1
00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:03,879
{\an8}[bell ringing]
2
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:06,298
{\an8}- [man] All right, who's ready
to have a good time, huh?
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,342
That's right.
So welcome here.
4
00:00:08,384 --> 00:00:10,636
Uh, show of hands,
how many people have been
5
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,054
to a taping
of a TV show before?
6
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,556
- Thank you.
7
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:17,226
Okay, just remember,
the movie's hilarious.
8
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:18,519
Everyone buy tickets.
9
00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:20,813
- Let me ask you a question.
- Yeah?
10
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:21,897
- Do you think I'm good
in the movie?
11
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,107
- Come on, Kev,
I'm your agent.
12
00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:24,692
Of course, I think you're good
in the movie.
13
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:26,819
You know who else thinks
you're good in the movie?
14
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,863
The studio.
Now, go knock 'em dead.
15
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,532
Big smiles, big laughs,
you're America's funny man.
16
00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:33,701
- [man] The house band's gonna
play a little bit for ya,
17
00:00:33,743 --> 00:00:34,785
and, uh, we're gonna have
a great time, all right?
18
00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:36,579
- America's funny man.
19
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,331
[cheers and applause]
20
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,126
- Oh, now, Kev,
people are just raving
21
00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:43,461
about this new movie
of yours.
22
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,296
- Oh, my God,
they are raving.
23
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,674
- You are working with
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson,
24
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,760
playing
his comedy sidekick again.
25
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,344
What is this,
the sixth time now?
26
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,764
- Number six.
- How do you keep it so fresh?
27
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,516
- I mean, look,
Dwayne and I are, um,
28
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you know, we're friends.
29
00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,810
- Lucky.
- Hashtag, Jealous.
30
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,437
[laughing]
31
00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:04,023
- He's lucky, too.
He's lucky, too.
32
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,733
But, I mean, look,
when you are friends,
33
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,151
you feed off of each other,
34
00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:09,111
that energy, of course,
transfers.
35
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,488
But, uh, I don't know,
I would like to think
36
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:13,741
of my-my characters
as-as heroes as well.
37
00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:16,160
[laughing]
38
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- I don't know...
I don't know why the laugh.
39
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I'm very serious.
40
00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:23,292
You know, I've actually
I've been--
41
00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:24,960
I've been trying to become
a leading man,
42
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,213
you know, do more
of an action star thing,
43
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,465
but I've been-I've been
somewhat typecast.
44
00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:30,841
For some reason, people only
see me as the funny guy.
45
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,134
- You make me laugh.
- No.
46
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,135
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
47
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:34,261
Glad-glad, you know,
appreciate it.
48
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,597
- I'm not an easy audience.
[laughing]
49
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:37,681
- Yeah, you know,
but it's just it's--
50
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,100
I can do more
than show up
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00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,770
and do the funny
or do the dance. I'm--
52
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- Would you, though?
- Would you do that dance?
53
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,105
- Come on.
- Come on!
54
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,150
Who wants to see
Kevin dance, huh?
55
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,736
- We'll get
the "Macarena" going.
56
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:53,405
- No. No.
57
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,824
I'm not--
I'm not gonna dance.
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- Next time.
Next time then, for sure.
59
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- Now, here's just a question.
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Like, okay, when you--
when you see Idris Elba, right,
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00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,957
you see him and you go,
"Wow, that's an action star".
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00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,668
But if you took
six inches off of Idris,
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00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,211
nobody--
nobody's gonna give a shit.
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00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:08,712
- Okay-okay, just--
- Okay.
65
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,881
- Gentle reminder here,
it's a live broadcast.
66
00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:12,383
- Got it.
But you get my point.
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Nobody's gonna care.
- Right.
68
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,052
- All right,
if he was smaller.
69
00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:16,637
I mean, I don't think
I know any action stars
70
00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,139
that are 5'7".
Can we name one?
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00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:22,059
- There's, um...
Oh, there's Mr. Tom Cruise.
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- Oh, wonderful.
73
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- Who we love.
A favorite here on the show.
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- Okay. Tom Cruise.
That's one. All right.
75
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- Jackie Chan.
- Yeah!
76
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:30,359
- Isn't he great.
- Oh, he's a little guy.
77
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- I feel like
you're being a dick.
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00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,947
- Is-Is this a bit?
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00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,615
Are you guys--
is this a bit?
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00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,159
- I-I think it may have been.
Getting back to the movie,
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00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,328
tell us-tell us
just how great this movie is.
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- The, uh,
the movie's garbage.
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00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:46,917
- Sorry?
- Yeah, the movie's garbage.
84
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,587
Take the movie, ball it up,
throw it in the trash can.
85
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,964
How many times do you need
to see me in a car
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00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:53,883
with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
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00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,635
And I'm the comedy sidekick,
and he's saving lives,
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00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,013
and I got a catchphrase,
"Oh, hell no"?
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00:02:59,054 --> 00:02:59,972
- We love it
when you say that.
90
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,807
- Oh, good.
Can you do it again?
91
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,351
- Here's my question.
Why can't I be an action star?
92
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:07,605
- I read something online
about you being afraid
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00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,106
of woodland creatures.
94
00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:10,524
- Oh, yes.
- About me what?
95
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,609
- Beaver?
It was it a squirrel?
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00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:12,610
- Squirrel.
- A squirrel.
97
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:13,485
- It was a squirrel.
- Yes.
98
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:14,403
That you have a fear
of squirrels.
99
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:15,487
- Who's afraid of a squirrel?
100
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,864
- I'm not fuckin' afraid
of a squirrel.
101
00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,282
- Okay.
- Ooh.
102
00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:19,408
- I'm not afraid of shit!
- Okay, you've said it.
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You've made your point there.
- I'm not afraid of shit,
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and I'm more than just a guy
that does comedy.
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I'm a fuckin' action star,
all right?
106
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So why don't you start
taking me a little serious?
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Tell me what I am
and what I'm not.
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If I didn't have
what the fuck it takes,
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would I show this?
Or that?
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Back up.
- Yep.
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00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,426
- Kev, Kev, Kev.
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Kev, hey, you gotta go
back out there.
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Say it was a joke.
114
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- I'm not telling them
it was a joke.
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You don't get it, man.
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All right? I'm trying
to be taken seriously.
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My whole life, I've dreamed
of becoming an action hero.
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- Well, you know,
maybe instead of dreaming,
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you should just
stay in your own lane.
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- What the fuck
did you just say?
121
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- What are you doin'?
- Ooh!
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Pssshhh...
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- That was a bit.
Doin' a bit.
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{\an8}♪♪♪
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00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,579
{\an8}- [Kevin Hart] I'm not
afraid of [BLEEP]!
126
00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:06,872
{\an8}- [Mikey] Okay, you've said it.
You've made your point there.
127
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,165
{\an8}- [Kevin] I'm not afraid of [BLEEP].
- [Mikey] Yup.
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00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,375
{\an8}- [Kevin] And I'm more than just
a guy that does comedy.
129
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,126
{\an8}I'm a [BLEEP] action star,
all right?
130
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,379
{\an8}So why don't you start
[BLEEP] [BLEEP]?
131
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,130
{\an8}- [Leah] That was our star,
Kevin Hart.
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00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:19,802
{\an8}And apparently he's...
going through something.
133
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,428
{\an8}- To say the least.
You don't see Tom Cruise--
134
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:27,434
{\an8}[phone vibrating]
135
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,769
{\an8}- I already know
what you're gonna say.
136
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:30,854
{\an8}You're gonna say apologize,
then after that--
137
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:33,023
{\an8}- No, no, no, Kev,
it's too late to apologize.
138
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:35,985
{\an8}The studio already removed you
from the fuckin' billboard.
139
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,112
{\an8}- So I'm done?
Just like that, I'm done?
140
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,322
{\an8}- Maybe not.
141
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:43,158
{\an8}Claude Van De Velde
wants to meet with you.
142
00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,205
{\an8}- Claude Van De Velde?
143
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:49,164
{\an8}You talking about
the director?
144
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,874
{\an8}- Yes, Claude Van De Velde,
145
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,835
{\an8}director of four of the six
biggest action movies
146
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:56,380
{\an8}of all time,
saw the interview...
147
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,506
{\an8}and wants to meet.
148
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,216
{\an8}- Why?
149
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:00,843
{\an8}You know what?
It don't matter.
150
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,011
{\an8}It doesn't even
fucking matter.
151
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,722
{\an8}I'm there.
Okay? I'm there.
152
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:08,559
{\an8}Oh, shit.
153
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:16,442
{\an8}♪♪♪
154
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:20,529
{\an8}- I have seen all your films.
I like all your films.
155
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,865
{\an8}But you, Kevin,
you don't like your films.
156
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:26,410
- Wow, you can tell, huh?
- Of course I can tell.
157
00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:29,371
You and I,
we are the same.
158
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:32,791
My movies have grossed
billions of dollars.
159
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,043
Who cares?
- Yeah.
160
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,879
I mean, it's not about
the money, right?
161
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,966
- It is about finding yourself
inside an artistic expression.
162
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,718
- Yes.
163
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,221
- I want to find you, Kevin.
164
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,474
Will you let me find you?
165
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:52,436
- You found me.
I'm right here, man.
166
00:05:52,478 --> 00:05:55,981
- My next project is
a serious gritty action film.
167
00:05:56,023 --> 00:06:00,611
It requires
a serious, gritty actor.
168
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,821
You, Kevin.
169
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,532
I want you
in the leading role.
170
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,035
- Holy shit, man.
You gotta be--
171
00:06:08,077 --> 00:06:10,704
Excuse you. Watch it, man.
- My apologies, sir.
172
00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:13,415
- Mark Wahlberg would not
scream at a party server.
173
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:15,667
- Oh, I didn't scream.
I didn't scream.
174
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,128
- An action star
is tough, confident,
175
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:19,755
unfazed by minor details
176
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:22,966
that disrupt
the average person.
177
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,177
- Yeah, I-I was unfazed.
178
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,386
I wasn't fazed
at all from that.
179
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:28,555
- If you really want
this part,
180
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,308
I need you to attend
a training program.
181
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,895
All the best action stars
have gone through it.
182
00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:36,271
- Are you talkin'
like action star school?
183
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:40,567
- Stallone, Van Damme,
Steven Seagal,
184
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:43,112
Jackie Chan,
they're all alums.
185
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,738
- I just kind of assumed
all those guys
186
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,825
had to have the juice.
The mojo.
187
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,910
- Do you remember
what Matt Damon
188
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,871
was before
he was Jason Bourne?
189
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,456
- Yeah.
He just won an Oscar.
190
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,166
- Neither do I.
191
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,878
This program turned a no-name
Matt Damon into a leading man
192
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,588
revered around the world.
193
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,133
- Look,
with all due respect,
194
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:07,177
I don't need that. I don't--
I don't need none of that.
195
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,804
I'm ready now.
196
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:12,307
I'm ready right now.
197
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,018
- Down here, Kevin.
198
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,728
You don't think
you need training?
199
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,314
You want the part
right now?
200
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:23,485
Well, your new body is waiting
for you on that rooftop.
201
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:28,282
Go and get it.
202
00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:38,709
♪♪♪
203
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,586
[exhales]
204
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,589
- Oh, shit!
Ahh!
205
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,715
[gasping]
206
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,550
Help! Help me!
Help me!
207
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:48,343
- So good.
208
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,928
He's doing his famous
"help me" scene
209
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,471
from "Ride Along 2".
- Help!
210
00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:52,890
[applause]
211
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,102
- [Danny Morrison] Look, Kev,
I don't love the idea
212
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,896
of you driving out
to the middle of nowhere
213
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,981
to go to some--
- [Kevin] Action star school.
214
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:02,691
- [Danny] Right, yes.
That.
215
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,152
Kev, maybe we just
wait a little longer.
216
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,278
Eventually,
the studios will forget
217
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,696
how badly you fucked up,
218
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,780
and they'll offer you
a new sidekick role.
219
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,909
- No, this is my time
to shine.
220
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,369
You believe in me,
don't you?
221
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,748
Don't you?
Danny?
222
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:20,375
[phone beeping]
You believe in-- Oh, shit.
223
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,960
Damn reception.
224
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,760
♪♪♪
225
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,762
- Oh, hell no.
226
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:45,525
Ron Wilcox?
227
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,111
[squirrel chatters]
Oh, shit.
228
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,113
Don't be a bitch, Kevin.
229
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:53,951
Be Academy Award-winning
Matt Damon.
230
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,702
Get the fuck off my car.
231
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,875
Uh...
232
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,753
Hello?
233
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:08,674
Anybody here?
234
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,926
Claude Van De Velde,
he sent me.
235
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,552
- I don't know, you tell me
what you wanna tell me.
236
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,097
Why are you here?
Why are you here?
237
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,432
- Where's my nephew at?
- Uh, fellas?
238
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,600
- What do you mean
where's your nephew?
239
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,102
I don't know where the fuck
your nephew is.
240
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:25,148
- Hey, excuse me?
- Now you don't trust me?
241
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,067
- I know you murdered
my nephew, Rodrigo.
242
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:30,112
- Bullshit, motherfucker!
I didn't murder Rodrigo.
243
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,531
Look, you got your money.
I got my shipment.
244
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,574
I don't know
where Rodrigo is.
245
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,118
Maybe he's fucking
your mother.
246
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,577
- Oh, training
has already begun.
247
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:40,289
Okay. Uh...
248
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,582
- You. You. Oh, come on!
Bring it! Bring it!
249
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,626
Come on, bring that bat,
motherfucker!
250
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,753
- Hey!
251
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,423
You wanna
push somebody around?
252
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:52,467
Try me out.
253
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:56,096
- Hey, and what are you,
a tough guy?
254
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,889
- Goddamn right,
I'm a tough guy.
255
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,725
North Philadelphia tough.
256
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,893
I'm Kevin motherfucking--
257
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:06,732
[ringing droning]
258
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:10,902
[inhaling deeply]
Ah!
259
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,362
What the hell happened?
260
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,865
- Welcome to Ron Wilcox
Action Star School.
261
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,283
I'm Ron Wilcox,
262
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:17,659
and that was
your first lesson.
263
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,161
- Gettin' hit in the head
with a bat?
264
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:22,289
- Oh, you are naive.
That was a prop bat.
265
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,458
It that was made of plastic.
- Wasn't goddamn plastic.
266
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,625
I've been hit
with a bat before,
267
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,877
I know what a metal bat
fuckin' feel like.
268
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:28,295
- All right.
269
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,797
Hey, Mr. Van De Velde
told me to tell him
270
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,050
if you complain about
anything being too difficult.
271
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,551
- No.
No, no, no, no, no.
272
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:35,594
I'm not complaining.
- Mm-hmm.
273
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:36,511
- I'm not complaining
about nothing.
274
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:37,971
I loved that.
275
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:38,847
I thought it was great,
to be honest with you,
276
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,140
it gave me a rush.
277
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,017
- Good.
Let's take the tour.
278
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,935
- Yeah.
- Come on.
279
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,021
This place is to be
a slaughterhouse
280
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,105
up till the '70s.
281
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,815
And then,
as legend has it,
282
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,651
the animals revolted
against their tormentors
283
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,070
and they slaughtered
the humans.
284
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,613
- Oh, my God.
285
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,074
- And my pal, Charles Norris,
you know him as Chuck,
286
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,117
well, he needed a place
to train.
287
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,078
I bought it.
I mentored him.
288
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,580
And that's why he's the badass
that he is today.
289
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,624
- Hmm...
290
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:11,463
- Yeah, he nearly died
within these walls.
291
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:15,675
And that's how Ron Wilcox
Action Star School got born.
292
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,345
- Ron Wilcox A.S.S.,
for short.
293
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:19,971
- What the fuck
did you just say to me?
294
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,479
- Did Matt Da--
Matt Damon, go here?
295
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:31,775
- Oh, Matty boy!
Fuck yeah, Matt Damon!
296
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:33,777
Before he came to me,
he was a no name actor
297
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,987
from New England.
He was nothing.
298
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,366
He was a hundred pounds
soakin' wet.
299
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:40,784
- You sure we're talking about
the same Matt Damon?
300
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,536
- Hell yeah.
Matt Damon!
301
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,247
[cell phone ringing]
- Huh. Okay. Yeah--
302
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:48,917
- Un-unh. Rule number one,
no phones 'til you graduate.
303
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,210
- Okay.
I run an empire,
304
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:51,336
so unfortunately,
I need my--
305
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,629
- Okay, fine,
you know what I'll do?
306
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:53,755
I'll just call
Mr. Van De Velde,
307
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:55,715
and I tell him,
"Oh, the phone policy
308
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,760
"wasn't working for him.
It wasn't to his liking."
309
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,762
I know what
you're gonna do with this.
310
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,347
You're going to make calls
to Hollywood.
311
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,099
You're gonna say,
"Hello, Hollywood.
312
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,684
"Ron's school
is too tough for me.
313
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,352
"I need more drugs."
- No.
314
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,396
- Yeah, you're gonna say,
"Oh, I'm Kevin Hart.
315
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,690
"I need more caviar
and champagne."
316
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,192
- I just wanna talk
to my employees.
317
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,403
- That's fine,
but I'm still keeping it.
318
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,196
- Okay.
319
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,326
- Okay, until you graduate,
320
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,745
you are forbidden from
visiting the outside world.
321
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:28,081
You'll stay here.
- Say what?
322
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:30,167
- You got your bed,
you got your toilet,
323
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,920
you got your sink.
All the modern amenities.
324
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:39,968
[water running sputtering,
pipes creaking]
325
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,595
- Okay.
326
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,139
It's supposed
to toughen me up.
327
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,391
Okay, I get it.
328
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:50,061
Yeah, I'm good with that.
329
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,856
Yeah, might be a little
too good with it.
330
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:56,902
- And rule number two,
No fucking on the premises.
331
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,488
No anal, no blowjobs,
no nothin'.
332
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:05,285
- Who else is here?
333
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,162
- Just me.
334
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,002
Twenty minutes
'til lights out.
335
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,550
- So those--
336
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,177
those two Colombian guys
that hit me in the head
337
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,054
with the prop bat,
they were actors, right?
338
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,556
- Yeah, exactly.
339
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,059
Okay, rule number three,
340
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,937
When you're under this roof,
your name is no longer Kevin,
341
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,397
it's Agent Hart,
and you'll refer to me
342
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:38,401
as Ron Wilcox, or Ron,
or Wilcox, or Coach Ron.
343
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,528
- I like Coach Ron.
344
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,279
- And I refer to you as...
- Agent Hart.
345
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,322
- Right.
- Right.
346
00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:43,490
- Yes.
- See, I'm on it.
347
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,867
Now I assume you got me in
this FBI jacket
348
00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,911
and stuff for a reason.
So, what is it?
349
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,746
- Hey, would you do me
a favor?
350
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:50,997
- Yeah.
351
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,542
- Kevin, would you
grab that chair for me?
352
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:54,543
- Yeah.
- Would you?
353
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,461
- You mean this one?
- No, goddammit!
354
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,880
I said respond
only to Agent Hart!
355
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:03,301
- Fuck!
356
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,470
You just said that.
I fucked up. I'm sorry.
357
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,680
That's not gonna
happen again.
358
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,056
Why don't you just
call me Kevin?
359
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,016
- Okay, in your life,
have you ever heard
360
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:14,896
an action star leading man
ever called Kevin?
361
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,356
- I mean, Kevin James
in "Mall Cop".
362
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:18,900
- No, no. Kevin is the name
of a punk bitch.
363
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:21,736
Ethan Hunt,
that is an action star name.
364
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,738
Tom Cruise was my alumni.
365
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,657
For nine years of his life,
366
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:28,368
he only responded
to Ethan Hunt
367
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,870
whether he was
on-camera or off-camera.
368
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:33,248
Whether he was in the shower,
or on the toilet.
369
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,958
Whether he was fucking,
or not fucking.
370
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,293
- Okay, I--
- If he was even--
371
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:40,171
- I understand, Coach Ron!
- Do you? Do you really?
372
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,508
I hope so, for your sake.
373
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,303
Because your life
depends on it.
374
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,888
Okay, next lesson.
375
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,849
Every leading man
needs to know
376
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,642
how to run into
a burning building
377
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,019
and save a stranger.
- Hmm.
378
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,942
- Wow!
379
00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:03,069
Holy shit.
How'd you do that, man?
380
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:05,739
- And the stranger that
we are going to save today
381
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:10,410
is our own action star dummy,
little Kevin.
382
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,831
- That's supposed to be me?
- I don't see the resemblance.
383
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,082
- Are you fucking kidding?
384
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,085
- No, w-we've had this dummy
for years, buddy.
385
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,047
- [Kevin] Oh, hell, no.
- Bitch, that's my line.
386
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,715
I've said that line in,
like, twelve movies.
387
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,342
- Agent Hart,
are you a narcissist?
388
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,760
- No.
389
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,011
- Do you think the whole world
is all about you?
390
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,638
- That's not-- I'm not--
- No.
391
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,681
You look at you
and then you look at him.
392
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,642
- That's what--
- Look at you, and look at him.
393
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:37,103
Do you see any resemblance?
- Kind of sort of, man!
394
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,273
O-Okay, all right.
Okay, maybe I'm crazy.
395
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,275
- [Kevin] Help!
Help me!
396
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:45,695
Oh, hell no!
Help! Help me!
397
00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:47,322
Oh, hell no!
398
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:50,033
- Now, safety during stunts
is of the utmost importance.
399
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,660
- Yeah, but I mean,
that's why you got stuntmen,
400
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,788
right?
- Watch it.
401
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,414
- No, for the other guys,
not for me.
402
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,625
T-the lightweights.
I don't--
403
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,586
- Okay, your jacket
is flame retardant,
404
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,588
which means that
if you catch on fire,
405
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,633
don't panic, I will come in
and put you out.
406
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:09,177
- Okay.
Y-You're gonna--
407
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:10,887
Okay, I feel-I feel good--
I feel good about that.
408
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:13,765
- When you're ready,
I want you to storm the house,
409
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,518
find the victim,
and bring him to safety.
410
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,895
[growling]
411
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,814
- What is that?
412
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,440
What are you doing?
I do--
413
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,110
[barking]
- Psyching myself up.
414
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,988
[barking]
415
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,241
[howling]
416
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,993
It's hot!
Hot!
417
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:38,540
[barking]
418
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:43,211
[coughing]
419
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:48,341
It's fucking hot!
420
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,219
Where the fuck are you at?
Oh, God.
421
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:54,055
Oh, fuck, I can't see shit!
422
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:56,266
Little Kev?
423
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:59,185
- Excuse me,
are you Ron Wilcox?
424
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,312
- Oh, hello.
How are you?
425
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,606
- Jordan King.
- We've been waiting for you.
426
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,817
- Help! Help me!
427
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,694
- I've got you, little Kev.
- Oh, hell no!
428
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,821
- I'm about to save
your little beautiful black ass.
429
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,574
- Help! Help me!
430
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,242
Oh, hell no!
431
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,493
- What the fuck?
432
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,370
Who is this?
- Help! Help me!
433
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,998
Oh, hell no!
- What the--
434
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,418
- Help! Help me!
Oh, hell no!
435
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,211
- It's fucking hot!
436
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,504
Get your ass up.
437
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,007
- Yeah, um,
I'm just so nervous.
438
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,384
I've never been in
an action movie before.
439
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:33,011
I just wanna bring
my A-game here.
440
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,180
- 90% is mental, okay?
- Oh, shit-- Oh, shit!
441
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,849
- You are gonna be fantastic.
[screaming]
442
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,393
I just know it.
- Oh, shit.
443
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,562
Is he okay?
- Oh, God.
444
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,689
You leave this guy alone
for five seconds.
445
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,024
Geez.
- Put me out! Put me out!
446
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,610
Put me out! Put me out!
Put me out!
447
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,032
- Is he okay?
- Oh, he's fine.
448
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,700
Gal Gadot was training with me,
449
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,535
she was on fire
for twelve minutes.
450
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,746
She put herself out
with a blanket.
451
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:02,373
He barely lasted
twelve seconds.
452
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,125
- Is this funny to you?
453
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,253
- Hey, a leading man must learn
not to sweat the small stuff.
454
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,088
- What are you talking about
the small stuff?
455
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,007
I was on fucking fire,
Coach Ron!
456
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:12,509
- Hey, knock it off!
457
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,886
There's a lady present,
and I want you to meet her.
458
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,138
Agent Hart,
this is Agent Jordan King.
459
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,264
She'll be your bunkmate.
460
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,891
- It is a pleasure
to meet you.
461
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,476
My pleasure.
Okay, you wanna explain to me
462
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,353
why she get
this nice introduction?
463
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,146
Why isn't she getting
hit in the head with a bat?
464
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,898
When are you gonna bop her?
- Excuse me?
465
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,275
- Okay, you know, just...
466
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,653
When he does this kind of thing,
I just zone him out.
467
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,738
When he starts to whine.
Come on, I'll give you a tour.
468
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,949
- Okay.
469
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,659
- Now, this used to be
a slaughterhouse years ago,
470
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,118
up until the 70's...
471
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:43,957
♪♪♪
472
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,875
- ...which brings me
to rule number two.
473
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:48,795
There'll be no sexual
intercourse on the premises.
474
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:53,174
- Uh, yeah, um,
that won't be a problem.
475
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:55,552
[laughter]
476
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,887
- I didn't think it would be.
477
00:18:57,929 --> 00:19:01,683
- I know you have to say it.
I-It's fine, we're good.
478
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,601
- All right.
So, hey, take a beat, okay?
479
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,728
Relax, and we'll see you
out in twenty
480
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,106
on the training ground, okay?
481
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,524
- Thanks, Ron.
You're the best.
482
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,652
- Hey, it's a pleasure.
483
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:16,114
[laughing]
484
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,867
- He's a fucking sociopath.
485
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,578
- How do you mean?
- How do I mean?
486
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,162
Do you really wanna know
how I mean?
487
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,205
Because I was here
a couple days ago
488
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,623
and shit hit the fan.
489
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,041
There was a guy in here
accusing him
490
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,335
of murdering some dude
named Rodrigo.
491
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,170
- Rodrigo?
- Yes, Rodrigo.
492
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,255
Saw a whole thing.
493
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,548
And when I first
walked in this bitch,
494
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,258
they hit me in the head
with a bat.
495
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,844
Not no plastic bat.
With a fucking metal bat!
496
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,513
And today, today he let me
catch myself on fire!
497
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:43,141
- "Let me catch
myself on fire"?
498
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,392
- I don't know why
you gotta sound it out.
499
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:47,687
Yes. Let me catch--
no, I see why you did that.
500
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,147
Because if you slow it down,
501
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,064
you slow down,
it don't sound right.
502
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,482
But you get what I'm saying.
503
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,860
It happened.
It fucking happened.
504
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,111
Look, I'm sorry, all right?
505
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,738
It's just,
I don't have my phone,
506
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,698
it's weird in here,
507
00:19:58,740 --> 00:19:59,908
and stuff is just starting to
fuck with me.
508
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,702
Maybe-maybe I'm going
a little stir crazy.
509
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,038
I don't know.
510
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:09,042
That's shit.
That's shit water.
511
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,169
Yep, God damn.
512
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,923
- Well, you're
not alone anymore, so...
513
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:20,720
- Yeah, well, maybe, but--
Hey, do I know you?
514
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:24,015
- Oh.
515
00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,976
- I do!
Fuck!
516
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,270
You're the girl from
that sitcom with the robot.
517
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,563
The robot that was
a butler, right?
518
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:31,689
You used to argue
with the butler,
519
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,733
"Uh-uh,
get the fuck out of here".
520
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,860
You'd do the thing,
"Butler, bitch".
521
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,987
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
522
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,697
- That's me.
- Wow.
523
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,992
- Well, was.
I just quit.
524
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,745
Kathryn Bigelow offered me
the lead in her next movie,
525
00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:48,623
which is huge, since there are,
like, what,
526
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:51,167
three total action roles
for women?
527
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:52,835
- Oh, it's a lot
more than that.
528
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,797
But congrats.
529
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:59,008
Are you-- I mean,
you want me to name 'em?
530
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,094
I can go down the list.
You got Wonder Woman, right?
531
00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:02,637
You know, the Black Widow.
532
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:07,558
You got, um, what was the one
with the woman with the, uh--
533
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,688
she's, uh-- what's--
that's three.
534
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:16,025
- Anyway, um, it's all riding on
this action school.
535
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,194
I've just gotta prove to Ron
that I've got the chops,
536
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,445
that I'm fit enough.
537
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,364
- You ain't gotta
prove that to nobody.
538
00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,533
You are fit.
539
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:27,203
When you walked in that door
I said, "God damn."
540
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,163
Not like that.
541
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:32,083
I'm not saying it like that.
I don't mean it that way.
542
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,501
- I'm just here to train--
- Yeah.
543
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:36,587
- ...not make friends.
So, just to be clear.
544
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,923
- We're-we're here for
the same thing, right?
545
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,091
Fuck friendship.
- Good.
546
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,969
- Yeah.
547
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:45,096
- Mind if I use the bathroom?
- Do what you gotta do.
548
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:46,681
The bathroom right there.
549
00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:50,226
- Yeah, I'm gonna
need you to just...
550
00:21:50,268 --> 00:21:54,188
- Oh. You gotta shit.
551
00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:59,235
- Now in this lesson,
we're going to focus
552
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:02,864
and explore the action star's
motivations.
553
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:05,241
Agent King,
what is your motivation?
554
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,993
- After working undercover
in Paris,
555
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,870
I go down to the basement
of the Louvre,
556
00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:11,831
where I thwart the theft of
an ancient Egyptian artifact
557
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:14,083
when I'm accosted by
a rogue agent.
558
00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,544
- Good, Agent Hart.
- Accost?
559
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:17,628
That's a little strong,
isn't it?
560
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:21,799
- What the fuck?
Focus. Focus.
561
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:24,594
And...
562
00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:26,512
- Okay, all right.
I-I'm an agent.
563
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:29,223
- Yes.
- I'm an agent, and, um,
564
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:32,185
basically, I gotta-I gotta
go get Agent King.
565
00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:35,104
I gotta seduce--
I gotta seduce Agent King
566
00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:36,647
in the basement of the Louvre.
567
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:38,441
And just a question,
is this, like,
568
00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:41,360
some James Bond fan fiction?
- And, action.
569
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:52,288
- Agent King?
570
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:55,500
- Who wants to know?
- Agent Hart.
571
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,919
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
572
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,837
Not so fast.
573
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:02,381
Look, you're in great danger,
574
00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:05,635
and the only cure for it
is to come with me to my bed.
575
00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:11,015
♪♪♪
576
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,059
- Seduce her,
god damn it!
577
00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:14,393
[screaming]
578
00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:18,231
Seduce her.
Lure her into the car.
579
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:27,949
- In the car.
580
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:30,118
In my car.
581
00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:33,162
- Fucking creep.
582
00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:41,838
[groans]
583
00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:43,589
- What the fuck was that?
- Beautiful, beautiful.
584
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,049
Keep going.
Keep going.
585
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,135
- What the fuck you mean,
"Keep going"?
586
00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,469
What the fuck, man?
587
00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:49,887
- Do you have a problem,
Agent Hart?
588
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:50,930
- Yeah, I got a problem,
motherfucker!
589
00:23:50,972 --> 00:23:52,306
- What is it?
590
00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:53,766
- She's Bruce Lee,
and I'm some weird creeper.
591
00:23:53,808 --> 00:23:55,935
- Oh, it's too challenging
for you to seduce her.
592
00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:57,812
Is that it?
- Uh, yes, it is.
593
00:23:57,854 --> 00:23:59,897
When you got me, looking--
594
00:24:03,234 --> 00:24:05,736
I see what you're doing.
595
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:07,655
You're trying to get me
all riled up.
596
00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:08,698
It's not gonna work.
597
00:24:08,739 --> 00:24:10,408
I'm not falling for
your little trap
598
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:11,409
and I'm not going
back over here
599
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,327
to fight this
fucking jujitsu master
600
00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:14,620
with sexy talk.
601
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:16,789
- Oh, you want
a change of motivation?
602
00:24:16,831 --> 00:24:17,915
- Yeah, I do.
- Okay.
603
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:19,709
This is your new motivation.
604
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,378
She's a Russian mole
pretending to be an FBI agent.
605
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:26,174
You eliminate her with this.
606
00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:29,510
- It's a prop knife, right?
- Retractable.
607
00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:32,180
Now go in there and
show her who's boss.
608
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:35,641
- Now we're fucking talking.
609
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:37,894
You said
she's a Russian mole, right?
610
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:40,771
Okay, I don't like that.
Down goes the mole, huh?
611
00:24:45,943 --> 00:24:48,154
Shit!
Oh, god damn it.
612
00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:50,740
Hey, I'm about to stab you
in the side, okay?
613
00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:54,660
With--
it's a prop knife.
614
00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:55,912
What the?
615
00:24:55,953 --> 00:24:57,955
Oh, you gotta sell it.
Make it look real.
616
00:24:57,997 --> 00:25:01,125
[shouts]
617
00:25:03,628 --> 00:25:05,963
- Ah, what the fuck?
618
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:09,050
Ah!
- Real blood.
619
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:11,552
- Oh, my God.
- What have you done to her?
620
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:14,013
What have you done to her?
- I'm so sorry.
621
00:25:14,055 --> 00:25:15,932
I thought-I thought you said
it was retractable.
622
00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:17,725
- I said it was practical.
623
00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:20,019
It's a practical knife!
It's a real knife!
624
00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:21,145
- Oh, my God.
- Oh God.
625
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,980
She's passing out now.
- Oh, shit!
626
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,023
- I'm gonna have to
stitch her up.
627
00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:25,358
I've got a medical kit
in my office.
628
00:25:25,399 --> 00:25:26,484
- Fine, I will grab it.
- No!
629
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:28,653
- Ow, ow, ow.
- Go to your room.
630
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:29,737
You're grounded!
- No.
631
00:25:29,779 --> 00:25:30,655
What are you talking about?
I'll go grab it.
632
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,865
- No!
633
00:25:32,907 --> 00:25:35,868
My office is off limits
to students.
634
00:25:37,286 --> 00:25:42,124
♪♪♪
635
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:45,920
I said my office
is off limits.
636
00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:47,713
If you disobey me again,
637
00:25:47,755 --> 00:25:49,840
the next time
I throw that knife
638
00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:51,634
will be through
your fucking skull.
639
00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:59,934
♪♪♪
640
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:05,273
- Hey.
641
00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:08,067
I brought you some breakfast
as a peace offering.
642
00:26:08,109 --> 00:26:09,694
The food here
is a little tricky.
643
00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:11,988
It's just a closet
full of beef jerky.
644
00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:13,572
Apparently,
Macho Man Randy Savage
645
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:16,701
was an alum here and
he left his entire food supply
646
00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:18,995
to Ron in his will, so...
647
00:26:19,036 --> 00:26:21,914
Snap into a Slim Jim?
648
00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:23,666
- Care to join me
for breakfast?
649
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:27,628
- Of course.
Jerky for two.
650
00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:29,297
Hmm.
651
00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:33,467
Um, look,
I'm going to apologize.
652
00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:36,721
You know, I didn't mean to...
- Stab me?
653
00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:38,848
- Well, I wasn't
gonna use those words.
654
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:41,350
Look, Ron--
Ron is crazy.
655
00:26:41,392 --> 00:26:43,728
I'm serious.
He's-he's nuts.
656
00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:45,896
Sick in the head crazy.
657
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:48,065
And I'm convinced that
that motherfucker
658
00:26:48,107 --> 00:26:49,984
killed a dude named Rodrigo.
659
00:26:50,026 --> 00:26:51,569
And the motherfucker
tried to kill me
660
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,321
just for being
around his office.
661
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:56,407
And as far as your arm goes,
I know you think I'm lying,
662
00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:58,117
I heard retractable.
663
00:26:58,159 --> 00:27:00,244
- You know, I've dated
guys like you before.
664
00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:02,580
It's always
someone else's fault.
665
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,165
- That's not true.
666
00:27:04,206 --> 00:27:06,375
That's not true at all.
When I'm wrong, I--
667
00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:07,793
I shouldn't say that,
'cause I'm never wrong.
668
00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:09,545
If-- If I'm wrong,
669
00:27:09,587 --> 00:27:11,839
I have no problem admitting
that I'm wrong.
670
00:27:11,881 --> 00:27:15,843
But in this case, I'm not.
He said "retractable."
671
00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:19,263
- Hey, part of me
is glad you stabbed me.
672
00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:21,474
It's a badge of honor.
673
00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:23,934
I heard when Jason Statham
came through here,
674
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:26,395
he got stabbed
directly in the heart.
675
00:27:26,437 --> 00:27:27,480
- Did he survive that?
676
00:27:27,521 --> 00:27:29,648
- He shot "Transporter"
like a week later.
677
00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:32,193
- What the fuck?
In the heart?
678
00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:33,569
They stabbed him in the heart?
- Yup, right through it.
679
00:27:33,611 --> 00:27:35,196
- God damn it.
680
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,531
Maybe I'm just doing
the wrong fucking thing here.
681
00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:42,244
I mean, maybe this just
isn't for me, you know?
682
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:45,122
- So just leave.
Go home.
683
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:46,999
I'm sure
there's a real hero somewhere
684
00:27:47,041 --> 00:27:50,169
in need of a goofy sidekick.
- Okay, that backfired.
685
00:27:50,211 --> 00:27:51,754
I thought that you would
go the opposite direction
686
00:27:51,796 --> 00:27:54,131
and tell me that,
no, I should stay.
687
00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:56,258
And that this is for me.
688
00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:58,219
That's what I thought.
689
00:27:58,260 --> 00:27:59,553
- Well what do you
want me to say?
690
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:01,972
If you need extra motivation
to be the star
691
00:28:02,014 --> 00:28:06,602
of a Claude Van De Velde movie,
you're in the wrong business.
692
00:28:06,644 --> 00:28:09,939
This is probably my only shot
to be a big action star,
693
00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:12,566
so I'm not gonna blow it.
694
00:28:12,608 --> 00:28:15,111
I'll do anything it takes.
695
00:28:17,947 --> 00:28:20,324
- You're right.
696
00:28:20,366 --> 00:28:23,702
You are absolutely right.
697
00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:25,788
I need to stop
all the bitching and moaning.
698
00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:27,957
I need to cowboy the fuck up.
699
00:28:27,998 --> 00:28:31,168
- There you go.
700
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,340
- When I first started
in the business
701
00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:38,050
training action stars,
702
00:28:38,092 --> 00:28:40,553
every stunt scene was practical,
703
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:43,722
or as Kevin might say,
retractable.
704
00:28:43,764 --> 00:28:45,724
- Oh, that's really good.
That's great.
705
00:28:45,766 --> 00:28:46,684
It's not funny.
706
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,893
- But the industry
has changed.
707
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:49,437
You can't even be
an action star
708
00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:51,939
without, well,
knowing how to work green.
709
00:28:51,981 --> 00:28:54,608
- I'm very familiar
with a green screen.
710
00:28:54,650 --> 00:28:56,193
I mean, I've done about
15 movies
711
00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:57,736
where we've had a green screen.
712
00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:00,406
- In which of those 15 movies
were you the leading man?
713
00:29:00,448 --> 00:29:02,408
Any idiot can jump
on a green screen
714
00:29:02,450 --> 00:29:05,286
and pretend to be eaten by
a CG dragon.
715
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:07,204
Hell, even little Kevin
can do that.
716
00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:08,581
- Oh, hell no!
717
00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:11,333
- Okay, who's finding the time
to dress him like me?
718
00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:12,585
It's really--
719
00:29:12,626 --> 00:29:14,503
- Okay, question,
what does a leading woman,
720
00:29:14,545 --> 00:29:17,381
or leading man,
get to do onscreen
721
00:29:17,423 --> 00:29:19,675
that sidekicks don't?
- Win fights.
722
00:29:19,717 --> 00:29:22,887
- Murder bad guys.
- Make love.
723
00:29:22,928 --> 00:29:25,514
Today's lesson
is in love making.
724
00:29:25,556 --> 00:29:28,100
- Yes!
On the green screen.
725
00:29:28,142 --> 00:29:29,727
Are we doing it
on the green screen?
726
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:31,270
- Bingo.
- Nice.
727
00:29:31,312 --> 00:29:34,023
Adding effects to the bed,
to the walls, cracking 'em.
728
00:29:34,064 --> 00:29:35,399
- Okay, I'm gonna be candid,
729
00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:38,027
I don't want to do
a sex scene with him.
730
00:29:38,068 --> 00:29:39,445
- That's fine,
731
00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:40,321
'cause I don't wanna do
a sex scene with her.
732
00:29:40,404 --> 00:29:42,364
Ugh.
733
00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:46,285
[laughter]
734
00:29:46,327 --> 00:29:47,703
What's so funny?
735
00:29:47,745 --> 00:29:50,289
- Okay, well, look at you,
and then look at her.
736
00:29:50,331 --> 00:29:53,542
And look at you, then her.
Then you, then her.
737
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:54,793
- Okay, I don't get the joke.
738
00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:56,128
What is it?
What am I missing?
739
00:29:56,170 --> 00:29:57,505
- All right,
let me put it another way.
740
00:29:57,546 --> 00:30:01,133
Uh, look at you,
and then look at her.
741
00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:02,635
Then look at you,
and then her.
742
00:30:02,676 --> 00:30:05,721
- Can we just get this shit
over with, please?
743
00:30:05,763 --> 00:30:08,182
- Okay, let's discuss
motivation.
744
00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:11,602
All right, now, after
almost killing each other,
745
00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:13,646
Agent Hart and Agent King
746
00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:15,689
discover that they're
on the same team.
747
00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:18,734
After defusing a bomb
at the top of a skyscraper
748
00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:21,278
in-in the middle of
an earthquake,
749
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,822
you discover
this overwhelming passion
750
00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:25,824
for each other.
751
00:30:26,909 --> 00:30:27,826
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
752
00:30:27,868 --> 00:30:29,119
We're at the top
of a skyscraper
753
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:29,954
in the middle
of an earthquake?
754
00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:32,206
- Yes! Yes! Goddamn it!
755
00:30:32,248 --> 00:30:34,416
You are the dumbest actor
that I have ever worked with.
756
00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:36,210
Go! Action!
757
00:30:37,962 --> 00:30:39,755
- Red wire or blue wire?
758
00:30:39,797 --> 00:30:41,090
- It's gotta be the red.
759
00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:42,174
- Are you sure?
760
00:30:42,216 --> 00:30:44,718
Agent Hart, are you sure?
- I don't know.
761
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,762
[beeping]
762
00:30:46,804 --> 00:30:52,935
♪♪♪
763
00:30:52,977 --> 00:30:55,020
[relieved sighs]
764
00:30:55,062 --> 00:31:10,452
♪♪♪
765
00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:12,454
- Earthquake! Earthquake!
766
00:31:12,496 --> 00:31:13,831
The building's falling apart!
767
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:16,083
- Oh, uh, Okay, um...
- Okay.
768
00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:18,043
- Good-- great.
769
00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:19,587
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
770
00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:22,047
Oh! Shit!
Hold on.
771
00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,966
Wait-- Oh.
772
00:31:24,008 --> 00:31:25,426
Where you at?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
773
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:26,510
- Kevin.
- Hold on, wait!
774
00:31:26,552 --> 00:31:28,095
Give me a second.
Shit!
775
00:31:28,137 --> 00:31:29,430
- Okay.
- Okay.
776
00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:31,015
All right, come on.
It's an earthquake.
777
00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:32,099
It's an earthquake, fuck.
778
00:31:32,141 --> 00:31:33,767
- Yeah.
- Go.
779
00:31:33,809 --> 00:31:36,645
- Agent Hart, I can't believe
we just diffused that bomb.
780
00:31:36,687 --> 00:31:38,939
We just saved thousands
of lives, maybe millions.
781
00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:42,610
- This earthquake's gotta be
about a 7.5 magnitude.
782
00:31:42,651 --> 00:31:46,238
This could be our last time
being together before we die.
783
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,325
- Now kiss her neck softly
and start fucking.
784
00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:51,118
- What? Wait.
785
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,870
Kiss-kiss her neck
and then start fucking?
786
00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:55,331
- Kiss her neck softly
and start fucking!
787
00:31:55,372 --> 00:31:57,791
- Oh, okay.
788
00:31:57,833 --> 00:31:59,168
I'm just gonna do it,
'cause that's what he's--
789
00:31:59,209 --> 00:32:00,502
- Yeah, no, it's fine.
790
00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,379
- Yeah, put your--
Give me that.
791
00:32:02,421 --> 00:32:04,590
- [Ron] Be sexy!
Do something!
792
00:32:04,632 --> 00:32:06,091
- Grab my leg.
- Yeah, give me this one.
793
00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:08,052
- Have you never
had sex before?
794
00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:09,386
Do it!
795
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:10,929
- That's not--
- We need to be upright.
796
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,014
One second, that's it.
- Give me that.
797
00:32:12,056 --> 00:32:13,766
- [Ron] Go! Go!
798
00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:16,894
- Agent Hart, no.
We shouldn't do this.
799
00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:19,897
It's against Bureau
protocol.
800
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:22,316
- Well, protocol was
meant to be broken.
801
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:27,905
Ah, whoa!
Ah, help!
802
00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:29,823
Help! Don't drop me!
Don't drop me!
803
00:32:29,865 --> 00:32:31,325
Please don't let go!
Don't let go!
804
00:32:31,367 --> 00:32:32,576
- I won't, I've got you.
805
00:32:32,618 --> 00:32:34,912
- Don't let go!
- I've got you, I promise.
806
00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:36,997
- [Claude] Can you push in
a little closer?
807
00:32:37,039 --> 00:32:38,832
- Help me! Help me!
808
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:40,334
I'm too young to die.
809
00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:42,419
- Any closer, they'll
see the cameras.
810
00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:44,338
- Okay, good, hold there.
[Kevin screaming]
811
00:32:44,380 --> 00:32:46,131
- I got you.
- Perfect.
812
00:32:46,173 --> 00:32:47,591
- Help!
- Kevin,
813
00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,468
you're like one foot
off the ground.
814
00:32:49,510 --> 00:32:51,720
- You cannot teach
acting like that.
815
00:32:51,762 --> 00:32:53,222
- [Jordan King] I'm just gonna
let you down, okay?
816
00:32:53,263 --> 00:32:54,682
- [Kevin] Ah!
817
00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:59,103
[owl hooting]
818
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:01,397
- Okay, lights out,
twenty minutes.
819
00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:03,399
No funny business.
820
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,275
And no fucking!
821
00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:13,409
♪♪♪
822
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:14,827
- Now do you believe me?
823
00:33:14,868 --> 00:33:17,287
He's a fucking psychopath.
824
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:19,581
- Okay, it does seem like
an odd coincidence
825
00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:21,250
your wires just snapped.
826
00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:23,293
- Coincidence?
[indistinct]
827
00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:26,547
Those lines are strong enough
to hold a goddamn elephant.
828
00:33:26,588 --> 00:33:28,757
Where's your phone at?
- He confiscated it.
829
00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:43,063
♪♪♪
830
00:33:44,773 --> 00:33:47,818
- Kevin, he said lights out.
We can't leave.
831
00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:49,403
- He's not
my camp counselor.
832
00:33:49,445 --> 00:33:50,612
You know what I'm gonna do?
833
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:53,031
I'm about to go, I'm about
to get my phone back,
834
00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:54,408
and I'mma see what other
weird shit he hide
835
00:33:54,450 --> 00:33:57,619
in this office that
he don't want me to see.
836
00:33:57,661 --> 00:33:59,913
- Kevin, don't.
837
00:33:59,955 --> 00:34:14,261
♪♪♪
838
00:34:19,016 --> 00:34:21,059
[knocking]
839
00:34:24,271 --> 00:34:25,647
- Claude.
- Ronny, baby!
840
00:34:25,689 --> 00:34:28,192
[laughter]
- Garçon.
841
00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:31,320
- Have a seat.
- Ah.
842
00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:34,948
Uh, pull up
scene 12, please.
843
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:36,533
Have a seat.
844
00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:41,038
- This is a bad idea.
- This is a good idea.
845
00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:43,332
Wilcox won't murder me
in front of you.
846
00:34:43,373 --> 00:34:45,250
Come on, there's his office.
Come on.
847
00:34:47,211 --> 00:34:49,463
Shit!
848
00:34:49,505 --> 00:34:51,507
- Do you have a bobby pin?
849
00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:52,800
- Yeah, yeah,
850
00:34:52,841 --> 00:34:54,635
it's in the bun on the back
of my fucking head.
851
00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:56,553
- Okay, don't be an asshole.
852
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:58,597
I'll find a paperclip.
Excuse me.
853
00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:02,226
- Wait, you know how
to pick a lock?
854
00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:04,520
- South side of Chicago,
born and raised.
855
00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:05,729
- It's not North Philadelphia,
856
00:35:05,771 --> 00:35:07,940
but I'm not gonna
hold it against you.
857
00:35:07,981 --> 00:35:09,942
- Got it.
- Hey.
858
00:35:12,653 --> 00:35:15,739
[coughing]
859
00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:19,535
Oh, God!
Oh, fuck, I can't see shit.
860
00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:21,411
[coughing]
Where you at?
861
00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:23,247
- [Kevin] Help! Help me!
862
00:35:23,288 --> 00:35:25,415
- I've got you, little Kev.
- Oh, hell no!
863
00:35:25,457 --> 00:35:27,417
[screaming]
Help!
864
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:29,545
- It's fucking hot!
865
00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:32,589
- Oh, whoa.
866
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:35,801
- You damn right.
It is authentic.
867
00:35:35,843 --> 00:35:37,177
- He doesn't even know
he's being filmed.
868
00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:38,679
- Exactly.
869
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:42,099
I've been chasing for
this cinema verite style
870
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:45,853
of realistic hard action
filmmaking for years.
871
00:35:45,894 --> 00:35:48,689
It is my white whale,
my unicorn.
872
00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:51,358
All I needed was an actor
who was fragile,
873
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,736
vulnerable, afraid
of being forgotten.
874
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,783
Afraid of being forgotten.
875
00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:03,287
Thank you, Kevin.
You're a gift.
876
00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:05,622
Thank you, thank you.
877
00:36:12,004 --> 00:36:14,381
- Any questions, uh,
for tomorrow's scenes?
878
00:36:14,423 --> 00:36:16,508
- Oh, no.
879
00:36:16,550 --> 00:36:20,304
[speaking French]
880
00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:22,222
I should get back
to the set.
881
00:36:22,264 --> 00:36:23,974
Bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.
882
00:36:24,016 --> 00:36:25,559
[speaking French]
- Merci.
883
00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:30,522
Again.
884
00:36:33,734 --> 00:36:36,653
- Hey, can I--
can I ask you a question?
885
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:39,072
- Yeah.
- So you...
886
00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:41,074
you remember earlier today
when we were shooting
887
00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:42,701
the scene on green screen,
888
00:36:42,743 --> 00:36:46,121
like-like right before
the wire snapped,
889
00:36:46,163 --> 00:36:47,623
you kind of seemed
like you was--
890
00:36:47,664 --> 00:36:49,791
like you were really
into it.
891
00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:51,835
- It's called acting.
892
00:36:53,045 --> 00:36:55,255
- You acted like you
wanted to kiss me.
893
00:36:55,297 --> 00:36:57,257
- Yes.
894
00:36:57,299 --> 00:36:59,843
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
895
00:36:59,885 --> 00:37:01,428
Yeah.
896
00:37:01,470 --> 00:37:09,603
♪♪♪
897
00:37:09,645 --> 00:37:13,190
- Come on, let's go.
898
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:16,443
- The fuck.
Stealing my shit.
899
00:37:16,485 --> 00:37:18,320
Hollywood bitch.
900
00:37:18,362 --> 00:37:33,710
♪♪♪
901
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,253
- You got anything?
902
00:37:35,295 --> 00:37:37,047
- Nope, you?
903
00:37:37,089 --> 00:37:39,716
- Got a drawer
full of old head shots.
904
00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:42,594
- Oh.
905
00:37:42,636 --> 00:37:44,012
- "Coach Ron, you are
the bright light
906
00:37:44,054 --> 00:37:45,889
"in the darkest parts
of my soul."
907
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:48,225
What the fuck
does that mean?
908
00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:49,309
- We should get
out of here soon.
909
00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:50,644
- No, we shouldn't.
910
00:37:50,686 --> 00:37:51,770
I know there's
some stuff in here
911
00:37:51,812 --> 00:37:52,771
that he don't
want us to see.
912
00:37:52,813 --> 00:37:55,190
you just gotta
look for it.
913
00:37:55,232 --> 00:37:56,191
He probably got
one of them, like,
914
00:37:56,233 --> 00:37:58,944
secret compartments
somewhere.
915
00:37:58,986 --> 00:38:00,612
Got it!
[latch clicking]
916
00:38:00,654 --> 00:38:02,280
Oh, bingo.
917
00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:04,366
- Holy shit.
918
00:38:08,370 --> 00:38:10,622
- Here, I got another lock
for you to pick.
919
00:38:10,664 --> 00:38:11,999
- What do you think's in there?
- Don't know.
920
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,792
Some shit he don't want
nobody to find.
921
00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:17,004
[distant door opening]
- Shit!
922
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:27,139
♪♪♪
923
00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:28,890
- Get your ass.
924
00:38:28,932 --> 00:38:38,900
♪♪♪
925
00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:53,248
♪♪♪
926
00:38:53,290 --> 00:38:57,127
- Oh, isn't
this interesting?
927
00:38:57,169 --> 00:39:00,839
Well, I know that you're both
pretending to be asleep,
928
00:39:00,881 --> 00:39:02,507
and that's fine.
929
00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:04,885
It's probably the best acting
that either of you
930
00:39:04,926 --> 00:39:07,054
will ever do
in your entire lives.
931
00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:09,848
Especially you, Agent Hart.
932
00:39:09,890 --> 00:39:12,684
But if I find out
that either of you
933
00:39:12,726 --> 00:39:15,312
left this bunk
without my permission,
934
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:16,897
you'll regret the day
you ever stepped
935
00:39:16,938 --> 00:39:19,399
into Ron Wilcox
Action Star School.
936
00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:31,536
If you weren't fake sleeping,
you would have woken up.
937
00:39:31,578 --> 00:39:37,918
♪♪♪
938
00:39:43,465 --> 00:39:54,142
♪♪♪
939
00:39:54,184 --> 00:39:56,103
- Holy shit,
that was too close.
940
00:39:56,144 --> 00:39:57,854
- You're telling me.
941
00:39:57,896 --> 00:40:07,739
♪♪♪
942
00:40:11,159 --> 00:40:14,204
[grunting]
943
00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:19,709
- Kevin, come on,
open it later.
944
00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:21,253
We're supposed to be
at the sound stage.
945
00:40:21,294 --> 00:40:22,879
- I'm almost there.
Wait a second.
946
00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:28,593
Shit.
947
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,345
I got it!
I got it. I got it.
948
00:40:32,639 --> 00:40:34,266
It's a necklace.
949
00:40:34,307 --> 00:40:36,017
It's got RBG.
950
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:39,229
Oh, "R" is for Rodrigo,
that guy that he murdered.
951
00:40:39,271 --> 00:40:41,022
- Jesus, Kevin,
give it a rest.
952
00:40:41,064 --> 00:40:42,482
You gotta sneak that shit
back into his office
953
00:40:42,524 --> 00:40:44,192
before he figures out
you stole it.
954
00:40:44,234 --> 00:40:46,027
- [Ron] Rise and shine,
let's go.
955
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:48,363
Come on, let's go!
- Shit.
956
00:40:48,405 --> 00:40:50,198
Put this on your side.
957
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:57,831
♪♪♪
958
00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:01,459
- All right, class.
959
00:41:01,501 --> 00:41:04,045
It's a fun day today.
It's a big day.
960
00:41:04,087 --> 00:41:07,007
Behind that door, I got
a very big surprise for you.
961
00:41:07,048 --> 00:41:08,550
- We'd see daylight
for the first time?
962
00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:10,510
- Nope.
Any other guesses?
963
00:41:10,552 --> 00:41:11,803
- You gonna open the door up
and a panther
964
00:41:11,845 --> 00:41:13,096
gonna come through
and maul us to death?
965
00:41:13,138 --> 00:41:14,723
- Getting warmer.
You're getting warmer.
966
00:41:14,764 --> 00:41:16,057
- Why am I getting warmer?
967
00:41:16,099 --> 00:41:18,018
- Ooh, a source of protein
other than beef jerky?
968
00:41:18,059 --> 00:41:19,561
That would be great.
- Watch this.
969
00:41:19,603 --> 00:41:21,229
- Unbelievable. Please.
- Some fruit? A smoothie?
970
00:41:23,148 --> 00:41:25,483
- Josh Hartnett!
- Hey, hey, hey, buddy!
971
00:41:25,525 --> 00:41:26,693
Ooh, ooh look out,
look out!
972
00:41:26,735 --> 00:41:28,153
Ooh.
973
00:41:28,195 --> 00:41:30,572
[laughter]
- Get off me.
974
00:41:30,614 --> 00:41:32,490
- My favorite alumni.
975
00:41:32,532 --> 00:41:35,368
Class third week, April 1999.
- Oh, come on, that's--
976
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:37,454
- Come on!
- Oh my God.
977
00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,998
Is it possible that
you're too beautiful?
978
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,541
[giggling]
979
00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:43,501
- Um, yeah. You kiss--
980
00:41:43,543 --> 00:41:46,129
it kissed my, um--
you smile a lot.
981
00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:47,672
- What the fuck
did you just say?
982
00:41:47,714 --> 00:41:48,757
- I--
- Kev,
983
00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:49,841
I'm so glad
you're here, man.
984
00:41:49,883 --> 00:41:51,426
This is gonna change
your life.
985
00:41:51,468 --> 00:41:52,844
I mean, when Ron finished
with me,
986
00:41:52,886 --> 00:41:54,387
I shot "Pearl Harbor",
"Black Hawk Down",
987
00:41:54,429 --> 00:41:55,722
"Hollywood Homicide".
988
00:41:55,764 --> 00:41:57,349
- You should have probably
left the last one out.
989
00:41:57,390 --> 00:41:58,642
- When I first came here,
I was nothing.
990
00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:00,602
I was, like, 100 pounds
soaking wet.
991
00:42:00,644 --> 00:42:03,271
By the time I was out of here,
I felt invincible.
992
00:42:03,313 --> 00:42:06,024
I felt like Academy Award
winner Matt Damon or some shit.
993
00:42:06,066 --> 00:42:07,776
[laughter]
- You're too much.
994
00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:08,985
He's too much.
995
00:42:09,027 --> 00:42:11,446
Why don't you guys catch up,
and, Agent King?
996
00:42:11,488 --> 00:42:13,365
- Yes?
- Let's talk motivation.
997
00:42:13,406 --> 00:42:15,742
- Bye.
- Nice to meet you.
998
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:20,413
Kev, how's it
going so far, man?
999
00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:22,165
- It is not going good.
1000
00:42:22,207 --> 00:42:24,376
This place is like a prison.
Do you hear me?
1001
00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:26,336
And I think Coach Ron
is trying to kill me.
1002
00:42:26,378 --> 00:42:28,421
- Well, that's just his way.
Look at him, he's a teddy bear.
1003
00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:30,006
- He ain't no teddy bear!
1004
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,841
He's the complete opposite
of a teddy bear.
1005
00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:33,468
And I believe he
murdered somebody.
1006
00:42:33,510 --> 00:42:35,637
I think he murdered
a Colombian drug lord.
1007
00:42:35,679 --> 00:42:37,097
I think he did it.
1008
00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:38,640
I got a guy named
Rodrigo was here,
1009
00:42:38,682 --> 00:42:40,684
and I think he murdered--
- Oh God, you crack me up, Kev.
1010
00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:45,605
Oh, you're serious?
- Yes, I'm serious.
1011
00:42:45,647 --> 00:42:47,148
I went snooping around
in his office,
1012
00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:49,234
and I think I found
a keepsake from the murder.
1013
00:42:49,276 --> 00:42:51,069
It was a necklace,
it's got "RBG".
1014
00:42:51,111 --> 00:42:53,280
- Ron murdered someone
and kept a necklace?
1015
00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:55,156
Like Dexter?
1016
00:42:55,198 --> 00:42:56,741
- Josh, listen to me.
- Yes?
1017
00:42:56,783 --> 00:42:58,660
- We need to call the cops.
- Okay.
1018
00:42:58,702 --> 00:43:00,287
- We need the people from
out there to come in here.
1019
00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:01,371
- Okay.
- I'm taking about the Feds,
1020
00:43:01,413 --> 00:43:03,540
the DA--
- What are you whispering about?
1021
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:04,958
- Nothing.
We're talking about workouts.
1022
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,376
We're talking
my workout, his workout.
1023
00:43:06,418 --> 00:43:07,836
It's nothing much.
1024
00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:09,462
- How's my goddaughter?
1025
00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:11,381
- Oh, man, she is
growing like a weed.
1026
00:43:11,423 --> 00:43:12,632
- Oh, yeah?
Let me see that.
1027
00:43:12,674 --> 00:43:13,842
- Goddaughter?
- Let me see that.
1028
00:43:13,883 --> 00:43:15,719
Whoa-ho! Oh!
- Look at her.
1029
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,095
She misses her
Uncle Ronnie, though.
1030
00:43:17,137 --> 00:43:19,139
- Well, you tell her
that her Uncle Ronnie
1031
00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:20,640
misses that little
pumpkinhead, too.
1032
00:43:20,682 --> 00:43:23,310
[cries]
- Hey.
1033
00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:26,146
Hey, why the sad face?
Are you okay?
1034
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:27,439
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
1035
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,357
[sighs]
1036
00:43:29,399 --> 00:43:31,735
I can't find
my special necklace.
1037
00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:34,195
The one that I had
custom made with RBG.
1038
00:43:34,237 --> 00:43:36,031
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
1039
00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:37,365
- That's okay, it's okay.
1040
00:43:37,407 --> 00:43:38,658
- Yeah, she's my favorite
Supreme Court justice.
1041
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:41,453
I mean, I love
her dissenting opinions.
1042
00:43:41,494 --> 00:43:43,288
Let me tell you something,
if I find out
1043
00:43:43,330 --> 00:43:45,540
that someone stole it,
I'll kill 'em.
1044
00:43:45,582 --> 00:43:47,250
I'll kill 'em!
- Hey!
1045
00:43:47,292 --> 00:43:49,502
You have to think
positive thoughts.
1046
00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:52,756
We're gonna find it.
It's gonna turn up soon.
1047
00:43:52,797 --> 00:43:55,633
I promise you,
it's gonna turn up soon.
1048
00:43:57,886 --> 00:44:00,513
- Today we're doing
firearms stunts.
1049
00:44:00,555 --> 00:44:02,849
We've got Officer Hartnett,
who is a corrupt cop
1050
00:44:02,891 --> 00:44:04,351
who's gone rogue,
1051
00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,187
we've got Agent King
and Agent Hart.
1052
00:44:07,228 --> 00:44:09,898
You finally found him
in this chop shop,
1053
00:44:09,939 --> 00:44:11,941
and this is where the shootout
will take place.
1054
00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:13,610
Now, here is your gun.
1055
00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:14,778
- Nice.
1056
00:44:14,819 --> 00:44:17,197
- Don't you ever accept
a gun like that.
1057
00:44:17,238 --> 00:44:18,406
It's always from the back.
1058
00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:19,783
- You passed it
to me frontwards.
1059
00:44:19,824 --> 00:44:21,951
- That was a test.
You failed.
1060
00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:25,163
Now, these firearms
are loaded, okay?
1061
00:44:25,205 --> 00:44:28,875
So please, be careful
how you handle them.
1062
00:44:28,917 --> 00:44:30,085
- Well, we don't have
to be that careful
1063
00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:31,920
'cause there's-there's
blanks in them, right?
1064
00:44:31,961 --> 00:44:33,129
Not loaded, loaded.
Just--
1065
00:44:33,171 --> 00:44:35,006
They're blanks, correct?
1066
00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:39,094
No, Coach Ron, that's
not gonna do it for me.
1067
00:44:39,135 --> 00:44:42,055
I need a verbal confirmation
that it's blanks in this gun.
1068
00:44:42,097 --> 00:44:43,348
- What do you think?
- Yes or no?
1069
00:44:43,390 --> 00:44:44,682
Are there blanks
in this gun?
1070
00:44:44,724 --> 00:44:46,935
- Come on, Kevin.
Get your head in the game, man.
1071
00:44:46,976 --> 00:44:48,770
- Josh, my head's in the game.
I'm just trying to be safe.
1072
00:44:48,812 --> 00:44:51,564
And he still didn't
say yes or no.
1073
00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,108
- Yes.
1074
00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,693
- Yes, you heard him.
- Okay, everyone in wardrobe.
1075
00:44:55,735 --> 00:44:57,112
I'll see you in ten,
right back here,
1076
00:44:57,153 --> 00:44:58,321
we start the shootout.
1077
00:44:58,363 --> 00:44:59,948
Let's go, let's go,
let's go.
1078
00:45:03,660 --> 00:45:05,703
- Hey, what are you doing?
Get into costume.
1079
00:45:05,745 --> 00:45:07,247
- No, not me.
I'm not doing it.
1080
00:45:07,288 --> 00:45:08,540
- Kevin, you're
being paranoid.
1081
00:45:08,581 --> 00:45:10,083
We all heard him say
there were blanks.
1082
00:45:10,125 --> 00:45:12,627
- My gun has blanks,
I guarantee you that.
1083
00:45:12,669 --> 00:45:15,547
But I bet you Josh, he's got
a fully loaded fuckin' pistol.
1084
00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:17,298
Now, Ron already tried
to kill me once.
1085
00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:19,509
Right now, he's probably willing
to go all the fuckin' way.
1086
00:45:19,551 --> 00:45:20,760
I'm not doing it.
1087
00:45:20,802 --> 00:45:22,470
Trying to make it look like
a goddamn accident.
1088
00:45:22,512 --> 00:45:23,930
That's exactly
what it'll do.
1089
00:45:23,972 --> 00:45:28,143
Kevin Hart accidentally killed
in Ron Wilcox's Action School.
1090
00:45:28,184 --> 00:45:30,019
No, thank you.
1091
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:31,771
- First of all,
Josh would never do that.
1092
00:45:31,813 --> 00:45:34,065
He is sweet and sensitive.
1093
00:45:34,107 --> 00:45:37,277
And he's tender, probably.
1094
00:45:37,318 --> 00:45:39,195
- Okay, what the fuck
is over there, huh?
1095
00:45:39,237 --> 00:45:40,822
I bet he's none
of those things.
1096
00:45:40,864 --> 00:45:43,032
He and Ron,
they're like this.
1097
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:45,743
Fucking godfather to his kids.
He didn't say shit about that.
1098
00:45:45,785 --> 00:45:47,078
And they know
I got the necklace!
1099
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:48,204
- So put it back.
1100
00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:49,747
- I can't put it back
'cause too late.
1101
00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:51,291
They know I got
the goddamn necklace.
1102
00:45:51,332 --> 00:45:53,168
You know what? It's not
safe for me here.
1103
00:45:53,209 --> 00:45:54,627
I gotta go.
- Oh,
1104
00:45:54,669 --> 00:45:55,795
so you're just gonna give up
on your lifelong dream
1105
00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:58,214
because you're afraid
of getting shot?
1106
00:45:58,256 --> 00:46:00,508
- Fuck that dream!
1107
00:46:00,550 --> 00:46:02,969
And look, I'm leavin'.
1108
00:46:03,011 --> 00:46:06,347
You got a choice.
1109
00:46:06,389 --> 00:46:08,558
Come with me.
1110
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,185
- Uh...
1111
00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:15,023
I can't.
1112
00:46:15,064 --> 00:46:17,025
I'm sorry.
1113
00:46:17,066 --> 00:46:18,943
This is my shot.
1114
00:46:18,985 --> 00:46:21,404
- I understand.
1115
00:46:21,446 --> 00:46:23,281
It is your shot
and you deserve it.
1116
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:31,206
- Okay.
1117
00:46:31,247 --> 00:46:32,749
Nice.
1118
00:46:34,834 --> 00:46:36,044
[door shutting]
1119
00:46:36,085 --> 00:46:40,924
♪♪♪
1120
00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,050
[indistinct chatter]
1121
00:46:42,091 --> 00:46:43,009
- One, two, three.
1122
00:46:44,177 --> 00:46:45,929
[laughing]
1123
00:46:45,970 --> 00:46:47,138
- Yes!
1124
00:46:47,180 --> 00:46:56,105
♪♪♪
1125
00:46:56,147 --> 00:46:58,525
- Ugh. That dick.
1126
00:47:01,402 --> 00:47:04,989
The fuck is my car?
1127
00:47:06,950 --> 00:47:09,160
You gotta be kidding me.
1128
00:47:09,202 --> 00:47:10,995
[clicking key fob]
1129
00:47:13,498 --> 00:47:16,584
Oh, motherfucker!
1130
00:47:16,626 --> 00:47:19,337
[car beeping]
1131
00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:36,771
He killed my car.
He killed my fucking car.
1132
00:47:36,813 --> 00:47:38,856
- [Ron Wilcox] Kevin!
1133
00:47:38,898 --> 00:47:41,276
Kevin!
1134
00:47:41,317 --> 00:47:43,695
Where are you?
1135
00:47:43,736 --> 00:47:46,906
Come out, come out
wherever you are!
1136
00:47:46,948 --> 00:47:48,616
- Shit.
1137
00:47:48,658 --> 00:48:03,798
♪♪♪
1138
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:05,800
[sighing]
1139
00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:15,018
Goddamn it.
1140
00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:17,061
Motherfuckin' squirrels.
1141
00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:19,272
Shit! Get your ass
outta here.
1142
00:48:19,314 --> 00:48:20,481
Shoo!
1143
00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:22,609
Go squirrel!
1144
00:48:22,650 --> 00:48:23,985
[mimicking squirrel noises]
1145
00:48:24,027 --> 00:48:25,820
[squirrel growling]
Motherfucker.
1146
00:48:25,862 --> 00:48:27,614
Better get your ass back.
1147
00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:29,324
You hear me?
1148
00:48:29,365 --> 00:48:30,992
I ain't scared of you.
1149
00:48:31,034 --> 00:48:33,286
You better keep it over there
before you get hurt.
1150
00:48:33,328 --> 00:48:34,495
Bring it over here,
you get what you want.
1151
00:48:34,537 --> 00:48:36,414
Shit. Shit!
Oh...
1152
00:48:36,456 --> 00:48:37,707
[squirrel squeaking]
I see you.
1153
00:48:37,749 --> 00:48:40,001
I ain't takin'
my eye off you.
1154
00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:42,420
I got ya locked in.
1155
00:48:42,462 --> 00:48:44,797
Stay back!
1156
00:48:44,839 --> 00:48:46,341
[squirrel squeaking]
1157
00:48:46,382 --> 00:48:48,343
Stupid woods.
1158
00:48:53,681 --> 00:48:55,099
Oh.
1159
00:48:55,141 --> 00:48:56,643
Thank god.
1160
00:48:56,684 --> 00:48:58,144
Excuse me.
1161
00:48:58,186 --> 00:49:00,229
Excuse me, sir?
1162
00:49:00,271 --> 00:49:01,981
How ya doin', man?
1163
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:07,737
- You know you're trespassin'.
- Yes.
1164
00:49:07,779 --> 00:49:09,447
I mean, no. No.
I didn't.
1165
00:49:09,489 --> 00:49:10,740
I do now. But I--
1166
00:49:10,782 --> 00:49:14,202
- Sign posted
right over there.
1167
00:49:14,243 --> 00:49:16,663
Only got two words on it.
1168
00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:20,583
No and trespassin'.
1169
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,335
- Yep.
1170
00:49:22,377 --> 00:49:24,671
I see it now.
1171
00:49:24,712 --> 00:49:27,632
I see it now. I didn't see that
when I-- when I came in.
1172
00:49:27,674 --> 00:49:29,926
The way I came in,
my back was to that.
1173
00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:30,927
So, I never caught that.
1174
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:35,056
- You're a city boy, ain't ya?
1175
00:49:35,098 --> 00:49:38,309
- Well, uh, I refer to myself
as a city man,
1176
00:49:38,351 --> 00:49:40,812
not a boy.
You can say boy, man,
1177
00:49:40,853 --> 00:49:41,938
whatever you--
what do you prefer?
1178
00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:44,774
- Woods ain't safe
for a city boy...
1179
00:49:47,235 --> 00:49:50,321
much less a city man.
1180
00:49:52,782 --> 00:49:54,158
- Okay.
1181
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,452
I'm gonna address the
elephant in the woods.
1182
00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:58,788
This whole "Deliverance" thing
that we got goin' on right now--
1183
00:49:58,830 --> 00:50:01,124
which is great, okay?
'Cause it's workin'.
1184
00:50:01,165 --> 00:50:02,500
So, when things are workin',
you give 'em the accolades
1185
00:50:02,542 --> 00:50:03,334
that they deserve.
1186
00:50:03,376 --> 00:50:05,795
I'm-I'm uncomfortable, sir.
1187
00:50:05,837 --> 00:50:07,839
I'm actually scared,
all right?
1188
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,216
So, now that we know that,
let me help this mood
1189
00:50:10,258 --> 00:50:11,342
by just telling you
why I'm here.
1190
00:50:11,384 --> 00:50:13,428
I'm tryin' to use a phone.
You got a phone?
1191
00:50:13,469 --> 00:50:16,556
I wanna use it real quick,
and I'm outta here.
1192
00:50:20,393 --> 00:50:21,686
- Two minutes.
1193
00:50:21,728 --> 00:50:23,146
- No! I'm not out
of my mind.
1194
00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:25,398
As a matter of fact,
I'm very much in my mind.
1195
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,608
The dude's tryin' to kill me.
- [Danny] That's unfortunate.
1196
00:50:27,650 --> 00:50:29,527
- What do you mean?
Unfortunate?
1197
00:50:29,569 --> 00:50:32,280
Listen to me, Danny.
He's trying to kill me.
1198
00:50:32,321 --> 00:50:33,489
- No, totally.
[text message alert]
1199
00:50:33,531 --> 00:50:35,700
Kev, listen.
I've got huge news.
1200
00:50:35,742 --> 00:50:36,951
All right? Ready?
1201
00:50:36,993 --> 00:50:38,870
"Pound Pups 4."
1202
00:50:38,911 --> 00:50:43,499
"Pound Pups 4."
They want you to voice Reggie,
1203
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:46,169
a quick-witted,
short-tempered goldendoodle
1204
00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:47,837
who craves mischief.
1205
00:50:47,879 --> 00:50:49,130
- Did they ask
for me directly?
1206
00:50:49,172 --> 00:50:50,423
- Yeah. Now, listen.
1207
00:50:50,465 --> 00:50:52,759
The money's not what
you're used to making,
1208
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,677
but this could be the role
that gets you back
1209
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:58,181
in the good graces
with the comedy gods.
1210
00:50:59,348 --> 00:51:02,435
- Hey, I-- Uh...
1211
00:51:02,477 --> 00:51:05,521
Hey! I-- Hi.
1212
00:51:05,563 --> 00:51:07,732
Hey, I'm Reggie
the goldendoodle
1213
00:51:07,774 --> 00:51:09,859
and I'm ready to
create some mischief!
1214
00:51:09,901 --> 00:51:11,736
- See? You're a genius!
1215
00:51:11,778 --> 00:51:13,696
It's amazing.
I'm in the movie right now.
1216
00:51:13,738 --> 00:51:14,947
I'm watchin' the movie!
1217
00:51:14,989 --> 00:51:16,365
[chuckling]
1218
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:19,535
Now, normally, we'd,
you know, counter.
1219
00:51:19,577 --> 00:51:21,621
Negotiate a better deal,
blah, blah, blah.
1220
00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:23,414
I think we should
close this one.
1221
00:51:23,456 --> 00:51:24,999
Huh? What do you think?
[sighing]
1222
00:51:25,041 --> 00:51:26,751
No, no, no.
Don't sigh.
1223
00:51:26,793 --> 00:51:28,503
Be happy.
This is good, Kev.
1224
00:51:35,176 --> 00:51:37,929
Oh, goddamn it.
Are you crying?
1225
00:51:37,970 --> 00:51:41,390
- How did we get here,
Danny? Hmm?
1226
00:51:41,432 --> 00:51:43,351
[sniffles]
How did we get here?
1227
00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:44,811
Just tell me
how we got here.
1228
00:51:44,852 --> 00:51:47,188
- Look. Stop beatin'
yourself up.
1229
00:51:47,230 --> 00:51:49,565
Huh? You made a mistake.
1230
00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:50,942
You tried to be
somethin' you're not.
1231
00:51:50,983 --> 00:51:52,318
You're not an action hero.
1232
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,487
You know that now.
1233
00:51:54,529 --> 00:51:55,863
So, is that a yes
on "Pound Pups 4?"
1234
00:51:55,905 --> 00:51:57,240
[crashing]
- I...
1235
00:51:57,281 --> 00:51:59,617
- [Waylon] Help! Help me!
1236
00:51:59,659 --> 00:52:01,828
I'm stuck!
- [Danny] Kevin?
1237
00:52:01,869 --> 00:52:04,664
Kevin, I need
a verbal yes on this.
1238
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:07,083
Kevin, don't let
this go away, buddy.
1239
00:52:07,124 --> 00:52:09,252
- [Waylon] Help me!
- [Danny] Kev, goldendoodles.
1240
00:52:09,293 --> 00:52:10,711
You love dogs, Kevin.
1241
00:52:10,753 --> 00:52:11,921
- [Waylon] Help!
1242
00:52:11,963 --> 00:52:14,006
- [Danny] Kevin.
- [Waylon] Help me!
1243
00:52:14,048 --> 00:52:15,758
[coughing]
Help!
1244
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:17,426
- Hey, you okay?
- No!
1245
00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:20,221
- Fuck.
- Damn truck broke.
1246
00:52:20,263 --> 00:52:22,598
- Ugh. Shit!
1247
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:24,392
- It's on my chest.
1248
00:52:24,433 --> 00:52:26,102
I can't breathe.
1249
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,728
- I'm gonna call
somebody right now, man.
1250
00:52:27,770 --> 00:52:30,690
Okay? I'm gonna
call someone.
1251
00:52:30,731 --> 00:52:32,275
Hey.
1252
00:52:32,316 --> 00:52:33,693
Hey!
1253
00:52:33,734 --> 00:52:37,405
Oh, sh--
1254
00:52:37,446 --> 00:52:39,156
Okay. Come on.
1255
00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:40,950
You gotta lift this truck.
1256
00:52:40,992 --> 00:52:43,536
You gotta lift this truck!
1257
00:52:43,578 --> 00:52:45,371
Lift the fuckin' truck.
1258
00:52:45,413 --> 00:52:47,331
Come on, Kevin.
1259
00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:48,332
Ready.
1260
00:52:48,416 --> 00:52:50,835
Three, two, one.
1261
00:52:50,877 --> 00:52:53,462
[yelling]
1262
00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:57,633
I'm doing it!
I'm doin' it!
1263
00:52:57,675 --> 00:52:59,093
[yelling]
1264
00:52:59,135 --> 00:53:01,846
[coughing]
1265
00:53:04,432 --> 00:53:06,601
Oh.
1266
00:53:06,642 --> 00:53:07,768
You okay?
1267
00:53:07,810 --> 00:53:10,062
Breathe, man.
1268
00:53:10,104 --> 00:53:11,606
Slow down.
1269
00:53:11,647 --> 00:53:14,150
Take your time.
All right.
1270
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:15,526
Nice and slow.
Get your breath back.
1271
00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:17,653
- Oh, my god.
You just saved my life.
1272
00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:20,364
- No.
- Oh, oh, yeah.
1273
00:53:20,406 --> 00:53:22,325
You're like
a real-life Rambo.
1274
00:53:27,496 --> 00:53:29,165
- I guess I kinda am.
1275
00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:30,124
- Oh...
1276
00:53:32,668 --> 00:53:35,379
How can I ever
repay you, sir?
1277
00:53:35,421 --> 00:53:38,174
- Sir? No, man.
1278
00:53:38,215 --> 00:53:39,967
Wait, you don't
know who I am?
1279
00:53:40,009 --> 00:53:42,803
You don't recognize me from
movies, TV, stand-up comedy?
1280
00:53:42,845 --> 00:53:45,139
- Uh, no?
1281
00:53:49,310 --> 00:53:51,979
- The name is Hart.
1282
00:53:52,021 --> 00:53:53,731
Agent Hart.
1283
00:53:58,611 --> 00:53:59,862
Hey, you wouldn't happen
to know of a shortcut back
1284
00:53:59,904 --> 00:54:02,198
to Ron Wilcox's Action School,
would you?
1285
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:03,407
- Wilcox Property.
- Yeah.
1286
00:54:03,449 --> 00:54:05,076
- Uh, yes, Agent.
1287
00:54:05,117 --> 00:54:08,454
Uh, you can follow that path,
it'll take you right to it.
1288
00:54:08,496 --> 00:54:09,914
- Okay.
1289
00:54:09,956 --> 00:54:11,040
I think I'mma go
and get on that trail
1290
00:54:11,082 --> 00:54:12,541
before the sun goes down.
1291
00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:15,503
- Uh, that--
you ain't walkin'.
1292
00:54:17,421 --> 00:54:23,135
♪♪♪
1293
00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:24,679
- Oh, yeah.
1294
00:54:24,720 --> 00:54:26,180
[motor revving]
1295
00:54:26,222 --> 00:54:32,353
♪♪♪
1296
00:54:35,398 --> 00:54:36,983
How was that? - [Claude van de Velde]
Phenomenal.
1297
00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:38,484
We got it.
1298
00:54:38,526 --> 00:54:40,945
- All right, that's a wrap
on the creepy trailer!
1299
00:54:40,987 --> 00:54:42,488
[applause]
Well done, everyone.
1300
00:54:45,032 --> 00:55:00,798
♪♪♪
1301
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:03,467
- [Jordan] Stop!
Goddamn it, stop!
1302
00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:05,011
- Motherfuckers.
1303
00:55:08,472 --> 00:55:11,517
Chitty chitty
bang bang, bitch.
1304
00:55:11,559 --> 00:55:14,020
[gunshots]
No!
1305
00:55:14,061 --> 00:55:16,272
No!
1306
00:55:16,313 --> 00:55:19,025
Fuck!
1307
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:20,693
[laughing]
1308
00:55:20,735 --> 00:55:23,738
- Holy shit, Jordan.
You weren't joking.
1309
00:55:23,779 --> 00:55:25,281
He actually thinks we're using
real bullets today.
1310
00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:27,408
Kev.
1311
00:55:27,450 --> 00:55:29,452
- You told him?
- I'm sorry, it was funny.
1312
00:55:29,493 --> 00:55:31,037
- It's not fucking funny!
1313
00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:33,122
'Cause that man back there
is a lunatic.
1314
00:55:33,164 --> 00:55:35,207
You're a fucking lunatic,
Coach Ron.
1315
00:55:35,249 --> 00:55:37,626
- Hey! You know what?
1316
00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:39,795
Maybe I am a lunatic.
1317
00:55:39,837 --> 00:55:41,964
Maybe I oughta
just kill ya!
1318
00:55:42,006 --> 00:55:44,175
- Hey, no, Ron.
Hold up.
1319
00:55:44,216 --> 00:55:45,593
Let me kill him.
1320
00:55:45,634 --> 00:55:47,553
- Stop it.
- No. Me! Me! Me!
1321
00:55:47,595 --> 00:55:48,512
[gunshots]
1322
00:55:48,554 --> 00:55:50,639
- Stop it. Stop!
1323
00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:51,932
You know what, assholes?
1324
00:55:51,974 --> 00:55:53,642
Y'all wanna fuckin' play,
then play. Go ahead.
1325
00:55:53,684 --> 00:55:54,685
Unload 'em all.
1326
00:55:54,727 --> 00:55:56,270
- All right.
Now we're havin' fun.
1327
00:55:56,312 --> 00:55:59,231
[gunshots]
- After you.
1328
00:56:03,277 --> 00:56:05,738
- Shit!
1329
00:56:05,780 --> 00:56:07,406
- Holy shit.
1330
00:56:07,448 --> 00:56:09,658
Maybe there was
a bullet in there.
1331
00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:12,203
- You're bad, man!
[laughing]
1332
00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:13,704
[indistinct chatter]
- Motherfucker!
1333
00:56:13,746 --> 00:56:15,164
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, my god.
1334
00:56:15,206 --> 00:56:17,374
- Josh, stop, man.
This is bullshit!
1335
00:56:17,416 --> 00:56:18,751
You're tryin' to
fuckin' kill me!
1336
00:56:18,793 --> 00:56:21,754
- What's your problem?
I already apologized to you.
1337
00:56:21,796 --> 00:56:24,006
- When? When did you apologize?
- I thought I did.
1338
00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:26,175
- What, you thought
you apologized?
1339
00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:28,928
- You know what, maybe I would
apologize to you
1340
00:56:28,969 --> 00:56:30,763
if you gave me back
my necklace.
1341
00:56:30,805 --> 00:56:33,766
- There it is. There it is.
1342
00:56:33,808 --> 00:56:35,559
You know I took the necklace
so you tried to fucking kill me.
1343
00:56:35,601 --> 00:56:36,936
- Hey, hey.
- Just admit it, man!
1344
00:56:36,977 --> 00:56:38,187
- Kev, Kev, Kev, Kev.
Just chill out.
1345
00:56:38,229 --> 00:56:39,188
We're all just
goofin' around.
1346
00:56:39,230 --> 00:56:40,189
We're just having
a little fun, okay?
1347
00:56:40,231 --> 00:56:41,690
Nobody got hurt.
Nobody got hurt!
1348
00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:43,526
- Oh, it was a goof.
- Yeah, just a goof.
1349
00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:45,111
- Well, now that I know that,
I guess I feel better.
1350
00:56:45,152 --> 00:56:46,320
- All right.
1351
00:56:46,362 --> 00:56:47,488
- Did you know it was
a goof, Jordan?
1352
00:56:47,530 --> 00:56:49,240
- You know what,
I don't know. Okay?
1353
00:56:49,281 --> 00:56:50,574
It was-- I don't--
I don't know.
1354
00:56:50,616 --> 00:56:51,951
- You don't know.
- I'm staying out of it.
1355
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:52,993
- Now, you're staying out of it.
- Yeah.
1356
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:53,911
- You know what? Okay.
Everybody's tempers
1357
00:56:53,994 --> 00:56:54,787
are a little hot
right now.
1358
00:56:54,829 --> 00:56:56,038
Maybe we could all
just take a break.
1359
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:57,206
Maybe take five.
- Let's take a break.
1360
00:56:57,248 --> 00:56:58,249
- We drink some water.
We have some beef jerky.
1361
00:56:58,290 --> 00:56:59,500
- All right. Okay.
- We just--
1362
00:56:59,542 --> 00:57:01,043
We reconvene in a bit, okay?
- I'm cool. I'm cool.
1363
00:57:01,085 --> 00:57:02,545
- You're cool?
- I'm cool. Give-- Come on.
1364
00:57:02,586 --> 00:57:03,379
- Give him a hug.
- Give me a hug, man.
1365
00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:04,964
Give me a hug.
- I don't-- No.
1366
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:07,299
- Come on. I love you, man.
- That's beautiful, right?
1367
00:57:07,341 --> 00:57:09,135
- How do you love me? How?
1368
00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:11,053
- How? How does
anybody love anybody?
1369
00:57:12,263 --> 00:57:14,640
- What?
- That's profound.
1370
00:57:14,682 --> 00:57:17,226
- It's a good question.
1371
00:57:17,268 --> 00:57:18,727
- We're gonna
miss you, big guy.
1372
00:57:18,769 --> 00:57:20,479
- I'll miss you too, baby.
- That was a hoot!
1373
00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:24,733
- Now he's lettin' us see
daytime as if we're free.
1374
00:57:24,775 --> 00:57:27,361
- I never said you
weren't allowed to leave.
1375
00:57:27,403 --> 00:57:29,738
You got a little bit
of imagination there, buddy.
1376
00:57:29,780 --> 00:57:31,532
- Well, I remember
my car used to be here
1377
00:57:31,574 --> 00:57:34,618
and now my car is
at the bottom of a ravine.
1378
00:57:34,660 --> 00:57:36,120
Guess I'm imaginin'
that, too?
1379
00:57:36,162 --> 00:57:38,372
- Yeah, well, you know,
this is meth country.
1380
00:57:38,414 --> 00:57:41,876
Probably a couple of tweakers
goin' for a joyride.
1381
00:57:41,917 --> 00:57:43,002
They'll be back.
- Ah...
1382
00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:44,837
Tweakers love to drive,
I keep forgettin.
1383
00:57:44,879 --> 00:57:45,796
- I thought we were
gonna be cool, baby.
1384
00:57:45,838 --> 00:57:47,298
- Yeah.
- I am cool. Cool.
1385
00:57:47,339 --> 00:57:48,507
[chuckling]
1386
00:57:48,549 --> 00:57:49,884
- Hey, look.
1387
00:57:49,925 --> 00:57:51,635
I know this has
been tough on you.
1388
00:57:51,677 --> 00:57:53,721
You only got
a couple days left.
1389
00:57:53,762 --> 00:57:56,765
My advice, take as much wisdom
as you can from this guy.
1390
00:57:56,807 --> 00:57:58,350
And just have some fun.
- Yeah. Thank you.
1391
00:57:58,392 --> 00:58:00,728
Appreciate you, Josh.
1392
00:58:00,769 --> 00:58:02,688
- See ya, Kev.
1393
00:58:02,730 --> 00:58:05,357
- I love you, man.
- I love you too, man.
1394
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:06,734
- Jordan.
1395
00:58:09,904 --> 00:58:11,071
- The fuck was that?
1396
00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:12,740
[car starts]
1397
00:58:12,781 --> 00:58:17,244
[music playing in car]
1398
00:58:19,997 --> 00:58:22,708
- Agent Hart.
I wanna tell ya somethin'.
1399
00:58:22,750 --> 00:58:24,543
- I don't really feel like
dealin' with it, Coach Ron.
1400
00:58:24,585 --> 00:58:26,670
- But look.
1401
00:58:26,712 --> 00:58:29,089
I'm sorry about
that live bullet, man.
1402
00:58:29,131 --> 00:58:30,799
I really am.
1403
00:58:30,841 --> 00:58:33,427
- It's all I wanted, man.
1404
00:58:33,469 --> 00:58:35,095
All I wanted
was an apology.
1405
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:37,097
- I know.
1406
00:58:37,139 --> 00:58:40,643
You sayin' that to me makes
the world of difference.
1407
00:58:40,684 --> 00:58:43,312
I'm sorry that
I accused you of--
1408
00:58:43,354 --> 00:58:46,565
of tryin' to kill me
and other people.
1409
00:58:46,607 --> 00:58:49,151
Now, give me a hug, man.
Thank you.
1410
00:58:49,193 --> 00:58:51,153
Thank you.
- Uh, guys?
1411
00:58:51,195 --> 00:58:53,447
- Yeah.
- Who is that?
1412
00:58:59,620 --> 00:59:02,039
[car honking]
1413
00:59:08,921 --> 00:59:10,965
- Holy shit.
- Oh shit!
1414
00:59:11,006 --> 00:59:12,341
[tires squealing]
1415
00:59:14,635 --> 00:59:17,846
[explosion]
- Oh, shit!
1416
00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:19,139
- Get inside!
- What the fuck was that?
1417
00:59:19,181 --> 00:59:21,141
- Come on!
- Fuck this shit!
1418
00:59:21,183 --> 00:59:23,143
- Goddamn it!
- Oh, shit!
1419
00:59:24,645 --> 00:59:28,190
- It's a bomb!
1420
00:59:31,235 --> 00:59:33,362
- What the hell is happening?
1421
00:59:33,404 --> 00:59:35,155
- Hey, Ron, I-I don't
know this scene.
1422
00:59:35,197 --> 00:59:36,156
Where is it
in the script?
1423
00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:38,450
- It is not in
the fucking script!
1424
00:59:38,492 --> 00:59:39,827
- No, no, no.
Tell me you're kidding.
1425
00:59:39,868 --> 00:59:41,453
Tell me that
was just a stunt.
1426
00:59:41,495 --> 00:59:43,080
That we did not just watch
Josh Hartnett explode!
1427
00:59:43,122 --> 00:59:46,333
- It is not a stunt!
It is not in the script!
1428
00:59:46,375 --> 00:59:48,585
Josh Hartnett is dead!
1429
00:59:48,627 --> 00:59:52,172
Oh, god, I've fucked up.
I've fucked up!
1430
00:59:52,214 --> 00:59:53,549
- What the fuck is goin' on?
1431
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,259
- I can't.
- What the fuck is goin' on?
1432
00:59:55,301 --> 00:59:56,302
[speaking with British accent]
- O-okay, Kevin.
1433
00:59:56,343 --> 00:59:58,012
Don't-Don't be mad.
Don't be mad.
1434
00:59:58,053 --> 01:00:00,097
But this whole thing,
1435
01:00:00,139 --> 01:00:01,974
aside from what just
happened to Josh Hartnett,
1436
01:00:02,016 --> 01:00:03,642
has-has been scripted.
1437
01:00:03,684 --> 01:00:04,685
- What the fuck
is that accent?
1438
01:00:04,727 --> 01:00:06,145
- I was acting,
I'm sorry!
1439
01:00:06,186 --> 01:00:08,355
I'm not from Chicago,
I'm from Essex!
1440
01:00:08,397 --> 01:00:10,941
Claude Van De Velde wanted you
at your most authentic,
1441
01:00:10,983 --> 01:00:13,569
so he hid a bunch
of cameras in here
1442
01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:15,654
to film us playing roles,
doing the stunts,
1443
01:00:15,696 --> 01:00:16,989
all of it.
1444
01:00:17,031 --> 01:00:18,532
But whatever just happened
wasn't part of it.
1445
01:00:18,574 --> 01:00:20,826
Which is fucking insane, Ron!
For fuck's sake!
1446
01:00:20,868 --> 01:00:22,286
- For fuck's sake?
1447
01:00:22,328 --> 01:00:23,495
That's what you
wanna say to me?
1448
01:00:23,537 --> 01:00:25,122
For fuck's sake?
1449
01:00:29,293 --> 01:00:33,756
[speaking foreign language]
1450
01:00:33,797 --> 01:00:36,175
- Talk in your regular voice.
- All right.
1451
01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:38,677
No, I've lost it now.
I'm in my head!
1452
01:00:38,719 --> 01:00:41,430
- Who does that?
Who does this to somebody?
1453
01:00:41,472 --> 01:00:44,266
[grunts]
[gunfire]
1454
01:00:53,442 --> 01:00:55,819
Oh, shit. You okay?
1455
01:00:55,861 --> 01:00:59,656
- Oh, god.
I'm such a fucking idiot!
1456
01:00:59,698 --> 01:01:02,534
What was I thinking?
- What the hell was that, man?
1457
01:01:02,576 --> 01:01:03,952
- You want to know
what the hell is going on?
1458
01:01:03,994 --> 01:01:05,079
- You're goddamn right
I wanna know what's going on.
1459
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:06,622
- I bought some drugs.
1460
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:09,416
I sold them to the wrong people.
- What?
1461
01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:12,127
- And Rodrigo got mad at me
and we got into a fight.
1462
01:01:12,169 --> 01:01:14,338
And then, I accidentally
killed him.
1463
01:01:14,380 --> 01:01:15,964
- You did kill Rodrigo.
- Yes.
1464
01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:17,341
- I told you
he fuckin' killed him.
1465
01:01:17,383 --> 01:01:19,802
- And that necklace.
That necklace was his necklace.
1466
01:01:19,843 --> 01:01:21,720
I'm a horrible person.
1467
01:01:21,762 --> 01:01:23,889
I'm going straight
to hell.
1468
01:01:23,931 --> 01:01:25,682
- You're goddamn right
you're going to hell.
1469
01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:27,101
What are you doing?
- Claude!
1470
01:01:27,142 --> 01:01:29,061
- What are you doin', Ron?
- Claude!
1471
01:01:29,103 --> 01:01:32,106
Claude, if you're watchin',
you call the cops right now.
1472
01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:33,941
You call the fuckin cops.
1473
01:01:33,982 --> 01:01:36,402
- Senor Wilcox!
1474
01:01:36,443 --> 01:01:38,070
- Oh, shit.
1475
01:01:38,112 --> 01:01:39,822
- My nephew Rodrigo's body
washed up
1476
01:01:39,863 --> 01:01:42,324
4 miles due south
of here!
1477
01:01:42,366 --> 01:01:45,160
A coincidence, no?
1478
01:01:45,202 --> 01:01:47,204
I'm gonna give you
2 minutes.
1479
01:01:47,246 --> 01:01:50,249
Exactly dos minutos
to bring your ass out here
1480
01:01:50,290 --> 01:01:51,625
and face me like a man!
1481
01:01:51,667 --> 01:01:54,211
If not, I'm gonna set fire
to the building
1482
01:01:54,253 --> 01:01:55,712
and burn you
like a chicharone.
1483
01:01:55,754 --> 01:01:58,382
[whimpering]
1484
01:01:58,424 --> 01:02:01,343
- Snap out of it!
- I can't! It's over!
1485
01:02:01,385 --> 01:02:03,011
- Listen to me,
motherfucker.
1486
01:02:03,053 --> 01:02:05,681
This is why men shouldn't be
left in charge of anything!
1487
01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:08,434
My career is just now
becoming the thing
1488
01:02:08,475 --> 01:02:11,478
that I have worked
my entire life towards!
1489
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,939
And I'm not dying because
of you, you fucking idiot.
1490
01:02:13,981 --> 01:02:16,108
- We're all gonna die!
1491
01:02:16,150 --> 01:02:18,777
[scream]
1492
01:02:18,819 --> 01:02:21,071
- Oh, shit.
- What the fuck, man?
1493
01:02:21,113 --> 01:02:23,157
- Everybody gotta
calm the fuck down!
1494
01:02:23,198 --> 01:02:25,367
- They're all blanks.
1495
01:02:25,409 --> 01:02:27,369
- Hey. Hey. Hey.
- Don't hit me.
1496
01:02:27,411 --> 01:02:29,580
- I'm not gonna hit you.
Look.
1497
01:02:29,621 --> 01:02:32,499
When I first walked through
that door, you told me.
1498
01:02:32,541 --> 01:02:33,792
You said, "Kevin--"
1499
01:02:33,834 --> 01:02:36,003
You said an action hero
is not in here.
1500
01:02:36,044 --> 01:02:38,505
You said it's not in here.
- Uh-huh.
1501
01:02:38,547 --> 01:02:40,215
- You said that it's here.
1502
01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:42,092
It's in your heart, man.
1503
01:02:42,134 --> 01:02:44,636
You know, clearly,
you done made some mistakes.
1504
01:02:44,678 --> 01:02:46,555
And one of those mistakes
involved murderin'
1505
01:02:46,597 --> 01:02:48,307
the nephew of some kind
of drug lord.
1506
01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:50,184
[wailing]
- Oh, god.
1507
01:02:50,225 --> 01:02:51,852
I killed him!
1508
01:02:51,894 --> 01:02:54,021
- I'm not tryin' to
fuckin' upset you, man.
1509
01:02:54,062 --> 01:02:56,231
Listen.
I know that you know.
1510
01:02:56,273 --> 01:02:59,526
I know that you know that
there's an action hero in there.
1511
01:02:59,568 --> 01:03:02,654
And I know that a true
action hero is-is-is tough.
1512
01:03:02,696 --> 01:03:03,906
Is confident.
1513
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:06,200
And they're unfazed
by the minor details
1514
01:03:06,241 --> 01:03:08,452
that disrupt
your average lay person.
1515
01:03:08,494 --> 01:03:11,872
They will take responsibility
for their shit.
1516
01:03:11,914 --> 01:03:14,249
You go out there
and you tell the truth, man.
1517
01:03:14,291 --> 01:03:16,293
Tell the fucking truth.
1518
01:03:16,335 --> 01:03:19,004
Say Rodrigo's death--
say it was an accident.
1519
01:03:19,046 --> 01:03:21,256
Say it was a fucking accident.
And give 'em--
1520
01:03:21,298 --> 01:03:23,217
Give 'em this.
Here.
1521
01:03:23,258 --> 01:03:24,468
You give 'em this,
1522
01:03:24,510 --> 01:03:26,178
say you wanna make
things right.
1523
01:03:26,220 --> 01:03:27,304
- I wanna make it right.
- That's all you gotta do!
1524
01:03:27,346 --> 01:03:28,972
Say I wanna make it right.
I'm sorry.
1525
01:03:29,014 --> 01:03:30,474
I fucked up.
- I fucked up.
1526
01:03:30,516 --> 01:03:32,518
- I wanna tell the truth.
- I wanna tell the truth.
1527
01:03:32,559 --> 01:03:34,394
- That's it!
- I don't wanna make a mistake.
1528
01:03:34,436 --> 01:03:35,521
- Okay, listen.
1529
01:03:35,562 --> 01:03:38,148
All you gotta do
is be the action hero
1530
01:03:38,190 --> 01:03:41,693
that you wanna see
in the world.
1531
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:43,987
- Thank you.
1532
01:03:44,029 --> 01:03:45,906
Thank you.
1533
01:03:45,948 --> 01:03:47,449
- Tell the truth, man.
1534
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:54,581
- That was amazing.
1535
01:04:00,254 --> 01:04:01,630
- Amigos!
1536
01:04:01,672 --> 01:04:02,756
Amigos.
1537
01:04:02,798 --> 01:04:04,258
Peace. Peace.
1538
01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:05,759
- Paz.
1539
01:04:05,801 --> 01:04:07,094
- Paz. Paz.
1540
01:04:07,135 --> 01:04:08,095
- Paz. Paz. Paz. Uh...
1541
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:10,722
- Shit, it's
actually working.
1542
01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:13,141
Kevin, did you just
save our lives?
1543
01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:15,477
- No. I just know
that being the hero
1544
01:04:15,519 --> 01:04:18,021
means ownin' up
to your mistakes.
1545
01:04:18,063 --> 01:04:21,066
I had to learn
the same thing in my life.
1546
01:04:21,108 --> 01:04:23,986
Just glad that Ron can
learn the same thing too.
1547
01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:28,282
[gunshots]
1548
01:04:28,323 --> 01:04:30,117
- Shit!
1549
01:04:30,158 --> 01:04:31,577
What the fuck!
1550
01:04:48,468 --> 01:04:50,053
Is he dead?
1551
01:04:50,095 --> 01:04:52,180
- I mean, he took a lot
of bullets. I think so.
1552
01:04:52,222 --> 01:04:53,473
- We gotta check.
1553
01:04:53,515 --> 01:04:54,600
We gotta check to see
if he's still alive.
1554
01:04:57,144 --> 01:04:58,478
[gunshots]
1555
01:04:58,520 --> 01:04:59,313
He's dead.
- Yeah.
1556
01:04:59,354 --> 01:05:00,355
- He's dead.
- Yeah.
1557
01:05:00,397 --> 01:05:03,108
- He's fuckin' dead.
- Okay. Okay.
1558
01:05:03,150 --> 01:05:05,736
Maybe if we just stay quiet,
they'll leave.
1559
01:05:05,777 --> 01:05:07,779
- I like that plan.
Yeah. Yeah.
1560
01:05:07,821 --> 01:05:08,989
- Juan. Ortiz.
Go inside.
1561
01:05:09,031 --> 01:05:10,532
If there's any witnesses,
kill them.
1562
01:05:10,574 --> 01:05:11,783
- Hide!
[overlapping chatter]
1563
01:05:11,825 --> 01:05:12,909
Go!
1564
01:05:12,951 --> 01:05:14,328
- Fuck.
1565
01:05:14,369 --> 01:05:15,746
- Close it, close it,
close it.
1566
01:05:15,787 --> 01:05:16,788
Hold it. Hold it.
1567
01:05:22,919 --> 01:05:24,713
Hey, do we got any more
real bullets?
1568
01:05:24,755 --> 01:05:26,173
[banging]
- I checked already,
1569
01:05:26,214 --> 01:05:27,424
they're blanks.
1570
01:05:27,466 --> 01:05:28,467
- What do you mean
they're fucking blanks?
1571
01:05:28,508 --> 01:05:30,552
Is everything in here
a fuckin' prop?
1572
01:05:30,594 --> 01:05:31,845
[banging]
What about the knife?
1573
01:05:31,887 --> 01:05:33,013
The knife
I stabbed you with?
1574
01:05:33,055 --> 01:05:34,890
- It was retractable.
Fake blood.
1575
01:05:34,931 --> 01:05:38,477
- Shit! Are you
fucking kidding me?
1576
01:05:38,518 --> 01:05:40,270
Shit! Go.
Go, go, go!
1577
01:05:53,283 --> 01:05:54,534
- Kevin?
1578
01:05:54,576 --> 01:05:56,036
- Yeah.
1579
01:05:56,078 --> 01:05:57,871
- Um, if anything happens
1580
01:05:57,913 --> 01:05:59,790
and we don't
get out of here alive,
1581
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:03,168
I just want you to know--
- Stop.
1582
01:06:03,210 --> 01:06:05,962
I love you too.
1583
01:06:06,004 --> 01:06:08,548
- Uh...
- Shit. You were gonna
1584
01:06:08,590 --> 01:06:10,717
say somethin' else,
weren't you?
1585
01:06:10,759 --> 01:06:12,052
You were gonna say it
was nice knowin' me?
1586
01:06:12,094 --> 01:06:13,720
- Yeah.
- Fuck me.
1587
01:06:13,762 --> 01:06:16,181
We're about to die.
You could've at least lied.
1588
01:06:16,223 --> 01:06:17,808
I mean, you've been lying
this entire week,
1589
01:06:17,849 --> 01:06:19,142
wouldn't have made
that big of a difference.
1590
01:06:19,184 --> 01:06:22,062
- I'm sorry.
I was hired to play a role
1591
01:06:22,104 --> 01:06:23,730
and they paid me
a lot of money.
1592
01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:25,357
Like, a lot.
1593
01:06:25,399 --> 01:06:26,525
- You're not making it
any better.
1594
01:06:26,566 --> 01:06:28,235
You're actually making it
a lot worse.
1595
01:06:28,276 --> 01:06:30,195
- Shh.
Did you hear that?
1596
01:06:30,237 --> 01:06:31,655
- Shit.
They're coming.
1597
01:06:31,697 --> 01:06:33,198
Play dead.
- What? No.
1598
01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:34,574
- They'll walk in here,
they'll see that we're dead,
1599
01:06:34,616 --> 01:06:35,534
and then they'll leave.
1600
01:06:35,575 --> 01:06:36,827
- But how-how did we die?
1601
01:06:36,868 --> 01:06:38,495
- I can't hear you.
I'm dying.
1602
01:06:57,806 --> 01:06:59,933
- What the...
1603
01:06:59,975 --> 01:07:01,852
[grunting]
1604
01:07:06,940 --> 01:07:09,735
[screaming]
1605
01:07:09,776 --> 01:07:12,028
- Oy! Did you hear that?
1606
01:07:12,070 --> 01:07:13,613
- Yeah.
I think it's Ortiz.
1607
01:07:13,655 --> 01:07:16,908
- Oh. Then what the fuck
are you waiting for?
1608
01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:18,535
[muttering]
1609
01:07:18,577 --> 01:07:20,370
It's not fuckin'
rocket science.
1610
01:07:20,412 --> 01:07:22,247
[grunting]
1611
01:07:33,175 --> 01:07:34,968
- Kick me, bitch? Huh?
Kick this!
1612
01:07:38,597 --> 01:07:41,183
Kick me twice,
shame on me.
1613
01:07:45,771 --> 01:07:47,856
Kick me three times--
[screaming]
1614
01:07:53,528 --> 01:07:57,199
[gunshots]
1615
01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:07,751
Don't look,
I'm on your fuckin' back.
1616
01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:09,628
Come on, let's get
the fuck outta here.
1617
01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:18,970
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
1618
01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:21,890
Come on.
1619
01:08:29,481 --> 01:08:30,440
You think you can
win a gunfight
1620
01:08:30,482 --> 01:08:31,691
with a Colombian
drug lord?
1621
01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:33,944
- No. We don't have guns
in England.
1622
01:08:33,985 --> 01:08:35,278
Didn't you say you're
from North Philly?
1623
01:08:35,320 --> 01:08:37,489
- What are you doing?
I can't take the gun like that.
1624
01:08:37,531 --> 01:08:39,699
Give it to me right.
1625
01:08:39,741 --> 01:08:41,201
- Ron would be proud.
1626
01:08:41,243 --> 01:08:43,036
- Shut up, Ron would be proud.
1627
01:08:43,078 --> 01:08:44,830
Ron would be proud.
[gunshots]
1628
01:08:44,871 --> 01:08:46,456
Shit!
1629
01:08:46,498 --> 01:08:49,292
Go. Go, go, go.
1630
01:08:49,334 --> 01:08:51,545
Fuck, fuck, go.
1631
01:08:56,383 --> 01:08:57,467
[whistling]
1632
01:09:02,681 --> 01:09:05,308
- Okay. I'm going
to create a distraction,
1633
01:09:05,350 --> 01:09:07,143
and then you're going
to shoot the guy.
1634
01:09:07,185 --> 01:09:08,144
- Yeah.
- Are you ready?
1635
01:09:08,186 --> 01:09:10,146
- I've never been
more ready in my life.
1636
01:09:10,188 --> 01:09:12,858
- On three.
One, two--
1637
01:09:12,899 --> 01:09:14,401
- Wait, wait, wait.
No, don't count like that.
1638
01:09:14,442 --> 01:09:17,612
Go the other way. Three, two--
Like that does better for me.
1639
01:09:17,654 --> 01:09:21,283
- Three, two, one.
1640
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:22,993
[metal clatters]
Go, go, go.
1641
01:09:23,034 --> 01:09:24,160
- It's go-time.
1642
01:09:25,704 --> 01:09:27,873
[gunshots]
Yeah, motherfucker!
1643
01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:29,541
Yeah, motherfucker!
1644
01:09:29,583 --> 01:09:31,251
[gun clicks]
1645
01:09:31,293 --> 01:09:32,752
God damn!
1646
01:09:32,794 --> 01:09:34,129
[gunshots]
Motherfucking prop!
1647
01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:35,630
I'm out! I'm out!
I'm out!
1648
01:09:37,883 --> 01:09:40,218
Fuck!
Almost got him.
1649
01:09:40,260 --> 01:09:42,012
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah.
1650
01:09:44,973 --> 01:09:46,600
- Okay, he's reloading.
1651
01:09:46,641 --> 01:09:47,767
Follow me. Quick.
- Okay.
1652
01:09:47,809 --> 01:09:50,103
Wait, wait. Wait for me!
Wait for me!
1653
01:09:53,565 --> 01:09:54,524
Damn it.
1654
01:09:54,566 --> 01:09:56,359
Can't believe
I missed his ass.
1655
01:09:56,401 --> 01:09:58,862
I had him. The sight.
It's gotta be the sight.
1656
01:09:58,904 --> 01:10:00,113
The sight is off with this.
- No, Kevin.
1657
01:10:00,155 --> 01:10:02,240
You just can't shoot for shit.
We need to think!
1658
01:10:02,282 --> 01:10:05,118
There has to be something
in here we can use.
1659
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:07,954
- Guess what we can't use? This.
It's out of bullets.
1660
01:10:07,996 --> 01:10:09,372
I ain't got
no more bullets.
1661
01:10:09,414 --> 01:10:10,957
[gun clatters]
- Kevin! Focus.
1662
01:10:10,999 --> 01:10:12,250
- It's props.
1663
01:10:12,292 --> 01:10:14,377
It's a bunch of fuckin'
props over here.
1664
01:10:14,419 --> 01:10:21,176
♪♪♪
1665
01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:23,261
Whoop, there it is.
1666
01:10:25,013 --> 01:10:26,723
[door creaking]
1667
01:10:34,314 --> 01:10:36,524
[car horn honking]
1668
01:10:36,566 --> 01:10:51,456
♪♪♪
1669
01:11:03,343 --> 01:11:06,346
[gunshots]
1670
01:11:06,388 --> 01:11:09,265
- [Kevin] Hell no!
Oh, hell no!
1671
01:11:09,307 --> 01:11:12,435
[static]
Oh hell no! No-no-no--
1672
01:11:12,477 --> 01:11:13,937
- Got you,
motherfucker!
1673
01:11:16,022 --> 01:11:17,232
Oh shit!
1674
01:11:18,817 --> 01:11:20,944
Okay, okay,
okay, okay.
1675
01:11:20,986 --> 01:11:23,488
[grunting]
1676
01:11:23,530 --> 01:11:24,364
Hold his ass.
1677
01:11:29,035 --> 01:11:32,288
Oh, you thought it
was over, didn't you?
1678
01:11:32,330 --> 01:11:34,040
But I don't
travel alone.
1679
01:11:34,082 --> 01:11:36,501
No, I got my friends
with me.
1680
01:11:36,543 --> 01:11:40,296
Let me introduce you to
Mr. Fuck Shit and Mr. Up.
1681
01:11:40,338 --> 01:11:42,799
- Kevin, shut up!
- Okay. No, no, I was--
1682
01:11:42,841 --> 01:11:44,009
I had more,
but I can cut it.
1683
01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:45,260
Hold this motherfucker.
1684
01:11:47,178 --> 01:11:50,056
Shit! I thought
you had his feet!
1685
01:11:53,435 --> 01:11:56,730
Shit! Yeah.
We got his ass.
1686
01:11:56,771 --> 01:11:58,273
- I got him.
1687
01:11:58,314 --> 01:12:00,775
- Ain't no "I" in "team."
Put it up here.
1688
01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:02,318
Let's get outta here.
Come on.
1689
01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:05,321
Watch your step.
Watch your step. Let's go.
1690
01:12:05,363 --> 01:12:06,823
He kicked me right in
the fucking nose,
1691
01:12:06,865 --> 01:12:08,033
son of a bitch.
1692
01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:15,749
Run! Run.
1693
01:12:24,716 --> 01:12:26,760
Hey, wait a minute,
Jordan.
1694
01:12:26,801 --> 01:12:28,303
Jordan, slow down.
It's a cliff.
1695
01:12:28,344 --> 01:12:29,721
It's a cliff!
It's a cliff!
1696
01:12:34,851 --> 01:12:35,685
Oh, shit.
1697
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,147
- Come on, we've got to go.
1698
01:12:39,189 --> 01:12:42,150
- I can't! I can't do that.
That's too far.
1699
01:12:42,192 --> 01:12:44,903
I'm sorry.
- Jesus Christ, just jump.
1700
01:12:44,944 --> 01:12:47,405
- Just go. Go save yourself!
- No!
1701
01:12:47,447 --> 01:12:50,075
We're both getting out of here.
Now, hurry the fuck up!
1702
01:12:52,952 --> 01:12:57,290
- Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
1703
01:12:57,332 --> 01:12:58,208
Fuck!
1704
01:13:01,753 --> 01:13:03,254
Go. Go. Go.
1705
01:13:03,296 --> 01:13:04,130
Shit.
1706
01:13:09,010 --> 01:13:11,179
Why didn't you say
you love me back?
1707
01:13:11,221 --> 01:13:14,974
- Uh, I dunno.
We just--
1708
01:13:15,016 --> 01:13:16,893
We're just kinda getting
to know each other and--
1709
01:13:16,935 --> 01:13:18,019
[gunshot]
1710
01:13:18,061 --> 01:13:19,145
[yelps]
1711
01:13:25,944 --> 01:13:29,531
- Any last words
before I blow your brains out?
1712
01:13:29,572 --> 01:13:31,950
- Don't shoot me, okay?
1713
01:13:31,991 --> 01:13:34,410
You ain't gotta
do this.
1714
01:13:34,452 --> 01:13:35,787
You ain't gotta
do this, man.
1715
01:13:41,876 --> 01:13:43,711
Yeah. Just let me...
1716
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,297
[imitates squirrel]
1717
01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:49,008
- Why are you doing that?
1718
01:13:49,050 --> 01:13:52,178
Cut it out.
Stop it!
1719
01:13:52,220 --> 01:13:54,264
You look at me
when I kill you.
1720
01:13:54,305 --> 01:13:55,390
Look at me!
1721
01:13:55,431 --> 01:13:57,308
I know that there's
nothing up there.
1722
01:14:00,019 --> 01:14:01,563
[grunting]
1723
01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:14,784
[ringing]
1724
01:14:14,826 --> 01:14:15,994
[grunting]
1725
01:14:30,383 --> 01:14:32,677
Ah, shit!
1726
01:14:32,719 --> 01:14:37,473
[yelling]
1727
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:40,602
- Go home. I'm sure there's
a real hero somewhere
1728
01:14:40,643 --> 01:14:42,020
in need of
a goofy sidekick.
1729
01:14:42,061 --> 01:14:43,563
[panting]
1730
01:14:43,605 --> 01:14:45,857
Well, you're not
alone anymore.
1731
01:14:49,027 --> 01:14:51,613
[wincing]
1732
01:14:51,654 --> 01:14:54,240
I've got you,
I promise!
1733
01:14:54,282 --> 01:14:55,909
Kevin!
1734
01:14:55,950 --> 01:14:57,744
Focus.
1735
01:14:59,871 --> 01:15:01,247
[grunting]
1736
01:15:05,668 --> 01:15:08,129
[yelling]
1737
01:15:08,171 --> 01:15:09,088
[thud]
1738
01:15:11,799 --> 01:15:13,885
- I owe you one.
1739
01:15:13,927 --> 01:15:15,303
[imitates squirrel]
1740
01:15:21,351 --> 01:15:23,603
I'm comin' for you.
1741
01:15:23,645 --> 01:15:24,854
I'm comin'.
1742
01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:31,611
It's a simple jump.
1743
01:15:31,653 --> 01:15:34,614
Three, two, one.
1744
01:15:44,666 --> 01:15:47,585
Hey.
Hey, come on.
1745
01:15:47,627 --> 01:15:49,754
Jordan, no.
Come on, get up. Get up.
1746
01:15:49,796 --> 01:15:51,714
Jordan, no.
1747
01:15:51,756 --> 01:15:54,092
Look at me.
Look at me.
1748
01:15:54,133 --> 01:15:57,929
Don't you die. Don't you die.
I'm not gonna let you die.
1749
01:15:57,971 --> 01:16:03,059
Come on, Jordan. You can't--
you can't die, not--
1750
01:16:03,101 --> 01:16:06,562
Come on, Jordan.
Get up. Don't do--
1751
01:16:06,604 --> 01:16:09,607
Jordan! Jordan!
1752
01:16:09,649 --> 01:16:12,235
I jumped.
I got over here.
1753
01:16:12,277 --> 01:16:15,613
Jordan?
I fucking jumped!
1754
01:16:15,655 --> 01:16:19,200
[crying]
I fucking jumped.
1755
01:16:22,829 --> 01:16:24,122
I fuckin'--
1756
01:16:24,163 --> 01:16:28,209
Breathe.
[clapping]
1757
01:16:28,251 --> 01:16:30,378
- Bravo.
1758
01:16:30,420 --> 01:16:32,839
It's a wrap, everybody.
1759
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:35,091
[cheers and applause]
Bravo.
1760
01:16:40,096 --> 01:16:41,514
- A wrap?
1761
01:16:41,556 --> 01:16:42,849
- Agent Hart!
1762
01:16:42,890 --> 01:16:43,933
- Coach Ron?
1763
01:16:43,975 --> 01:16:47,228
- Woo! Yeah!
1764
01:16:47,270 --> 01:16:49,188
- Yeah!
- Oh, yeah.
1765
01:16:49,230 --> 01:16:50,481
- What the fuck
is happening?
1766
01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:54,861
- Hey, baby. It was good workin'
with you.
1767
01:16:54,902 --> 01:16:56,529
No hard feelings, man.
Sorry.
1768
01:17:04,287 --> 01:17:07,290
- Hi.
- Oh, no. Come on, Jordan.
1769
01:17:07,332 --> 01:17:09,751
This was a part of it, too?
- Yeah.
1770
01:17:09,792 --> 01:17:12,295
Sorry, Kevin.
- Jordan.
1771
01:17:12,337 --> 01:17:14,505
I really thought
that I lost you.
1772
01:17:14,547 --> 01:17:17,342
- Oh, Kevin.
1773
01:17:17,383 --> 01:17:19,510
- Well, I guess I'm glad
that you're alive.
1774
01:17:19,552 --> 01:17:21,804
- Well, movie magic.
1775
01:17:24,766 --> 01:17:27,101
- Movie magic.
- Very good. Very good, guys.
1776
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:33,775
- Jordan, no.
Come on. Get up. Get up.
1777
01:17:33,816 --> 01:17:36,361
Jordan, you can't do this.
Don't die.
1778
01:17:36,402 --> 01:17:39,030
Come on, Jordan.
Get up. Don't do--
1779
01:17:39,072 --> 01:17:43,159
Jordan!
Jordan!
1780
01:17:43,201 --> 01:17:46,537
I did it. I jumped.
I got over here!
1781
01:17:46,579 --> 01:17:50,458
Jordan.
I fuckin' jumped!
1782
01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:53,920
[crying]
I fuckin' jumped.
1783
01:17:53,961 --> 01:18:01,844
♪♪♪
1784
01:18:01,886 --> 01:18:05,056
[clapping]
1785
01:18:10,019 --> 01:18:12,688
[sighs]
- Well?
1786
01:18:18,736 --> 01:18:21,322
- That may be the strangest
movie I've ever seen.
1787
01:18:24,367 --> 01:18:28,788
So bizarre
and-and-and violent.
1788
01:18:31,999 --> 01:18:36,587
And yet...
authentic.
1789
01:18:39,799 --> 01:18:42,051
You can't teach
acting like that.
1790
01:18:42,093 --> 01:18:43,386
- So, you liked it?
- Like it?
1791
01:18:43,428 --> 01:18:45,138
I like kidney-shaped
swimming pools.
1792
01:18:45,179 --> 01:18:46,931
I like reduced-fat
eggnog.
1793
01:18:46,973 --> 01:18:49,016
This movie?
1794
01:18:49,058 --> 01:18:50,977
I loved.
1795
01:18:51,018 --> 01:18:52,895
- He loves it.
1796
01:18:52,937 --> 01:18:54,981
- How does it feel
to be a leading man
1797
01:18:55,022 --> 01:18:56,607
in your own
action movie?
1798
01:18:56,649 --> 01:18:59,652
- Wow.
- Kevin, please.
1799
01:18:59,694 --> 01:19:01,446
- Oh, the same stage.
1800
01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:02,905
Uh...
[applause]
1801
01:19:02,947 --> 01:19:05,324
Oh, stop, stop.
Guys.
1802
01:19:05,366 --> 01:19:07,910
Well, I learned
two things.
1803
01:19:07,952 --> 01:19:10,329
The first thing is
that it's dangerous.
1804
01:19:10,371 --> 01:19:12,039
It's dangerous
as hell.
1805
01:19:12,081 --> 01:19:14,208
I mean, I was set on fire.
[chuckling]
1806
01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:15,501
I was hit in the head
with a bat.
1807
01:19:15,543 --> 01:19:17,628
Punched. Kicked.
I'm really gonna be scarred.
1808
01:19:17,670 --> 01:19:19,672
[laughing]
- Yeah, he probably is.
1809
01:19:19,714 --> 01:19:20,756
- No, I'm serious. I don't know
why you're laughing,
1810
01:19:20,798 --> 01:19:22,341
I'm being very serious.
[laughing]
1811
01:19:22,383 --> 01:19:24,427
I'm gonna have real issues
because of this guy right here.
1812
01:19:24,469 --> 01:19:25,803
- Fuck yeah!
- It's not--
1813
01:19:25,845 --> 01:19:29,098
It's not a fuck yeah.
It's a serious thing.
1814
01:19:31,434 --> 01:19:35,271
The second thing that
I learned is that, uh,
1815
01:19:35,313 --> 01:19:40,234
there's no such thing
as a leading man.
1816
01:19:40,276 --> 01:19:42,695
'Cause you're nothing
without your co-stars.
1817
01:19:45,990 --> 01:19:48,576
And I had that
in-in you guys.
1818
01:19:48,618 --> 01:19:50,453
So, thank you. Come on.
Get up here.
1819
01:19:50,495 --> 01:19:51,829
Seriously. Get up here.
- Bro.
1820
01:19:51,871 --> 01:19:53,247
- Buddy.
- Take this in.
1821
01:19:53,289 --> 01:19:54,874
Take it in with me.
1822
01:19:54,916 --> 01:19:57,001
Wait, wait.
Do I get top billing?
1823
01:19:57,043 --> 01:19:58,336
- Yeah. You'll have
top billing.
1824
01:19:58,377 --> 01:19:59,670
- Nice.
I forgot to ask.
1825
01:19:59,712 --> 01:20:01,172
- Well, I think it's time
to celebrate.
1826
01:20:01,214 --> 01:20:02,298
- Yes!
- Yes!
1827
01:20:02,340 --> 01:20:04,217
- Looks like we've got
a hit on our hands!
1828
01:20:04,258 --> 01:20:06,344
- Ron, congratulations!
1829
01:20:06,385 --> 01:20:10,431
- Congratulations, everybody.
[applause]
1830
01:20:10,473 --> 01:20:13,351
- Ladies and gentlemen, we have
a real treat for you today.
1831
01:20:13,392 --> 01:20:15,186
- Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Easy with the spoilers.
1832
01:20:15,228 --> 01:20:17,271
This requires a little
dramatic build-up.
1833
01:20:17,313 --> 01:20:18,814
- Okay.
Here it is.
1834
01:20:18,856 --> 01:20:20,233
Now, you know that
I'm not a big fan
1835
01:20:20,274 --> 01:20:23,194
of these high-budget
action films.
1836
01:20:23,236 --> 01:20:24,278
- Here she goes again
1837
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:26,572
with her love
of fancy foreign films.
1838
01:20:26,614 --> 01:20:28,324
- I have discerning taste.
This is my build-up.
1839
01:20:28,366 --> 01:20:30,159
This is what you requested.
- Continue.
1840
01:20:30,201 --> 01:20:32,787
- This movie
by Claude Van De Velde moved me.
1841
01:20:32,828 --> 01:20:34,747
I gotta say.
- It's an incredible film.
1842
01:20:34,789 --> 01:20:36,624
I've seen it 27 times.
1843
01:20:36,666 --> 01:20:38,167
Team Van de Velde right here.
1844
01:20:38,209 --> 01:20:40,962
- The hero of this movie
is not the action star
1845
01:20:41,003 --> 01:20:42,171
that you would expect.
1846
01:20:42,213 --> 01:20:45,007
The one that really
saves the day.
1847
01:20:45,049 --> 01:20:46,801
Well, we have him here today.
1848
01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:49,804
Ladies and gentlemen,
Sassy the squirrel.
1849
01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:51,472
[cheers and applause]
1850
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:53,933
- Oh, you're a lot bigger
in person.
1851
01:20:53,975 --> 01:20:55,935
- Oh, hell no.
1852
01:20:55,977 --> 01:21:10,866
♪♪♪
1853
01:21:26,007 --> 01:21:40,896
♪♪♪
1854
01:21:56,037 --> 01:22:10,926
♪♪♪
1855
01:22:26,067 --> 01:22:40,956
♪♪♪
1856
01:22:56,097 --> 01:23:10,986
♪♪♪