1
00:00:19,395 --> 00:00:21,939
老天,有錢人不要的東西最棒了

2
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,524
哦,這件很適合你

3
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,568
拜託,不要想害我

4
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:29,072
我覺得米色很適合你
帶出你肌膚的灰色底色

5
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,031
- 真的?
- 對

6
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,784
如果你們要吵架,拿麥克風時再吵

7
00:00:32,784 --> 00:00:35,328
過去幾週
你們節目的下載數字一直下降

8
00:00:35,328 --> 00:00:37,663
那是因為
瓊安交了男朋友以後就變得很無趣

9
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:41,250
那樣說不公平,我只是少分享一點

10
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,711
- 這樣才健康,聽過這個說法嗎?
-“健康”

11
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:46,798
我知道你跟拉比有愛愛怪癖
你們隔著床單透過一個洞做

12
00:00:46,798 --> 00:00:48,716
這種事全世界都該知道

13
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:52,678
摩根,不是每件事
都要在節目上說,好嗎?

14
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,514
還有我們的下載數字會反彈

15
00:00:54,514 --> 00:00:56,557
瓊安,你有看過最近的留言嗎?

16
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,184
沒有,我不再看留言了

17
00:00:58,184 --> 00:01:00,394
因為他們老是抱怨很蠢的事

18
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,146
像是我們為了尿尿經常暫停節目

19
00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:04,273
我應該別再喝水渴死算了?

20
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,983
好,這個留言好耶

21
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:10,696
“最近感覺摩根比瓊安風趣多了”

22
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,782
那個一定是你寫的
因為沒有人會那樣說

23
00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:13,866
“我以前是粉絲

24
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,910
但瓊安的平淡故事真讓我受不了”

25
00:01:16,828 --> 00:01:19,038
還有一張安眠茶的梗圖

26
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:21,791
- 什麼?
- 嗯

27
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:22,875
這個留言是正面的

28
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:27,547
“我喜歡瓊安少說點話
因為她的聲音聽起來很煩”

29
00:01:27,547 --> 00:01:30,758
- 好,也許那個不算
- 看,這都是諾亞害的

30
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,426
我恨你男朋友

31
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,429
- 你為什麼恨他?
- 因為我不想分享

32
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,933
我?你不想分享我?你真好

33
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:41,519
好,刺青、粗脖子、有一點前科

34
00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:43,187
那才比較像你的菜

35
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,398
- 哦,不
- 我們怎麼不把這個錄下來?

36
00:01:45,398 --> 00:01:48,985
聽著,好,我不要你說
你恨諾亞,因為你不了解他

37
00:01:48,985 --> 00:01:51,529
我不了解安海瑟威,我還是恨她

38
00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:52,989
- 我的天,我也是
- 對

39
00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:56,868
某個時間點你非了解他不可
找他一起來看《溫達普規則》呢?

40
00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:58,244
不,那是我們的時間

41
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,079
他不會懂我

42
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,748
摩根,你沒那麼難懂

43
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,500
我充滿矛盾

44
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:05,418
幹嘛?

45
00:02:05,418 --> 00:02:09,755
像是...我不想跟那個傢伙打炮但我會

46
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,048
等會見

47
00:02:11,883 --> 00:02:13,759
真的?戴著綁帶帽

48
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,011
我尊重

49
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,972
穿這件參加葬禮太誇張了嗎?

50
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,192
嘿!帥哥回來了

51
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:31,903
嘿,帥哥,你的職銜是什麼?

52
00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:32,862
哦

53
00:02:34,447 --> 00:02:36,949
- 世界最棒的情人
- 但願是

54
00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:40,411
說真的,我在寫米莉安成年禮表格

55
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:43,956
我要知道你真正的職銜

56
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,291
哦

57
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,419
我不知道,沒有職銜?

58
00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:52,048
同事?

59
00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:55,718
公司叫洛克羅夫父子
而你弟根本不在那裡上班

60
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:58,804
但是挺不錯的,好像他叫我兩次

61
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,183
好,那我就寫副總

62
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:05,895
不!我爸會看到,他才開始喜歡我

63
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:06,938
不,他才沒有

64
00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:08,940
寶貝,你要找個時間跟他談談

65
00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:12,485
不,我不要,我要等到他自己說

66
00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:14,487
不開口要就什麼都沒有

67
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,406
好,我會找他談談

68
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,658
什麼時候?

69
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,495
我不知道?第四季結束時?

70
00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:24,830
第四季,表格下午六點前就要交出去

71
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:28,459
我今天不要去找他談
今天是星期天,他一整天都在澡堂

72
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,628
聽起來你要去澡堂了

73
00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:40,846
你知道我討厭澡堂

74
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:49,730
看《溫達普規則》
要了解很多東西才看得懂

75
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:53,442
我們特別挑星期天看
因為這個就是我們的美式足球

76
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:54,652
就像教堂

77
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:55,736
- 對
- 對

78
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,531
- 就像我們的教堂,謝謝
- 現在也是我的

79
00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:01,033
這不是一看就會喜歡的節目

80
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,452
所以如果你覺得無聊想離開,沒關係

81
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:06,372
她只是自我保護
不是以為她是針對你

82
00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:08,791
- 我才不是
- 我不會,她只是盡她的責任

83
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:11,460
為了回報你,我帶了伴手禮

84
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,963
- 別想取悅我
- 但我想

85
00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:15,881
好,什麼伴手禮?

86
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,925
- 好
- 袋子那麼大,我怎麼可以不問?

87
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,552
- 好
- 你很容易看穿,我才...

88
00:04:19,552 --> 00:04:22,972
第一個禮物,刺青貼紙
可以貼在我細瘦的脖子

89
00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,390
非常可愛

90
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:28,019
我還帶了瓊安跟我
等一下要用來愛愛的床單

91
00:04:28,019 --> 00:04:30,313
- 瓊安!你跟他說了?
- 我什麼都跟他說

92
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,940
我的天,好丟臉哦,對不起

93
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:36,068
我還帶了玉米點心,因為我喜歡

94
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,778
好,你可以吃那種東西嗎?

95
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,406
我以為拉比
應該只吃符合猶太飲食戒律的東西

96
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,576
還好我們有個拉比
可以為這些東西祈福

97
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,662
哈瓦納吉拉,好,它們受到祈福了

98
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,497
- 好
- 而且也符合猶太飲食戒律

99
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:51,500
好,他蠻會搞笑,幹嘛?是真的

100
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,502
老天

101
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,504
哦,是媽

102
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,048
- 嗨,媽
- 嗨,媽

103
00:04:57,048 --> 00:05:00,760
嗨,女兒們!你們的爸跟我
要去找你們一起看《溫達普規則》

104
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:01,719
- 嘿
- 你們要?

105
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:04,513
- 好嗎?
- 還有耶!派特也要一起去

106
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,390
- 誰是派特?
- 等等!誰是派特?

107
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,059
你們老爸的新男友

108
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,978
嗨,瓊安!嗨,摩根!

109
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,814
他是不是很棒?
哦,他是心理諮商師

110
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:17,151
他有次諮商亨利溫克勒的表弟方奇

111
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,444
為什麼會這樣?

112
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,112
我跟伊斯蘭國談過了

113
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,531
- 伊斯蘭國?
- 不好意思,那個恐怖組織?

114
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:25,409
是我的心靈導師和我的貓保母啦

115
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,702
- 什麼?
- 媽...

116
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:30,873
他們說你們兩個
真的需要兩個健康家長的聯合監護

117
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:33,709
- 我不覺得是那樣
- 我們真的不用,我們是大人

118
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:35,336
- 等會見
- 對

119
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,046
不,等等,不要帶派特...

120
00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:40,674
- 你們的爸媽要過來?
- 顯然是,還有一個叫派特的人

121
00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:47,264
好,我要去換衣服
因為這是我的籃球服

122
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,434
- 誰在乎,不過是我爸媽
- 沒有人比爸媽重要

123
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:53,479
沒什麼比我爸媽更不重要
你這樣穿沒問題

124
00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:56,649
好,這是我的教養
所以我想我需要換衣服

125
00:05:56,649 --> 00:05:57,608
你不用...

126
00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,318
還有我們的點心不夠

127
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:02,071
所以我要出去,我去去就回

128
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:04,156
我去去就回來

129
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,449
馬上回來,不好意思

130
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,538
所以你隔著床單跟那個男的打炮?

131
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,497
不要說了

132
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,253
老天

133
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,092
嘿

134
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:29,807
哦,我大兒子來了

135
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:30,808
嘿,老爸

136
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,143
哦,父親

137
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:36,439
我來是要...

138
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:41,652
我來是因為我要問...

139
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:44,947
幫我一個忙,我要你用樺樹葉打我

140
00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:46,365
- 好
- 對

141
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:47,450
用什麼?

142
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,076
- 快點
- 好

143
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,417
哦,對,打呀!

144
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:00,838
好耶

145
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:04,967
我一直在想公司的事
也許擔任更重要的角色?

146
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:06,135
更重要的角色?

147
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:09,430
你要我的工作?沙夏,我還沒死

148
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:12,308
- 拿樺樹葉打就好,好嗎?
- 好

149
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:20,316
- 來了
- 嗨,家人好

150
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:21,692
派特,你也來了

151
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,987
- 能受邀我充滿感恩
- 好

152
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:27,072
我們走在時代尖端的新家庭!

153
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,908
- 是不是很棒?
- 對

154
00:07:28,908 --> 00:07:30,326
- 嘿,女兒們!
- 嗨,爸

155
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,828
你們又沒等我就開始
可惡,我們錯過什麼?

156
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,330
我只想說

157
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,584
我知道改變有時候真的會無所適從

158
00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:41,128
但是我認為
兩位小姐表現得非常有風度

159
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,338
派特,那是呼攏

160
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,090
你說得對,不好意思

161
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,009
哦,我很高興你來了

162
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:49,303
有你的地方就是我最想在的地方

163
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:50,846
空氣中瀰漫著愛!

164
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:51,764
哇

165
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,475
- 你在幹嘛?
- 哇

166
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,061
- 我們家都大方表達感情
- 不,我們才不是

167
00:07:57,061 --> 00:08:00,439
你們都曾在我身體裡面
那樣的聯繫永遠不會消失

168
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,441
我也有過,不然怎麼會有她們?

169
00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:05,319
- 爸,拜託
- 她又不是聖母瑪利亞

170
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,154
- 嘿,我回來了
- 嗨

171
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:10,241
我問你,你穿在
運動服外面那件是西裝外套嗎?

172
00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:11,784
不,是休閒外套

173
00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:14,453
還好就在我車上,嗨,大家好

174
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,454
- 嗨
- 他買了花

175
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,413
- 嗨
- 嗨

176
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,749
各位,他是諾亞

177
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:22,044
諾亞,這是我媽,這是我爸

178
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:22,962
我是派特

179
00:08:22,962 --> 00:08:24,713
- 很高興認識大家
- 諾亞

180
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,132
啊!猶太拉比

181
00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:30,469
你知道琳其實是希伯來的名字

182
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,012
- 哇
- 你確定?

183
00:08:33,264 --> 00:08:35,975
嗨,我是亨利,瓊安的爸

184
00:08:35,975 --> 00:08:37,977
- 先生,幸會
- 我的天

185
00:08:37,977 --> 00:08:40,354
- 你叫他“先生”我好想死
- 為什麼?

186
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,939
說不定我也會開始叫你“先生”

187
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:44,692
- 你敢
- 是,“先生”,馬上就開始了

188
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,528
派特,你太誇張了

189
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,991
諾亞,我不知道你這麼帥

190
00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:54,868
你長得好像歌手比利喬

191
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,996
- 他才不像
- 有點像,有人跟我說過

192
00:08:56,996 --> 00:09:01,166
你知道,他只晚我三天出生

193
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,459
媽,那種事沒什麼

194
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,752
你怎麼會知道那種事?

195
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,005
瓊安跟大學航空炸彈客同一天生

196
00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:07,673
- 對
- 謝謝你

197
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,301
我愛比利喬,好,女士,請收下

198
00:09:10,301 --> 00:09:13,345
拜託,叫我琳就好

199
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:14,263
好

200
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,015
這束花要送誰?

201
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,017
送你的

202
00:09:18,017 --> 00:09:19,226
- 送我的?
- 對

203
00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:21,270
為什麼?

204
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,273
為了表達敬意

205
00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:27,484
- 我沒有花瓶
- 我拿著就好

206
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:30,571
知道嗎?我去找個瓶子,好嗎?好

207
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,700
- 這束花好重哦
- 我來拿

208
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,327
- 好,諾亞
- 是

209
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:38,954
你對我女兒到底有什麼意圖?

210
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:42,791
你幹嘛裝出你真的是老爸的樣子?

211
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,252
- 我真的是啊
- 這個嘛

212
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,795
- 沒關係,亨利
- 幹嘛?

213
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,422
讓她表達她的感受

214
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,465
派特,謝謝你

215
00:09:49,465 --> 00:09:51,091
找到普瑞格義大利麵醬的罐子

216
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,968
啊!普瑞格

217
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,224
這是休閒外套

218
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,267
義大利麵醬!

219
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,394
謝謝,我喜歡比利喬

220
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,396
普瑞格!

221
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,439
為了表達敬意

222
00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:07,358
義大利麵醬!

223
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,943
- 你幹嘛說那麼大聲?
- 有嗎?

224
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,112
- 有,有點
- 好

225
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,405
- 好
- 對

226
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,202
知道嗎?花給我

227
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,288
你跟我來?好嗎?

228
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:24,124
好大一束花,還以為你要去參加葬禮

229
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,918
現在還早

230
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,211
好

231
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,674
聽著,我看到你的表情,你哎噁了

232
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:32,841
- 什麼?沒有
- 有

233
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,469
好,我覺得有點怪

234
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,680
他打扮得像跟年輕人傳教的時尚牧師

235
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,015
但我還是喜歡他

236
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:41,600
我沒有哎噁

237
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,435
甜心,你不能抗拒哎噁

238
00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:47,147
好嗎?哎噁就像手指陷阱
你越用力拉手指就卡越緊

239
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,899
我沒有哎噁,所以...

240
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:52,361
好,這是你美麗的花,害你哎噁的花

241
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,488
- 拿去放在...
- 你要,你很愛

242
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,865
- 夠了,不要說了
- 拜託,好

243
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,785
我不要這些花

244
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:04,873
好美

245
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:12,339
來泡冷水

246
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,259
我不想泡冷水,手指會發麻

247
00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:18,637
寶貝,別這麼沒種,進來

248
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:21,515
知道嗎?進去就進去

249
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,230
爸,你知道嗎?

250
00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:31,942
我每天都去上班,搞定鳥事

251
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:34,027
費格羅拉那塊地?我搞定的

252
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,739
巨石大道那個許可證?沒問題

253
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,699
誰幫你剝開心果

254
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:42,077
所以每天早上
你辦公桌上都有開心果讓你當零食?

255
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:42,995
是你兒子

256
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:48,083
我想當副總,我覺得是我應得的

257
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:51,128
這麼嘛

258
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,257
我一直在等你開口

259
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,050
等等,真的?

260
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,886
我只想看看你的膽識

261
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,430
好,副總,給你一個機會

262
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:04,057
明天開始,清晨五點戈爾德大道見

263
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,601
緊接著一連串的會議

264
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:08,103
你終於能看到你老爸做的每件事

265
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:11,857
好可愛,來吧

266
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,443
告訴艾絲特你會晚點回家吃晚飯

267
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:15,944
好

268
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,662
要命!冷死了,你怎麼受得了?

269
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:31,168
其實足科生意很穩定
幾乎每個人都有雙腳

270
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,338
你們兩個怎麼認識的?

271
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,341
- 肝
- 什麼?

272
00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:40,010
嘆氣表示你的肝火太旺

273
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,680
- 有道理
- 有嗎?

274
00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:48,811
- 我們是...
- 我們是...讓我說

275
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:51,772
- 這個故事很精彩
- 老天!好,因為你好可愛

276
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,525
- 好,準備好了?
- 對

277
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:59,279
好...我們是透過
同志交友軟體Grindr認識的

278
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,078
就這樣,太好了,不好意思

279
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,789
我以為你會多說一點,但很棒

280
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:12,376
只是那種地方很難找到真愛

281
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,670
所以我們的故事很獨特

282
00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:15,754
百分之百

283
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:19,424
好美的愛情故事,哪裡找到的?

284
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,801
- 透過Grindr
- 對

285
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,761
- 好
- 正是我想說的

286
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:25,681
諾亞,你似乎蠻進化也很開明

287
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:27,391
我問你一件事

288
00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:30,602
你會在你們的會堂
替同志證婚嗎?還是你們不容許?

289
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,104
好問題

290
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:36,233
我會,我也證婚過
但他們兩個都要是猶太人才可以

291
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:42,406
性向不是問題
但是猶太人、非猶太人就有點麻煩

292
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,075
哦,大家避不想談的事終於說開了

293
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:47,369
什麼?摩根,沒有這種事

294
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:49,329
我能替猶太人和皈依猶太教的人證婚

295
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,331
皈依猶太教的人被視為更接近上帝

296
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,542
- 哦
- 也許我們都該皈依

297
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:56,253
我是天主教,我不推薦

298
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,588
- 你不會?
- 不會

299
00:13:57,588 --> 00:14:03,302
他們教你...恨自己,你知道?

300
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,012
哦,派特

301
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,805
不,不好意思,我...

302
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,641
- 好,派特,我愛你
- 我也是

303
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:13,103
好棒,你們好恩愛

304
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,688
- 不好意思
- 你在這裡很安全

305
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:15,772
我又失控了

306
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,191
裡面好熱,我要出去透透氣

307
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,903
我也要出去透透氣,對

308
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,154
聽我說

309
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:23,655
我愛你

310
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,200
酒瓶遞給我好嗎?

311
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,452
當然

312
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:31,330
我們真的要透透氣
我以為我們要走人了

313
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:34,166
不,我只是需要出來一下

314
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:35,167
當然啦

315
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:38,503
我們坐下,好嗎?

316
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:39,796
- 好
- 深呼吸

317
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,511
- 真舒服
- 哦,對

318
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,846
普瑞格!

319
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:48,972
- 不要這樣!
- 幹嘛?

320
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,643
- 摩根!好噁!好
- 不好意思!我非說不可

321
00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:55,354
- 我有哎噁,好嗎?你高興了嗎?
- 我知道,對

322
00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:59,483
我不敢相信
我竟然讓他捧花的巨手碰我

323
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:02,861
哎噁,總是會出現

324
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,823
記得當我看到懷特
揹著後背包跑步的樣子?

325
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,576
每跑一步就拍打他的身體?

326
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,788
- 我真的替你難過
- 我知道!

327
00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:14,289
好可怕

328
00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:18,543
我快搬去跟安東尼同居時
我看到他去撿一顆乒乓球

329
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,753
結果始終沒撿到

330
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,797
他說不定現在還在追球跑

331
00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:25,258
他可能是我今生的真愛,但我不後悔

332
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,052
那種事看過就忘不了

333
00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,639
知道誰讓我最哎噁?

334
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,058
是爸,當他說:“我愛你”

335
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:35,811
他媽的哎噁,搞什麼?

336
00:15:35,811 --> 00:15:36,770
我不知道

337
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,773
他上一次說他愛我們是什麼時候?

338
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:40,941
他從來沒說過

339
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,489
老天,我真的要跟諾亞分手?好難過

340
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,366
聽著,這種事在所難免

341
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:54,121
- 你要怎麼跟他說?
- 我不知道

342
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,498
就像我跟馬可分手那樣吧

343
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,459
- 你怎麼跟他分手的?
- 我就不再回他簡訊

344
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,086
哦,對,那樣好

345
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,880
- 要不要去看酒櫃裡有什麼酒?
- 好,先生

346
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,759
諾亞,看看你做了什麼?
現在他開口閉口都叫我先生

347
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:08,885
哦,老天

348
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,305
你還好吧?

349
00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:17,352
我知道我應該“走出來”,但是...

350
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:19,896
我盡量

351
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:20,814
對

352
00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:22,983
不好意思,你一定很不好受

353
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,776
不要告訴瓊安

354
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:28,196
看到自己的爸爸那樣
她們兩姊妹已經夠不好受了

355
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,489
對,跟別人在一起?

356
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:33,493
不,這麼大方表達感情

357
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,663
看到跟派特在一起的亨利
我不覺得自己認識這個人

358
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,458
當他說:“我愛你”時
我心想:“這個人是誰?”

359
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:42,044
哇!我都不知道

360
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,086
還有她們姊妹

361
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:47,591
一向希望
多得到一點他的愛,少一點我的

362
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,344
你知道,女兒跟爸爸之間很微妙

363
00:16:54,473 --> 00:16:57,017
我只是試著撐過去

364
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:01,104
不管這樣說有沒有用
我認為你表現得很好

365
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:02,814
拉比,你說謊

366
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,150
但是個貼心的謊言

367
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,456
摩根,我可以跟瓊安談談嗎?

368
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:20,499
好

369
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,125
謝謝

370
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:27,839
諾亞,很高興能認識你

371
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,258
祝好運

372
00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:36,723
- 嘿
- 嗨

373
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:40,644
好,很顯然
我今天做了什麼把你嚇壞了

374
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:42,896
我打賭是那些花

375
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,941
- 太大把了,我看得出來
- 不只是一件事

376
00:17:45,941 --> 00:17:49,945
好,我希望你家人喜歡我
我想給他們留下好印象

377
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:53,573
沒有你想的那麼遜
所以我不會因為那樣道歉

378
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,993
說真的
我不覺得你是因為這樣不高興

379
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,746
你們家事情很多

380
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:03,333
我了解為什麼你防衛心這麼強,真的

381
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:07,212
你想怎麼自我破壞隨便你
但我覺得你應該從裡面走出來

382
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:08,547
因為瓊安...

383
00:18:10,549 --> 00:18:11,758
我在你這邊

384
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,679
我受得了你

385
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,268
是這件休閒外套嗎?

386
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:25,856
有部分是因為
你老是說那是“休閒外套”

387
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:29,192
- 是休閒外套,不重要
- 我要查證事實

388
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,360
重要的是這個

389
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:32,571
我真的喜歡你

390
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:38,201
非常喜歡,好嗎?你也是
所以就別再假裝你不喜歡我

391
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,787
好,我是

392
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:43,456
你是什麼?

393
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,501
我是喜歡你

394
00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:48,753
等等

395
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,216
你要在我穿這件休閒外套時說

396
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:54,509
不然就不算數

397
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,094
我不知道能不能說得出口

398
00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:58,805
讓我們成全這件事吧

399
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,892
- 對著休閒外套說也行
- 好

400
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:04,769
很不錯,對吧?

401
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:09,983
- 好,我真的喜歡你
- 我知道

402
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:15,947
但是你說“普瑞格”時還帶口音

403
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,200
我一說出口就知道錯了

404
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,492
- 不要啦!
- 我就知道!

405
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,829
想到你那樣說我就無法跟你上床

406
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,373
你想上樓測試一下嗎?

407
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,918
嘿,是你的肝

408
00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,462
所以要問的是

409
00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:34,925
一旦某人對你產生“負面看法”

410
00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:36,259
你能改變嗎?

411
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:41,848
我本來以為答案是沒辦法
但是要命,答案是肯定可以

412
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,058
好,等等

413
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:45,560
你是要先講重點,對吧?

414
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,772
所以好消息是瓊安有了一個新的男人

415
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:51,816
但我們不要說名字
我們就叫他“先知”好了

416
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:54,069
先知,好,我們應該事先討論

417
00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:56,571
先知做了一件不可能的事

418
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:59,407
他從哎噁的困境中走出來

419
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:03,912
這種事史無前例,哎噁無法逆轉

420
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:06,873
現在我們知道哎噁必須被打敗與征服

421
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:10,043
而且有辦法克服

422
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,212
對,沒錯

423
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,756
就在毀了過去幾集之後

424
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,925
他終於給我們有趣的話題

425
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:19,928
所以我們要感謝他
讓我妹像以前在節目上侃侃而談

426
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:22,973
我原本擔心要一個人做節目,所以...

427
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:24,599
沒有我就沒有這個播客

428
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:27,686
但是我等會吃晚飯時會替你跟他致謝

429
00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:29,688
我只想說他很棒

430
00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:33,441
我想我跟他是前世情人

431
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,901
- 老天,媽,很噁耶
- 很噁

432
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,945
為什麼上輩子的你
想跟我男朋友約會?

433
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,655
母親跟女兒一向喜歡同一種類型

434
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:41,116
- 媽,好噁
- 老天,好,不要再說了

435
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:44,411
好,就這樣
謝謝大家收聽,我要去尿尿

436
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:45,370
好

437
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:53,253
(沙夏:魯蛇哥哥現況更新)

438
00:20:56,172 --> 00:21:00,051
- (再說一次,我不是魯蛇)
- (我也不是,因為我升官了)

439
00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:04,449
字幕翻譯:韋家瑤