1
00:00:22,899 --> 00:00:24,901
(剛才那個吻很棒)

2
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:31,949
(我想我可能懷孕了)

3
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,666
我的天,你回來晚了

4
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,668
- 我知道
- 我們要做第一段

5
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,837
摩根,我想道歉,但沒辦法

6
00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:46,255
怎麼啦

7
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:51,511
我剛有過這輩子最棒的一個吻

8
00:00:51,511 --> 00:00:53,221
好,太好了,留到節目上再說吧

9
00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:55,598
我這個禮拜沒什麼好說的

10
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:59,811
我過去三天尿道感染
而且還不是因為打炮才感染

11
00:00:59,811 --> 00:01:01,771
- 你的蔓越莓汁
- 謝謝

12
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,108
我跟你爸在一起時經常會尿道感染

13
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,400
- 媽
- 噁心

14
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,569
- 摩根,你聽了會死
- 好

15
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,114
諾亞跟我在裝曖昧

16
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,740
假裝我們當朋友就好

17
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,660
很顯然我們兩個都知道那是不可能的

18
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:16,911
好,繼續

19
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,871
我在餐廳做了一個很可愛的舉動

20
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:21,707
裝出“我不覺得可以留下來”的樣子

21
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:23,918
我猜,你留下來了

22
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,711
- 哦,我留下來了
- 對

23
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:29,173
然後我們走在街上,邊走邊吃冰淇淋

24
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:35,221
你知道你看到討厭的情侶
邊走邊吃冰淇淋就很想殺了他們?

25
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:36,430
我們就是那樣

26
00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:38,432
好,繼續說

27
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:41,519
然後他說:“把冰淇淋放下”

28
00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:44,355
- 我不討厭那樣
- 我也不會,因為他主導

29
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:46,440
好,你有聽他的話嗎?

30
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,025
當然啦

31
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,443
- 是,主廚
- 嗯

32
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:52,738
然後你知道接下來發生的事

33
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,574
你們到洗手間打炮

34
00:01:54,574 --> 00:01:57,285
不,我們只是接吻,我一進來就說了

35
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,954
也許你是亂打炮才會尿道感染,老天

36
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,038
有可能

37
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:07,128
- 提醒我今晚的來賓是誰
- 好,是傑沙博士

38
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:09,172
- 我的點子
- 我這下緊張了

39
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:12,800
他寫了一本書,關於如何
從一個人的氣場知道他是什麼樣的人

40
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,511
哦,聽起來...很蠢

41
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:19,849
他才不蠢,他有
英屬土克凱可群島的學位

42
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,810
- 好
- 那一點你要查證

43
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:25,438
我查了,算查過了

44
00:02:25,438 --> 00:02:27,481
他的個人簡歷呢?

45
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:29,817
這裡什麼都沒有

46
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,237
只有引述和鳥

47
00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:42,330
(貝絲以色列醫院)

48
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,081
- 嘿!
- 哦!老弟,你到哪去了?

49
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,541
發生什麼事了?

50
00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:48,002
蕊貝卡打了十通電話給我

51
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,087
是她媽,說她差點陷入昏迷

52
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:53,883
我不知道差點陷入昏迷
是什麼意思,但她沒事

53
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:54,800
是嗎?

54
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,970
她追撞一輛停靠的公車,手腕骨折

55
00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,181
要動手術打鋼釘

56
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,307
- 她的手腕?
- 對

57
00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:02,850
- 就這樣?
- 對,就這樣

58
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,477
- 她沒事
- 對,她沒事

59
00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,854
- 謝天謝地
- 老兄,她不只沒事

60
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:10,191
她能拿到止痛藥,還能請病假

61
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,985
老天,等等,我該去追撞公車嗎?

62
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:14,862
- 說真的,我希望你去撞
- 對

63
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,907
等等,還有另一件有趣的事要跟你說

64
00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:21,702
爸媽跟蕊貝卡的爸媽正在吵嘴

65
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,330
只有一件事他們都同意
就是他們都很生你的氣

66
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:25,831
他們幹嘛生我的氣?

67
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,417
是你造成這次意外

68
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,543
- 很顯然啊
- 什麼?

69
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:33,339
她傷心欲絕去撞公車,再簡單不過

70
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:34,840
等等

71
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:36,509
他們認為她是...

72
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,596
像是企圖...

73
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,764
怎麼,自我了斷?

74
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:44,517
因為你?

75
00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:46,602
不,聽著,你長得還不錯,但不到

76
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:49,230
“對方被你甩了就會輕生”那種程度

77
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,399
我沒有甩了她,好嗎?

78
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,026
情侶分手,這種事一天到晚都有

79
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:57,363
我不在乎
我只是想告訴你裡面的人在說什麼

80
00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,990
我兩邊都要兼顧

81
00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:01,325
為你辯護的同時還要為自己辯護

82
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,952
- 太好了,非常感謝
- 好

83
00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:05,579
你剛才在哪裡?
跟那個嬌小的金髮女生在一起?

84
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,498
我現在不要回答那個問題

85
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:08,916
好,那答案就是對

86
00:04:10,543 --> 00:04:11,919
我們相處得很愉快

87
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:15,423
你們相處得很愉快
老天,你真的很不會說故事

88
00:04:16,007 --> 00:04:17,008
你的氣場是...

89
00:04:17,008 --> 00:04:20,928
不是森林綠,比較像祖母綠

90
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,973
表示你很大方

91
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:26,892
哦...我的天!

92
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:30,104
氣場真的能看出一個人
因為我就是那種人

93
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:33,816
你今天早上
才要我用行動支付幫你買果昔

94
00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,860
- 又怎樣?
- 現在換瓊安

95
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:36,902
當然,好

96
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,946
不,我不用,還是謝謝你

97
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,240
拜託,這就像
知名創作歌手傑森瑪耶茲來了

98
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,242
你卻不要他唱成名曲《我是你的》?

99
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,369
媽,你迷戀傑森瑪耶茲

100
00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:47,288
媽,我懂你的意思,來吧

101
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:49,332
- 可以?好
- 來吧,好

102
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,336
好,聽眾們

103
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:57,381
博士的手在我妹的臉四周探索

104
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:05,848
好,幹嘛?你幹嘛摸我?
因為你沒有摸其他人

105
00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:10,478
我有點找不到你的氣場

106
00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:11,896
哇

107
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:15,149
我沒找到
這種情況很少見,但難免會有

108
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:16,984
不是好事

109
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,445
你覺得找不到會不會是因為

110
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:21,280
根本沒有氣場這種東西?

111
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,408
哦!充滿懷疑,這樣就有道理了

112
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:27,787
- 看吧?所以她才沒結婚
- 總比離婚好

113
00:05:27,787 --> 00:05:30,289
不要攻擊別人,對你沒什麼幫助

114
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:32,750
- 我不是想證明什麼
- 你嗓門很大

115
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,168
我真的沒有嗓門很大

116
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,253
- 哇,她會變那樣
- 哦?

117
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,756
要聽一件奇怪的事嗎?
她跟一個拉比約會

118
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,925
哦!真的?

119
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,094
啊

120
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:44,553
“啊”

121
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:46,889
“啊”是什麼意思?

122
00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:50,476
只是接近上帝的人

123
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:53,771
氣場很強,而你的...

124
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:59,318
我一定要說,你不能穿那件和服

125
00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:01,612
我的搭檔是日本人

126
00:06:02,113 --> 00:06:04,490
所以...謝了

127
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,037
- 你也想
- 尤莉亞,別擔心

128
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:12,498
嘿,大家好

129
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,547
真糟糕,她出了車禍你才會關心她

130
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,508
我來了

131
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,635
兒子,你剛才去哪了?

132
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,096
她怎麼樣?

133
00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:31,225
- 她在上帝手中
- 對

134
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,643
她的手腕呢?

135
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,145
無從知道

136
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,272
好,我可以去看她嗎?

137
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:38,315
為什麼?要讓她連心也碎了?

138
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:42,069
不,我是來確保蕊貝卡沒事

139
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,363
你用不著去見她,她受夠了

140
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:47,158
我跟護士談過,她不會有事

141
00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:48,534
忽然間,他變成醫生

142
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:52,288
其實如果我哥西尼沒有死於傷寒

143
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:53,914
我就會去唸醫學院

144
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,958
我表格都填好了

145
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,252
- 聽到了嗎?他表格都填好了
- 是真的

146
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,464
我也在場,那些表格很難寫又很複雜

147
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:02,631
謝謝你

148
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:07,011
看在我們多年的交情
和大家現在都很操煩的分上

149
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,929
我就不把你的侮辱當一回事

150
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,683
餐廳關門了
但我從自動販賣機買到這些

151
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:16,479
諾亞,你真好,終於加入我們了

152
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:19,982
艾絲特,我很高興我來了
還有謝謝你的熱烈歡迎

153
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,568
你過去兩個小時手機壞了還是...

154
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,820
我關機,所以才能專心

155
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,614
哦,專心,好

156
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:29,700
我相信不管你在幹嘛,都像一條活龍

157
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,203
好毒哦

158
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,749
諾亞,告訴我你想通了

159
00:07:36,749 --> 00:07:40,294
當然啦,我跟你說過這只是一個階段

160
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:43,881
我們想聽的是
你對於復合還是保持開放的態度

161
00:07:44,924 --> 00:07:48,552
今晚我們集中精力讓蕊貝卡好起來

162
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,596
- 心懷感恩
- 阿們

163
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,389
鬼扯,他在轉移話題

164
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:55,476
你老到可以當阿公了,還在等什麼?

165
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,645
他不是在等,他找到一個非猶友

166
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,063
該死,艾絲特

167
00:07:59,063 --> 00:08:01,524
- 你背著我女兒劈腿?
- 沒有人劈腿

168
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,567
- 你知道這件事?
- 非猶友?絕對不知道

169
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,027
- 我好震驚
- 我要走了

170
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:08,572
不,你才沒有,你早知道
你一定知道,只是不希望我知道

171
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:11,033
親愛的

172
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,285
- 我再也不跟你說話
- 親愛的,不要...

173
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,829
我唸醫學院也會唸得很好

174
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,164
什麼?

175
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,584
我唸醫學院也會唸得很好
我沒有填那些表格,但是...

176
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,796
我只是想不透

177
00:08:23,796 --> 00:08:26,507
怎麼從一個那麼熱情的吻

178
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:30,844
到三個多小時不回簡訊

179
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,721
也許他的嘴巴對這個吻

180
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:37,268
跟你的嘴巴對這個吻的感受不一樣

181
00:08:37,268 --> 00:08:39,353
- 相信我,不是那樣
- 好

182
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:42,314
- 很奇怪他還沒...等等
- 我同意,是很奇怪

183
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,440
是他嗎?

184
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,110
不是,是我的藥劑師要我去拿贊安諾

185
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,904
- 那你最好快去拿
- 你覺得我聽起來像瘋了

186
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,614
- 不!
- 瘋了?沒有

187
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,909
- 我只是開玩笑
- 我們都有點瘋,過來

188
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,203
我的小天使

189
00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,372
真好

190
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:02,293
- 你什麼時候最後一次傳簡訊給他?
- 哦,我...你自己看

191
00:09:02,293 --> 00:09:03,460
好

192
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,753
我覺得我寫得很棒

193
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,922
對,我相信

194
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:11,051
不好意思,“我想我可能懷孕了”?

195
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,054
不要只看那一句,要看第一句

196
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,515
好,“剛才那個吻很棒”

197
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:21,437
對,是開玩笑,那個吻很棒
我想我可能懷孕了,很好笑

198
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,273
- 我不懂笑點在哪
- 聽著,好

199
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:27,067
男人不喜歡懷孕的笑話

200
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,988
他會搞不清楚
他是拉比,想法跟你不一樣

201
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:34,241
你得承認你們是奇怪的一對,不是?

202
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,076
- 為什麼?
- 什麼為什麼?

203
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,871
為什麼我們是奇怪的一對?
就因為他是拉比?

204
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:41,332
不,我只是說我認識他時

205
00:09:41,332 --> 00:09:44,627
他似乎非常...有責任感

206
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,836
而且善良

207
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,004
而你...

208
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,881
親愛的,不好相處

209
00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,007
我不是壞人

210
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,467
我們沒有說你是

211
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:54,595
我們只是說跟神職人員比起來

212
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:57,097
你有點像壞人

213
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,141
對

214
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,227
- 我能想像你跟邪教領袖在一起
- 哦,我的...

215
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,395
那個我能想像

216
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,485
- 諾亞
- 什麼事?

217
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,655
- 諾亞!
- 幹嘛?

218
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,823
幹嘛?你想說什麼?

219
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,367
我有好多話想說

220
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:19,703
裡面那個女人
那個條件一向比你好的女神

221
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,622
正在為自己的生命奮戰

222
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,165
我爸剛說她不會有事

223
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:26,877
- 你爸什麼都不知道
- 其實他差點當上醫生

224
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:29,463
對,我2003年差點跟亞當李維打炮

225
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:32,383
但你沒看到我老是說
自己跟魔力紅有多熟,你有嗎?

226
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:34,677
值得嗎?

227
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:35,678
什麼值得嗎?

228
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:39,223
你那個在她播客節目
一天到晚說肛交的金髮友人

229
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,517
你剛剛才說跟亞當李維打炮

230
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,102
- 是差點...
- 你跟亞當李維打炮?

231
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:46,689
差點跟亞當李維打炮
還有說真的,至少他是猶太人

232
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:49,525
我知道他是猶太人
你幾時差點跟亞當李維打炮?

233
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:51,151
寶貝,在卡波,你知道這件事

234
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,569
我們還沒說完,諾亞

235
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:53,987
我們到底在幹嘛?

236
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,614
對,我們在幹嘛?我搞混了

237
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,074
我跟你說他在幹嘛

238
00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:00,202
他要拋棄
跟一個完美的女人的一段感情

239
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,620
好

240
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,958
聽著,她不會死
你跟她還是可以當朋友

241
00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:08,001
對,你跟她還是可以當朋友

242
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,963
但是你不只是跟她分手

243
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,507
而是跟全家人分手

244
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,594
這個猶太罪惡感真重

245
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,805
對,我覺得你需要一點

246
00:11:22,141 --> 00:11:23,851
她還愛著你

247
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:32,317
跟全家人分手?搞什麼?不好意思

248
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,236
親愛的,亞當李維?

249
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:35,738
有那麼難相信嗎?

250
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:38,157
我不知道,只是你似乎很愛吵架

251
00:11:38,157 --> 00:11:40,951
他似乎比較溫和

252
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,755
很晚了,也許他只是還沒看到簡訊

253
00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:56,633
簡訊是在離開之後15分鐘傳的

254
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:59,094
你以為他只是在家

255
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,597
刷牙準備上床

256
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:05,350
在手機上設鬧鐘卻沒看簡訊?

257
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,977
不,他肯定看到了

258
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:09,855
老天!為什麼我老是要開玩笑?

259
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:13,358
大多數女生都會傳
“剛才很棒,很愉快”

260
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,735
但大多數女生都很無聊

261
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,196
男人似乎喜歡無聊的女生

262
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:20,240
但是誰在乎他們喜歡什麼,對吧?

263
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,659
對!

264
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,827
誰在乎?

265
00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:25,037
我就不在乎

266
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,246
我沒有昏頭

267
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:30,417
我還是堅持這個事實
我那個簡訊純屬玩笑

268
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,337
因為是,而且很好笑
還有我給他一個很棒的吻

269
00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:34,254
我相信

270
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,216
所以我一點都不擔心

271
00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:40,302
因為我知道我很會接吻
我很厲害,我非常厲害

272
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,054
- 太好了
- 我其實很厲害

273
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:43,972
- 對,好,太好了
- 太好了,好

274
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,684
哦,我的天,她徹底昏頭了

275
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:54,775
邪教領袖

276
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,903
那些傢伙超級性感,所以...

277
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:00,781
對,我就知道

278
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,284
哦,他媽的凱爾

279
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,411
不,謝了

280
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:10,249
其實...等等

281
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:11,333
(凱爾)

282
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,091
哦!這麼快就回我

283
00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:20,467
我有個問題要問你

284
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,010
好,你可以過來

285
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:25,889
我對你的約炮沒興趣了
我有個嚴肅的問題要問你

286
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,100
你覺得我是好人嗎?

287
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,477
- 你的當下反應
- 不是

288
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,312
再想想

289
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,856
這次花時間好好想

290
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,691
讓答案有時間醞釀一下

291
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:39,152
當我想到瓊安,我想到的是一個

292
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:41,405
好...

293
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,283
好,我知道你在幹嘛

294
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:46,201
你打給你認識的人當中最爛那個人

295
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,412
因為只有像我這樣的爛人才會覺得

296
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:51,456
像你這樣的爛人沒那麼爛,對吧?

297
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,792
不,我不是...哦,可惡!

298
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:55,168
被我說中了

299
00:13:56,295 --> 00:13:59,548
老天,我喜歡這樣
彼此坦白,你知道?

300
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,467
等等,什麼?不是,等等

301
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,219
我可以跟你說一件私事嗎?

302
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,972
我現在好硬,硬到會痛

303
00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,807
嗨,小傢伙

304
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,394
你爸媽呢?

305
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,271
好,對,我可以玩這一套

306
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:20,360
媽咪和爹地正在鳳凰城渡假

307
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,112
噁!凱爾,不要這樣好嗎?

308
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,281
什麼?瓊安
是你起的頭,去死,我...

309
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:27,868
凱爾,你知道嗎?
我剛想到我其實不在乎你怎麼想

310
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,829
小子!狗狗!

311
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,081
過來,狗狗!

312
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,460
你在哪裡...哦,嗨

313
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,087
你想要什麼?我有什麼?

314
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,965
我有半片餅乾

315
00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:44,718
一顆薄荷糖,還有一個髮帶

316
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,721
你要哪一個?過來

317
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:52,392
嘿

318
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,812
嗨

319
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,106
過來

320
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,943
你知道嗎?我身上穿的
是我最喜歡一套運動衣

321
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:03,695
已經停產了,但為了你
我不惜毀掉這套運動服

322
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,823
好,嘿

323
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,704
沒關係

324
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,248
哦,狗狗

325
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,086
我可以問你一個問題嗎?

326
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,672
就你過去30秒對我的認識

327
00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:25,384
你覺得我好到可以跟一個

328
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,970
真的很好的人在一起?

329
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,638
像是非常好的人?

330
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,893
好,我就當你說可以

331
00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:38,605
這樣還蠻好玩的,好

332
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,524
我該剪瀏海嗎?

333
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,695
好,不要剪瀏海

334
00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,571
好

335
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:53,787
老天,那些遊客還有尖叫與抱怨聲

336
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:57,374
讓人很難靜下來想事情

337
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:58,333
對

338
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,712
大部分的噪音都是大家對我大吼大叫

339
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:03,046
哦,拜託

340
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,590
我一直坐在這裡

341
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:10,137
心想蕊貝卡會不會是因為我才出車禍

342
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:11,096
哦,不要說了

343
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:15,142
想要一個新的
讓人興奮的對象,不管能交往多久

344
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:18,520
或會傷害誰都無所謂,這有多自私?

345
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,732
只是在想我是不是一個爛人

346
00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:23,233
你,爛人?

347
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,069
拜託,不可能

348
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:28,739
跟我說實話

349
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,993
你覺得我跟蕊貝卡分手錯了嗎?

350
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:35,078
- 你問我?
- 我在問你

351
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:41,418
諾亞,我覺得蕊貝卡是個好女孩

352
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,377
她很棒

353
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:45,797
我認為跟這樣的女孩攜手
你會有一個很美好的人生

354
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,926
但是另一方面,諾亞

355
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:54,431
這個決定帶來的後悔或喜悅
是你一個人比需完全承擔的

356
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,642
只有你,不是艾絲特
不是你媽,當然不會是我

357
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:01,188
我跟我太太結婚很多年,我非常幸福

358
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:05,275
如果你把我說的話告訴她
我會否認,因為她會殺了我

359
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,906
我們要抱抱?
好,我要加入,哦,好耶

360
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:29,674
諾亞?

361
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,470
嘿,你去弄了一隻狗?

362
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,846
你在這裡做什麼?

363
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,641
這個嘛...

364
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,895
我今晚很不好過
等等再告訴你是怎麼回事

365
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:47,067
然後我發現自己開車過來
看看會不會有機會見到你

366
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:50,028
然後我想凌晨兩點按門鈴有點過分

367
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:54,699
我想決定我是否該離開
永遠不承認我來過這裡

368
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,576
你有收到我的簡訊嗎?

369
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,788
因為當你沒回我的簡訊,我有點在意

370
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:00,914
你懷孕了

371
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,208
恭喜,真好

372
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,502
我知道我很會接吻,但是這個...

373
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:07,504
這種事從來沒發生在我身上

374
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,633
看吧?我就知道很好笑
我就知道你會懂

375
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,679
為什麼你不回我的簡訊?

376
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:19,474
我20分鐘前才看到
我把手機留在車上

377
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:20,934
不好意思

378
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,104
所以

379
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,607
這麼晚跟你回家的這個

380
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,318
帥氣的先生或小姐是誰?

381
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,279
只是我撿到的小狗

382
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:33,530
- 是嗎?
- 對

383
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:34,823
我應該吃醋嗎?

384
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,199
我是說

385
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:40,871
這個粗壯的傢伙一路上都盯著我看

386
00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:43,456
我覺得自己
非常受到關注,所以也許吧

387
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,958
好,那我吃醋了

388
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,211
- 你哪裡發現牠的?
- 在街上

389
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,129
- 是嗎?
- 對

390
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:52,549
我朋友負責一個流浪狗之家
我明天早上就會把牠送過去

391
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,428
你今晚救了一隻狗,你做了一件功德

392
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:58,680
一件好事

393
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,474
哦,對,我做了一件功德

394
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,392
對

395
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,563
- 可以嗎?你頭髮裡面有樹枝
- 什麼?

396
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:09,107
- 老天,什麼?
- 你頭髮裡面好多東西

397
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:11,985
樹葉還有...就樹葉

398
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,865
我很高興見到你

399
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,241
我也是

400
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:30,563
字幕翻譯:韋家瑤