1
00:00:06,846 --> 00:00:08,848
[bell ringing]
2
00:00:08,931 --> 00:00:11,267
- [man] All right, who's ready
to have a good time, huh?
3
00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:13,310
That's right.
So welcome here.
4
00:00:13,394 --> 00:00:15,604
Uh, show of hands,
how many people have been
5
00:00:15,688 --> 00:00:17,022
to a taping
of a TV show before?
6
00:00:17,106 --> 00:00:18,524
- Thank you.
7
00:00:18,607 --> 00:00:22,194
Okay, just remember,
the movie's hilarious.
8
00:00:22,278 --> 00:00:23,487
Everyone buy tickets.
9
00:00:23,571 --> 00:00:25,781
- Let me ask you a question.
- Yeah?
10
00:00:25,865 --> 00:00:26,866
- Do you think I'm good
in the movie?
11
00:00:26,949 --> 00:00:28,075
- Come on, Kev,
I'm your agent.
12
00:00:28,159 --> 00:00:29,660
Of course, I think you're good
in the movie.
13
00:00:29,744 --> 00:00:31,787
You know who else thinks
you're good in the movie?
14
00:00:31,871 --> 00:00:33,831
The studio.
Now, go knock 'em dead.
15
00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:36,500
Big smiles, big laughs,
you're America's funny man.
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00:00:36,584 --> 00:00:38,669
- [man] The house band's gonna
play a little bit for ya,
17
00:00:38,753 --> 00:00:39,754
and, uh, we're gonna have
a great time, all right?
18
00:00:39,837 --> 00:00:41,547
- America's funny man.
19
00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:44,300
[cheers and applause]
20
00:00:44,383 --> 00:00:47,094
- Oh, now, Kev,
people are just raving
21
00:00:47,178 --> 00:00:48,429
about this new movie
of yours.
22
00:00:48,512 --> 00:00:50,264
- Oh, my God,
they are raving.
23
00:00:50,347 --> 00:00:53,642
- You are working with
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson,
24
00:00:53,726 --> 00:00:55,728
playing
his comedy sidekick again.
25
00:00:55,811 --> 00:00:57,313
What is this,
the sixth time now?
26
00:00:57,396 --> 00:00:59,732
- Number six.
- How do you keep it so fresh?
27
00:00:59,815 --> 00:01:02,485
- I mean, look,
Dwayne and I are, um,
28
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you know, we're friends.
29
00:01:03,527 --> 00:01:04,779
- Lucky.
- Hashtag, Jealous.
30
00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:06,405
[laughing]
31
00:01:06,489 --> 00:01:08,991
- He's lucky, too.
He's lucky, too.
32
00:01:09,074 --> 00:01:10,701
But, I mean, look,
when you are friends,
33
00:01:10,785 --> 00:01:12,119
you feed off of each other,
34
00:01:12,203 --> 00:01:14,079
that energy, of course,
transfers.
35
00:01:14,163 --> 00:01:15,456
But, uh, I don't know,
I would like to think
36
00:01:15,539 --> 00:01:18,709
of my-my characters
as-as heroes as well.
37
00:01:18,793 --> 00:01:21,128
[laughing]
38
00:01:21,212 --> 00:01:24,632
- I don't know...
I don't know why the laugh.
39
00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:26,383
I'm very serious.
40
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,260
You know, I've actually
I've been--
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00:01:28,344 --> 00:01:29,929
I've been trying to become
a leading man,
42
00:01:30,012 --> 00:01:32,181
you know, do more
of an action star thing,
43
00:01:32,264 --> 00:01:34,433
but I've been-I've been
somewhat typecast.
44
00:01:34,517 --> 00:01:35,810
For some reason, people only
see me as the funny guy.
45
00:01:35,893 --> 00:01:37,102
- You make me laugh.
- No.
46
00:01:37,186 --> 00:01:38,103
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
47
00:01:38,187 --> 00:01:39,230
Glad-glad, you know,
appreciate it.
48
00:01:39,313 --> 00:01:41,565
- I'm not an easy audience.
[laughing]
49
00:01:41,649 --> 00:01:42,650
- Yeah, you know,
but it's just it's--
50
00:01:42,733 --> 00:01:45,069
I can do more
than show up
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00:01:45,152 --> 00:01:47,738
and do the funny
or do the dance. I'm--
52
00:01:47,822 --> 00:01:49,031
- Would you, though?
- Would you do that dance?
53
00:01:49,114 --> 00:01:50,074
- Come on.
- Come on!
54
00:01:50,157 --> 00:01:53,118
Who wants to see
Kevin dance, huh?
55
00:01:53,202 --> 00:01:55,704
- We'll get
the "Macarena" going.
56
00:01:55,788 --> 00:01:58,374
- No. No.
57
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I'm not--
I'm not gonna dance.
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- Next time.
Next time then, for sure.
59
00:02:01,293 --> 00:02:02,586
- Now, here's just a question.
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00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:05,798
Like, okay, when you--
when you see Idris Elba, right,
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00:02:05,881 --> 00:02:07,925
you see him and you go,
"Wow, that's an action star".
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00:02:08,008 --> 00:02:10,636
But if you took
six inches off of Idris,
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nobody--
nobody's gonna give a shit.
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00:02:12,263 --> 00:02:13,681
- Okay-okay, just--
- Okay.
65
00:02:13,764 --> 00:02:15,850
- Gentle reminder here,
it's a live broadcast.
66
00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:17,351
- Got it.
But you get my point.
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Nobody's gonna care.
- Right.
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00:02:18,811 --> 00:02:20,020
- All right,
if he was smaller.
69
00:02:20,104 --> 00:02:21,605
I mean, I don't think
I know any action stars
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00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:24,108
that are 5'7".
Can we name one?
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00:02:24,191 --> 00:02:27,027
- There's, um...
Oh, there's Mr. Tom Cruise.
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- Oh, wonderful.
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- Who we love.
A favorite here on the show.
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- Okay. Tom Cruise.
That's one. All right.
75
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- Jackie Chan.
- Yeah!
76
00:02:32,992 --> 00:02:35,327
- Isn't he great.
- Oh, he's a little guy.
77
00:02:35,411 --> 00:02:37,496
- I feel like
you're being a dick.
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00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:39,915
- Is-Is this a bit?
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00:02:39,999 --> 00:02:41,584
Are you guys--
is this a bit?
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00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:44,128
- I-I think it may have been.
Getting back to the movie,
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00:02:44,211 --> 00:02:46,297
tell us-tell us
just how great this movie is.
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- The, uh,
the movie's garbage.
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00:02:48,841 --> 00:02:51,886
- Sorry?
- Yeah, the movie's garbage.
84
00:02:51,969 --> 00:02:54,555
Take the movie, ball it up,
throw it in the trash can.
85
00:02:54,638 --> 00:02:56,932
How many times do you need
to see me in a car
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00:02:57,016 --> 00:02:58,851
with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
87
00:02:58,934 --> 00:03:01,604
And I'm the comedy sidekick,
and he's saving lives,
88
00:03:01,687 --> 00:03:03,981
and I got a catchphrase,
"Oh, hell no"?
89
00:03:04,064 --> 00:03:04,940
- We love it
when you say that.
90
00:03:05,024 --> 00:03:06,775
- Oh, good.
Can you do it again?
91
00:03:06,859 --> 00:03:09,320
- Here's my question.
Why can't I be an action star?
92
00:03:09,403 --> 00:03:12,573
- I read something online
about you being afraid
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00:03:12,656 --> 00:03:14,074
of woodland creatures.
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00:03:14,158 --> 00:03:15,492
- Oh, yes.
- About me what?
95
00:03:15,576 --> 00:03:16,577
- Beaver?
It was it a squirrel?
96
00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:17,578
- Squirrel.
- A squirrel.
97
00:03:17,661 --> 00:03:18,537
- It was a squirrel.
- Yes.
98
00:03:18,621 --> 00:03:19,455
That you have a fear
of squirrels.
99
00:03:19,538 --> 00:03:20,456
- Who's afraid of a squirrel?
100
00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:21,832
- I'm not fuckin' afraid
of a squirrel.
101
00:03:21,916 --> 00:03:23,250
- Okay.
- Ooh.
102
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- I'm not afraid of shit!
- Okay, you've said it.
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You've made your point there.
- I'm not afraid of shit,
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and I'm more than just a guy
that does comedy.
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I'm a fuckin' action star,
all right?
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So why don't you start
taking me a little serious?
107
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Tell me what I am
and what I'm not.
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If I didn't have
what the fuck it takes,
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would I show this?
Or that?
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Back up.
- Yep.
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00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:42,394
- Kev, Kev, Kev.
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Kev, hey, you gotta go
back out there.
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Say it was a joke.
114
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- I'm not telling them
it was a joke.
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You don't get it, man.
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All right? I'm trying
to be taken seriously.
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My whole life, I've dreamed
of becoming an action hero.
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00:03:51,278 --> 00:03:53,364
- Well, you know,
maybe instead of dreaming,
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you should just
stay in your own lane.
120
00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:56,659
- What the fuck
did you just say?
121
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- What are you doin'?
- Ooh!
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00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,163
Pssshhh...
123
00:04:03,207 --> 00:04:05,250
- That was a bit.
Doin' a bit.
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00:04:05,334 --> 00:04:08,837
♪♪♪
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00:04:08,921 --> 00:04:10,547
- [Kevin Hart] I'm not
afraid of [BLEEP]!
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00:04:10,631 --> 00:04:11,840
- [Mikey] Okay, you've said it.
You've made your point there.
127
00:04:11,924 --> 00:04:13,133
- [Kevin] I'm not
afraid of [BLEEP].
- [Mikey] Yup.
128
00:04:13,217 --> 00:04:14,343
- [Kevin] And I'm more than just
a guy that does comedy.
129
00:04:14,426 --> 00:04:16,095
I'm a [BLEEP] action star,
all right?
130
00:04:16,178 --> 00:04:18,347
So why don't you start
[BLEEP] [BLEEP]?
131
00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:20,099
- [Leah] That was our star,
Kevin Hart.
132
00:04:20,182 --> 00:04:24,770
And apparently he's...
going through something.
133
00:04:24,853 --> 00:04:26,397
- To say the least.
You don't see Tom Cruise--
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00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:32,403
[phone vibrating]
135
00:04:32,486 --> 00:04:33,737
- I already know
what you're gonna say.
136
00:04:33,821 --> 00:04:35,823
You're gonna say apologize,
then after that--
137
00:04:35,906 --> 00:04:37,992
- No, no, no, Kev,
it's too late to apologize.
138
00:04:38,075 --> 00:04:40,953
The studio already removed you
from the fuckin' billboard.
139
00:04:41,036 --> 00:04:43,080
- So I'm done?
Just like that, I'm done?
140
00:04:43,163 --> 00:04:45,290
- Maybe not.
141
00:04:45,374 --> 00:04:48,168
Claude Van De Velde
wants to meet with you.
142
00:04:51,422 --> 00:04:53,173
- Claude Van De Velde?
143
00:04:53,257 --> 00:04:54,133
You talking about
the director?
144
00:04:54,216 --> 00:04:55,843
- Yes, Claude Van De Velde,
145
00:04:55,926 --> 00:04:57,803
director of four of the six
biggest action movies
146
00:04:57,886 --> 00:05:01,348
of all time,
saw the interview...
147
00:05:01,432 --> 00:05:02,474
and wants to meet.
148
00:05:02,558 --> 00:05:04,184
- Why?
149
00:05:04,268 --> 00:05:05,811
You know what?
It don't matter.
150
00:05:05,894 --> 00:05:06,979
It doesn't even
fucking matter.
151
00:05:07,062 --> 00:05:09,732
I'm there.
Okay? I'm there.
152
00:05:12,192 --> 00:05:13,569
Oh, shit.
153
00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:21,410
♪♪♪
154
00:05:21,493 --> 00:05:25,497
- I have seen all your films.
I like all your films.
155
00:05:25,581 --> 00:05:27,833
But you, Kevin,
you don't like your films.
156
00:05:27,916 --> 00:05:31,378
- Wow, you can tell, huh?
- Of course I can tell.
157
00:05:31,462 --> 00:05:34,339
You and I,
we are the same.
158
00:05:34,423 --> 00:05:37,760
My movies have grossed
billions of dollars.
159
00:05:37,843 --> 00:05:39,011
Who cares?
- Yeah.
160
00:05:39,094 --> 00:05:41,847
I mean, it's not about
the money, right?
161
00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:45,934
- It is about finding yourself
inside an artistic expression.
162
00:05:46,018 --> 00:05:47,686
- Yes.
163
00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:51,190
- I want to find you, Kevin.
164
00:05:51,273 --> 00:05:53,442
Will you let me find you?
165
00:05:53,525 --> 00:05:57,404
- You found me.
I'm right here, man.
166
00:05:57,488 --> 00:06:00,949
- My next project is
a serious gritty action film.
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00:06:01,033 --> 00:06:05,579
It requires
a serious, gritty actor.
168
00:06:05,662 --> 00:06:07,790
You, Kevin.
169
00:06:07,873 --> 00:06:10,501
I want you
in the leading role.
170
00:06:10,584 --> 00:06:13,003
- Holy shit, man.
You gotta be--
171
00:06:13,087 --> 00:06:15,672
Excuse you. Watch it, man.
- My apologies, sir.
172
00:06:15,756 --> 00:06:18,383
- Mark Wahlberg would not
scream at a party server.
173
00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:20,636
- Oh, I didn't scream.
I didn't scream.
174
00:06:20,719 --> 00:06:23,097
- An action star
is tough, confident,
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00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:24,723
unfazed by minor details
176
00:06:24,807 --> 00:06:27,935
that disrupt
the average person.
177
00:06:28,018 --> 00:06:30,145
- Yeah, I-I was unfazed.
178
00:06:30,229 --> 00:06:31,355
I wasn't fazed
at all from that.
179
00:06:31,438 --> 00:06:33,524
- If you really want
this part,
180
00:06:33,607 --> 00:06:36,276
I need you to attend
a training program.
181
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,863
All the best action stars
have gone through it.
182
00:06:39,947 --> 00:06:41,240
- Are you talkin'
like action star school?
183
00:06:41,323 --> 00:06:45,536
- Stallone, Van Damme,
Steven Seagal,
184
00:06:45,619 --> 00:06:48,080
Jackie Chan,
they're all alums.
185
00:06:48,163 --> 00:06:49,706
- I just kind of assumed
all those guys
186
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:52,793
had to have the juice.
The mojo.
187
00:06:52,876 --> 00:06:54,878
- Do you remember
what Matt Damon
188
00:06:54,962 --> 00:06:57,840
was before
he was Jason Bourne?
189
00:06:57,923 --> 00:06:59,424
- Yeah.
He just won an Oscar.
190
00:06:59,508 --> 00:07:01,135
- Neither do I.
191
00:07:01,218 --> 00:07:04,847
This program turned a no-name
Matt Damon into a leading man
192
00:07:04,930 --> 00:07:06,557
revered around the world.
193
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,101
- Look,
with all due respect,
194
00:07:09,184 --> 00:07:12,146
I don't need that. I don't--
I don't need none of that.
195
00:07:12,229 --> 00:07:13,772
I'm ready now.
196
00:07:13,856 --> 00:07:17,276
I'm ready right now.
197
00:07:17,359 --> 00:07:19,987
- Down here, Kevin.
198
00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:21,697
You don't think
you need training?
199
00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:24,283
You want the part
right now?
200
00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:28,495
Well, your new body is waiting
for you on that rooftop.
201
00:07:31,415 --> 00:07:33,292
Go and get it.
202
00:07:36,587 --> 00:07:43,677
♪♪♪
203
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,596
[exhales]
204
00:07:47,222 --> 00:07:48,557
- Oh, shit!
Ahh!
205
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:49,683
[gasping]
206
00:07:49,766 --> 00:07:51,518
Help! Help me!
Help me!
207
00:07:51,602 --> 00:07:53,312
- So good.
208
00:07:53,395 --> 00:07:54,897
He's doing his famous
"help me" scene
209
00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:56,440
from "Ride Along 2".
- Help!
210
00:07:56,523 --> 00:07:57,900
[applause]
211
00:08:00,277 --> 00:08:02,070
- [Danny Morrison] Look, Kev,
I don't love the idea
212
00:08:02,154 --> 00:08:03,864
of you driving out
to the middle of nowhere
213
00:08:03,947 --> 00:08:05,949
to go to some--
- [Kevin] Action star school.
214
00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:07,659
- [Danny] Right, yes.
That.
215
00:08:07,743 --> 00:08:10,120
Kev, maybe we just
wait a little longer.
216
00:08:10,204 --> 00:08:11,246
Eventually,
the studios will forget
217
00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:12,664
how badly you fucked up,
218
00:08:12,748 --> 00:08:13,749
and they'll offer you
a new sidekick role.
219
00:08:13,832 --> 00:08:16,877
- No, this is my time
to shine.
220
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,338
You believe in me,
don't you?
221
00:08:19,421 --> 00:08:22,716
Don't you?
Danny?
222
00:08:22,799 --> 00:08:25,344
[phone beeping]
You believe in-- Oh, shit.
223
00:08:25,427 --> 00:08:26,970
Damn reception.
224
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,728
♪♪♪
225
00:08:34,811 --> 00:08:36,772
- Oh, hell no.
226
00:08:47,824 --> 00:08:50,494
Ron Wilcox?
227
00:08:50,577 --> 00:08:53,080
[squirrel chatters]
Oh, shit.
228
00:08:53,163 --> 00:08:55,082
Don't be a bitch, Kevin.
229
00:08:55,165 --> 00:08:58,919
Be Academy Award-winning
Matt Damon.
230
00:08:59,002 --> 00:09:00,712
Get the fuck off my car.
231
00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:06,843
Uh...
232
00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:09,721
Hello?
233
00:09:09,805 --> 00:09:13,642
Anybody here?
234
00:09:13,725 --> 00:09:15,894
Claude Van De Velde,
he sent me.
235
00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:17,521
- I don't know, you tell me
what you wanna tell me.
236
00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:20,065
Why are you here?
Why are you here?
237
00:09:20,148 --> 00:09:22,401
- Where's my nephew at?
- Uh, fellas?
238
00:09:22,484 --> 00:09:23,568
- What do you mean
where's your nephew?
239
00:09:23,652 --> 00:09:25,070
I don't know where the fuck
your nephew is.
240
00:09:25,153 --> 00:09:30,117
- Hey, excuse me?
- Now you don't trust me?
241
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,035
- I know you murdered
my nephew, Rodrigo.
242
00:09:32,119 --> 00:09:35,080
- Bullshit, motherfucker!
I didn't murder Rodrigo.
243
00:09:35,163 --> 00:09:37,499
Look, you got your money.
I got my shipment.
244
00:09:37,582 --> 00:09:39,543
I don't know
where Rodrigo is.
245
00:09:39,626 --> 00:09:41,086
Maybe he's fucking
your mother.
246
00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:42,546
- Oh, training
has already begun.
247
00:09:42,629 --> 00:09:45,257
Okay. Uh...
248
00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:47,551
- You. You. Oh, come on!
Bring it! Bring it!
249
00:09:47,634 --> 00:09:49,594
Come on, bring that bat,
motherfucker!
250
00:09:49,678 --> 00:09:51,722
- Hey!
251
00:09:51,805 --> 00:09:54,391
You wanna
push somebody around?
252
00:09:54,474 --> 00:09:57,436
Try me out.
253
00:09:57,519 --> 00:10:01,064
- Hey, and what are you,
a tough guy?
254
00:10:01,148 --> 00:10:02,858
- Goddamn right,
I'm a tough guy.
255
00:10:02,941 --> 00:10:04,693
North Philadelphia tough.
256
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:06,862
I'm Kevin motherfucking--
257
00:10:06,945 --> 00:10:11,700
[ringing droning]
258
00:10:11,783 --> 00:10:15,871
[inhaling deeply]
Ah!
259
00:10:15,954 --> 00:10:17,331
What the hell happened?
260
00:10:17,414 --> 00:10:19,833
- Welcome to Ron Wilcox
Action Star School.
261
00:10:19,916 --> 00:10:21,251
I'm Ron Wilcox,
262
00:10:21,335 --> 00:10:22,627
and that was
your first lesson.
263
00:10:22,711 --> 00:10:24,129
- Gettin' hit in the head
with a bat?
264
00:10:24,212 --> 00:10:27,257
- Oh, you are naive.
That was a prop bat.
265
00:10:27,341 --> 00:10:29,426
It that was made of plastic.
- Wasn't goddamn plastic.
266
00:10:29,509 --> 00:10:30,594
I've been hit
with a bat before,
267
00:10:30,677 --> 00:10:31,845
I know what a metal bat
fuckin' feel like.
268
00:10:31,928 --> 00:10:33,263
- All right.
269
00:10:33,347 --> 00:10:35,766
Hey, Mr. Van De Velde
told me to tell him
270
00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:38,018
if you complain about
anything being too difficult.
271
00:10:38,101 --> 00:10:39,519
- No.
No, no, no, no, no.
272
00:10:39,603 --> 00:10:40,562
I'm not complaining.
- Mm-hmm.
273
00:10:40,645 --> 00:10:41,521
- I'm not complaining
about nothing.
274
00:10:41,605 --> 00:10:42,856
I loved that.
275
00:10:42,939 --> 00:10:43,774
I thought it was great,
to be honest with you,
276
00:10:43,857 --> 00:10:45,108
it gave me a rush.
277
00:10:45,192 --> 00:10:46,985
- Good.
Let's take the tour.
278
00:10:47,069 --> 00:10:48,904
- Yeah.
- Come on.
279
00:10:48,987 --> 00:10:50,989
This place is to be
a slaughterhouse
280
00:10:51,073 --> 00:10:52,074
up till the '70s.
281
00:10:52,157 --> 00:10:53,784
And then,
as legend has it,
282
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:56,620
the animals revolted
against their tormentors
283
00:10:56,703 --> 00:10:58,038
and they slaughtered
the humans.
284
00:10:58,121 --> 00:10:59,581
- Oh, my God.
285
00:10:59,664 --> 00:11:02,042
- And my pal, Charles Norris,
you know him as Chuck,
286
00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:04,086
well, he needed a place
to train.
287
00:11:04,169 --> 00:11:06,046
I bought it.
I mentored him.
288
00:11:06,129 --> 00:11:08,548
And that's why he's the badass
that he is today.
289
00:11:08,632 --> 00:11:10,592
- Hmm...
290
00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:16,431
- Yeah, he nearly died
within these walls.
291
00:11:16,515 --> 00:11:20,644
And that's how Ron Wilcox
Action Star School got born.
292
00:11:20,727 --> 00:11:23,313
- Ron Wilcox A.S.S.,
for short.
293
00:11:23,397 --> 00:11:24,981
- What the fuck
did you just say to me?
294
00:11:30,028 --> 00:11:32,447
- Did Matt Da--
Matt Damon, go here?
295
00:11:32,531 --> 00:11:36,743
- Oh, Matty boy!
Fuck yeah, Matt Damon!
296
00:11:36,827 --> 00:11:38,745
Before he came to me,
he was a no name actor
297
00:11:38,829 --> 00:11:40,956
from New England.
He was nothing.
298
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:44,334
He was a hundred pounds
soakin' wet.
299
00:11:44,418 --> 00:11:45,752
- You sure we're talking about
the same Matt Damon?
300
00:11:45,836 --> 00:11:47,504
- Hell yeah.
Matt Damon!
301
00:11:47,587 --> 00:11:50,215
[cell phone ringing]
- Huh. Okay. Yeah--
302
00:11:50,298 --> 00:11:53,885
- Un-unh. Rule number one,
no phones 'til you graduate.
303
00:11:53,969 --> 00:11:55,178
- Okay.
I run an empire,
304
00:11:55,262 --> 00:11:56,304
so unfortunately,
I need my--
305
00:11:56,388 --> 00:11:57,597
- Okay, fine,
you know what I'll do?
306
00:11:57,681 --> 00:11:58,723
I'll just call
Mr. Van De Velde,
307
00:11:58,807 --> 00:12:00,684
and I tell him,
"Oh, the phone policy
308
00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:03,728
"wasn't working for him.
It wasn't to his liking."
309
00:12:03,812 --> 00:12:05,730
I know what
you're gonna do with this.
310
00:12:05,814 --> 00:12:07,315
You're going to make calls
to Hollywood.
311
00:12:07,399 --> 00:12:09,067
You're gonna say,
"Hello, Hollywood.
312
00:12:09,151 --> 00:12:10,652
"Ron's school
is too tough for me.
313
00:12:10,735 --> 00:12:12,320
"I need more drugs."
- No.
314
00:12:12,404 --> 00:12:14,364
- Yeah, you're gonna say,
"Oh, I'm Kevin Hart.
315
00:12:14,448 --> 00:12:16,658
"I need more caviar
and champagne."
316
00:12:16,741 --> 00:12:19,161
- I just wanna talk
to my employees.
317
00:12:19,244 --> 00:12:21,371
- That's fine,
but I'm still keeping it.
318
00:12:21,455 --> 00:12:23,206
- Okay.
319
00:12:26,251 --> 00:12:28,295
- Okay, until you graduate,
320
00:12:28,378 --> 00:12:30,714
you are forbidden from
visiting the outside world.
321
00:12:30,797 --> 00:12:33,049
You'll stay here.
- Say what?
322
00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:35,135
- You got your bed,
you got your toilet,
323
00:12:35,218 --> 00:12:38,889
you got your sink.
All the modern amenities.
324
00:12:38,972 --> 00:12:44,936
[water running sputtering,
pipes creaking]
325
00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:46,563
- Okay.
326
00:12:46,646 --> 00:12:49,107
It's supposed
to toughen me up.
327
00:12:49,191 --> 00:12:51,359
Okay, I get it.
328
00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:55,030
Yeah, I'm good with that.
329
00:12:55,113 --> 00:12:57,824
Yeah, might be a little
too good with it.
330
00:12:57,908 --> 00:13:01,870
- And rule number two,
No fucking on the premises.
331
00:13:01,953 --> 00:13:04,498
No anal, no blowjobs,
no nothin'.
332
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:10,253
- Who else is here?
333
00:13:10,337 --> 00:13:12,172
- Just me.
334
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:19,012
Twenty minutes
'til lights out.
335
00:13:24,392 --> 00:13:25,519
- So those--
336
00:13:25,602 --> 00:13:27,145
those two Colombian guys
that hit me in the head
337
00:13:27,229 --> 00:13:29,022
with the prop bat,
they were actors, right?
338
00:13:29,105 --> 00:13:31,525
- Yeah, exactly.
339
00:13:31,608 --> 00:13:34,027
Okay, rule number three,
340
00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:36,905
When you're under this roof,
your name is no longer Kevin,
341
00:13:36,988 --> 00:13:39,366
it's Agent Hart,
and you'll refer to me
342
00:13:39,449 --> 00:13:43,370
as Ron Wilcox, or Ron,
or Wilcox, or Coach Ron.
343
00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:44,496
- I like Coach Ron.
344
00:13:44,579 --> 00:13:46,248
- And I refer to you as...
- Agent Hart.
345
00:13:46,331 --> 00:13:47,290
- Right.
- Right.
346
00:13:47,374 --> 00:13:48,458
- Yes.
- See, I'm on it.
347
00:13:48,542 --> 00:13:50,835
Now I assume you got me in
this FBI jacket
348
00:13:50,919 --> 00:13:52,879
and stuff for a reason.
So, what is it?
349
00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:54,714
- Hey, would you do me
a favor?
350
00:13:54,798 --> 00:13:55,966
- Yeah.
351
00:13:56,049 --> 00:13:58,510
- Kevin, would you
grab that chair for me?
352
00:13:58,593 --> 00:13:59,511
- Yeah.
- Would you?
353
00:13:59,594 --> 00:14:01,429
- You mean this one?
- No, goddammit!
354
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,848
I said respond
only to Agent Hart!
355
00:14:03,932 --> 00:14:08,270
- Fuck!
356
00:14:08,353 --> 00:14:10,438
You just said that.
I fucked up. I'm sorry.
357
00:14:10,522 --> 00:14:11,648
That's not gonna
happen again.
358
00:14:11,731 --> 00:14:13,024
Why don't you just
call me Kevin?
359
00:14:13,108 --> 00:14:14,985
- Okay, in your life,
have you ever heard
360
00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:19,864
an action star leading man
ever called Kevin?
361
00:14:19,948 --> 00:14:21,324
- I mean, Kevin James
in "Mall Cop".
362
00:14:21,408 --> 00:14:23,868
- No, no. Kevin is the name
of a punk bitch.
363
00:14:23,952 --> 00:14:26,705
Ethan Hunt,
that is an action star name.
364
00:14:26,788 --> 00:14:28,707
Tom Cruise was my alumni.
365
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:30,625
For nine years of his life,
366
00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:33,336
he only responded
to Ethan Hunt
367
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:35,839
whether he was
on-camera or off-camera.
368
00:14:35,922 --> 00:14:38,216
Whether he was in the shower,
or on the toilet.
369
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:39,926
Whether he was fucking,
or not fucking.
370
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,261
- Okay, I--
- If he was even--
371
00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:45,140
- I understand, Coach Ron!
- Do you? Do you really?
372
00:14:45,223 --> 00:14:48,476
I hope so, for your sake.
373
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,271
Because your life
depends on it.
374
00:14:51,354 --> 00:14:53,857
Okay, next lesson.
375
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:55,817
Every leading man
needs to know
376
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,611
how to run into
a burning building
377
00:14:57,694 --> 00:14:59,029
and save a stranger.
- Hmm.
378
00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:05,910
- Wow!
379
00:15:05,994 --> 00:15:08,038
Holy shit.
How'd you do that, man?
380
00:15:08,121 --> 00:15:10,707
- And the stranger that
we are going to save today
381
00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:15,420
is our own action star dummy,
little Kevin.
382
00:15:17,047 --> 00:15:19,799
- That's supposed to be me?
- I don't see the resemblance.
383
00:15:19,883 --> 00:15:21,051
- Are you fucking kidding?
384
00:15:21,134 --> 00:15:24,054
- No, w-we've had this dummy
for years, buddy.
385
00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:27,015
- [Kevin] Oh, hell, no.
- Bitch, that's my line.
386
00:15:27,098 --> 00:15:28,683
I've said that line in,
like, twelve movies.
387
00:15:28,767 --> 00:15:30,310
- Agent Hart,
are you a narcissist?
388
00:15:30,393 --> 00:15:31,728
- No.
389
00:15:31,811 --> 00:15:32,979
- Do you think the whole world
is all about you?
390
00:15:33,063 --> 00:15:34,606
- That's not-- I'm not--
- No.
391
00:15:34,689 --> 00:15:36,650
You look at you
and then you look at him.
392
00:15:36,733 --> 00:15:38,610
- That's what--
- Look at you, and look at him.
393
00:15:38,693 --> 00:15:42,072
Do you see any resemblance?
- Kind of sort of, man!
394
00:15:42,155 --> 00:15:45,241
O-Okay, all right.
Okay, maybe I'm crazy.
395
00:15:45,325 --> 00:15:47,243
- [Kevin] Help!
Help me!
396
00:15:47,327 --> 00:15:50,664
Oh, hell no!
Help! Help me!
397
00:15:50,747 --> 00:15:52,290
Oh, hell no!
398
00:15:52,374 --> 00:15:55,001
- Now, safety during stunts
is of the utmost importance.
399
00:15:55,085 --> 00:15:56,628
- Yeah, but I mean,
that's why you got stuntmen,
400
00:15:56,711 --> 00:15:59,756
right?
- Watch it.
401
00:15:59,839 --> 00:16:01,383
- No, for the other guys,
not for me.
402
00:16:01,466 --> 00:16:03,593
T-the lightweights.
I don't--
403
00:16:03,677 --> 00:16:06,554
- Okay, your jacket
is flame retardant,
404
00:16:06,638 --> 00:16:08,556
which means that
if you catch on fire,
405
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,601
don't panic, I will come in
and put you out.
406
00:16:11,685 --> 00:16:14,145
- Okay.
Y-You're gonna--
407
00:16:14,229 --> 00:16:15,855
Okay, I feel-I feel good--
I feel good about that.
408
00:16:15,939 --> 00:16:18,733
- When you're ready,
I want you to storm the house,
409
00:16:18,817 --> 00:16:21,486
find the victim,
and bring him to safety.
410
00:16:21,569 --> 00:16:23,863
[growling]
411
00:16:23,947 --> 00:16:25,782
- What is that?
412
00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:27,409
What are you doing?
I do--
413
00:16:27,492 --> 00:16:30,078
[barking]
- Psyching myself up.
414
00:16:30,161 --> 00:16:33,957
[barking]
415
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,209
[howling]
416
00:16:36,292 --> 00:16:39,003
It's hot!
Hot!
417
00:16:40,171 --> 00:16:43,508
[barking]
418
00:16:43,591 --> 00:16:48,221
[coughing]
419
00:16:51,474 --> 00:16:53,309
It's fucking hot!
420
00:16:53,393 --> 00:16:56,187
Where the fuck are you at?
Oh, God.
421
00:16:56,271 --> 00:16:59,023
Oh, fuck, I can't see shit!
422
00:16:59,107 --> 00:17:01,234
Little Kev?
423
00:17:01,317 --> 00:17:04,154
- Excuse me,
are you Ron Wilcox?
424
00:17:04,237 --> 00:17:06,281
- Oh, hello.
How are you?
425
00:17:06,364 --> 00:17:08,575
- Jordan King.
- We've been waiting for you.
426
00:17:08,658 --> 00:17:10,785
- Help! Help me!
427
00:17:10,869 --> 00:17:12,662
- I've got you, little Kev.
- Oh, hell no!
428
00:17:12,746 --> 00:17:14,789
- I'm about to save
your little beautiful black ass.
429
00:17:14,873 --> 00:17:17,542
- Help! Help me!
430
00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:19,210
Oh, hell no!
431
00:17:19,294 --> 00:17:20,462
- What the fuck?
432
00:17:20,545 --> 00:17:22,338
Who is this?
- Help! Help me!
433
00:17:22,422 --> 00:17:24,966
Oh, hell no!
- What the--
434
00:17:25,049 --> 00:17:28,386
- Help! Help me!
Oh, hell no!
435
00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:30,180
- It's fucking hot!
436
00:17:30,263 --> 00:17:31,473
Get your ass up.
437
00:17:31,556 --> 00:17:33,975
- Yeah, um,
I'm just so nervous.
438
00:17:34,058 --> 00:17:36,352
I've never been in
an action movie before.
439
00:17:36,436 --> 00:17:37,979
I just wanna bring
my A-game here.
440
00:17:38,062 --> 00:17:40,148
- 90% is mental, okay?
- Oh, shit-- Oh, shit!
441
00:17:40,231 --> 00:17:42,817
- You are gonna be fantastic.
[screaming]
442
00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:45,361
I just know it.
- Oh, shit.
443
00:17:45,445 --> 00:17:47,530
Is he okay?
- Oh, God.
444
00:17:47,614 --> 00:17:49,657
You leave this guy alone
for five seconds.
445
00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:50,992
Geez.
- Put me out! Put me out!
446
00:17:51,075 --> 00:17:53,620
Put me out! Put me out!
Put me out!
447
00:17:56,915 --> 00:17:59,000
- Is he okay?
- Oh, he's fine.
448
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:00,668
Gal Gadot was training with me,
449
00:18:00,752 --> 00:18:02,504
she was on fire
for twelve minutes.
450
00:18:02,587 --> 00:18:04,714
She put herself out
with a blanket.
451
00:18:04,798 --> 00:18:07,342
He barely lasted
twelve seconds.
452
00:18:07,425 --> 00:18:09,093
- Is this funny to you?
453
00:18:09,177 --> 00:18:12,222
- Hey, a leading man must learn
not to sweat the small stuff.
454
00:18:12,305 --> 00:18:14,057
- What are you talking about
the small stuff?
455
00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:15,975
I was on fucking fire,
Coach Ron!
456
00:18:16,059 --> 00:18:17,477
- Hey, knock it off!
457
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,854
There's a lady present,
and I want you to meet her.
458
00:18:19,938 --> 00:18:22,106
Agent Hart,
this is Agent Jordan King.
459
00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:23,233
She'll be your bunkmate.
460
00:18:23,316 --> 00:18:24,859
- It is a pleasure
to meet you.
461
00:18:24,943 --> 00:18:26,444
My pleasure.
Okay, you wanna explain to me
462
00:18:26,528 --> 00:18:28,321
why she get
this nice introduction?
463
00:18:28,404 --> 00:18:30,114
Why isn't she getting
hit in the head with a bat?
464
00:18:30,198 --> 00:18:31,866
When are you gonna bop her?
- Excuse me?
465
00:18:31,950 --> 00:18:34,244
- Okay, you know, just...
466
00:18:34,327 --> 00:18:36,621
When he does this kind of thing,
I just zone him out.
467
00:18:36,704 --> 00:18:38,706
When he starts to whine.
Come on, I'll give you a tour.
468
00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:40,917
- Okay.
469
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,627
- Now, this used to be
a slaughterhouse years ago,
470
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:44,087
up until the 70's...
471
00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:48,925
♪♪♪
472
00:18:49,008 --> 00:18:50,844
- ...which brings me
to rule number two.
473
00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:53,763
There'll be no sexual
intercourse on the premises.
474
00:18:53,847 --> 00:18:58,142
- Uh, yeah, um,
that won't be a problem.
475
00:18:58,226 --> 00:19:00,520
[laughter]
476
00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:02,856
- I didn't think it would be.
477
00:19:02,939 --> 00:19:06,651
- I know you have to say it.
I-It's fine, we're good.
478
00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:08,570
- All right.
So, hey, take a beat, okay?
479
00:19:08,653 --> 00:19:10,697
Relax, and we'll see you
out in twenty
480
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:13,074
on the training ground, okay?
481
00:19:13,157 --> 00:19:14,492
- Thanks, Ron.
You're the best.
482
00:19:14,576 --> 00:19:17,620
- Hey, it's a pleasure.
483
00:19:17,704 --> 00:19:21,082
[laughing]
484
00:19:21,165 --> 00:19:23,835
- He's a fucking sociopath.
485
00:19:23,918 --> 00:19:26,546
- How do you mean?
- How do I mean?
486
00:19:26,629 --> 00:19:28,131
Do you really wanna know
how I mean?
487
00:19:28,214 --> 00:19:29,173
Because I was here
a couple days ago
488
00:19:29,257 --> 00:19:30,592
and shit hit the fan.
489
00:19:30,675 --> 00:19:32,010
There was a guy in here
accusing him
490
00:19:32,093 --> 00:19:34,304
of murdering some dude
named Rodrigo.
491
00:19:34,387 --> 00:19:36,139
- Rodrigo?
- Yes, Rodrigo.
492
00:19:36,222 --> 00:19:37,223
Saw a whole thing.
493
00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:38,516
And when I first
walked in this bitch,
494
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,226
they hit me in the head
with a bat.
495
00:19:40,310 --> 00:19:42,812
Not no plastic bat.
With a fucking metal bat!
496
00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:45,481
And today, today he let me
catch myself on fire!
497
00:19:45,565 --> 00:19:48,109
- "Let me catch
myself on fire"?
498
00:19:48,192 --> 00:19:49,360
- I don't know why
you gotta sound it out.
499
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:52,655
Yes. Let me catch--
no, I see why you did that.
500
00:19:52,739 --> 00:19:54,115
Because if you slow it down,
501
00:19:54,198 --> 00:19:55,033
you slow down,
it don't sound right.
502
00:19:55,116 --> 00:19:56,451
But you get what I'm saying.
503
00:19:56,534 --> 00:19:58,828
It happened.
It fucking happened.
504
00:19:58,912 --> 00:20:00,079
Look, I'm sorry, all right?
505
00:20:00,163 --> 00:20:01,706
It's just,
I don't have my phone,
506
00:20:01,789 --> 00:20:03,666
it's weird in here,
507
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:04,876
and stuff is just starting to
fuck with me.
508
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:07,670
Maybe-maybe I'm going
a little stir crazy.
509
00:20:07,754 --> 00:20:10,006
I don't know.
510
00:20:10,089 --> 00:20:14,010
That's shit.
That's shit water.
511
00:20:14,093 --> 00:20:16,137
Yep, God damn.
512
00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:19,891
- Well, you're
not alone anymore, so...
513
00:20:19,974 --> 00:20:25,688
- Yeah, well, maybe, but--
Hey, do I know you?
514
00:20:25,772 --> 00:20:28,983
- Oh.
515
00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:31,945
- I do!
Fuck!
516
00:20:32,028 --> 00:20:34,238
You're the girl from
that sitcom with the robot.
517
00:20:34,322 --> 00:20:35,531
The robot that was
a butler, right?
518
00:20:35,615 --> 00:20:36,658
You used to argue
with the butler,
519
00:20:36,741 --> 00:20:38,701
"Uh-uh,
get the fuck out of here".
520
00:20:38,785 --> 00:20:40,828
You'd do the thing,
"Butler, bitch".
521
00:20:40,912 --> 00:20:42,956
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
522
00:20:43,039 --> 00:20:44,666
- That's me.
- Wow.
523
00:20:44,749 --> 00:20:47,961
- Well, was.
I just quit.
524
00:20:48,044 --> 00:20:50,713
Kathryn Bigelow offered me
the lead in her next movie,
525
00:20:50,797 --> 00:20:53,591
which is huge, since there are,
like, what,
526
00:20:53,675 --> 00:20:56,135
three total action roles
for women?
527
00:20:56,219 --> 00:20:57,804
- Oh, it's a lot
more than that.
528
00:20:57,887 --> 00:21:00,765
But congrats.
529
00:21:00,848 --> 00:21:03,977
Are you-- I mean,
you want me to name 'em?
530
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,062
I can go down the list.
You got Wonder Woman, right?
531
00:21:06,145 --> 00:21:07,605
You know, the Black Widow.
532
00:21:07,689 --> 00:21:12,527
You got, um, what was the one
with the woman with the, uh--
533
00:21:12,610 --> 00:21:16,656
she's, uh-- what's--
that's three.
534
00:21:16,739 --> 00:21:20,994
- Anyway, um, it's all riding on
this action school.
535
00:21:21,077 --> 00:21:23,162
I've just gotta prove to Ron
that I've got the chops,
536
00:21:23,246 --> 00:21:24,414
that I'm fit enough.
537
00:21:24,497 --> 00:21:26,332
- You ain't gotta
prove that to nobody.
538
00:21:26,416 --> 00:21:28,501
You are fit.
539
00:21:28,584 --> 00:21:32,171
When you walked in that door
I said, "God damn."
540
00:21:32,255 --> 00:21:34,132
Not like that.
541
00:21:34,215 --> 00:21:37,051
I'm not saying it like that.
I don't mean it that way.
542
00:21:37,135 --> 00:21:38,469
- I'm just here to train--
- Yeah.
543
00:21:38,553 --> 00:21:41,556
- ...not make friends.
So, just to be clear.
544
00:21:41,639 --> 00:21:43,891
- We're-we're here for
the same thing, right?
545
00:21:43,975 --> 00:21:45,059
Fuck friendship.
- Good.
546
00:21:45,143 --> 00:21:47,937
- Yeah.
547
00:21:48,021 --> 00:21:50,064
- Mind if I use the bathroom?
- Do what you gotta do.
548
00:21:50,148 --> 00:21:51,649
The bathroom right there.
549
00:21:51,733 --> 00:21:55,194
- Yeah, I'm gonna
need you to just...
550
00:21:55,278 --> 00:21:59,198
- Oh. You gotta shit.
551
00:22:01,784 --> 00:22:04,203
- Now in this lesson,
we're going to focus
552
00:22:04,287 --> 00:22:07,832
and explore the action star's
motivations.
553
00:22:07,915 --> 00:22:10,209
Agent King,
what is your motivation?
554
00:22:10,293 --> 00:22:11,961
- After working undercover
in Paris,
555
00:22:12,045 --> 00:22:13,838
I go down to the basement
of the Louvre,
556
00:22:13,921 --> 00:22:16,799
where I thwart the theft of
an ancient Egyptian artifact
557
00:22:16,883 --> 00:22:19,052
when I'm accosted by
a rogue agent.
558
00:22:19,135 --> 00:22:21,512
- Good, Agent Hart.
- Accost?
559
00:22:21,596 --> 00:22:22,597
That's a little strong,
isn't it?
560
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:26,768
- What the fuck?
Focus. Focus.
561
00:22:26,851 --> 00:22:29,562
And...
562
00:22:29,645 --> 00:22:31,481
- Okay, all right.
I-I'm an agent.
563
00:22:31,564 --> 00:22:34,192
- Yes.
- I'm an agent, and, um,
564
00:22:34,275 --> 00:22:37,153
basically, I gotta-I gotta
go get Agent King.
565
00:22:37,236 --> 00:22:40,073
I gotta seduce--
I gotta seduce Agent King
566
00:22:40,156 --> 00:22:41,616
in the basement of the Louvre.
567
00:22:41,699 --> 00:22:43,409
And just a question,
is this, like,
568
00:22:43,493 --> 00:22:46,370
some James Bond fan fiction?
- And, action.
569
00:22:54,587 --> 00:22:57,256
- Agent King?
570
00:22:57,340 --> 00:23:00,468
- Who wants to know?
- Agent Hart.
571
00:23:00,551 --> 00:23:02,887
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
572
00:23:02,970 --> 00:23:04,806
Not so fast.
573
00:23:04,889 --> 00:23:07,350
Look, you're in great danger,
574
00:23:07,433 --> 00:23:10,645
and the only cure for it
is to come with me to my bed.
575
00:23:12,021 --> 00:23:15,983
♪♪♪
576
00:23:16,067 --> 00:23:18,027
- Seduce her,
god damn it!
577
00:23:18,111 --> 00:23:19,362
[screaming]
578
00:23:19,445 --> 00:23:23,241
Seduce her.
Lure her into the car.
579
00:23:30,540 --> 00:23:32,917
- In the car.
580
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,086
In my car.
581
00:23:35,169 --> 00:23:38,172
- Fucking creep.
582
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,806
[groans]
583
00:23:46,889 --> 00:23:48,558
- What the fuck was that?
- Beautiful, beautiful.
584
00:23:48,641 --> 00:23:50,017
Keep going.
Keep going.
585
00:23:50,101 --> 00:23:52,103
- What the fuck you mean,
"Keep going"?
586
00:23:52,186 --> 00:23:53,437
What the fuck, man?
587
00:23:53,521 --> 00:23:54,856
- Do you have a problem,
Agent Hart?
588
00:23:54,939 --> 00:23:55,898
- Yeah, I got a problem,
motherfucker!
589
00:23:55,982 --> 00:23:57,275
- What is it?
590
00:23:57,358 --> 00:23:58,734
- She's Bruce Lee,
and I'm some weird creeper.
591
00:23:58,818 --> 00:24:00,903
- Oh, it's too challenging
for you to seduce her.
592
00:24:00,987 --> 00:24:02,780
Is that it?
- Uh, yes, it is.
593
00:24:02,864 --> 00:24:04,907
When you got me, looking--
594
00:24:08,244 --> 00:24:10,705
I see what you're doing.
595
00:24:10,788 --> 00:24:12,623
You're trying to get me
all riled up.
596
00:24:12,707 --> 00:24:13,666
It's not gonna work.
597
00:24:13,749 --> 00:24:15,376
I'm not falling for
your little trap
598
00:24:15,459 --> 00:24:16,377
and I'm not going
back over here
599
00:24:16,460 --> 00:24:18,296
to fight this
fucking jujitsu master
600
00:24:18,379 --> 00:24:19,589
with sexy talk.
601
00:24:19,672 --> 00:24:21,757
- Oh, you want
a change of motivation?
602
00:24:21,841 --> 00:24:22,884
- Yeah, I do.
- Okay.
603
00:24:22,967 --> 00:24:24,677
This is your new motivation.
604
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,346
She's a Russian mole
pretending to be an FBI agent.
605
00:24:27,430 --> 00:24:31,142
You eliminate her with this.
606
00:24:31,225 --> 00:24:34,478
- It's a prop knife, right?
- Retractable.
607
00:24:34,562 --> 00:24:37,148
Now go in there and
show her who's boss.
608
00:24:37,231 --> 00:24:40,610
- Now we're fucking talking.
609
00:24:40,693 --> 00:24:42,862
You said
she's a Russian mole, right?
610
00:24:42,945 --> 00:24:45,781
Okay, I don't like that.
Down goes the mole, huh?
611
00:24:50,953 --> 00:24:53,122
Shit!
Oh, god damn it.
612
00:24:53,206 --> 00:24:55,708
Hey, I'm about to stab you
in the side, okay?
613
00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:59,629
With--
it's a prop knife.
614
00:24:59,712 --> 00:25:00,880
What the?
615
00:25:00,963 --> 00:25:02,924
Oh, you gotta sell it.
Make it look real.
616
00:25:03,007 --> 00:25:06,135
[shouts]
617
00:25:08,638 --> 00:25:10,932
- Ah, what the fuck?
618
00:25:11,015 --> 00:25:14,018
Ah!
- Real blood.
619
00:25:14,101 --> 00:25:16,520
- Oh, my God.
- What have you done to her?
620
00:25:16,604 --> 00:25:18,981
What have you done to her?
- I'm so sorry.
621
00:25:19,065 --> 00:25:20,900
I thought-I thought you said
it was retractable.
622
00:25:20,983 --> 00:25:22,693
- I said it was practical.
623
00:25:22,777 --> 00:25:24,987
It's a practical knife!
It's a real knife!
624
00:25:25,071 --> 00:25:26,113
- Oh, my God.
- Oh God.
625
00:25:26,197 --> 00:25:27,949
She's passing out now.
- Oh, shit!
626
00:25:28,032 --> 00:25:28,991
- I'm gonna have to
stitch her up.
627
00:25:29,075 --> 00:25:30,326
I've got a medical kit
in my office.
628
00:25:30,409 --> 00:25:31,452
- Fine, I will grab it.
- No!
629
00:25:31,535 --> 00:25:33,621
- Ow, ow, ow.
- Go to your room.
630
00:25:33,704 --> 00:25:34,705
You're grounded!
- No.
631
00:25:34,789 --> 00:25:35,623
What are you talking about?
I'll go grab it.
632
00:25:35,706 --> 00:25:37,833
- No!
633
00:25:37,917 --> 00:25:40,878
My office is off limits
to students.
634
00:25:42,296 --> 00:25:47,093
♪♪♪
635
00:25:47,176 --> 00:25:50,888
I said my office
is off limits.
636
00:25:50,972 --> 00:25:52,682
If you disobey me again,
637
00:25:52,765 --> 00:25:54,809
the next time
I throw that knife
638
00:25:54,892 --> 00:25:56,644
will be through
your fucking skull.
639
00:25:58,813 --> 00:26:04,944
♪♪♪
640
00:26:07,863 --> 00:26:10,241
- Hey.
641
00:26:10,324 --> 00:26:13,035
I brought you some breakfast
as a peace offering.
642
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:14,662
The food here
is a little tricky.
643
00:26:14,745 --> 00:26:16,956
It's just a closet
full of beef jerky.
644
00:26:17,039 --> 00:26:18,541
Apparently,
Macho Man Randy Savage
645
00:26:18,624 --> 00:26:21,669
was an alum here and
he left his entire food supply
646
00:26:21,752 --> 00:26:23,963
to Ron in his will, so...
647
00:26:24,046 --> 00:26:26,882
Snap into a Slim Jim?
648
00:26:26,966 --> 00:26:28,634
- Care to join me
for breakfast?
649
00:26:28,718 --> 00:26:32,596
- Of course.
Jerky for two.
650
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,265
Hmm.
651
00:26:34,348 --> 00:26:38,477
Um, look,
I'm going to apologize.
652
00:26:40,104 --> 00:26:41,689
You know, I didn't mean to...
- Stab me?
653
00:26:41,772 --> 00:26:43,816
- Well, I wasn't
gonna use those words.
654
00:26:43,899 --> 00:26:46,319
Look, Ron--
Ron is crazy.
655
00:26:46,402 --> 00:26:48,696
I'm serious.
He's-he's nuts.
656
00:26:48,779 --> 00:26:50,865
Sick in the head crazy.
657
00:26:50,948 --> 00:26:53,034
And I'm convinced that
that motherfucker
658
00:26:53,117 --> 00:26:54,952
killed a dude named Rodrigo.
659
00:26:55,036 --> 00:26:56,537
And the motherfucker
tried to kill me
660
00:26:56,620 --> 00:26:58,289
just for being
around his office.
661
00:26:58,372 --> 00:27:01,375
And as far as your arm goes,
I know you think I'm lying,
662
00:27:01,459 --> 00:27:03,085
I heard retractable.
663
00:27:03,169 --> 00:27:05,212
- You know, I've dated
guys like you before.
664
00:27:05,296 --> 00:27:07,548
It's always
someone else's fault.
665
00:27:07,631 --> 00:27:09,133
- That's not true.
666
00:27:09,216 --> 00:27:11,344
That's not true at all.
When I'm wrong, I--
667
00:27:11,427 --> 00:27:12,762
I shouldn't say that,
'cause I'm never wrong.
668
00:27:12,845 --> 00:27:14,513
If-- If I'm wrong,
669
00:27:14,597 --> 00:27:16,807
I have no problem admitting
that I'm wrong.
670
00:27:16,891 --> 00:27:20,811
But in this case, I'm not.
He said "retractable."
671
00:27:20,895 --> 00:27:24,231
- Hey, part of me
is glad you stabbed me.
672
00:27:24,315 --> 00:27:26,442
It's a badge of honor.
673
00:27:26,525 --> 00:27:28,903
I heard when Jason Statham
came through here,
674
00:27:28,986 --> 00:27:31,364
he got stabbed
directly in the heart.
675
00:27:31,447 --> 00:27:32,448
- Did he survive that?
676
00:27:32,531 --> 00:27:34,617
- He shot "Transporter"
like a week later.
677
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:37,161
- What the fuck?
In the heart?
678
00:27:37,244 --> 00:27:38,537
They stabbed him in the heart?
- Yup, right through it.
679
00:27:38,621 --> 00:27:40,164
- God damn it.
680
00:27:40,247 --> 00:27:42,500
Maybe I'm just doing
the wrong fucking thing here.
681
00:27:42,583 --> 00:27:47,213
I mean, maybe this just
isn't for me, you know?
682
00:27:47,296 --> 00:27:50,091
- So just leave.
Go home.
683
00:27:50,174 --> 00:27:51,967
I'm sure
there's a real hero somewhere
684
00:27:52,051 --> 00:27:55,137
in need of a goofy sidekick.
- Okay, that backfired.
685
00:27:55,221 --> 00:27:56,722
I thought that you would
go the opposite direction
686
00:27:56,806 --> 00:27:59,100
and tell me that,
no, I should stay.
687
00:27:59,183 --> 00:28:01,227
And that this is for me.
688
00:28:01,310 --> 00:28:03,187
That's what I thought.
689
00:28:03,270 --> 00:28:04,522
- Well what do you
want me to say?
690
00:28:04,605 --> 00:28:06,941
If you need extra motivation
to be the star
691
00:28:07,024 --> 00:28:11,570
of a Claude Van De Velde movie,
you're in the wrong business.
692
00:28:11,654 --> 00:28:14,907
This is probably my only shot
to be a big action star,
693
00:28:14,990 --> 00:28:17,535
so I'm not gonna blow it.
694
00:28:17,618 --> 00:28:20,121
I'll do anything it takes.
695
00:28:22,957 --> 00:28:25,292
- You're right.
696
00:28:25,376 --> 00:28:28,671
You are absolutely right.
697
00:28:28,754 --> 00:28:30,756
I need to stop
all the bitching and moaning.
698
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,925
I need to cowboy the fuck up.
699
00:28:33,008 --> 00:28:36,178
- There you go.
700
00:28:39,723 --> 00:28:41,308
- When I first started
in the business
701
00:28:41,392 --> 00:28:43,018
training action stars,
702
00:28:43,102 --> 00:28:45,521
every stunt scene was practical,
703
00:28:45,604 --> 00:28:48,691
or as Kevin might say,
retractable.
704
00:28:48,774 --> 00:28:50,693
- Oh, that's really good.
That's great.
705
00:28:50,776 --> 00:28:51,652
It's not funny.
706
00:28:51,735 --> 00:28:52,862
- But the industry
has changed.
707
00:28:52,945 --> 00:28:54,405
You can't even be
an action star
708
00:28:54,488 --> 00:28:56,907
without, well,
knowing how to work green.
709
00:28:56,991 --> 00:28:59,577
- I'm very familiar
with a green screen.
710
00:28:59,660 --> 00:29:01,162
I mean, I've done about
15 movies
711
00:29:01,245 --> 00:29:02,705
where we've had a green screen.
712
00:29:02,788 --> 00:29:05,374
- In which of those 15 movies
were you the leading man?
713
00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:07,376
Any idiot can jump
on a green screen
714
00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:10,254
and pretend to be eaten by
a CG dragon.
715
00:29:10,337 --> 00:29:12,173
Hell, even little Kevin
can do that.
716
00:29:12,256 --> 00:29:13,549
- Oh, hell no!
717
00:29:13,632 --> 00:29:16,302
- Okay, who's finding the time
to dress him like me?
718
00:29:16,385 --> 00:29:17,553
It's really--
719
00:29:17,636 --> 00:29:19,472
- Okay, question,
what does a leading woman,
720
00:29:19,555 --> 00:29:22,349
or leading man,
get to do onscreen
721
00:29:22,433 --> 00:29:24,643
that sidekicks don't?
- Win fights.
722
00:29:24,727 --> 00:29:27,855
- Murder bad guys.
- Make love.
723
00:29:27,938 --> 00:29:30,483
Today's lesson
is in love making.
724
00:29:30,566 --> 00:29:33,068
- Yes!
On the green screen.
725
00:29:33,152 --> 00:29:34,695
Are we doing it
on the green screen?
726
00:29:34,778 --> 00:29:36,238
- Bingo.
- Nice.
727
00:29:36,322 --> 00:29:38,991
Adding effects to the bed,
to the walls, cracking 'em.
728
00:29:39,074 --> 00:29:40,367
- Okay, I'm gonna be candid,
729
00:29:40,451 --> 00:29:42,995
I don't want to do
a sex scene with him.
730
00:29:43,078 --> 00:29:44,246
- That's fine,
731
00:29:44,330 --> 00:29:45,164
'cause I don't wanna do
a sex scene with her.
732
00:29:45,289 --> 00:29:47,333
Ugh.
733
00:29:47,416 --> 00:29:51,253
[laughter]
734
00:29:51,337 --> 00:29:52,671
What's so funny?
735
00:29:52,755 --> 00:29:55,257
- Okay, well, look at you,
and then look at her.
736
00:29:55,341 --> 00:29:58,511
And look at you, then her.
Then you, then her.
737
00:29:58,594 --> 00:29:59,762
- Okay, I don't get the joke.
738
00:29:59,845 --> 00:30:01,096
What is it?
What am I missing?
739
00:30:01,180 --> 00:30:02,473
- All right,
let me put it another way.
740
00:30:02,556 --> 00:30:06,101
Uh, look at you,
and then look at her.
741
00:30:06,185 --> 00:30:07,603
Then look at you,
and then her.
742
00:30:07,686 --> 00:30:10,689
- Can we just get this shit
over with, please?
743
00:30:10,773 --> 00:30:13,150
- Okay, let's discuss
motivation.
744
00:30:13,234 --> 00:30:16,570
All right, now, after
almost killing each other,
745
00:30:16,654 --> 00:30:18,614
Agent Hart and Agent King
746
00:30:18,697 --> 00:30:20,658
discover that they're
on the same team.
747
00:30:20,741 --> 00:30:23,702
After defusing a bomb
at the top of a skyscraper
748
00:30:23,786 --> 00:30:26,247
in-in the middle of
an earthquake,
749
00:30:26,330 --> 00:30:28,791
you discover
this overwhelming passion
750
00:30:28,874 --> 00:30:30,834
for each other.
751
00:30:31,669 --> 00:30:32,795
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
752
00:30:32,878 --> 00:30:34,088
We're at the top
of a skyscraper
753
00:30:34,171 --> 00:30:35,005
in the middle
of an earthquake?
754
00:30:35,089 --> 00:30:37,174
- Yes! Yes! Goddamn it!
755
00:30:37,258 --> 00:30:39,385
You are the dumbest actor
that I have ever worked with.
756
00:30:39,468 --> 00:30:41,220
Go! Action!
757
00:30:42,972 --> 00:30:44,723
- Red wire or blue wire?
758
00:30:44,807 --> 00:30:46,058
- It's gotta be the red.
759
00:30:46,141 --> 00:30:47,142
- Are you sure?
760
00:30:47,226 --> 00:30:49,687
Agent Hart, are you sure?
- I don't know.
761
00:30:49,770 --> 00:30:51,730
[beeping]
762
00:30:51,814 --> 00:30:57,903
♪♪♪
763
00:30:57,987 --> 00:30:59,989
[relieved sighs]
764
00:31:00,072 --> 00:31:15,421
♪♪♪
765
00:31:15,504 --> 00:31:17,423
- Earthquake! Earthquake!
766
00:31:17,506 --> 00:31:18,799
The building's falling apart!
767
00:31:18,882 --> 00:31:21,051
- Oh, uh, Okay, um...
- Okay.
768
00:31:21,135 --> 00:31:23,012
- Good-- great.
769
00:31:23,095 --> 00:31:24,555
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
770
00:31:24,638 --> 00:31:27,016
Oh! Shit!
Hold on.
771
00:31:27,099 --> 00:31:28,934
Wait-- Oh.
772
00:31:29,018 --> 00:31:30,394
Where you at?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
773
00:31:30,477 --> 00:31:31,478
- Kevin.
- Hold on, wait!
774
00:31:31,562 --> 00:31:33,063
Give me a second.
Shit!
775
00:31:33,147 --> 00:31:34,398
- Okay.
- Okay.
776
00:31:34,481 --> 00:31:35,983
All right, come on.
It's an earthquake.
777
00:31:36,066 --> 00:31:37,067
It's an earthquake, fuck.
778
00:31:37,151 --> 00:31:38,736
- Yeah.
- Go.
779
00:31:38,819 --> 00:31:41,614
- Agent Hart, I can't believe
we just diffused that bomb.
780
00:31:41,697 --> 00:31:43,907
We just saved thousands
of lives, maybe millions.
781
00:31:43,991 --> 00:31:47,578
- This earthquake's gotta be
about a 7.5 magnitude.
782
00:31:47,661 --> 00:31:51,206
This could be our last time
being together before we die.
783
00:31:51,290 --> 00:31:54,293
- Now kiss her neck softly
and start fucking.
784
00:31:54,376 --> 00:31:56,086
- What? Wait.
785
00:31:56,170 --> 00:31:57,838
Kiss-kiss her neck
and then start fucking?
786
00:31:57,921 --> 00:32:00,299
- Kiss her neck softly
and start fucking!
787
00:32:00,382 --> 00:32:02,760
- Oh, okay.
788
00:32:02,843 --> 00:32:04,136
I'm just gonna do it,
'cause that's what he's--
789
00:32:04,219 --> 00:32:05,471
- Yeah, no, it's fine.
790
00:32:05,554 --> 00:32:07,348
- Yeah, put your--
Give me that.
791
00:32:07,431 --> 00:32:09,558
- [Ron] Be sexy!
Do something!
792
00:32:09,642 --> 00:32:11,060
- Grab my leg.
- Yeah, give me this one.
793
00:32:11,143 --> 00:32:13,020
- Have you never
had sex before?
794
00:32:13,103 --> 00:32:14,355
Do it!
795
00:32:14,438 --> 00:32:15,898
- That's not--
- We need to be upright.
796
00:32:15,981 --> 00:32:16,982
One second, that's it.
- Give me that.
797
00:32:17,066 --> 00:32:18,734
- [Ron] Go! Go!
798
00:32:18,817 --> 00:32:21,862
- Agent Hart, no.
We shouldn't do this.
799
00:32:21,945 --> 00:32:24,865
It's against Bureau
protocol.
800
00:32:24,948 --> 00:32:27,326
- Well, protocol was
meant to be broken.
801
00:32:30,454 --> 00:32:32,873
Ah, whoa!
Ah, help!
802
00:32:32,956 --> 00:32:34,792
Help! Don't drop me!
Don't drop me!
803
00:32:34,875 --> 00:32:36,293
Please don't let go!
Don't let go!
804
00:32:36,377 --> 00:32:37,544
- I won't, I've got you.
805
00:32:37,628 --> 00:32:39,880
- Don't let go!
- I've got you, I promise.
806
00:32:39,963 --> 00:32:41,965
- [Claude] Can you push in
a little closer?
807
00:32:42,049 --> 00:32:43,801
- Help me! Help me!
808
00:32:43,884 --> 00:32:45,302
I'm too young to die.
809
00:32:45,386 --> 00:32:47,388
- Any closer, they'll
see the cameras.
810
00:32:47,471 --> 00:32:49,306
- Okay, good, hold there.
[Kevin screaming]
811
00:32:49,390 --> 00:32:51,100
- I got you.
- Perfect.
812
00:32:51,183 --> 00:32:52,559
- Help!
- Kevin,
813
00:32:52,643 --> 00:32:54,436
you're like one foot
off the ground.
814
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,689
- You cannot teach
acting like that.
815
00:32:56,772 --> 00:32:58,190
- [Jordan King] I'm just gonna
let you down, okay?
816
00:32:58,273 --> 00:32:59,692
- [Kevin] Ah!
817
00:33:01,110 --> 00:33:04,071
[owl hooting]
818
00:33:04,154 --> 00:33:06,365
- Okay, lights out,
twenty minutes.
819
00:33:06,448 --> 00:33:08,367
No funny business.
820
00:33:08,450 --> 00:33:10,244
And no fucking!
821
00:33:10,327 --> 00:33:18,377
♪♪♪
822
00:33:18,460 --> 00:33:19,795
- Now do you believe me?
823
00:33:19,878 --> 00:33:22,256
He's a fucking psychopath.
824
00:33:22,339 --> 00:33:24,550
- Okay, it does seem like
an odd coincidence
825
00:33:24,633 --> 00:33:26,218
your wires just snapped.
826
00:33:26,301 --> 00:33:28,262
- Coincidence?
[indistinct]
827
00:33:28,345 --> 00:33:31,515
Those lines are strong enough
to hold a goddamn elephant.
828
00:33:31,598 --> 00:33:33,726
Where's your phone at?
- He confiscated it.
829
00:33:33,809 --> 00:33:48,073
♪♪♪
830
00:33:49,783 --> 00:33:52,786
- Kevin, he said lights out.
We can't leave.
831
00:33:52,870 --> 00:33:54,371
- He's not
my camp counselor.
832
00:33:54,455 --> 00:33:55,581
You know what I'm gonna do?
833
00:33:55,664 --> 00:33:58,000
I'm about to go, I'm about
to get my phone back,
834
00:33:58,083 --> 00:33:59,376
and I'mma see what other
weird shit he hide
835
00:33:59,460 --> 00:34:02,588
in this office that
he don't want me to see.
836
00:34:02,671 --> 00:34:04,882
- Kevin, don't.
837
00:34:04,965 --> 00:34:19,271
♪♪♪
838
00:34:24,026 --> 00:34:26,069
[knocking]
839
00:34:29,281 --> 00:34:30,616
- Claude.
- Ronny, baby!
840
00:34:30,699 --> 00:34:33,160
[laughter]
- Garçon.
841
00:34:33,243 --> 00:34:36,288
- Have a seat.
- Ah.
842
00:34:36,371 --> 00:34:39,917
Uh, pull up
scene 12, please.
843
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,543
Have a seat.
844
00:34:43,337 --> 00:34:46,006
- This is a bad idea.
- This is a good idea.
845
00:34:46,089 --> 00:34:48,300
Wilcox won't murder me
in front of you.
846
00:34:48,383 --> 00:34:50,260
Come on, there's his office.
Come on.
847
00:34:52,221 --> 00:34:54,431
Shit!
848
00:34:54,515 --> 00:34:56,475
- Do you have a bobby pin?
849
00:34:56,558 --> 00:34:57,768
- Yeah, yeah,
850
00:34:57,851 --> 00:34:59,603
it's in the bun on the back
of my fucking head.
851
00:34:59,686 --> 00:35:01,522
- Okay, don't be an asshole.
852
00:35:01,605 --> 00:35:03,607
I'll find a paperclip.
Excuse me.
853
00:35:05,609 --> 00:35:07,194
- Wait, you know how
to pick a lock?
854
00:35:07,277 --> 00:35:09,488
- South side of Chicago,
born and raised.
855
00:35:09,571 --> 00:35:10,697
- It's not North Philadelphia,
856
00:35:10,781 --> 00:35:12,908
but I'm not gonna
hold it against you.
857
00:35:12,991 --> 00:35:14,952
- Got it.
- Hey.
858
00:35:17,663 --> 00:35:20,707
[coughing]
859
00:35:20,791 --> 00:35:24,503
Oh, God!
Oh, fuck, I can't see shit.
860
00:35:24,586 --> 00:35:26,380
[coughing]
Where you at?
861
00:35:26,463 --> 00:35:28,215
- [Kevin] Help! Help me!
862
00:35:28,298 --> 00:35:30,384
- I've got you, little Kev.
- Oh, hell no!
863
00:35:30,467 --> 00:35:32,386
[screaming]
Help!
864
00:35:32,469 --> 00:35:34,513
- It's fucking hot!
865
00:35:34,596 --> 00:35:37,558
- Oh, whoa.
866
00:35:37,641 --> 00:35:40,769
- You damn right.
It is authentic.
867
00:35:40,853 --> 00:35:42,145
- He doesn't even know
he's being filmed.
868
00:35:42,229 --> 00:35:43,647
- Exactly.
869
00:35:43,730 --> 00:35:47,067
I've been chasing for
this cinema verite style
870
00:35:47,150 --> 00:35:50,821
of realistic hard action
filmmaking for years.
871
00:35:50,904 --> 00:35:53,657
It is my white whale,
my unicorn.
872
00:35:53,740 --> 00:35:56,326
All I needed was an actor
who was fragile,
873
00:35:56,410 --> 00:35:59,746
vulnerable, afraid
of being forgotten.
874
00:36:02,249 --> 00:36:04,751
Afraid of being forgotten.
875
00:36:04,835 --> 00:36:08,255
Thank you, Kevin.
You're a gift.
876
00:36:08,338 --> 00:36:10,632
Thank you, thank you.
877
00:36:17,014 --> 00:36:19,349
- Any questions, uh,
for tomorrow's scenes?
878
00:36:19,433 --> 00:36:21,476
- Oh, no.
879
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:25,272
[speaking French]
880
00:36:25,355 --> 00:36:27,190
I should get back
to the set.
881
00:36:27,274 --> 00:36:28,942
Bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.
882
00:36:29,026 --> 00:36:30,569
[speaking French]
- Merci.
883
00:36:33,947 --> 00:36:35,532
Again.
884
00:36:38,744 --> 00:36:41,622
- Hey, can I--
can I ask you a question?
885
00:36:41,705 --> 00:36:44,041
- Yeah.
- So you...
886
00:36:44,124 --> 00:36:46,043
you remember earlier today
when we were shooting
887
00:36:46,126 --> 00:36:47,669
the scene on green screen,
888
00:36:47,753 --> 00:36:51,089
like-like right before
the wire snapped,
889
00:36:51,173 --> 00:36:52,591
you kind of seemed
like you was--
890
00:36:52,674 --> 00:36:54,760
like you were really
into it.
891
00:36:54,843 --> 00:36:56,845
- It's called acting.
892
00:36:58,055 --> 00:37:00,223
- You acted like you
wanted to kiss me.
893
00:37:00,307 --> 00:37:02,225
- Yes.
894
00:37:02,309 --> 00:37:04,811
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
895
00:37:04,895 --> 00:37:06,396
Yeah.
896
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:14,571
♪♪♪
897
00:37:14,655 --> 00:37:18,158
- Come on, let's go.
898
00:37:18,241 --> 00:37:21,411
- The fuck.
Stealing my shit.
899
00:37:21,495 --> 00:37:23,288
Hollywood bitch.
900
00:37:23,372 --> 00:37:38,679
♪♪♪
901
00:37:38,762 --> 00:37:40,222
- You got anything?
902
00:37:40,305 --> 00:37:42,015
- Nope, you?
903
00:37:42,099 --> 00:37:44,726
- Got a drawer
full of old head shots.
904
00:37:46,019 --> 00:37:47,562
- Oh.
905
00:37:47,646 --> 00:37:48,981
- "Coach Ron, you are
the bright light
906
00:37:49,064 --> 00:37:50,857
"in the darkest parts
of my soul."
907
00:37:50,941 --> 00:37:53,193
What the fuck
does that mean?
908
00:37:53,276 --> 00:37:54,277
- We should get
out of here soon.
909
00:37:54,361 --> 00:37:55,612
- No, we shouldn't.
910
00:37:55,696 --> 00:37:56,738
I know there's
some stuff in here
911
00:37:56,822 --> 00:37:57,739
that he don't
want us to see.
912
00:37:57,823 --> 00:38:00,158
you just gotta
look for it.
913
00:38:00,242 --> 00:38:01,159
He probably got
one of them, like,
914
00:38:01,243 --> 00:38:03,912
secret compartments
somewhere.
915
00:38:03,996 --> 00:38:05,580
Got it!
[latch clicking]
916
00:38:05,664 --> 00:38:07,249
Oh, bingo.
917
00:38:07,332 --> 00:38:09,376
- Holy shit.
918
00:38:13,380 --> 00:38:15,590
- Here, I got another lock
for you to pick.
919
00:38:15,674 --> 00:38:16,967
- What do you think's in there?
- Don't know.
920
00:38:17,050 --> 00:38:18,802
Some shit he don't want
nobody to find.
921
00:38:20,470 --> 00:38:21,972
[distant door opening]
- Shit!
922
00:38:22,055 --> 00:38:32,107
♪♪♪
923
00:38:32,190 --> 00:38:33,859
- Get your ass.
924
00:38:33,942 --> 00:38:43,910
♪♪♪
925
00:38:47,622 --> 00:38:58,216
♪♪♪
926
00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:02,095
- Oh, isn't
this interesting?
927
00:39:02,179 --> 00:39:05,807
Well, I know that you're both
pretending to be asleep,
928
00:39:05,891 --> 00:39:07,476
and that's fine.
929
00:39:07,559 --> 00:39:09,853
It's probably the best acting
that either of you
930
00:39:09,936 --> 00:39:12,022
will ever do
in your entire lives.
931
00:39:12,105 --> 00:39:14,816
Especially you, Agent Hart.
932
00:39:14,900 --> 00:39:17,652
But if I find out
that either of you
933
00:39:17,736 --> 00:39:20,280
left this bunk
without my permission,
934
00:39:20,363 --> 00:39:21,865
you'll regret the day
you ever stepped
935
00:39:21,948 --> 00:39:24,409
into Ron Wilcox
Action Star School.
936
00:39:33,835 --> 00:39:36,505
If you weren't fake sleeping,
you would have woken up.
937
00:39:36,588 --> 00:39:42,928
♪♪♪
938
00:39:48,475 --> 00:39:59,111
♪♪♪
939
00:39:59,194 --> 00:40:01,071
- Holy shit,
that was too close.
940
00:40:01,154 --> 00:40:02,823
- You're telling me.
941
00:40:02,906 --> 00:40:12,749
♪♪♪
942
00:40:16,169 --> 00:40:19,214
[grunting]
943
00:40:23,051 --> 00:40:24,678
- Kevin, come on,
open it later.
944
00:40:24,761 --> 00:40:26,221
We're supposed to be
at the sound stage.
945
00:40:26,304 --> 00:40:27,889
- I'm almost there.
Wait a second.
946
00:40:31,768 --> 00:40:33,562
Shit.
947
00:40:33,645 --> 00:40:35,355
I got it!
I got it. I got it.
948
00:40:37,649 --> 00:40:39,234
It's a necklace.
949
00:40:39,317 --> 00:40:40,986
It's got RBG.
950
00:40:41,069 --> 00:40:44,197
Oh, "R" is for Rodrigo,
that guy that he murdered.
951
00:40:44,281 --> 00:40:45,991
- Jesus, Kevin,
give it a rest.
952
00:40:46,074 --> 00:40:47,450
You gotta sneak that shit
back into his office
953
00:40:47,534 --> 00:40:49,161
before he figures out
you stole it.
954
00:40:49,244 --> 00:40:50,996
- [Ron] Rise and shine,
let's go.
955
00:40:51,079 --> 00:40:53,331
Come on, let's go!
- Shit.
956
00:40:53,415 --> 00:40:55,167
Put this on your side.
957
00:40:55,250 --> 00:41:02,841
♪♪♪
958
00:41:04,718 --> 00:41:06,428
- All right, class.
959
00:41:06,511 --> 00:41:09,014
It's a fun day today.
It's a big day.
960
00:41:09,097 --> 00:41:11,975
Behind that door, I got
a very big surprise for you.
961
00:41:12,058 --> 00:41:13,518
- We'd see daylight
for the first time?
962
00:41:13,602 --> 00:41:15,478
- Nope.
Any other guesses?
963
00:41:15,562 --> 00:41:16,771
- You gonna open the door up
and a panther
964
00:41:16,855 --> 00:41:18,064
gonna come through
and maul us to death?
965
00:41:18,148 --> 00:41:19,691
- Getting warmer.
You're getting warmer.
966
00:41:19,774 --> 00:41:21,026
- Why am I getting warmer?
967
00:41:21,109 --> 00:41:22,986
- Ooh, a source of protein
other than beef jerky?
968
00:41:23,069 --> 00:41:24,529
That would be great.
- Watch this.
969
00:41:24,613 --> 00:41:26,239
- Unbelievable. Please.
- Some fruit? A smoothie?
970
00:41:28,158 --> 00:41:30,452
- Josh Hartnett!
- Hey, hey, hey, buddy!
971
00:41:30,535 --> 00:41:31,661
Ooh, ooh look out,
look out!
972
00:41:31,745 --> 00:41:33,121
Ooh.
973
00:41:33,205 --> 00:41:35,540
[laughter]
- Get off me.
974
00:41:35,624 --> 00:41:37,459
- My favorite alumni.
975
00:41:37,542 --> 00:41:40,337
Class third week, April 1999.
- Oh, come on, that's--
976
00:41:40,420 --> 00:41:42,422
- Come on!
- Oh my God.
977
00:41:42,505 --> 00:41:44,966
Is it possible that
you're too beautiful?
978
00:41:45,050 --> 00:41:46,509
[giggling]
979
00:41:46,593 --> 00:41:48,470
- Um, yeah. You kiss--
980
00:41:48,553 --> 00:41:51,097
it kissed my, um--
you smile a lot.
981
00:41:51,181 --> 00:41:52,641
- What the fuck
did you just say?
982
00:41:52,724 --> 00:41:53,725
- I--
- Kev,
983
00:41:53,808 --> 00:41:54,809
I'm so glad
you're here, man.
984
00:41:54,893 --> 00:41:56,394
This is gonna change
your life.
985
00:41:56,478 --> 00:41:57,812
I mean, when Ron finished
with me,
986
00:41:57,896 --> 00:41:59,356
I shot "Pearl Harbor",
"Black Hawk Down",
987
00:41:59,439 --> 00:42:00,690
"Hollywood Homicide".
988
00:42:00,774 --> 00:42:02,317
- You should have probably
left the last one out.
989
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,610
- When I first came here,
I was nothing.
990
00:42:03,693 --> 00:42:05,570
I was, like, 100 pounds
soaking wet.
991
00:42:05,654 --> 00:42:08,240
By the time I was out of here,
I felt invincible.
992
00:42:08,323 --> 00:42:10,992
I felt like Academy Award
winner Matt Damon or some shit.
993
00:42:11,076 --> 00:42:12,744
[laughter]
- You're too much.
994
00:42:12,827 --> 00:42:13,954
He's too much.
995
00:42:14,037 --> 00:42:16,414
Why don't you guys catch up,
and, Agent King?
996
00:42:16,498 --> 00:42:18,333
- Yes?
- Let's talk motivation.
997
00:42:18,416 --> 00:42:20,752
- Bye.
- Nice to meet you.
998
00:42:22,545 --> 00:42:25,382
Kev, how's it
going so far, man?
999
00:42:25,465 --> 00:42:27,133
- It is not going good.
1000
00:42:27,217 --> 00:42:29,344
This place is like a prison.
Do you hear me?
1001
00:42:29,427 --> 00:42:31,304
And I think Coach Ron
is trying to kill me.
1002
00:42:31,388 --> 00:42:33,390
- Well, that's just his way.
Look at him, he's a teddy bear.
1003
00:42:33,473 --> 00:42:34,975
- He ain't no teddy bear!
1004
00:42:35,058 --> 00:42:36,810
He's the complete opposite
of a teddy bear.
1005
00:42:36,893 --> 00:42:38,436
And I believe he
murdered somebody.
1006
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,605
I think he murdered
a Colombian drug lord.
1007
00:42:40,689 --> 00:42:42,065
I think he did it.
1008
00:42:42,148 --> 00:42:43,608
I got a guy named
Rodrigo was here,
1009
00:42:43,692 --> 00:42:45,694
and I think he murdered--
- Oh God, you crack me up, Kev.
1010
00:42:48,488 --> 00:42:50,573
Oh, you're serious?
- Yes, I'm serious.
1011
00:42:50,657 --> 00:42:52,117
I went snooping around
in his office,
1012
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,202
and I think I found
a keepsake from the murder.
1013
00:42:54,286 --> 00:42:56,037
It was a necklace,
it's got "RBG".
1014
00:42:56,121 --> 00:42:58,248
- Ron murdered someone
and kept a necklace?
1015
00:42:58,331 --> 00:43:00,125
Like Dexter?
1016
00:43:00,208 --> 00:43:01,710
- Josh, listen to me.
- Yes?
1017
00:43:01,793 --> 00:43:03,628
- We need to call the cops.
- Okay.
1018
00:43:03,712 --> 00:43:05,255
- We need the people from
out there to come in here.
1019
00:43:05,338 --> 00:43:06,339
- Okay.
- I'm taking about the Feds,
1020
00:43:06,423 --> 00:43:08,508
the DA--
- What are you whispering about?
1021
00:43:08,591 --> 00:43:09,926
- Nothing.
We're talking about workouts.
1022
00:43:10,010 --> 00:43:11,344
We're talking
my workout, his workout.
1023
00:43:11,428 --> 00:43:12,804
It's nothing much.
1024
00:43:12,887 --> 00:43:14,431
- How's my goddaughter?
1025
00:43:14,514 --> 00:43:16,349
- Oh, man, she is
growing like a weed.
1026
00:43:16,433 --> 00:43:17,600
- Oh, yeah?
Let me see that.
1027
00:43:17,684 --> 00:43:18,810
- Goddaughter?
- Let me see that.
1028
00:43:18,893 --> 00:43:20,687
Whoa-ho! Oh!
- Look at her.
1029
00:43:20,770 --> 00:43:22,063
She misses her
Uncle Ronnie, though.
1030
00:43:22,147 --> 00:43:24,107
- Well, you tell her
that her Uncle Ronnie
1031
00:43:24,190 --> 00:43:25,608
misses that little
pumpkinhead, too.
1032
00:43:25,692 --> 00:43:28,278
[cries]
- Hey.
1033
00:43:28,361 --> 00:43:31,114
Hey, why the sad face?
Are you okay?
1034
00:43:31,197 --> 00:43:32,407
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
1035
00:43:32,490 --> 00:43:34,326
[sighs]
1036
00:43:34,409 --> 00:43:36,703
I can't find
my special necklace.
1037
00:43:36,786 --> 00:43:39,164
The one that I had
custom made with RBG.
1038
00:43:39,247 --> 00:43:40,999
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
1039
00:43:41,082 --> 00:43:42,334
- That's okay, it's okay.
1040
00:43:42,417 --> 00:43:43,626
- Yeah, she's my favorite
Supreme Court justice.
1041
00:43:43,710 --> 00:43:46,421
I mean, I love
her dissenting opinions.
1042
00:43:46,504 --> 00:43:48,256
Let me tell you something,
if I find out
1043
00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:50,508
that someone stole it,
I'll kill 'em.
1044
00:43:50,592 --> 00:43:52,218
I'll kill 'em!
- Hey!
1045
00:43:52,302 --> 00:43:54,471
You have to think
positive thoughts.
1046
00:43:54,554 --> 00:43:57,724
We're gonna find it.
It's gonna turn up soon.
1047
00:43:57,807 --> 00:44:00,643
I promise you,
it's gonna turn up soon.
1048
00:44:02,896 --> 00:44:05,482
- Today we're doing
firearms stunts.
1049
00:44:05,565 --> 00:44:07,817
We've got Officer Hartnett,
who is a corrupt cop
1050
00:44:07,901 --> 00:44:09,319
who's gone rogue,
1051
00:44:09,402 --> 00:44:12,155
we've got Agent King
and Agent Hart.
1052
00:44:12,238 --> 00:44:14,866
You finally found him
in this chop shop,
1053
00:44:14,949 --> 00:44:16,910
and this is where the shootout
will take place.
1054
00:44:16,993 --> 00:44:18,578
Now, here is your gun.
1055
00:44:18,661 --> 00:44:19,746
- Nice.
1056
00:44:19,829 --> 00:44:22,165
- Don't you ever accept
a gun like that.
1057
00:44:22,248 --> 00:44:23,375
It's always from the back.
1058
00:44:23,458 --> 00:44:24,751
- You passed it
to me frontwards.
1059
00:44:24,834 --> 00:44:26,920
- That was a test.
You failed.
1060
00:44:27,003 --> 00:44:30,131
Now, these firearms
are loaded, okay?
1061
00:44:30,215 --> 00:44:33,843
So please, be careful
how you handle them.
1062
00:44:33,927 --> 00:44:35,053
- Well, we don't have
to be that careful
1063
00:44:35,136 --> 00:44:36,888
'cause there's-there's
blanks in them, right?
1064
00:44:36,971 --> 00:44:38,098
Not loaded, loaded.
Just--
1065
00:44:38,181 --> 00:44:40,016
They're blanks, correct?
1066
00:44:41,559 --> 00:44:44,062
No, Coach Ron, that's
not gonna do it for me.
1067
00:44:44,145 --> 00:44:47,023
I need a verbal confirmation
that it's blanks in this gun.
1068
00:44:47,107 --> 00:44:48,316
- What do you think?
- Yes or no?
1069
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,651
Are there blanks
in this gun?
1070
00:44:49,734 --> 00:44:51,903
- Come on, Kevin.
Get your head in the game, man.
1071
00:44:51,986 --> 00:44:53,738
- Josh, my head's in the game.
I'm just trying to be safe.
1072
00:44:53,822 --> 00:44:56,533
And he still didn't
say yes or no.
1073
00:44:56,616 --> 00:44:58,076
- Yes.
1074
00:44:58,159 --> 00:45:00,662
- Yes, you heard him.
- Okay, everyone in wardrobe.
1075
00:45:00,745 --> 00:45:02,080
I'll see you in ten,
right back here,
1076
00:45:02,163 --> 00:45:03,289
we start the shootout.
1077
00:45:03,373 --> 00:45:04,958
Let's go, let's go,
let's go.
1078
00:45:08,670 --> 00:45:10,672
- Hey, what are you doing?
Get into costume.
1079
00:45:10,755 --> 00:45:12,215
- No, not me.
I'm not doing it.
1080
00:45:12,298 --> 00:45:13,508
- Kevin, you're
being paranoid.
1081
00:45:13,591 --> 00:45:15,051
We all heard him say
there were blanks.
1082
00:45:15,135 --> 00:45:17,595
- My gun has blanks,
I guarantee you that.
1083
00:45:17,679 --> 00:45:20,515
But I bet you Josh, he's got
a fully loaded fuckin' pistol.
1084
00:45:20,598 --> 00:45:22,267
Now, Ron already tried
to kill me once.
1085
00:45:22,350 --> 00:45:24,477
Right now, he's probably willing
to go all the fuckin' way.
1086
00:45:24,561 --> 00:45:25,728
I'm not doing it.
1087
00:45:25,812 --> 00:45:27,439
Trying to make it look like
a goddamn accident.
1088
00:45:27,522 --> 00:45:28,898
That's exactly
what it'll do.
1089
00:45:28,982 --> 00:45:33,111
Kevin Hart accidentally killed
in Ron Wilcox's Action School.
1090
00:45:33,194 --> 00:45:34,988
No, thank you.
1091
00:45:35,071 --> 00:45:36,739
- First of all,
Josh would never do that.
1092
00:45:36,823 --> 00:45:39,033
He is sweet and sensitive.
1093
00:45:39,117 --> 00:45:42,245
And he's tender, probably.
1094
00:45:42,328 --> 00:45:44,164
- Okay, what the fuck
is over there, huh?
1095
00:45:44,247 --> 00:45:45,790
I bet he's none
of those things.
1096
00:45:45,874 --> 00:45:48,001
He and Ron,
they're like this.
1097
00:45:48,084 --> 00:45:50,712
Fucking godfather to his kids.
He didn't say shit about that.
1098
00:45:50,795 --> 00:45:52,046
And they know
I got the necklace!
1099
00:45:52,130 --> 00:45:53,173
- So put it back.
1100
00:45:53,256 --> 00:45:54,716
- I can't put it back
'cause too late.
1101
00:45:54,799 --> 00:45:56,259
They know I got
the goddamn necklace.
1102
00:45:56,342 --> 00:45:58,136
You know what? It's not
safe for me here.
1103
00:45:58,219 --> 00:45:59,596
I gotta go.
- Oh,
1104
00:45:59,679 --> 00:46:00,763
so you're just gonna give up
on your lifelong dream
1105
00:46:00,847 --> 00:46:03,183
because you're afraid
of getting shot?
1106
00:46:03,266 --> 00:46:05,477
- Fuck that dream!
1107
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:07,937
And look, I'm leavin'.
1108
00:46:08,021 --> 00:46:11,316
You got a choice.
1109
00:46:11,399 --> 00:46:13,526
Come with me.
1110
00:46:13,610 --> 00:46:15,195
- Uh...
1111
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:19,991
I can't.
1112
00:46:20,074 --> 00:46:21,993
I'm sorry.
1113
00:46:22,076 --> 00:46:23,912
This is my shot.
1114
00:46:23,995 --> 00:46:26,372
- I understand.
1115
00:46:26,456 --> 00:46:28,291
It is your shot
and you deserve it.
1116
00:46:33,838 --> 00:46:36,174
- Okay.
1117
00:46:36,257 --> 00:46:37,759
Nice.
1118
00:46:39,844 --> 00:46:41,012
[door shutting]
1119
00:46:41,095 --> 00:46:45,892
♪♪♪
1120
00:46:45,975 --> 00:46:47,018
[indistinct chatter]
1121
00:46:47,101 --> 00:46:48,019
- One, two, three.
1122
00:46:49,187 --> 00:46:50,897
[laughing]
1123
00:46:50,980 --> 00:46:52,106
- Yes!
1124
00:46:52,190 --> 00:47:01,074
♪♪♪
1125
00:47:01,157 --> 00:47:03,535
- Ugh. That dick.
1126
00:47:06,412 --> 00:47:09,999
The fuck is my car?
1127
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,128
You gotta be kidding me.
1128
00:47:14,212 --> 00:47:16,005
[clicking key fob]
1129
00:47:18,508 --> 00:47:21,553
Oh, motherfucker!
1130
00:47:21,636 --> 00:47:24,347
[car beeping]
1131
00:47:37,860 --> 00:47:41,739
He killed my car.
He killed my fucking car.
1132
00:47:41,823 --> 00:47:43,825
- [Ron Wilcox] Kevin!
1133
00:47:43,908 --> 00:47:46,244
Kevin!
1134
00:47:46,327 --> 00:47:48,663
Where are you?
1135
00:47:48,746 --> 00:47:51,874
Come out, come out
wherever you are!
1136
00:47:51,958 --> 00:47:53,585
- Shit.
1137
00:47:53,668 --> 00:48:08,766
♪♪♪
1138
00:48:08,850 --> 00:48:10,810
[sighing]
1139
00:48:16,816 --> 00:48:19,986
Goddamn it.
1140
00:48:20,069 --> 00:48:22,030
Motherfuckin' squirrels.
1141
00:48:22,113 --> 00:48:24,240
Shit! Get your ass
outta here.
1142
00:48:24,324 --> 00:48:25,450
Shoo!
1143
00:48:25,533 --> 00:48:27,577
Go squirrel!
1144
00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:28,953
[mimicking squirrel noises]
1145
00:48:29,037 --> 00:48:30,788
[squirrel growling]
Motherfucker.
1146
00:48:30,872 --> 00:48:32,582
Better get your ass back.
1147
00:48:32,665 --> 00:48:34,292
You hear me?
1148
00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:35,960
I ain't scared of you.
1149
00:48:36,044 --> 00:48:38,254
You better keep it over there
before you get hurt.
1150
00:48:38,338 --> 00:48:39,464
Bring it over here,
you get what you want.
1151
00:48:39,547 --> 00:48:41,382
Shit. Shit!
Oh...
1152
00:48:41,466 --> 00:48:42,675
[squirrel squeaking]
I see you.
1153
00:48:42,759 --> 00:48:44,969
I ain't takin'
my eye off you.
1154
00:48:45,053 --> 00:48:47,388
I got ya locked in.
1155
00:48:47,472 --> 00:48:49,766
Stay back!
1156
00:48:49,849 --> 00:48:51,309
[squirrel squeaking]
1157
00:48:51,392 --> 00:48:53,353
Stupid woods.
1158
00:48:58,691 --> 00:49:00,068
Oh.
1159
00:49:00,151 --> 00:49:01,611
Thank god.
1160
00:49:01,694 --> 00:49:03,112
Excuse me.
1161
00:49:03,196 --> 00:49:05,198
Excuse me, sir?
1162
00:49:05,281 --> 00:49:06,991
How ya doin', man?
1163
00:49:09,952 --> 00:49:12,705
- You know you're trespassin'.
- Yes.
1164
00:49:12,789 --> 00:49:14,415
I mean, no. No.
I didn't.
1165
00:49:14,499 --> 00:49:15,708
I do now. But I--
1166
00:49:15,792 --> 00:49:19,170
- Sign posted
right over there.
1167
00:49:19,253 --> 00:49:21,631
Only got two words on it.
1168
00:49:21,714 --> 00:49:25,551
No and trespassin'.
1169
00:49:25,635 --> 00:49:27,303
- Yep.
1170
00:49:27,387 --> 00:49:29,639
I see it now.
1171
00:49:29,722 --> 00:49:32,600
I see it now. I didn't see that
when I-- when I came in.
1172
00:49:32,684 --> 00:49:34,894
The way I came in,
my back was to that.
1173
00:49:34,977 --> 00:49:35,895
So, I never caught that.
1174
00:49:35,978 --> 00:49:40,024
- You're a city boy, ain't ya?
1175
00:49:40,108 --> 00:49:43,277
- Well, uh, I refer to myself
as a city man,
1176
00:49:43,361 --> 00:49:45,780
not a boy.
You can say boy, man,
1177
00:49:45,863 --> 00:49:46,906
whatever you--
what do you prefer?
1178
00:49:46,989 --> 00:49:49,784
- Woods ain't safe
for a city boy...
1179
00:49:52,245 --> 00:49:55,331
much less a city man.
1180
00:49:57,792 --> 00:49:59,127
- Okay.
1181
00:49:59,210 --> 00:50:01,421
I'm gonna address the
elephant in the woods.
1182
00:50:01,504 --> 00:50:03,756
This whole "Deliverance" thing
that we got goin' on right now--
1183
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,092
which is great, okay?
'Cause it's workin'.
1184
00:50:06,175 --> 00:50:07,343
So, when things are workin',
you give 'em the accolades
1185
00:50:07,427 --> 00:50:08,302
that they deserve.
1186
00:50:08,386 --> 00:50:10,763
I'm-I'm uncomfortable, sir.
1187
00:50:10,847 --> 00:50:12,807
I'm actually scared,
all right?
1188
00:50:12,890 --> 00:50:15,184
So, now that we know that,
let me help this mood
1189
00:50:15,268 --> 00:50:16,310
by just telling you
why I'm here.
1190
00:50:16,394 --> 00:50:18,396
I'm tryin' to use a phone.
You got a phone?
1191
00:50:18,479 --> 00:50:21,566
I wanna use it real quick,
and I'm outta here.
1192
00:50:25,403 --> 00:50:26,654
- Two minutes.
1193
00:50:26,738 --> 00:50:28,114
- No! I'm not out
of my mind.
1194
00:50:28,197 --> 00:50:30,366
As a matter of fact,
I'm very much in my mind.
1195
00:50:30,450 --> 00:50:32,577
The dude's tryin' to kill me.
- [Danny] That's unfortunate.
1196
00:50:32,660 --> 00:50:34,495
- What do you mean?
Unfortunate?
1197
00:50:34,579 --> 00:50:37,248
Listen to me, Danny.
He's trying to kill me.
1198
00:50:37,331 --> 00:50:38,458
- No, totally.
[text message alert]
1199
00:50:38,541 --> 00:50:40,668
Kev, listen.
I've got huge news.
1200
00:50:40,752 --> 00:50:41,919
All right? Ready?
1201
00:50:42,003 --> 00:50:43,838
"Pound Pups 4."
1202
00:50:43,921 --> 00:50:48,468
"Pound Pups 4."
They want you to voice Reggie,
1203
00:50:48,551 --> 00:50:51,137
a quick-witted,
short-tempered goldendoodle
1204
00:50:51,220 --> 00:50:52,805
who craves mischief.
1205
00:50:52,889 --> 00:50:54,098
- Did they ask
for me directly?
1206
00:50:54,182 --> 00:50:55,391
- Yeah. Now, listen.
1207
00:50:55,475 --> 00:50:57,727
The money's not what
you're used to making,
1208
00:50:57,810 --> 00:50:59,645
but this could be the role
that gets you back
1209
00:50:59,729 --> 00:51:03,191
in the good graces
with the comedy gods.
1210
00:51:04,358 --> 00:51:07,403
- Hey, I-- Uh...
1211
00:51:07,487 --> 00:51:10,490
Hey! I-- Hi.
1212
00:51:10,573 --> 00:51:12,700
Hey, I'm Reggie
the goldendoodle
1213
00:51:12,784 --> 00:51:14,827
and I'm ready to
create some mischief!
1214
00:51:14,911 --> 00:51:16,704
- See? You're a genius!
1215
00:51:16,788 --> 00:51:18,664
It's amazing.
I'm in the movie right now.
1216
00:51:18,748 --> 00:51:19,916
I'm watchin' the movie!
1217
00:51:19,999 --> 00:51:21,334
[chuckling]
1218
00:51:21,417 --> 00:51:24,504
Now, normally, we'd,
you know, counter.
1219
00:51:24,587 --> 00:51:26,589
Negotiate a better deal,
blah, blah, blah.
1220
00:51:26,672 --> 00:51:28,382
I think we should
close this one.
1221
00:51:28,466 --> 00:51:29,967
Huh? What do you think?
[sighing]
1222
00:51:30,051 --> 00:51:31,719
No, no, no.
Don't sigh.
1223
00:51:31,803 --> 00:51:33,513
Be happy.
This is good, Kev.
1224
00:51:40,186 --> 00:51:42,897
Oh, goddamn it.
Are you crying?
1225
00:51:42,980 --> 00:51:46,359
- How did we get here,
Danny? Hmm?
1226
00:51:46,442 --> 00:51:48,319
[sniffles]
How did we get here?
1227
00:51:48,402 --> 00:51:49,779
Just tell me
how we got here.
1228
00:51:49,862 --> 00:51:52,156
- Look. Stop beatin'
yourself up.
1229
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:54,534
Huh? You made a mistake.
1230
00:51:54,617 --> 00:51:55,910
You tried to be
somethin' you're not.
1231
00:51:55,993 --> 00:51:57,286
You're not an action hero.
1232
00:51:57,370 --> 00:51:59,455
You know that now.
1233
00:51:59,539 --> 00:52:00,832
So, is that a yes
on "Pound Pups 4?"
1234
00:52:00,915 --> 00:52:02,208
[crashing]
- I...
1235
00:52:02,291 --> 00:52:04,585
- [Waylon] Help! Help me!
1236
00:52:04,669 --> 00:52:06,796
I'm stuck!
- [Danny] Kevin?
1237
00:52:06,879 --> 00:52:09,632
Kevin, I need
a verbal yes on this.
1238
00:52:09,715 --> 00:52:12,051
Kevin, don't let
this go away, buddy.
1239
00:52:12,134 --> 00:52:14,220
- [Waylon] Help me!
- [Danny] Kev, goldendoodles.
1240
00:52:14,303 --> 00:52:15,680
You love dogs, Kevin.
1241
00:52:15,763 --> 00:52:16,889
- [Waylon] Help!
1242
00:52:16,973 --> 00:52:18,975
- [Danny] Kevin.
- [Waylon] Help me!
1243
00:52:19,058 --> 00:52:20,726
[coughing]
Help!
1244
00:52:20,810 --> 00:52:22,395
- Hey, you okay?
- No!
1245
00:52:22,478 --> 00:52:25,189
- Fuck.
- Damn truck broke.
1246
00:52:25,273 --> 00:52:27,567
- Ugh. Shit!
1247
00:52:27,650 --> 00:52:29,360
- It's on my chest.
1248
00:52:29,443 --> 00:52:31,070
I can't breathe.
1249
00:52:31,153 --> 00:52:32,697
- I'm gonna call
somebody right now, man.
1250
00:52:32,780 --> 00:52:35,658
Okay? I'm gonna
call someone.
1251
00:52:35,741 --> 00:52:37,243
Hey.
1252
00:52:37,326 --> 00:52:38,661
Hey!
1253
00:52:38,744 --> 00:52:42,373
Oh, sh--
1254
00:52:42,456 --> 00:52:44,125
Okay. Come on.
1255
00:52:44,208 --> 00:52:45,918
You gotta lift this truck.
1256
00:52:46,002 --> 00:52:48,504
You gotta lift this truck!
1257
00:52:48,588 --> 00:52:50,339
Lift the fuckin' truck.
1258
00:52:50,423 --> 00:52:52,300
Come on, Kevin.
1259
00:52:52,383 --> 00:52:53,259
Ready.
1260
00:52:53,342 --> 00:52:55,803
Three, two, one.
1261
00:52:55,887 --> 00:52:58,431
[yelling]
1262
00:52:58,514 --> 00:53:02,602
I'm doing it!
I'm doin' it!
1263
00:53:02,685 --> 00:53:04,061
[yelling]
1264
00:53:04,145 --> 00:53:06,856
[coughing]
1265
00:53:09,442 --> 00:53:11,569
Oh.
1266
00:53:11,652 --> 00:53:12,737
You okay?
1267
00:53:12,820 --> 00:53:15,031
Breathe, man.
1268
00:53:15,114 --> 00:53:16,574
Slow down.
1269
00:53:16,657 --> 00:53:19,118
Take your time.
All right.
1270
00:53:19,201 --> 00:53:20,494
Nice and slow.
Get your breath back.
1271
00:53:20,578 --> 00:53:22,622
- Oh, my god.
You just saved my life.
1272
00:53:22,705 --> 00:53:25,333
- No.
- Oh, oh, yeah.
1273
00:53:25,416 --> 00:53:27,335
You're like
a real-life Rambo.
1274
00:53:32,506 --> 00:53:34,133
- I guess I kinda am.
1275
00:53:34,216 --> 00:53:35,134
- Oh...
1276
00:53:37,678 --> 00:53:40,348
How can I ever
repay you, sir?
1277
00:53:40,431 --> 00:53:43,142
- Sir? No, man.
1278
00:53:43,225 --> 00:53:44,936
Wait, you don't
know who I am?
1279
00:53:45,019 --> 00:53:47,772
You don't recognize me from
movies, TV, stand-up comedy?
1280
00:53:47,855 --> 00:53:50,149
- Uh, no?
1281
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,948
- The name is Hart.
1282
00:53:57,031 --> 00:53:58,741
Agent Hart.
1283
00:54:03,621 --> 00:54:04,830
Hey, you wouldn't happen
to know of a shortcut back
1284
00:54:04,914 --> 00:54:07,166
to Ron Wilcox's Action School,
would you?
1285
00:54:07,249 --> 00:54:08,376
- Wilcox Property.
- Yeah.
1286
00:54:08,459 --> 00:54:10,044
- Uh, yes, Agent.
1287
00:54:10,127 --> 00:54:13,422
Uh, you can follow that path,
it'll take you right to it.
1288
00:54:13,506 --> 00:54:14,882
- Okay.
1289
00:54:14,966 --> 00:54:16,008
I think I'mma go
and get on that trail
1290
00:54:16,092 --> 00:54:17,510
before the sun goes down.
1291
00:54:17,593 --> 00:54:20,513
- Uh, that--
you ain't walkin'.
1292
00:54:22,431 --> 00:54:28,104
♪♪♪
1293
00:54:28,187 --> 00:54:29,647
- Oh, yeah.
1294
00:54:29,730 --> 00:54:31,148
[motor revving]
1295
00:54:31,232 --> 00:54:37,363
♪♪♪
1296
00:54:40,408 --> 00:54:41,951
How was that?
- [Claude van de Velde]
Phenomenal.
1297
00:54:42,034 --> 00:54:43,452
We got it.
1298
00:54:43,536 --> 00:54:45,913
- All right, that's a wrap
on the creepy trailer!
1299
00:54:45,997 --> 00:54:47,498
[applause]
Well done, everyone.
1300
00:54:50,042 --> 00:55:05,766
♪♪♪
1301
00:55:05,850 --> 00:55:08,436
- [Jordan] Stop!
Goddamn it, stop!
1302
00:55:08,519 --> 00:55:10,021
- Motherfuckers.
1303
00:55:13,482 --> 00:55:16,485
Chitty chitty
bang bang, bitch.
1304
00:55:16,569 --> 00:55:18,988
[gunshots]
No!
1305
00:55:19,071 --> 00:55:21,240
No!
1306
00:55:21,323 --> 00:55:23,993
Fuck!
1307
00:55:24,076 --> 00:55:25,661
[laughing]
1308
00:55:25,745 --> 00:55:28,706
- Holy shit, Jordan.
You weren't joking.
1309
00:55:28,789 --> 00:55:30,249
He actually thinks we're using
real bullets today.
1310
00:55:30,332 --> 00:55:32,376
Kev.
1311
00:55:32,460 --> 00:55:34,420
- You told him?
- I'm sorry, it was funny.
1312
00:55:34,503 --> 00:55:36,005
- It's not fucking funny!
1313
00:55:36,088 --> 00:55:38,090
'Cause that man back there
is a lunatic.
1314
00:55:38,174 --> 00:55:40,176
You're a fucking lunatic,
Coach Ron.
1315
00:55:40,259 --> 00:55:42,595
- Hey! You know what?
1316
00:55:42,678 --> 00:55:44,764
Maybe I am a lunatic.
1317
00:55:44,847 --> 00:55:46,932
Maybe I oughta
just kill ya!
1318
00:55:47,016 --> 00:55:49,143
- Hey, no, Ron.
Hold up.
1319
00:55:49,226 --> 00:55:50,561
Let me kill him.
1320
00:55:50,644 --> 00:55:52,521
- Stop it.
- No. Me! Me! Me!
1321
00:55:52,605 --> 00:55:53,481
[gunshots]
1322
00:55:53,564 --> 00:55:55,608
- Stop it. Stop!
1323
00:55:55,691 --> 00:55:56,901
You know what, assholes?
1324
00:55:56,984 --> 00:55:58,611
Y'all wanna fuckin' play,
then play. Go ahead.
1325
00:55:58,694 --> 00:55:59,653
Unload 'em all.
1326
00:55:59,737 --> 00:56:01,238
- All right.
Now we're havin' fun.
1327
00:56:01,322 --> 00:56:04,241
[gunshots]
- After you.
1328
00:56:08,287 --> 00:56:10,706
- Shit!
1329
00:56:10,790 --> 00:56:12,374
- Holy shit.
1330
00:56:12,458 --> 00:56:14,627
Maybe there was
a bullet in there.
1331
00:56:14,710 --> 00:56:17,171
- You're bad, man!
[laughing]
1332
00:56:17,254 --> 00:56:18,672
[indistinct chatter]
- Motherfucker!
1333
00:56:18,756 --> 00:56:20,132
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, my god.
1334
00:56:20,216 --> 00:56:22,343
- Josh, stop, man.
This is bullshit!
1335
00:56:22,426 --> 00:56:23,719
You're tryin' to
fuckin' kill me!
1336
00:56:23,803 --> 00:56:26,722
- What's your problem?
I already apologized to you.
1337
00:56:26,806 --> 00:56:28,974
- When? When did you apologize?
- I thought I did.
1338
00:56:29,058 --> 00:56:31,143
- What, you thought
you apologized?
1339
00:56:31,227 --> 00:56:33,896
- You know what, maybe I would
apologize to you
1340
00:56:33,979 --> 00:56:35,731
if you gave me back
my necklace.
1341
00:56:35,815 --> 00:56:38,734
- There it is. There it is.
1342
00:56:38,818 --> 00:56:40,528
You know I took the necklace
so you tried to fucking kill me.
1343
00:56:40,611 --> 00:56:41,904
- Hey, hey.
- Just admit it, man!
1344
00:56:41,987 --> 00:56:43,155
- Kev, Kev, Kev, Kev.
Just chill out.
1345
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:44,156
We're all just
goofin' around.
1346
00:56:44,240 --> 00:56:45,157
We're just having
a little fun, okay?
1347
00:56:45,241 --> 00:56:46,659
Nobody got hurt.
Nobody got hurt!
1348
00:56:46,742 --> 00:56:48,494
- Oh, it was a goof.
- Yeah, just a goof.
1349
00:56:48,577 --> 00:56:50,079
- Well, now that I know that,
I guess I feel better.
1350
00:56:50,162 --> 00:56:51,288
- All right.
1351
00:56:51,372 --> 00:56:52,456
- Did you know it was
a goof, Jordan?
1352
00:56:52,540 --> 00:56:54,208
- You know what,
I don't know. Okay?
1353
00:56:54,291 --> 00:56:55,543
It was-- I don't--
I don't know.
1354
00:56:55,626 --> 00:56:56,919
- You don't know.
- I'm staying out of it.
1355
00:56:57,002 --> 00:56:57,962
- Now, you're staying out of it.
- Yeah.
1356
00:56:58,045 --> 00:56:58,963
- You know what? Okay.
Everybody's tempers
1357
00:56:59,046 --> 00:56:59,755
are a little hot
right now.
1358
00:56:59,839 --> 00:57:01,006
Maybe we could all
just take a break.
1359
00:57:01,090 --> 00:57:02,174
Maybe take five.
- Let's take a break.
1360
00:57:02,258 --> 00:57:03,217
- We drink some water.
We have some beef jerky.
1361
00:57:03,300 --> 00:57:04,468
- All right. Okay.
- We just--
1362
00:57:04,552 --> 00:57:06,011
We reconvene in a bit, okay?
- I'm cool. I'm cool.
1363
00:57:06,095 --> 00:57:07,513
- You're cool?
- I'm cool. Give-- Come on.
1364
00:57:07,596 --> 00:57:08,430
- Give him a hug.
- Give me a hug, man.
1365
00:57:08,514 --> 00:57:09,932
Give me a hug.
- I don't-- No.
1366
00:57:10,015 --> 00:57:12,268
- Come on. I love you, man.
- That's beautiful, right?
1367
00:57:12,351 --> 00:57:14,103
- How do you love me? How?
1368
00:57:14,186 --> 00:57:16,063
- How? How does
anybody love anybody?
1369
00:57:17,273 --> 00:57:19,608
- What?
- That's profound.
1370
00:57:19,692 --> 00:57:22,194
- It's a good question.
1371
00:57:22,278 --> 00:57:23,696
- We're gonna
miss you, big guy.
1372
00:57:23,779 --> 00:57:25,447
- I'll miss you too, baby.
- That was a hoot!
1373
00:57:25,531 --> 00:57:29,702
- Now he's lettin' us see
daytime as if we're free.
1374
00:57:29,785 --> 00:57:32,329
- I never said you
weren't allowed to leave.
1375
00:57:32,413 --> 00:57:34,707
You got a little bit
of imagination there, buddy.
1376
00:57:34,790 --> 00:57:36,500
- Well, I remember
my car used to be here
1377
00:57:36,584 --> 00:57:39,587
and now my car is
at the bottom of a ravine.
1378
00:57:39,670 --> 00:57:41,088
Guess I'm imaginin'
that, too?
1379
00:57:41,172 --> 00:57:43,340
- Yeah, well, you know,
this is meth country.
1380
00:57:43,424 --> 00:57:46,844
Probably a couple of tweakers
goin' for a joyride.
1381
00:57:46,927 --> 00:57:47,970
They'll be back.
- Ah...
1382
00:57:48,053 --> 00:57:49,805
Tweakers love to drive,
I keep forgettin.
1383
00:57:49,889 --> 00:57:50,764
- I thought we were
gonna be cool, baby.
1384
00:57:50,848 --> 00:57:52,266
- Yeah.
- I am cool. Cool.
1385
00:57:52,349 --> 00:57:53,475
[chuckling]
1386
00:57:53,559 --> 00:57:54,852
- Hey, look.
1387
00:57:54,935 --> 00:57:56,604
I know this has
been tough on you.
1388
00:57:56,687 --> 00:57:58,689
You only got
a couple days left.
1389
00:57:58,772 --> 00:58:01,734
My advice, take as much wisdom
as you can from this guy.
1390
00:58:01,817 --> 00:58:03,319
And just have some fun.
- Yeah. Thank you.
1391
00:58:03,402 --> 00:58:05,696
Appreciate you, Josh.
1392
00:58:05,779 --> 00:58:07,656
- See ya, Kev.
1393
00:58:07,740 --> 00:58:10,326
- I love you, man.
- I love you too, man.
1394
00:58:10,409 --> 00:58:11,744
- Jordan.
1395
00:58:14,914 --> 00:58:16,040
- The fuck was that?
1396
00:58:16,123 --> 00:58:17,708
[car starts]
1397
00:58:17,791 --> 00:58:22,254
[music playing in car]
1398
00:58:25,007 --> 00:58:27,676
- Agent Hart.
I wanna tell ya somethin'.
1399
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,511
- I don't really feel like
dealin' with it, Coach Ron.
1400
00:58:29,595 --> 00:58:31,639
- But look.
1401
00:58:31,722 --> 00:58:34,058
I'm sorry about
that live bullet, man.
1402
00:58:34,141 --> 00:58:35,768
I really am.
1403
00:58:35,851 --> 00:58:38,395
- It's all I wanted, man.
1404
00:58:38,479 --> 00:58:40,064
All I wanted
was an apology.
1405
00:58:40,147 --> 00:58:42,066
- I know.
1406
00:58:42,149 --> 00:58:45,611
You sayin' that to me makes
the world of difference.
1407
00:58:45,694 --> 00:58:48,280
I'm sorry that
I accused you of--
1408
00:58:48,364 --> 00:58:51,533
of tryin' to kill me
and other people.
1409
00:58:51,617 --> 00:58:54,119
Now, give me a hug, man.
Thank you.
1410
00:58:54,203 --> 00:58:56,121
Thank you.
- Uh, guys?
1411
00:58:56,205 --> 00:58:58,457
- Yeah.
- Who is that?
1412
00:59:04,630 --> 00:59:07,049
[car honking]
1413
00:59:13,931 --> 00:59:15,933
- Holy shit.
- Oh shit!
1414
00:59:16,016 --> 00:59:17,351
[tires squealing]
1415
00:59:19,645 --> 00:59:22,815
[explosion]
- Oh, shit!
1416
00:59:22,898 --> 00:59:24,108
- Get inside!
- What the fuck was that?
1417
00:59:24,191 --> 00:59:26,110
- Come on!
- Fuck this shit!
1418
00:59:26,193 --> 00:59:28,153
- Goddamn it!
- Oh, shit!
1419
00:59:29,655 --> 00:59:33,200
- It's a bomb!
1420
00:59:36,245 --> 00:59:38,330
- What the hell is happening?
1421
00:59:38,414 --> 00:59:40,124
- Hey, Ron, I-I don't
know this scene.
1422
00:59:40,207 --> 00:59:41,125
Where is it
in the script?
1423
00:59:41,208 --> 00:59:43,419
- It is not in
the fucking script!
1424
00:59:43,502 --> 00:59:44,795
- No, no, no.
Tell me you're kidding.
1425
00:59:44,878 --> 00:59:46,422
Tell me that
was just a stunt.
1426
00:59:46,505 --> 00:59:48,048
That we did not just watch
Josh Hartnett explode!
1427
00:59:48,132 --> 00:59:51,302
- It is not a stunt!
It is not in the script!
1428
00:59:51,385 --> 00:59:53,554
Josh Hartnett is dead!
1429
00:59:53,637 --> 00:59:57,141
Oh, god, I've fucked up.
I've fucked up!
1430
00:59:57,224 --> 00:59:58,517
- What the fuck is goin' on?
1431
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:00,227
- I can't.
- What the fuck is goin' on?
1432
01:00:00,311 --> 01:00:01,270
[speaking with British accent]
- O-okay, Kevin.
1433
01:00:01,353 --> 01:00:02,980
Don't-Don't be mad.
Don't be mad.
1434
01:00:03,063 --> 01:00:05,065
But this whole thing,
1435
01:00:05,149 --> 01:00:06,942
aside from what just
happened to Josh Hartnett,
1436
01:00:07,026 --> 01:00:08,610
has-has been scripted.
1437
01:00:08,694 --> 01:00:09,653
- What the fuck
is that accent?
1438
01:00:09,737 --> 01:00:11,113
- I was acting,
I'm sorry!
1439
01:00:11,196 --> 01:00:13,324
I'm not from Chicago,
I'm from Essex!
1440
01:00:13,407 --> 01:00:15,909
Claude Van De Velde wanted you
at your most authentic,
1441
01:00:15,993 --> 01:00:18,537
so he hid a bunch
of cameras in here
1442
01:00:18,620 --> 01:00:20,622
to film us playing roles,
doing the stunts,
1443
01:00:20,706 --> 01:00:21,957
all of it.
1444
01:00:22,041 --> 01:00:23,500
But whatever just happened
wasn't part of it.
1445
01:00:23,584 --> 01:00:25,794
Which is fucking insane, Ron!
For fuck's sake!
1446
01:00:25,878 --> 01:00:27,254
- For fuck's sake?
1447
01:00:27,338 --> 01:00:28,464
That's what you
wanna say to me?
1448
01:00:28,547 --> 01:00:30,132
For fuck's sake?
1449
01:00:34,303 --> 01:00:38,724
[speaking foreign language]
1450
01:00:38,807 --> 01:00:41,143
- Talk in your regular voice.
- All right.
1451
01:00:41,226 --> 01:00:43,645
No, I've lost it now.
I'm in my head!
1452
01:00:43,729 --> 01:00:46,398
- Who does that?
Who does this to somebody?
1453
01:00:46,482 --> 01:00:49,276
[grunts]
[gunfire]
1454
01:00:58,452 --> 01:01:00,788
Oh, shit. You okay?
1455
01:01:00,871 --> 01:01:04,625
- Oh, god.
I'm such a fucking idiot!
1456
01:01:04,708 --> 01:01:07,503
What was I thinking?
- What the hell was that, man?
1457
01:01:07,586 --> 01:01:08,921
- You want to know
what the hell is going on?
1458
01:01:09,004 --> 01:01:10,047
- You're goddamn right
I wanna know what's going on.
1459
01:01:10,130 --> 01:01:11,590
- I bought some drugs.
1460
01:01:11,673 --> 01:01:14,385
I sold them to the wrong people.
- What?
1461
01:01:14,468 --> 01:01:17,096
- And Rodrigo got mad at me
and we got into a fight.
1462
01:01:17,179 --> 01:01:19,306
And then, I accidentally
killed him.
1463
01:01:19,390 --> 01:01:20,933
- You did kill Rodrigo.
- Yes.
1464
01:01:21,016 --> 01:01:22,309
- I told you
he fuckin' killed him.
1465
01:01:22,393 --> 01:01:24,770
- And that necklace.
That necklace was his necklace.
1466
01:01:24,853 --> 01:01:26,688
I'm a horrible person.
1467
01:01:26,772 --> 01:01:28,857
I'm going straight
to hell.
1468
01:01:28,941 --> 01:01:30,651
- You're goddamn right
you're going to hell.
1469
01:01:30,734 --> 01:01:32,069
What are you doing?
- Claude!
1470
01:01:32,152 --> 01:01:34,029
- What are you doin', Ron?
- Claude!
1471
01:01:34,113 --> 01:01:37,074
Claude, if you're watchin',
you call the cops right now.
1472
01:01:37,157 --> 01:01:38,909
You call the fuckin cops.
1473
01:01:38,992 --> 01:01:41,370
- Senor Wilcox!
1474
01:01:41,453 --> 01:01:43,038
- Oh, shit.
1475
01:01:43,122 --> 01:01:44,790
- My nephew Rodrigo's body
washed up
1476
01:01:44,873 --> 01:01:47,292
4 miles due south
of here!
1477
01:01:47,376 --> 01:01:50,129
A coincidence, no?
1478
01:01:50,212 --> 01:01:52,172
I'm gonna give you
2 minutes.
1479
01:01:52,256 --> 01:01:55,217
Exactly dos minutos
to bring your ass out here
1480
01:01:55,300 --> 01:01:56,593
and face me like a man!
1481
01:01:56,677 --> 01:01:59,179
If not, I'm gonna set fire
to the building
1482
01:01:59,263 --> 01:02:00,681
and burn you
like a chicharone.
1483
01:02:00,764 --> 01:02:03,350
[whimpering]
1484
01:02:03,434 --> 01:02:06,311
- Snap out of it!
- I can't! It's over!
1485
01:02:06,395 --> 01:02:07,980
- Listen to me,
motherfucker.
1486
01:02:08,063 --> 01:02:10,649
This is why men shouldn't be
left in charge of anything!
1487
01:02:10,732 --> 01:02:13,402
My career is just now
becoming the thing
1488
01:02:13,485 --> 01:02:16,447
that I have worked
my entire life towards!
1489
01:02:16,530 --> 01:02:18,907
And I'm not dying because
of you, you fucking idiot.
1490
01:02:18,991 --> 01:02:21,076
- We're all gonna die!
1491
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:23,745
[scream]
1492
01:02:23,829 --> 01:02:26,039
- Oh, shit.
- What the fuck, man?
1493
01:02:26,123 --> 01:02:28,125
- Everybody gotta
calm the fuck down!
1494
01:02:28,208 --> 01:02:30,335
- They're all blanks.
1495
01:02:30,419 --> 01:02:32,337
- Hey. Hey. Hey.
- Don't hit me.
1496
01:02:32,421 --> 01:02:34,548
- I'm not gonna hit you.
Look.
1497
01:02:34,631 --> 01:02:37,468
When I first walked through
that door, you told me.
1498
01:02:37,551 --> 01:02:38,760
You said, "Kevin--"
1499
01:02:38,844 --> 01:02:40,971
You said an action hero
is not in here.
1500
01:02:41,054 --> 01:02:43,474
You said it's not in here.
- Uh-huh.
1501
01:02:43,557 --> 01:02:45,184
- You said that it's here.
1502
01:02:45,267 --> 01:02:47,060
It's in your heart, man.
1503
01:02:47,144 --> 01:02:49,605
You know, clearly,
you done made some mistakes.
1504
01:02:49,688 --> 01:02:51,523
And one of those mistakes
involved murderin'
1505
01:02:51,607 --> 01:02:53,275
the nephew of some kind
of drug lord.
1506
01:02:53,358 --> 01:02:55,152
[wailing]
- Oh, god.
1507
01:02:55,235 --> 01:02:56,820
I killed him!
1508
01:02:56,904 --> 01:02:58,989
- I'm not tryin' to
fuckin' upset you, man.
1509
01:02:59,072 --> 01:03:01,200
Listen.
I know that you know.
1510
01:03:01,283 --> 01:03:04,495
I know that you know that
there's an action hero in there.
1511
01:03:04,578 --> 01:03:07,623
And I know that a true
action hero is-is-is tough.
1512
01:03:07,706 --> 01:03:08,874
Is confident.
1513
01:03:08,957 --> 01:03:11,168
And they're unfazed
by the minor details
1514
01:03:11,251 --> 01:03:13,420
that disrupt
your average lay person.
1515
01:03:13,504 --> 01:03:16,840
They will take responsibility
for their shit.
1516
01:03:16,924 --> 01:03:19,218
You go out there
and you tell the truth, man.
1517
01:03:19,301 --> 01:03:21,261
Tell the fucking truth.
1518
01:03:21,345 --> 01:03:23,972
Say Rodrigo's death--
say it was an accident.
1519
01:03:24,056 --> 01:03:26,225
Say it was a fucking accident.
And give 'em--
1520
01:03:26,308 --> 01:03:28,185
Give 'em this.
Here.
1521
01:03:28,268 --> 01:03:29,436
You give 'em this,
1522
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:31,146
say you wanna make
things right.
1523
01:03:31,230 --> 01:03:32,272
- I wanna make it right.
- That's all you gotta do!
1524
01:03:32,356 --> 01:03:33,941
Say I wanna make it right.
I'm sorry.
1525
01:03:34,024 --> 01:03:35,442
I fucked up.
- I fucked up.
1526
01:03:35,526 --> 01:03:37,486
- I wanna tell the truth.
- I wanna tell the truth.
1527
01:03:37,569 --> 01:03:39,363
- That's it!
- I don't wanna make a mistake.
1528
01:03:39,446 --> 01:03:40,489
- Okay, listen.
1529
01:03:40,572 --> 01:03:43,116
All you gotta do
is be the action hero
1530
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:46,662
that you wanna see
in the world.
1531
01:03:46,745 --> 01:03:48,956
- Thank you.
1532
01:03:49,039 --> 01:03:50,874
Thank you.
1533
01:03:50,958 --> 01:03:52,459
- Tell the truth, man.
1534
01:03:58,173 --> 01:03:59,591
- That was amazing.
1535
01:04:05,264 --> 01:04:06,598
- Amigos!
1536
01:04:06,682 --> 01:04:07,724
Amigos.
1537
01:04:07,808 --> 01:04:09,226
Peace. Peace.
1538
01:04:09,309 --> 01:04:10,727
- Paz.
1539
01:04:10,811 --> 01:04:12,062
- Paz. Paz.
1540
01:04:12,145 --> 01:04:13,063
- Paz. Paz. Paz. Uh...
1541
01:04:13,146 --> 01:04:15,691
- Shit, it's
actually working.
1542
01:04:15,774 --> 01:04:18,110
Kevin, did you just
save our lives?
1543
01:04:18,193 --> 01:04:20,445
- No. I just know
that being the hero
1544
01:04:20,529 --> 01:04:22,990
means ownin' up
to your mistakes.
1545
01:04:23,073 --> 01:04:26,034
I had to learn
the same thing in my life.
1546
01:04:26,118 --> 01:04:28,996
Just glad that Ron can
learn the same thing too.
1547
01:04:31,081 --> 01:04:33,250
[gunshots]
1548
01:04:33,333 --> 01:04:35,085
- Shit!
1549
01:04:35,168 --> 01:04:36,587
What the fuck!
1550
01:04:53,478 --> 01:04:55,022
Is he dead?
1551
01:04:55,105 --> 01:04:57,149
- I mean, he took a lot
of bullets. I think so.
1552
01:04:57,232 --> 01:04:58,442
- We gotta check.
1553
01:04:58,525 --> 01:04:59,610
We gotta check to see
if he's still alive.
1554
01:05:02,029 --> 01:05:03,447
[gunshots]
1555
01:05:03,530 --> 01:05:04,364
He's dead.
- Yeah.
1556
01:05:04,448 --> 01:05:05,324
- He's dead.
- Yeah.
1557
01:05:05,407 --> 01:05:08,076
- He's fuckin' dead.
- Okay. Okay.
1558
01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:10,704
Maybe if we just stay quiet,
they'll leave.
1559
01:05:10,787 --> 01:05:12,748
- I like that plan.
Yeah. Yeah.
1560
01:05:12,831 --> 01:05:13,957
- Juan. Ortiz.
Go inside.
1561
01:05:14,041 --> 01:05:15,500
If there's any witnesses,
kill them.
1562
01:05:15,584 --> 01:05:16,752
- Hide!
[overlapping chatter]
1563
01:05:16,835 --> 01:05:17,878
Go!
1564
01:05:17,961 --> 01:05:19,296
- Fuck.
1565
01:05:19,379 --> 01:05:20,714
- Close it, close it,
close it.
1566
01:05:20,797 --> 01:05:21,798
Hold it. Hold it.
1567
01:05:27,929 --> 01:05:29,681
Hey, do we got any more
real bullets?
1568
01:05:29,765 --> 01:05:31,141
[banging]
- I checked already,
1569
01:05:31,224 --> 01:05:32,392
they're blanks.
1570
01:05:32,476 --> 01:05:33,435
- What do you mean
they're fucking blanks?
1571
01:05:33,518 --> 01:05:35,520
Is everything in here
a fuckin' prop?
1572
01:05:35,604 --> 01:05:36,813
[banging]
What about the knife?
1573
01:05:36,897 --> 01:05:37,981
The knife
I stabbed you with?
1574
01:05:38,065 --> 01:05:39,858
- It was retractable.
Fake blood.
1575
01:05:39,941 --> 01:05:43,445
- Shit! Are you
fucking kidding me?
1576
01:05:43,528 --> 01:05:45,280
Shit! Go.
Go, go, go!
1577
01:05:58,293 --> 01:05:59,503
- Kevin?
1578
01:05:59,586 --> 01:06:01,004
- Yeah.
1579
01:06:01,088 --> 01:06:02,839
- Um, if anything happens
1580
01:06:02,923 --> 01:06:04,758
and we don't
get out of here alive,
1581
01:06:04,841 --> 01:06:08,136
I just want you to know--
- Stop.
1582
01:06:08,220 --> 01:06:10,931
I love you too.
1583
01:06:11,014 --> 01:06:13,517
- Uh...
- Shit. You were gonna
1584
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,686
say somethin' else,
weren't you?
1585
01:06:15,769 --> 01:06:17,020
You were gonna say it
was nice knowin' me?
1586
01:06:17,104 --> 01:06:18,689
- Yeah.
- Fuck me.
1587
01:06:18,772 --> 01:06:21,149
We're about to die.
You could've at least lied.
1588
01:06:21,233 --> 01:06:22,776
I mean, you've been lying
this entire week,
1589
01:06:22,859 --> 01:06:24,111
wouldn't have made
that big of a difference.
1590
01:06:24,194 --> 01:06:27,030
- I'm sorry.
I was hired to play a role
1591
01:06:27,114 --> 01:06:28,699
and they paid me
a lot of money.
1592
01:06:28,782 --> 01:06:30,325
Like, a lot.
1593
01:06:30,409 --> 01:06:31,493
- You're not making it
any better.
1594
01:06:31,576 --> 01:06:33,203
You're actually making it
a lot worse.
1595
01:06:33,286 --> 01:06:35,163
- Shh.
Did you hear that?
1596
01:06:35,247 --> 01:06:36,623
- Shit.
They're coming.
1597
01:06:36,707 --> 01:06:38,166
Play dead.
- What? No.
1598
01:06:38,250 --> 01:06:39,543
- They'll walk in here,
they'll see that we're dead,
1599
01:06:39,626 --> 01:06:40,502
and then they'll leave.
1600
01:06:40,585 --> 01:06:41,795
- But how-how did we die?
1601
01:06:41,878 --> 01:06:43,505
- I can't hear you.
I'm dying.
1602
01:07:02,816 --> 01:07:04,901
- What the...
1603
01:07:04,985 --> 01:07:06,862
[grunting]
1604
01:07:11,950 --> 01:07:14,703
[screaming]
1605
01:07:14,786 --> 01:07:16,997
- Oy! Did you hear that?
1606
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:18,582
- Yeah.
I think it's Ortiz.
1607
01:07:18,665 --> 01:07:21,877
- Oh. Then what the fuck
are you waiting for?
1608
01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:23,503
[muttering]
1609
01:07:23,587 --> 01:07:25,338
It's not fuckin'
rocket science.
1610
01:07:25,422 --> 01:07:27,257
[grunting]
1611
01:07:38,185 --> 01:07:39,978
- Kick me, bitch? Huh?
Kick this!
1612
01:07:43,607 --> 01:07:46,193
Kick me twice,
shame on me.
1613
01:07:50,781 --> 01:07:52,866
Kick me three times--
[screaming]
1614
01:07:58,538 --> 01:08:02,209
[gunshots]
1615
01:08:10,133 --> 01:08:12,719
Don't look,
I'm on your fuckin' back.
1616
01:08:12,803 --> 01:08:14,638
Come on, let's get
the fuck outta here.
1617
01:08:22,270 --> 01:08:23,980
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
1618
01:08:25,982 --> 01:08:26,900
Come on.
1619
01:08:34,491 --> 01:08:35,408
You think you can
win a gunfight
1620
01:08:35,492 --> 01:08:36,660
with a Colombian
drug lord?
1621
01:08:36,743 --> 01:08:38,912
- No. We don't have guns
in England.
1622
01:08:38,995 --> 01:08:40,247
Didn't you say you're
from North Philly?
1623
01:08:40,330 --> 01:08:42,457
- What are you doing?
I can't take the gun like that.
1624
01:08:42,541 --> 01:08:44,668
Give it to me right.
1625
01:08:44,751 --> 01:08:46,169
- Ron would be proud.
1626
01:08:46,253 --> 01:08:48,004
- Shut up, Ron would be proud.
1627
01:08:48,088 --> 01:08:49,798
Ron would be proud.
[gunshots]
1628
01:08:49,881 --> 01:08:51,424
Shit!
1629
01:08:51,508 --> 01:08:54,261
Go. Go, go, go.
1630
01:08:54,344 --> 01:08:56,555
Fuck, fuck, go.
1631
01:09:01,393 --> 01:09:02,477
[whistling]
1632
01:09:07,691 --> 01:09:10,277
- Okay. I'm going
to create a distraction,
1633
01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:12,112
and then you're going
to shoot the guy.
1634
01:09:12,195 --> 01:09:13,113
- Yeah.
- Are you ready?
1635
01:09:13,196 --> 01:09:15,115
- I've never been
more ready in my life.
1636
01:09:15,198 --> 01:09:17,826
- On three.
One, two--
1637
01:09:17,909 --> 01:09:19,369
- Wait, wait, wait.
No, don't count like that.
1638
01:09:19,452 --> 01:09:22,581
Go the other way. Three, two--
Like that does better for me.
1639
01:09:22,664 --> 01:09:26,251
- Three, two, one.
1640
01:09:26,334 --> 01:09:27,961
[metal clatters]
Go, go, go.
1641
01:09:28,044 --> 01:09:28,879
- It's go-time.
1642
01:09:30,714 --> 01:09:32,841
[gunshots]
Yeah, motherfucker!
1643
01:09:32,924 --> 01:09:34,509
Yeah, motherfucker!
1644
01:09:34,593 --> 01:09:36,219
[gun clicks]
1645
01:09:36,303 --> 01:09:37,721
God damn!
1646
01:09:37,804 --> 01:09:39,097
[gunshots]
Motherfucking prop!
1647
01:09:39,180 --> 01:09:40,640
I'm out! I'm out!
I'm out!
1648
01:09:42,893 --> 01:09:45,186
Fuck!
Almost got him.
1649
01:09:45,270 --> 01:09:47,022
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah.
1650
01:09:49,983 --> 01:09:51,568
- Okay, he's reloading.
1651
01:09:51,651 --> 01:09:52,736
Follow me. Quick.
- Okay.
1652
01:09:52,819 --> 01:09:55,113
Wait, wait. Wait for me!
Wait for me!
1653
01:09:58,575 --> 01:09:59,492
Damn it.
1654
01:09:59,576 --> 01:10:01,328
Can't believe
I missed his ass.
1655
01:10:01,411 --> 01:10:03,830
I had him. The sight.
It's gotta be the sight.
1656
01:10:03,914 --> 01:10:05,081
The sight is off with this.
- No, Kevin.
1657
01:10:05,165 --> 01:10:07,208
You just can't shoot for shit.
We need to think!
1658
01:10:07,292 --> 01:10:10,086
There has to be something
in here we can use.
1659
01:10:10,170 --> 01:10:12,923
- Guess what we can't use? This.
It's out of bullets.
1660
01:10:13,006 --> 01:10:14,341
I ain't got
no more bullets.
1661
01:10:14,424 --> 01:10:15,926
[gun clatters]
- Kevin! Focus.
1662
01:10:16,009 --> 01:10:17,218
- It's props.
1663
01:10:17,302 --> 01:10:19,346
It's a bunch of fuckin'
props over here.
1664
01:10:19,429 --> 01:10:26,144
♪♪♪
1665
01:10:26,227 --> 01:10:28,271
Whoop, there it is.
1666
01:10:30,023 --> 01:10:31,733
[door creaking]
1667
01:10:39,324 --> 01:10:41,493
[car horn honking]
1668
01:10:41,576 --> 01:10:56,466
♪♪♪
1669
01:11:08,353 --> 01:11:11,314
[gunshots]
1670
01:11:11,398 --> 01:11:14,234
- [Kevin] Hell no!
Oh, hell no!
1671
01:11:14,317 --> 01:11:17,404
[static]
Oh hell no! No-no-no--
1672
01:11:17,487 --> 01:11:18,947
- Got you,
motherfucker!
1673
01:11:21,032 --> 01:11:21,866
Oh shit!
1674
01:11:23,827 --> 01:11:25,912
Okay, okay,
okay, okay.
1675
01:11:25,996 --> 01:11:28,456
[grunting]
1676
01:11:28,540 --> 01:11:29,374
Hold his ass.
1677
01:11:34,045 --> 01:11:37,257
Oh, you thought it
was over, didn't you?
1678
01:11:37,340 --> 01:11:39,009
But I don't
travel alone.
1679
01:11:39,092 --> 01:11:41,469
No, I got my friends
with me.
1680
01:11:41,553 --> 01:11:45,265
Let me introduce you to
Mr. Fuck Shit and Mr. Up.
1681
01:11:45,348 --> 01:11:47,767
- Kevin, shut up!
- Okay. No, no, I was--
1682
01:11:47,851 --> 01:11:48,977
I had more,
but I can cut it.
1683
01:11:49,060 --> 01:11:50,270
Hold this motherfucker.
1684
01:11:52,188 --> 01:11:55,066
Shit! I thought
you had his feet!
1685
01:11:58,445 --> 01:12:01,698
Shit! Yeah.
We got his ass.
1686
01:12:01,781 --> 01:12:03,241
- I got him.
1687
01:12:03,324 --> 01:12:05,744
- Ain't no "I" in "team."
Put it up here.
1688
01:12:05,827 --> 01:12:07,287
Let's get outta here.
Come on.
1689
01:12:07,370 --> 01:12:10,290
Watch your step.
Watch your step. Let's go.
1690
01:12:10,373 --> 01:12:11,791
He kicked me right in
the fucking nose,
1691
01:12:11,875 --> 01:12:13,043
son of a bitch.
1692
01:12:18,840 --> 01:12:20,759
Run! Run.
1693
01:12:29,726 --> 01:12:31,728
Hey, wait a minute,
Jordan.
1694
01:12:31,811 --> 01:12:33,271
Jordan, slow down.
It's a cliff.
1695
01:12:33,354 --> 01:12:34,731
It's a cliff!
It's a cliff!
1696
01:12:39,861 --> 01:12:40,695
Oh, shit.
1697
01:12:42,697 --> 01:12:44,115
- Come on, we've got to go.
1698
01:12:44,199 --> 01:12:47,118
- I can't! I can't do that.
That's too far.
1699
01:12:47,202 --> 01:12:49,871
I'm sorry.
- Jesus Christ, just jump.
1700
01:12:49,954 --> 01:12:52,373
- Just go. Go save yourself!
- No!
1701
01:12:52,457 --> 01:12:55,085
We're both getting out of here.
Now, hurry the fuck up!
1702
01:12:57,962 --> 01:13:02,258
- Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
1703
01:13:02,342 --> 01:13:03,218
Fuck!
1704
01:13:06,763 --> 01:13:08,223
Go. Go. Go.
1705
01:13:08,306 --> 01:13:09,140
Shit.
1706
01:13:14,020 --> 01:13:16,147
Why didn't you say
you love me back?
1707
01:13:16,231 --> 01:13:19,943
- Uh, I dunno.
We just--
1708
01:13:20,026 --> 01:13:21,861
We're just kinda getting
to know each other and--
1709
01:13:21,945 --> 01:13:22,987
[gunshot]
1710
01:13:23,071 --> 01:13:24,155
[yelps]
1711
01:13:30,954 --> 01:13:34,499
- Any last words
before I blow your brains out?
1712
01:13:34,582 --> 01:13:36,918
- Don't shoot me, okay?
1713
01:13:37,001 --> 01:13:39,379
You ain't gotta
do this.
1714
01:13:39,462 --> 01:13:40,797
You ain't gotta
do this, man.
1715
01:13:46,886 --> 01:13:48,680
Yeah. Just let me...
1716
01:13:48,763 --> 01:13:51,266
[imitates squirrel]
1717
01:13:51,349 --> 01:13:53,977
- Why are you doing that?
1718
01:13:54,060 --> 01:13:57,147
Cut it out.
Stop it!
1719
01:13:57,230 --> 01:13:59,232
You look at me
when I kill you.
1720
01:13:59,315 --> 01:14:00,358
Look at me!
1721
01:14:00,441 --> 01:14:02,318
I know that there's
nothing up there.
1722
01:14:05,029 --> 01:14:06,573
[grunting]
1723
01:14:16,624 --> 01:14:19,752
[ringing]
1724
01:14:19,836 --> 01:14:21,004
[grunting]
1725
01:14:35,393 --> 01:14:37,645
Ah, shit!
1726
01:14:37,729 --> 01:14:42,442
[yelling]
1727
01:14:42,525 --> 01:14:45,570
- Go home. I'm sure there's
a real hero somewhere
1728
01:14:45,653 --> 01:14:46,988
in need of
a goofy sidekick.
1729
01:14:47,071 --> 01:14:48,531
[panting]
1730
01:14:48,615 --> 01:14:50,867
Well, you're not
alone anymore.
1731
01:14:54,037 --> 01:14:56,581
[wincing]
1732
01:14:56,664 --> 01:14:59,209
I've got you,
I promise!
1733
01:14:59,292 --> 01:15:00,877
Kevin!
1734
01:15:00,960 --> 01:15:02,754
Focus.
1735
01:15:04,881 --> 01:15:06,257
[grunting]
1736
01:15:10,678 --> 01:15:13,097
[yelling]
1737
01:15:13,181 --> 01:15:14,098
[thud]
1738
01:15:16,809 --> 01:15:18,853
- I owe you one.
1739
01:15:18,937 --> 01:15:20,313
[imitates squirrel]
1740
01:15:26,361 --> 01:15:28,571
I'm comin' for you.
1741
01:15:28,655 --> 01:15:29,864
I'm comin'.
1742
01:15:34,160 --> 01:15:36,579
It's a simple jump.
1743
01:15:36,663 --> 01:15:39,624
Three, two, one.
1744
01:15:49,676 --> 01:15:52,553
Hey.
Hey, come on.
1745
01:15:52,637 --> 01:15:54,722
Jordan, no.
Come on, get up. Get up.
1746
01:15:54,806 --> 01:15:56,683
Jordan, no.
1747
01:15:56,766 --> 01:15:59,060
Look at me.
Look at me.
1748
01:15:59,143 --> 01:16:02,897
Don't you die. Don't you die.
I'm not gonna let you die.
1749
01:16:02,981 --> 01:16:08,027
Come on, Jordan. You can't--
you can't die, not--
1750
01:16:08,111 --> 01:16:11,531
Come on, Jordan.
Get up. Don't do--
1751
01:16:11,614 --> 01:16:14,575
Jordan! Jordan!
1752
01:16:14,659 --> 01:16:17,203
I jumped.
I got over here.
1753
01:16:17,287 --> 01:16:20,581
Jordan?
I fucking jumped!
1754
01:16:20,665 --> 01:16:24,210
[crying]
I fucking jumped.
1755
01:16:27,839 --> 01:16:29,090
I fuckin'--
1756
01:16:29,173 --> 01:16:33,177
Breathe.
[clapping]
1757
01:16:33,261 --> 01:16:35,346
- Bravo.
1758
01:16:35,430 --> 01:16:37,807
It's a wrap, everybody.
1759
01:16:37,890 --> 01:16:40,101
[cheers and applause]
Bravo.
1760
01:16:45,106 --> 01:16:46,482
- A wrap?
1761
01:16:46,566 --> 01:16:47,817
- Agent Hart!
1762
01:16:47,900 --> 01:16:48,901
- Coach Ron?
1763
01:16:48,985 --> 01:16:52,196
- Woo! Yeah!
1764
01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:54,157
- Yeah!
- Oh, yeah.
1765
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:55,491
- What the fuck
is happening?
1766
01:16:57,827 --> 01:16:59,829
- Hey, baby. It was good workin'
with you.
1767
01:16:59,912 --> 01:17:01,539
No hard feelings, man.
Sorry.
1768
01:17:09,297 --> 01:17:12,258
- Hi.
- Oh, no. Come on, Jordan.
1769
01:17:12,342 --> 01:17:14,719
This was a part of it, too?
- Yeah.
1770
01:17:14,802 --> 01:17:17,263
Sorry, Kevin.
- Jordan.
1771
01:17:17,347 --> 01:17:19,474
I really thought
that I lost you.
1772
01:17:19,557 --> 01:17:22,310
- Oh, Kevin.
1773
01:17:22,393 --> 01:17:24,479
- Well, I guess I'm glad
that you're alive.
1774
01:17:24,562 --> 01:17:26,814
- Well, movie magic.
1775
01:17:29,776 --> 01:17:32,111
- Movie magic.
- Very good. Very good, guys.
1776
01:17:35,990 --> 01:17:38,743
- Jordan, no.
Come on. Get up. Get up.
1777
01:17:38,826 --> 01:17:41,329
Jordan, you can't do this.
Don't die.
1778
01:17:41,412 --> 01:17:43,998
Come on, Jordan.
Get up. Don't do--
1779
01:17:44,082 --> 01:17:48,127
Jordan!
Jordan!
1780
01:17:48,211 --> 01:17:51,506
I did it. I jumped.
I got over here!
1781
01:17:51,589 --> 01:17:55,426
Jordan.
I fuckin' jumped!
1782
01:17:55,510 --> 01:17:58,888
[crying]
I fuckin' jumped.
1783
01:17:58,971 --> 01:18:06,813
♪♪♪
1784
01:18:06,896 --> 01:18:10,066
[clapping]
1785
01:18:15,029 --> 01:18:17,698
[sighs]
- Well?
1786
01:18:23,746 --> 01:18:26,332
- That may be the strangest
movie I've ever seen.
1787
01:18:29,377 --> 01:18:33,798
So bizarre
and-and-and violent.
1788
01:18:37,009 --> 01:18:41,597
And yet...
authentic.
1789
01:18:44,809 --> 01:18:47,019
You can't teach
acting like that.
1790
01:18:47,103 --> 01:18:48,354
- So, you liked it?
- Like it?
1791
01:18:48,438 --> 01:18:50,106
I like kidney-shaped
swimming pools.
1792
01:18:50,189 --> 01:18:51,899
I like reduced-fat
eggnog.
1793
01:18:51,983 --> 01:18:53,985
This movie?
1794
01:18:54,068 --> 01:18:55,945
I loved.
1795
01:18:56,028 --> 01:18:57,864
- He loves it.
1796
01:18:57,947 --> 01:18:59,949
- How does it feel
to be a leading man
1797
01:19:00,032 --> 01:19:01,576
in your own
action movie?
1798
01:19:01,659 --> 01:19:04,620
- Wow.
- Kevin, please.
1799
01:19:04,704 --> 01:19:06,414
- Oh, the same stage.
1800
01:19:06,497 --> 01:19:07,874
Uh...
[applause]
1801
01:19:07,957 --> 01:19:10,293
Oh, stop, stop.
Guys.
1802
01:19:10,376 --> 01:19:12,879
Well, I learned
two things.
1803
01:19:12,962 --> 01:19:15,298
The first thing is
that it's dangerous.
1804
01:19:15,381 --> 01:19:17,008
It's dangerous
as hell.
1805
01:19:17,091 --> 01:19:19,177
I mean, I was set on fire.
[chuckling]
1806
01:19:19,260 --> 01:19:20,470
I was hit in the head
with a bat.
1807
01:19:20,553 --> 01:19:22,597
Punched. Kicked.
I'm really gonna be scarred.
1808
01:19:22,680 --> 01:19:24,640
[laughing]
- Yeah, he probably is.
1809
01:19:24,724 --> 01:19:25,725
- No, I'm serious. I don't know
why you're laughing,
1810
01:19:25,808 --> 01:19:27,310
I'm being very serious.
[laughing]
1811
01:19:27,393 --> 01:19:29,395
I'm gonna have real issues
because of this guy right here.
1812
01:19:29,479 --> 01:19:30,771
- Fuck yeah!
- It's not--
1813
01:19:30,855 --> 01:19:34,108
It's not a fuck yeah.
It's a serious thing.
1814
01:19:36,444 --> 01:19:40,239
The second thing that
I learned is that, uh,
1815
01:19:40,323 --> 01:19:45,203
there's no such thing
as a leading man.
1816
01:19:45,286 --> 01:19:47,705
'Cause you're nothing
without your co-stars.
1817
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:53,544
And I had that
in-in you guys.
1818
01:19:53,628 --> 01:19:55,421
So, thank you. Come on.
Get up here.
1819
01:19:55,505 --> 01:19:56,797
Seriously. Get up here.
- Bro.
1820
01:19:56,881 --> 01:19:58,216
- Buddy.
- Take this in.
1821
01:19:58,299 --> 01:19:59,842
Take it in with me.
1822
01:19:59,926 --> 01:20:01,969
Wait, wait.
Do I get top billing?
1823
01:20:02,053 --> 01:20:03,304
- Yeah. You'll have
top billing.
1824
01:20:03,387 --> 01:20:04,639
- Nice.
I forgot to ask.
1825
01:20:04,722 --> 01:20:06,140
- Well, I think it's time
to celebrate.
1826
01:20:06,224 --> 01:20:07,266
- Yes!
- Yes!
1827
01:20:07,350 --> 01:20:09,185
- Looks like we've got
a hit on our hands!
1828
01:20:09,268 --> 01:20:11,312
- Ron, congratulations!
1829
01:20:11,395 --> 01:20:15,399
- Congratulations, everybody.
[applause]
1830
01:20:15,483 --> 01:20:18,319
- Ladies and gentlemen, we have
a real treat for you today.
1831
01:20:18,402 --> 01:20:20,154
- Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Easy with the spoilers.
1832
01:20:20,238 --> 01:20:22,240
This requires a little
dramatic build-up.
1833
01:20:22,323 --> 01:20:23,783
- Okay.
Here it is.
1834
01:20:23,866 --> 01:20:25,201
Now, you know that
I'm not a big fan
1835
01:20:25,284 --> 01:20:28,162
of these high-budget
action films.
1836
01:20:28,246 --> 01:20:29,247
- Here she goes again
1837
01:20:29,330 --> 01:20:31,541
with her love
of fancy foreign films.
1838
01:20:31,624 --> 01:20:33,292
- I have discerning taste.
This is my build-up.
1839
01:20:33,376 --> 01:20:35,127
This is what you requested.
- Continue.
1840
01:20:35,211 --> 01:20:37,755
- This movie
by Claude Van De Velde moved me.
1841
01:20:37,838 --> 01:20:39,715
I gotta say.
- It's an incredible film.
1842
01:20:39,799 --> 01:20:41,592
I've seen it 27 times.
1843
01:20:41,676 --> 01:20:43,135
Team Van de Velde right here.
1844
01:20:43,219 --> 01:20:45,930
- The hero of this movie
is not the action star
1845
01:20:46,013 --> 01:20:47,139
that you would expect.
1846
01:20:47,223 --> 01:20:49,976
The one that really
saves the day.
1847
01:20:50,059 --> 01:20:51,769
Well, we have him here today.
1848
01:20:51,852 --> 01:20:54,772
Ladies and gentlemen,
Sassy the squirrel.
1849
01:20:54,855 --> 01:20:56,440
[cheers and applause]
1850
01:20:56,524 --> 01:20:58,901
- Oh, you're a lot bigger
in person.
1851
01:20:58,985 --> 01:21:00,903
- Oh, hell no.
1852
01:21:00,987 --> 01:21:15,876
♪♪♪
1853
01:21:31,017 --> 01:21:45,906
♪♪♪
1854
01:22:01,047 --> 01:22:15,936
♪♪♪
1855
01:22:31,077 --> 01:22:45,966
♪♪♪
1856
01:23:01,107 --> 01:23:15,996
♪♪♪