1
00:00:02,083 --> 00:00:05,523
RHYTHMIC CLAPPING

2
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,723
RECORD CRACKLES

3
00:00:21,843 --> 00:00:25,723
GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS

4
00:00:34,723 --> 00:00:37,003
♪ The day I turned my life around

5
00:00:38,123 --> 00:00:41,243
♪ Was a day like any other

6
00:00:41,243 --> 00:00:44,683
♪ I tried to start all over again

7
00:00:44,683 --> 00:00:46,723
♪ I was warned by another

8
00:00:48,323 --> 00:00:50,283
♪ A circle in a spiral

9
00:00:51,323 --> 00:00:53,163
♪ A never-ending line

10
00:00:54,483 --> 00:00:57,483
♪ A solitary weakness

11
00:00:57,483 --> 00:00:59,843
♪ A ream that you'd be right

12
00:01:01,163 --> 00:01:07,803
♪ La, la, la, la,
over and over again

13
00:01:11,123 --> 00:01:13,043
♪ I'm going round in circles

14
00:01:14,523 --> 00:01:16,363
♪ Around and round and round

15
00:01:17,643 --> 00:01:21,003
♪ Like I'm riding on a cartwheel

16
00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:24,363
♪ But I can make a sound

17
00:01:24,363 --> 00:01:27,643
♪ I'm deep into the quicksand

18
00:01:27,643 --> 00:01:29,243
♪ Sinking below

19
00:01:31,043 --> 00:01:32,763
♪ All that's left is my land

20
00:01:34,243 --> 00:01:36,083
♪ Down, down I go

21
00:01:37,523 --> 00:01:40,283
♪ La, la, la, la,
over and over again

22
00:01:40,283 --> 00:01:47,523
♪ La, la, la,
la, over and over again

23
00:01:47,523 --> 00:01:49,483
♪ Again, again, again,
again, again. ♪

24
00:02:00,523 --> 00:02:02,243
DOORBELL RINGS

25
00:02:15,363 --> 00:02:17,283
Well, we should have...

26
00:02:17,283 --> 00:02:19,603
Angela, could I speak? Am I
allowed to speak? It's only my show.

27
00:02:19,603 --> 00:02:22,083
If you want to rant about
the Eel Queen,

28
00:02:22,083 --> 00:02:23,923
you can do that on Joy's
show. Let me just say, right...

29
00:02:23,923 --> 00:02:26,723
Or, or Radio Four's dreadful
Woman's Hour.

30
00:02:26,723 --> 00:02:28,363
But the thing is...
I mean, why is it still on?

31
00:02:28,363 --> 00:02:29,443
Why is it still on?

32
00:02:29,443 --> 00:02:32,843
But can I...? No-one wants to hear
about menstruation,

33
00:02:32,843 --> 00:02:36,403
rape and female genital mutilation
at ten in the morning, Angela.

34
00:02:36,403 --> 00:02:38,403
Listen to me. No...
If there's a woman's hour,

35
00:02:38,403 --> 00:02:40,163
where's the hour for black people...

36
00:02:40,163 --> 00:02:43,643
...or midgets, or people that
identify as Klingon?

37
00:02:43,643 --> 00:02:46,203
There are people that identify
as Klingon, Angela.

38
00:02:46,203 --> 00:02:49,003
You sellotape a mars bar to your
head, put a Tina Turner wig on...

39
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,443
No, I just...
...you're a Klingon.

40
00:02:50,443 --> 00:02:52,243
PHONE RINGS
This is a rich country.

41
00:02:52,243 --> 00:02:54,883
There's no such thing as food poverty.

42
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:57,523
I'm living up a tree
and I've got cheese.

43
00:02:57,523 --> 00:02:59,923
You know, if the poor people
in this country are going hungry,

44
00:02:59,923 --> 00:03:03,603
it's because they're spending
their benefits on fags and gnomes.

45
00:03:03,603 --> 00:03:06,163
Solomon is on line two.
Hello, Solomon.

46
00:03:06,163 --> 00:03:07,763
Now them bones have been found,

47
00:03:07,763 --> 00:03:10,403
development's halted
and your birds are safe,

48
00:03:10,403 --> 00:03:12,123
some say you're no longer
a local hero,

49
00:03:12,123 --> 00:03:13,763
just some bigot up a tree.

50
00:03:13,763 --> 00:03:15,803
Well, thank you for that, Solomon.

51
00:03:15,803 --> 00:03:17,323
They're safe for now,

52
00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:20,563
but whether this site becomes
a crime scene or an archaeological

53
00:03:20,563 --> 00:03:25,123
dig, the developers will be back,
with their chainsaws,

54
00:03:25,123 --> 00:03:27,523
and I, for one,
am not going anywhere.

55
00:03:27,523 --> 00:03:29,843
Isaiah is on line three.

56
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,083
Hello, Isaiah.

57
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:33,083
You ain't even a real Verderer.

58
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,363
Stick it up your ar...

59
00:03:34,363 --> 00:03:36,403
OK, let's have some music
now, then, shall we?

60
00:03:36,403 --> 00:03:41,083
But, before we do, a big shout out
to Neil and Christine Hamilton,

61
00:03:41,083 --> 00:03:44,603
who sent me a crate of cheese.

62
00:03:44,603 --> 00:03:48,003
It's unbelievable. Honestly, if
someone had told me 20 years ago

63
00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:49,443
that I'd be living up a tree,

64
00:03:49,443 --> 00:03:52,323
chomping on a pound of Stinking
Bishop that the leader

65
00:03:52,323 --> 00:03:55,923
of the Ukip party had sent me,
I wouldn't have believed them.

66
00:03:55,923 --> 00:03:57,883
Humbled.

67
00:03:57,883 --> 00:03:59,843
Truly humbled.

68
00:03:59,843 --> 00:04:02,123
You know, I might be defecating
like a tramp up here,

69
00:04:02,123 --> 00:04:03,843
but I'm eating like a king.

70
00:04:06,243 --> 00:04:08,203
So, what will you do?

71
00:04:08,203 --> 00:04:09,843
The right thing. All right.

72
00:04:09,843 --> 00:04:11,363
Well, just don't rush into anything.

73
00:04:11,363 --> 00:04:13,363
I know you. It's very well
having socialist principles,

74
00:04:13,363 --> 00:04:17,163
but not if you hand over
your entire inheritance.

75
00:04:17,163 --> 00:04:18,443
Think of the cats.

76
00:04:18,443 --> 00:04:21,643
I've spent three weeks thinking
about this will, Joy.

77
00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:23,323
Faither Watkins
had sex with Mum once

78
00:04:23,323 --> 00:04:26,163
and never did nothing for her nor me
when he was alive.

79
00:04:26,163 --> 00:04:30,243
He's not my faither. I don't want
his eel cafe or eel king title,

80
00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:32,163
or stewardship
of the eel festival.

81
00:04:34,043 --> 00:04:37,643
I'd like to have my half-sister's
mind, if they'll have me.

82
00:04:39,803 --> 00:04:43,243
I can't believe no-one saw it.
The resemblance is uncanny.

83
00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:44,963
It's going to hit Uncle hard.

84
00:04:44,963 --> 00:04:47,243
His brain will explode.

85
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,883
He doesn't need to know.

86
00:04:48,883 --> 00:04:51,843
He's been like a faither to me
since Mum died.

87
00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:53,163
BELL TINKLES

88
00:04:55,163 --> 00:04:58,003
Hey. What's happened to your eye?

89
00:04:58,003 --> 00:04:59,043
Er...

90
00:05:00,443 --> 00:05:01,723
Bird flew into it.

91
00:05:07,483 --> 00:05:09,203
What the hell's going on?

92
00:05:09,203 --> 00:05:11,203
Punch-up at the pub.

93
00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:13,923
The Verderer is furious
that Ryan got hurt.

94
00:05:13,923 --> 00:05:16,803
What does he expect,
putting that shit out there?

95
00:05:16,803 --> 00:05:18,883
Tony ended it, according to Ryan.

96
00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:22,803
He asked the idiots what
Ryan's pronouns had to do with them,

97
00:05:22,803 --> 00:05:25,203
and they said they didn't know,
they hadn't really thought about it,

98
00:05:25,203 --> 00:05:27,443
so he said, "Well, maybe
you should think about it"

99
00:05:27,443 --> 00:05:30,043
and he whacked them with a pool cue.

100
00:05:30,043 --> 00:05:31,883
Hmm.

101
00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:34,843
Joy, I want to talk to you about something.

102
00:05:34,843 --> 00:05:36,763
About why I was
at the mine entrance?

103
00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:39,043
I was wondering when you were
going to ask that. Er, what?

104
00:05:41,363 --> 00:05:43,043
I was mining ochre.

105
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,523
SHE GASPS
For you heart?

106
00:05:44,523 --> 00:05:46,203
Yeah.

107
00:05:46,203 --> 00:05:48,643
But taking from the land
is frowned upon

108
00:05:48,643 --> 00:05:50,843
if you're not from here, Lin, so...

109
00:05:50,843 --> 00:05:52,603
Keep it on the low-down.

110
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:53,643
I will.

111
00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:56,443
Oh, it's down-low.

112
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:59,043
Oh, what is?
You said low-down.

113
00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:00,763
No, I didn't.

114
00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:01,803
OK.

115
00:06:05,763 --> 00:06:07,043
Joy? Yeah.

116
00:06:07,043 --> 00:06:09,523
There's something else
I wanted to ask you.

117
00:06:15,883 --> 00:06:17,723
TWIG SNAPS

118
00:06:24,723 --> 00:06:28,163
That is a really lovely idea, Lin.

119
00:06:28,163 --> 00:06:30,723
The town would really
appreciate that.

120
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,403
OK.

121
00:06:32,403 --> 00:06:35,243
You know, let's mull it over.

122
00:06:35,243 --> 00:06:37,403
These things can be really personal.

123
00:06:37,403 --> 00:06:39,403
Oh, yeah.

124
00:06:39,403 --> 00:06:40,443
OK.

125
00:06:43,923 --> 00:06:45,563
Look, look, boys, boys,
listen to this.

126
00:06:45,563 --> 00:06:48,963
"Few tasks are more similar
to the torment of Sisyphus,

127
00:06:48,963 --> 00:06:52,083
"with its endless repetition,
than those of the housewife.

128
00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:55,403
"Day after day, one must wash
dishes, dust furniture, mend clothes

129
00:06:55,403 --> 00:06:58,723
"that would be dirty,
dusty and torn again.

130
00:06:58,723 --> 00:07:02,003
"The housewife wears herself
out, running on the spot.

131
00:07:02,003 --> 00:07:04,643
"She never gains the sense
that she's conquering,

132
00:07:04,643 --> 00:07:09,323
"a positive good but struggles
indefinitely against evil."

133
00:07:09,323 --> 00:07:10,523
This is my life.

134
00:07:14,243 --> 00:07:16,603
So, that's what Ryan wants to do.

135
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,683
Always were a lovely child.

136
00:07:20,803 --> 00:07:23,043
We got half-sibling, Carm.

137
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,083
We have!

138
00:07:27,843 --> 00:07:30,563
Could've take Ryan in when Sarah
died if we'd known.

139
00:07:30,563 --> 00:07:33,683
Oh, well, Verderer did a decent job.

140
00:07:33,683 --> 00:07:37,003
You'll make sure the cats
want for nothing.

141
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:40,123
Always felt there was someone
missing, I did.

142
00:07:44,443 --> 00:07:46,563
Oh, and another thing that Linda
wanted me to ask you...

143
00:07:46,563 --> 00:07:50,403
I told her, we ain't doing
vegan eels. Nor eel karaoke.

144
00:07:52,043 --> 00:07:53,643
A memorial for Faither...

145
00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:58,763
...for the community, as part
of the festival procession.

146
00:07:58,763 --> 00:08:01,603
Didn't have the guts to ask
us herself, Saint Linda?

147
00:08:01,603 --> 00:08:04,683
Too busy do-gooding? Collecting
the Verderer's shit bags

148
00:08:04,683 --> 00:08:07,403
and teaching the men about
the menopause not enough for her?

149
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,763
She wanted it to be a surprise,
and I know how much you hate those.

150
00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:11,483
This is why I'm telling you,

151
00:08:11,483 --> 00:08:14,643
because I don't want anyone
getting punched in the face again.

152
00:08:14,643 --> 00:08:17,803
She doesn't know about the will
or Ryan yet,

153
00:08:17,803 --> 00:08:20,683
and she thought you'd appreciate it,

154
00:08:20,683 --> 00:08:24,043
that it'd be good for morale,
you know, to unite the town?

155
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:27,963
The redevelopment and the Eel
Festival has been so divisive.

156
00:08:30,963 --> 00:08:35,763
But, obviously, it's complicated
for you both, so...

157
00:08:39,163 --> 00:08:40,643
Why don't you sleep on it?

158
00:08:43,683 --> 00:08:45,123
Do what you want.

159
00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:47,603
We don't give a shit, do we, Carm?
No, we do not.

160
00:08:55,403 --> 00:08:57,003
Cantucci.

161
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,443
Hmm?

162
00:08:58,443 --> 00:08:59,643
Cantucci.

163
00:08:59,643 --> 00:09:01,123
Can I what?

164
00:09:04,883 --> 00:09:06,883
A biscuit. Oh, yes, please.

165
00:09:08,763 --> 00:09:12,763
Thanks. Italian almond biscuits,
specially for coffee. Oh, lovely.

166
00:09:15,563 --> 00:09:16,963
I think they're off.

167
00:09:16,963 --> 00:09:19,363
No, it's supposed to be like that.
You dunk it in the coffee.

168
00:09:19,363 --> 00:09:20,643
Oh, right.

169
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,363
You can suck it if you like. Mm!

170
00:09:24,843 --> 00:09:26,723
Mm!

171
00:09:26,723 --> 00:09:29,203
Nice? Mm! Really nice.

172
00:09:29,203 --> 00:09:31,003
I wish they'd hurry up
and date these bones.

173
00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:33,523
I feel a bit vulnerable in the
caravan on my own.

174
00:09:33,523 --> 00:09:36,723
Don't worry about it, Linda,
I'm sure it's all very innocent.

175
00:09:36,723 --> 00:09:38,803
Yeah, you're right.
Nothing to worry about.

176
00:09:38,803 --> 00:09:40,763
Someone probably just died
of natural causes

177
00:09:40,763 --> 00:09:42,043
when they were out walking.

178
00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:43,683
Fell over, some soil blew on them,

179
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,363
and then no-one reported
them missing.

180
00:09:49,963 --> 00:09:52,523
I never really thanked you
for ripping that eviction notice

181
00:09:52,523 --> 00:09:54,483
off and bringing it to the meeting.

182
00:09:54,483 --> 00:09:56,483
Oh, I probably wasn't supposed
to do that.

183
00:09:56,483 --> 00:09:58,643
Well, it meant a lot to me. Hmm.

184
00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:04,563
Erm...

185
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:05,963
Linda? Mm?

186
00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:10,203
There's something
I really want to show you.

187
00:10:10,203 --> 00:10:12,243
Oh. Will you come inside?

188
00:10:12,243 --> 00:10:13,283
Yeah.

189
00:10:26,883 --> 00:10:28,203
Oh, God!

190
00:10:28,203 --> 00:10:32,243
I'm sorry, Pig Man, but I don't see
you like that at all.

191
00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:34,803
And I'm sorry if I've ever given
you that impression,

192
00:10:34,803 --> 00:10:36,763
but I genuinely
don't think that I have.

193
00:10:36,763 --> 00:10:38,683
No, Linda, I'm not... Can't men
and women just be friends

194
00:10:38,683 --> 00:10:41,163
without men always thinking there's
something in it.

195
00:10:41,163 --> 00:10:44,163
And - newsflash - we really don't
want to look at your penises

196
00:10:44,163 --> 00:10:47,643
all the time, OK? Babies -
that's what we like looking at.

197
00:10:47,643 --> 00:10:51,603
Babies and dogs and cats
in costumes, not penises.

198
00:10:51,603 --> 00:10:55,003
I know it's a power thing. What if
women expose their vulvas to men?

199
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:56,803
Oh, hello, my name's Linda.

200
00:10:56,803 --> 00:10:58,963
My life hasn't turned out
how I wanted it to.

201
00:10:58,963 --> 00:11:01,603
I've got no power.
Look at my vagina.

202
00:11:01,603 --> 00:11:03,243
Linda, please.

203
00:11:03,243 --> 00:11:05,763
Please, just... turn around.

204
00:11:07,003 --> 00:11:08,923
I haven't got my penis out.

205
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,043
Oh, my God, my time capsule!

206
00:11:32,043 --> 00:11:34,683
It's in really good nick still.

207
00:11:34,683 --> 00:11:37,323
There, there! That's where it fell
out of my backpack

208
00:11:37,323 --> 00:11:39,363
when I was climbing up the tree.

209
00:11:40,563 --> 00:11:42,243
Oh, my God.

210
00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:55,643
Oh...

211
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,723
Mum's spoon.

212
00:12:12,963 --> 00:12:14,683
Breaking was our thing.

213
00:12:14,683 --> 00:12:16,403
SHE LAUGHS AND SNIFFS

214
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:18,803
Hmm.

215
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:26,803
We used to pick this together
on, on walks.

216
00:12:27,963 --> 00:12:29,483
Got loads.

217
00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:30,563
Sorry.

218
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:33,083
Why have you got my...?
I meant to tell you that first day,

219
00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:36,243
but the longer I left it,
the harder it got.

220
00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:40,523
SHE GASPS
Porky!

221
00:12:40,523 --> 00:12:42,163
Oh, my God.

222
00:12:42,163 --> 00:12:43,923
HE SIGHS

223
00:12:43,923 --> 00:12:46,163
It's given me so much comfort
over the years.

224
00:12:48,243 --> 00:12:50,883
What's going on, Pig Man?

225
00:12:50,883 --> 00:12:52,283
My daughter, Holly.

226
00:12:55,643 --> 00:12:57,643
I'd just almost tripped over.

227
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,563
That's why she's laughing.

228
00:13:02,203 --> 00:13:03,723
She wasn't with us very long.

229
00:13:03,723 --> 00:13:05,003
Oh, God.

230
00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:06,043
I'm so sorry.

231
00:13:07,643 --> 00:13:09,283
Her mum took the photo.

232
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,683
We...

233
00:13:13,603 --> 00:13:16,243
Well, our marriage didn't
survive it.

234
00:13:17,523 --> 00:13:19,603
Her illness, I mean, not the...

235
00:13:22,403 --> 00:13:23,723
Not the trip.

236
00:13:25,683 --> 00:13:29,763
It's funny how, as a parent, you'd
give anything for a minute's peace.

237
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:36,883
What I wouldn't give now
for one more minute with her.

238
00:13:49,603 --> 00:13:51,243
She was mad about pigs.

239
00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:55,523
I know it sounds daft, but...

240
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,963
...this is where I feel
closest to her.

241
00:14:01,563 --> 00:14:02,963
How old was she?

242
00:14:02,963 --> 00:14:04,003
Ten.

243
00:14:08,683 --> 00:14:12,923
{\an8}The same age I was when I hid the capsule.

244
00:14:12,923 --> 00:14:16,963
God, you must have thought it was
some kind of sign, or...

245
00:14:16,963 --> 00:14:20,363
To find a toy pig where
your boars' truffles grow.

246
00:14:25,043 --> 00:14:27,083
Maybe it's a magic tree.

247
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,843
Yeah.

248
00:14:29,843 --> 00:14:32,323
Maybe it was planted on a ley line.

249
00:14:35,243 --> 00:14:37,003
When I was a kid,

250
00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:41,203
I used to think there was something
really special about this place.

251
00:14:41,203 --> 00:14:42,243
Something...

252
00:14:44,803 --> 00:14:46,243
...otherly.

253
00:14:48,923 --> 00:14:50,443
I know what you mean.

254
00:14:57,803 --> 00:15:02,163
LOW RUMBLING

255
00:15:06,563 --> 00:15:08,483
RUMBLING STOPS

256
00:15:15,803 --> 00:15:17,363
Was it a school project?

257
00:15:17,363 --> 00:15:19,483
No, no.

258
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:23,083
When my mum died, I decided
to bury everything I loved.

259
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:25,363
I was so furious with God.

260
00:15:25,363 --> 00:15:27,923
I remember thinking, "Right, well,
just have everything, then.

261
00:15:27,923 --> 00:15:31,243
"Have it all."
My way of coping, I suppose.

262
00:15:43,523 --> 00:15:45,363
BANGING

263
00:15:48,483 --> 00:15:49,763
There you are.

264
00:15:49,763 --> 00:15:51,603
Siobhan!

265
00:15:51,603 --> 00:15:54,403
How did you...? Found my phone.
Weird kid in a cafe,

266
00:15:54,403 --> 00:15:56,563
two weird sisters in another cafe,

267
00:15:56,563 --> 00:15:59,163
small man up a tree and,
hey, presto.

268
00:15:59,163 --> 00:16:01,763
I knew it. I told Steve there was
someone else,

269
00:16:01,763 --> 00:16:04,923
but he wouldn't have it,
the gullible dick.

270
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:07,163
Oh, boo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

271
00:16:07,163 --> 00:16:11,123
"I'm Linda. I've locked my grief in
a time capsule."

272
00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:13,083
"I've got the menopause."

273
00:16:13,083 --> 00:16:15,523
"I want people to know me as Linda,

274
00:16:15,523 --> 00:16:18,563
"not as somebody's wife and mum."

275
00:16:20,483 --> 00:16:23,963
Oh, you didn't know there was
a husband and kids at home, did you?

276
00:16:23,963 --> 00:16:25,563
Oh, shame.

277
00:16:25,563 --> 00:16:28,763
We're not... I knew it. I knew you
didn't have it in you

278
00:16:28,763 --> 00:16:30,043
to go off on your own.

279
00:16:30,043 --> 00:16:32,763
I knew there had to be
a man involved.

280
00:16:32,763 --> 00:16:34,883
All this finding yourself bullshit,

281
00:16:34,883 --> 00:16:37,843
when all you've found is
Jesus of Nazareth here.

282
00:16:37,843 --> 00:16:40,443
Do you rise again on the third day,
do you, mate?

283
00:16:40,443 --> 00:16:43,683
Oh! Maybe you rise every day.

284
00:16:43,683 --> 00:16:46,803
You dirty Bertie, Lin!
That's enough, Siobhan!

285
00:16:49,643 --> 00:16:51,403
I'm going to give you two
some space.

286
00:16:51,403 --> 00:16:54,563
No, this is your home.
We'll go outside. OK.

287
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:59,323
Great to meet you.

288
00:16:59,323 --> 00:17:02,203
Put a T-shirt on. Linda... Linda!

289
00:17:02,203 --> 00:17:04,003
Phew!

290
00:17:04,003 --> 00:17:06,603
Have you seriously traded
in your husband and kids

291
00:17:06,603 --> 00:17:10,243
for Crocodile Dundee, some twat up a
tree, and two weird eel women

292
00:17:10,243 --> 00:17:13,323
who have to be the biggest
pair of cunts I've ever met?

293
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,763
And I've met Ant and Dec.

294
00:17:14,763 --> 00:17:16,603
It's been really good for me,
this trip, Siobhan.

295
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,883
It's been bloody selfish,
is what it's been.

296
00:17:18,883 --> 00:17:21,963
I'm entitled to have
some time to myself.

297
00:17:21,963 --> 00:17:23,523
You should do the same.

298
00:17:23,523 --> 00:17:26,563
Leave me out of this.
This has got nothing to do with me.

299
00:17:26,563 --> 00:17:28,963
It obviously has.
It's always about you.

300
00:17:28,963 --> 00:17:30,563
It always has been.

301
00:17:30,563 --> 00:17:32,923
You didn't need to take
Mum's role, Siobhan.

302
00:17:32,923 --> 00:17:34,403
You were just a kid yourself.

303
00:17:34,403 --> 00:17:36,643
But you did, because that was
the only way that you could

304
00:17:36,643 --> 00:17:40,003
deal with her death. And I let you
because I could see that

305
00:17:40,003 --> 00:17:42,803
it filled a hole. But it stops now.

306
00:17:42,803 --> 00:17:44,603
It's exhausting.

307
00:17:46,043 --> 00:17:48,043
I love you, Siobhan.

308
00:17:48,043 --> 00:17:50,123
But, please...

309
00:17:50,123 --> 00:17:51,563
You're not Mum.

310
00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:56,483
So, live your life
and let me live mine.

311
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:58,883
Mistakes and all.

312
00:18:04,163 --> 00:18:05,363
Three weeks on your own and

313
00:18:05,363 --> 00:18:07,683
you've turned into a right
cocky little shit.

314
00:18:07,683 --> 00:18:08,723
Oh, God.

315
00:18:09,803 --> 00:18:12,643
The truth will out, Linda,
because it always does.

316
00:18:12,643 --> 00:18:16,803
Tell them who you are
and stop being a weird idiot.

317
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:18,643
Or I will.

318
00:18:18,643 --> 00:18:21,083
And why are you dressed like
Julian Cope?

319
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:22,443
Twat.

320
00:18:22,443 --> 00:18:24,403
I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut
you off there, Jackie.

321
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,843
Breaking news just in -

322
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,203
the results are back from the lab
and has been confirmed

323
00:18:28,203 --> 00:18:30,763
that the bones found by
the developers are definitely human.

324
00:18:30,763 --> 00:18:33,803
They've been sent off
for further analysis.

325
00:18:33,803 --> 00:18:35,803
The plot thickens.

326
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,683
Back after this.

327
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:47,683
ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS

328
00:19:02,163 --> 00:19:03,163
There you go.

329
00:19:06,323 --> 00:19:08,443
Ah...

330
00:19:11,043 --> 00:19:13,803
The wife's found out about Lin's
fucking ledger.

331
00:19:13,803 --> 00:19:15,323
It's causing a lot of problems.

332
00:19:15,323 --> 00:19:18,403
They're already timing and costing
their chores now.

333
00:19:18,403 --> 00:19:20,963
They said it
already adds up to a spa weekend.

334
00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:23,163
You better hope this don't
catch on, Steve.

335
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,803
It's like the Icelandic women's
strike of 1975 all over again.

336
00:19:26,803 --> 00:19:28,243
Jesus Christ.

337
00:19:35,683 --> 00:19:37,403
Hello?

338
00:19:37,403 --> 00:19:38,843
Ags?

339
00:19:38,843 --> 00:19:40,123
Is anyone home?

340
00:19:42,083 --> 00:19:43,283
Hello?

341
00:19:48,523 --> 00:19:51,203
Oh! Could you stop doing that?

342
00:19:51,203 --> 00:19:53,243
What?

343
00:19:53,243 --> 00:19:55,443
I just want to tell you that
I'm staying in the pub tonight

344
00:19:55,443 --> 00:19:57,563
because they found... As you know,
the bones are human,

345
00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:58,923
but they haven't dated them yet,

346
00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:01,443
and I don't fancy staying out
in the woods on my own in a caravan

347
00:20:01,443 --> 00:20:02,803
with no lock on the door.

348
00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:04,883
Human bones, you say? Whoa! Please!

349
00:20:04,883 --> 00:20:08,283
Why don't you have a drink with us,
Linda?

350
00:20:08,283 --> 00:20:09,723
Settle them nerves.

351
00:20:09,723 --> 00:20:12,003
You'll get some of faither's
special whisky out.

352
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,643
And maither's special glasses.

353
00:20:13,643 --> 00:20:15,403
No, no, I just want to go.

354
00:20:15,403 --> 00:20:18,443
It's very nice of you, but,
but I'd just much rather...

355
00:20:20,563 --> 00:20:22,083
Oh, sorry.

356
00:20:22,083 --> 00:20:25,283
I'd be honoured to have some
of faither's special whisky

357
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:28,083
out of one of maither's
special glasses. Thank you.

358
00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:29,603
Thank you.

359
00:20:33,963 --> 00:20:35,363
The water of life.

360
00:20:40,243 --> 00:20:42,283
SHE CHOKES AND COUGHS

361
00:20:43,923 --> 00:20:45,283
SHE HACKS LOUDLY

362
00:20:45,283 --> 00:20:46,683
BIRDS' WINGS FLAP

363
00:20:48,643 --> 00:20:50,283
Don't fret about no bones, Linda,
nor your tree.

364
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,563
Oh, all right. I won't fret, then.

365
00:20:55,163 --> 00:20:57,163
Why is no-one bothered about this?

366
00:20:57,163 --> 00:20:58,763
It's all sorted, Linda.

367
00:20:58,763 --> 00:21:02,123
Great-great-grandfaither
seen to it.

368
00:21:02,123 --> 00:21:04,363
Great-great-grandfaither...
Here we go again.

369
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:07,323
...he was born on this land
over by them bins,

370
00:21:07,323 --> 00:21:11,843
and was returned to it over there,
by that tree.

371
00:21:11,843 --> 00:21:13,083
Got dug up.

372
00:21:14,683 --> 00:21:17,483
Then was returned to another
part of it.

373
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,283
Do you know what?

374
00:21:21,283 --> 00:21:23,683
Really sick of these riddles.

375
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,723
Why don't you just speak norm...?

376
00:21:25,723 --> 00:21:27,243
No!

377
00:21:27,243 --> 00:21:28,843
You didn't.

378
00:21:28,843 --> 00:21:32,323
The bones
are great-great-grandfaither's?

379
00:21:32,323 --> 00:21:33,723
Oh...

380
00:21:33,723 --> 00:21:35,243
Hah!

381
00:21:35,243 --> 00:21:37,203
Isn't that illegal? Not round here.

382
00:21:37,203 --> 00:21:38,243
Forest rules.

383
00:21:39,283 --> 00:21:40,363
Do others know?

384
00:21:40,363 --> 00:21:42,043
Them as need to know knows.

385
00:21:42,043 --> 00:21:44,723
Forest folk what has the forest
in their hearts.

386
00:21:44,723 --> 00:21:46,803
And the pathologist's office.
And the police.

387
00:21:46,803 --> 00:21:48,803
And third cousin Bernadette.

388
00:21:48,803 --> 00:21:50,083
Her loves digging up bones.

389
00:21:50,083 --> 00:21:51,323
And now you.

390
00:21:51,323 --> 00:21:53,803
And now me.

391
00:21:53,803 --> 00:21:58,443
See, Carm? Digging up the past does
sometimes work.

392
00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,203
We trust you, Linda.

393
00:22:01,443 --> 00:22:03,563
And we don't
want the whole town knowing,

394
00:22:03,563 --> 00:22:05,523
so keep it on the low-down.

395
00:22:05,523 --> 00:22:06,843
I will.

396
00:22:09,243 --> 00:22:10,843
Oh, it's down-low.

397
00:22:10,843 --> 00:22:12,203
What is?

398
00:22:12,203 --> 00:22:14,083
You said...

399
00:22:15,683 --> 00:22:16,963
Nothing.

400
00:22:21,003 --> 00:22:22,363
Cheers.

401
00:22:22,363 --> 00:22:23,563
Here's to friendship.

402
00:22:23,563 --> 00:22:24,963
And truth.

403
00:22:30,043 --> 00:22:31,523
SHE SWALLOWS LOUDLY

404
00:22:31,523 --> 00:22:33,723
Jesus! You swallow loudly.

405
00:22:35,443 --> 00:22:46,483
♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
it's you I'd be kissing

406
00:22:46,483 --> 00:22:50,723
♪ She smiled and replied, "You
don't know what you're missing."

407
00:22:58,323 --> 00:23:03,483
♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
I wish I could wed you... ♪

408
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:04,963
Subtitles by Red Bee Media