1 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:15,840 This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature 2 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,720 INTERCOM BUZZES 3 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:54,400 Why don't you start by telling me why you're here today? 4 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,240 Er, the thing is, 5 00:00:56,240 --> 00:01:00,440 I've tried Spanish fly, and creams... 6 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,840 So you're impotent. OK. 7 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,840 Martin... Can I call you Martin? It's Meurig, actually. 8 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:11,880 It's very important that we converse freely, openly and candidly, OK? 9 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,080 And that's something 10 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,760 that I'll be encouraging you to do with your penis as well. 11 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,680 HE LAUGHS Communicating with one's member 12 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:22,080 engenders a sense of trust and confidence. 13 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,920 And you'll have to give him a name as well. 14 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,920 Him? Oh, unless it's a she, perhaps, is it? 15 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,120 You're asking me to name... 16 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,120 Peter, Paul, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Carol, whatever you like. 17 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,800 This is a wind-up. 18 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,280 I'm not going to... I can't, um...talk to it. 19 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,840 When was the last time that you had sexual intercourse 20 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:39,960 with your wife? 21 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,240 18 months. Two years ago, maybe. 22 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,160 And how would you feel about inviting her to one of our sessions? 23 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,560 No. No way. 24 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:52,960 No, that's not happening. 25 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,000 Not ever. 26 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:57,520 Sorry. 27 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,960 You know, Martin, I think it's very likely 28 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:06,400 that your lack of potency is due to repressed psychological trauma. 29 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,720 I don't think I've got trauma. 30 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,280 It's repressed. 31 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,320 I don't think it is. That's classic. 32 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,520 Look, er... 33 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,560 ..what are my options 34 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,720 if this, you and me, don't work out, then? 35 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:25,520 Well, I mean, there are a number of medical treatments available, 36 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,680 all fairly agricultural, in my opinion. I'll try anything. 37 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,160 Well, there's penile prosthesis, 38 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,840 which is an operation under general anaesthetic, 39 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:36,560 which involves fixing inflatable rods into the shaft of the penis, 40 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,840 which are then inflated with a pump hidden inside the ball sack. 41 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:45,920 Anything else? 42 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:49,720 Injections can be self-administered into the base of the penis 43 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,000 prior to intercourse. 44 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,400 And then there's always the new suppository, 45 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,200 which involves inserting a small pellet 46 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,400 directly up and into the urethra prior to sex. 47 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,160 So any thoughts on a name, Martin? 48 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,440 He sidesteps one... 49 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,920 It's Walker, and it's a try! 50 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,640 I'll see you. 51 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,640 Walker? Hobbler, more like. 52 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,280 Hey, I'm a finely tuned athlete, thank you very much. 53 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,440 With your two left feet? 54 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,560 Where have you been? You didn't come off that bloody bike again? 55 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:56,640 Oh, I got stuck at work. 56 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,960 Oh, there he is. Staying for a chat? 57 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,640 You don't mind if I stay for one, do you? 58 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,320 No, come on, let's go home. I'm freezing. 59 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,640 See you later. 60 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,480 All right? Enjoy that? 61 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:09,840 Yeah! Yeah? 62 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,640 SEAGULLS CRY 63 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:23,800 Right, boys, come on. Dirty kit off and straight in there. 64 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,480 TV: ..shambolic farce... 65 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:37,200 The kids are asleep. Taken your insulin? 66 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,760 Yes, I've taken my insulin. 67 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,800 I think I'm going to go up myself. 68 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:42,960 Coming? 69 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,880 Just watching this. 70 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,040 Why don't you come up? 71 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,640 Yeah, I will. 72 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:49,880 I'll be up after this. 73 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,800 SHE WHISPERS: Meurig, come upstairs. 74 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,200 Ffion, stop. 75 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,240 I'm knackered, is all. 76 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:35,880 Can't keep doing this. 77 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,560 20 across - Christmas greenery. 78 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,640 WOMAN: Conifer? 79 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:40,960 Ah, nine letters. Ah. 80 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,080 All right, we'll come back to that. 81 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,560 Nine down - tempt, six letters. 82 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,800 Entice. 83 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,720 That's the one, that'll do nicely. 84 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:56,800 Right. 13 across - swollen or becoming swollen. 85 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,280 Nine letters. 86 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:00,800 First letter T, second letter U. 87 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,920 Dear, oh, dear, these are getting harder. 88 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,160 Tumescent. 89 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,920 Bloody hell, I think it is an' all. 90 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,480 You're on fire, you are. 91 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:17,800 I've always liked that word, tumescent. 92 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,040 Can you hear it? 93 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,520 The way it turns and rolls in the mouth? 94 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:26,080 It's onomatopoeia, if I'm not mistaken. 95 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,880 Are you... 96 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,880 ..tumescent... 97 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,160 ..Colin? 98 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,920 Shall I, um... 99 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,360 ..fill in the box? 100 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:40,880 Oh, yeah, fill it in. 101 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,480 Oh, now, having said it's onomatopoeia... 102 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,120 Just write it down, Colin. 103 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,640 Yeah, right. 104 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,520 T-U-M-E-S... 105 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,520 Oh! Damn. 106 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:53,640 What happened? 107 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,880 My pencil snapped. 108 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,160 Colin... 109 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,760 ..what if we were to meet up in person? 110 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,040 I mean, these past few months getting to know you 111 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,680 have been lovely, 112 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,400 but wouldn't it be nice to put a face to the voice? 113 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,960 We could have a cup of tea and a slice of cake... 114 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,840 # Which is the name of the game 115 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:27,120 # Watch the guy watch a dame On any street in town 116 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,920 # Up and down 117 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,400 # And over and across Romance is... # 118 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,600 Hey. 119 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,560 All arrived! Hey! 120 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,560 What you think? 121 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,440 Yeah. Yeah, it's good. 122 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:56,240 25% commission on everything I sell, thank you very much. 123 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,320 I'm my own boss. 124 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,760 Oh, God. Look at this one. 125 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,360 How realistic it is, with veins all over it. 126 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,400 Brilliant. 127 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,920 DOORBELL RINGS 128 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,280 LAUGHTER IN NEXT ROOM 129 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,760 I'm not being funny, but some of these are massive. 130 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,760 MORE LAUGHTER 131 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,440 BAWDY CHATTER CONTINUES 132 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,680 You ought to be locked up, you two. 133 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,080 This one's got a bit of give, mind. 134 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,280 That one's like a rolling pin. 135 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,320 WOMEN LAUGH 136 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,440 HE KNOCKS 137 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:33,520 Evening, ladies. 138 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:37,440 Oh! Here comes the stripper! 139 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,360 ALL: Oooh! HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 140 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,000 Alys, can I borrow you? 141 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,160 Bugger off, Peet. We don't need you no more. 142 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,720 We've got batteries now. 143 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:45,960 Excuse me. 144 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,560 Take the whip with you, Alys! 145 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,880 OTHERS WHOOP 146 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,160 How's it going in there? 147 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,960 Ceri's already a bottle of Blue Nun down, can you tell? Mm. 148 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,320 Oh, but, Peet, I love it. I do. 149 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,640 I've sold three vibrators, four sets of stockings, 150 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,880 two fluffy handcuffs and a chocolate cock. 151 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,360 Oh, that's, that's, that's great, that is. Well done. 152 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,120 I feel like a proper businesswoman. 153 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:10,160 Well, I am now, with this. It's what I am. I'm a businesswoman. 154 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,080 I'm really proud of you. 155 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,960 Listen, you... 156 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,520 you haven't told the girls, have you, about... 157 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,320 About what? 158 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,520 Oh, Peet. No. 159 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,840 Do you really think I would? No, I know that. 160 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,640 It's just that I could hear you laughing and I thought... 161 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,840 Nobody's laughing at you, Peet. 162 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,200 This isn't about you, for once. 163 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,200 I'd better get back to it. 164 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,760 Yeah. Yeah. 165 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,280 Sorry, ladies. 166 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,880 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 167 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,040 HE GASPS 168 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,200 Gentlemen... 169 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,960 ..start your engines. 170 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,280 BOTH LAUGH 171 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,760 Hello. 172 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:20,800 Hello. 173 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,960 TOMMY MOANS 174 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,960 Oh, yeah? 175 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,760 Oh... N...No... 176 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,000 Stop, stop, stop! 177 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,160 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 178 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,240 Just stop for a sec. 179 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,120 You're in agony. I'll be all right. Tommy, Tommy... Just give me a sec. 180 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,760 Just stop, it's not worth it. 181 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,800 I could... 182 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,200 I could finish you. 183 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,280 Let's leave it, shall we, for tonight? 184 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,600 I've got to be up early for school. All right. 185 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,920 This has to change. 186 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,280 We should be prepared to routinely ask our patients 187 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,720 about sexual function. 188 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,400 Managing sexual dysfunction is an integral part 189 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,360 of providing diabetes care. 190 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,280 But men kill themselves over this, 191 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,600 and the numbers are astonishing. 192 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:43,440 40% of diabetic men in their 40s suffer from some form of impotence. 193 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:49,560 This is the most neglected complication of diabetes 194 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:53,520 and we don't talk about it. Not ever. 195 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,960 Meanwhile, there are men out there, 196 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,920 so many men, suffering in silence. 197 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,920 Dr Pearce? This is... Eshaan. Eshaan Mallick. 198 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,640 Dylan. How do you do? 199 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,960 It's lovely to meet you. 200 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,120 Eshaan works at Pfizer. 201 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:16,000 I have something I think will be of interest to you. 202 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,880 And it's a pill? A single pill. 203 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:20,960 Eshaan. 204 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,480 If this is real, this is... 205 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,280 It's Kinsey, it's penicillin. 206 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,880 Let's not get carried away. 207 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,800 Until we start clinical trials, 208 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,720 nobody really knows what's going on. 209 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,640 I have to lead that trial. 210 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,200 It has to be me. 211 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,720 You need me, 212 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,920 my impotence clinics, my diabetes clinics, 213 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,560 all of my work published at the BMJ, 214 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,480 because I am telling you now, 215 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,720 I am promising you, 216 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:48,440 you won't find anyone who knows more about impotence than me. 217 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,680 That trial is mine. 218 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,840 This pill has to work. 219 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,400 TANNOY: Dr Matthews to reception, please. 220 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:02,040 There's a lady waiting. Thank you. Dr Matthews, please. 221 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,880 You haven't got five minutes, have you, doc? 222 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,880 Excuse me? 223 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,160 Er, a few of the boys, the other porters, 224 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,720 I overheard them talking about your line of work. 225 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,400 Something about a trial? 226 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,640 Come with me. 227 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,280 And you didn't have any issues achieving an erection 228 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,320 before your diabetes diagnosis? 229 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,840 None. 230 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,080 I only turned 40 last year. 231 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,760 Well, the good news is there are treatments available. 232 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,880 I've tried them. Nothing works. 233 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:36,800 Cos the therapist, she said... 234 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,400 What therapist? The one... 235 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,120 ..from the back of a girlie magazine. 236 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,640 Not mine, one of the boys in work. 237 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,040 Why don't I make an appointment 238 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,920 so we can talk all this through in more detail at my impotence clinic? 239 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,400 It's just, it's my anniversary coming up 240 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,840 and...my wife, Ffion, 241 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:03,560 she, she, she had breast cancer and she lost her... 242 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,600 She had a mastectomy? Double mastectomy. 243 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:11,360 And she thinks all of this is her fault and it's not. 244 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:15,400 Well, there is a trial, it's true. 245 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:19,640 It's a new drug that could potentially allow men like yourself 246 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:23,920 to achieve and sustain an erection by simply taking a pill. 247 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,000 A pill? 248 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,640 No injections, no implanting? 249 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,080 Just a pill. 250 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,240 We'll be recruiting men over the next few days. 251 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,040 I assume this is something you would be interested in? 252 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:40,960 A pill? 253 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,240 Come on, ladies, keep it up now. 254 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,680 MUSIC: Gonna Make You Sweat by C+C Music Factory 255 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:49,160 Keep going. Hands. Star jumps. 256 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,320 And up, up! 257 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,680 Higher! 258 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,040 Looking good. 259 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,080 Keep it up. 260 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,520 And step. Good. That's it. 261 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,040 One, two, that's it. High knees... 262 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,400 Oh, my God, are you actually kidding me? 263 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,400 Chomping on a Chomp? What? 264 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,160 My blood sugar. Thought I was going to pass out. 265 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,320 Blood sugar, my eye. 266 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,920 Moira, I'm diabetic. 267 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,080 It's a very serious condition. 268 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,400 All right, fine, fine. 269 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,960 I just fancied a Chomp, that's all. 270 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,480 I was sweating bullets in there. 271 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,840 I knew it. Come on, chuck one over. 272 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,800 Thanks. 273 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,840 Did I tell you we've got this new trial in work? 274 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,560 A clinical trial. 275 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,840 Sounds fascinating. 276 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:41,880 No, it is. 277 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,640 It's for diabetics. 278 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,640 Diabetic men who can't... 279 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,040 who can't get it up. 280 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,560 What's that got to do with me? 281 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,120 Oh, Tommy! Moira, I'm not having this conversation with you. 282 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,440 Just listen to me. 283 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,800 It's a pill. 284 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,200 No more injections. 285 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:12,240 Point is, they've picked us to run the trial at Morriston. 286 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,880 The trial's only really open to heterosexual men. 287 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,440 Well, what's new? Well, the ultimate goal, apparently, 288 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,080 is vaginal penetration. 289 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,480 Moira, I'm not having vaginal penetration! 290 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,440 That's not what I'm saying. 291 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,400 I know that you're not straight. 292 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,240 But they don't have to know that. 293 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,360 Do they? 294 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,760 Hey. Where are you off? 295 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,080 Picked up an early shift. 296 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,840 You didn't say anything. 297 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,360 Meurig. 298 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,520 Right. 299 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,560 Happy anniversary to you and all. 300 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,720 The porn's arrived. 301 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,840 Have you watched? How is it? Well, let's just say 302 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,480 that I'm looking forward to my next visit from the plumber 303 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,520 and leave it at that. 304 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,080 Where did you get it? 305 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,800 At Newport, that little sex shop just outside the city centre. 306 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:27,960 What did you say? 307 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,160 I said it was for science. 308 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,280 What did they say? 309 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,680 They said it was the best line they'd ever heard. 310 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,720 Ooh, and gave me a free tube of lube for my troubles. 311 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:36,840 HE LAUGHS 312 00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:01,280 The trial is open to diabetic men between the ages of 40 and 65. 313 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,440 It will run for around four weeks in total 314 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,680 and is completely confidential. 315 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,680 Here's an information sheet. 316 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,280 You can take it home with you, have a read. 317 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,640 Come back with any questions. 318 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,120 There'll be dirty videos to watch. 319 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,520 Where do I sign? 320 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,120 For the first stage, there will be two visits to the hospital 321 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:39,760 where you will be given either a placebo or the real thing 322 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,960 and hooked up to a strain gauge. 323 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,520 On your second visit, 324 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,120 if you received the placebo on your first, 325 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:49,840 then you'll get the real thing, and vice versa. 326 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,600 A strain...? Gauge. 327 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:55,920 It's a plastic hoop fitted around the shaft of the penis 328 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,080 and connected to a rigimetric device, 329 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,760 to measure the hardness of any erection. 330 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:01,960 Oh. 331 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,720 Doo-doo. 332 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,440 What a world! 333 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,840 For the second stage, we will be inviting you 334 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,840 to take some tablets home with you. To enjoy with your wife. 335 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,040 And you can take some tablets home with you. Oh. 336 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,640 To enjoy with your wife. 337 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,760 Thank you. 338 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,240 She'll be delighted. 339 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,040 Anything else? 340 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:39,720 That'll be £4.42. 341 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,360 Excuse me, love, where do you keep the johnnies? 342 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,520 SHE SOBS 343 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,760 Fi... I'm OK, I'm OK... 344 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,200 I, um... 345 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,120 ..I think Meurig's having an affair. 346 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,760 Please don't lie to me. 347 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,040 Fi, I wouldn't. Is he? No. 348 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,360 Why? 349 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,440 Just... He barely looks at me. 350 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,000 He hasn't touched me in God knows how long. 351 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,960 Nah, there's no way he's off shagging. 352 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,240 He knows he's punching. 353 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,280 We all do. 354 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,560 What's he said, then? 355 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:37,600 Nothing. 356 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,360 We hardly talk. 357 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:44,280 I mean, we talk, but not about anything. 358 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:47,600 It's me. 359 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,200 I'm not attractive to him any more. 360 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,680 No, bollocks. 361 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,760 And if he doesn't want you, I'll have you. 362 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,680 I would. I'd bloody run away with you right now. 363 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,880 Come on, let's go. 364 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,760 Hey. 365 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,120 Don't say anything. 366 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,800 If he is off shagging another woman... 367 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,840 ..I'm not sure I want to know. 368 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,200 Thank you. 369 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,200 All right? 370 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,280 I did your guttering last year. 371 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,560 That's right. 372 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,600 Park Avenue. 373 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:13,360 Must be... Yeah, yeah, definitely you. No. 374 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,240 Meurig Jenkins? Colin White? 375 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,480 Oh, here you go. 376 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,680 Follow me. Thanks. 377 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,720 We're not going in together, are we? 378 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,640 No, we've got a few clinical rooms. I was going to say, bit cosy. 379 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,200 Meurig, come with me. 380 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,680 Colin, you're with Marie. Right. 381 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,080 Best of luck. 382 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,640 Dr Pearce will be through in just a moment. 383 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:48,600 Some water for you there, and tissues if you need them. 384 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,000 We'll have the cleaner in after, so no need to hold back. 385 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,720 They'll give the walls a good wipe down, ceiling too. 386 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,520 Ceiling? If my Steve's anything to go by. 387 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,800 Ah, Meurig. Welcome, welcome. All right, doc? 388 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,600 If you could drop your trousers and pop yourself on the bed for us. 389 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,800 So... 390 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,680 ..there are two parts to this. 391 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:32,200 First, you'll fit the strain gauge yourself, 392 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,320 looping it over the penis like so. 393 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,680 Then you'll take the pill, wait 20 minutes, 394 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,600 and then press play on the video. 395 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:41,800 By the time we collect you, 396 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,480 you should be back to your natural state, so to speak, 397 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,040 though I promise to knock first. LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 398 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,240 If you'd like to drop your pants? 399 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,720 And secure the strain gauge. 400 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,960 How's that feeling? Good, I think. 401 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,080 May I...? 402 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,880 Should be nice and snug, but not too tight. 403 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,320 Most action I've had in years, this. 404 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,360 Sorry. I'm a bit nervous. 405 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,080 Understandable. 406 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:41,400 It's my anniversary tonight, so...this would be a welcome gift. 407 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,800 Everything crossed. Moira? 408 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,920 Do we know if this is the real thing or...? We don't. 409 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,320 It's a blind trial. 410 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,760 Oh, you mean now? Please. 411 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,000 Right. 412 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:19,680 Any problems, we'll be just outside. 413 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,480 CLOCK TICKS 414 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,640 WATCH TICKS 415 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,640 Travelled far? 416 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:42,680 Dinefwr. Oh. 417 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,600 What is it you do? 418 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,040 Accountant, for my sins. 419 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,200 You? 420 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,920 Oh, yeah, odd jobs. Construction, mainly, and guttering. 421 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,560 I think you're confusing me with someone else. 422 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,480 I get that a lot. 423 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,880 I swear it was you. Tommy Cadogan? Yes? 424 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,040 Edward O'Connor? 425 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,080 Aye. Peetham Shah? 426 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,440 If you've finished with the forms, we'll take you through now. 427 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,920 WOMAN ON TV: I haven't seen you here before, at the gym. 428 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:40,960 I'm the new trainer. 429 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,520 My name is Derek. 430 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,640 WOMAN ON TV: Don't stop! 431 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,280 ENTHUSIASTIC MOANING ON SCREEN 432 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,560 Oh, I love it! 433 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,840 MUSIC PLAYS 434 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,360 MAN ON TV: Yeah! 435 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,760 MAN ON TV: The first session is always complimentary, 436 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:04,880 but only if you... 437 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,000 SLEAZY MUSIC PLAYS 438 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,120 MOANING ON SCREEN 439 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,760 WOMAN: Oh, yeah. 440 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,560 Oh. Oh! 441 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,480 Communicating with one's member 442 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,240 engenders a sense of trust and confidence, 443 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,320 and you'll have to give him a name as well. 444 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,080 THERAPIST: Peter, Paul, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Carol... 445 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,240 Hello. 446 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,560 ..anything you like. 447 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:45,720 Can you hear me? 448 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,120 MOANING CONTINUES ON TV 449 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,480 Champ. 450 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,320 Hallelujah. 451 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,280 VIDEOTAPE EJECTS 452 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:13,160 MUSIC: Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah 453 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,080 CLOCK KEEPS TICKING 454 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,560 MUSIC: Hallelujah Chorus 455 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:44,200 All right? 456 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,800 All right? 457 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,640 How did it go? Good. 458 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,680 Fighting fit. 459 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,280 Got hard, did you? 460 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,680 Yeah. I was being subtle. 461 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,160 Me too, eh? Cheers to us. 462 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:00,840 Hey, we should celebrate. 463 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,080 Oh, no, I've got to get back... Oh, bollocks to that! 464 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,480 We'll have a cold one. Hey, boys. Fancy a pint? 465 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,600 Thanks, but I've got my bike and... We'd love a pint. Come on, then. 466 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:15,200 MUSIC: Parklife by Blur 467 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,600 # Confidence is a preference 468 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:37,840 # For the eventual voyeur of what is known as... Parklife! # 469 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,800 Hold on. Let me get this straight. 470 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,160 You just said you think you're in love with her. 471 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:43,480 But you've never met her? 472 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:44,920 Well, not in person. 473 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,240 What other way is there? 474 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,040 Well, we found each other in the Lonely Hearts column. 475 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,640 THEY LAUGH 476 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,640 I'm serious. 477 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,080 We've talked for hours on the phone. 478 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,240 I mean, there's been others, don't get me wrong. 479 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,240 Others? Phone pals. Oh, aye. 480 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,280 But no-one like Teresa. 481 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,960 Not since my Catherine passed away. 482 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,320 Oh, don't tell the doctor that. 483 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:06,640 How long were you married? 484 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,640 27 wonderful years. 485 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:14,400 Aye, she may have gone, but she'll always be with me, in here. 486 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,200 And this new piece of fluff? 487 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,400 Teresa, but I'm not sure I'd describe her quite like that. 488 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,760 Well, you listen to me now. 489 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,800 You want to pull your finger out your arsehole 490 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,600 and get over there and tell that Teresa to her face 491 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:27,960 how you feel about her. 492 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,040 Oh, I couldn't. 493 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,760 What if she wanted more? 494 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,280 You know, more than a bit of dirty talk? 495 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,400 Well, what with my - our - condition... 496 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,240 ..you know, what would I say? What would I do? 497 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,640 I tried one of those pumps once, but it left me black and blue. 498 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,480 Hey, it's all changed now with this new pill, anyway. 499 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:48,680 Men again, huh? 500 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,160 My Seren's counting down the hours until I bring them tablets home. 501 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:54,520 HE LAUGHS 502 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,240 Hey, it'll be like the last days in Rome in Skewen. 503 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,320 I'm not sure I'd even know where to start, 504 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,160 it's been so long. Hey, I'll draw you a picture. 505 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,000 Yeah, Eddie's right. 506 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,640 The world's our oyster. 507 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,080 Hey, I'm surprised by you, that you're afflicted. 508 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,000 Why's that, then? 509 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,480 Well, you don't expect it of somebody who drives a Mercedes. 510 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,040 THEY LAUGH 511 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,720 What have I said now? What haven't you said? 512 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,560 I can't believe we're talking about all this. 513 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:21,680 About what? 514 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,760 This, us, knobs. 515 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,120 Because we're always thinking about it, aren't we? 516 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,240 Just...never say it out loud, 517 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:32,520 wouldn't dream of it. 518 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,800 And yet, you know, here we are. 519 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,040 It's nice, though, isn't it? 520 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,160 To have a chat. 521 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,160 Hey, cheers, lads. 522 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,800 Cheers. 523 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,280 All right, boys, that's me. 524 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,520 Hey, sit down. You're having another one. 525 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,760 20 minutes, no, really, really, I got to go. 526 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,760 It's my anniversary. 527 00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:00,840 And you, Casanova, you should go for it. 528 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:04,640 Right. Ta-ra, boys. 529 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:05,960 Aye. Ta-ra. 530 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,600 BARMAN: Yes, sir, what can I get you? Same again, please. 531 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,720 PHONE RINGS 532 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,720 WOMAN: Hello? 533 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,120 Hello, Teresa. 534 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,440 Yeah, it's me. Who's me? Colin. 535 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,680 FLATLY: Oh, Colin. 536 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,600 Yeah. Um... 537 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:30,360 I wanted to say... I've been a right twat. 538 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:31,960 Can't argue with you there. 539 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:38,640 I'm phoning to ask... To tell you that...we should meet. 540 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,520 I see. 541 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,600 Where is it you're taking me, then? 542 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,480 What are we doing here? 7.30, you said the table was booked for. 543 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:51,800 Yes, I won't be a minute now. 544 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,160 I just have to run in and get those boots. 545 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,040 They'll still be here next week. 546 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,040 Pete was upset. 547 00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,120 And we're here now. 548 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,160 All right. 549 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,240 Let's go in for a drink. 550 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:06,320 Ffion! 551 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,840 What? Got time for a quick half. 552 00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:11,280 Come on. 553 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,280 Right, you go in. 554 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,400 Where is everyone? Don't know. 555 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,600 Ffion? 556 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,760 Open the door. 557 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,440 ALL: Surprise! 558 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,280 Happy anniversary. 559 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,080 BOY: It was a surprise! Well done! 560 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,400 Oh, where the hell have you been? 561 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,680 I've been worried sick. 562 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:27,760 Went for a walk. 563 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,200 Well, I've been home hours. 564 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,160 You could have left a note. 565 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,240 Well? How'd it go? 566 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,040 No. 567 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:45,800 Maybe on the next visit. 568 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,960 There's no way I'm going back. 569 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,360 You know they made me watch straight porn? 570 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,480 Oh. Remember last year, we had the gutters done 571 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:59,240 by that man who just never shut up? Well, he was there on the trial. 572 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:03,000 And if he remembers me, he'll remember you. 573 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,240 What did Moira say? 574 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,280 Nothing. 575 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,560 Doesn't matter anyway, I'm not going back. 576 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:11,640 I'm done. 577 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:14,800 OK. If that's what you want. 578 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:15,840 Yeah, it is. 579 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,560 And... 580 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:20,960 ..I've been thinking. 581 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:24,680 You should, you know... 582 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:27,800 ..take a lover. 583 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,200 Oh. Take a lover? 584 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:36,880 I wouldn't want to know the details, obviously, but I understand. 585 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:42,680 So what I'm saying is, I'm giving you, er, permission. 586 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,080 That's nice of you. 587 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,120 Well, there's that Scottish lad who works at the petrol station. 588 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,560 Or Eduardo from work. I'm being serious. 589 00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,560 Oh, so am I. I'll have them both. 590 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,520 Oh, Rhys! This isn't a joke. 591 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,720 Tommy, you've got to stop getting yourself so worked up. 592 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:01,600 It's not like we can't do other stuff, is it? You tell me. 593 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:02,720 Oh, not this again, right? 594 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:04,880 I am not going to keep apologising to you 595 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,880 for having a wank in the shower. 596 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,480 People wank. Men wank. That's.. I don't. 597 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,080 I don't want to fight with you. 598 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,080 I don't want to fight with you. 599 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,960 You should go back for the next visit. No. 600 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:31,320 Not for me. 601 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:33,520 For you. 602 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,280 MUSIC: Step On by Happy Mondays 603 00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:04,440 Oh, my God, do you remember? 604 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:05,680 INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION 605 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,920 Just give me a second, yeah? I'll be back in a minute. 606 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,520 What do you reckon? 607 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:33,680 Her name's Cara. She's 32 and she goes like the clappers. 608 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,160 I can barely keep up. 609 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,760 Oh, it's filth, mate. 610 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:39,640 Seems nice. 611 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,120 You all right? 612 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:42,760 Fine. 613 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:47,080 How's everything, you know, at home? 614 00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:50,640 What? 615 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,720 Well, nothing. It's... 616 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:55,160 Just something Ffion said. 617 00:38:58,400 --> 00:38:59,960 Nothing bad...I think. 618 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,480 Well, I don't know. 619 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,920 She was just a bit upset, that's all. 620 00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:06,160 Upset about what? 621 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,960 Why's she talking to you about it? 622 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,640 Meurig, it's not a big deal, man. 623 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,000 Sounds like it is. What's she said? 624 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,560 FFION ON MICROPHONE: Can I have a bit of hush, please? 625 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,880 Tell me what she said! Hello? Hiya. 626 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:21,440 Thank you, diolch. 627 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:25,440 So, 15 years ago, I married the love of my life. 628 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:26,920 ALL: Aw! 629 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,080 Now, I know a lot of you already know 630 00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,520 that the last few years, they haven't been easy for us. 631 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,720 Bollocks to cancer, that's all I have to say about that. 632 00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:41,440 And a lot of you will know that Meurig turned 40 last year, 633 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,880 and we weren't able to celebrate because of everything going on. 634 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:49,880 So I wanted to get everyone together for a big piss-up, yes? 635 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,680 ALL CHEER 636 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:56,640 But also, well, to say thank you to Meurig. 637 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,640 My husband, my school sweetheart. 638 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:00,800 SOMEONE WOLF-WHISTLES 639 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,520 For everything. 640 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:05,960 Aww. 641 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:07,960 That's lovely, isn't it? 642 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,200 I love you. 643 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:13,840 Aww! 644 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,080 OK. 645 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,760 Right, let's get pissed, shall we? 646 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,320 CHEERING 647 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:29,360 Thank you. Cheers. 648 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:33,320 MUSIC: I'm Coming Home by Tom Jones 649 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:34,680 Come on. 650 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:35,960 It's our song. 651 00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:39,600 Don't show me up. 652 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,560 Just hold me. 653 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:47,920 Just hold me. 654 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,000 What did you say to Leigh, then? 655 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,360 He reckons you were upset. 656 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,280 I told him I thought you were cheating on me. 657 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:22,440 What? 658 00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,640 Are you? Having an affair? 659 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,000 What sort of question is that? Or is it me? 660 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:29,240 Because if it is... 661 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,080 ..I get it. 662 00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:34,120 I really do. 663 00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:37,200 You stayed because I was sick, 664 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,480 because what kind of man would you have been 665 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,040 to have walked out? 666 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,240 Now I'm not. 667 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:48,560 So you can go, if that's what you want. 668 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,480 You've lost the plot. Meurig... You have. 669 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,280 ..you can barely look at me, let alone touch me. 670 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,520 Huh? 671 00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:59,200 What's happening to us? 672 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:04,240 Oh! 673 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,600 I think you should stay at your mum's for a bit. 674 00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,920 What's that supposed to mean? 675 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,880 I think you've fallen out of love with me. 676 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,200 No. 677 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,640 I think we're over. We are not over. Can you just go? 678 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:28,880 Please. 679 00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:31,920 Just... Just go. 680 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,480 It's not you. 681 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,480 SHE SIGHS 682 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,400 I can't... 683 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,720 Can't what? What can't you do, Meurig?! 684 00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:44,000 I can't have sex. Because of me? 685 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,560 Because I'm impotent. 686 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,840 What did you just say? 687 00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,440 Since the diabetes... 688 00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,920 What's the diabetes got to do with anything? 689 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:02,560 They think it's linked with vessels or nerve damage or something... 690 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,600 Who thinks this? The doctor! 691 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,680 Jesus, Ffion, I'm trying to tell you. 692 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,920 You're impotent? 693 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,320 Wait, hang on. 694 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:18,200 You let me think it was me for all this time? 695 00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:24,360 I asked and I asked you and I begged you to tell me what was wrong, 696 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:25,480 and you said nothing. 697 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,200 I know. Have you got any idea 698 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,800 of the crap that's been going round my head 699 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,120 for the last 18 months?! 700 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:33,920 Is he... 701 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,160 Is he bored of me? 702 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:40,280 Should I try a new technique? Like, buy sexier underwear? 703 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,720 And the whole time, you knew! 704 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,160 Oh, my God. 705 00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:49,560 You knew! 706 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,000 What was I supposed to say? 707 00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:59,120 I was ashamed. 708 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,000 This isn't meant to happen to men my age. 709 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,520 I didn't know what to do. 710 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:14,520 I didn't know what to do. 711 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:05,320 Look at us. 712 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,560 No tits, no cock. 713 00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:14,120 I used to love sex. 714 00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:17,560 Shagging you. 715 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:20,120 In the beginning. 716 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:26,480 Then you wake up one day and it's two kids and a mortgage 717 00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:30,800 and a job and a life... A big, full life, 718 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:34,840 and it all becomes routine. 719 00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:37,640 Just something you do. 720 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,200 And why didn't you say something? 721 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:44,320 If that's how you felt? 722 00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:47,160 Because that's...that's what I've missed. 723 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:53,240 The routine sex, the scheduled sex, 724 00:45:53,240 --> 00:45:57,160 the...the Saturday morning sex with my husband. 725 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,920 Just lying there with you. 726 00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,160 You, Meurig. 727 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:10,760 I've missed YOU. 728 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:15,880 I'm right here. 729 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,200 Yeah, but you haven't been, have you? 730 00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:20,960 Not really. 731 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:24,280 Not for a long while now. 732 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:30,760 That's all going to change. 733 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:31,800 Oh, right? 734 00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:39,280 I'm on a trial, a clinical trial at the hospital, for a pill. What? 735 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,600 It's a new drug... What? ..to treat... What are you talking about? 736 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,320 It's a clinical trial. 737 00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,800 What? A clinical trial? Yeah. 738 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:53,000 Are you ser...? How have you kept all this from me, huh? 739 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:54,320 I'm meant to be your wife. 740 00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,040 I didn't want to tell you until I knew it was going to work. 741 00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:58,360 I didn't want to worry you. 742 00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,920 What?! I've had one dose, and nothing. 743 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,640 But it could have been a placebo. 744 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,200 And next time, hopefully, it's the real thing. 745 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:11,520 And if it works, it's going to make everything normal again. 746 00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,200 It's going to make everything better. 747 00:47:19,240 --> 00:47:20,280 Ffion... 748 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:25,480 ..please talk to me. 749 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:28,920 What are you thinking? 750 00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:34,320 I'm thinking, God... 751 00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,400 ..I want you inside me. 752 00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:52,920 HE CHUCKLES QUIETLY 753 00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,320 He hath risen! 754 00:47:57,760 --> 00:47:59,480 FOOTSTEPS APPROACH 755 00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:00,520 Peet. 756 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:04,320 Are you drunk? 757 00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:05,680 Blasted blotto, I am. 758 00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:07,760 Bloody hell, where've you been? 759 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:12,040 With the boozer, down the... With the boys down the boozer. 760 00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:13,360 HE LAUGHS 761 00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,280 Right. 762 00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,240 I haven't had friends since school. 763 00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:20,440 Did you drive? No, I got a taxi. 764 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:21,480 Come here. 765 00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:25,080 Oh, God, you stink. 766 00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:26,880 I love you, darling. 767 00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:30,440 OK, that's nice. I love you too. Now let's get you to bed. Nooo... 768 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,040 Listen to me, Alys. 769 00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:33,760 It worked. 770 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:36,560 It really worked. 771 00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,280 It's going to be OK now, me and you. 772 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,360 We're going to be OK. 773 00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:00,200 How's that feeling? 774 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:01,240 Good. Not too tight. 775 00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:05,080 Let's hope this is the one. 776 00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:08,480 Best of luck. 777 00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,200 CLOCK TICKS 778 00:49:27,720 --> 00:49:30,240 MUSIC: Moving On Up by M People 779 00:49:32,240 --> 00:49:35,040 # Just who do you think you are? 780 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:37,520 # Take it like a man, baby 781 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,680 # If that's what you are 782 00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:40,960 # Cos I'm movin' on up 783 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:42,720 # You're movin' on out 784 00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:44,720 # Movin' on up 785 00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:47,000 # Nothing can stop me 786 00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,560 # Movin' on up... # 787 00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:50,680 Oh, yeah! 788 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,680 # Movin' on up 789 00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,720 # Nothing can stop me 790 00:49:54,720 --> 00:49:56,120 # Movin' on up 791 00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,080 # You're movin' on out 792 00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,000 # Time to break free 793 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,240 # Nothing can stop me 794 00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,720 # Movin' on up, movin' on up, movin' on up 795 00:50:16,720 --> 00:50:20,920 # Movin' on up, movin' on up, movin' on up 796 00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:22,960 # Movin' on up 797 00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,280 # You're movin' on out 798 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:26,920 # Movin' on up 799 00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,080 # Nothing can stop me 800 00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:30,120 # Movin' on up 801 00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:32,920 # You're movin' on out 802 00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:34,680 # Time to break free 803 00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,480 # Nothing can stop me 804 00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:38,240 # Movin' 805 00:50:38,240 --> 00:50:39,760 # Movin' 806 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,160 # Time to break free 807 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,680 # Nothing can stop me. # 808 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,080 SHE SWITCHES VACUUM CLEANER OFF 809 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,320 What's the matter? 810 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:53,480 You look weird. 811 00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:56,640 It works. 812 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:57,880 Get off? 813 00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:02,640 For the final stage of the trial, 814 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,640 we'll be sending you home with a number of tablets 815 00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,080 and we'll be asking you to keep a diary 816 00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:11,080 to record your sexual experiences. 817 00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:12,880 I'm no Dylan Thomas, doc. 818 00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:14,480 It's a tick-box diary. 819 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:16,840 Very simple. 820 00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:20,720 One a day. No more, no less. 821 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,680 No placebos this time. 822 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,120 Just the real thing. 823 00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:31,480 Thank you. 824 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:40,520 You're like Father Christmas, you are. 825 00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:45,000 Diary! 826 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:47,280 Thank you. 827 00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:48,480 Before we give you any pills, 828 00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,560 we just want to double-check some of our data with you. 829 00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,960 On your first visit, you told us that you achieved an erection. 830 00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,960 Yeah, that's right. 831 00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,080 Miracle, it was. 832 00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:02,720 Then this morning, you took the second and final hospital dose, 833 00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:04,120 which also... Stiff as a board. 834 00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:11,480 This is a printout of the radiometric data from both sessions. 835 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:16,400 The stress analysis shows that, in fact, 836 00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:20,400 you did not achieve an erection on either day. 837 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:21,760 Well, it's wrong. 838 00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:24,440 With all clinical trials, 839 00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:26,560 it's really important that patients are honest. 840 00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:27,600 I was honest. 841 00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,200 This isn't easy. 842 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,400 I get that. 843 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:35,600 But the truth is that not 100% of medicines are effective 844 00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,280 for 100% of people, 100% of the time. 845 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:51,080 Eddie? 846 00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,680 Three meetings, they called this week. 847 00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,080 Oh, and then Carla starts running her gums... 848 00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,440 Oh, Carla doesn't know her arse from her elbow. 849 00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:04,960 I know that, but she's deputy head, 850 00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,720 so I've got to sit there and pretend I'm listening, and then... 851 00:53:07,720 --> 00:53:10,600 Look, I was back up at the hospital today. What, for the trial? 852 00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:14,080 I didn't want to say anything in case it didn't work. Did it work? 853 00:53:15,720 --> 00:53:18,040 Yes. Tommy, bloody hell, why didn't you say? 854 00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,320 There's me banging on about Carla. How was it? 855 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:22,760 How do you feel? I don't know. 856 00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,880 They gave me some of the tablets to use at home. 857 00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,320 Are you joking? No. 858 00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,080 Well, where are they now? At the house. 859 00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:33,280 Then what are we doing here? Rhys, Rhys, Rhys, wait a minute. 860 00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,360 I thought maybe we could, you know, make a night of it. 861 00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:38,360 Go out and have a nice meal, like a proper date. 862 00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,240 Oh, what, do you want to wear white on your wedding day and all? 863 00:53:41,240 --> 00:53:44,360 I think that ship sailed a very long time ago. 864 00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:45,840 Well, come on, we'll go out. 865 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,480 We'll go to Vivaldi's. 866 00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,880 And then I can take advantage of you. 867 00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,040 RHYS LAUGHS 868 00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:53,440 Hello. Hello. All right? 869 00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,480 Hello. 870 00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:58,480 Peet? In here, love. 871 00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,280 What's all this? Presents for you. 872 00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:13,120 And an apology from me for being... 873 00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,600 Well, you know, but that was before. 874 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,960 Things are going to be different now. 875 00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:19,000 Go on, open them. 876 00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:21,840 Don't look so scared. 877 00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:27,480 They're business cards. 878 00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:28,680 And if you turn them over, 879 00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,920 there's a little picture of a dildo on the back. 880 00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:33,400 Very funny. 881 00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:36,360 Do you like them? Yeah, I love them. They're fab. 882 00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,880 Thank you. Don't forget that one. 883 00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:45,600 PILLS RATTLE 884 00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:46,880 What's this? 885 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,040 Oh. No placebos. 886 00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:53,080 Just the real thing. 887 00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:54,680 That's what they said. 888 00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:01,480 I thought you'd be pleased. No, I am. I am. Yeah, that's great. 889 00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,120 Do you want to..? 890 00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,000 I've got to put the shopping away. 891 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,880 Tonight, then. 892 00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:10,720 We'll have a nice dinner before, is it? 893 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:13,120 Yeah. Yeah, OK. 894 00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,160 HE BREATHES DEEPLY 895 00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,560 ENGINE STARTS 896 00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:06,480 HE COUGHS 897 00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,240 HE COUGHS AGAIN 898 00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:23,960 HE SPLUTTERS 899 00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:27,280 Eddie? 900 00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:40,960 The nurse said she couldn't tell me anything, patient confidentiality. 901 00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:43,920 But I'm glad I came because whatever's going on, 902 00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:45,600 this is not the answer. 903 00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:49,240 Didn't work. 904 00:56:50,240 --> 00:56:52,160 Clearly. No, the tablets. 905 00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,040 They didn't work. Nothing has. 906 00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,960 But you said... I know what I said. 907 00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,120 I've been lying through my teeth. 908 00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:05,560 This is the first time you've done anything like this? 909 00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:06,600 Yes. 910 00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:13,360 What was going through your bloody head? 911 00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:14,400 I just... 912 00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:17,880 I just... 913 00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:22,320 I don't know how I'll ever look the boys in the eye again, 914 00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,920 anyone in the eye, knowing what I am. 915 00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:28,760 I'm a weak man. 916 00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:32,000 Half a man. 917 00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:35,720 You know, I was lying there watching that porn 918 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:37,320 and those men pumping away, 919 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:38,840 not a bloody worry in the world. 920 00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:41,640 And I can't do that, can I? 921 00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:43,920 I can't compete with that. 922 00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,080 And I just felt... 923 00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,560 I felt so, um... 924 00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,320 Inadequate. Yeah. 925 00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:55,360 It's not just me, though, is it? 926 00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,120 You know, I promised her that this was going to work. 927 00:57:58,120 --> 00:57:59,720 It was going to fix me, finally. 928 00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:03,240 But all I'm doing is letting her down again and again and again. 929 00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,120 Do you love her? Of course I do. 930 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:08,120 And does she love you? 931 00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,840 Yeah. 932 00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,080 "Why can't you just pee out of it and be happy?" 933 00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:14,480 That's what she said to me when this all started. 934 00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,200 Well, there you are, then. 935 00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:17,680 Yeah, if you believe that. 936 00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:22,480 I met Catrin when I was 19. 937 00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:27,520 We were married at 21, and I was impotent by the age of 39. 938 00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:29,400 What do they say - life begins at 40? 939 00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:31,280 Well, I thought mine was over. 940 00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,280 My marriage, my life, everything. 941 00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:34,680 But it wasn't true. 942 00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:41,760 And those years we had together, after... 943 00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:44,320 They were the best we ever had. 944 00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,000 And then she died. 945 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,360 She was taken away. 946 00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:53,360 And I would have given anything, anything... 947 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,000 ..to have had more time with her. 948 00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,520 Well, you've got that time. 949 00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:01,920 Don't go throwing it away now over this, 950 00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:03,400 because I'm telling you, 951 00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,600 I know for a fact, you haven't got to. 952 00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:09,960 So what do I do? 953 00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:11,440 Go back. 954 00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:13,360 Finish the trial. 955 00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:15,760 If the tablets work at all, great. 956 00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:18,440 If not, que sera, sera. 957 00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,480 Or, as my lovely mother would put it, fuck 'em all. 958 00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:22,520 HE LAUGHS 959 00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:27,640 Here. 960 00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:28,680 Ta. 961 00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:42,400 MOANING 962 00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:47,800 Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. 963 00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,160 Hey, over that way a bit. 964 01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:08,240 No, no, no. 965 01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,840 I've got to get ready for work, that's all. 966 01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:12,960 I just need to do this. 967 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:46,000 Why didn't you tell me all this before? 968 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,680 I'm meant to be your best mate. 969 01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:49,760 It's not something you want to shout about, is it? 970 01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:54,000 So these pills, they do the trick? 971 01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:57,640 But? 972 01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:00,000 MEURIG SIGHS 973 01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:00,000 Oh, I don't know. 974 01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:04,640 I thought that getting it up again would solve everything, 975 01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:09,760 that me and Ffi, we'd go back to like it was before all this, 976 01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:11,440 before she got sick. 977 01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:21,080 It feels like I was failing her before when I couldn't... 978 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:25,480 And now I can, I'm failing her all over again. 979 01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:30,960 What would you do if you were me? 980 01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:32,520 I don't know, mate. Please! 981 01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,000 Lee, if I don't fix this, 982 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,560 I'm going to lose her. 983 01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:38,680 Bloody hell, mate, what would I know? 984 01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:40,200 What did you do before? 985 01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:42,000 You know, before all this. 986 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,640 I don't know, go out... 987 01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:46,520 ..on a date. 988 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,160 I'd cook her a curry. 989 01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:49,560 We'd have a laugh. 990 01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:51,000 Well, do that, then. Have a laugh. 991 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,320 Stop trying to have sex. 992 01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:55,320 Sod that. 993 01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:57,120 And for God sakes talk to her. 994 01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:58,760 That's what I'd do. 995 01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,120 I'd talk to her. 996 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:01,760 And I'd listen. 997 01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,160 I'd listen to every word that ever came out of her mouth 998 01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,800 and I'd never get bored of it. 999 01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:10,000 How long have you been in love with her? 1000 01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:16,400 It's not me she wants. 1001 01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:17,560 It's you. 1002 01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:19,320 So don't piss it all up the wall now. 1003 01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:22,520 Come on. 1004 01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:43,320 KNOCK AT DOOR 1005 01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:46,600 HE SIGHS 1006 01:02:48,920 --> 01:02:50,000 Oh... 1007 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:52,960 Hang on a sec. Sorry! 1008 01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:57,400 Ah. Sticky door. 1009 01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:59,480 Hello, Colin. 1010 01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:00,640 Teresa. 1011 01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:03,600 Come in. 1012 01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:10,200 Mm! 1013 01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:24,720 It is funny, innit, how we can talk for hours 1014 01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:27,840 on the phone and here we are, 1015 01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:29,880 not sure what to say to each other. 1016 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,120 It's been a long time since I entertained. 1017 01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:34,400 Entertained? 1018 01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:37,040 I hoped we were courting. 1019 01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:40,280 I thought you'd take one look at me and run a mile. 1020 01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:41,520 You're handsome. 1021 01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:45,120 Strapping. 1022 01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:46,440 You too. 1023 01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,920 Oh, I mean, not strapping... 1024 01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,320 ..like a bloke. 1025 01:03:56,680 --> 01:03:57,760 Lithe. 1026 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:00,920 Like a... 1027 01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:02,280 A woman. 1028 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:07,920 Why don't we get the dishes out the way and get down to it? 1029 01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:09,120 Down to it? 1030 01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:11,840 Dive straight in. 1031 01:04:22,880 --> 01:04:25,520 21 across. 1032 01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:26,880 Painting. 1033 01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,240 Oh, which would make five down... 1034 01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:31,720 BOTH: Gammon. 1035 01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:33,520 SHE GIGGLES 1036 01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:34,880 A, M... 1037 01:04:35,960 --> 01:04:37,480 RECORD PLAYS 1038 01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,320 I love this one. 1039 01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:48,080 # Once upon a time there was a tavern 1040 01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:51,400 # Where we used to raise a glass... # 1041 01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:53,720 Come on. Dance with me. 1042 01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,760 Get off, don't be daft! 1043 01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:57,200 Come on. 1044 01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:59,120 Are we courting or what? 1045 01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:05,040 # Think of all the great things we would do... # 1046 01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:08,600 That's it. 1047 01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:10,280 # Those were... 1048 01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:12,400 And round. # ..the days, my friend 1049 01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:15,080 # We thought they'd never end 1050 01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:19,200 # We'd sing and dance forever and a day... # 1051 01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:23,440 Oh, hello. 1052 01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:26,840 Oh, Colin. 1053 01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,840 You're... 1054 01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:30,400 BOTH: Tumescent. 1055 01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:35,240 THEY GROAN 1056 01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:38,080 TERESA LAUGHS 1057 01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:41,120 Oh! 1058 01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:45,000 I'm all out of puff. 1059 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:46,440 You're not the only one! 1060 01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:51,160 Hey! 1061 01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:53,480 Hey, what's the matter? 1062 01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:54,800 Or was it me? 1063 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,240 Was I terrible? 1064 01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:57,760 No! 1065 01:05:57,760 --> 01:05:59,600 You... You were perfect. 1066 01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:03,280 It was perfect. 1067 01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:05,960 It's nothing. 1068 01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:08,080 Well, it's obviously something. 1069 01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:14,400 After Catrin, I... 1070 01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,760 I thought that was it. I thought... 1071 01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:19,400 I thought I'd be alone forever. 1072 01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,200 But it doesn't have to be like that, does it? 1073 01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:26,080 No, it doesn't have to be. 1074 01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:29,280 I mean, I miss John. 1075 01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:31,040 I still do. 1076 01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:32,480 I miss him dearly. 1077 01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:36,000 But he would want me to be happy. 1078 01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:40,000 And that is how I feel right now with you. 1079 01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:42,560 Happy. 1080 01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:50,240 Well, it wasn't in here... 1081 01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:53,280 For his 40th. We sat over there. You had the carbonara. 1082 01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:55,920 I didn't. Hello, Tommy! 1083 01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:58,440 All right... Evening. 1084 01:06:58,440 --> 01:06:59,800 Usual table, Tommy? 1085 01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:01,440 Yeah, usual table. Thank you. 1086 01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,040 The night Tracy fell into a bush? 1087 01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:04,800 No, that was New Year's Eve. 1088 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:08,080 Hello, Tommy. 1089 01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:09,640 Hello. 1090 01:07:09,640 --> 01:07:11,280 Well, I'll do the intros, shall I? 1091 01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:12,880 I'm Rhys. Dylan. 1092 01:07:12,880 --> 01:07:14,280 Well, nice to meet you, Dylan. 1093 01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:15,800 Nice to meet you. 1094 01:07:15,800 --> 01:07:17,240 Well... 1095 01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:18,320 Have a good night. 1096 01:07:18,320 --> 01:07:19,360 Yeah. 1097 01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:24,040 Who's that, then? 1098 01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:41,960 DOOR CLOSES 1099 01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:49,040 What's all this? 1100 01:07:49,040 --> 01:07:51,040 Making a curry. 1101 01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:53,080 Smells all right. 1102 01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:54,640 Not sure how it tastes, mind. 1103 01:07:57,880 --> 01:07:59,160 Where are the kids? 1104 01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:01,400 At your mam's. They're staying over. 1105 01:08:03,480 --> 01:08:05,600 What? They've got school tomorrow. 1106 01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:07,840 They're all packed and ready to go. 1107 01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:09,520 She'll drop them off in the morning. 1108 01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:18,800 I thought we could have a night together. 1109 01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:20,200 Why? 1110 01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:21,800 Why not? 1111 01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:23,520 It's what we used to do. 1112 01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:28,360 I've been to Blockbuster and everything. Erm... 1113 01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:30,320 Jurassic Park. 1114 01:08:30,320 --> 01:08:32,240 It was either that or Schindler's List, 1115 01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:35,000 but apparently it's a bit of a downer. 1116 01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:36,840 There's some cans in the fridge. 1117 01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,560 You want one? 1118 01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:42,040 I'm all right for the minute. 1119 01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:44,320 Yeah, me too. I'm all right. 1120 01:08:50,920 --> 01:08:52,920 Do you want me to get the plates out? 1121 01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:54,600 Yeah, if you like. 1122 01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:56,040 OK. 1123 01:09:00,520 --> 01:09:02,800 ROARING ON TV 1124 01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:04,560 SOUNDTRACK CUTS OUT 1125 01:09:07,520 --> 01:09:10,280 Oh, I think it's chewed the bloody tape. 1126 01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:14,000 Oh, my God. 1127 01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:15,960 It has and all. 1128 01:09:15,960 --> 01:09:18,760 It's... It's chewed the whole thing! 1129 01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:22,880 Ffion, we'll get fined for this. FFION LAUGHS 1130 01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:25,920 My name'll be mud down that Blockbuster now. 1131 01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:31,040 Are you serious?! 1132 01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:35,960 Right. LAUGHING: What? 1133 01:09:35,960 --> 01:09:37,680 You think it's funny, do you? 1134 01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:38,840 Eh? 1135 01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:40,560 Oh, my God, no, no, no! 1136 01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:42,040 Stop! I'll get you! 1137 01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:44,600 I'll get you... 1138 01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:44,600 THEY LAUGH 1139 01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:55,600 Mm... 1140 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,080 Where are they, the pills? 1141 01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:05,320 In the bathroom. Go and get them. 1142 01:10:05,320 --> 01:10:06,520 Go on. 1143 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:12,320 QUIET GASPING 1144 01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:30,400 Is that OK? 1145 01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:36,200 SHE MOANS 1146 01:10:39,160 --> 01:10:41,920 BREATHLESS: I'm going to...take... 1147 01:10:48,280 --> 01:10:50,320 Is it...? 1148 01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:52,000 Is it OK? 1149 01:10:57,080 --> 01:11:00,200 SHE MOANS 1150 01:11:03,480 --> 01:11:05,200 You're so beautiful. 1151 01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:14,320 SHE GASPS, MOANS 1152 01:11:16,920 --> 01:11:19,440 I love you so much. 1153 01:11:19,440 --> 01:11:21,400 I love you. 1154 01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:28,280 SHE GASPS, MOANS 1155 01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:36,880 CAN SPRAYS 1156 01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:38,560 You ready, then? 1157 01:11:38,560 --> 01:11:39,880 HE EXHALES 1158 01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:46,320 Carpe diem, Peetham Shah. 1159 01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:35,880 Oh! OK. 1160 01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:39,560 No... Sorry. 1161 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:50,120 HE MOANS QUIETLY 1162 01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:58,000 HE GRUNTS, GASPS 1163 01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:00,040 HE MOANS QUIETLY 1164 01:13:00,040 --> 01:13:02,400 BOTH GASP 1165 01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:06,560 Oh, Peet. Mm-hm? Peet, stop. Oh! HE GRUNTS 1166 01:13:06,560 --> 01:13:08,200 What's...what's...what's wrong? 1167 01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:10,520 I don't want to. 1168 01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:12,360 I thought I could, but I can't. 1169 01:13:12,360 --> 01:13:15,000 Oh, did it hurt? No. 1170 01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:16,320 What is it, then? 1171 01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:19,360 It's because I don't love you any more. 1172 01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:21,480 SHE BREATHES HEAVILY 1173 01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:31,080 No. I'm not having this. 1174 01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:32,400 We've been married 18 years. 1175 01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:35,520 We've got a house, a mortgage. We're going to Torremolinos in July. 1176 01:13:35,520 --> 01:13:38,120 It's already paid for. You should have said something sooner. 1177 01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:39,880 Is there...? Is there someone else? No. 1178 01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:42,080 It's just that I'm that repulsive to you?! 1179 01:13:42,080 --> 01:13:45,400 You're not repulsive, Peet. You're not. We... 1180 01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:48,720 It's like we've become more friends. We're not friends! 1181 01:13:48,720 --> 01:13:51,280 Alys, we're married! You're my wife. 1182 01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:54,160 This is those parties, this is. 1183 01:13:54,160 --> 01:13:56,440 You haven't been the same since you started all of that, 1184 01:13:56,440 --> 01:13:58,920 rubbing it in my face... Oh, my God! ..embarrassing me! Look! 1185 01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:00,760 Those parties have got nothing to do with you! 1186 01:14:00,760 --> 01:14:03,200 And I'm not divorcing you because I hosted one Ann Summers party! 1187 01:14:03,200 --> 01:14:04,680 What did you say?! 1188 01:14:04,680 --> 01:14:06,400 You're divorcing me?! 1189 01:14:07,720 --> 01:14:09,040 Yes. 1190 01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:11,520 I'm sorry. 1191 01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:14,280 Uh... Uh... 1192 01:14:19,560 --> 01:14:21,680 Friends. Friends! 1193 01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:25,240 God's sake! 1194 01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:27,760 Absolutely unbelievable. 1195 01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:31,520 "Just want to be friends." 1196 01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:32,800 Friends! 1197 01:14:34,360 --> 01:14:35,760 HE SCOFFS 1198 01:14:50,040 --> 01:14:52,160 CAR HORN HONKS 1199 01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:57,240 HORNS HONK 1200 01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:02,080 HORN HONKS 1201 01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:06,920 CAR HORNS BLARE 1202 01:15:08,280 --> 01:15:10,960 What?! What do you want?! 1203 01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:16,000 INDISTINCT YELLING 1204 01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:19,680 CAR HORN BLARES 1205 01:15:19,680 --> 01:15:21,800 SIREN CHIRPS 1206 01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:23,640 Stop where you are! 1207 01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:25,320 I didn't... I didn't... Calm down! 1208 01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:27,800 I don't know what... I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so sorry. 1209 01:15:27,800 --> 01:15:29,360 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1210 01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:31,240 POLICE RADIO CHATTER 1211 01:15:31,240 --> 01:15:33,800 SEAGULLS CRY 1212 01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:38,280 I've been thinking about it all night. 1213 01:15:38,280 --> 01:15:40,640 Just go in there and insist, absolutely, 1214 01:15:40,640 --> 01:15:41,920 that you're married. 1215 01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:44,600 Well, what if he has to see a marriage certificate or something? 1216 01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:47,440 What do I do then? Well, tell him you'll get it, 1217 01:15:47,440 --> 01:15:50,720 that you moved house not long ago and it got lost, 1218 01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:53,640 so you'll have to phone the council and they'll have to send you a copy, 1219 01:15:53,640 --> 01:15:55,200 and all of that takes time. 1220 01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:57,040 By which time, the trial will be over. 1221 01:15:57,040 --> 01:15:59,920 Well, it's the only way he won't kick you off. 1222 01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:01,920 If you just say... 1223 01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:03,480 You can come through now. 1224 01:16:09,360 --> 01:16:10,720 I'm sorry to have to... 1225 01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:12,880 If I could just explain for a minute... 1226 01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:14,880 There are protocols. Not my protocols... 1227 01:16:14,880 --> 01:16:16,800 If you just give me a sec. 1228 01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:29,440 We've been together now, 1229 01:16:29,440 --> 01:16:31,880 me and Rhys, for over 20 years. 1230 01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:36,560 But it's only really friends and family that know, 1231 01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:39,800 what with Rhys being a teacher and Section 28 and whatnot, you know, 1232 01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:41,560 it just seems easier to... 1233 01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:47,160 ..tell people what they want to hear. 1234 01:16:47,160 --> 01:16:48,920 I understand, 1235 01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:52,720 and...I wish it didn't have to be like this. 1236 01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:56,120 Have sex with whoever you want, I couldn't care less. 1237 01:16:56,120 --> 01:16:59,400 But you did lie...to me... 1238 01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:04,720 ..and I have to protect the integrity of the trial. 1239 01:17:07,280 --> 01:17:08,640 You're right. 1240 01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:12,560 I did mislead you. I lied. 1241 01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:15,360 I'm a liar. I'm a brilliant liar. 1242 01:17:15,360 --> 01:17:17,320 You won't find a better one than me. 1243 01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:20,280 And do you know why? 1244 01:17:21,840 --> 01:17:25,960 Because I've had to, my whole life, just to get by. 1245 01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:30,200 School, college, 1246 01:17:30,200 --> 01:17:32,240 work, medical trials. 1247 01:17:32,240 --> 01:17:35,120 I wish it wasn't that way, I really do, but it is. 1248 01:17:36,200 --> 01:17:37,720 It is. 1249 01:17:37,720 --> 01:17:40,720 And I don't expect you to understand, 1250 01:17:40,720 --> 01:17:44,000 because you've never had to apologise for walking into a room 1251 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:46,320 and just being who you are. 1252 01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:49,560 You'll never know what that's like. 1253 01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:56,200 See, all I ever wanted from this drug was a chance to feel 1254 01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:58,320 a bit more normal, that's all. 1255 01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:01,520 And for a while there... 1256 01:18:03,720 --> 01:18:05,200 ..I did. 1257 01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:10,280 But if you think I'm going to sit here, 1258 01:18:10,280 --> 01:18:14,040 beg and grovel and apologise for just being me... 1259 01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:18,840 ..then you're wrong. 1260 01:18:21,400 --> 01:18:22,720 I'm not... 1261 01:18:22,720 --> 01:18:24,040 I'm not going to do that. 1262 01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:34,240 You're right. 1263 01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:37,320 You shouldn't. 1264 01:18:39,640 --> 01:18:42,040 But I do now need your tablets back. 1265 01:18:43,360 --> 01:18:45,640 Have you got them with you? No, I haven't got them. 1266 01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:47,640 I've left them...at home. 1267 01:18:48,880 --> 01:18:51,040 Tommy, please. 1268 01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:55,160 I'm going to need you to hand them over to me. 1269 01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:16,240 Look, this isn't the end of the road. 1270 01:19:16,240 --> 01:19:18,160 If the trial is a success, 1271 01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:19,880 there will be others. 1272 01:19:19,880 --> 01:19:22,480 With a fair wind, before long, 1273 01:19:22,480 --> 01:19:26,320 you should be able to buy it on the open market. 1274 01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:28,040 When are we talking, Doctor? 1275 01:19:28,040 --> 01:19:30,240 Weeks? Months? 1276 01:19:30,240 --> 01:19:31,400 Years? 1277 01:19:32,680 --> 01:19:34,040 It will be years. 1278 01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:45,400 They can't just throw you off. 1279 01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:47,320 Well, they did. 1280 01:19:47,320 --> 01:19:49,000 What, because you're gay? 1281 01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:50,240 Because I lied. 1282 01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:53,000 But because you're gay! 1283 01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:55,000 Afternoon. 1284 01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:57,320 Yes, because I'm gay. 1285 01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:01,000 Oh, sod that! 1286 01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,400 I'll go round the hospital right now and I'll tell Moira... 1287 01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:04,720 Look, Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! 1288 01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:08,640 It's not Moira's fault. 1289 01:20:10,760 --> 01:20:12,440 She's only ever tried to help us. 1290 01:20:16,400 --> 01:20:17,680 I'm sorry... 1291 01:20:19,880 --> 01:20:21,320 ..it didn't work out. 1292 01:20:22,520 --> 01:20:24,000 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 1293 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:27,120 Why are you saying sorry to me? 1294 01:20:27,120 --> 01:20:29,760 I told you it doesn't matter, 1295 01:20:29,760 --> 01:20:31,040 and I meant it. 1296 01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:36,640 All that matters is you and me. 1297 01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:38,320 OK? 1298 01:20:38,320 --> 01:20:40,000 You're the love of my life! 1299 01:20:41,680 --> 01:20:45,040 And if I could marry you, I would. 1300 01:20:47,560 --> 01:20:48,800 Well... 1301 01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:53,040 ..that's never going to happen, is it? Oh! 1302 01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:56,760 No, Rhys! 1303 01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:00,400 People around, man. 1304 01:21:02,760 --> 01:21:04,040 Oh, fuck 'em. 1305 01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:08,880 Fuck 'em. 1306 01:21:08,880 --> 01:21:10,280 Fuck 'em! 1307 01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:25,760 They don't tell you what's going on. I don't know. 1308 01:21:25,760 --> 01:21:28,880 Hey, here he is! Al Capone. 1309 01:21:28,880 --> 01:21:31,240 Oh! You daft twat! 1310 01:21:35,160 --> 01:21:37,360 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! All right, all right! 1311 01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:39,160 All right, all right, all right, all right. 1312 01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:40,280 Come on. Hey, come on. 1313 01:21:40,280 --> 01:21:41,680 Come on. Here we are. All right. 1314 01:21:41,680 --> 01:21:43,280 Get in the car. Come on. In you go. 1315 01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:47,720 So what happens now? 1316 01:21:47,720 --> 01:21:50,360 We get divorced, I suppose. 1317 01:21:50,360 --> 01:21:51,600 Those pills are cursed. 1318 01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:53,040 They've ruined my life. 1319 01:21:54,440 --> 01:21:56,640 At least they worked for you. 1320 01:21:56,640 --> 01:21:58,200 Took three of the buggers last night 1321 01:21:58,200 --> 01:22:00,040 and still soft as Mr Whippy in June. 1322 01:22:01,760 --> 01:22:03,640 I thought you said... Nah, nah, nah, nah. 1323 01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:06,160 They never did the trick in the end. 1324 01:22:06,160 --> 01:22:07,400 Not quite. 1325 01:22:08,920 --> 01:22:10,800 Still, dab hand with the old fingers, 1326 01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:12,240 so it's not all doom and gloom. 1327 01:22:12,240 --> 01:22:14,040 Oh, my God! 1328 01:22:12,240 --> 01:22:14,040 LAUGHTER 1329 01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:18,680 What about you? 1330 01:22:18,680 --> 01:22:21,200 How did it go with, er...? Teresa. 1331 01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:22,320 Aye, not bad. 1332 01:22:22,320 --> 01:22:25,800 HE LAUGHS 1333 01:22:22,320 --> 01:22:25,800 You sly old fox! 1334 01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:27,760 I ended up telling her about the tablets, 1335 01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:30,680 and I thought she might do a runner. 1336 01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:34,360 But she loved it. Wants to buy shares in Pfizer. 1337 01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:38,240 And I'm thinking of asking her to move in. 1338 01:22:38,240 --> 01:22:41,880 I was thinking maybe we could get a little place of our own. 1339 01:22:43,520 --> 01:22:44,800 Down by the sea, perhaps. 1340 01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:48,000 Good for you! 1341 01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:51,920 Me and Alys, we've been living on borrowed time for years. 1342 01:22:51,920 --> 01:22:54,000 If I'm being honest, I knew that - 1343 01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:56,440 deep down. 1344 01:22:56,440 --> 01:22:58,200 Maybe it's a blessing...somehow. 1345 01:22:58,200 --> 01:22:59,720 Maybe we can both be happy now. 1346 01:23:01,240 --> 01:23:02,560 She deserves to be happy. 1347 01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:08,640 So, those tablets you two have got, 1348 01:23:08,640 --> 01:23:11,520 you won't be needing them now? All right, Casanova. 1349 01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:14,000 Bloody hell! Don Juan over here. 1350 01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:16,240 Right, anyone for another cuppa? 1351 01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:17,640 Aye. I need a wazz. 1352 01:23:24,520 --> 01:23:28,000 Hey, you didn't say nothing to the boys about the...? 1353 01:23:28,000 --> 01:23:29,240 Of course I didn't. 1354 01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:33,400 You going to be all right? Aye, aye, I'll be fine. 1355 01:23:34,840 --> 01:23:38,000 You're not going to do anything stupid again, are you? 1356 01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:39,880 If I do, you'll be the first one I call. 1357 01:23:41,040 --> 01:23:44,480 No, but do. Call me. 1358 01:23:44,480 --> 01:23:46,040 Any time, day or night. 1359 01:23:47,800 --> 01:23:50,840 We've got to keep talking. It's the only way. 1360 01:23:50,840 --> 01:23:53,240 And bollocks to all this pretending, all right? 1361 01:23:53,240 --> 01:23:54,760 The lying. 1362 01:23:54,760 --> 01:23:56,280 You're enough. 1363 01:23:56,280 --> 01:23:58,000 We're enough. 1364 01:23:58,000 --> 01:23:59,160 Just as we are. 1365 01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,640 How'd you get so bloody wise? 1366 01:24:08,240 --> 01:24:12,120 I remember Catrin used to say to me, 1367 01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:15,440 "I know what the meaning of life is, Col. 1368 01:24:15,440 --> 01:24:18,480 "We're all just walking each other home." 1369 01:24:20,160 --> 01:24:21,520 She was right. 1370 01:24:23,160 --> 01:24:24,520 That's all we're doing. 1371 01:24:26,680 --> 01:24:28,320 Just walking each other home. 1372 01:24:39,240 --> 01:24:40,600 Hey! 1373 01:24:43,560 --> 01:24:44,760 Do you, er...? 1374 01:24:44,760 --> 01:24:46,240 Do you want me to come with you? 1375 01:24:46,240 --> 01:24:47,360 What for? 1376 01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:48,680 I don't know. 1377 01:24:48,680 --> 01:24:52,160 To say thank you to the doctors? 1378 01:24:52,160 --> 01:24:54,000 You daft sod. 1379 01:24:54,000 --> 01:24:56,200 Well, I am. 1380 01:24:56,200 --> 01:24:58,240 I am thankful. 1381 01:24:58,240 --> 01:25:00,200 They've given me my husband back. 1382 01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:07,400 Eurgh! 1383 01:25:07,400 --> 01:25:09,040 That's disgusting! 1384 01:25:09,040 --> 01:25:11,520 Mum! Dad! 1385 01:25:17,800 --> 01:25:19,000 See you later. 1386 01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:20,400 See you later. 1387 01:25:27,680 --> 01:25:29,440 Hello, Jean. Hello, Martin. 1388 01:25:29,440 --> 01:25:30,640 # Oh 1389 01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:34,520 # Oh, baby 1390 01:25:35,560 --> 01:25:37,040 # Yeah 1391 01:25:37,040 --> 01:25:38,440 # Ooh, yeah 1392 01:25:40,720 --> 01:25:42,320 # Now don't get me wrong 1393 01:25:42,320 --> 01:25:44,120 # Ain't gonna do you no harm 1394 01:25:44,120 --> 01:25:46,000 # No, this bomb's for loving 1395 01:25:46,000 --> 01:25:48,160 # And you can shoot it far 1396 01:25:48,160 --> 01:25:50,160 # I'm your main target 1397 01:25:50,160 --> 01:25:52,440 # Come and help me ignite Ow! 1398 01:25:52,440 --> 01:25:54,840 # Lovestruck, me holding you tight 1399 01:25:54,840 --> 01:25:56,520 # Hold me tight, darling 1400 01:25:56,520 --> 01:25:58,000 # Make me explode 1401 01:25:58,000 --> 01:25:59,840 # Although you know 1402 01:25:59,840 --> 01:26:03,800 # The route to go to sex me slow Slow 1403 01:26:03,800 --> 01:26:06,000 # And, yes, I must react 1404 01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:08,000 # To claims of those 1405 01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:11,480 # Who say that you are not all that Ha-ha-ha! 1406 01:26:11,480 --> 01:26:13,520 # Sexbomb, sexbomb 1407 01:26:13,520 --> 01:26:15,760 # Well You're my sexbomb 1408 01:26:15,760 --> 01:26:19,360 # You can give it to me when I need to come along 1409 01:26:19,360 --> 01:26:21,320 # Sexbomb, sexbomb 1410 01:26:21,320 --> 01:26:23,480 # Yeah You're my sexbomb 1411 01:26:23,480 --> 01:26:26,000 # And baby, you can turn me on 1412 01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:27,280 # Turn me on, darling 1413 01:26:27,280 --> 01:26:29,200 # Sexbomb, sexbomb Uh-huh 1414 01:26:29,200 --> 01:26:31,680 # You're my sexbomb Sexbomb 1415 01:26:31,680 --> 01:26:35,000 # And you can give it to me when I need to come along 1416 01:26:35,000 --> 01:26:37,000 # Sexbomb, sexbomb Huh 1417 01:26:37,000 --> 01:26:39,000 # You're my sexbomb 1418 01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:43,240 # And baby, you can turn me on Ha-ha-ha! 1419 01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:46,520 # You can give me more and more Counting up the score 1420 01:26:46,520 --> 01:26:47,720 # Yeah 1421 01:26:47,720 --> 01:26:50,840 # You can turn me upside down and inside out... #