 01:22:27,550
You actually made me stronger.
1523
01:22:27,637 --> 01:22:29,857
You wanna know why?
'Cause I learned things.
1524
01:22:29,944 --> 01:22:33,252
First of all, I got over my ex.
Check mark.
1525
01:22:33,904 --> 01:22:36,995
Second of all, I saw my Dad.
Thank you.
1526
01:22:37,082 --> 01:22:38,909
Fucking check mark.
1527
01:22:39,388 --> 01:22:42,652
Third of all, I met a new woman
and she's excellent.
1528
01:22:42,739 --> 01:22:44,002
So how's this?
1529
01:22:45,655 --> 01:22:51,357
I know that I won, and you
owe me a million dollars,
1530
01:22:51,444 --> 01:22:55,143
and I'm not leaving
until you bring it to me.
1531
01:23:05,414 --> 01:23:08,069
Just gimme my goddamn money
so I can get on with my life
1532
01:23:08,156 --> 01:23:09,679
for fuck's sake.
1533
01:23:10,854 --> 01:23:13,379
[LIGHTS SLAMMING ON]
1534
01:23:16,338 --> 01:23:19,863
[APPLAUSE]
1535
01:23:22,910 --> 01:23:27,132
INTERVIEWER 1:
Congratulations.
You survived 30 days.
1536
01:23:27,219 --> 01:23:31,701
- You are our first winner!
- You won our game!
1537
01:23:31,788 --> 01:23:34,356
How does it feel to be a winner?
1538
01:23:36,010 --> 01:23:38,839
Pretty good.
[CHUCKLING] Pretty good.
1539
01:23:38,926 --> 01:23:40,188
Stoked for you, Tommy.
1540
01:23:40,319 --> 01:23:43,583
Thanks, man. You helped
me a lot. All you guys did.
1541
01:23:44,062 --> 01:23:46,107
I mean, not you, Samurai.
[LAUGHS]
1542
01:23:46,194 --> 01:23:49,241
- TOM: I just met you.
- INTERVIEWER 1:
And you remember this guy.
1543
01:23:50,024 --> 01:23:52,983
- OUTLAW: You beat me, ya prick.
- TOM: [LAUGHS]
1544
01:23:53,984 --> 01:23:57,597
Even that was scary.
[LAUGHING]
1545
01:23:57,684 --> 01:23:58,598
TOM:
What is this?
1546
01:23:59,207 --> 01:24:02,254
This is Danish Kroner.
It's the currency of Greenland.
1547
01:24:03,168 --> 01:24:05,822
Thank you. And I'm really glad
you didn't kill me.
1548
01:24:05,909 --> 01:24:07,563
You're very welcome.
1549
01:24:07,650 --> 01:24:09,130
TOM: I think I learned
from this game,
1550
01:24:09,217 --> 01:24:11,872
I'm ready to shake things up.
Let's try new things.
1551
01:24:11,959 --> 01:24:13,091
Yeah.
1552
01:24:13,178 --> 01:24:18,008
I fucking won! [CHUCKLING]
I won the game!
1553
01:24:19,271 --> 01:24:22,143
Fuck yeah!
[LAUGHS]
1554
01:24:22,230 --> 01:24:27,844
Wow! What a fucked-up game!
[LAUGHING]
1555
01:24:36,723 --> 01:24:41,031
TOM: Was it dangerous? Uh, yeah,
it actually really was.
1556
01:24:41,597 --> 01:24:43,991
Was it worth it? Hmm.
1557
01:24:45,340 --> 01:24:49,823
You bet your ass it was.
'Cause we're talking
a million dollars.
1558
01:24:50,389 --> 01:24:51,433
And I won. [LAUGHS]
1559
01:24:52,826 --> 01:24:55,524
So I'd like to thank you
guys for fucking nothing,
1560
01:24:55,611 --> 01:24:57,831
because you didn't
believe in me,
1561
01:24:57,961 --> 01:25:00,094
and you were wrong
and I was right.
1562
01:25:00,181 --> 01:25:02,009
And you all have egg
on your face.
1563
01:25:02,096 --> 01:25:03,706
So what do you have
to say for yourselves?
1564
01:25:04,751 --> 01:25:08,668
I'm glad you fixed your tooth,
'cause it really
looked terrible.
1565
01:25:08,755 --> 01:25:11,671
MARY: Comedically.
- I preferred it before.
- MOM: So you won.
1566
01:25:12,193 --> 01:25:16,154
So does that,
does that mean you're,
you're a millionaire now, honey?
1567
01:25:16,763 --> 01:25:21,071
Uh, obviously with this game,
there's always twists and turns
1568
01:25:21,159 --> 01:25:22,638
and it's happened
with the currency.
1569
01:25:22,725 --> 01:25:23,813
What's the twist
with the currency?
1570
01:25:23,900 --> 01:25:25,075
Yeah, how much-
How much did you--
1571
01:25:25,206 --> 01:25:27,208
I wonder what the twist
is with the currency.
1572
01:25:27,295 --> 01:25:28,862
Are you a millionaire or not?
1573
01:25:28,949 --> 01:25:29,993
- Yeah, so.
- MALCOLM: Of course.
1574
01:25:30,559 --> 01:25:32,605
Yeah, so the way they're doing
the payment on this one is uh,
1575
01:25:32,692 --> 01:25:37,349
it's four grand a month
for, I think it's 250 months.
1576
01:25:37,697 --> 01:25:40,265
And it's in
Greenlandic currency.
So I don't know the conversion.
1577
01:25:40,352 --> 01:25:42,658
That's very interesting.
Greenlandic currency.
1578
01:25:42,745 --> 01:25:44,747
I wonder where that
terrible idea came from.
1579
01:25:44,834 --> 01:25:46,836
Not so bad!
That's, like, 12 years.
1580
01:25:46,967 --> 01:25:49,012
- MARY: Yeah.
- AMY: Okay well, that's it.
I'm done.
1581
01:25:49,143 --> 01:25:51,145
Uh, Wayne Brady, big fan.
1582
01:25:51,232 --> 01:25:52,233
- Yeah.
- Aw, thank you.
1583
01:25:52,712 --> 01:25:54,148
Uh, you wanna grab lunch
or something, or are you down?
1584
01:25:54,235 --> 01:25:56,150
- Yeah, yeah, no I'm down.
- Great. Awesome. Yeah, cool.
1585
01:25:56,237 --> 01:25:58,283
Thank you. Alright,
well good to see everybody.
1586
01:25:59,153 --> 01:26:01,503
AMY: It's just like a lot,
you know what I mean?
1587
01:26:01,590 --> 01:26:03,331
WAYNE:
Hey, thank you.
1588
01:26:03,505 --> 01:26:06,552
WALTER: So, what are you
gonna tell Maddy if she asks
about the game?
1589
01:26:06,639 --> 01:26:08,206
TOM:
I'm gonna tell her the truth.
1590
01:26:08,336 --> 01:26:11,383
The game's over.
Time to move on.
1591
01:26:12,558 --> 01:26:16,039
Alright. Here goes nothing.
Now or never.
1592
01:26:16,126 --> 01:26:17,780
Yeah, here goes nothing.
1593
01:26:19,347 --> 01:26:20,783
You want me to come with you?
1594
01:26:21,219 --> 01:26:24,047
No, no. I wanna do it
on my own. But thanks.
1595
01:26:24,134 --> 01:26:25,788
I'll see you back at the
apartment, though, all right?
1596
01:26:25,875 --> 01:26:27,181
Come on, hug it up.
1597
01:26:27,747 --> 01:26:29,879
Thanks. I'll see you back
- at home, okay?
- Yeah, I'll see you at home.
1598
01:26:29,966 --> 01:26:31,620
Alright. You're the best.
1599
01:26:33,056 --> 01:26:34,188
[SIGHS]
1600
01:26:39,019 --> 01:26:43,850
[UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]
1601
01:26:48,724 --> 01:26:49,769
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
1602
01:26:52,162 --> 01:26:55,165
SINGER:
♪ Now what I want is
an easy movement ♪
1603
01:26:55,253 --> 01:26:56,123
[SIGHS]
1604
01:26:56,384 --> 01:26:58,908
SINGER:
♪ So kindly go gently with me ♪
1605
01:27:05,437 --> 01:27:08,701
[FOLK MUSIC CONTINUES]
1606
01:27:22,889 --> 01:27:26,240
SINGER:
♪ Now what I want is
freedom of my legs ♪
1607
01:27:26,501 --> 01:27:29,243
♪ So kindly keep back a little ♪
1608
01:27:33,943 --> 01:27:36,511
♪ I don'’t like it when
you'’re holding my hips ♪
1609
01:27:36,598 --> 01:27:39,166
♪ I want you to rock me
like this ♪
1610
01:27:39,253 --> 01:27:41,690
♪ I don'’t like it when you're
touching my breast ♪
1611
01:27:41,777 --> 01:27:43,649
♪ I'd like you to be
at your best ♪
1612
01:27:43,736 --> 01:27:46,173
♪ Oh mister, please go easy ♪
1613
01:27:46,260 --> 01:27:50,438
♪ So mister, I say,
go easy with me ♪
1614
01:28:06,585 --> 01:28:09,196
♪ It is true that
the music is sweet ♪
1615
01:28:09,283 --> 01:28:12,199
♪ But kindly keep me released ♪
1616
01:28:26,605 --> 01:28:29,477
♪ Now what I see is that
you'’re getting too hot ♪
1617
01:28:29,564 --> 01:28:31,653
♪ Sir please,
suppress your feeling ♪
1618
01:28:31,740 --> 01:28:34,221
♪ I say mister,
please suppress your ♪
1619
01:28:34,526 --> 01:28:36,919
♪ So mister, I say,
suppress your ♪
1620
01:28:42,229 --> 01:28:44,797
♪ I don'’t like it when you're
holding my hips ♪
1621
01:28:44,884 --> 01:28:47,452
♪ I want you
to rock me like this ♪
1622
01:28:47,539 --> 01:28:49,845
♪ I don'’t like it when you're
touching my breast ♪
1623
01:28:49,932 --> 01:28:51,760
♪ I'd like you to be
at your best ♪
1624
01:28:51,847 --> 01:28:54,459
♪ Oh mister, please go easy ♪
1625
01:28:54,546 --> 01:28:59,594
♪ So mister, I say, go easy
with me, alright! ♪
1626
01:29:06,079 --> 01:29:09,082
[BRIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
1627
01:29:21,834 --> 01:29:25,838
[BRIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
1628
01:30:09,577 --> 01:30:10,709
SINGER:
♪ Wake up in the morning
1629
01:30:10,796 --> 01:30:12,537
♪ It's a quarter to three ♪
1630
01:30:12,624 --> 01:30:14,321
♪ I hit the street ♪
1631
01:30:17,063 --> 01:30:18,456
♪ Wake up in the morning
1632
01:30:18,543 --> 01:30:19,935
♪ It's a quarter to three ♪
1633
01:30:20,022 --> 01:30:21,763
♪ I hit the street ♪
1634
01:30:24,157 --> 01:30:26,376
♪ Now that my mind is racing
1635
01:30:26,464 --> 01:30:27,900
♪ And rolling around ♪
1636
01:30:27,987 --> 01:30:30,424
♪ I can't sleep anymore ♪
1637
01:30:32,034 --> 01:30:34,123
♪ Now that my mind is racing
1638
01:30:34,210 --> 01:30:35,603
♪ And rolling around ♪
1639
01:30:35,690 --> 01:30:38,258
♪ I can't sleep anymore ♪
1640
01:30:41,479 --> 01:30:43,916
[MUSIC ENDS]