1
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,428
♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

2
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:13,971
KYLE:
Otherwise, he's dead weight.

3
00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:15,097
TREVOR:
It's hard to respect you

4
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,641
when you say
such idiotic things.

5
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,351
KYLE: It's idiotic not to see

6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,978
that Hawkeye is easily
the coolest Avenger.

7
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:23,648
TREVOR: With the same weapon
Robin Hood used.

8
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,483
♪ (MUSIC BUILDS) ♪

9
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,026
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
- Way to go, Stuart.

10
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,278
- How's this my fault?
- Your name in the title.

11
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,531
So what?
I'm frozen for all eternity

12
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,907
with my ass sticking out?

13
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,158
That's how they get
12-year-old boys

14
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,660
to buy comic books, honey.

15
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,746
Can anybody see where we are?

16
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:42,667
Uh... Uh...

17
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,877
Best I could tell,
we're with the new releases

18
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,587
between Marvel and Vertigo.

19
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,838
(WITH RHOTACISM) You weft out,

20
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,758
twapped on the cover
of a comic book.

21
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,219
I thought that was implied.

22
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,305
♪ (THEME SONG PLAYING) ♪

23
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,685
<i>♪ Stuart tries
To reset our lives ♪</i>

24
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,896
<i>♪ But he fails
To save the universe ♪</i>

25
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,941
<i>♪ He's our only chance
And he tries and he tries ♪</i>

26
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:10,070
<i>♪ But he fails
To save the universe ♪</i>

27
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:16,577
♪ (CHOIR VOCALIZING) ♪

28
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,211
<i>♪ Stuart fails ♪</i>

29
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,337
♪ (THEME SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

30
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,507
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

31
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,135
Ah, ah, what are you doing?

32
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,554
It said, "don't sell,"
not "don't read."

33
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,265
First of all, "it" is a he.

34
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,349
You don't know that.

35
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,976
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
- (SIGHS) It sounds like a he.

36
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,812
You're making
a gender-based assumption.

37
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,273
When has an omnipotent
swirling bowl of shit

38
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,357
ever been a girl?

39
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,984
There are plenty
of all-powerful goddesses.

40
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:53,195
Gaia, Hera, the hot chick
in <i>American Gods</i>

41
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,157
who sucked guys up
into her business.

42
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,826
(SIGHS) Put it back.

43
00:01:58,994 --> 00:01:59,995
Narc.

44
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,998
♪ (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

45
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,881
Still waiting on a plan, Stuart.

46
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,133
I got a plan.
You want to hear my plan?

47
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,260
- Bite me.
- Come on, guys.

48
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,971
More importantly,
who trapped us here and how?

49
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,682
I'm guessing it's whoever put me
in that insane asylum.

50
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,435
Can we please chat
about this when I'm able

51
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,521
to reach down
and scratch my balls?

52
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,106
Where's Bert?

53
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,400
Bert, where are you, big guy?

54
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,778
- BERT KIBBLER: <i>Page two.</i>
- What?

55
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:37,156
BERT: <i>Walk towards the big
splash page. Can't miss it.</i>

56
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,240
(SHOES SQUEAKING)

57
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,325
STUART BLOOM: Huh.

58
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,035
♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

59
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,955
- STUART: (GRUNTS) Ow.
- BERT: <i>Watch out for staples.</i>

60
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,584
(TRAFFIC WHIZZING)

61
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,214
(ECHOING WHOOSH)

62
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,841
- Oh, thank God. We're out.
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

63
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,512
- Actually, we're deeper in.
- Deeper into a comic book?

64
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,888
Pretty cool, huh?

65
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:04,141
No, not pretty cool.
How do we proceed now, my wiege?

66
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,268
How's this? You walk that way,
we'll walk this way,

67
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,728
and hopefully never
see each other again.

68
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,314
Whoa, where is
this hostiwity coming from?

69
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,068
Meanwhile, we're trapped
inside a comic book.

70
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,030
You know what?
This is actually great.

71
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,950
Whatever put us here
made a huge mistake.

72
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:24,662
Who knows more about comic books
than Stuart David Bloom?

73
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:27,707
- Frank Miller? Alan Moore?
- No one.

74
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:33,004
My sad, miserable childhood
has led me to this moment.

75
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:37,007
Comic books are my superpower.

76
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:42,179
- Okay, prove it. Where are we?
- Let's see. Uh...

77
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,932
City Hall, Wayne Tower,

78
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,685
two miles down that way,
Arkham Asylum.

79
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:51,647
We're in Gotham City.
Home of... Anyone?

80
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,190
(IN GRUFF VOICE) Batman.

81
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,900
- (CHUCKLES)
- How can I not love you?

82
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,028
So what? We just find Batman
and he'll get us out of here?

83
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,113
Denise.

84
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,406
(IN GRUFF VOICE)
Batman won't help you.

85
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,866
He's just a rich asshole
with dead parents.

86
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,200
Yeah, that's only funny once.

87
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,410
(IN GRUFF VOICE)
Go fuck yourself.

88
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,995
Wait a second.

89
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,039
- ♪ (INTRIGUING MUSICAL STING) ♪
- Wait a second.

90
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,626
- Cosmic Treadmill.
- Cosmic-what now?

91
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:15,212
Brilliant. The Flash.
He has the Cosmic Treadmill.

92
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,589
At the wisk
of sounding wedundant,

93
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,424
- cosmic-what now?
- Cosmic Treadmill.

94
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,051
It allows the Flash
to move between universes.

95
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,803
Tweadmill?
Like at 24 Hour Fitness?

96
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,430
No, but yeah.

97
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,223
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

98
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:29,311
If we need a superhero,
why not just get Superman?

99
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,062
So just get Superman?

100
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,939
There's no way
we can get Superman.

101
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,025
He's an A-list character.

102
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:39,320
The Flash, on the other hand,
very gettable.

103
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,489
He'll open a supermarket.

104
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,241
(SIGHS) Okay,
where do we wocate Mr. Flash?

105
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,494
He's in Central City.

106
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,495
And where is that?

107
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,122
According to DC canon,
roughly around Kansas City.

108
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,919
- Tewwific. And we are in...
- We're in New Jersey.

109
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,045
Gotham City isn't New York?

110
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,964
No, and guess what?
Metropolis is in Delaware.

111
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,257
No way.

112
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,927
Way. <i>Amazing World
of DC Comics</i> #14.

113
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,053
They're twin cities.

114
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,597
Fascinating.
Wet's find an airport.

115
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,517
Yeah. This way.

116
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,353
You might find this interesting.
Gotham's airport is named

117
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,396
after DC comic writer
Archie Goodwin.

118
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,273
I do not find that interesting.

119
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,652
♪ (EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

120
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,280
(PLANE ENGINE RUMBLING)

121
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,283
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

122
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:29,203
All right, folks,
I've got good news and bad news.

123
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,121
Looks like they cleared up
the maintenance issue,

124
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,290
but our crew has timed out,

125
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,710
so we're gonna have to wait
for the backup crew to show up.

126
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,503
In the meantime,

127
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:41,423
we're handing out
ten-dollar meal vouchers.

128
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,969
Pro tip,
avoid the airport sushi.

129
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,345
You hungry?

130
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,598
I hate to say it,
but now I want sushi.

131
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,308
I don't get it.

132
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:54,144
We're in an action-packed
comic book.

133
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,189
How is sitting for hours
in an airport a story?

134
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,317
♪ (ENERGETIC INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

135
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,988
♪ (SINGERS SCATTING) ♪

136
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,507
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

137
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,510
(IMITATING BATMAN)
I've seen darkness.

138
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:30,097
(IMITATING PENGUIN)
You've not seen it dark enough.

139
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,100
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

140
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,184
Kyle, can you come here?

141
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,729
- I'm busy.
- Please?

142
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,357
- What?
- I was reading the comic,

143
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,861
and they're not
on the cover anymore

144
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,904
You idiot.

145
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,822
- Where are they?
- Don't panic.

146
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,533
They're flying to Central City.
It's kind of boring.

147
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:52,036
- Denise has diarrhea.
- Oh, whoa, whoa. This is bad.

148
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,245
Please don't tell him.

149
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,415
I don't need to tell him.
He's all-knowing.

150
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,291
(WARBLING WHOOSH)

151
00:06:57,292 --> 00:07:01,253
- THE ADVERSARY: Oh, Trevor.
- Oh, Trevor.

152
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,547
In my defense,
you said don't sell it,

153
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,841
not don't read it. So...

154
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:09,804
- (TREVOR GROANING)
- (ENERGY BEAM WHOOSHING)

155
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,851
Between you and me,
I never liked him.

156
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,853
THE ADVERSARY: Mr. Freeze.

157
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,483
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

158
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:25,070
THE ADVERSARY:
You know what to do.

159
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,414
So, you gonna stick around?
I could order up some Chinese.

160
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,749
(WARBLING WHOOSH)

161
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,002
♪ (EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

162
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,338
(TRAFFIC WHIZZING)

163
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,760
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
- Where to?

164
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,721
- Look who it is.
- Oh. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, terrific.

165
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,847
Any time.

166
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,557
Yeah, "comic books
are my superpower."

167
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,142
- Where we going?
- STUART: Uh, give me a minute.

168
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,811
- (METER DINGS)
- Meter's running.

169
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,689
Maybe you can help us out.
We need to find the Flash.

170
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,857
Oh, sure.
He has an office midtown

171
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,943
in between an H&R Block
and a Quiznos.

172
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,319
I believe he's screwing with us.

173
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,113
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

174
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,323
All right, uh,
where would he hang out?

175
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,491
He's in the Justice League.

176
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,785
That's in a geosynchronous
space station

177
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,370
20,000 miles above the equator.

178
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,580
- Cops gonna make me move.
- Uh, let me think.

179
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,333
Barry Allen, the Flash,

180
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,961
works in the crime lab
of the Central City Police.

181
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,254
The Central City
Police Department?

182
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,089
- Yes, thank you.
- (GASPS)

183
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,508
- There he is! The Flash!
- Quick, follow him!

184
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,135
You want me to follow the Flash?

185
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,262
If you wouldn't mind.

186
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,932
- Get out of my cab.
- ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

187
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,979
Nice to see you.

188
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,981
ANNOUNCER: (OVER PA)
<i>The white zone is
for the loading and unloading</i>

189
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,568
<i>of passengers only.
No parking.</i>

190
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,990
- ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Oh, my God! Gary!

191
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,158
He sure does die a lot.

192
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,702
- DENISE: Oh, my God.
- (MR. FREEZE LAUGHING EVILLY)

193
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,495
It's Mr. Freeze!

194
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,832
(LAUGHS)

195
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,585
(FREEZE GUN CLICKS, HUMS)

196
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,004
- (YELPS)
- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

197
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,673
- (GROANS)
- ♪ (EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

198
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,175
- (WHOOSHING BLASTS)
- (ALL GASP)

199
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,385
BARRY KRIPKE: Run, everyone!

200
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:16,056
(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)

201
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,520
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
- Stuart Bloom!

202
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,439
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

203
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,067
He's not here.

204
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,569
Prepare to die.

205
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,237
Way ahead of you.

206
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,074
(LAUGHS)

207
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,040
Not today, Mr. Freeze.

208
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,542
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

209
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:46,795
Gutter ball.

210
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,546
We should keep running
for our lives.

211
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:50,631
Yeah.

212
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,007
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

213
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,469
That's not the Flash.
That's the, uh, FTD guy.

214
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,554
No, that was
the Golden Age Flash.

215
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,681
- So, we're on Earth-2?
- Not necessarily.

216
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:02,435
In 1985, <i>Crisis
on Infinite Earths</i> merged.

217
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,646
Duck!

218
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,943
I'm confused.
Mr. Freeze is a Batman villain.

219
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,028
Flash should be fighting
Captain Cold.

220
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,864
Really? That's
what we're focused on right now?

221
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:16,741
(WHOOSHING)

222
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,618
(WHOOSHING BLAST)

223
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:20,912
What's happening?

224
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,292
Uh, Mr. Freeze
is making an ice lasso.

225
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,877
He's gonna-- Oh, wait, no.

226
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:31,713
The Flash shook it apart
with superspeed vibrations.

227
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,842
Uh, uh, now Mr. Freeze is...

228
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:37,427
He's making
an ice locomotive to run over--

229
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,680
Oh, no, it's gone.
I guess the Flash did something.

230
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,431
I-- I couldn't see.

231
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:45,937
Uh, uh, now Mr. Freeze
is making a giant ice wall.

232
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,897
Now it's gone. Yeah, we get it.

233
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,983
Why is Mr. Freeze
trying to kill us?

234
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,609
It doesn't matter.
This is great.

235
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,944
- How?
- Don't you get it?

236
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,737
We're not background characters
anymore.

237
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,407
When Mr. Freeze showed up,
we became the "A" story,

238
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,159
which caused the Flash
to find us.

239
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,910
Oh, no!

240
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:05,581
Oh, Mr. Freeze has frozen
the Flash in a block of ice!

241
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:09,042
He's helpless! Wait, no!
Something's happening.

242
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,127
Oh, it's real fast.

243
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,962
Can't really tell
what's going on. Wait, wait.

244
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:16,758
Oh. A tornado is hurling
Mr. Freeze into space!

245
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:20,929
Holy cow! This is amazing.
I wish you guys could see this.

246
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,014
(ECHOING WHOOSH)

247
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,724
- Are you folks okay?
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

248
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,143
We're great. Thanks.
Listen, we've been trying
to get ahold of you.

249
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,771
We're tra--
Son of a bitch. He...

250
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,565
What a dick.

251
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,736
♪ (PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

252
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,907
I don't know why
we couldn't just come here
in the first place.

253
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,492
Sorry, I thought a guy
with a secret identity

254
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,037
would have an unlisted address.

255
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,331
If I was a member
of the Justice League,

256
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,957
I'd live in a gated community.

257
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,501
Technically, Golden Age Flash
was in the Justice Society,

258
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,338
which is the predecessor
of the Justice League.

259
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,340
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Does he talk comic books

260
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,843
- in the boudoir?
- Sometimes. Ka-pow!

261
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,138
- ♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Can I help you?

262
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,973
- Amy?
- Yes?

263
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,934
Is this the Garrick residence?

264
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,228
- Yes.
- ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

265
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,438
Uh, I'm... I'm confused.

266
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,357
Jay Garrick's girlfriend
is Joan.

267
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,816
(SCOFFS) Joan.

268
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,568
Joan took her Subaru
and headed to Portland,

269
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,570
if you know what I mean.

270
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,824
- Can I help you?
- JAY GARRICK: Honey?

271
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,452
- Who is it?
- Beats me.

272
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,372
- We need your help.
- We know you're the Flash.

273
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,375
- No, I'm not.
- Yeah, you are.

274
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,793
No, I'm really not.

275
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,419
We know about the accident
in the lab

276
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,545
and the bolt of lightning.

277
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,713
Actually,
this version of the Flash

278
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:39,383
gained his super speed
by inhaling radioactive vapors

279
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,884
while taking a smoke break.

280
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,803
Smoking and running?

281
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,805
- Really, Jay?
- Well, it was a different time.

282
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:45,889
(JAY HESITATES)

283
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,309
I mean, I'm not the Flash.

284
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,312
(SIGHS) Just let 'em in.

285
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,148
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

286
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,401
Smell that?
I think he still smokes.

287
00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,112
So wait, you're telling me
in one of the universes,

288
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,572
you had cow stomachs
and ate grass?

289
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,533
In one, I was a penguin.

290
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,952
- Sorry about that.
- No, I had it coming.

291
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,996
Oh, this is the most ridiculous
story I've ever heard.

292
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,580
(SCOFFS) You want ridiculous?

293
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,332
You fought
against Captain Boomerang,

294
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,875
Captain Cold,
and Captain Nazi.

295
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,128
Hey, those were all
formidable enemies.

296
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,838
Boomerang kept coming back.

297
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,756
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

298
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,009
- I made rugelach.
- JAY: Thanks, honey.

299
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,052
So, what's this all about?

300
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,971
They want me to use
the Cosmic Treadmill

301
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,433
- to get back to their universe.
- Oh, great. Let them have it

302
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,601
so I can park my car
in the damn garage.

303
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,603
They can't operate it
without my super speed.

304
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,647
Oh, can I ask you
a personal question about that?

305
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,774
It's over before
I even know it started.

306
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,527
- JAY: Amy.
- She asked.

307
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,029
Who wants a Dr. Brown's?

308
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,698
Well, I never say no
to a diet black chewwy.

309
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:45,950
Coming right up.

310
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,162
(CLEARS THROAT) All right.

311
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,539
If I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna need to change.

312
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,792
♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

313
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,840
♪ (MUSIC SWELLS) ♪

314
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,261
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
- Amy, where's my helmet?

315
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,637
AMY FARRAH FOWLER:
In the secret closet.

316
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,181
JAY: No, it's not.

317
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,224
- AMY: Are you even looking?
- Yes, I'm looking.

318
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,018
I see your rollerblades.

319
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,103
What are your rollerblades doing
in my secret closet?

320
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,981
AMY: I don't know.
What's your cosmic treadmill
doing in the garage?

321
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,317
Can you not run
without the helmet?

322
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:23,529
(SIGHS) I can.
It's just not as cool.

323
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,824
♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

324
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,869
Do the ankle wings do anything?

325
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,498
No. They came with the boots.

326
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,584
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

327
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:42,089
Oh, look at that.
(CHUCKLES) Found my helmet.

328
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,176
- AMY: Mazel tov.
- Oh, yeah. Real cool.

329
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,221
- So how does this work?
- I start running.

330
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,433
When I get it up to speed,
you grab onto the handles.

331
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,018
♪ (RIVETING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

332
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:58,146
- And?
- JAY: And I don't know.

333
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,107
You let go when you're in
the universe you're looking for.

334
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,358
(COSMIC TREADMILL BEEPS)

335
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,068
This doesn't feel
very thought out.

336
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:06,530
We... We're 100 percent sure
Superman's not available?

337
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,782
- MR. FREEZE: <i>Stuart Bloom!</i>
- (LOUD RUMBLING)

338
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,868
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

339
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:13,954
(FREEZE GUN HUMS)

340
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,165
Prepare to die.

341
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,084
Again.

342
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,754
<i>Ándawe,</i> Flash. <i>Ándawe.</i>

343
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,882
- (ECHOING WHOOSH)
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

344
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,552
Oh, fuck me!

345
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,430
(YELPS, GROANS)

346
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:35,184
♪ (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

347
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,653
(ECHOING)
See anything you like yet?

348
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,825
How about this one?

349
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,493
- (PORTAL WARBLES)
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

350
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,371
(GROUP PANTS)

351
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,873
(PANTS) Perfect. Thanks.

352
00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:01,001
All right. Got to go.
Shabbat with my in-laws.

353
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:02,503
- Whoo-hoo.
- (COSMIC TREADMILL BEEPS)

354
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,464
(ECHOING WHOOSH)

355
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,383
- ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Oh, no.

356
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,802
Oh, no, no, no.

357
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,888
- Hey, Kyle.
- Hey.

358
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,932
Oh, this is not good.
This is so not good.

359
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,435
Nice to see you, too.

360
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,227
You don't understand.

361
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,313
If he sees you here,
he's going to be angry,

362
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,023
and he's going to look
for someone to blame.

363
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,275
And I already threw Trevor
under the bus.

364
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,944
Well, wucky for you,
we're not hanging awound.

365
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,614
(SCOFFS, CHUCKLES)

366
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,324
Holy cwap!

367
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,869
Ah, fellas, you might want
to take a wook.

368
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,786
Oh, oh, uh, um...

369
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,790
- (WIND HOWLING FAINTLY)
- ♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

370
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,544
This is not Pasadena.

371
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,714
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

372
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,966
What the hell was that?

373
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,844
(LOW ECHOING RUMBLE)

374
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,805
♪ (EERIE CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

375
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:56,848
♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪

376
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,809
♪ (ROBOTIC RENDITION
OF THEME SONG PLAYING) ♪

377
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,979
<i>♪ Stuart tries
To reset our lives ♪</i>

378
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:05,982
<i>♪ But he fails
To save the universe ♪</i>

379
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:09,236
<i>♪ He's our only chance
And he tries and he tries ♪</i>

380
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:12,281
<i>♪ But he fails
To save the universe ♪</i>

381
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:30,423
<i>♪ Stuart tries but he fails ♪</i>

382
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,509
<i>- ♪ Fails ♪
- ♪ Fails ♪</i>

383
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:36,013
♪ (CHOIR VOCALIZING) ♪

384
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,191
<i>- ♪ Fails ♪</i>
- ♪ (THEME SONG CONCLUDES) ♪