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[music playing]

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The south island of New
Zealand, it's an epic place.

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It's wet.

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It's cold.

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It's snowy.

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If you don't respect
the environment here,

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it will slap you hard.

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I just need to
bring some food in.

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Look at that stonker.

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Last night there was
deer all around me.

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That's freaking delicious.

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I know how tough
it's going to be.

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Oh my [bleep], I miss them.

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You've got to
feel safe, otherwise

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you just die out here.

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It doesn't feel
as bad as it looks.

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It feels worse.

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This [bleep] just got real.

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[bleep]!

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I'm scared enough to have an
emergency tap-out in my hand.

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The last person standing,
they take home $250,000.

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Somebody help me!

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Oh, I think he's bigger
than the other one.

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I'm eating a lot of
greens that I haven't really

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found overly palatable,
but I'm not going

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to waste this opportunity.

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In the back of my head I've
always been saying, 100 days.

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Let's try 100 days.

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I'm learning that my
capacity to bring in protein

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here is very limited.

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Time to finish off
the little mouse trap.

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I have no food.

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I've seen a couple of
mice around and possum.

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That worked.

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This is my future
protein supply.

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Oh!

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Oh, that is just freaking awful.

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I know my wife
would be saying, just

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listen to your heart.

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Your heart's where
the answers are.

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[phone ringing]

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I'm calling up to officially
bow out of "Alone Australia".

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I look forward to the loving
embrace of my wife again.

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Time to return to family.

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Something changed
yesterday big time.

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It's freezing cold.

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Got up this morning, it
was a very cold morning

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after a very cold night.

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Ice everywhere.

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Just not a lot of
fuel, unfortunately.

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Haven't caught some
fresh trout in a while.

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I think it could
be the cold snap.

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Hey, this is exciting.

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It's the first snow.

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A little bit more and we've
got snow angels and snowmen

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and snow fights.

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It looks awesome.

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I love it.

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In Sweden, when the
first snow comes,

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you get up in the
morning and you go, yeah!

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Like, I love running
in the first snow.

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It's sort of cool to
walk around and there's

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some snow on the ground,
and when you're walking,

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it squeaks.

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As soon as it comes in, it just
lifts the light a little bit.

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It just gets a
little bit lighter.

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There's still a bit of wet rain,
so I've got to get in shelter.

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Even though, like, it
looks beautiful, let's

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be real here, like,
it's much more serious.

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I need to get food, and,
like, snow makes it harder.

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So I've had two weeks
now without any protein.

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Two weeks with tree fern
fronds and a few berries.

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Now I'm sitting in a situation.

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The weather has been so cold
that not even the mice are out

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on camera, so trapping
is sort of out of it

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for the moment, where
hunting had no luck,

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and fishing is the most
challenging concept.

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Like, it is super high water.

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Today I've got planned
a whopper of a day.

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I plan to go and get
some fern fronds.

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The reason I go is I only have
two pieces of fern frond left,

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and they're two skinny pieces,
which is hardly any food.

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And because I can't
get anything else,

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that's my only food source, so
I have to go, no matter what.

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Mud.

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For me to go and get
the only food I can get,

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tree fern fronds, 45 minutes
each way, it is a hard trip.

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You have to move slow.

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You're tired.

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Snow mixed with mud
mixed with wet logs

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is a lethal combination.

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[groans]

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There's some good tree ferns.

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Take a couple.

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This is a big energy expenditure
for me, and to be honest,

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I don't even think the calories
you get out of it is worth

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the walk you're doing, right?

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But what options do you have?

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You either try or give
up, and I don't give up.

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Fingertips are really cold.

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Just going to heat
them up a little bit.

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Get your hands in your
armpits and just wait.

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Might as well process this.

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On face value, I don't think
that a lot of my city friends

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and acquaintances pick me
as a hunter and gatherer,

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but then again, my
hunter gatherer friends

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wouldn't pick me being a
city person modeling either.

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I guess I've done it right.

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Not bad for a model from
Darlinghurst, right?

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All right, I think I'm done.

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This shall see me through
to protein arrives.

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So I've been lying here for
what, the last three hours

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or so, trying to fall asleep.

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Yay!

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[sighs]

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My brain is going a million
miles an hour just thinking

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about completely random stuff.

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Thinking about how much the
average walking speed of humans

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has increased over the
last couple 1,000 of years

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with the average increase
in height of people.

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Yeah.

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If anyone's got any tips for how
to slow the mind down out here,

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send smoke signals or something.

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Didn't sleep much last
night at all again.

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Mind races.

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Can't sleep.

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F is for fort.

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I'm, making a little sign
for our shelter something

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that says Fort Kick[bleep].

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I do feel tired.

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Why am I finding it so
hard to fall asleep here?

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Yeah, when I was 11, I
got diagnosed with ADHD,

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and as most kids in what would
have been the '90s, when they

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got diagnosed with that, it
was straight onto the Ritalin.

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And so I was on that
for a couple of years,

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and that really turned me
into a bit of a zombie,

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all because I really didn't
concentrate at school.

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And with it, with that, I still
didn't really concentrate.

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I'm more of a visual learner so
classes where it was more hands

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on and stuff, I
excelled at, so things

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like ceramics, metalwork,
woodwork, home economics.

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I loved those classes and did
really well in those, but stuff

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where I'm sitting in a classroom
for like six hours staring

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at a blackboard, no.

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No way.

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Not my way of learning.

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So I've found a way
to cope, and it works,

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and there's definitely a bit
of aspie in there as well,

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but, hey, just makes
me more interesting.

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I think that's part of
the reason why I really

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like the outdoors as well,
because any skills you learn

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for the outdoors,
they're are all hands on.

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Did I just have an epiphany?

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Lightning just struck my brain.

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Oh, that must have hurt.

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Fort Kick[bleep].

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Pretty chuffed with that.

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Morning.

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It's cold.

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There was ice on
everything this morning.

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Maybe because I'm
losing weight, I'm

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just finding it harder
and harder to stay warm.

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I have zero to eat.

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My belly is saying,
come on, come on.

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Fish were on, bam, and hit
me at once, then nothing.

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I have to fish more.

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There's something
happening in my body.

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There's this weakness that's
just overcome me at the moment.

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It's like my mind is just a
microsecond ahead of my body

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all the time now.

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It's like I'm walking, but
I'm not quite keeping up,

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and the ledge is dangerous.

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But I'm back to
drinking lots of water,

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because every time I feel
hungry, I just drink water.

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You know, it's not just hunger.

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It's not just doing
without a few meals.

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I'm starving.

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Now, I know it's cold, fishyoes.

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God, even if I saw
a trout swim past

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I'd be happy at the moment.

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Just tell me if I get a fish on.

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I'll wake up.

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Oh my [bleep].

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There's a big one just
right in front of me.

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Oh my [bleep], that was just--

186
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[bleep]!

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Snapped off.

188
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That was so freaking big.

189
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[bleep] missed one.

190
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[groans]

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I knew it'd be a
good time to fish.

192
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I wanted to catch
that thing and eat it.

193
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I'm so hungry.

194
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[sobs]

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I'm so hungry.

196
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Well, I don't think I've felt
quite as frustrated as this

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yet.

198
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:15,760
My patience is just so thin
at the moment, like so thin,

199
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,360
and I think it's just because I
haven't got enough sugar going

200
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,640
in my brain and I'm just--

201
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I'm hangry, basically,
and just frustrated and--

202
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,880
I've been fishing every
day for a number of weeks

203
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,600
now, with a number of
lines in the water,

204
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,760
with a few different
sorts of lures.

205
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,280
No bites.

206
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,480
Doing a huge amount of
foraging, so lots of berries,

207
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:46,840
lots of supplejack shoots.

208
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,520
The agriculture is what
I know and the foraging.

209
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,360
But it's just like, if I
want to be here on day 80,

210
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,720
I need to get more food.

211
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,480
So one thing popped
into mind, which

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00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,760
was this sedge on this
point right here behind me.

213
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,720
I'm going to check
that out today it may

214
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,520
have viable seed in its head.

215
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,040
If it does, I'll
be harvesting it.

216
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,240
Beautiful sedge.

217
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,720
This looks promising.

218
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,320
Yeah, that's got seed in it.

219
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,640
OK.

220
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,880
These chunky ones are
probably the female ones.

221
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,760
The seeds are actually
a little green.

222
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,960
See those lovely, lovely seeds?

223
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,280
So that's carbohydrate
in those seeds.

224
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,960
I think I'm starting
to harvest them now.

225
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,000
It's just happening.

226
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,240
OK, let's do this.

227
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,680
I'll just stick
them in my pocket.

228
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,120
Collecting the seed at
the end of the season

229
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,520
is my job at home.

230
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,720
Harvesting the rocket
seed and the kale seed

231
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:04,880
and the parsley and celery
and tomato and pumpkin.

232
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,200
That's what I do.

233
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,560
I'm the seed woman.

234
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,320
And the intelligence in a seed
that then turns into a plant

235
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,360
that then fruits and that
we can eat that fruit

236
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,560
and then save some of
that seed for next year.

237
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,800
The seed is a miraculous thing.

238
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:39,760
Just separating the
seed pod from the husk,

239
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:45,520
and you can see that the seed,
so the seed's the green bit

240
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,320
and the husk is the brown bit,
so the seeds have come out

241
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,920
of the husk.

242
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:55,920
So we just want to be left
with the little green seeds.

243
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,400
I'll be harvesting
as much as I can

244
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,160
and roasting it and
grinding it and making

245
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a sort of a carbohydrate.

246
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,720
This is so much more labor
intensive than any calories

247
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:16,040
I might get out of it, but I'm
really enjoying myself, so--

248
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,480
Smells really good.

249
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,920
It smells like
roasting sesame seed.

250
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:44,240
Mm, it's like a seeded biscuit.

251
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So good.

252
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:47,520
So good.

253
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,880
I think I should leave
some for tomorrow.

254
00:20:56,440 --> 00:21:02,760
Yeah, it's really good,
if you're into grit.

255
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:13,320
Wow, what a beautiful
evening, and I feel happy.

256
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:27,280
I started physically missing my
pack, missing the skin contact.

257
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:34,000
The silken fur of Toby
and Charlie and the warmth

258
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,320
of John's body.

259
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:44,800
I just really want that
skin on skin touch contact

260
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,000
with my pack.

261
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,000
I'm feeling lots of
emotion coming up,

262
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:57,840
but I'm OK with that.

263
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,280
I feel-- I feel strong still.

264
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,840
I thought I'd go to bed
last night or yesterday

265
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,320
afternoon, because I just--

266
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,360
I didn't want to
look after the fire.

267
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:50,400
I just-- I just didn't want
to do anything, to be honest.

268
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:57,800
Lying in bed for 15, 16 hours
probably did my body good,

269
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:05,320
but I don't know about the
mental state for the first time

270
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:06,080
out here.

271
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:15,720
I feel like I've done a lifetime
of therapy in one night,

272
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,200
but without support.

273
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,080
When I first met my husband,
I used to have these dreams.

274
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,040
I call them shredded dreams
because it feels like I'm

275
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,480
shredding up life.

276
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,920
And I figured--

277
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,280
I put it down and
still do, put it down

278
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:44,240
to the trauma of being in the
police force and the things

279
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:51,400
that I did, things
that I witnessed,

280
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:56,280
things that other
people did, all of it.

281
00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,360
And I was drinking
pretty hard by then.

282
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:06,680
Anyway, I haven't had those
dreams for 10 years or so.

283
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,280
They-- they stopped.

284
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:22,400
So last night I had one, but
tenfold on the vividness.

285
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:38,680
And so I don't need to get
into graphics, trust me.

286
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:44,640
Just take your worst nightmare
ever, wrap your family up

287
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,080
in it, and just play
it out for hours.

288
00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:05,080
Add a really good
dash of helplessness

289
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:17,200
and then wake up and
not know where you are.

290
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:30,960
Last night was the first
night I actually really got

291
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:41,400
to look inside the depths of
what's happened in my life.

292
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:52,400
And I don't want to run,
because I know it's probably

293
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:53,960
really good for me.

294
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:01,080
I've actually realized I have
PTSD from the police force.

295
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,400
I didn't realize.

296
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:08,640
I probably should have got
some help long, long ago.

297
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,480
Not crazy all right out
here, let me tell you.

298
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:45,880
I'm so laid up,
I can hardly move.

299
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,400
There's snow
covered alps around.

300
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:50,960
Thick, white snow.

301
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:53,200
It was cold last night
and I feel a bit cold now,

302
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:57,000
so I've just got all the rain
gear and all of the stuff

303
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,840
on because I have a plan today.

304
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,320
I'm off for a
little fishing trip.

305
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,920
Getting fish is getting
to the point where it's--

306
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:13,040
you know, that's going to be the
difference between me staying

307
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:13,720
or leaving.

308
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,840
I did an explore trip a
while back where I walked up

309
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:30,240
the river, and it was a bit
of a bush bash, to be honest,

310
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,760
but I saw a few
big trout, and then

311
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,280
I ended up at this place
which was really accessible.

312
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,280
It had a big sand bank on
it, and there was, like,

313
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:43,360
one sort of turbulent, deep pool
that looked like it should hold

314
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:44,040
fish.

315
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:47,320
We'll see.

316
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:48,040
We'll see.

317
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:52,600
Almost there.

318
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,720
Getting protein is
difficult right now.

319
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:11,000
Like, is it crazy to think just
a few weeks ago, I would see,

320
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,240
you know, 5 to 10
of them cruising?

321
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:25,360
Right, we just got a revelation.

322
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:30,560
I've just physically watched
two pairs of trout spawning,

323
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:34,320
so this is not post-spawn,
which I thought it was.

324
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:39,720
This is actually during spawn,
which changes everything.

325
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,440
Fishing's going to be seriously,
seriously tough because they're

326
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:47,640
obviously not
focusing on eating.

327
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:54,520
Now, just across the river, in
the water on the other side,

328
00:28:54,680 --> 00:29:03,280
there is a self-dead spawn
trout which I want to eat.

329
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,840
Now, just where I am,
it's not very deep.

330
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,680
I can get over
mid-thigh, so I'm going

331
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:14,840
to take my pants off, walk over,
grab the fish, walk back over.

332
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,200
I'm hoping there's a fish.

333
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,080
It looks like a fish, and
I'm happy to eat that.

334
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,080
That's not a problem.

335
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,320
Here we go.

336
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:25,520
Oh, ow.

337
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,320
I haven't had food
for so long that even

338
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,840
a self-dead spawn
trout is wanted,

339
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,560
so I'm going to take the risk.

340
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:32,240
Where did I see it?

341
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:33,040
Over here.

342
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:36,760
Oh, it's just--

343
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,000
You've got to watch for
a step on the rocks.

344
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,560
Get the holes.

345
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:57,280
Oh, [bleep].

346
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:10,720
[bleep].

347
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,720
It looks like there's
a hole in between,

348
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,040
and it's deeper than I want.

349
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,560
Deeper than I can go.

350
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:23,200
No.

351
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:26,680
Not worth the risk.

352
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,120
[groans]

353
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:40,520
[bleep].

354
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:43,840
And this on first.

355
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,440
One second.

356
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,760
I misjudged it.

357
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,560
It's in front of that--

358
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:58,120
I meant to pass over in front of
that triangle of rock, you see?

359
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:02,880
And the clear water makes it
look like it's groin deep,

360
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,480
but it's a big hole.

361
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:08,600
Like, I'm hungry, right?

362
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,440
I want to eat.

363
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:16,200
But cold water and current
is not a good combination,

364
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:24,320
and what would it mean if I
didn't get it is I'm hungry,

365
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,680
I'm here, I can keep fighting.

366
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,880
If I fall in, I'm home.

367
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:33,440
So I'm going to head back.

368
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:48,920
Fishing wasn't that interesting,
but I found something waiting.

369
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:50,800
I'll show you.

370
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,680
There's a deer print there.

371
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,480
Couple of hoof prints.

372
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,680
And you can see how they've
got rain dribbles in it,

373
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:04,160
so I would say this is last
night, not this morning.

374
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:05,560
It looks like one deer.

375
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,320
They didn't walk up here.

376
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,560
They continued out.

377
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,400
I don't know if you can
see through the water.

378
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:21,200
Those pebbles there, that's
deer poop, red deer poop.

379
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:26,080
So that puts the question
to me, is it worth

380
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:33,800
just taking the bow and arrow
and just sit here just in case?

381
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:34,640
I think so.

382
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:11,960
Well, that's another day.

383
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,160
I've actually got quite
a headache this morning.

384
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,400
I really like
falling asleep again,

385
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,240
and it just means I'm
sleeping in later as well.

386
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:21,720
It's annoying.

387
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,120
I'm quite tired.

388
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:26,200
I'm beyond tired.

389
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,360
I'm exhausted.

390
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,960
Such is life, as one
criminal once said.

391
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,920
I mean, I do miss my
family and I miss Erin.

392
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,080
She definitely gets me.

393
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,520
The most supportive person in
my world and my best friend.

394
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,760
If it wasn't for her, I
wouldn't be on this adventure.

395
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,280
I'm just going to climb
in my sleeping bag

396
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,400
and try and sleep
this headache off.

397
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:06,280
Yeah, there's a bit of a
spinning going from vertical

398
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:07,320
to horizontal.

399
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,240
Oh, man.

400
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:15,960
That's vertigo.

401
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:19,400
Nice.

402
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,520
That does make me feel nauseous.

403
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,640
I hope I can shake the vertigo.

404
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,360
[groans]

405
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:42,080
I want to see how long
I can last out here.

406
00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:47,440
But between the headache
and the lack of energy,

407
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,520
I don't think it'll
be too much longer.

408
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:20,800
Well, I've got to say, I
feel like [bleep] physically.

409
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,000
I wouldn't be safe on the ledge.

410
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:26,360
I'm so tired, I can't get up.

411
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:30,080
Oh.

412
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:44,360
My [bleep], I haven't caught a
[bleep] trout in days and days.

413
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,200
I kept hearing the
Canadian geese going crazy.

414
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,600
I swear I was thinking
about shooting one.

415
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,280
It's just this
whole, could I do it?

416
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,160
Can I do it?

417
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,800
Do I want to do it?

418
00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:16,480
I haven't eaten meat
for about eight years.

419
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,240
I think when I
first came out here,

420
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:25,400
I decided that I wanted to try
and stick to trout fishing.

421
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:30,720
I ruled out a lot of my
food source by not hunting.

422
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,200
Ah!

423
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,840
Kill, not to kill.

424
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:46,000
I'm going to sit again, maybe
even with my bow and arrows,

425
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,680
down where they hang.

426
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:21,960
The geese are on
my shore almost.

427
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,680
They're about two
or three meters off.

428
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:30,840
They are plump.

429
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:42,080
Oh my [bleep], I could just
plop you with my arrow.

430
00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:45,480
Oh my [bleep].

431
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,800
I don't know what's going
to happen, if I will or not.

432
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,320
I just thought I'd come and
put myself out of the torment.

433
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,520
It's like there's so many
things going around in my head.

434
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:24,600
I've noticed if you're not
receiving healthy foods,

435
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:29,760
your body goes into defend
mode, survival mode.

436
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:56,840
What do I do?

437
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:01,960
Do I take one, stay
a couple of days?

438
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:07,520
Then do I start taking more
and more to stay longer,

439
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,880
doing something I don't
really want to do?

440
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:11,120
[goose call]

441
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,200
There.

442
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:13,600
There you go I
don't want to do it.

443
00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:19,080
No, I don't want to do it.

444
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:23,560
I don't want to.

445
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,400
I don't want to kill it.

446
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,600
I'm not here just to
kill to stay longer.

447
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:36,560
What if I had?

448
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,960
Oh, thank goodness.

449
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,520
I tried.

450
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,280
I can't.

451
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,240
I don't want to
kill anything else.

452
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:11,120
I think I thought I was going to
bring in a bit of my childhood

453
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:15,800
and a bit of survival
mode, mix it all up,

454
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:20,760
and just hunt, I think.

455
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:34,200
So with that off my shoulders,
where do I go from here?

456
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,560
[beeping]

457
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,120
Hey, it's Tamika.

458
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,080
I'm officially tapping out.

459
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,280
How are you, Tamika?

460
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:04,600
50-50, but I know it's--

461
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:06,760
I know it's time.

462
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:12,160
I can't push anymore, so
if the body gives out,

463
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,560
the body gives out, and I
don't want to hurt myself.

464
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:22,360
And I just thought if I step
on that ledge and I slip,

465
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,440
I probably won't get
out of that water.

466
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,800
You've got to do what's right,
I think, so for yourself

467
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,680
and for your family.

468
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,240
So it's the right decision.

469
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,680
I'm going to miss
it, but it's been--

470
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,040
it's been great.

471
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:39,600
Yeah.

472
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,720
I'm definitely
happy with 53 days,

473
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:53,200
because I think I've just
done the best that I could do.

474
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,320
It's like safety first,
but the killing aspect's

475
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:06,640
a very close second, and
killing's not part of me

476
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:07,480
anymore.

477
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:13,680
You know, there's
this need to feed,

478
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:19,720
but it's like my
heart doesn't want to,

479
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:24,120
and I've just become someone
who prefers not to kill animals.

480
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,360
I just want to hug my
girls and my husband.

481
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:40,560
I can't wait.

482
00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:48,120
I put them in the
depths of my realm

483
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,640
to try and not think about them,
and then, yeah, I can't wait.

484
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,720
I also believe I'm showing the
girls that there's not just

485
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:00,280
one path in life.

486
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,440
If I can show them that
I just gave it a crack

487
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,520
and gave it a go with all
the things that I had,

488
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:07,440
then I'd be happy.

489
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,720
Got a bow and arrow.

490
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,680
Literally I'm just going to
go over to the fishing area

491
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:39,040
where I saw the footprints
and sit and wait.

492
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,200
I don't really want
to get my hopes up,

493
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,160
but it looks like a
big deer on the prints.

494
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,400
It could have been a stag.

495
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:10,200
It's quite hard to imagine
the other people doing this.

496
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,520
It's a tough gig, man.

497
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,040
It's a tough gig.

498
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,760
Mentally it's probably one of
the toughest things I've done.

499
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:28,600
I honestly think I need to
rest, but I still obviously want

500
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,240
to win this thing.

501
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:34,080
It's never been my
way of being passive

502
00:45:34,240 --> 00:45:37,120
and just do the
least amount of work.

503
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:42,840
Like, I'd rather go out
guns blazing, you know?

504
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:43,640
Just who I am.

505
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,560
That's what I do.

506
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,200
I'm going to continue fishing
and hunting, trying to gather

507
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:54,360
food, do the best I can until
I get sent home or I tap out.

508
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,920
Did not want to get
up and out of bed today.

509
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:23,160
Headache's passed, thankfully.

510
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:24,800
The light-headedness
is still there,

511
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:32,000
and, yeah, I think the
vertigo is just malnutrition.

512
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,400
And the only way that's
going to get fixed

513
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:38,880
is with some actual food.

514
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:43,160
So, yeah.

515
00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:46,560
It's just that time.

516
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,320
[beeping]

517
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:01,000
It's ringing.

518
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:04,440
Hello?

519
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:05,120
Yeah?

520
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:14,440
This is Krzysztof and I am
officially ordering a pizza.

521
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:20,160
Puff Aussie with onion, puff
rosco with chili, please.

522
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,520
What do you mean no?

523
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:23,760
OK, worth a try.

524
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,840
And you thought I
was going to tap.

525
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:32,720
Not happening.

526
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,360
Only way I'm leaving is if
it's a medical emergency,

527
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,960
the doctor says I'm
unfit, or Erin's

528
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,520
here and says we're going home.

529
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,200
I'm going to enjoy
some sunshine.

530
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:50,120
We're going to catch some fish,
we're going to eat some fish,

531
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,480
we're going to feel good.

532
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:53,480
Life will be good.

533
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,160
This is a once in a
lifetime opportunity.

534
00:47:58,320 --> 00:47:59,480
I'm not going to tap out.

535
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,560
I'm going to keep
pushing as long as I can.

536
00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:03,560
Hopefully something will come.

537
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,200
The fire on the beach
is pretty special.

538
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,320
I'm grateful for a
lot of things here.

539
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,520
I'm grateful for the firewood.

540
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:33,120
I'm grateful for the berries
and the supplejack shoots

541
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:37,320
and the sedge seed flour.

542
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:39,840
I'm grateful that I
feel well and strong.

543
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:56,440
I don't think my reason's
changed for being here.

544
00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:00,080
I came here because I thought
it was exciting to give it a go,

545
00:49:00,240 --> 00:49:03,920
to see how I could go with
my years of experience

546
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:10,360
in the outdoors and foraging and
growing food and understanding

547
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:13,680
plants and having a love for
the more than human world.

548
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:29,440
I would so like to bring home
the $250,000 for our family.

549
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,480
The person who
stays the longest--

550
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:34,960
Come on.

551
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:35,600
--wins.

552
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:43,120
I feel a bit unstable today.

553
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:44,160
I'm clumsy.

554
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,640
If there's only one other
person still out here,

555
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,840
I would just be
handing them $250,000.

556
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,120
At this point in the game,
that's why I'm still here.

557
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:04,360
Make no bones about
it, that is why.

558
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,440
Every day is another day.

559
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,000
I surprised myself
I've made it this far.

560
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:10,480
My body's giving out.

561
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:15,440
Things are shutting down in
order of least importance.

562
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,800
It's just going to be
see how long I can last.

563
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:24,440
WOMAN: I'm sure you understand
based on the symptoms

564
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:29,680
that you're displaying, it
is no longer safe medically

565
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:30,640
for you to continue.

566
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,560
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