1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:35,120 "If you, as a human being, have the capacity to recognize goodness and beauty, 4 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,760 and be excited by it." 5 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:43,760 "If you have the capacity to recognize injustice and act on it." 6 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:50,920 "If you have the capacity to recognize evil and distance yourself from it." 7 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:55,160 -I think that's how it went. -That's beautiful. 8 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,400 Why did that make you uncomfortable? 9 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,920 It wasn't what he said, it was ... 10 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,200 At first it was lovely. He looked at me and said those words. 11 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:11,680 But then something changed, and it felt dark and uncomfortable. 12 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:17,520 I usually can't remember my dreams, but this one I remember in detail. 13 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:22,600 -It's lodged in my body and won't let go. -And that's uncomfortable? 14 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:27,200 -Are you into David Bowie? -No, not at all. 15 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:33,600 I'm not even positive it was David Bowie, but ... 16 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:40,160 It began with me coming out of the toilet cubicle, wherever this was, 17 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:45,560 and he stood there washing his hands, and he looked at me in the mirror. 18 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:50,040 Our eyes met, and then he smiled and said that. 19 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,280 Or something along those lines. 20 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,880 At first, I didn't realize it was Bowie. I thought it was God. 21 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,640 -God? -Yes, God. 22 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,760 Then I thought it was Anni-Frid from ABBA. 23 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:09,040 But then I realized it was David Bowie. 24 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,880 And he was washing his hands? Earlier you said he was on his phone. 25 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:17,680 It changes. It's strange how dreams change when you start talking about them. 26 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:24,760 You fill in the blanks to create a coherent narrative. 27 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:32,360 It was Bowie, but whether he was washing his hands or on the phone, I'm not sure. 28 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,120 Anyway ... 29 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:40,760 Then he looked at me and smiled, and then he walked up to me ... 30 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,840 ... and then you had sex? 31 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,440 Uh ... no. 32 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,600 What? No. Why would you say that? 33 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,720 But there was something about the look in his eyes ... 34 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:58,400 It was calm, firm, friendly and full of compassion. 35 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:03,080 It was like I could surrender all my worries and just ... 36 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,160 He was taking charge from here. 37 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,200 And that felt so good. 38 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:12,560 It was only when he walked towards me I realized that he ... 39 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:18,360 He looked at me as if I was someone I didn't quite recognize. 40 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,880 Or rather ... 41 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,560 I didn't recognize myself in his eyes, you know? 42 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,360 I'm not entirely sure. 43 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,520 -I don't really understand it myself. -So how did he look at you? 44 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,680 It felt like he looked at me as if I was a woman. 45 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:45,760 And then ... he said hi ... or he sang hi, rather. Like, "Hello, you." 46 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,320 And I sang hi back at him. 47 00:06:54,160 --> 00:07:00,080 My voice sounded strange, but that didn't matter in the dream, somehow. 48 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:07,520 It was only when I woke up it went from feeling liberating to feeling ... 49 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,440 ... uncomfortable. 50 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,440 How odd, that he looked at you as if you were a woman. 51 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:17,120 -Was it sexual? -No, I ... I don't really know. 52 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:22,240 No, I've never thought about being another gender. 53 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,600 Nor have I felt attracted to men. 54 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:31,520 Those feelings can arise out of the blue even if you haven't felt them before. 55 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,320 I don't really think they can. Do you? 56 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,640 I think so. 57 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:41,200 I think ... I don't know if I should say this. 58 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,520 The thing is ... 59 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,520 I had ... 60 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,560 ... sex with a man yesterday. 61 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:53,280 You did? OK? A ... 62 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,520 A man ... Yesterday? 63 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,520 A client. We were sweeping his chimney. 64 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:05,880 Terje had left, and I was standing in the kitchen chatting to this guy. 65 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,960 We'd found some cracks in his chimney. 66 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:14,800 And then he suddenly asked if I wanted to have sex with him. 67 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:20,560 I thought I'd misheard him, but then he repeated himself. 68 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,680 I was so taken aback I started laughing. 69 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,240 I said no, of course. Thanks, but no thanks. 70 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,160 But ... 71 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,160 I couldn't get angry with him. Or maybe I could have ... 72 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:39,400 It was just completely out of the blue. Totally bonkers. 73 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:43,600 I walked out into the street and ... 74 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:49,360 I gave it some thought, and then ... 75 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,880 ... I went back inside. 76 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,120 -And then you had sex? -Yes. 77 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,120 Wow. Yeah, okay. That's ... 78 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:04,680 I'm just shocked. Maybe not shocked, I just didn't know you were gay. 79 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:09,280 You've never mentioned ... Have you? 80 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,440 No, no. I'm not gay. I know that much. 81 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:16,160 I've never done anything like that. That was the first time. 82 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,120 -If you're not gay, why did you do it? -Good question. 83 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,880 That's the thing. I'm not sure. Because I ... 84 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,920 But I think it was a bit like your dream. 85 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,520 Something about the way he looked at me. I've never had ... 86 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:36,520 ... anyone look at me like that, like they're lusting for me. 87 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:41,120 -Completely shameless. -That look, right. I don't know. 88 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,880 I don't think that's exactly how David Bowie looked at me ... 89 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:50,800 I know, it was just an association. But you look uncomfortable. I didn't want that. 90 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,840 But this was a client? You can't do that. 91 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,440 You can't have sex with clients, you understand that? 92 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,240 Yes, of course. I don't know what happened. 93 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,200 But what was it like? Wasn't it weird? 94 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,040 Yeah, it was a different thing altogether. 95 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,200 But it felt good. 96 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:14,640 It was actually pretty mind-blowing, to be honest. 97 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,560 You look embarrassed. I'm sorry. 98 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:23,040 -I get it. It's a bit much. -It is a bit much, but ... 99 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:28,800 I guess I think ... I just think ... I'm not sure quite what to think. 100 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:33,200 -Aren't you worried about STI's? -He used a condom. 101 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,520 -When he took me from be... -Yeah, okay. 102 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,520 But ... didn't it hurt? 103 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,800 Maybe a bit, but no, it was mostly ... 104 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,360 It was peculiar. 105 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,360 -So now you're ... -What? 106 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,280 -Gay? -No, no. 107 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:01,400 I don't plan on doing it again. But it was nice, in a way. 108 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:05,840 The feeling that a complete stranger ... 109 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,240 ... wanted me like that ... 110 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,440 ... and just surrender to it. 111 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:15,960 No, listen. I'm sorry. 112 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,000 I had actually decided I wasn't going to say anything. 113 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:23,000 It's a little ... Yeah, I don't know. 114 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,880 It's funny. I've never experienced anything like that before. 115 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,320 But it was kind of ... 116 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,040 ... sensational for me. 117 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,360 I need to talk about it. 118 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,240 And you're the only one I can talk to about this. 119 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,840 And my wife, of course. 120 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:46,000 -You didn't tell her? -Yes. As soon as I got home. 121 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:51,200 -How did she take it? -She was surprised. Astonished. 122 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:56,320 But that goes for me as well. I was bewildered, really. Physically as well. 123 00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:02,280 We talked about it. She said she didn't understand why I did it. 124 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,880 But neither do I, so ... 125 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,800 She wasn't upset? Or angry? 126 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:14,160 No, she wanted to know if this was the first time, which it was. 127 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:18,640 She knows that. If I'd done anything like that before, I would've told her. 128 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:23,080 -What was she meant to say? -What she was meant to say? 129 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,240 You cheated. And with another man. 130 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,320 She could have kicked you out. 131 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,520 Cheated? It was just sex. I wouldn't consider that cheating. 132 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:38,400 I don't consider having sex with someone else cheating. 133 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:42,160 -What's cheating, then? -Starting a relationship with someone else. 134 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,640 -Behind her back. -This is a bit much. 135 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,040 Surely you can hear yourself. 136 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,080 You had sex with a man, 137 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,920 and you describe it as something that just happened. 138 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,880 It can't be. You must've thought about it before. 139 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,880 You must've been attracted to men. It's not something you just do. 140 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:10,680 Something you do? I've never thought about it before, truly. 141 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,800 But I've also never been afraid of or wary of homosexuality. 142 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,680 I've just never been attracted to men. 143 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,040 I'm still not. 144 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,720 -More coffee? -No, thanks. 145 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,200 What? 146 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:48,520 I have to say I'm a bit shocked. I thought I knew you. 147 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:53,360 Well, you do. I haven't changed just because I've ... 148 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,520 I hope you don't see it that way. 149 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,040 If so, I regret telling you. 150 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:04,080 No, we're friends. You have to tell me what's going on. 151 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,720 I'm just ... 152 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,840 You're completely uninhibited, and I ... 153 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,920 I was embarrassed to walk next to my pregnant wife, 154 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,520 because people could tell we'd had sex. 155 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,960 Do you really think I'm completely uninhibited? 156 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,320 I've got my limits. I wouldn't just do anything. 157 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,200 Do you think I'm completely uninhibited? 158 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,600 I don't really think anything. 159 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,920 -Have you got any more calls today? -Yes, two. 160 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,840 I need to leave early, I've got this ... 161 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,440 That's another strange thing. 162 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,040 When I woke up from that dream, there was something about my voice ... 163 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,120 It sounds different. Can you hear it? 164 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:52,240 -You sound a bit raspy. -No, it's more like ... 165 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,080 It's in a different register, 166 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,800 and when I talk, I constantly need to clear my throat. 167 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,400 -And when I sing ... -When you sing? When do you sing? 168 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:06,440 -Oh yeah, you're in that choir. -That's it. 169 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:10,400 We have a concert coming up, and I've got a solo. 170 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,560 So I've got an appointment with a voice coach. 171 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:19,800 The conductor recommended her. I just need to pick up Klaus first. 172 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,160 Voice coach, then marching band practice. 173 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,440 It's non-stop. 174 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,400 Pity we didn't get to talk more about your dream. 175 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,520 I don't know how much more there is to say about it. 176 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,400 -When's the concert? -On Saturday. 177 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:38,880 We're singing a ... It's a weird thing, actually ... 178 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:45,080 The conductor, she's ... I think she's ... I think she's really good. 179 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:50,880 But she wants us to sing more experimental stuff. 180 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:55,440 Okay? Is this something one can attend? 181 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:59,120 Well, yeah, but I'm not sure it's really your cup of tea. 182 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:04,000 -Isn't that for me to decide? -Sure, it's open to all. 183 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,840 -Would you rather I didn't come? -No ... 184 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,880 Come if you want. Now you're warned. 185 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,240 Well ... 186 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:20,800 It's ... I was just thinking ... that ... 187 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:26,960 I'd prefer it if you didn't tell anyone about that dream. 188 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,280 I won't say anything. 189 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,160 The same goes for what I told you. 190 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,800 I kind of assumed you'd keep it to yourself. 191 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,320 Yes, of course. 192 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,520 -See you at the pool tomorrow. -Half past eight? 193 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,520 Half past eight. 194 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,600 Hi! 195 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,840 Hello. 196 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,800 -Did you work from home today? -No, I came home after lunch. 197 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,640 -I've been out in the garden. -That's nice. 198 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,640 Are you ready for the garden centre? Do you know what seeds we need? 199 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,120 Nasturtium and lupin. 200 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:43,040 -Unless there's something in that box. -No, there's nothing there. 201 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:48,440 Are the kids in? I thought we could grab dinner at IKEA. I just need a shower. 202 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,880 -Didn't you shower at work? -No, I rushed back. 203 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:56,400 They'll be home soon. The school called, by the way. 204 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,160 -Really? Why? -It was just a minute ago. 205 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:05,080 It seems Hans Petter has been asking his classmates how much their parents make. 206 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:10,520 They didn't like that, then? 207 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,400 I reckon they've had complaints. 208 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,720 But listen ... 209 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,320 What you told me yesterday ... 210 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,840 I can't let it go. 211 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:28,360 No ... 212 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:33,080 I think it affected me more than I realized. 213 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,400 It was the way you told me. Like it was no big deal. 214 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,120 As if it was good news ... 215 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,040 Good news? 216 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,520 I guess I just ... 217 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:51,040 -I felt a bit bewildered. -I didn't know how to react. 218 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:55,080 But I've been thinking about it all day, and ... 219 00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:00,040 You've cheated, you know. With a man. 220 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,880 That doesn't make it okay. 221 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,720 It definitely doesn't feel okay. 222 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,920 It washes over me in waves. 223 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,400 One moment, I'm like, all right. 224 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,280 But then ... 225 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,080 ... I just cry. I've been crying all day. 226 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,760 Hey ... Sweetheart. 227 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,440 Sweetie. 228 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,640 I didn't want it to be like this. 229 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,400 Sweetheart. 230 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,560 I understand why you reacted the way you did. 231 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,360 I did something I've never done before. 232 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,720 Without you knowing. 233 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,400 It threw me too. 234 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,920 -How do you mean? -I'd never thought I ... 235 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,520 But then I just did it. 236 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,280 I didn't think of it as cheating. 237 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:07,720 -I still don't. -What is cheating, then? 238 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,200 I told you straight away. 239 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:17,400 So cheating is fine as long as you tell your partner straight away? 240 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,440 For me, cheating is ... 241 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:26,920 -Cheating is hiding something. -I've been thinking about this all day. 242 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,400 I don't understand any of it. 243 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,840 How could you do it? 244 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,960 I don't ... 245 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:39,760 -I don't know. -And I'm thinking ... Are you gay? 246 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,200 -No! -Are you sure? 247 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,520 I can't see any other explanation. 248 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,120 Sweetheart. 249 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,640 Having one beer doesn't make me an alcoholic. 250 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,640 That's not how it works. 251 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,840 And I'm also wondering ... 252 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:07,360 Do you still love me? Do you want to be with me? 253 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,520 Yes! 254 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,360 Of course I do! 255 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,200 It's got nothing to do with that. 256 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,840 I'm ... I love you. 257 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,440 There's no one else I love like you. 258 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,840 I've never loved anyone this way. 259 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,920 -I've never been this happy with anyone. -So why have sex with someone else? 260 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,560 And a man, as well. It's completely ... 261 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,280 I don't understand anything. 262 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,880 How could you just do that? 263 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:50,360 It might sound strange to you, but for me ... 264 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:55,320 They're completely unrelated. It doesn't mean I care about you any less. 265 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,720 And I didn't think ... 266 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,520 Our love can't ... 267 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:08,040 ... be reduced to just not having sex with others. Can it? 268 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,600 Or maybe that's how it is? 269 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,800 When I say it out loud, I realize that maybe it is, but ... 270 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,880 I've looked at it all wrong. 271 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:22,120 But I don't understand what made you do it. 272 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:29,760 I guess I was ... I was turned on. 273 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,800 -I was aroused ... -You wanted him? 274 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,280 Yes. 275 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:44,720 Yes, I guess I picked up on it while we were chatting. 276 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:50,040 I could feel him looking at me. 277 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,160 At ... at my body. 278 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,920 And then he just asked me, point blank, if I wanted to have sex with him. 279 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:06,560 I said no, but when I was outside his house and had a chance to think, I ... 280 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,520 I realized I was actually really turned on. 281 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,000 And then ... Yeah. 282 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,680 So ... 283 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,440 No, this is ... 284 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:25,560 I can't make sense of this. 285 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:29,840 You're saying it wasn't cheating, it was just sex, it had nothing to do with us. 286 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,040 Would you have felt the same if it was a woman? 287 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,400 I don't know, really. 288 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,200 No, I don't think so. 289 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,840 I'm sure I wouldn't. 290 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:46,640 But this was just something completely different. 291 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,520 The fact that he looked at me ... 292 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:54,680 ... as someone who might want to have sex with him ... 293 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,200 -That ... -You were flattered? 294 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,400 Did you enjoy it? 295 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,800 I guess ... 296 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,000 Yes, it felt good. 297 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,560 Yes, it did. 298 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,320 And you didn't think about me? 299 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,520 No, I didn't, to be completely honest. 300 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:24,360 But you can't just have sex with everyone you fancy. 301 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,160 I mean, you can, but ... 302 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,200 But ... 303 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,760 But I don't. 304 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,520 I've never done this before. 305 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,720 You know that. 306 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,520 This is completely insane. 307 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,800 -Where are you going? -I don't know. 308 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,960 I'm going to do some more work. 309 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,120 You should take that shower. 310 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,320 Dad? 311 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,320 I've been thinking about starting my own YouTube channel. 312 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,560 What do you think about that? 313 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,760 Nothing as of yet. 314 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:39,200 -Why do you want to do that? -I feel like my grades aren't good enough. 315 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,080 Stop it. You're getting B's across the board. 316 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,000 Yeah, but I'm not getting any A's. 317 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,440 I'm nowhere near the top of the class. 318 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,840 I'm mediocre. 319 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,840 -Alice has a YouTube channel. -Put away your phone. 320 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,760 You're not mediocre ... 321 00:27:55,840 --> 00:28:00,360 -Does Alice have a YouTube channel? -Yes. 322 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,520 -Why does she have that? -I don't know ... 323 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:07,240 I guess she's figured out there's money to be made. 324 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,240 But is she making money? 325 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:16,040 No, not yet. But she has a lot of viewers. 326 00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:20,520 She says lots of brands have asked her to talk about their products. 327 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,200 "A lot of", not "lots of". 328 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,920 -What does she talk about? -All kinds of things. 329 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,840 She talks about what she likes and dislikes. 330 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,200 She talks about her mental health problems. 331 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,920 If she buys a new eyeliner, she makes a video about it. 332 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,920 But she also talks about things we've done in class. 333 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:46,840 She'll repeat normal, funny stuff someone said. 334 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:53,160 She doesn't come up with much of it herself. Almost nothing, actually. 335 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:57,880 But when she repeats something I said on her YouTube videos, 336 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,200 it becomes more ... 337 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:04,880 Not more important, exactly, but ... it becomes something. 338 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,840 You know? 339 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,920 Yeah. I guess ... 340 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,920 Anyway. I think her skin has improved as well. 341 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,880 As a result of her YouTube channel? 342 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:25,520 -Is that why you want to start one? -No. My skin isn't that bad, is it? 343 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:30,720 But I need to make a living. What else can I do? 344 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:35,160 Without good grades, I won't get a good job. Or a pension. 345 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,360 -Pension? -Yeah. 346 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,720 -Why are you talking about your pension? -Someone talked about it in class. 347 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:47,160 Jesus, you're thirteen! You can't be talking about your pension! 348 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:51,360 -What should we talk about, then? -That's not what matters. 349 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:04,720 Pension, comparing yourself to others ... None of that matters. 350 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,000 You've got great grades. 351 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:12,400 Compared to who? I think about it all the time. 352 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,400 I'm ... I'm not good enough. 353 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,760 Yes. You are. 354 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:24,560 You can't be so hard on yourself. Where has this come from? 355 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,800 I guess we're to blame for how you've turned out. 356 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:32,240 -It's not your fault. -Yes. All the bad stuff is our fault. 357 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:37,880 -Now you're being hard on yourself. -You saying that is also our fault. 358 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,200 -So no YouTube channel. -No, that's ... 359 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,040 -I think ... -All right. 360 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,040 -Are you still working? -Yes. 361 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,000 Am I interrupting? 362 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:06,000 When you said that you're in more pain than you've ever been in ... 363 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,400 That just kills me. 364 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,440 I didn't want it to be like this. 365 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,720 I'm sorry. 366 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,440 Is there anything I can do? 367 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,120 I don't know ... 368 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,960 Why are you wearing jogging bottoms? We're going to the garden centre. 369 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,720 I'll change before we leave. 370 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,080 -Hey ... -I don't know. 371 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,120 I think what hurts the most is that ... 372 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:46,000 I don't know you ... 373 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,760 ... anymore. 374 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,880 I don't know who you are. I can't trust you. 375 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,560 Maybe that's not a big deal, but ... 376 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,520 What if you want to do this again? 377 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,120 I won't. I told you. 378 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,880 How can you say that? You just did it. 379 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,200 And you said you liked it. How can I trust you? 380 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,960 Because I'm telling you. 381 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,120 -I promise. -You can't make that promise. 382 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,640 Sexual urges aren't that easily controlled. 383 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:22,200 Okay? Wait ... Why not? 384 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,880 That's just the way it is. 385 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,400 Is it? Okay. 386 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:34,520 -You're just full of cliches. -Oh really? 387 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,800 That's just nonsense. 388 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,760 You know that. 389 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:46,080 Of course you can control your sexual urges. 390 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:52,000 And we've been ... Think about it, we've been together for twenty years. 391 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:56,400 I've been trustworthy the whole time. Why can't you believe me now? 392 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,080 I just ... 393 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,760 I'm not even sure I want you to promise me. 394 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:06,720 Definitely not if it's just because you think I can't handle it. 395 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:10,520 I want you to be free to do whatever you want. 396 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:16,320 That's what love is. Loving someone unconditionally, setting them free. 397 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,040 "If you love somebody, set them free." 398 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:24,360 I'm not doing that if I make you promise me something against your will. 399 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:28,400 But I want to do it. I want to do it because I love you. 400 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:33,640 Because I don't want you to feel insecure and sad. What? 401 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:40,360 I wanted you to say that you wouldn't do it because you didn't want to. 402 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:45,520 That would have been better than you doing it because ... 403 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:50,520 ... it makes me feel insecure and sad. 404 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,160 That just makes me feel fragile. 405 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:59,040 What you're really saying is that you might do it again, 406 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,640 if I wasn't so weak. 407 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,120 What are you thinking? 408 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,560 -It was just sex. -Just sex? 409 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,760 It's not "just sex" for me. 410 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,840 It's the most intimate thing we do. It's what we share. 411 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,520 It's what you and I share. 412 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,520 We're never as close as when we have sex. 413 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,720 Don't you agree? 414 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,960 -Why are you so quiet? -Because ... 415 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:38,040 If you're not even nodding, it feels like you disagree or you're hiding something. 416 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:44,200 I'm sorry. But to me, intimacy is ... this, what we share between us. 417 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:50,440 This is what's intimate to me. Not sex. 418 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:55,120 Well, sex is also intimate, but that's just physical. 419 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:59,520 That's still there. That's not disappeared just because ... 420 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,520 But ... Sorry, you weren't finished. 421 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,600 Just because I did that with him. 422 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,520 But that's precisely the point. 423 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,440 Now you've shared that with someone else. 424 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,280 Take your face when you're coming. 425 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:24,200 You look so vulnerable, and it's the closest I ever feel to you. 426 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,920 I want to be the only one who sees that. 427 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,800 I just ... I don't think I've ever ... 428 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,680 Maybe there's a vulnerability there, but it's not ... 429 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:39,160 You want to own that facial expression? 430 00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:45,160 It sounds horrible when you say it like that. 431 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:50,400 I just want to be the only one who ... There's nothing strange about that. 432 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:56,600 No, but ... When I go to the chiropractor or the barber, 433 00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,320 that's also someone else touching me. 434 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,280 But you can't compare those. 435 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,120 You can't compare sex and physical treatment. 436 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:08,600 Both involve someone else touching me, causing reactions and facial expressions. 437 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,760 That's not the same. You know what I mean. 438 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,720 What about me? What about my face when I come? 439 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,640 -Do you want someone else to see that? -I guess not ... 440 00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,400 I don't think I've thought about it that way. 441 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:30,000 We're so close when you come, so I don't really know what you look like. 442 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,080 That's because you close your eyes. 443 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,080 Do I? 444 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,560 Maybe I do. 445 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:45,440 I feel you in my body, of course, but your face ... I don't know. 446 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,240 You must have seen it. 447 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,440 I can't think straight right now. 448 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:57,240 -Did you see his facial expression? -No. 449 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:02,800 But you ... felt him in your body? 450 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:07,640 I have to ask. I don't know how men have sex with each other. 451 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:12,000 -Like, what did you do? -What we did? 452 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,760 No, I mean ... 453 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,440 I don't know if I want to talk about it. 454 00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:25,200 Why not? You don't usually mind talking about sex. 455 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,160 No. 456 00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:33,080 He started ... 457 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,800 He started ... 458 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,200 ... by touching me. 459 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,040 My groin. 460 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:49,640 Outside my trousers. And then ... 461 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,880 Did you touch him back? 462 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,720 What else? 463 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:01,960 Then, he ... 464 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:08,080 Then he undid my fly and ... 465 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,520 This is unnecessary. You can imagine what happened. 466 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,440 No, I can't. I want you to tell me. 467 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,960 All right. Well, he ... 468 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:26,400 He started ... touching me, on my ... 469 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:31,720 Did you undo his fly as well? 470 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,960 Did you kiss him? 471 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,280 -Yeah, I had to. -You had to? 472 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,800 Well, I did. 473 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,200 And then ... 474 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:56,360 Did you just stand there and touch each other? 475 00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:00,680 Did you do anything else? Please answer me. 476 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,800 Please. 477 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:10,040 We stood like that for a bit, and then ... 478 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,520 -And then, I guess he took me from behind. -You "guess"? 479 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,360 He fucked you in the ass? 480 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,160 Did you have anal sex? 481 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:28,720 Yes. 482 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:36,400 Yeah, I ... 483 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,520 Was he ... 484 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,320 Or, what did he look like? 485 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,720 He was a bit older than me. 486 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,520 Taller. 487 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,080 His hair was thinning. 488 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,120 Fat? Skinny? 489 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:08,200 A bit stockier than me. 490 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:13,920 -Was he handsome? -Handsome? No ... 491 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:19,120 Quite charming, I guess. 492 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:23,240 -He was very friendly. -Friendly? 493 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,320 Wasn't it painful? 494 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,520 Yes, a bit, maybe. At first. 495 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:42,680 And then it felt good? 496 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,200 Did he come? 497 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,520 And you, did you come too? 498 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,520 But... 499 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:57,800 It's... What was it like ... 500 00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:02,280 Was your ass sore afterwards? 501 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:06,600 Yeah, I guess. A bit. 502 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,760 A bit? 503 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,040 I don't want to talk about this. 504 00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,880 Surely you can tell me whether your ass was sore after? 505 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,920 Yes, it was a bit sore. 506 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,600 -Hello! -Hi! 507 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,320 I'm done talking about this. 508 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,320 It was just completely different. Okay? 509 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,520 I'm not going to do it again. 510 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,680 What's up? 511 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,520 I can explain. 512 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:51,000 My son here is in a marching band and I sing in a choir. 513 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:55,840 Several of the people in the choir have children in the marching band. 514 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,000 Because the choir conductor also conducts the marching band. 515 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:02,600 She's recruited us, and she's very ambitious. 516 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:08,840 Now we're having a joint concert, and I'm singing a solo. 517 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,760 And that ... I don't have much of a voice ... 518 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,880 What kind of choir is it? A church choir? 519 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,520 It's just a normal choir. 520 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:28,360 But over the last few days, my voice has sounded so different. 521 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,640 -Different? -It just changed all of a sudden. 522 00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:34,200 -Changed how? -Have you seen this before? 523 00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:38,520 -How has it changed? -It's become ... more ... 524 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,840 It's drier, and higher, and further back. 525 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,600 It's hard to explain. It's just the past few days. 526 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:51,000 Has something happened? Something that might have stressed you out? 527 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:56,120 I'm not a psychologist, but it's not unheard of 528 00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,400 for people to have experiences which deeply affect them. 529 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,920 Not necessarily anything traumatic, just something that ... 530 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:08,520 Something stress-inducing, which can affect the voice. 531 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:13,160 Uh ... I don't know, really. 532 00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:18,360 I sing in the shower, and yesterday my voice suddenly sounded so different. 533 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,800 I feel like my speaking voice has changed as well. 534 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:27,880 Your speaking voice too? Do you have a sore throat? 535 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,600 No, it's not really that. 536 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:36,120 You wouldn't know if I sound different, since we've never met before. 537 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,160 Does he sound different to you? 538 00:43:39,240 --> 00:43:42,840 Not really. Maybe a bit higher? 539 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,840 Let's hear it, then. 540 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:50,920 -If you ... -What do you want me to sing? 541 00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:56,520 Anything. Sing whatever you were singing in the shower. 542 00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:06,040 Ingerid Sletten from Sildejord Had neither silks nor fur 543 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:13,120 Just a little cap made of coloured wool That her mother had given to her 544 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:16,360 Great! But when you were singing now ... 545 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:21,520 It sounds like you might have a tongue blockage. 546 00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:28,280 The tongue is a muscle, and if it tenses up for whatever reason, 547 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:32,960 it can become an obstruction in the oral cavity. 548 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,240 And that can affect the sound of your voice. 549 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,520 Let's see. 550 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:45,440 Can you just stick your tongue out? 551 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:49,200 -Like this? -Is that as far as it goes? 552 00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:54,800 I'm going to stretch it and see if the muscle relaxes. 553 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,400 Does it hurt? 554 00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,120 It's uncomfortable, but I can feel it relaxing. 555 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:20,880 If you can get rid of whatever is causing that resistance, 556 00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,920 you will have greater control of your voice. 557 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:28,520 Okay. But what's caused this? A tense tongue? 558 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:34,040 It could be a number of things. But it's most likely up here. 559 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,440 And here. 560 00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,600 And maybe here. 561 00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:47,840 I don't want to harp on about the stress thing, but ... 562 00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:53,520 Our lives are full of events we have to react to in some way. 563 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:59,640 And even if it's not something major, it can still feel challenging. 564 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,400 Have you heard about or read anything by Hannah Arendt? 565 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:07,720 No. 566 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,040 She was a philosopher. 567 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:15,560 I just finished this book, and I recommend it to everyone. 568 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,800 She ... wrote a lot about freedom. 569 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,280 What freedom is and how to attain it. 570 00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:26,160 And she draws a distinction between the social and public spheres. 571 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:29,960 In the social sphere, we are preoccupied with 572 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,960 identity and belonging to a group. 573 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,880 We're concerned with fitting in and being acknowledged. 574 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:41,400 But Arendt thinks humans are so much more. 575 00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:47,440 And that we shouldn't be reduced to whatever is acceptable to a small group. 576 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:52,360 She argued that everyone is unique as individuals 577 00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:55,640 and that we need to be part of a greater community 578 00:46:55,720 --> 00:46:58,600 which allows for differences and disagreement. 579 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,840 where we can be subjectively thinking individuals. 580 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:06,240 And that is the public sphere. 581 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:11,960 So whereas the social sphere is fertile soil for totalitarianism and fascism, 582 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:18,320 the public sphere facilitates the liberation of the individual. 583 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,920 That's in brief, and in my own words, but ... 584 00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:32,520 Is God a part of the social or the public sphere? 585 00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:35,240 God? I don't know. 586 00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,560 I don't believe in God. 587 00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:40,160 Maybe both. 588 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:49,320 But how does that relate to the voice, do you think? 589 00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:51,520 I just ... 590 00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,120 There was just something about you when you walked in. 591 00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:57,320 I'm sorry. 592 00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:01,400 Anyway, take the book. I've already read it. 593 00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,320 Are you ready to give it another go? 594 00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:08,760 Yes. 595 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,680 Stick your tongue out. 596 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,680 That's it. 597 00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,400 Why did you lie to the singing teacher? 598 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:22,320 You usually sing "Tell me the old, old story Of unseen things above" 599 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:26,520 -I guess I didn't remember it. -But you sing it in the shower every day. 600 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:32,000 Hey! We need a couple of strong men to help us carry this fridge. 601 00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,200 Could you lend us a hand? 602 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,520 Yeah, I reckon that's doable. 603 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,000 I've got it. 604 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,040 -Grab the other end. -Hold on. 605 00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,040 Brilliant, lads. 606 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,080 Brilliant. 607 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:26,520 Just put it here, and my husband will do the rest when he comes home. 608 00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:40,160 Lucky for us that you walked by. 609 00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:43,360 Good stuff. 610 00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:48,080 -They didn't even say thank you. -They didn't? 611 00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:51,400 They just said "great" and "brilliant". 612 00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:55,320 -Is your hand all right? -I think it got trapped. 613 00:49:56,400 --> 00:50:00,040 But you can move it? At least it's not broken, then. 614 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:38,400 A kind of portal. 615 00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:43,240 -A pergola, you mean? -Yes, that's it. 616 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,520 The same colour as the house? 617 00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:50,600 That would be cool. 618 00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:53,120 We could extend the deck. 619 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:58,560 Maybe we could put vegetable containers over there. 620 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,760 Is that an idea? The boys might enjoy it. 621 00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:05,560 Would you like to grow tomatoes? 622 00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:10,440 It would be fun for them to watch them grow in spring. 623 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,560 I can't think about gardening right now. 624 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:19,120 -What's the matter? -I just ... 625 00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:25,320 If it was me who had slept with someone else. 626 00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,360 How would you have reacted? 627 00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:29,400 -You did. -No, I didn't. 628 00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:31,280 You did. 629 00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:35,440 When we first started going out, you slept with your ex. 630 00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:40,160 That was just to make sure. It didn't mean anything. 631 00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:44,320 You were really upset and frustrated. 632 00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:49,680 It was just weird that you had to sleep with him to decide you wanted me. 633 00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:53,760 I didn't understand how that could help you decide one way or another. 634 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:57,880 What if the sex had been really good? 635 00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,000 Would you have chosen him? 636 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:06,800 What was the reasoning? 637 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:10,600 You can't choose your partner based on how good the sex is. 638 00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:15,440 If so, relationships would change from week to week. 639 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:21,440 Before we met, we had sex with lots of people. 640 00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:26,840 That didn't matter. It was meaningless sex. 641 00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,640 You said that too. It was just sex. 642 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,000 Now it suddenly means everything? 643 00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:40,720 I don't understand what's changed. Suddenly it's the only thing that matters. 644 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:42,840 It's because ... 645 00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:48,520 That was so long ago. Everything is different now. 646 00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,640 I know that, I'm just trying to understand ... 647 00:52:52,720 --> 00:52:56,040 Why is it impossible to think like that now? 648 00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,440 What's changed? Is it our morals? 649 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:04,000 What? 650 00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:07,840 -Answer me, please. -I have to think. 651 00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,840 I don't know what to say. 652 00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:15,640 But it's definitely not about morals. 653 00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:20,400 It's about the fact that we decided to get married. 654 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:26,400 Marriage isn't just about restricting our sexuality. 655 00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:30,400 No, it's about being a couple. 656 00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:33,040 Of course. 657 00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,680 I don't know why I'm saying all this ... 658 00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:42,400 ... all this nonsense. 659 00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,880 There you are! 660 00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:24,920 Doesn't that hurt? 661 00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:28,120 It looks painful. 662 00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,240 What ... What is this? 663 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,160 A dreamcatcher. A gift from Louise. 664 00:55:42,240 --> 00:55:45,960 She bought them for everyone on holiday. 665 00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,600 Do you think it's ugly? I like it. 666 00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:52,680 -Who is Louise again? -The girl who started before Christmas. 667 00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:56,400 She's been on sick leave. She got sick almost immediately. 668 00:55:56,520 --> 00:56:01,160 Very sweet girl. I've told you about her. 669 00:56:01,240 --> 00:56:07,080 She looks a bit like Marit Bjørgen. And her partner had gender-affirming surgery. 670 00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:09,200 Oh yeah ... 671 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,880 Must be weird not recognizing your own reflection in the mirror. 672 00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:17,520 It's about more than your reflection, don't you think? 673 00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:21,560 It's not about the haircut or the face. 674 00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:25,520 It's about the inside. Or maybe the eyes. 675 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:32,040 And you do whatever is necessary to make the inside match the outside. 676 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:37,160 At its core, it's about getting to a place where you feel free. 677 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:42,560 Isn't that why you're stretching your tongue? To be free? 678 00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:47,840 -Free from what? -Free from, free to. I don't know. 679 00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:53,040 I don't hear a difference in your voice, but something is clearly bothering you. 680 00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,120 Sing something. 681 00:56:55,200 --> 00:57:00,960 -Tell me the old, old story -Of unseen things above ... Yes? 682 00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:05,120 Tell me the old, old story Of unseen things above 683 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:09,440 Of Jesus and His glory Of Jesus and His love 684 00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:13,360 Yeah, you sound completely fine. 685 00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:17,360 -Is there something else? -Now you remember it. 686 00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:20,120 But you couldn't in front of the voice coach. 687 00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:23,880 And you avoided telling her it was a church choir. 688 00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:26,240 -Were you embarrassed? -No! 689 00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:29,000 People are just so prejudiced. 690 00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:32,640 Maybe it was a bit cowardly. It just didn't feel right. 691 00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:35,360 It's not always that easy. 692 00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:39,080 I understand. Don't think of it as cowardly. 693 00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:44,960 -How's your hand? -I can't even grab the shampoo bottle. 694 00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:48,760 -Is it sprained? -I hope not. I've got so much to do. 695 00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:51,120 Sewing and playing. 696 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:56,080 I can't play the cornet like this. 697 00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:01,320 If it's not better tomorrow, we'll go see the doctor. 698 00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:03,440 It has to be. 699 00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,400 Sleep tight. Good night. 700 00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:20,240 Hans Petter doesn't understand why you can't ask people how much they make. 701 00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,400 What did you tell him? 702 00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,760 He doesn't understand why it offends people. 703 00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:33,960 But I think it was quite uncomfortable for him in the end. 704 00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:38,040 He thought we were making a lot. 705 00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:42,880 But it turns out most of the other parents make a lot more. 706 00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:45,520 Can you keep your pants on? 707 00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,680 Hey ... It can't be like this. 708 00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:19,800 Can you please forgive me? 709 00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:23,600 Do you think you could? 710 00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,520 I'll never do it again. I promise. 711 00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:32,320 The libido is so strong, I don't think you can control it. 712 00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,520 -If so, it could happen to you too. -No. 713 00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:38,360 I don't want to have sex with anyone else. 714 00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:42,080 That's the difference between us. I don't, but you do. 715 00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:44,800 No, I don't. 716 00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:48,120 I don't know what else I can say. 717 00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,800 Desire is ... something that just comes over you, out of the blue. 718 00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:53,640 It's not something you can control. 719 00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:59,080 I could suddenly want ... lots of things. 720 00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:03,360 But feeling desire is not the same as acting on it. 721 01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:07,680 Acting on that desire is a choice. 722 01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:15,400 But I don't know if I can promise to never desire anyone else. 723 01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:21,400 If you want to ... own both my body and my thoughts. 724 01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:25,640 Do you know what? 725 01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,560 I want you to own it. 726 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,960 If that makes you happy. 727 01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:37,640 I want you to be happy. It's the only thing I want. 728 01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:43,280 -I want you to be happy too. -But I'm happy when you're happy. 729 01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:48,400 But that ... That's not good. 730 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,120 The worst part is ... 731 01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:12,360 The worst part is that a part of me ... is jealous of you. 732 01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:16,640 I can admit that I've had thoughts ... 733 01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:20,000 I've wanted to do something like that too. 734 01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:24,200 But when you did that, 735 01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:28,000 it was so damned ... 736 01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:31,440 It's so damned painful being on the other side. 737 01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:37,040 I didn't realize it would hurt this much. 738 01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:40,400 Maybe that's it. I'm sure you didn't either. 739 01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:44,640 No, not at all. 740 01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:48,840 That's the awful thing, because in theory ... 741 01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:51,640 And this is the truth ... 742 01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:56,120 In principle, I think we should both have that freedom. 743 01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:59,080 But if that freedom is so painful ... 744 01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,520 Can I endure that? 745 01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:18,360 Right now, I don't know if I want to be in this relationship anymore. 746 01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:21,520 What do you mean? 747 01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:26,000 Do you want to break up? 748 01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:32,440 I just don't understand how we can ... move past this. 749 01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:35,400 I don't know. 750 01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:40,040 I feel completely ... 751 01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:43,360 Completely lost. 752 01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:47,440 Hey. 753 01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:54,400 No, please don't. I can't. I'm sorry. 754 01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:04,760 -Do you want me to sleep somewhere else? -Yes, maybe. 755 01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:08,560 No, you stay. 756 01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:12,400 I can't lie in this bed. 757 01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,000 What is it? 758 01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:57,440 My dreams ... 759 01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:00,440 They've been unsettling lately. 760 01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:03,200 What are they about? 761 01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:06,720 I'm dreaming that I ... 762 01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:10,640 Is the skin peeling on your back? 763 01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:12,840 -What? -Yes! 764 01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:17,280 Your skin is really dry. Is it dry elsewhere as well? 765 01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:21,640 Look at this! 766 01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:24,840 That's a bit unpleasant. 767 01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,760 -Maybe it's psoriasis or something. -What? 768 01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:30,200 You should get it checked out. 769 01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:33,200 Hey! 770 01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:36,200 -Is something wrong? -No. 771 01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:39,040 How's your hand? 772 01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:41,800 It's so painful I can't button my shirt. 773 01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:44,160 My goodness. Let me see. 774 01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:51,520 Is it swollen? 775 01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:57,320 It's not broken, at least. 776 01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,680 Can you take Klaus to the doctor this afternoon? 777 01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:06,320 Then you can ask about the skin thing while you're there. 778 01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:20,040 -This is my old shirt. -Yes? 779 01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:27,440 I'm off to work. Will you take the kids to school? 780 01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:30,360 How are you doing? 781 01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:33,720 I'm confused. 782 01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,440 -I think I need to talk to someone. -You can talk to me. 783 01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:40,320 Someone else. I'm meeting Hanne after work. 784 01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:42,520 I see. 785 01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:46,040 Are you going to tell her everything? 786 01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:48,400 Yes ... 787 01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:51,920 -Are you uncomfortable with that? -It's just that it's about me. 788 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,640 It's about me too. 789 01:05:54,720 --> 01:05:57,560 Where are you meeting her? Are you having dinner? 790 01:05:57,640 --> 01:06:01,520 We're just getting coffee at a café near work. 791 01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:06,440 I'll let you know if we end up getting dinner. 792 01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:08,160 Bye. 793 01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:22,600 Hey. 794 01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:27,520 -Were you in a good mood that day? -What do you mean? 795 01:06:27,560 --> 01:06:31,800 Yeah, I guess. Why do you ask? 796 01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:35,560 Your back is straight when you're in a good mood. 797 01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:40,160 Bursting with confidence. That's very attractive. 798 01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:47,240 It's like you're open to anyone or anything. 799 01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:55,320 My mum used to call it being easy. 800 01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:57,840 I don't know. 801 01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,080 Why are you so stupid? 802 01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:05,440 This is a fire trap in its current state. 803 01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:35,920 -Shall I come up? -Yes. 804 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:38,080 I think you should. 805 01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:39,840 Okay. 806 01:09:57,720 --> 01:09:59,320 Hey. 807 01:10:02,280 --> 01:10:04,120 Are you alright? 808 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:08,520 I'm sorry, I had a dizzy spell. I started shaking. 809 01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:13,760 I see. Terje is on a job around the corner. Why didn't you call him? 810 01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:18,200 He was going to the hardware store, so I thought I'd rather call you. 811 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:24,360 Okay. Do you want help getting down, or should we just sit for a bit? 812 01:10:38,880 --> 01:10:44,120 People are so strange. These people had covered the fireplace with wallpaper. 813 01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:48,360 -I've seen that before. -I know, it just upset me. 814 01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:55,840 And all day I've been thinking about what I told you yesterday. 815 01:10:56,800 --> 01:11:00,520 My wife and I were talking all night last night. 816 01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:04,120 -I've hardly slept. -I thought it might be that. 817 01:11:05,680 --> 01:11:07,840 It wasn't that easy after all? 818 01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:16,960 Maybe I shouldn't have told her. 819 01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:21,080 But that wouldn't have felt right. 820 01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:24,440 Then it would feel like cheating. 821 01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:27,120 -Am I way off base? -I don't know ... 822 01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:33,720 At least you know what you're feeling. 823 01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:40,520 Still, I can't quite believe you thought it would be that easy. 824 01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:43,400 That was perhaps a tad naive. 825 01:11:43,520 --> 01:11:46,560 You tried to do the impossible. 826 01:11:46,640 --> 01:11:49,440 I haven't tried to do anything. 827 01:11:51,280 --> 01:11:54,800 I'm so worried everything is ... unravelling. 828 01:11:54,880 --> 01:11:58,760 No, that's ... Well, maybe ... 829 01:11:59,720 --> 01:12:02,360 If it's any consolation, you're not the only one. 830 01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:09,920 -Did you dream you were a woman again? -Yes. Well, not that I was a woman, but ... 831 01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:12,680 ... that people look at me as if I were a woman. 832 01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:18,840 -But it was the same dream? -Yes. Or no. David Bowie was there. 833 01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:27,880 Or he showed up after a while. We were at a party, on this sofa, and I ... 834 01:12:29,200 --> 01:12:34,400 And you were there. All the lads were there, just laughing and joking. 835 01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:37,960 Then David Bowie walks in with someone else. 836 01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:41,440 He spots me across the room and comes over. 837 01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:49,240 He looks at me as if he's really happy to see me. 838 01:12:50,040 --> 01:12:53,120 I stand up and give him a hug. 839 01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:58,840 And I can tell you all are impressed that I know him. 840 01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:00,520 And ... 841 01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:08,800 He puts his hand out, and I take it, and then we walk out into something ... 842 01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:14,400 ... green ... and bright ... 843 01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:23,200 And as we're walking, it feels like I'm growing taller. 844 01:13:23,280 --> 01:13:28,560 This sounds completely nuts, but for me ... 845 01:13:29,520 --> 01:13:34,840 He put his hand on my back like this and pushed me forwards. 846 01:13:36,080 --> 01:13:41,160 And I can feel something in my body, a lightness. 847 01:13:41,240 --> 01:13:43,240 A possibility that ... 848 01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:50,720 -But when I wake up ... -It's uncomfortable. 849 01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:55,240 It actually sounds really nice. 850 01:13:55,320 --> 01:13:59,160 They're all nice things. 851 01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:04,360 You're so open. 852 01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:07,880 What's your opinion of me? What do you think about me? 853 01:14:07,960 --> 01:14:10,040 My opinion of you? 854 01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:12,880 You're a really nice bloke. 855 01:14:15,760 --> 01:14:18,560 -Yeah? -You're funny. 856 01:14:18,640 --> 01:14:23,160 You're a great superior. Always very clear. 857 01:14:23,240 --> 01:14:25,400 Caring. 858 01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:29,680 And you're Christian. Maybe that's part of it. 859 01:14:33,240 --> 01:14:36,640 -Do I talk about that a lot? -No, never, really. 860 01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:41,760 I don't think it affects my opinion of you. 861 01:14:41,840 --> 01:14:44,080 But maybe it affects you. 862 01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:48,680 How's your wife doing? 863 01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:53,680 She's devastated. I can't blame her. 864 01:14:53,760 --> 01:14:55,960 I've hurt her in a way that ... 865 01:14:57,240 --> 01:15:00,520 She's going to talk to one of her girlfriends about it today. 866 01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:03,080 I don't know. 867 01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:05,800 I understand why she needs it, but ... 868 01:15:05,880 --> 01:15:08,520 It still feels like a betrayal. 869 01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:13,240 -But you've talked to me about it. -I don't know what her version is like. 870 01:15:13,320 --> 01:15:15,360 How it'll make me look. 871 01:15:15,440 --> 01:15:17,320 She could say ... 872 01:15:17,400 --> 01:15:19,400 I don't think that's fair. 873 01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:25,280 You have to trust that she talks about you the way you talk about her. 874 01:15:25,360 --> 01:15:32,520 I can see why she needs to discuss it with someone, get another perspective. 875 01:15:32,560 --> 01:15:35,840 What's her friend like? 876 01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:39,960 My wife says your life is shaped by those you speak to. 877 01:15:40,040 --> 01:15:44,760 So you have to talk to people who make the world bigger, not smaller. 878 01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:46,400 I don't know ... 879 01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:50,520 Her name is Hanne. I guess she's ... 880 01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:55,200 ... someone who makes the world smaller. 881 01:19:51,520 --> 01:19:57,240 -How was school today? -Alice got her period. 882 01:19:57,320 --> 01:20:00,920 She had really bad cramps. 883 01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:04,800 She's making a YouTube video about it. 884 01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:06,320 Oh. 885 01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:11,960 -Does she talk to you about it? -That's not so strange, is it? 886 01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:15,520 She says I give her the best feedback. 887 01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:18,840 But when it comes to her period, I don't ... 888 01:20:18,920 --> 01:20:23,160 I asked her to describe the pain, and she said she was nauseous 889 01:20:23,240 --> 01:20:25,800 and that it felt like she'd eaten metal. 890 01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:30,520 And that she had cramping all the way down her legs. 891 01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:38,320 And she has to deal with that her whole life. That seems unfair. 892 01:20:38,400 --> 01:20:42,080 Not her whole life. It stops at a point. 893 01:20:42,160 --> 01:20:46,440 -Mum still gets her period? -Yes. 894 01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:49,600 But in a couple of years, she'll go through menopause. 895 01:20:49,680 --> 01:20:52,000 And then ... 896 01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,000 ... that part ... 897 01:20:55,280 --> 01:20:57,680 ... will be over. 898 01:20:57,760 --> 01:21:01,200 How did you respond? What did you say? 899 01:21:02,160 --> 01:21:04,400 I told her ... 900 01:21:04,520 --> 01:21:07,360 What you tell me when I think about death. 901 01:21:07,440 --> 01:21:11,640 One day we'll all die, but on all the others we will not. 902 01:21:11,720 --> 01:21:16,120 -You told her that? -I told her she should think that way. 903 01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:21,560 Some days you're on your period, but every other day, you're not. 904 01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:24,520 Klaus Melbye? 905 01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:26,320 Yes. 906 01:21:26,400 --> 01:21:32,320 I'll bandage it, and you can buy a splint at the chemist. 907 01:21:32,400 --> 01:21:36,400 And it might be a good idea to take some pain killers. 908 01:21:36,520 --> 01:21:42,600 -Like ibuprofen? -Or Voltarol. Do you usually take ibuprofen? 909 01:21:42,680 --> 01:21:45,000 He doesn't take anything. 910 01:21:45,080 --> 01:21:47,600 A girl in my class takes it. She says it works. 911 01:21:47,680 --> 01:21:50,800 -Oh yeah? -For the period pains, you mean? 912 01:21:50,880 --> 01:21:55,520 Yeah. Can you do anything to relieve really bad period pains? 913 01:21:55,600 --> 01:21:58,400 Does your friend have that? 914 01:21:58,520 --> 01:22:00,680 -Really bad. -I see. 915 01:22:00,760 --> 01:22:04,440 If they're really bad, she should see a doctor. 916 01:22:04,520 --> 01:22:09,240 Since it signals fertility, some cultures regard period pains as holy. 917 01:22:09,320 --> 01:22:12,120 They think our fertility makes women goddesses. 918 01:22:13,400 --> 01:22:17,800 So the period and the pain becomes a celebration of that. 919 01:22:17,880 --> 01:22:21,440 The pain is to be endured bravely. 920 01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,560 It will strengthen you as a goddess. 921 01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:28,000 It's quite powerful and optimistic. Can you tell your friend that? 922 01:22:29,080 --> 01:22:32,520 -If your mum heard that ... -Would she disagree? 923 01:22:32,600 --> 01:22:36,160 I don't think she subscribes to the goddess stuff. 924 01:22:36,240 --> 01:22:37,720 She's Christian. 925 01:22:37,800 --> 01:22:40,680 I think it's more that ... 926 01:22:40,760 --> 01:22:44,320 ... her periods are tough, and that she doesn't feel like a goddess. 927 01:22:44,400 --> 01:22:48,400 I don't personally subscribe to the goddess theory myself. 928 01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:52,440 But I can see their point, because giving birth is a special thing. 929 01:22:52,520 --> 01:22:58,080 To have your body become the arena for the drama that is childbirth, 930 01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:00,520 that's indescribable. 931 01:23:00,600 --> 01:23:03,600 The body becomes a battlefield, of sorts. 932 01:23:03,680 --> 01:23:07,440 There are limits, but we want to be conquered. 933 01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:09,680 It's a unique feeling of being nature. 934 01:23:09,760 --> 01:23:14,400 And having sex during the last trimester is ... 935 01:23:14,520 --> 01:23:19,440 That's very special. That your body can accommodate three people. 936 01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:22,720 That is ... Oh, well. 937 01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:25,840 That's what our periods promise. 938 01:23:25,920 --> 01:23:28,680 So I have to say I miss it a little. 939 01:23:29,680 --> 01:23:33,000 Right. You've got children? 940 01:23:33,080 --> 01:23:37,600 A daughter who's a surveyor and a son who wants to be a comedian. 941 01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:42,680 He hasn't got a funny bone in his body, but I've understood that's not a requirement. 942 01:23:42,760 --> 01:23:45,520 But my daughter, she's funny. 943 01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:50,560 She gave me those images on the wall. Do you see what it is? 944 01:23:50,640 --> 01:23:53,560 It's a pair of ducks. 945 01:23:53,640 --> 01:23:57,600 And if you see ducks at the doctor's, they might be quacks. 946 01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:02,040 I'll write you a prescription for Voltarol. 947 01:24:02,120 --> 01:24:04,800 And I'll refer you to get x-rays. 948 01:24:06,160 --> 01:24:09,080 Aren't you going to ask about your back? 949 01:24:09,160 --> 01:24:10,920 No, that's ... 950 01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:15,040 Is there something with your back? I've got time. 951 01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:18,320 I suddenly got this annoying ... 952 01:24:18,400 --> 01:24:21,160 Swap seats, and I'll look at it. 953 01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:24,680 I've had some skin changes. 954 01:24:24,760 --> 01:24:26,640 Let's see here. 955 01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:30,440 I just have to lift this up. 956 01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:33,560 You've got dry skin. 957 01:24:33,640 --> 01:24:38,440 You're shedding the outer skin, and underneath it's all healthy skin. 958 01:24:38,520 --> 01:24:43,640 Nothing red or sore. No signs of eczema or psoriasis. 959 01:24:43,720 --> 01:24:48,400 Isn't it a bit odd? I haven't been out in the sun or anything. 960 01:24:49,360 --> 01:24:55,960 Just use moisturizer and a high SPF cream if you're working outdoors. 961 01:24:56,040 --> 01:24:59,680 And I'd hold off on getting a tattoo for the moment. 962 01:24:59,760 --> 01:25:02,040 That's not an issue. 963 01:25:02,120 --> 01:25:04,960 -I'd like one. -Would you? 964 01:25:05,040 --> 01:25:08,160 -I think that's nonsense. -Why? 965 01:25:08,240 --> 01:25:12,720 People should do what they want, but I think the skin is fine as it is. 966 01:25:12,800 --> 01:25:16,040 People get tattoos because it makes them feel special, 967 01:25:16,120 --> 01:25:20,960 but no matter how special the tattoo is, it covers up something truly unique. 968 01:25:21,040 --> 01:25:26,680 All the marks and irregularities which make our skin completely unique. 969 01:25:26,760 --> 01:25:28,800 I'm not a fan. 970 01:25:28,880 --> 01:25:33,000 We have a teacher who's got a tattoo which says, "I love my family". 971 01:25:33,080 --> 01:25:36,920 Sounds like serious phantom pains disguised as empathy. 972 01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:42,160 I can see her waking up one day feeling like she's tattooed a stranglehold on herself. 973 01:25:42,240 --> 01:25:46,800 Then she'll ask me to remove her family with lasers. 974 01:25:49,200 --> 01:25:56,080 Can I tell you about a patient I had once? Or two patients. It was a couple. 975 01:25:57,360 --> 01:25:59,760 Architects, both of them. 976 01:26:05,520 --> 01:26:07,920 They met and fell in love studying architecture. 977 01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:12,760 After graduating, they bought a flat and moved in together. 978 01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:15,840 I considered their relationship to be rock solid. 979 01:26:15,920 --> 01:26:20,360 They had similar tastes, they dressed and spoke the same way. 980 01:26:20,440 --> 01:26:23,240 They frequently discussed politics 981 01:26:23,320 --> 01:26:28,240 and wanted a society with higher taxes and redistribution of wealth. 982 01:26:28,320 --> 01:26:32,000 Yet they had to admit they felt safer on the right. 983 01:26:33,520 --> 01:26:39,680 Even after several years, they were still in love and never tired of each other. 984 01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:45,760 And like all couples, they liked different things about each other's bodies. 985 01:26:46,400 --> 01:26:50,000 One had a beautiful line going from his shoulder 986 01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:54,240 which never failed to arouse his boyfriend. 987 01:26:55,400 --> 01:26:59,640 There was a mole on the back of his shoulder 988 01:26:59,720 --> 01:27:03,320 which made him weak in the knees. 989 01:27:08,880 --> 01:27:14,280 And for his birthday, what do you get your architect boyfriend who has everything? 990 01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:19,000 Our architect wanted to give him something personal, an act of devotion. 991 01:27:19,080 --> 01:27:23,960 An act expressing his bottomless love for his boyfriend. 992 01:27:24,040 --> 01:27:28,760 And since he knew that his boyfriend was mad about the back of his shoulders, 993 01:27:28,840 --> 01:27:32,160 he went ahead and had it tattooed 994 01:27:32,240 --> 01:27:37,520 with the three words he knew his boyfriend cherished above all others. 995 01:27:43,800 --> 01:27:47,400 The excitement was not as immediate as he had hoped. 996 01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:51,280 The birthday boy was disappointed at first, 997 01:27:51,360 --> 01:27:55,400 as you can be when you get a present you didn't really want. 998 01:27:56,360 --> 01:27:59,880 He tried to smile, even though he felt his boyfriend 999 01:27:59,960 --> 01:28:03,920 had defaced the most beautiful part of his body. 1000 01:28:04,720 --> 01:28:07,120 It felt like a betrayal. 1001 01:28:07,200 --> 01:28:10,880 He also thought the typeface was wrong. 1002 01:28:10,960 --> 01:28:14,120 And since he couldn't tell him how he really felt, 1003 01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:18,760 he said it was a weird choice to go with a Le Corbusier typeface 1004 01:28:18,840 --> 01:28:21,600 for a Frank Lloyd Wright tattoo. 1005 01:28:21,680 --> 01:28:25,120 He heard how cruel it sounded. 1006 01:28:25,200 --> 01:28:29,400 He knew that the worst thing you can tell a newly tattooed architect is 1007 01:28:29,520 --> 01:28:32,680 that he chose the wrong typeface. 1008 01:28:34,040 --> 01:28:36,800 The newly tattooed wept with regret. 1009 01:28:36,880 --> 01:28:41,320 He said he'd been thrown off by the aggressive interior of the tattoo parlour. 1010 01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:45,680 And that the tattoo artist had been much more attractive than he'd expected. 1011 01:28:45,760 --> 01:28:50,880 But whatever the reasons, it was too late for regrets. 1012 01:28:50,960 --> 01:28:53,360 It was irreversible. 1013 01:28:54,360 --> 01:28:56,000 Like an accident. 1014 01:28:58,120 --> 01:29:00,520 Who is Frank Lloyd Wright? 1015 01:29:00,600 --> 01:29:03,320 A famous American architect. 1016 01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:07,840 Did he come to you to get it removed? Did they break up? 1017 01:29:07,920 --> 01:29:12,360 No. Luckily, people aren't that shallow. It takes more than that. 1018 01:29:12,440 --> 01:29:15,520 And they loved each other. 1019 01:29:15,600 --> 01:29:21,880 The man the tattoo was meant to honour, learned to appreciate it. 1020 01:29:21,960 --> 01:29:24,040 He grew to regard it with tenderness. 1021 01:29:25,520 --> 01:29:29,120 The reason they came to see me was something else entirely. 1022 01:29:29,200 --> 01:29:31,080 Unfortunately. 1023 01:29:36,360 --> 01:29:40,000 -I still want a tattoo. -I kind of want one too, now. 1024 01:29:42,360 --> 01:29:45,360 Hi. Are you home? 1025 01:29:45,440 --> 01:29:49,960 -I thought you were meeting Hanne? -I just got home. 1026 01:29:51,040 --> 01:29:56,000 -Where have you been? -I've just been ... 1027 01:29:56,080 --> 01:29:59,200 ... walking around all afternoon. 1028 01:29:59,280 --> 01:30:03,360 -What about the kids? -They're next door. They called. 1029 01:30:05,240 --> 01:30:09,000 -Are you writing? -Yeah, it's ... 1030 01:30:09,080 --> 01:30:11,640 Yeah, I ... 1031 01:30:11,720 --> 01:30:17,040 -Where did you walk? -Just around. Downtown. 1032 01:30:17,120 --> 01:30:20,880 I sat on the pier by City Hall for a bit. 1033 01:30:20,960 --> 01:30:27,200 A bride and groom came and wanted a photo with me. 1034 01:30:27,280 --> 01:30:32,120 You know, it's considered good luck 1035 01:30:32,200 --> 01:30:35,760 to meet a chimney sweep on your wedding day. 1036 01:30:35,840 --> 01:30:39,160 Did you have sex with them too? 1037 01:30:45,320 --> 01:30:48,520 I'm sorry. That was ... 1038 01:30:48,560 --> 01:30:50,080 I'm sorry. 1039 01:30:53,880 --> 01:30:56,240 How was it seeing Hanne? 1040 01:30:56,320 --> 01:30:59,760 It was enlightening. 1041 01:30:59,840 --> 01:31:04,000 -What did she say? -She thinks it's grounds for divorce. 1042 01:31:04,080 --> 01:31:10,600 If Knut had come home and told her that, she'd have kicked him out. 1043 01:31:10,680 --> 01:31:12,600 But you know, that's Hanne. 1044 01:31:17,840 --> 01:31:20,520 You don't think that way? 1045 01:31:20,560 --> 01:31:22,120 No. 1046 01:31:23,160 --> 01:31:27,240 But it felt good talking to someone else. 1047 01:31:27,320 --> 01:31:30,800 I've been so tense. 1048 01:31:30,880 --> 01:31:34,520 My body has tensed up. 1049 01:31:34,600 --> 01:31:39,680 I began crying as soon as I started talking about it. 1050 01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:45,560 But after a while, I could feel how saying it out loud had loosened something. 1051 01:31:45,640 --> 01:31:49,960 By the end, we just sat there laughing, all three of us. 1052 01:31:50,040 --> 01:31:53,640 -It felt nice. -Laughing? 1053 01:31:53,720 --> 01:31:56,560 All three of you? 1054 01:31:56,640 --> 01:32:00,080 Hanne brought a friend, Bjørn. 1055 01:32:02,120 --> 01:32:05,680 So you told him everything too? 1056 01:32:05,760 --> 01:32:08,160 Well, he was there. 1057 01:32:09,120 --> 01:32:14,160 He's a psychologist, so he had his own take on it. 1058 01:32:14,240 --> 01:32:19,920 -Is that so? And what was that? -He mostly just asked questions. 1059 01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:24,520 He said I needed to organise my thoughts 1060 01:32:24,600 --> 01:32:27,680 and claim ownership of the narrative. 1061 01:32:27,760 --> 01:32:31,440 -Ownership of the narrative? -The story, then. 1062 01:32:31,520 --> 01:32:38,920 This isn't a story. It's something that's happened to us, our lives. 1063 01:32:47,760 --> 01:32:50,200 Is that work you're doing? 1064 01:32:50,280 --> 01:32:51,600 Nope. 1065 01:32:52,920 --> 01:32:59,080 Bjørn said it might help if I wrote down what I'm thinking and feeling. 1066 01:33:07,440 --> 01:33:13,520 I guess that's not something you want me to read. 1067 01:33:15,400 --> 01:33:18,000 Would you want me to read it? 1068 01:33:24,240 --> 01:33:25,920 Read away. 1069 01:33:40,200 --> 01:33:44,360 "It's what he does rather than what he says ..." 1070 01:33:44,440 --> 01:33:47,200 It sounds dumb when you read it out loud. 1071 01:33:47,280 --> 01:33:51,760 What do you mean by that? What I do, not what I say? I say lots of things. 1072 01:33:51,840 --> 01:33:55,000 Right now, what you're saying doesn't mean that much. 1073 01:33:55,080 --> 01:33:59,720 It's what you do, your actions, I care about. 1074 01:33:59,800 --> 01:34:02,240 Maybe that's why I was so hurt. 1075 01:34:02,320 --> 01:34:08,200 When you cheated, it was an action that excluded me completely. 1076 01:34:08,280 --> 01:34:14,080 I wasn't part of your world when you gave your body to someone else. 1077 01:34:14,160 --> 01:34:17,960 Did you write that down? That I gave my body to someone else? 1078 01:34:19,120 --> 01:34:22,600 I've written everything. The whole story. 1079 01:34:22,680 --> 01:34:27,520 Everything you told me. Everything that happened at that guy's house. 1080 01:34:32,120 --> 01:34:36,760 The whole story? In your own words? 1081 01:34:38,400 --> 01:34:41,360 Of course it's in my own words. 1082 01:34:44,360 --> 01:34:47,240 Hey. What are you thinking right now? 1083 01:34:54,800 --> 01:34:56,240 I don't know. 1084 01:35:02,520 --> 01:35:06,800 It's like you're making it your story, in a way. 1085 01:35:06,880 --> 01:35:09,680 This happened to me too. 1086 01:37:54,680 --> 01:37:59,560 -What are you guys doing up so early? -Klaus got up at five. 1087 01:38:03,080 --> 01:38:06,400 -How's the hand? -Better. 1088 01:38:08,200 --> 01:38:11,680 I took down that dream catcher. 1089 01:38:11,760 --> 01:38:14,200 Why? Don't you like it? 1090 01:38:15,160 --> 01:38:18,880 Turn it inside out and check. 1091 01:38:18,960 --> 01:38:23,600 What would you think if I told you that I keep dreaming I meet David Bowie, 1092 01:38:23,680 --> 01:38:27,120 and that he looks at me as if I'm a woman? 1093 01:38:30,160 --> 01:38:36,680 How do you interpret that? That it's a suppressed wish? 1094 01:38:36,760 --> 01:38:39,200 It just does something to me. 1095 01:38:39,280 --> 01:38:43,040 -Something bad? -Maybe not. 1096 01:38:43,120 --> 01:38:45,560 -Oh no! -It feels like ... 1097 01:38:45,640 --> 01:38:49,200 It's inside out. You have to undo it. 1098 01:38:50,160 --> 01:38:52,200 That goes on the other side. 1099 01:38:52,280 --> 01:38:59,840 Do you ever feel like life is just about limiting and constricting yourself? 1100 01:39:01,760 --> 01:39:05,800 This sounds a bit like a mid-life crisis. 1101 01:39:05,880 --> 01:39:09,920 Maybe that's it. I'll stop going on about it. 1102 01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:12,520 No, keep talking. 1103 01:39:13,720 --> 01:39:19,320 So he looks at you like you're a woman. Do you feel like you're a woman? 1104 01:39:20,240 --> 01:39:24,160 No, I ... Or, what does that feel like? 1105 01:39:25,520 --> 01:39:27,560 How do I explain that? 1106 01:39:27,640 --> 01:39:30,560 Does it feel like something's wrong with your body? 1107 01:39:30,640 --> 01:39:34,440 Is there a dissonance between how your body feels and how it looks? 1108 01:39:34,520 --> 01:39:37,040 No, I'm ... 1109 01:39:37,120 --> 01:39:40,360 I'm reasonably happy with my body. 1110 01:39:41,560 --> 01:39:45,520 And you don't have an urge to put on women's clothes? 1111 01:39:45,560 --> 01:39:47,840 Not at all. 1112 01:39:47,920 --> 01:39:49,920 It's not about that. 1113 01:39:51,800 --> 01:39:55,880 It feels like it goes deeper than that. It's hard to explain. 1114 01:39:55,960 --> 01:40:00,680 I think it's the fact that he looks at me in a way no one has ever done. 1115 01:40:00,760 --> 01:40:05,440 And it's so powerful that it's still in my body when I wake up. 1116 01:40:05,520 --> 01:40:07,560 It stays with me all day. 1117 01:40:09,800 --> 01:40:12,840 In what way? Is it uncomfortable? 1118 01:40:12,920 --> 01:40:17,720 At first, I thought so, because it was such a new feeling, but ... 1119 01:40:20,280 --> 01:40:22,840 ... now I kind of like it. 1120 01:40:25,000 --> 01:40:30,280 It's like I see things differently because someone looked at me differently. 1121 01:40:32,960 --> 01:40:37,920 Don't tell anyone this, but a mate from work, he ... 1122 01:40:39,080 --> 01:40:42,240 He had sex with another guy. 1123 01:40:42,320 --> 01:40:45,600 -And I think that ... -Was it ...? 1124 01:40:45,680 --> 01:40:48,560 Yes, but don't ask who. 1125 01:40:48,640 --> 01:40:54,200 Don't ask. The point is, he's not actually gay. 1126 01:40:54,280 --> 01:40:59,520 No? I think that's up for debate if he had sex with another man. 1127 01:40:59,560 --> 01:41:03,960 Homosexuality isn't just an identity, it's also an activity. 1128 01:41:04,040 --> 01:41:08,000 One he has participated in if he has, indeed, had sex with another man. 1129 01:41:08,080 --> 01:41:10,680 That's how you see it. 1130 01:41:10,760 --> 01:41:15,240 But we were talking about me, and I ... 1131 01:41:15,320 --> 01:41:19,520 When he told me about this sexual encounter, 1132 01:41:19,560 --> 01:41:23,960 he said that he'd never had anyone look at him the way this guy looked at him. 1133 01:41:24,040 --> 01:41:30,040 It had nothing to do with me, but I could relate to that bit, you know? 1134 01:41:30,120 --> 01:41:31,720 Not really. 1135 01:41:31,800 --> 01:41:35,160 This isn't about sex, with you? 1136 01:41:36,240 --> 01:41:39,040 No, it doesn't. 1137 01:41:39,120 --> 01:41:41,240 It's about ... 1138 01:41:42,840 --> 01:41:46,360 ... expectations. That ... 1139 01:41:46,440 --> 01:41:51,680 You're used to people expecting so much, and then you try to live up to that. 1140 01:41:51,760 --> 01:41:56,560 It felt good to be looked at without those expectations. 1141 01:41:59,640 --> 01:42:01,560 What are you thinking? 1142 01:42:02,520 --> 01:42:04,320 I don't quite understand ... 1143 01:42:04,400 --> 01:42:08,880 So he looks at you as if you were a woman. 1144 01:42:08,960 --> 01:42:12,360 I don't understand what's so liberating about that. 1145 01:42:12,440 --> 01:42:19,880 Being objectified or defined by others is not something I've ever enjoyed. 1146 01:42:21,160 --> 01:42:24,520 Maybe it's not that he's looking at me as if I'm a woman, 1147 01:42:24,600 --> 01:42:29,640 but that he's looking at me as neither woman nor man. 1148 01:42:32,320 --> 01:42:35,320 That he just looks straight to my core. 1149 01:42:36,520 --> 01:42:41,720 It's such a benevolent, open gaze, without reservation. 1150 01:42:41,800 --> 01:42:46,320 There were no expectations. I was free to be whoever I want. 1151 01:42:47,280 --> 01:42:49,000 Whoever that is. 1152 01:42:49,960 --> 01:42:53,440 Sounds more like God than Bowie. 1153 01:42:53,520 --> 01:42:58,200 If we were able to meet each other with the assumption 1154 01:42:58,280 --> 01:43:02,120 that love is the way and the goal. 1155 01:43:02,200 --> 01:43:04,880 If we were able to meet each other in that spirit, 1156 01:43:04,960 --> 01:43:08,000 we would be much freer in our interactions. 1157 01:43:08,080 --> 01:43:13,440 If we approached every situation as an opportunity to do good. 1158 01:43:15,760 --> 01:43:22,680 Like the guy on the radio who said the only thing worth competing in is kindness. 1159 01:43:25,080 --> 01:43:30,720 It's hard to imagine, but it's a scenario in which everyone wins. 1160 01:43:33,520 --> 01:43:38,360 I don't think you should look at these dreams as a problem. 1161 01:43:39,720 --> 01:43:42,920 You could think of it as something nice. 1162 01:43:43,000 --> 01:43:47,760 Think of it as God's way of saying you can contain everything. 1163 01:43:48,880 --> 01:43:51,120 You can rest in that knowledge. 1164 01:43:55,720 --> 01:44:00,280 -What are you making? -Your outfit. 1165 01:44:02,520 --> 01:44:04,920 It's going to look great. 1166 01:45:18,200 --> 01:45:22,880 The fact that she's told others about it and written about it 1167 01:45:22,960 --> 01:45:25,560 makes me really sad. 1168 01:45:25,640 --> 01:45:29,920 Maybe I'm being childish, but it really threw me off-balance. 1169 01:45:30,000 --> 01:45:32,520 It didn't feel like mine anymore. 1170 01:45:32,560 --> 01:45:37,240 I feel like that around eloquent people. 1171 01:45:37,320 --> 01:45:42,920 They're in control of the situation. They have the power, while I'm just ... 1172 01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:46,760 -Maybe it's because I'm dyslexic. -I'm dyslexic as well. 1173 01:45:46,840 --> 01:45:49,440 I still have words ... 1174 01:45:49,520 --> 01:45:51,120 I don't know. 1175 01:45:52,200 --> 01:45:55,520 I have to ask: Are you sure you're not gay? 1176 01:45:55,560 --> 01:46:00,080 You've asked me that already. As has my wife. 1177 01:46:00,160 --> 01:46:03,320 Maybe you don't believe me, 1178 01:46:03,400 --> 01:46:07,600 I think you can have sex with a man without being gay. 1179 01:46:14,840 --> 01:46:22,440 Do you think I was wrong to do it, from a moral standpoint? 1180 01:46:22,520 --> 01:46:25,600 -Because I'm Christian? -Yes. 1181 01:46:25,680 --> 01:46:29,520 I don't think Jesus came to earth in order to ... 1182 01:46:30,880 --> 01:46:35,000 ... protect the nuclear family or interfere with people's love lives. 1183 01:46:35,080 --> 01:46:36,920 On the contrary. 1184 01:46:37,000 --> 01:46:42,600 I'm just really glad you felt comfortable sharing it with me. 1185 01:46:42,680 --> 01:46:45,320 That you trust me even if I'm Christian. 1186 01:46:45,400 --> 01:46:48,520 But that's also why I trust you. 1187 01:46:48,600 --> 01:46:53,560 I often think about when you told me you were Christian. 1188 01:46:54,760 --> 01:46:58,680 It looked like that was difficult for you. 1189 01:46:58,760 --> 01:47:01,040 And I can understand that. 1190 01:47:02,000 --> 01:47:07,640 But that you found the courage to tell me meant an awful lot. 1191 01:47:09,560 --> 01:47:15,080 I thought about that when deciding to tell you this. I wasn't sure. 1192 01:47:16,360 --> 01:47:17,960 But then I thought: 1193 01:47:18,040 --> 01:47:23,000 Admitting you're Christian must be worse than admitting you've slept with a man. 1194 01:47:24,160 --> 01:47:29,400 It meant so much to me that you trusted me enough to tell me. 1195 01:47:30,880 --> 01:47:35,520 But do you think it was wrong of me to do that? 1196 01:47:36,880 --> 01:47:39,880 I'm not sure how to respond. 1197 01:47:39,960 --> 01:47:43,040 You hurt your wife. 1198 01:47:43,120 --> 01:47:45,800 I can't approve of that. 1199 01:47:45,880 --> 01:47:49,640 No, me neither. 1200 01:47:52,720 --> 01:47:56,200 But you wish it wouldn't have hurt her? 1201 01:48:00,560 --> 01:48:04,280 Yeah, I guess that's true. 1202 01:48:09,240 --> 01:48:11,560 I guess I wish that too. 1203 01:48:12,520 --> 01:48:19,080 Because when you told me, it seemed like you'd had a wonderful experience. 1204 01:48:20,040 --> 01:48:24,800 -I don't know how wonderful it was. -Sensational, was the word you used. 1205 01:48:24,880 --> 01:48:27,520 And when you experience something really wonderful, 1206 01:48:27,560 --> 01:48:29,640 you should be able to appreciate it. 1207 01:48:29,720 --> 01:48:34,080 Even if you feel like your wife has diminished it by talking about it, 1208 01:48:34,160 --> 01:48:36,800 you don't have to do the same. 1209 01:48:37,600 --> 01:48:39,800 It was your experience. 1210 01:48:41,520 --> 01:48:44,360 You remember being penetrated. 1211 01:48:46,080 --> 01:48:48,360 You can keep that to yourself. 1212 01:48:49,320 --> 01:48:52,400 Treasure it in your heart, like the Virgin Mary. 1213 01:48:56,640 --> 01:48:59,360 The boys are in the car. Are you ready to go? 1214 01:48:59,440 --> 01:49:02,520 Can I say something before we go? 1215 01:49:02,560 --> 01:49:06,280 Sorry to keep harping on about this. 1216 01:49:06,360 --> 01:49:09,280 If we are going to be completely free ... 1217 01:49:09,360 --> 01:49:12,760 Give each other that freedom ... 1218 01:49:12,840 --> 01:49:20,040 Live without limitations, commitments or obligations ... 1219 01:49:21,680 --> 01:49:24,560 But we're still a couple, like you said. 1220 01:49:24,640 --> 01:49:26,400 Yes ... 1221 01:49:27,880 --> 01:49:30,200 We have love for one another. 1222 01:49:31,160 --> 01:49:35,320 That is an obligation whether we want to or not. 1223 01:49:37,920 --> 01:49:43,800 Love feels so fragile. So transient. 1224 01:49:43,880 --> 01:49:47,200 Yeah ... Is it hard to trust it? 1225 01:49:50,120 --> 01:49:52,760 What if you think of ... 1226 01:49:52,840 --> 01:49:56,000 ... love as a choice? 1227 01:49:57,720 --> 01:50:00,000 That I've chosen you. 1228 01:50:01,720 --> 01:50:03,720 And you've chosen me. 1229 01:50:09,640 --> 01:50:11,560 Yeah ... 1230 01:50:13,000 --> 01:50:14,640 Maybe. 1231 01:51:46,240 --> 01:51:48,760 -Hi! -Hello. 1232 01:51:48,840 --> 01:51:50,360 Wow! 1233 01:51:51,280 --> 01:51:53,280 -It's my outfit. -I see. 1234 01:51:53,360 --> 01:51:56,560 -My son made it. -Really? That's impressive! 1235 01:51:56,640 --> 01:52:00,240 -With a sprained hand, to boot. -It looks professional. 1236 01:52:00,320 --> 01:52:05,560 -Is it just you? -No, my wife and kids are here. 1237 01:52:05,640 --> 01:52:08,400 -Hello. -Hi. 1238 01:52:08,520 --> 01:52:10,000 -You look great. -Thanks. 1239 01:52:10,080 --> 01:52:11,880 -Hi! -Hi. 1240 01:52:12,840 --> 01:52:15,360 Well? Are you ready? 1241 01:52:16,440 --> 01:52:18,440 Well, I ... 1242 01:52:18,520 --> 01:52:22,280 -Are you nervous? -A bit excited, maybe. 1243 01:52:23,120 --> 01:52:24,920 Good luck. 1244 01:52:29,160 --> 01:52:32,400 His son made the outfit. 1245 01:53:35,320 --> 01:53:37,600 For I know 1246 01:53:37,680 --> 01:53:41,800 the plans I have 1247 01:53:41,880 --> 01:53:44,920 for you 1248 01:53:45,000 --> 01:53:48,520 declares the Lord 1249 01:53:51,040 --> 01:53:56,280 Plans for welfare 1250 01:53:58,320 --> 01:54:05,920 And not for evil 1251 01:54:12,240 --> 01:54:19,120 To give you a future and a hope 1252 01:55:58,200 --> 01:56:02,000 For I know the plans 1253 01:56:02,080 --> 01:56:06,520 I have for you 1254 01:56:09,440 --> 01:56:16,080 To give you a future and a hope 1255 01:58:08,000 --> 01:58:10,880 Subtitles by Nortext