Previously on "Grosse Pointe Garden Society"...
Maybe we shouldn't just jump into this.
I can't understand what changed literally overnight.
You're the one who put a PI on me.
Who you pulled a knife on.
I filed for emergency custody this morning.
Maybe there is something else with Brett.
That bitch killed my dog.
- Give me the quilt. - No.
It's Patty's.
Let go!
Good news, baby.
I found a way to get you that tuition.
She was wearing a fancy blue dress.
She was with a friend in a red dress.
She's such a phony bitch.
Someone stole the quilt.
I can't have our baby behind bars.
- He's not going ice fishing. - Where is he going?
Shopping, his new life.
Please tell me I didn't just hear
they're gonna dig up the body.
We have to move it.
♪ Away from you
♪ Ah
♪ Song
When did the Pattersons put in solar panels?
Well, they're not even working because Joyce
refuses to cut down that big sugar maple
that's blocking the sun.
Well, if she's worried about her carbon footprint,
she should probably start with their private jet.
You want a banana muffin?
They're fresh from the oven.
You know what I want.
I could dig up some of that Irish butter you like.
I want my quilt, Marilyn.
Donna didn't deliver it?
No, you told me to pick it up the morning after the gala.
Mm.
Did I?
You don't know where it is, do you?
Not at this exact moment.
But you know where my money is, though.
Let's just cool our jets.
Oh, these jets are just warming up.
I will get to the bottom of it.
You better before Keith gets back from the cabin.
That's no way to talk to a friend.
Friends don't swindle each other.
What happened to us?
Oh, please, Marilyn.
You know what happened.
And if I don't get that quilt,
you know what happens next.
Melissa.
Is Brett here?
He's--come in.
Hey, you didn't have to make the bed.
I don't want to interrupt you guys.
No.
I mean, it's only gonna get all messy again.
Anyone want coffee?
I'm caffeinated.
She's having a hard time at home.
Yeah. It's none of my business.
I'm sleeping on the couch.
They wanted to send some random guy to serve you.
You don't have to do this.
I thought it would be more humane if I brought it myself.
I meant take the kids.
Do you have a lawyer?
With what money?
I just want to make sure that you have a fair shot
at the custody hearing. - Now you want to play fair?
I'm not the one who put a knife to that guy's throat.
Again, scissors.
Just get a lawyer.
I should go.
You don't have to.
Yeah, well, can't hide here forever.
At some point, I'm--
I'm gonna have to face what we did.
Your garden is only as good as the seeds you plant.
But it's hard to tell when you get a bad seed.
And you never know how many there are in a pack.
There's bagels in the kitchen.
I'm good, thanks.
Yeah, somebody picked weird flavors
like blueberry and garlic.
Anything else I can do for you?
You remember that bracelet
we got off that tweaker gas station guy?
So in the end, every seed that's planted
is a flip of a coin,
because what looks perfect on the outside
might be totally rotten on the inside.
OK, which one of these says, "Put me on the side of a bus"?
They all look the same.
She looks honest.
She looks like a murderer.
Well, she looks professional.
Yeah, like a hit man.
Come on, babe.
They all look amazing.
They all look like mug shots.
Mommy, put that in the compost.
Just goes to the same place, baby.
But they won't break down in the trash.
Ooh, I smell you, science girl.
OK, go get your backpack.
What's the point?
Oh, well, 30% reduction in landfill waste.
No, I mean all of it.
- Oh, boy. - How do I teach our kids
to recycle and respect the planet?
How do I pretend to be someone that you
can trust to sell your home?
How do I organize PTA food drives and book fairs?
You just do.
How do I pretend I didn't just murder someone?
OK, look.
You put your shoes on, you go outside,
and you just get through the day, OK?
And no one's gonna be able to tell the difference
between the realtor and the hit man.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- What? - Ew!
- Absolutely not. - Think about it.
The whole point of compost is to break down
things we want to get rid of.
We can't compost my husband's father.
Ugh.
I'm not sure how to put this delicately.
Then don't.
It only takes a month to mulch a human body.
Please tell me you did not look that up on your phone.
Well, Addie referenced a chicken in her science project,
so I'm ballparking it.
There must be someplace more humane.
Well, I'm open to any other alternatives.
What about a freezer?
Whose?
Well, don't you have that big one in your garage?
Oh, sure, we'll just tuck him in
right next to Addie's ice cream sandwiches
and Dakota's frozen waffles.
Hey, set the benchmark here.
Once they finish the site survey,
they're gonna break ground.
We have to move Quiche now.
Least he'll be enriching our soil.
Maybe Quiche is just what we need to win the cup.
I'm just saying, if you believe that God
has a plan for everyone...
The math just ain't mathin'.
A pill popper with a bunch of priors stealing a bracelet?
Adds up to me.
Then why did this Pete guy corroborate his story?
Pete? Who--who's Pete?
Some drifter who washes windows for change
at the station.
That's your witness?
He told me what the lady was wearing.
He also mention the self-serve propane tanks
are blocking the government from reading his thoughts?
He described her friend wearing the red dress too.
Look, I admire your ambition here, Duncan,
but we're talking about a couple of junkies.
But both those dudes were so specific
about that red dress.
OK.
Said it sparkled like a Christmas ornament.
Sounds like they were high.
Sounds like the one that your friend was wearing too.
Who?
You know, the one that came to see you that same night?
You want to make a name for yourself?
I'm just trying to do what's right.
All right.
But if you poke enough bears, one's bound to wake up.
Yes, sir.
So based on Donna's rudimentary timeline,
the quilt went off the grid around 1100 hours.
Who else knows?
You and Donna are the only ones with clearance.
Clearance?
We're not on break, Donna!
Every second counts in a kidnapping case.
What is all this?
So we are cross-referencing every guest at the gala
who drives a black Cadillac
with everyone who bid on the quilt.
And you expect someone to just confess?
When Donna joined the bureau,
she was trained in voice analysis.
I can hear when you're lying.
What if it's just gone?
What do you mean?
I'm just saying, sometimes things that get stolen
aren't always recovered.
Say that again but slower.
If we don't find the quilt, Alice,
no one will ever bet on anything at the gala again.
Well, let's get to work.
Oh! Oh, oh.
Oh, oh!
Hold for Marilyn.
Paper towels by the sink. OK.
Gary's wife, Amanda.
- Ears on. - Mm-hmm.
Amanda.
How's that cute baby girl of yours?
And, you know, passion,
when you have a passion for something,
you want to learn.
No. Mm-hmm.
You're a goddamn fraud, and I will not rest
until you tell us all where you've been keeping
our motherlovin' quilt.
Well, Amanda Mills doesn't have it.
What's wrong, sweetie?
You're out of paper towels.
Hi.
Thanks for coming.
This for me?
15-year Macallan.
Why am I here, Mel?
We've been going about our marriage all wrong.
Agreed.
I'm glad you think that too.
So let's change that.
We've been so consumed with what you need,
there's nothing left for me.
What do you need?
Well, first I want custody of the kids.
Yeah, that was our plan.
And then I want to go back to work.
You're the one who wanted to take time off.
You're a great lawyer.
And maybe I should go to therapy.
Whatever it takes.
I just want you happy, Mel.
And I don't want to be unfair to you.
I appreciate that.
Which is why I want a divorce.
You bought me a bottle of 15-year
for our first anniversary.
We were different then.
I am covered in blisters.
We deserve every one.
- Almost there, guys. - Where, China?
Actually, we'd end up in Australia.
That's what's straight down.
Once we do this, it's over.
Long as they don't find a body,
he's just a missing person.
We're not criminals, right?
No, just horrible human beings.
Oh!
Guys, I hit something.
Oh, God.
Where's the rest of him?
- Nothing's there? - Seriously?
There has to be.
- Oh, no. - Guys.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Quiche is gone.
Gotta be the cops.
There'd be crime tape everywhere.
Yeah, and it'd be all over the news.
Who else would take a dead body?
You read about those people every day.
Where are you reading this?
My phone.
Wow.
Y'all are quite the gardeners.
He wants how much?
Yeah, just for the body.
Do you even have that kind of money?
Wow.
He knows everything.
Well, listen, you can't give it to him.
I don't want to give it to him.
It's an admission of guilt.
And they just keep coming back
for more and more and more
until the only way out is to expose yourself, literally.
Sounds like you're speaking from experience.
Let's just say don't google me with the safe search off.
Oh, my God.
You know, you really shouldn't be here.
Where else am I gonna find a dirty cop?
You know, I need to lay low for a while.
Aren't you supposed to serve and protect?
Not like this.
Well, who else is gonna pull this prick over
and plant a kilo of coke under his seat?
It's not 1985.
I could end up in jail!
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
What's going on?
I didn't--
I didn't want to worry you yet.
Yet?
Now I'm worried.
It's nothing I can't handle.
What do I do?
♪ And I'm sorry I was evil
From your friend.
♪ I don't do that anymore
Yeah, that's not my friend.
Guy's been here all night.
Well, he can keep it.
Well, you might as well enjoy it
because we're about to kick him out.
Hey, champ.
So, what, you're stalking me now too?
Just looking to split a little calamari with you.
Why don't you do that with your goon?
What?
The one you put on me?
That guy's a dirtbag.
Yeah.
He's way worse than that.
How about some wings, champ? Hmm?
Quit calling me that.
Come on.
You did it.
You knocked me on my ass.
Lights out, KO.
Just go home, man.
Wish I could.
I'll call you an Uber.
She left me.
Well, you guys will work it out.
I gave her cars, houses, vacations,
even a botched vasectomy.
But I never could give her the one thing
she ever really wanted.
And what's that, Connor?
You.
She left me for you.
Yeah,
for all the wrong reasons.
She's got a funny way of showing it.
All right.
Beat it, pal.
Only hurt the ones you love, champ.
♪ I want to hold the hand inside you ♪
♪ I want to take a breath that's true ♪
♪ I look to you and I see nothing ♪
♪ I look to you to see the truth ♪
♪ You live your life, you go in shadows ♪
♪ You'll come apart and you'll go blind ♪
♪ Some kind of night into your darkness ♪
♪ Colors your eyes with what's not there ♪
♪ Fade into you
♪ Strange you never knew
♪ Fade into you
And over here, next spring,
we're gonna plant a whole row of cherry blossoms.
- Ooh, I love those. - Really?
No. Where's my money at?
- Um-- - Oh! Here she is.
Oh.
Sorry, my banker was asking a lot of questions.
OK, let's do this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's our body?
Yeah, and all those pictures that you took of us?
Coordinates, SIM card.
OK.
Nuh-uh! You first.
No, you first.
Like we're gonna trust you.
You people are the murderers.
Why don't we exchange at the same time?
Yeah.
Fine. Count of three.
- One-- - Hey!
- That's not fair! - Come on, man!
Don't get frosty, pal.
OK, OK.
What were you thinking?
I was gonna do what he did, only on the count of two.
That's not a plan.
Yeah, but it never ends with guys like this.
Now it will.
Whoa, whoa. OK, just--let's hold on.
We will get you the money.
Hey, Siri, call the Grosse...
Pointe Police Department.
OK. Whoa, whoa!
God damn it, Siri.
Police department.
Look, I can Venmo you.
That's not gonna work.
Zelle, whatever!
Siri.
Sir, are you OK?
Is it your heart?
Not again.
We should probably do something.
We really should.
But if we didn't...
And he just expires,
Then this all goes away.
We can get Quiche back.
Guys!
Honestly, it's an act of God.
Not to pile on, but it's not exactly
like the world needs him.
Oh, yeah. He's a terrible person.
Mm-hmm.
But then what does that make us?
Oh, my God, you're heroes.
True heroes, all of you.
Well, we just did what any decent human being would do.
Are you kidding me?
They said it was like a widow-maker.
Oh, that's the bad one.
Yeah.
He wouldn't be here if you guys hadn't done CPR.
Well, it just wasn't his time.
Well, it's still touch-and-go.
It is?
But are they leaning more 50/50?
60/40?
It's just too soon to tell.
Right.
Sorry. I'm a mess.
Of course you are.
He's your dad.
If you can call him that.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
He just wasn't really around much when I was a kid.
Doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.
I don't even have any pictures with him.
You'll just have to take some together when he wakes up.
You guys are angels.
You know who's always reminding people
innocent until proven guilty?
Someone who's guilty!
Cross off Brandy Bowman.
That's nearly everyone, Marilyn.
Well, we have Donna still going door to door,
so maybe that will bear fruit.
Or maybe it won't.
What have you been smoking, Alice?
I know where the quilt is.
OK.
Please, tell me.
Only if you tell me something first.
Anything.
Why do you have this?
Tonight the chef has prepared
some minced sole meunière
with a demi-glace of truffles
and lemon.
Mr. Fingers, time for dinner!
♪ This is how it feels to be in love ♪
Mr. Fingers?
Baby, where are you?
Where are you, baby?
Come to Mama, baby!
Oh, God. Oh, no.
Damn coyotes!
♪ I
OK. Oh, God.
You leave my baby alone!
Mr. Fingers?
Mr. Fingers!
♪ My own
♪ Movie
I didn't know who else to call.
Just-- you don't have to do this.
No, no, no, my mother always said,
have a cake on hand because you never know
who's gonna drop by or what feelings need eating.
Jesus, Marilyn.
Oh, God, it happened so fast.
Oh, honey, I know. I know.
Why would Alice's dog be in my backyard?
She's an animal.
Of all the yards in Grosse Pointe.
They get out.
But next door at the Richmans',
she would have been shot by a sprinkler.
Oh, stop, stop.
Just don't do this to yourself.
I wish you'd never loaned me that damn thing.
You wanted it to fix your coyote problem.
You knew guns scared me.
Don't you dare put this on me.
I don't even know how to shoot.
That's why I suggested the class.
What are we gonna do?
Well, I am going to tell my daughter-in-law
that you smoked her dog.
Do you have any idea how much that could hurt Buzz?
What about my family?
Well, there's an election coming up, Patty.
Oh, that is disgusting, even for you.
This could be the Chappaquiddick
of Grosse Pointe.
Please, Buzz is a Republican.
Paybacks are a bitch, Patty.
Excuse me?
Well, you're just a piece of trash
that blew in from downriver.
Big old mess of teased hair and drugstore eye shadow.
I mean, there'd be no country club,
no quilting circle,
no table at the Grill,
I mean, none of it without me.
That was a long time ago.
Thing is, I can still take it all away.
What do you want?
Please,
say something.
Why didn't you tell me?
I wanted to.
You acted like my friend.
I am your friend, Alice.
And then you call me when your cat
is actually attacked by a coyote?
Because I thought that you'd understand.
Because you shot my dog?
When you put it like that--
This is beyond mental, Marilyn.
I'm not well.
You have...
no idea
how different things would be
if you had just come clean.
Well, believe me, if I could go back and just undo it all--
Yeah, me too.
Hiding something that awful, it just rots a person.
It just eats at you from inside, you know?
Yeah, it must be terrible.
Changes you forever.
I can imagine.
I'm really sorry, Alice.
I forgive you.
You're a wonderful person.
I'm no better than you.
Sweetie.
You said you knew where the quilt is.
It's gone, Marilyn.
There's a full workout facility
with, like, weights and a pool and those climbing walls.
Dope.
And, yo, it's free.
They're even hooking me up with a nutritionist.
I don't even know what that means.
We should take a selfie.
- Like, now? - Yeah.
We don't have any pictures.
I don't really do that social media crap.
Oh, just want something to remember you by.
I'm gonna be here till summer.
Yeah, well, I might not be.
Where are you going?
Just--you never know.
Does this have anything to do with that Cadillac you stole?
How'd you get so smart?
Genetics.
Dude, not cool.
Not cool.
- I got it. - OK.
That's fine.
That's the one.
What are you doing?
Waiting for you.
The judge isn't gonna like that shirt.
So?
You need to take this seriously.
This isn't just about the kids, Melissa.
We're gonna be late.
That's just an excuse.
Brett.
You're punishing me.
- Come on. - No.
I wish we could give it another shot.
I just...
can't right now.
I am not in junior high.
And our kids aren't rocks
you can throw at me on the playground.
Where are you going?
Not in there.
Don't be stupid.
Just make sure what you're doing in there
is for the right reason.
Hi.
You're probably at the courthouse.
But I realized I never answered your question
from the other night.
And I guess the truth is,
yeah,
when we're together,
sometimes it does feel
like there could be something more.
I--
I've just been getting a lot of stuff wrong lately.
And I wanted to get something right for a change.
So--
this is Alice, by the way.
OK.
Can I help you, ma'am?
I did something you guys should probably know about.
Thank you.
We're even.
You're a good friend, Patty.
Not anymore.
Hold on to this.
Why?
So you never forget what you did.
Hey, Mom.
Hey!
How was the trip?
Oh.
It was just the vibe I needed.
Well, you have a lot going on.
Yeah.
I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at the gala.
Who cares what other people think?
How very un-Grosse Pointe of you.
Honey, this girl is from Grosse Ile.
Yeah.
Oh, so I forgot to cover the patio furniture.
Oh, I'm sure Dad did it before he left.
What do you mean?
You think your father would ever risk ruining
our new patio furniture?
He wasn't at the cabin, Mom.
Didn't you two go ice fishing?
I haven't seen Dad since the gala.
Where should I begin?
Let's start with your name.
Alice Morris,
M-O-R-R-I-S.
OK.
So what'd you do, Ms. Morris?
Uh, hey, bud.
I can take this. - No, I got it.
Oh, you pulled a double already.
So why don't you get out of here?
Why?
I'm just trying to give you a break.
Well, let me get her statement.
Then I'll head out.
You were saying?
Here's the thing about bad seeds.
They don't all start out that way.
- This is embarrassing. - It's a moment.
Mother Nature loves to throw curveballs.
♪ Isn't it a miracle
♪ My Twitter page refused to load ♪
♪ Your credit card, HBO Go
How will we ever be the same?
We won't.
We'll be better.
♪ You risk it all for romance ♪
Sometimes there are factors in the garden
beyond our control.
♪ You risk it all for romance ♪
A surprisingly warm spring can dry your seeds out.
♪ I have nothing worth going broke for ♪
♪ I have nothing you didn't broker ♪
Hey!
♪ I have nothing worth going broke for ♪
And even the best seeds can't grow in shoddy soil.
Doesn't feel right doing this without Alice.
Has anyone heard from her?
She left me a strange voicemail.
Strange how?
Like, not herself.
Maybe all of this is just too much for her.
Maybe we should have left him in that guy's storage locker.
At least now he's helping the planet.
Yeah, next spring, he'll be part of a beautiful garden.
Yeah.
Rest in peace, Quiche.
Oh.
God, I can't wait to go back to being a basic bitch.
"]
So it doesn't always matter where your seeds come from
or how much you spend on them
or how perfect they appear.
♪ Drag him out your window
♪ Dragging out the dead
♪ Singing, I miss you
♪ Snakes and ladders, flip the lid ♪
♪ Out pops the cracker
♪ Slaps you in the head
♪ Knifes you in the neck
♪ Kicks you in the teeth
♪ Steel toe caps
♪ Takes all your credit cards ♪
♪ Get up, get the gunge
In the wrong environment, all seeds can go bad.
What were you thinking?
How could you do this to us?
We trusted you.
♪ No, no, no, no, no
♪ Walking like giant cranes
♪ And with my X-ray eyes I strip you naked ♪
♪ In a tight little world
♪ And are you on the list
♪ Stepford wives, who are we to complain ♪
♪ Investments and dealers, investments and dealers ♪
♪ Cold wives and mistresses
♪ Cold wives and Sunday papers ♪
♪ City boys in first class
♪ Don't know they're born, they know ♪
♪ Someone else is gonna come and clean it up ♪
♪ Born and raised for the job ♪
♪ Someone always does
♪ I wish you'd get up
♪ Get over, get up, get over
♪ Turn your tape off
♪ I keep the wolf from