1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,068 So then I thought, "why should I write a freakin' essay 2 00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,471 When y'all can just go straight to my channel, zanepranks, 3 00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:09,207 And watch me pull some of the sickest pranks on the internet?" 4 00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:10,943 That a good enough "passion" for you? 5 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,411 [ cheers and applause ] 6 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:13,746 Yes! Yes! 7 00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:16,949 My man zane knows how to throw a wrench in the system. 8 00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:18,817 You've got a fan up here, zane. 9 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,285 Don't forget it, brah. 10 00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:22,821 Alrighty, next up we have... 11 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,556 Ugh! 12 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,091 ...Matt hornsby. 13 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,093 Uh... 14 00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:31,830 "my passion, by matt hornsby." 15 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,232 [ sighs ] 16 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,234 "every day after school, I run home 17 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,703 To play my favorite computer game, craftopia. 18 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:43,308 I've been playing for a year now with my friend donutfart69. 19 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,644 Donut's server can support up to 50 players. 20 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,380 It's just the two of us right now, but that's okay. 21 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,850 Together, we built the entire world from the ground up. 22 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:57,189 It has a big farm with cows, pigs, sheeps, and goats. 23 00:00:57,191 --> 00:01:00,458 The harvest keeps our villagers nice and fed. 24 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,594 They live in a big town that we built for them. 25 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,664 At first, they kept getting eaten by forest ogres." 26 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,800 [ munch! Munch! Munch! Munch! Munch! Munch! Munch! ] 27 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,468 "but ever since we built the city wall, 28 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:12,270 They've become a thriving community. 29 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,006 We've still got a lot of work to do. 30 00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:15,808 We're building a new super castle, 31 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:18,943 Where we can both live and watch over our empire. 32 00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:20,412 It's a lot of work. 33 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:23,148 But it's nice to have something to look forward to." 34 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,550 [ sighs ] 35 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,620 [ laughter ] 36 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,823 Craftopia? I haven't played that game 37 00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:31,890 Since I was [bleep] 4. 38 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,426 Yeah, matt. What are you, a baby? 39 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,761 [baby talk] a little baby? 40 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:37,830 [ laughter ] 41 00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:45,103 ♪♪ 42 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:52,511 ♪♪ 43 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:59,784 ♪♪ 44 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,721 [ villagers chattering ] 45 00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:11,196 [ chattering excitedly ] 46 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,331 [ beep! ] 47 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,067 [ chattering excitedly ] 48 00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,468 [ boing! ] 49 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:23,876 ♪♪ 50 00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,477 [ beep! ] 51 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,612 [ thud! ] 52 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,883 [ growls ] 53 00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:33,151 [ beep! ] 54 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,019 [ growls ] 55 00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,956 [ frightened chattering ] 56 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,024 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 57 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,760 [ electronic laughter ] 58 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,762 [ frightened chattering ] 59 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:49,834 ♪♪ 60 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,770 Aah! 61 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,305 Aah! 62 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,307 Aah! 63 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,841 [ frightened chattering ] 64 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,377 [ growls ] 65 00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,713 [ frightened chattering ] 66 00:03:00,715 --> 00:03:03,047 Aah! 67 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:04,550 [ chatters ] 68 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,988 [ mouse clicking ] 69 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,324 [ crickets chirping ] 70 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:16,795 ♪♪ 71 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,397 [ beep! ] 72 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,200 [ keyboard clacking ] 73 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,702 [ beep! ] 74 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,539 [ beep! ] 75 00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:31,610 [ beep! ] 76 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,148 Aah! Hands up! Hands up now! 77 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,083 Lay your hands flat on the ground. 78 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,218 Put your hands in your pockets! Put your hands in my pockets! 79 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,755 Why's that light blinking? It's just my computer. 80 00:03:42,757 --> 00:03:44,088 Put 'er down! 81 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:46,759 [ gunfire ] aah! 82 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,363 [ panting ] alright, kid, we got a tip 83 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:52,897 Muammar gaddafi's hiding in here. 84 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:53,766 Where is he? Who? 85 00:03:53,768 --> 00:03:55,500 Smile for the camera, everyone. 86 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,701 Y'all just got zanepranked. 87 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,437 Zane, is this another swatting prank? 88 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,038 Swatting a simp from school prank #6. 89 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,706 Can't you arrest him for that? 90 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,509 You nuts? You know how many subs my guided meditations channel 91 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,311 Got after swatting a simp #2 dropped? 92 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,446 Thanks for the tag, zane. 93 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,314 Alright, boys. Let's clear out. 94 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:10,382 [ gunfire ] 95 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,050 You know what I like about zanepranks? 96 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:15,187 You can tell they're coming from a good place. 97 00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:17,389 [ laughs ] 98 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,658 Dad, I don't understand 99 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,260 Why you can't just buy me a new computer. 100 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,997 Because, in this family, we're not just given things, matt. 101 00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:26,999 That's what your pop-pop here taught me when he gave me 102 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,801 This job in exchange for a weekly allowance. 103 00:04:28,803 --> 00:04:30,402 He said, if I worked hard enough, 104 00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,136 Then maybe he'd put me on the payroll. 105 00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:35,740 Then, after he dies, maybe I could take his place as ceo. 106 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,610 Now look at me -- the ceo-in-waiting of royal crackers. 107 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,079 Today, you could be starting down the same path. 108 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,615 I'm gonna get paid? Yes. Out of my weekly allowance. 109 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,817 How much will I be making? 110 00:04:44,819 --> 00:04:46,885 Ha! Hear that, dad? I can't see. 111 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,687 Who is that over there, mark cuban? 112 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,623 Yeah, heh! Maybe I'm gonna be the next ceo. 113 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,558 Over my dead [bleep] body! 114 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,760 You trying to start a war you can't win, asshole? 115 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,630 Well, here we are -- the taste-testing department. 116 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,632 This is my favorite place to spend my downtime. 117 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,234 Stebe! Stebe! Stebe! Stebe! 118 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:03,902 Hey, guys. Comin' in! 119 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,303 [ laughter ] 120 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,839 Hey, that tickles! 121 00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:09,241 [ grunts, laughs ] they love this! 122 00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:12,511 [ laughter, grunting continues ] 123 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:14,379 Aah! [ thud! ] 124 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,915 Everyone, I want you all to meet your new co-worker, matt hornsby. 125 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,450 Hi, matt. Hi, matt. Hi, matt. Hi, matt. 126 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:19,784 So what are we working on today? 127 00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,453 Got a new flavor we're testing? Mm! 128 00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,522 Stebe, that's drywall. Blech! 129 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,457 [ laughter ] alright. 130 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,125 Yes, it's very funny. 131 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,527 Yeah. 132 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,728 Okay. [ laughter continues ] 133 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,931 Enough! God, you guys take it too far! 134 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,533 Y-you just don't know when to stop! 135 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,069 At a certain point it -- it just becomes malicious! 136 00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,071 I'm leaving! [ slam! ] 137 00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:40,605 God! [ glass shatters ] 138 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,541 Hey, um...Do you guys have a computer around here? 139 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,142 Yeah, it's right over there. 140 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,277 [ buzzing ] 141 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,611 Ugh. 142 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:52,817 ♪♪ 143 00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,286 Alfred: Ohh. Ha ha! 144 00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:55,620 [ grunting ] 145 00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:58,623 Oh! Wipeout! [ laughs ] 146 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,425 [ telephone rings ] oh, uh, uh... 147 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:03,696 [ grunting ] 148 00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:06,030 Uh...Oh. 149 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:09,101 Oh, nothing. I-I was just, uh... 150 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,870 I was -- I was, uh... 151 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,775 ...Working. 152 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,177 Yes, I was working. 153 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:22,981 Yes, sir, I'll bring him up right away. 154 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,583 Matthew? 155 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,385 Corporate would like to see you upstairs. 156 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,054 [ click! Whir! ] 157 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,557 [ click! ] 158 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,928 [ ding! ] 159 00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:41,934 ♪♪ 160 00:06:41,936 --> 00:06:47,672 ♪♪ 161 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,341 Theodore: Hello, young man. 162 00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:54,679 ♪♪ 163 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:58,083 Are you gonna say anything or...? 164 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,484 Hello? 165 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,019 How long is this movie? 166 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,556 No. Matt, jesus christ, I'm talking to you directly. 167 00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,891 Pop-pop? Allow me to explain myself. 168 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:09,694 Many moons ago, I spent a hefty portion of my wealth 169 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,563 To map out my neurological construct 170 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,097 And replicate it onto this computer. 171 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,634 It allows me to keep watch over my entire empire 172 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:18,303 With the help of this state-of-the-art technology. 173 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:20,973 It's called a router, created by linksys. 174 00:07:20,975 --> 00:07:22,707 Matthew, I had no idea you wanted 175 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,109 To be part of the royal cracker empire. 176 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,577 Well, I just wanted to make enough money 177 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:26,779 To buy a new computer. 178 00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:28,447 This kid zane broke mine as a prank. 179 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:30,515 My boy, you leave this zane 180 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,517 To your dear, old pop-pop. 181 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,118 [ crickets chirping ] 182 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,855 Here he comes. 183 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,057 Hey! Hey! Hey! There he is! 184 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,793 Come on, sit right here next to uncle theo, 185 00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:42,260 You fat, little bitch. 186 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,798 Dig in, matt. I got us okay panda, your favorite. 187 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,932 The chow mein's right there. Eat. 188 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,934 So, matt, I went over to the taste-testing department 189 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,804 To bury the hatchet over their verbal abuse issues, 190 00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:53,938 And they told me you were called upstairs by corporate. 191 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,273 Why don't you tell us about that? 192 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,810 Jesus, get your nose out of his beeswax, dude. 193 00:07:57,812 --> 00:08:00,078 Hey, matt, ten-plus years in the music biz, I got a lot 194 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,814 Of experience dealing with these corporate types. 195 00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:04,749 You need advice, you come knock on uncle theo's door anytime. 196 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,418 Or now. You can tell me now. 197 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,487 If you want. Tell me now. 198 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:11,223 Tell me right now. Tell me. 199 00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:14,893 Matt, your chow mein's getting cold. Eat it. 200 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,762 Actually, I got a big day tomorrow. 201 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,165 [ yawns ] I should get some shut eye. 202 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,501 Goodnight, pop-pop. 203 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:28,173 Well, looks like we got a traitor in our midst. 204 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,509 And I'll give you a hint of who it is. 205 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,445 He's been inside of me. Matt. 206 00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:36,248 Deb, which one of these did you put this truth serum in? 207 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:37,115 The chow mein. 208 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,251 Uh, wait, was it the chow mein? 209 00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,652 [ thud! ] 210 00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:43,988 [ knocking on door ] 211 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:47,792 Mr. P? Zane, I just got off the phone with the hospital. 212 00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:49,994 Have a seat, bro. 213 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,197 It looks like someone may have tampered 214 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,132 With the axle on your dad's mercedes. 215 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,601 Apparently, the tires came off their car, 216 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,671 And they crashed right into a chucklebee's. 217 00:08:58,673 --> 00:09:01,005 The whole restaurant was engulfed in flames. 218 00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:03,408 Like a prank? Yeah, zane. 219 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:04,743 Like a prank. 220 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,478 [sobbing] please, mr. P., 221 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,746 Tell me that they're okay. 222 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,481 Your parents are dead, bro. 223 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:12,217 [ crying ] 224 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,085 [ laughter ] 225 00:09:13,087 --> 00:09:15,687 Oh, my god, zane is a loser. 226 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:19,558 Uh, zane? It's, uh -- it's just a prank. 227 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,693 Wh-what? 228 00:09:20,695 --> 00:09:22,695 Your parents are okay. 229 00:09:22,697 --> 00:09:24,763 [ chuckles ] surprise. 230 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,432 You're a dick, mr. P. I hate you! 231 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,834 [ slam! ] thanks a lot. 232 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,570 Don't you forget -- you didn't see me. 233 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:34,306 And then no one will have to find out about this. 234 00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,975 Mr. P. Here. 235 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,778 And I'm about to show you what I got. 236 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,646 Mm! 237 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,248 Yeah. 238 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,382 Oh, yeah. 239 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,050 Huh? Mm-hmm. 240 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,252 Unh! 241 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,121 How you like me now? 242 00:09:49,123 --> 00:09:51,723 Uh-huh. Huh? That's right. 243 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,858 Unh! Unh! 244 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,327 What's my name? 245 00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:56,595 [ laughter ] 246 00:09:56,597 --> 00:10:00,099 Ha ha! Smile, bro. You just got mattzapped. 247 00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:05,537 [ laughter ] 248 00:10:07,408 --> 00:10:09,274 Theodore: You see, matt? 249 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,077 Exploiting weaknesses is the very soil that nourishes power. 250 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,812 Watch this. Hey, alfred. 251 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,614 What accident befell you to earn you 252 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,415 That horrid limp, you old goat? 253 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,883 You, uh, y-you, uh, you what? 254 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,285 You -- were -- were you -- were you working 255 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,020 The -- the -- the secret service 256 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,156 And had to take a bullet for john adams? 257 00:10:24,158 --> 00:10:25,290 Senior? 258 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,959 [ both laugh ] 259 00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:28,893 A bit of a trip, but we got there eventually. 260 00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,829 It's a genetic bone disease. 261 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,965 I-it's called boner -- 262 00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:35,968 Boner? That's the modern coinage for an erection. 263 00:10:35,970 --> 00:10:38,703 [ laughter ] 264 00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:41,039 Is -- is he gonna be okay? 265 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,374 Is that sympathy I'm hearing? 266 00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:43,842 You push that down right now. 267 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,910 It's certainly no use to my next successor. 268 00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,713 Successor? You mean ceo? 269 00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,915 That's right, there's no one in the world 270 00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,851 I'd rather build my empire with, matthew. 271 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,719 Do you think you have what it takes? 272 00:10:54,721 --> 00:11:02,461 ♪♪ 273 00:11:02,463 --> 00:11:10,134 ♪♪ 274 00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:17,476 ♪♪ 275 00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:19,744 [ laughter ] 276 00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:26,885 ♪♪ 277 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,354 Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! 278 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,689 Well, what do you think? 279 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,424 We saw a gregslist ad for a computer for sale. 280 00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,026 Only a hundred bucks this bad boy. 281 00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,960 Can you believe your eyes? 282 00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:38,497 Look at his face. He's about to pass out. 283 00:11:38,499 --> 00:11:40,499 Oh, thanks, guys. 284 00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,034 But my life's gotten so much better 285 00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:44,302 Since I stopped wasting my time with trivial endeavors. 286 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,104 What in the [bleep] has happened to you? 287 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,040 Are you freaking joking me right now? 288 00:11:48,042 --> 00:11:49,574 Okay, you want me to be honest? 289 00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:51,243 This computer is a piece of shit. 290 00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:53,311 Hey! You kiss corporate's [bleep] with that mouth? 291 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,980 Corporate treats me better than any of you ever have. 292 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,850 You're only giving me a computer 293 00:11:57,852 --> 00:12:00,919 So I stop going to work because you're scared. 294 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,320 And you should be. 295 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,456 And when I'm ceo of royal crackers, 296 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:07,726 First order of business will be to fire all y'all. 297 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,061 Byeeeee! 298 00:12:09,063 --> 00:12:10,863 Okay, guess what. The computer wasn't $100. 299 00:12:10,865 --> 00:12:12,731 It was free. Guy couldn't wait to get rid of it. 300 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,999 We wouldn't have gotten you shit if the pickup address 301 00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:17,536 Wasn't so conveniently close to a chucklebee's, 302 00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:19,271 Where we were headed anyway! 303 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:21,339 You guys, don't lower yourselves to his level. 304 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,474 He's just another sheeple 305 00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:24,276 Cupping the genitals of corporate america. 306 00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:26,611 Two things I learned from my man zach de la rocha -- 307 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,012 1, how to work hard and attain 308 00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,481 The business career of your dreams, 309 00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,884 And, 2, how to rage against these corporate shills. 310 00:12:31,886 --> 00:12:34,653 Watch your back, nutsuck. 311 00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:40,859 [ villagers chattering ] 312 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,429 [ beep! ] 313 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:52,304 ♪♪ 314 00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,205 [ beep! ] 315 00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,178 [ beep! ] 316 00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,282 No freakin' way. 317 00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:06,785 [ zoom! ] 318 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,720 [ keyboard clacking ] 319 00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,188 [ thunder crashes ] 320 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,724 [ ding! ] hey, pop-pop, 321 00:13:11,726 --> 00:13:13,258 Is it okay if I move in with you? 322 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,927 I brought everything I need. [ gasps ] 323 00:13:14,929 --> 00:13:16,929 Is that for me? 324 00:13:16,931 --> 00:13:18,530 Theodore: Yes, it is, matthew. 325 00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:20,332 You see, we need to talk... 326 00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:23,535 About this craftopia. You play craftopia, too? 327 00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:26,071 No, I don't play craftopia 'cause I'm not a [bleep] baby! 328 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,472 I just have an uncanny talent 329 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,541 For sniffing out shameful endeavors. 330 00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:31,676 I'm not ashamed of craftopia. Well, you should be. 331 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:34,947 Matt, if we're going to take this partnership any further, 332 00:13:34,949 --> 00:13:37,282 I need to know that you're 100% committed 333 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,284 To the expansion of our empire. 334 00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,886 I want you to log on to craftopia 335 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,355 And destroy that little world of yours 336 00:13:43,357 --> 00:13:46,558 And never speak to this donutfart69 again. 337 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,293 [ gasps ] 338 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,763 Uh, okay. I-I just won't play anymore. 339 00:13:50,765 --> 00:13:52,230 I promise. Matthew... 340 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,767 I could wait for a new successor. 341 00:13:54,769 --> 00:13:57,435 But there's only one matt hornsby. 342 00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:01,573 Please, my boy. Do it for your pop-pop. 343 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:09,314 ♪♪ 344 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:16,454 ♪♪ 345 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:20,793 See it for what it is -- just a bunch of ones and zeros. 346 00:14:20,795 --> 00:14:26,465 ♪♪ 347 00:14:26,467 --> 00:14:31,470 ♪♪ 348 00:14:31,472 --> 00:14:33,738 Prove your worth! Kill them all! 349 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:39,011 ♪♪ 350 00:14:39,013 --> 00:14:41,847 [ frightened chattering ] 351 00:14:44,819 --> 00:14:46,885 [ frightened chattering ] 352 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:55,027 ♪♪ 353 00:14:55,029 --> 00:14:56,895 [ frightened chattering ] 354 00:14:56,897 --> 00:15:03,368 ♪♪ 355 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:09,307 ♪♪ 356 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,910 Hilarious! I'm proud of you, matthew. 357 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,913 Am -- am I ceo now? 358 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:17,349 [ wheels squeaking ] 359 00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:20,785 Just one more step. 360 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,087 [ snap! ] 361 00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:26,258 This is the t.H.A.I. Microchip, matthew, 362 00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:29,261 A technological feat of monolithic proportions. 363 00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,263 It allows me to take complete control 364 00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:33,532 Of any organic life form. 365 00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:39,204 ♪♪ 366 00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:41,339 Al, what are you doing here so late? 367 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,108 I... 368 00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:50,415 I'm playing a computer game about skiing. 369 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,751 Oh. Okay. Well, have fun. 370 00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:54,219 I like skiing. Oh. 371 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,888 Well, good for you. 372 00:15:55,890 --> 00:15:58,623 I like when there's a fresh sheet of gnar pow on the slope 373 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,827 And I can be the first to shred it with my skis. 374 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,097 Al, I hope this isn't weird to say, 375 00:16:05,099 --> 00:16:07,031 But each one of these sentences 376 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,901 Is making you way cooler in my eyes. 377 00:16:08,903 --> 00:16:12,304 [ gasps ] really? Why, thank you, stebe. 378 00:16:12,306 --> 00:16:13,972 Uh, where are you headed? 379 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,574 Is there a gymnasium in this building? 380 00:16:15,576 --> 00:16:18,042 Who needs a gym when we've got the taste testers in there? 381 00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:20,245 I just go in and start throwing fists. 382 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:24,249 [ grunting ] [ laughing ] 383 00:16:28,122 --> 00:16:29,854 Theodore: All we do is make a small, painless, 384 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,124 Practically invisible incision on your scalp. 385 00:16:32,126 --> 00:16:34,058 The chip slips right in and grants me access 386 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:35,193 To all neurological function. 387 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,661 So what are we waiting for? 388 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,263 Strip down and hop onto that surgical table, 389 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,664 You little ragamuffin. 390 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,199 Uh, I don't know about this, grandpa. 391 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,601 Well, what's the hesitation here? 392 00:16:42,603 --> 00:16:43,402 I don't know. 393 00:16:43,404 --> 00:16:45,137 I don't know what I want anymore. 394 00:16:45,139 --> 00:16:47,072 But I do know what we want, matthew -- 395 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,742 To expand our brand, get into chips and salsas. 396 00:16:49,744 --> 00:16:51,343 Start an entertainment arm. 397 00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:53,211 We can write westerns, and I'll star in them. 398 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,479 I am very handsome. 399 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:57,015 But you won't look like you. You'll look like me. 400 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,284 Oh, right, but I-I do feel like we -- 401 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:01,153 We both like chips and salsas, right? 402 00:17:01,155 --> 00:17:03,088 Matthew, do not trust another word 403 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,889 From this monstrous abomination. 404 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,359 I'm no longer doing your bidding, theodore. 405 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,628 Alfred! You need me to pull out the big guns? 406 00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:13,365 Do your worst, sunshine. Well, as you wish. 407 00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:16,168 Matt, I don't mean to sound like chad kroeger right now, 408 00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:17,636 But look at this photograph. 409 00:17:17,638 --> 00:17:20,839 [ laughs ] it's big, manly alfred, 410 00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:23,642 On a ski trip with some gal pals. 411 00:17:23,644 --> 00:17:25,778 Oh, yeah. Looks fun. 412 00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:29,181 It was fun, until I obtained this "horrid limp" 413 00:17:29,183 --> 00:17:31,316 Trying to pull a sick 180. 414 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,251 W-wait, wh-what do you mean it looks fun? 415 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,320 Who straps elongated shoes to their feet 416 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,721 And slithers down a mountain? 417 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,791 [ chuckles ] a pantywaist, that's who. 418 00:17:38,793 --> 00:17:40,058 Right, matt? 419 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,926 I'll be honest, grandpa -- I-I don't know 420 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,862 What you're trying to make me feel here. 421 00:17:43,864 --> 00:17:45,397 Okay. Well played, alfred. 422 00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:48,266 It seems the changing of times really devalued my hand here. 423 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,335 Look, just -- matt, you have to take my word for it, 424 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:53,271 At one point, this photo would be wildly damning. 425 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,007 The man is manipulating you, matthew, 426 00:17:55,009 --> 00:17:57,676 Just as he did those taste testers downstairs. 427 00:17:57,678 --> 00:18:00,144 They're the result of his failed attempts 428 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,014 At this preposterous operation. 429 00:18:02,016 --> 00:18:04,282 Grandpa, you told me I was special. 430 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:07,019 You are special, matthew. You have my dna. 431 00:18:07,021 --> 00:18:08,220 Why didn't you ask my dad? 432 00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:10,088 He'd gladly turn his body over to you. 433 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,290 Yeah, I'll pass, thanks. 434 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,526 Okay, you know what? I'm out of here. 435 00:18:16,897 --> 00:18:19,364 Al, one call to the police, and I can end both of us. 436 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:22,034 Now hold the boy down while this quack sticks him 437 00:18:22,036 --> 00:18:23,968 With one of his sleep needles. 438 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:27,706 [ sighs ] okay, mr. Hornsby. 439 00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:29,174 [ whimpers ] 440 00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:31,776 [ chuckles evilly ] 441 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:32,977 But you should know 442 00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:34,979 That I already called the police 443 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:38,183 With an anonymous tip that this is the safehouse 444 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,052 Of muammar gaddafi. 445 00:18:40,054 --> 00:18:41,986 [ gunfire ] duck and cover. 446 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,188 Gaddafi! 447 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,123 Router! 448 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,526 Doctor! Open fire! 449 00:18:47,528 --> 00:18:48,861 Yeah, baby! 450 00:18:48,863 --> 00:18:50,662 [ gunfire ] 451 00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:52,531 Oh! 452 00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:54,767 [ electricity crackling ] 453 00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,671 What the hell? 454 00:18:59,673 --> 00:19:01,540 What happened to the security doors? 455 00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:04,276 Why aren't they closing? Looks like your router's shot. 456 00:19:04,278 --> 00:19:06,078 You're disconnected from the whole building. 457 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,612 Uh, okay, we can fix this. 458 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,749 How much does a linksys router cost? $10,000? 459 00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:14,018 Matthew! You're gonna leave me all by my lonesome? 460 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,220 I-I'm your pop-pop. 461 00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,488 No, you're not. 462 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,091 You're just a bunch of ones and zeros. 463 00:19:19,093 --> 00:19:21,894 Fine. Go. You think I need you? Ha! 464 00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,763 I have a vivid imagination with screenplay ideas 465 00:19:24,765 --> 00:19:26,899 That will entertain me for years to come! 466 00:19:26,901 --> 00:19:28,233 Do you hear me? 467 00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:29,701 Hello? 468 00:19:29,703 --> 00:19:31,770 [ sirens wailing ] 469 00:19:31,772 --> 00:19:34,773 I'm sorry I exposed you to all that, young man. 470 00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:36,709 Your grandfather... Well -- 471 00:19:36,711 --> 00:19:39,311 I get it. The a.I. Became corrupted. 472 00:19:39,313 --> 00:19:41,513 That's not who pop-pop really was. 473 00:19:41,515 --> 00:19:44,182 Y-y-yeah. 474 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:48,052 Matthew, I spent a lot of my life 475 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,722 In shame over my love for skiing. 476 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,725 Well, to quote the great thespian nicolas cageman 477 00:19:53,727 --> 00:19:58,062 In the film "adaptations," "you are what you love. 478 00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,799 You are only what you love." 479 00:20:00,801 --> 00:20:02,534 Thanks, uncle al. 480 00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:06,138 But just so I'm clear -- this whole time, 481 00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:07,472 You were completely on board 482 00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,674 With letting an a.I. Take over my body? 483 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:10,875 I... 484 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,146 Look, I was very embarrassed about skiing. 485 00:20:14,148 --> 00:20:20,552 ♪♪ 486 00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:26,891 ♪♪ 487 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:33,298 ♪♪ 488 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:37,836 ♪ and you cried all night ♪ 489 00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:43,142 ♪ till you created a stream and it flows forever ♪ 490 00:20:44,178 --> 00:20:47,445 ♪ it's made of dreams ♪ 491 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,314 ♪ that didn't come true ♪ 492 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:53,251 ♪ and I'm sorry there's nothing more ♪ 493 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,854 ♪ that I can do ♪ 494 00:20:55,856 --> 00:21:00,725 ♪♪ 495 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:05,129 ♪ when we get together ♪ 496 00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:08,600 ♪ take apart my fantasy ♪ 497 00:21:08,602 --> 00:21:11,136 ♪ and when we're done ♪ 498 00:21:11,138 --> 00:21:14,539 ♪ we'll work on you ♪ 499 00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:19,077 ♪ yes, we lie emotionless, staring at the ceiling ♪ 500 00:21:19,079 --> 00:21:22,815 ♪ your back turned up against the wall ♪ 501 00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:27,619 ♪♪ 502 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:32,024 ♪ and now I clearly see ♪ 503 00:21:32,026 --> 00:21:34,426 ♪ straight to the back of my skull ♪ 504 00:21:34,428 --> 00:21:38,296 ♪ and I'm shivering ♪ 505 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:41,033 ♪ all night long ♪ 506 00:21:41,035 --> 00:21:45,103 ♪ yes, my skin is clear, and you can see ♪ 507 00:21:45,105 --> 00:21:47,039 ♪ what I'm thinking ♪ 508 00:21:47,041 --> 00:21:50,242 ♪ I'm thinking hard about ♪ 509 00:21:50,244 --> 00:21:53,045 ♪ all the things I've been dreaming ♪ 510 00:21:53,047 --> 00:21:56,915 ♪ I've been dreaming about you ♪ 511 00:21:56,917 --> 00:21:58,851 ♪ and only you ♪ 512 00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:02,821 [ beep! ] 513 00:22:03,924 --> 00:22:08,460 ♪ turning land into waste ♪ 514 00:22:08,462 --> 00:22:12,397 ♪ but it could be worse, yeah ♪ 515 00:22:12,399 --> 00:22:17,202 ♪ things could be so much worse ♪ 516 00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:28,213 Chirp.