1
00:00:02,083 --> 00:00:05,443
CLAPPING AND MUSIC PLAY

2
00:00:17,123 --> 00:00:19,243
CRACKLING

3
00:00:19,243 --> 00:00:20,843
GUITAR PLAYS

4
00:00:58,923 --> 00:01:00,203
ENGINE REVS

5
00:01:00,203 --> 00:01:01,243
ENGINE STOPS

6
00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:09,723
MOBILE PHONE RINGS

7
00:01:17,003 --> 00:01:19,323
PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

8
00:01:19,323 --> 00:01:20,603
Hi...

9
00:01:20,603 --> 00:01:22,883
No. I haven't told anyone
about Stephen the kids yet.

10
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,643
Stop ringing and asking.

11
00:01:26,763 --> 00:01:28,603
Could you get off my case?

12
00:01:30,963 --> 00:01:32,523
We've been through all this, Siobhain,

13
00:01:32,523 --> 00:01:34,003
because too much time has elapsed.

14
00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:35,323
I look mental now.

15
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,643
Yeah, yeah, well, Pig Man
isn't going to tell anyone.

16
00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,043
Stop shouting, Siobhain.

17
00:01:43,243 --> 00:01:44,363
Can you stop shouting?

18
00:01:46,203 --> 00:01:48,043
Can you stop shouting?

19
00:01:48,043 --> 00:01:51,163
If you don't stop shouting,
I'm hanging up.

20
00:02:17,243 --> 00:02:19,203
Lin's got no idea what's in store
for her.

21
00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:20,723
Fiver she says her feet hurt.

22
00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:24,043
And she keeps asking to use the
toilet... And the water's too cold.

23
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:26,363
Won't like the attention either.

24
00:02:27,803 --> 00:02:29,203
The locals are doing
a really good job

25
00:02:29,203 --> 00:02:31,003
on Faither's memorial,
thanks to Lin.

26
00:02:31,003 --> 00:02:32,763
They've finally
got their confidence back

27
00:02:32,763 --> 00:02:34,763
after the Straw Man
Harvest Festival incident.

28
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,363
Can't blame us for that, Joy.

29
00:02:36,363 --> 00:02:37,643
It were an abomination.

30
00:02:37,643 --> 00:02:40,603
You said it looked like Michael
Fabricant fell out of an airplane

31
00:02:40,603 --> 00:02:44,163
into a hay bale
and YOU set fire to it.

32
00:02:46,683 --> 00:02:48,163
Faither's memorial.

33
00:02:48,163 --> 00:02:51,803
Just what the world needs - another
monument to a problematic man.

34
00:02:51,803 --> 00:02:54,483
Should be making a Fred West
water fountain next.

35
00:02:54,483 --> 00:02:56,483
You should tell Linda the truth
about Verderer.

36
00:02:56,483 --> 00:02:59,323
Let her know that a
memorial to him is difficult.

37
00:02:59,323 --> 00:03:01,203
Nowt to explain - he were a bastard.

38
00:03:01,203 --> 00:03:04,003
Oh, we're allowed to swear tonight,
are we? Thank fuck for that!

39
00:03:04,003 --> 00:03:06,483
Festival eve, Town Mouse.
Say what we want.

40
00:03:06,483 --> 00:03:07,883
Nice dress!

41
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,003
What, this old thing? Yeah!

42
00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:11,283
Fiver, in a charity shop.

43
00:03:11,283 --> 00:03:12,643
Not my sort of thing at all.

44
00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:14,843
I'm just going to try it on,
see what it looked like then

45
00:03:14,843 --> 00:03:17,563
Tony said I was too old for it,
which really annoyed me

46
00:03:17,563 --> 00:03:19,003
and so I bought it.

47
00:03:19,003 --> 00:03:23,683
I thought, "Well, Tony, you are too
old for women's jeggings."

48
00:03:23,683 --> 00:03:25,243
LAUGHTER
Yeah!

49
00:03:25,243 --> 00:03:27,403
My God,
men telling women what to wear.

50
00:03:27,403 --> 00:03:29,323
It is SO annoying.

51
00:03:29,323 --> 00:03:32,323
My ex would only have sex
with me if I was in waders.

52
00:03:32,323 --> 00:03:34,123
My ex wouldn't have his picture
taken next to me

53
00:03:34,123 --> 00:03:36,403
if I was in heels, ever.

54
00:03:36,403 --> 00:03:37,843
Not even on our wedding day?

55
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,603
Yes, so we were sat down in all of them.

56
00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:42,043
My dad said that we look disabled.

57
00:03:45,843 --> 00:03:49,483
You look like a high-end
Russian prostitute.

58
00:03:49,483 --> 00:03:50,923
Oh, thanks, Carm.

59
00:03:53,923 --> 00:03:56,003
So you got it for Tony, then?

60
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:59,123
No, of course not. No, no, I'm just
saying that what he said annoyed me.

61
00:03:59,123 --> 00:04:01,403
Who'd you get it for, then?
Must be a man involved. Mm-hm.

62
00:04:01,403 --> 00:04:03,043
No!

63
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,123
Pig Man?

64
00:04:04,123 --> 00:04:05,723
Jealous, Carm? Oh, my God.

65
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,883
Why does everyone
think I'm bonking Pig Man?

66
00:04:07,883 --> 00:04:09,683
It's so childish!

67
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,963
First my sister, and now you lot.

68
00:04:11,963 --> 00:04:15,323
Oh, yeah. Everyone loved meeting
your charming, polite sister,

69
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,083
especially the Verderer,

70
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:20,163
who she called
"some fucking tree cheese gnome".

71
00:04:21,243 --> 00:04:23,963
Whole town knows you've been hanging
around down Pig Man's cave.

72
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:27,163
Yes! For his
friendship and his frothy milk.

73
00:04:27,163 --> 00:04:29,403
Well, as long as you're
happy being the third, Linda,

74
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:32,043
after his porkers and Carm.

75
00:04:32,043 --> 00:04:33,843
GASPING

76
00:04:33,843 --> 00:04:36,123
Pig Man and Carmel?

77
00:04:36,123 --> 00:04:37,603
Nice.

78
00:04:37,603 --> 00:04:40,443
Well, not consummated unless
you count him giving her

79
00:04:40,443 --> 00:04:44,163
his first prize veggies every year.
That's enough, Agnes.

80
00:04:44,163 --> 00:04:46,883
Pig Man's sweet potatoes and what
he does with them is up to him.

81
00:04:51,363 --> 00:04:53,603
So, it was for Tony, then?

82
00:04:53,603 --> 00:04:55,403
JOY LAUGHS
Oh, my God!

83
00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:59,163
I didn't buy it for a man, OK?
I got it for myself.

84
00:04:59,163 --> 00:05:01,003
All right.

85
00:05:01,003 --> 00:05:04,203
Also, if I was a lesbian,
which I'm not -

86
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:08,163
you wouldn't keep asking me what
woman I bought it for, would you?

87
00:05:08,163 --> 00:05:09,883
Yeah, I would. No, you wouldn't.

88
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,523
Would do.
No, you absolutely wouldn't.

89
00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:12,723
Yeah. No, you wouldn't.

90
00:05:12,723 --> 00:05:14,003
Would. You wouldn't.

91
00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:15,923
Would. No. We would.

92
00:05:19,523 --> 00:05:22,563
I don't know how you can stand it.
I really, really don't.

93
00:05:22,563 --> 00:05:26,403
Everyone knowing your business
all the time.

94
00:05:26,403 --> 00:05:28,323
"Hold the front page!

95
00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:32,563
"Woman who normally wears jeans
and a T-shirt, wears a dress!

96
00:05:34,603 --> 00:05:39,643
"Crisp packet blows out of a bin
and lands on a dog's back."

97
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,283
Which dog? Which flavour crisps?

98
00:05:41,283 --> 00:05:43,763
Did it stay on the dog's back
or immediately blow off again?

99
00:05:43,763 --> 00:05:45,043
Forget about the dog.

100
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:46,123
It didn't happen.

101
00:05:46,123 --> 00:05:47,163
I made it up.

102
00:05:47,163 --> 00:05:50,163
THEY EXCLAIM DISAPPOINTEDLY

103
00:05:50,163 --> 00:05:53,123
We didn't mean to make you feel
self-conscious, Town Mouse.

104
00:05:53,123 --> 00:05:55,163
You look great. Own it.

105
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,163
Thanks.

106
00:05:58,163 --> 00:05:59,283
I'll take that.

107
00:06:02,203 --> 00:06:05,003
I think you're all really beautiful,
by the way.

108
00:06:05,003 --> 00:06:07,163
Not just tonight,
because you've dressed up.

109
00:06:07,163 --> 00:06:10,123
We know we're beautiful,
Town Mouse, inside and out.

110
00:06:10,123 --> 00:06:12,283
Don't need no-one telling us that.

111
00:06:12,283 --> 00:06:13,523
Ooh! What?!

112
00:06:13,523 --> 00:06:14,563
Nothing.

113
00:06:17,403 --> 00:06:20,323
Weird. Hey,
thanks for inviting me, by the way.

114
00:06:20,323 --> 00:06:21,763
To your special night.

115
00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:23,803
Don't normally enjoy parties.

116
00:06:25,243 --> 00:06:27,763
DISTANT CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

117
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:30,923
HIGH–PITCHED RINGING THROUGHOUT

118
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,243
Help me with this, Linda.

119
00:06:44,243 --> 00:06:45,283
Oh, God.

120
00:06:46,283 --> 00:06:50,443
I'm rubbish at fiddly things
like this and I hate pins.

121
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:51,963
It doesn't have to be perfect, Linda.

122
00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:54,443
It's the love what goes into
something what makes it special.

123
00:06:54,443 --> 00:06:55,923
Oh. That's where the magic comes from.

124
00:06:55,923 --> 00:06:58,123
Everything that at the Eel Festival
has been made

125
00:06:58,123 --> 00:07:00,323
with love by someone.

126
00:07:00,323 --> 00:07:02,283
Mutton dressed as lamb.

127
00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:05,763
What, me? No, what people call
older women what dress young.

128
00:07:05,763 --> 00:07:08,003
Hmm. I haven't had that in years.

129
00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:11,283
Just pick something, first
thing that catches your eye.

130
00:07:11,283 --> 00:07:13,523
Right. Well, I used to pick
this with my mum.

131
00:07:13,523 --> 00:07:14,763
Perfect. Yeah?

132
00:07:14,763 --> 00:07:15,803
OK.

133
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:18,723
I heard it shouted at my mum once.

134
00:07:18,723 --> 00:07:20,283
On her birthday. No.

135
00:07:20,283 --> 00:07:22,763
My mum only ever wore make-up
on special occasions.

136
00:07:22,763 --> 00:07:24,523
A little bit of lippy,
a bit of blusher.

137
00:07:25,843 --> 00:07:29,043
I used to love
watching her putting it on.

138
00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:33,483
I will never forget the look
on her face for as long as I live.

139
00:07:33,483 --> 00:07:34,563
Just four words.

140
00:07:37,203 --> 00:07:38,923
She was utterly crushed.

141
00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:44,283
Of course, she had to
front it out because I was there.

142
00:07:45,643 --> 00:07:48,683
"Just a bit of banter, eh?
Just a bit of banter."

143
00:07:50,443 --> 00:07:53,763
They will never know the trail
of devastation that they left,

144
00:07:53,763 --> 00:07:55,723
just a few seconds
out of their lives.

145
00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:59,003
She never got dressed up on
her birthday again.

146
00:08:00,683 --> 00:08:02,323
"Mutton dressed as lamb."

147
00:08:02,323 --> 00:08:07,683
Another derogatory term just
for women like, "gold digger",

148
00:08:07,683 --> 00:08:09,923
"prick tease", "slut",

149
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,763
"ball breaker", "battle axe",

150
00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:13,803
"harpy".

151
00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:19,363
Is there an equivalent term
for an older man who dresses young?

152
00:08:19,363 --> 00:08:21,723
A cunt? Oh!

153
00:08:21,723 --> 00:08:23,043
LAUGHTER
That's the one!

154
00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:24,003
Now get a pin...

155
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,403
...and just pin it on whatever you like.

156
00:08:28,963 --> 00:08:30,643
NOT THERE! Oh, my God!

157
00:08:32,683 --> 00:08:33,763
It's not funny!

158
00:08:36,443 --> 00:08:37,883
You're a natural, Town Mouse.

159
00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:39,603
Just go with your instinct.

160
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:42,363
You don't want too much of the same
thing in the one place, though.

161
00:08:42,363 --> 00:08:44,923
Or the same colour. Or size.

162
00:08:44,923 --> 00:08:46,563
Oh, right.
So it's not easy, then.

163
00:08:46,563 --> 00:08:48,603
I do have to think about it.

164
00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:53,443
Oh! I saw really good film at the
Palace earlier.

165
00:08:53,443 --> 00:08:56,323
Which one? OK, don't rush me.

166
00:08:56,323 --> 00:08:57,363
FBI thing.

167
00:08:57,363 --> 00:08:59,523
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

168
00:08:59,523 --> 00:09:01,643
Bloke with the smirky faces in it.

169
00:09:01,643 --> 00:09:03,043
You know, big eyebrow.

170
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,243
He was in that shit baby
film as well.

171
00:09:06,243 --> 00:09:09,843
And the musical
with the Australian woman.

172
00:09:09,843 --> 00:09:11,803
Big quiff!

173
00:09:11,803 --> 00:09:12,683
Him, not her.

174
00:09:12,683 --> 00:09:14,683
Mark Kermode.

175
00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:17,043
Who's that?
Uncle Isaiah had a commode.

176
00:09:17,043 --> 00:09:18,963
Was he in the OJ Simpson film?

177
00:09:18,963 --> 00:09:21,283
I haven't seen it. Made of oak.
He died on it.

178
00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:26,843
He was also in that film
with that woman who was in the other

179
00:09:26,843 --> 00:09:28,443
film by the same director.

180
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:31,603
And in the other film,
she wore a yellow jumpsuit.

181
00:09:31,603 --> 00:09:35,723
Annika Rice! His bum slipped
right down and they couldn't

182
00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:36,963
get him out. Imagine that.

183
00:09:36,963 --> 00:09:39,363
Trying to hoick a dead man
out of a toilet.

184
00:09:39,363 --> 00:09:42,723
Apparently, he still managed
to look dignified. What was it...?

185
00:09:42,723 --> 00:09:44,043
John Travolta.

186
00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:45,363
John Travolta!

187
00:09:45,363 --> 00:09:46,683
Film's called Face/Off.

188
00:09:46,683 --> 00:09:48,523
Well done, Carm!

189
00:09:48,523 --> 00:09:49,563
Oh!

190
00:09:52,443 --> 00:09:55,443
I couldn't remember what
a toe was called the other day.

191
00:09:55,443 --> 00:09:56,843
I called it a foot finger.

192
00:09:58,403 --> 00:09:59,803
The word for "plunger" escaped me.

193
00:09:59,803 --> 00:10:01,563
I told my plumber that
I used a shit sucker.

194
00:10:01,563 --> 00:10:02,603
JOY LAUGHS

195
00:10:06,283 --> 00:10:07,523
MEN CHEER IN THE DISTANCE

196
00:10:08,963 --> 00:10:11,883
Oh. Oh, that was a nice idea
of yours, Linda.

197
00:10:11,883 --> 00:10:14,963
Getting the men to bake the Eel pie
at the tree for the Verderer.

198
00:10:14,963 --> 00:10:17,283
Just didn't seem fair
him missing out.

199
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,803
You'd have been a good mum.

200
00:10:19,803 --> 00:10:21,483
Never thought about it?

201
00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:23,683
I just...

202
00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:26,683
I haven't...

203
00:10:26,683 --> 00:10:30,923
Why do women always have to explain
why they haven't had kids?

204
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:32,443
We're just chatting, Lin, is all.

205
00:10:32,443 --> 00:10:35,483
It's fine if you'd rather
not talk about it.

206
00:10:35,483 --> 00:10:38,403
One in three pregnancies
ends in miscarriage.

207
00:10:38,403 --> 00:10:40,323
Nothing to be ashamed of, Linda.

208
00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:42,203
I got two buried out in the woods.

209
00:10:42,203 --> 00:10:44,563
Planted trees on top of them.

210
00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:45,723
So they live on.

211
00:10:48,723 --> 00:10:50,123
I never got that far.

212
00:10:50,123 --> 00:10:51,363
Endometriosis.

213
00:10:51,363 --> 00:10:55,083
Joy's the only one who got
one in the back of the net.

214
00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:56,883
Oh.

215
00:10:56,883 --> 00:10:58,563
I'm... I'm really sorry.

216
00:10:58,563 --> 00:11:00,723
That's, that's really tough.

217
00:11:00,723 --> 00:11:04,203
It's just that, you know,
being a mother or not being a mother

218
00:11:04,203 --> 00:11:05,883
is not how I define myself.

219
00:11:05,883 --> 00:11:07,203
Never said it was.

220
00:11:09,723 --> 00:11:10,803
Well, then...

221
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:13,523
Well, then, you know, I just didn't
meet the right person, then.

222
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,443
Well, there you are, then.

223
00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:20,003
MEN CHEER IN THE DISTANCE

224
00:11:22,443 --> 00:11:25,083
The men got over the role reversal
this year, then, Carm?

225
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:27,123
Thinking they're loving
jumping over the fire?

226
00:11:27,123 --> 00:11:28,203
LINDA GASPS

227
00:11:28,203 --> 00:11:31,323
Is that what they're doing?

228
00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:33,443
Tradition goes
the Lady of the Flowers,

229
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,163
is which this year is the Man
of the Flowers, throws midsummer

230
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,283
flowers and herbs on the fire,
then jumps over it.

231
00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:40,043
Oh! Scares the dragons away,

232
00:11:40,043 --> 00:11:42,443
stops them from
poisoning our springs and wells.

233
00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:44,163
Well, good job, then.

234
00:11:44,163 --> 00:11:45,403
MOBILE TEXT ALERT PINGS

235
00:11:48,803 --> 00:11:50,483
Another dick pic, Lin?

236
00:11:50,483 --> 00:11:51,923
Yeah.

237
00:11:51,923 --> 00:11:54,523
Won't be a sec. Careful what you
reply, Linda.

238
00:11:54,523 --> 00:11:58,403
Once your vulva is up in the Cloud,
God knows where it'll end up.

239
00:11:58,403 --> 00:12:01,003
I'm a Catholic.
Even I haven't seen my vulva yet!

240
00:12:01,003 --> 00:12:03,523
I'm not about to put it on a Cloud.

241
00:12:11,723 --> 00:12:12,963
LAUGHTER IN THE DISTANCE

242
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:36,163
VOICE NOTE PING
Look, Siobhan, it is a boring lie.

243
00:12:36,163 --> 00:12:38,323
It would be much more exciting
if I'd killed someone

244
00:12:38,323 --> 00:12:39,403
or if I was a paedophile.

245
00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:40,763
But I haven't and I'm not.

246
00:12:40,763 --> 00:12:43,003
Just got a husband and kids at home.

247
00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:45,403
You know, a bit of support
wouldn't go amiss.

248
00:12:45,403 --> 00:12:47,083
Actually, a bit of compassion.

249
00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:50,923
Like I showed you when Father
William told Dad that you confessed

250
00:12:50,923 --> 00:12:53,563
to him to liking it when
dogs sniffed your private parts.

251
00:12:53,563 --> 00:12:57,203
And I'm sorry, I don't want to have
to bring that up again

252
00:12:57,203 --> 00:12:58,603
but you've made me.

253
00:13:01,163 --> 00:13:02,803
I'll tell them tonight.

254
00:13:04,003 --> 00:13:06,043
OK, bye.
VOICE NOTE PING

255
00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:15,763
Would have been much easier
if Faither had left

256
00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:18,883
a plan for the festival. He didn't
believe in writing nothing down.

257
00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:21,043
A convenient belief system
for Faither

258
00:13:21,043 --> 00:13:22,523
being illiterate, and all.

259
00:13:22,523 --> 00:13:24,803
Tradition went,
he'd tell his son everything.

260
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,683
But he never had one,
not a legitimate one in any case.

261
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:30,003
Tried passing you
off as one didn't he, Carm?

262
00:13:30,003 --> 00:13:31,723
Till you leaked on a pew.

263
00:13:32,723 --> 00:13:34,603
Thanks for waiting for me.

264
00:13:39,483 --> 00:13:41,243
About Faither's memorial.

265
00:13:42,523 --> 00:13:43,803
It don't sit right with us.

266
00:13:43,803 --> 00:13:45,123
He was a bad 'un, Linda.

267
00:13:45,123 --> 00:13:46,163
Oh, no.

268
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,243
So sorry.

269
00:13:49,603 --> 00:13:51,803
He wasn't...? A Jimmy Savile?

270
00:13:51,803 --> 00:13:53,923
No. But you were a bastard.

271
00:13:55,123 --> 00:13:57,763
Then left everything to Ryan,
his illegitimate

272
00:13:57,763 --> 00:13:59,603
and only son, when he turned 18.

273
00:13:59,603 --> 00:14:03,323
But Ryan doesn't identify as male,
and Faither was never a faither

274
00:14:03,323 --> 00:14:05,883
to them, so they don't want
anything to do with it.

275
00:14:06,883 --> 00:14:10,483
Oh, my God. Ryan will be
master of ceremonies tomorrow.

276
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:14,603
Eels don't have a gender neither,
so... outfit's nice.

277
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:18,083
We meet Ryan for the first time
tomorrow as our sibling.

278
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:20,443
Nervous, ain't we, Carm?
We are.

279
00:14:24,123 --> 00:14:25,483
Hmm.

280
00:14:25,483 --> 00:14:31,043
Well, then we'll have a minute's
silence and I'll deal with the rest.

281
00:14:31,043 --> 00:14:32,083
OK?

282
00:14:36,883 --> 00:14:40,443
Do people know that
Faither was a bad 'un? No!

283
00:14:40,443 --> 00:14:43,083
The community loved him.

284
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,203
It would absolutely
break them to find out.

285
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:50,963
Anyways, he's dead now,
so it's time to move on.

286
00:14:50,963 --> 00:14:52,883
It's time for change. Hmm.

287
00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:00,523
Who wears these?

288
00:15:00,523 --> 00:15:02,723
The ten best behaved children.

289
00:15:02,723 --> 00:15:04,123
Oh.

290
00:15:04,123 --> 00:15:05,883
What about all the kids
that aren't chosen?

291
00:15:05,883 --> 00:15:08,483
Never did the Verderer
no harm not being chosen.

292
00:15:08,483 --> 00:15:10,083
Ten years on the trot.

293
00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:15,203
Done right by them birds
living up that tree.

294
00:15:15,203 --> 00:15:16,563
He's a proper local hero.

295
00:15:16,563 --> 00:15:18,603
Can't have been easy, him being
scared of heights.

296
00:15:18,603 --> 00:15:21,483
And the dark. And shitting in bags.

297
00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:25,323
He's waited a long time to be an Eel
child, but he's earned his place

298
00:15:25,323 --> 00:15:26,883
alongside them kids.

299
00:15:26,883 --> 00:15:28,243
Pig Man can keep watch over the tree

300
00:15:28,243 --> 00:15:29,803
while the Verderer's at
the festival.

301
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,603
They might have rumbled us on them bones,

302
00:15:31,603 --> 00:15:34,363
but they've still got a way to
go before they can start felling.

303
00:15:34,363 --> 00:15:37,763
That won't stop them
if that tree's left unmanned.

304
00:15:37,763 --> 00:15:39,203
OWL HOOTS

305
00:15:39,203 --> 00:15:41,923
Listen! The other one will reply
in a minute.

306
00:15:41,923 --> 00:15:44,123
Yeah, we know, Linda.
We live in a wood.

307
00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:45,723
OWL HOOTS

308
00:15:45,723 --> 00:15:47,443
SHE GASPS
Oh, I love it so much!

309
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:52,643
I never knew it was two owls talking.

310
00:15:54,243 --> 00:15:55,803
More action than I've seen
in a while.

311
00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:57,363
Now we're talking!

312
00:15:57,363 --> 00:15:59,723
When was the last time
you had sex then, Linda?

313
00:15:59,723 --> 00:16:02,163
Oh, I don't remember.

314
00:16:02,163 --> 00:16:03,603
What about you lot?

315
00:16:03,603 --> 00:16:05,723
Oh, lunchtime. This morning.

316
00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:08,243
Menage a trois,
with me, myself and I.

317
00:16:08,243 --> 00:16:09,363
14th February.

318
00:16:09,363 --> 00:16:10,563
Blimey, that's precise.

319
00:16:10,563 --> 00:16:13,043
Must have been good. Yes, it was.

320
00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:15,003
Well, must have travelled
for that then, Joy.

321
00:16:15,003 --> 00:16:17,683
No, I didn't even
need to leave work.

322
00:16:21,923 --> 00:16:23,843
No! What?!

323
00:16:23,843 --> 00:16:25,763
It can't be...?

324
00:16:25,763 --> 00:16:27,403
No.

325
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,403
No!

326
00:16:29,403 --> 00:16:30,683
I won't believe it.

327
00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:31,723
Tell me!

328
00:16:34,283 --> 00:16:35,283
No!

329
00:16:37,603 --> 00:16:38,603
The Verderer?!

330
00:16:40,363 --> 00:16:42,003
So wrong, it's right, Joy.

331
00:16:44,483 --> 00:16:45,883
Hmm.

332
00:16:45,883 --> 00:16:47,803
His fans better not find out.

333
00:16:47,803 --> 00:16:50,083
Joy's fans better not find out.

334
00:16:56,563 --> 00:16:58,603
What's that?
DISTANT SINGING

335
00:16:58,603 --> 00:16:59,803
Men's night singing.

336
00:16:59,803 --> 00:17:01,843
It's normally the womenfolk.

337
00:17:01,843 --> 00:17:02,883
God, it's lovely.

338
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:12,083
Come and try this on for me, Linda.

339
00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:14,163
What, me?
Are you sure that's OK?

340
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:16,763
Need to pin it for height.

341
00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:18,003
Is that Faither's? Yeah.

342
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:19,323
It's so beautiful.

343
00:17:23,363 --> 00:17:25,603
Gonna have to try his horrible
codpiece on as well, do I?

344
00:17:25,603 --> 00:17:28,563
We've got other plans
for Faither's codpiece.

345
00:17:31,603 --> 00:17:34,283
Look, moon's out.

346
00:17:34,283 --> 00:17:35,323
Amazing, innit?

347
00:17:37,043 --> 00:17:38,203
Hold still, Linda.

348
00:17:38,203 --> 00:17:39,963
There's one more pin.

349
00:17:39,963 --> 00:17:43,323
Do you ever think, "I wonder
how many more full moons I'll see?"

350
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,363
Nope.

351
00:17:45,683 --> 00:17:46,683
All done.

352
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:58,643
MUSIC PLAYS
- Oh!
- Yes!

353
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,123
Come on, Joy.

354
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:06,083
MUSIC CONTINUES

355
00:18:09,403 --> 00:18:10,483
Come on, girls.

356
00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:13,483
TEXT MESSAGE ALERTS PING

357
00:18:22,363 --> 00:18:23,763
WHOOPING

358
00:18:23,763 --> 00:18:24,843
Come on, Joy.

359
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,083
If this was a film, we'd be naked.

360
00:18:38,603 --> 00:18:39,603
LAUGHTER

361
00:18:42,843 --> 00:18:44,803
LAUGHTER CONTINUES

362
00:18:44,803 --> 00:18:46,803
Joy, what are you doing?

363
00:18:46,803 --> 00:18:47,843
LAUGHTER

364
00:18:55,203 --> 00:18:57,643
SNORES GENTLY

365
00:19:01,483 --> 00:19:02,563
SHE SCREAMS

366
00:19:02,563 --> 00:19:03,763
What are you doing?!

367
00:19:03,763 --> 00:19:05,523
You're lucky I wasn't naked!

368
00:19:05,523 --> 00:19:07,883
Get out!
Best you come quiet, Linda.

369
00:19:07,883 --> 00:19:09,243
I'm not coming anywhere.

370
00:19:09,243 --> 00:19:12,323
You can't just come in here
and rip the covers off me.

371
00:19:12,323 --> 00:19:14,043
I've got tenant's rights!

372
00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:17,963
Don't make me bash your head
in and put you in a bucket.

373
00:19:17,963 --> 00:19:19,083
Come on, Linda.

374
00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:21,003
I need a wee.

375
00:19:21,003 --> 00:19:23,163
We should do this again sometime.

376
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:25,363
Let go, Linda!

377
00:19:30,723 --> 00:19:32,163
Just drag the bitch.

378
00:19:32,163 --> 00:19:34,083
Quick! What are you doing?

379
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:35,763
Oh, this is ridiculous.

380
00:19:36,803 --> 00:19:38,643
Pants are up my bum!

381
00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:40,923
Stop! I've got a hernia.

382
00:19:40,923 --> 00:19:42,723
There's no need for this.

383
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:44,883
Let go, Linda.

384
00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:46,123
THUD

385
00:19:46,123 --> 00:19:47,843
I'm too old for this shit.

386
00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:50,283
Tell me why we're going.
I might just...

387
00:20:02,003 --> 00:20:07,523
♪ Oh, Sally, my dearest
you, I'd be kissing

388
00:20:07,523 --> 00:20:11,323
♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
it's you I'd be kissing

389
00:20:13,123 --> 00:20:14,803
♪ She smiled and replied,

390
00:20:14,803 --> 00:20:18,883
♪ "You don't know
what you're missing."