1 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,360 So, er, I'm in the airport check-in, 2 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,000 and I look behind me, and there's Santa 3 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,160 with a massive sack of presents. 4 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,040 I said, "Where's all your reindeers?" 5 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:23,000 And he goes, 6 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,800 "Well, you know Rudolph's red nose? 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,640 "Turns out to be COVID. They're all in lockdown." 8 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,400 SPEAKER BUZZES 9 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,640 Where are you two going? Sponsored walk? 10 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,080 Anyway, here's one for you. 11 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,960 You'll love this one. Here. COMEDIAN CHUCKLES 12 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,000 There's this elf, and he's working in a Christmas factory 13 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,720 making presents, right? 14 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,840 But he's thinking about going on strike 15 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,160 because they're short staffed. HE CHUCKLES 16 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,000 AUDIENCE GROANS 17 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,520 MAN CLEARS THROAT 18 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,080 Anyway... 19 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,120 I've been Buddy Elveden... 20 00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,760 SPEAKER BUZZES 21 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,640 ..Master of Mirth. And you've been... 22 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,960 Well, you've been... 23 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,800 a smashing audience. 24 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,120 You're being unreasonable. 25 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,600 You have to pay us. It says it in the contract. 26 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,320 I was promised jokes. 27 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,280 Hey, why you leave them out of your set, huh? 28 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,040 Oh, very good. I'll borrow that one (!) 29 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,320 No laughs, no money. 30 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,040 HE SIGHS 31 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,120 Maybe we could get the magic act going again. 32 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,760 I could ring round some old booking agents. 33 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,160 I'm not going back to England, Karen. 34 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,800 Oh, but things will have died down. 35 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,520 Forget about the magic act. 36 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,880 These fingers ain't as fast as they used to be. 37 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,800 And let's be honest, no-one wants to see you in a leotard. 38 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,320 I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. 39 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,840 But the curtain's coming down on us. 40 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,280 HORN BLARES, CHATTER 41 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,720 WOMAN: Shh! 42 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,960 Listen, guys, Santa's been a little bit held up. 43 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,160 It's a disgrace. 44 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,280 When you fork out for a Christmas cruise, 45 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,800 the one thing you expect is to see Santa. 46 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,440 Hey, how about two front-row seats 47 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,240 for you and your mum to my Christmas show? 48 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,000 I want Santa, not you. Great (!) 49 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,080 CRASHING Jamil! 50 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,000 S-Sorry. 51 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,440 On your way now. The grotto's closed. 52 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,800 Frankie, a little less blunt, perhaps. This is appalling. 53 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,560 We'll fix this, I promise. 54 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,280 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. 55 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,000 It's just... last Christmas wasn't a great one for us. 56 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,680 And I really want Libby to have a good one this year. 57 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,520 Leave this to me, OK? 58 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:01,640 Come on, then, darling. 59 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,720 Let's see what you can find in the kids' area, yeah? 60 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,120 So, where is the bearded one? 61 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,480 He's got shingles. Oh. 62 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,960 Well, there must be someone else who can dress up as Santa. 63 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,360 Hmm. I might be looking at him. JACK CHUCKLES 64 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,880 No, no, no, no. Jack. 65 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,920 I could be your elf. 66 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,560 The Christmas dream team, huh? 67 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,720 Bev, I'm a singer. I can't be ho-ho-hoing all day. 68 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,680 It'll wreck my voice. Thanks for nothing, Jack. 69 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,240 Bev? 70 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,200 Christmas is not over yet, Jamil. 71 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,080 Not on Jack Grayling's watch. 72 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,840 # I'm going on an adventure 73 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,840 # And I got a feeling The sun's gonna shine 74 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,720 # Shine, the sun's gonna shine 75 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,840 # I'm in love with the ocean 76 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,840 # And I got a feeling I'm sailing tonight 77 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,880 # Tonight, I'm sailing tonight 78 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,720 # It's because of you 79 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,840 # That I'll always remember 80 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,840 # I'm going on an adventure 81 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,120 # With you on my mind 82 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,360 # I'm going on an adventure 83 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,840 # With you on my mind. # 84 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,680 # Een Kindekijn is ons geboren 85 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,120 # In Bethlehem 86 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,800 # Een Kindekijn is ons geboren... # SHE CLEARS THROAT 87 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,720 # In Bethlehem. # Piers. 88 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,360 Do you have to do that? 89 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:47,240 It's a traditional Flemish Christmas song, 90 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,440 Een Kindeken Is Ons Geboren. 91 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,600 Right. It's just a bit distracting. 92 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,400 Is that all I am to you now? 93 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,880 A distraction? 94 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,960 Miss Woods, Mr de Vreese, shall we? 95 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,840 Captain Marlowe? Ship inspection. 96 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,520 We usually liaise with the other department. 97 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,720 New captain, new rules. 98 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,040 Number one, keep the crew on their toes. 99 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,200 Jameson may have been a bit lax on discipline, 100 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,360 but I won't have standards slipping on my watch. 101 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,640 I'm all for maintaining high standards, Captain. Very good. 102 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,440 BEVERLEY: 'Good morning to all passengers.' 103 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,240 Are these spot checks going to be a regular thing, Captain? 104 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,160 Well, it's in every good captain's playbook. 105 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,160 Don't you agree, Mr de Vreese? 106 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,640 Forward with the goat, sir. 107 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,040 Well, quite. 108 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,720 When was this last tested? 109 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,480 We'd have to ask Maintenance, sir. 110 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,840 Not the answer I wanted to hear, Miss Woods. 111 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,160 Bring back Jameson. 112 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,240 Alas, it seems we can never go back, 113 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,360 no matter how much we may want to. 114 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,880 Oh, please. 115 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:03,560 Ah, Mr Grayling, the man with the perfect pipes. 116 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,600 You should be my agent, Captain Marlowe. 117 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,920 Do you know what? I might visit the theatre tonight, 118 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,080 mingle with the buffet and bingo mob. 119 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,440 You can't beat the shine of some top brass. 120 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,600 I'm sure you'll dazzle them. Well, as you were. 121 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,640 Inspection duty. 122 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,200 Piers... 123 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,800 ..Bev is in desperate need of a Santa, 124 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:27,240 and I was wondering if any of your crew fancy dressing up. 125 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,320 May I remind you that we are officers? 126 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:35,880 We do not demean ourselves by dressing up in silly costumes. 127 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,440 BEVERLEY: 'We'd like to welcome all guests 128 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,400 'to decidedly delightful Dubrovnik, 129 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,200 'often called the Pearl of the Adriatic. 130 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,800 'I guarantee you're about to find out exactly why. 131 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,760 'And if you love Santas and elves, 132 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,600 'I thoroughly recommend the Christmas parade 133 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,520 'taking place this afternoon.' 134 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:04,000 Elves? Mum, can we go? Please? 135 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,760 'I also highly recommend the Convent of Saint Claire, 136 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,600 'where you'll be able to find any last-minute Christmas gifts 137 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,840 'at their wonderful market.' 138 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,840 I've had enough, Karen. 139 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,800 Buddy, one bad night doesn't mean it's the end of your career. 140 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,560 Well, apparently, I've had 50 bad nights. 141 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,680 Look, I just need a minute, all right? 142 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,000 I'll have a coffee and a rakia chaser. 143 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,800 Actually, hold the coffee. 144 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,640 Nah. Ah! 145 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,640 To share. 146 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,840 Well... this is nice. 147 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,120 Me and you finally get to spend some time together. 148 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,880 You can blame the new captain. 149 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,040 He's got a to-do list longer than Piers' face. Poor fella. 150 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,280 How's he holding up? Well, what do you think? 151 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,680 He was supposed to be walking down the aisle this time next month. 152 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,880 What if he got off lightly? 153 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,440 Ha-ha (!) JACK CHUCKLES 154 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,280 Right, come on. We need to find a Santa. 155 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,400 How are you gonna find the right one? 156 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,400 Through the power of Christmas. 157 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:24,080 Did I hear somebody say they were looking for Santa? 158 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,920 Buddy Elveden. 30 years wowing audiences the world over. 159 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,680 Am I not round enough, 160 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,720 rosy cheeked enough, barrel chested enough 161 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:42,360 to give a magnificent ho-ho-ho? 162 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,600 See? You've just got to believe. 163 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,800 THEY LAUGH 164 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:49,920 I've just got on board, 165 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,840 and you have already lost my luggage. 166 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,360 Your luggage will be somewhere in the system, sir. 167 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,080 In the meantime, please accept this courtesy pack. 168 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,960 Everything you need, 169 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,760 from shaving foam to... 170 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,120 underpants. 171 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,240 I'm not wearing this. 172 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,960 They are very comfortable. 173 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,200 Though there are shops on board and in Dubrovnik. 174 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,040 S... Sorry. 175 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:20,840 DOOR CLOSES 176 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,440 Well, someone's got a bob on. Frankie. 177 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,360 Where did you come from? 178 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,120 It's ninja mentality. 179 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,000 For a lush wench, I can be light on my feet. 180 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,520 It's all part of the training. 181 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,920 Well, I'd better find his luggage 182 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,560 before he makes an official complaint. 183 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,280 You need to find Beverly first. She's been looking for you. 184 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:38,840 HE SIGHS 185 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,400 You want me to be an elf? 186 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,280 Mm. What do you say? 187 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,760 I say lead me to the workshop. 188 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,120 THEY LAUGH Bev? 189 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,280 JACK CLEARS THROAT 190 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:55,000 Beverley, meet Santa. Santa, meet Beverley. 191 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,840 Jack. How did you manage that? 192 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:01,240 You've just got to believe. It's a regular Christmas miracle. 193 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,640 Oh, I'll need Frankie to run background checks. Sorry. 194 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,520 It's all right. I've already asked her. 195 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,120 You and me should be running this ship. 196 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,720 One day, Bev. One day. 197 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,920 Right. I need you in costume ASAP. 198 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,920 And Jamil, the same for you. And Jack? 199 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,640 Yes? I could kiss you. 200 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,240 THEY LAUGH 201 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,080 This way, Santa. 202 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,120 So, I said to Rudolph, 203 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,640 "We don't need your red nose any more 204 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,520 "because I've got Santa-nav." 205 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,720 KIDS LAUGH Ho-ho-ho-ho! 206 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,920 Well, er, what do you think? Which bin did you get that from? 207 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,880 It was the only one I could find. Look, there's a hole here. 208 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,760 It looks like rain, dear. Reindeer! Ho-ho-ho! 209 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,960 PHONE RINGS 210 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000 Oh, speaking of which, this is probably Rudolph, 211 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,360 wanting to trade some air miles for some more hay. 212 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,440 Or maybe not. 213 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,160 MAN: All right? Merry Christmas. 214 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,200 What? Yeah, yeah. Merry Christmas. 215 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,960 Shouldn't you be in your grotto? 216 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,680 Oh, yeah. Just got to sort a couple of things before we set out. 217 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,040 Look, Bev won't be happy. 218 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,160 20 minutes, tops. Half hour, worst-ways. 219 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,440 Ah-ah. 220 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,080 Oh, last-minute Christmas shopping? 221 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,680 Oh, yeah. You know what kids are like. 222 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,960 They only tell you what they actually want for Christmas 223 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,560 at the last possible minute. 224 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,160 Oh. I'm sorry. 225 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,800 I'm really sorry. 226 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,440 BUDDY GRUNTS 227 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,360 FOOTSTEPS RECEDING 228 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,920 Nice of you to bring me an early Christmas present, Jack. 229 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,920 Oh, you two know each other? 230 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,480 Yeah, Nika and I collaborated on a missing teen 231 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,120 who fled to Dubrovnik back in the day. 232 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,600 Oh, wow. Cop in every port. 233 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,040 I'm presuming you know this unfortunate man. 234 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:41,000 His name is Buddy Elveden. He came on board to play Santa. 235 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,640 Seemed like a really nice guy. 236 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:46,040 Nice enough for someone to stab him with a Christmas tree. 237 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,920 You don't think this was an accident? 238 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,480 As I'm sure Jack will tell you, 239 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,040 nothing's an accident until proven otherwise. 240 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,400 One of the Ten Commandments in criminal investigation. 241 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,240 So, why was he here and not in his grotto? 242 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,720 Hold that thought. 243 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,960 It must be Buddy's. 244 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,520 The last call he received was barely an hour ago. 245 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,440 To whom am I speaking, please? 246 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,600 Buddy's dead? 247 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,840 You've got the wrong person, surely. 248 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,680 How do you know Mr Elveden? 249 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,480 We've been together years. 250 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,600 Well... not together, together. 251 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,080 Nothing like that. Erm... 252 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,560 I started off as his assistant. 253 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,040 But he did magic while I did the glamour. 254 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,680 And then when he branched out... 255 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,040 into comedy, I took much more of a back seat. 256 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,080 I became his PA, and then... 257 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:17,680 then his chauffeur, after he had his car accident last Christmas. 258 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,520 Why did you phone him? 259 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,840 I was back at the hotel. I... 260 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:29,000 I was wondering where he'd got to. 261 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,760 I was worried about him. 262 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,800 He was a bit upset after last night. 263 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,800 Upset? Why? 264 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:42,240 Erm, his set at Luka's comedy club 265 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,280 had gone terribly, and... 266 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,240 ..Luka was furious with him. 267 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,680 It was awful. 268 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,720 Luka's. 269 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,480 That's where he was found. 270 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,120 In the alley, round the back. 271 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,720 Apologies. 272 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,280 I'm going to need you to give me a statement down at the station, 273 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,920 Miss McCallister. 274 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,520 Of course. 275 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,000 What... What am I gonna do now? 276 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,440 I'm... 277 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,240 I'm nobody without Buddy. 278 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,080 We spent every Christmas together. 279 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,920 We were gonna go to a fancy restaurant, 280 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,960 get the best food, the best drinks. 281 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,720 Make it as magical as we could. 282 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,400 What if after you've spoken to the police, 283 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,600 you grab your things and join the cruise? 284 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,040 Jack. Friends-and-family deal. 285 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,080 That can be sorted, right? 286 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,160 Well, look, I've gotta get back to the ship, but... 287 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,800 I'll see what I can do, OK? 288 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,720 Word is, you were furious with Buddy. 289 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,560 And the obvious question is, what did he do to upset you so much? 290 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,640 He went up on that stage and told terrible jokes. 291 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,760 Most of the audience left halfway through his set. 292 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,440 Was he really that bad? 293 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,840 One man was crying, and not of laughter. 294 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,840 I saw him confront Buddy afterwards. 295 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,560 What did this guy look like? 296 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,560 Bald, glasses, tearful. 297 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,600 Though he was shouting by then. 298 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,480 Any chance I could take a look at that CCTV from last night, 299 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,600 specifically the camera in the alleyway? 300 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,520 Look, I'm a busy man, huh? 301 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,520 How about I sing for free 302 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,680 the next time that we dock in Dubrovnik? 303 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,360 And I guarantee you, no-one will leave. 304 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,200 You're really that good? 305 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,640 I am. Trust me. 306 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,280 Excuse me. Backstage is for staff performers only. 307 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,000 My daughter. My daughter's gone missing. 308 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,720 I can't find her anywhere. Can you help me? 309 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,520 All right. Don't worry, love. Not lost anyone on my watch. 310 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,880 Right, I'll need a full description. 311 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,480 Height, build, and any distinctive or unusual blemishes, 312 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,000 such as a birthmark and/or a tattoo. 313 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,400 OK. Right. 314 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,920 Come on. Let's check your room first. 315 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,920 Ooh. KATE SUCKS TEETH 316 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,000 I can't see who pushed him. 317 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,240 Just rewind it. Maybe we've missed something. 318 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,520 OK. Whoa. 319 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,400 I said backwards, not forwards. 320 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,440 What is that? 321 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,880 Well, that dream's over. 322 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,120 What dream? Of joining the elves' team. 323 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,080 One minute, I'm an elf, living the life. 324 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,360 And next... 325 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,640 Santa's dead. 326 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,160 What? 327 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,120 Why are you staring at me? 328 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,200 It's the same colour as your hat, Jamil. 329 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:18,840 Which means... 330 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,160 An elf... Killed... 331 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,400 ..Santa. Er, you can't say things like that. 332 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,720 I think Buddy's killer dressed up as one 333 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,440 to blend in with the Christmas market. 334 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,800 I think our killer's hat is missing a bell. 335 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,800 She was in here all along, Mrs McClane. 336 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,120 Thank you so much. 337 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,160 I'll leave you to it. Thank you. 338 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,440 I was so worried about you. Are you OK? 339 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,960 Oh, my love. Come here. 340 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,640 HE TRILLS A MELODY 341 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,080 All right, Jack? 342 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,200 No. Don't worry. 343 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,920 I'm not gonna ask you to play Santa. 344 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,880 You've got someone, then? SHE SIGHS 345 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,200 I'm not sure if I even care right now. 346 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,640 Oh, Bev. 347 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,840 This isn't like you. I know. 348 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,080 You OK? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine. It's just... 349 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,640 It's just, some mornings, I wish I didn't have to paint the smile on. 350 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,680 Do you know what I mean, Jack? 351 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,800 It's exhausting... 352 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:26,120 pretending everything's rosy in Beverly Carnell's world. 353 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,120 I always thought it was. Yeah, well, that's the problem. 354 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,880 Everyone thinks that. 355 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,240 What I wouldn't give... 356 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,520 to have some hunky fella's shoulder to cry into. 357 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,160 Give it the full-on sob. 358 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,080 Soak his shirt right through. Sounds like someone needs a break. 359 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,680 No, no. 360 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,680 No, I'm married to the ship, me, Jack. 361 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,000 Hey-ho. 362 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,800 I'd better go and find a Santa before there's a mutiny. 363 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,640 KNOCKING ON DOOR 364 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,560 Mr Belay, I have some good news. 365 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,040 I have your luggage. 366 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,880 KNOCKING ON DOOR Mr Belay. 367 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:20,840 Mr Belay, er, your case has been damaged in transit. 368 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,040 Obviously, we will reimburse it for you. 369 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,880 SOFTLY: Right. 370 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,480 Jamil. 371 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,760 What the...? 372 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,880 Buddy... Buddy's dead? 373 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,160 MR BELAY LAUGHS 374 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,720 Christmas has come a day early. 375 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,560 Excuse me? 376 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,520 He stole my wife, destroyed my marriage. 377 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,000 This is the best present I have ever had. 378 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,480 MR BELAY LAUGHS 379 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,320 Mr Belay, what did you and Buddy argue about? 380 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,680 We were so happy until you appeared. 381 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,560 She hasn't been happy for a very long time. 382 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,160 That's why she threw you out! 383 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,360 Why would she want you? You're nothing. 384 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,200 A failure! 385 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,320 I make her laugh. 386 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:05,040 And you, my friend, make her cry. 387 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,040 She's my wife! What's going on here? 388 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,880 Luka got in the way of you taking things further with Buddy. 389 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,520 And I bet you couldn't believe your eyes 390 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,760 when he came on the very ship that you'd booked your cruise on. 391 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,240 No. 392 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,960 You watched him disembark and then followed him. 393 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,400 I never left the ship. 394 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,920 I can always check the embarkation log, right? Yeah. 395 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,240 If you must know... 396 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,080 I was out buying a new underwear. 397 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,280 Actually, I can vouch for that. 398 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,760 Mr Belay wasn't a fan of the paper pants. 399 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,800 My guess is you followed him. 400 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,000 All right. 401 00:22:56,040 --> 00:23:00,280 I admit it, I did. But I lost him in the crowd of Santas. 402 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,440 And that's the honest truth. 403 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:03,760 Now, if you don't mind... 404 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,920 ..I need some time on my own... 405 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,800 ..to work out how to tell all this to my wife. 406 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,160 Now that Buddy's dead, she's going to need me. 407 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,200 I'll have a word with Juan. 408 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,760 He's getting far too cocky with his sword act. 409 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,240 What's this doing here? 410 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,200 Have a good evening. Oh, thanks. 411 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,600 You, too. Bye. See you later. 412 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,240 You left this on the bridge. 413 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,200 Are you joining another cruise ship? 414 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,160 I haven't said yes yet. 415 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,800 But it's a very nice offer. 416 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,040 And the fjords are particularly stunning. 417 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,600 This ship wouldn't be the same without you. 418 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,840 You make it sound like you'd miss me. 419 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,480 Well, of course, I would. 420 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,200 Knock me for six, to be honest. 421 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,160 Then give me a reason to stay, Kate. 422 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,960 You know that's not what I meant, Piers. 423 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,320 Can't blame a man for trying. 424 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,080 HE SIGHS 425 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,960 You came aboard after all. Oh, only just. 426 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,920 I went to give my statement, 427 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,640 and then I ended up answering question after question. 428 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,320 Nika's borderline obsessive. 429 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,160 Well, Buddy needs justice. 430 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,440 Which brings me to the row Buddy had in the comedy club. 431 00:24:58,480 --> 00:24:59,920 What row? 432 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:02,840 With a man called Giorgio Belay after the show. 433 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,040 Giorgio was there? 434 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,720 You know him? Well, of course I do. 435 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,320 He was the bane of Buddy's life. 436 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:10,960 How come you didn't hear them arguing? 437 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:15,720 Well, I was out back in the alley. It wasn't a good night. 438 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,080 I needed some space to think and plan. 439 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,200 But he never said a word about him and Giorgio. 440 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,320 Did he ever threaten Buddy? 441 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,440 It's more a question of, when didn't he threaten him? 442 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,800 Giorgio sent some awful texts. 443 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,440 I made Buddy delete them, 444 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,560 they were so horrible. 445 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,600 Kate? Wait up. 446 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,840 It seems Giorgio sent a ton of threats to Buddy. 447 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,720 It sounds like we need to ask him some more questions. Yeah. 448 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,400 This is turning into a Christmas to remember. 449 00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:01,120 Murder and mince pies. Only you, Jack Grayling. 450 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,400 HE CHUCKLES 451 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:03,680 Ah! Wow. 452 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,400 I thought you were back at the day job. 453 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,280 Oh, it's the magic of Christmas. 454 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,280 Beverley found me a better costume. 455 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,720 Jack. What? 456 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,040 Hey! 457 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,520 The bell's missing. 458 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,640 Jamil, where did Beverley get this costume from? 459 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,440 The costume store. Where else? 460 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,720 Which means... 461 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,000 Someone took the costume, went ashore, 462 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,520 killed Buddy and then put it back. 463 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,600 So the killer is on this ship? 464 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:37,600 We're looking for anyone who got off the ship after Buddy. 465 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,240 Within a few minutes of. 466 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,200 Frankie? Joni McClane. 467 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,880 Left to do some last-minute shopping. 468 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,360 Blimey. Where did you pull that from? 469 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,640 Oh, it's photographic memory. I was trained by the best. 470 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,920 Mrs McClane left just after Buddy did. 471 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,320 With her daughter? No, she left Libby on board. 472 00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:00,920 I know, because I had to launch a mini manhunt 473 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,400 after Mrs McClane got back. 474 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,280 Found her wandering around backstage looking for her daughter. 475 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,440 Backstage? Yeah, she was in amongst the costumes. 476 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,880 Thanks. Before you scarper... 477 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,200 I finally got Buddy's background check through. 478 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:15,960 Turns out he was involved in a car crash. 479 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,120 Thanks, but we know that. 480 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,120 Yeah, but did you know that he knocked down 481 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:20,400 and killed someone, though? 482 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,480 Or that he walked away scot-free after it was deemed an accident? 483 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,840 SIRENS BLARE 484 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,080 Jack, you better be calling with a clue. 485 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,800 I'm facing a dead end here. 486 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,640 'I need you to run a check for me.' 487 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,800 Buddy Elveden killed someone in a car crash 488 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,880 in England last Christmas. 489 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,640 In England? 490 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,360 Give me a minute. I have a contact over there. 491 00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:59,360 Do you just want me to find Karen? She's bound to know. 492 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,040 Nika's quicker. Trust me. 493 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,400 PHONE RINGS 494 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,400 Nika? 'I have the name of the man Buddy killed.' 495 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,320 It's McClane. William McClane. 496 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:12,480 'Thank you, Nika.' 497 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,200 I think we've just found our killer, Jack. 498 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,480 Now, I want you to close your eyes 499 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:28,000 and listen as hard as you can for Santa Claus. 500 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,040 Merry Christmas, darling. 501 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,640 BEVERLEY: 'Good morning, all. 502 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,920 'I'd like to wish everyone, passengers and crew alike, 503 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,440 'a very merry Christmas from everyone on board. 504 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,400 'I hope Santa was good to you, 505 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,040 'but if you fancy a little more Santa goodness, 506 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,920 'then you can catch him later 507 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,800 'when he arrives with his sack of goodies.' 508 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,200 Merry Christmas, darling. 509 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,760 Unfortunately... 510 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,560 I have some not very good news. 511 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,680 It's about Buddy. 512 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,320 KNOCK AT DOOR 513 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,400 Enter. 514 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,520 Mr de Vreese. Merry Christmas. 515 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,720 Vrolijk Kerstfeest to you, too, sir. 516 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,200 Are you ready? 517 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,560 Do we really have to do this on Christmas Day? 518 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,880 Well, Joni can't get away with murder, 519 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,600 no matter what day it is. 520 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,000 Last year, Libby lost her dad, 521 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,240 and this year, her mum's gonna get locked up. 522 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,440 Jack. 523 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:07,240 Kate, I've already missed three Christmases with my daughter. 524 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,720 I know how it feels. 525 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:15,160 Look, I know that you want things to be different, but... 526 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,840 Buddy's never gonna see another Christmas, ever. 527 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,080 So at some point, we need to make this right. 528 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,600 All right, tootsies and trotters, 529 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,680 behind the line, if you don't mind. 530 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:40,400 Oh, boys and girls, I've got news that Santa's on his way. 531 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,040 KIDS CHEER 532 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,080 He's nearly here. 533 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:49,280 KIDS CHEER And... he's just landed! 534 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,400 KIDS CHEER 535 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,880 So, boys and girls, mums and dads, 536 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,880 are you gonna join me for a big Christmas countdown? 537 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:58,600 ALL: Yeah! 538 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,480 Oh, come on, you can do better than that! 539 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,440 You gonna join me for a big Christmas countdown? 540 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,720 ALL: Yeah! 541 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,440 Here we go. Ten... 542 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,760 ALL: Nine, eight, seven, six, 543 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,280 five, four, three, 544 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,520 two, one. 545 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,880 Hooray! THEY CHEER 546 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,080 Come on, Santa. 547 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,280 Ho-ho-ho! BEVERLEY LAUGHS 548 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,880 Come on, hurry up, Santa. Thank you very much. 549 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,760 What's your name? One at a time, one at a time. 550 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,000 Go on, babe. SANTA CHUCKLES 551 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,280 Erm, is that... Yeah, it's Captain Marlowe. 552 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:40,400 I promised him an eggnog later. HE CHUCKLES 553 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,040 Morning. Morning. 554 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,040 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. 555 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:50,560 Hi. 556 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,440 Er... Merry Christmas. 557 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,200 And to you, too, Kate. 558 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,000 Listen, Piers, I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh on you yesterday. 559 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,360 It had to be said. 560 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:04,600 And you said it. 561 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,600 No complaints from me. 562 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:12,240 Good. I mean, we're both sailors, aren't we? 563 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,840 I'm sure we can... navigate our way through this. 564 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,400 It might be a little late for that. 565 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,720 Are you leaving the ship? 566 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:37,560 I loved you so much, Kate. 567 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,560 Jack. Yep? 568 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,400 You're never gonna guess what Santa brought me this year. 569 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,960 A hunky fella? Oh, I wish. 570 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,400 A residency, Jack, at the Lancia Club in Barbados. 571 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,680 The Lancia. Are you kidding? I know. Someone dropped out, and... 572 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,640 and somehow or another, I got highly recommended to the manager. 573 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,440 What were you saying about Christmas being a downer? 574 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,720 When did he want you? Oh, it's the end of this cruise. 575 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,440 I mean, obviously, it's not forever. Just a sabbatical. 576 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:16,960 Head officer give me their blessing 577 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,480 and said they'll arrange a short-term replacement. 578 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:23,680 I don't know what to say, Bev, other than... 579 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:24,840 you deserve it. 580 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,320 Oh, thank you. 581 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,800 Kate? I know who did it. 582 00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:59,320 MARLOWE: Enjoy the food. 583 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,400 Oh, ladies. 584 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,920 I couldn't believe Jack invited me as a guest. 585 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,840 He's such a kind and generous man. Yeah. 586 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,040 Are you sure I should be at the Captain's table? 587 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:17,720 Of course you should, Jamil. You're an incredible elf. 588 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,520 One of the finest I've ever seen. Please. 589 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,480 Thank you. 590 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,680 And I don't dole out praise lightly. 591 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,480 Oh, lovely. 592 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,440 We got our Christmas after all. 593 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,760 I know what happened, Joni. 594 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,320 Libby, why don't you 595 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,840 go and choose yourself a pudding out of the cabinet, OK? 596 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,960 You went after Buddy and caught up with him in the alleyway. 597 00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,200 When I saw him on the ship, it all came flooding back. 598 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:02,320 So you grabbed yourself a disguise? 599 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,680 How did you know that? 600 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:06,240 Your elf costume was caught on CCTV. 601 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,280 One of the bells fell off. 602 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,400 I found him on the ground. He was already dead, I swear. 603 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,920 I believe you. You were angry, Joni. 604 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,200 But I doubt you would have done anything. 605 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,280 Not when you've got Libby to look after. 606 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,080 So what happens to me now? 607 00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,240 What do you think happens? 608 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,080 You order Christmas pudding and have the Christmas you both deserve. 609 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,440 Really? 610 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,240 Watch out for the six pence in a pudding. 611 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,000 Mum. 612 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,360 Have you heard Mr de Vreese is leaving us? 613 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,920 I did, yeah. It's a sad day for the ship. 614 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,440 That depends... 615 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:59,040 ..on who's left and what they're capable of. 616 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,360 Ambition is not a dirty word, Miss Woods. 617 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,920 In fact, it's a word that I openly encourage. 618 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,920 I mean, look where it got me. 619 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,200 HE CHUCKLES 620 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,080 Could I have a quick word before dinner? 621 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,240 Oh, of course. 622 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,080 Erm... Champagne for Mr Grayling, please. 623 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:18,560 Thank you. 624 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,520 Merry Christmas. Oh. 625 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,280 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. 626 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,800 Before I sit down, I need to do some housekeeping. 627 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,360 Only, I know what happened to Buddy, 628 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,120 why it happened, but most importantly, 629 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:34,920 who killed him. 630 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,800 The biggest clue was in front of my face this whole time... 631 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:45,080 ..wasn't it, Karen? I'm not sure I follow. 632 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:48,840 Let's go back a few nights. 633 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,920 You told us that you didn't hear Giorgio and Buddy arguing 634 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,760 because you were outside. 635 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,480 I was outside the back door. 636 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:00,640 But you couldn't have been. 637 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,280 The Christmas decorations, 638 00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,440 including a wrought-iron Christmas tree, 639 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,400 were stacked up against the back door. 640 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,360 I called the club owner. He told me they'd been there for days. 641 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,320 So there's no way you could have opened it. 642 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,800 Wait. I wasn't in the alley. 643 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,400 I was, erm, in Buddy's dressing room. 644 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,120 If you were, then you would have heard Giorgio and Buddy arguing. 645 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,800 So which one was it, Karen? 646 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,160 The only reason you said you hadn't heard them 647 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,600 was because it gave you a clear motive. 648 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,360 You see, all of this 649 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:35,960 has always been about people missing people at Christmas. 650 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,680 Giorgio and his wife, 651 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:41,160 Joni McClane and her husband. 652 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,000 You and Buddy. 653 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,120 He didn't want to tour with you no more. 654 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,160 He wanted to set up home with Giorgio's wife. 655 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,600 For him, the magic had gone. He wanted out. 656 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,840 It's not true, none of it. 657 00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,080 He took that Santa job to escape telling you. 658 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,680 I mean, what a way to end 30 years of working together. 659 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,720 But you rang him. 660 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:11,360 I just wanted to see where he'd gotten to. He... He texted. 661 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,320 He'd said he'd had enough, but he'd always done that. 662 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:19,400 And I said the least we could do is talk about it. That's all. 663 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:23,200 He met you to say goodbye, didn't he, Karen? 664 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,200 Oh, I'm sorry. 665 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,200 I'm really sorry. KAREN SHOUTS 666 00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:32,400 BUDDY GRUNTS 667 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:39,280 It was an accident. 668 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,080 I'd never hurt Buddy on purpose, ever. 669 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,040 I still don't know where the strength came from 670 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,560 to push him that hard. 671 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:50,040 It came from 30 years on the road, Karen, 672 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,440 only to end up being abandoned, 673 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,840 facing Christmas alone for the first time in decades. 674 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,680 I get it. I do. 675 00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,280 Nobody wants that. 676 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:08,360 Afraid you'll have to accompany me to your cabin, Miss McCallister. 677 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,840 I'll have to lock you in until we reach port, 678 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,920 where you'll be handed over to the local police. 679 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,200 Please don't let this ruin your Christmas. 680 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:23,880 I'd... I'd really hate that to happen. 681 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,120 You did the right thing. 682 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,400 The logs are on the fire, the chestnuts are roasting, 683 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:42,680 and we all believe in the magic of Santa for another year. 684 00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:46,240 Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a spectacular night 685 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,120 in store for you tonight 686 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,960 with a once-in-a-generation talent. 687 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,960 Jack Grayling, 688 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,320 will you please bring Christmas home? 689 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 690 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,480 Thank you. Thank you. 691 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,400 This first song I'm dedicating to a very special person. 692 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:07,440 I'll miss you. 693 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:09,120 AUDIENCE: Aw. 694 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,000 # Ay-ay 695 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:21,760 # Feels like fire 696 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,720 # I'm so in love with you 697 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:30,400 # Dreams are like angels 698 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,840 # They keep bad at bay 699 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,560 # Bad at bay 700 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,240 # Love is the light 701 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:41,200 # Scaring darkness away 702 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,680 # I'm so in love with you 703 00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:49,360 # Purge the soul 704 00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:55,160 # Make love your goal 705 00:40:57,720 --> 00:41:01,560 # The power of love 706 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:05,280 # A force from above 707 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,200 # Cleaning my soul 708 00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,920 # Flame on, burn desire 709 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,520 # Love with tongues of fire 710 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,720 # Purge the soul 711 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:27,560 # Make love your goal... # 712 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,240 I know that you arranged Beverley's sabbatical. 713 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,960 Me? 714 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,240 No. What makes you think that? 715 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,560 I mean, we've been looking for Santa everywhere, 716 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,320 and he's been right here this whole time. 717 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,800 Which got me thinking, 718 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,720 somebody ought to buy you a present. 719 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,880 You got me something? As if I wouldn't. 720 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,840 SHE CHUCKLES Thank you. 721 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,520 Merry Christmas, Mr Grayling. 722 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,120 Merry Christmas, Miss Woods. 723 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,600 # This time, we go sublime 724 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,360 # Lovers entwine, divine, divine 725 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,920 # Love is danger Love is pleasure 726 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:40,200 # Love is pure, the only treasure 727 00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:45,160 # I'm so in love with you 728 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,520 # Purge the soul 729 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:54,200 # Make love your goal 730 00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,920 # The power of love 731 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:03,640 # A force from above 732 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,320 # Cleaning my soul 733 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:14,200 # Flame on, burn desire 734 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:17,800 # Love with tongues of fire 735 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,280 # Purge the soul 736 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:26,320 # Make love your goal... # 737 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:31,600 JACK VOCALISES 738 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:35,120 # Make love 739 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:38,520 # Your 740 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:42,600 # Goal. # 741 00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:46,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 742 00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:58,680 WOMAN: I need your help. 743 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,880 My father is not a murderer. 744 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,320 KATE: This is about getting Jack off the ship. 745 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:06,840 He's a liability, Kate. 746 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,520 Jack Grayling. 747 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:12,000 MAN: The singer who likes to do the police job for them. 748 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,640 Another beautiful day in paradise. 749 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:22,840 MAN: We can live the dream together. 750 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,120 WOMAN: How dare you? KATE GASPS 751 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:30,400 MAN: I mean, even a disgraced cop still has his uses. 752 00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,040 The first rule of navigation, 753 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,000 never take your eyes off the controls. 754 00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:35,640 There is no "us", Jack. 755 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,120 I'd just like to know where I stand, Kate.