1 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,777 Hey. 2 00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,645 So we saw the new billboard. 3 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,482 Yeah? Pretty cool, huh? 4 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:18,251 What better way to announce our new, slightly lower prices 5 00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:20,253 than with an ad campaign? 6 00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:22,555 And what better face for an ad campaign than 7 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,691 our new regional manager? 8 00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:26,092 How'd it look? 9 00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,861 - You've seen it, right? - No. 10 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:30,230 Andy, somebody defaced it. 11 00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,332 What? How? 12 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:34,668 Morning, Stanley. 13 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:38,872 There's this thing that 14 00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,408 people tend to do with billboards. 15 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,243 How do I put this? 16 00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,679 If there's an opportunity for a graffiti artist 17 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:49,883 to work in a... phallic shape, 18 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:53,319 interacting with the artwork, it'll happen. 19 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:57,290 And Andy... gave them that opportunity. 20 00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:59,426 Erin, how long did we order those billboards for? 21 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:01,294 - Six months. - Oh, God. 22 00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:02,696 I need you to call the billboard company. 23 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,264 Great billboard! 24 00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:06,166 Funny, edgy, right up to the line without crossing it. 25 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:07,133 Loved it. 26 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,902 - Which one did you see? - Washington Street. 27 00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:10,370 The one with like 20 dongs on it. 28 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,505 - Okay, don't be gross. - What's going on? 29 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,808 Somebody defaced the billboards we just put out 30 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,176 in an inappropriate way. 31 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,311 Oh, that's funny. 32 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,215 Wait. 33 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,583 From the photo shoot with you and me? 34 00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:25,151 Yeah, Dwight. 35 00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:28,455 No. No. 36 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:32,292 No! No! No! No! No! No! 37 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,494 No! No! No! No! No! 38 00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:36,830 No! No! No! No! No! 39 00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:39,432 No! No! No! No! No! No! No! 40 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,634 No! 41 00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:46,673 {\an8} 42 00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:53,780 {\an8}* * 43 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,226 {\an8}- Schrute Farms is very easy to find. 44 00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,261 {\an8}It's right in the middle of the root-vegetable district. 45 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,562 {\an8}If the soil starts to get acidic, 46 00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:10,930 {\an8}you've probably gone too far. 47 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,899 {\an8}- Just give us the address, we'll look it up online. 48 00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:14,834 {\an8}- It's simpler this way. It's really not. 49 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:16,903 {\an8}Just rip this into thirds. 50 00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:19,639 {\an8}The map's at the top. Invitation is in the middle. 51 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,207 {\an8}Parking pass is at the bottom. 52 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,809 {\an8}Put that on your dashboard, please. 53 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,745 {\an8}- Now, stated arrival time is 3:00 p.m. 54 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:26,880 {\an8}- I don't get the reason for this party. 55 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,381 {\an8}Yeah, what's the reason? 56 00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,417 {\an8}- What's the reason, Andy? What's the reason? 57 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,919 {\an8}- It's just a garden party. Sheesh! 58 00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,288 {\an8}You don't need a reason to throw a garden party 59 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:38,858 {\an8}any more than you need a reason to throw a birthday party. 60 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,728 {\an8}It's a garden party. You don't need a reason. 61 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,530 {\an8}A few other super simple reminders. 62 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:44,931 {\an8}No burping, no slurping, 63 00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,866 {\an8}when eating, take small bites and chew thoroughly 64 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,234 {\an8}with your mouth closed. 65 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:49,636 {\an8}Yes, Darryl? 66 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,271 {\an8}- What happens when we're done chewing? 67 00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:53,506 {\an8}Do we spit it out on the floor or keep it in our mouths 68 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:54,774 {\an8}the rest of the time? 69 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,409 {\an8}- I get it. I'm being a little overbearing. 70 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,944 {\an8}But I promise to be under-bearing for a week 71 00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,880 {\an8}if you guys just all...step it up. 72 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,415 {\an8}- Andy, we understand basic table manners. 73 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,551 {\an8}- We're not children. Yeah, it's just a picnic. 74 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,954 {\an8}- This is not a picnic, Phyllis. It's a garden party. 75 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,422 {\an8}- There's a grill in the warehouse I could bring. 76 00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:11,725 {\an8}- Ugh, please don't. Not a barbecue. 77 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,293 {\an8}It's better than a barbecue. 78 00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:15,829 {\an8}It's dignified, quieter, there are rules. 79 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,530 {\an8}- How is that better than a barbecue? 80 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,798 {\an8}- What is the dress code on this? 81 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,301 {\an8}- I'm glad you asked. Connecticut casual. 82 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:24,371 {\an8}- Any chance Connecticut casual is Pennsylvania business? 83 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,373 {\an8}I.E., this is what I'm wearing to your party. 84 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,708 {\an8}- Guys, my family just threw a garden party 85 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:29,909 {\an8}to celebrate my brother's promotion. 86 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,444 {\an8}It was a huge success. 87 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,880 {\an8}Check it out. There's a video online. 88 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:35,682 {\an8}Heart-warming impromptu father-son duet. 89 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,984 {\an8}Oh, yeah. 90 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,352 {\an8}- Yeah, Oscar, you've shown me this. 91 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,887 {\an8}- I've seen this. That's not you. 92 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,522 {\an8}- Yeah, whoa, who's the sausage? 93 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,024 {\an8}It's my dad and my brother. 94 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,625 {\an8}I would have joined in but this melody 95 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,995 {\an8}doesn't really support another harmony part, so. 96 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,130 {\an8}Check it out. That's my brother's boss. 97 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,732 {\an8}Look how psyched he is. He's having an awesome time. 98 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:56,770 {\an8}- Ah, and did Robert California get an invite to your party? 99 00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,371 {\an8}- Yeah, of course. Yeah. 100 00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,906 {\an8}I mean, yeah, I think he did. 101 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,441 {\an8}- Why didn't you just say 102 00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:03,843 {\an8}this was to impress Robert California? 103 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,613 {\an8}- I cannot believe that Andy is throwing a party like this 104 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:09,416 {\an8}just to impress the CEO. 105 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,084 {\an8}Classic Gabe move. 106 00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:14,087 {\an8}Hey, Andy, how about you don't steal my business strategies 107 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:18,024 {\an8}and I won't dress like my life is just one long brunch? 108 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,927 See you all there at 3:00 p.m., Connecticut casual, 109 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,029 remember your manners, and have a wonderful time. 110 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,098 And please refer to the map. 111 00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:28,802 Stay off of the web. Thank you. 112 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,904 So we've typed in the address. 113 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,939 Now let's take a look at the street view. 114 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,544 They don't warn you when the cameras are driving by. 115 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,611 Ah. 116 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,548 Why do you keep reading that garden party book? 117 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,917 I mean, how hard are finger sandwiches and tea? 118 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,785 There's so much more to it than that. 119 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,687 I've been wanting Schrute Farms to break into 120 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,956 the high-end event-hosting industry for some time, 121 00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,759 and this party is a great opportunity. 122 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,862 Plus, I've got a secret weapon. 123 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,031 Only one copy in the world... 124 00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,934 and some sucker on the internet sold it to me for $2. 125 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:04,838 I'm actually really disappointed 126 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,574 in how poorly my book is doing. 127 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,043 I've only sold one copy. 128 00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,879 I cannot believe how condescending Andy's being. 129 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,548 He gets condescending when he's nervous. 130 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,517 Or when he's excited or sleeping. 131 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,085 Not an easy person to be friends with. 132 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,620 Well, I just hate being treated 133 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,422 like some bum with no class. 134 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,558 I'm a lady. I'm a mother. I'm a former boxer. 135 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:26,960 Hey, guys. 136 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,762 Getting excited for the party? 137 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:32,565 Ryan, can I count on you to wear an understated satirical outfit? 138 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,634 Can't wait-- a faux-colonialist gathering 139 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,835 when unemployment's at 9%? 140 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,936 I wouldn't miss it for the world. 141 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,572 Awesome. 142 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,107 Stanley? What about you? 143 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,109 I am really looking forward to it. 144 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,111 Is it all right to bring a plus-one? 145 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,981 Yeah! Now that's the spirit. 146 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,916 That's what I'm talking about. 147 00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:51,651 I'm telling you, Stanley, don't bring her. 148 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,054 - I'm breaking up with my current girlfriend. 149 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,656 I like to break up with women in a public place, 150 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,024 like a restaurant. 151 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,993 But I also don't like to pay for a meal 152 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,528 that will not lead to sex, 153 00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,697 so this party is a great opportunity. 154 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,532 Is there anything you wish 155 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:07,934 you'd done differently to avoid cankles? 156 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,536 Nope. 157 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,905 I've already gone up another cup size. 158 00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,541 The senator is grossed out. 159 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,476 When do you start feeling it kick? 160 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:19,979 Cece was around 22 weeks, but Philip was much earlier. 161 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,581 Philip? 162 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,850 Oh, oh, my gosh! 163 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,686 Yes, but don't say anything, okay? 164 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,021 It's after my grandfather. 165 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,156 Philip is the name that we're using. 166 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,825 It's after my favorite cat. 167 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,661 Oh, wow. Funny. 168 00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:35,929 It's after my grandfather. 169 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,064 It's after my cat. 170 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,800 - Andrew, I've picked up two possible gifts 171 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:41,901 to bring this afternoon. 172 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,770 One, a pot of marmalade. 173 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,638 Oh, that sounds great. 174 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,474 - Well that--that is what you want then, the marmalade? 175 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,476 Sure. 176 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,011 - You don't want to hear the other one? 177 00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,480 You love marmalade? 178 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:54,848 I'll hear the other one. 179 00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,483 It's a basil plant! 180 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,687 You know, the marmalade sounds great. 181 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,256 - I also mentioned the marmalade to my sister 182 00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:04,824 and she's very interested. 183 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,559 Then, the basil will be fine. 184 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,794 - Well, you clearly want the marmalade. 185 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,564 Gretchen, I need another marmalade. 186 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,567 All right. 187 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,575 Hey, where do I park? 188 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,210 I'm the valet. You have to give me your car. 189 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,979 You know what, I can probably park it myself. 190 00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,247 You have to give me your car. 191 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,648 It's probably okay that I park it myself. 192 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:31,084 No, I think it's probably better that I-- 193 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,852 I'm the valet. You have to give me your car. 194 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,789 - It's a finicky car. - Get out of your car. 195 00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:36,756 Get out. 196 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,795 Have a good time at the...thing. 197 00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:43,063 It's a little tricky. 198 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,097 You might want to be careful-- 199 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:04,084 * * 200 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,286 Mr. Ryan Howard! 201 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,122 "Chapter two, announcing guests as they enter 202 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,990 "is height of decorum. 203 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,826 "The more volume displayed, 204 00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:16,029 the more honor is bestowed upon everyone present." 205 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:22,002 Stanley Hudson, and his mistress Cynthia! 206 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,971 James, Pamela, and... 207 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,140 P.P. Halpert! 208 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,711 Oh, oh, oh, Kevin. 209 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,714 I am reminded of a lame but useful saying 210 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:35,715 I learned as a kid. 211 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,617 What is the difference between hors d'oeuvres 212 00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,119 and the animals on Noah's Ark? 213 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,820 What? 214 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,789 With the hors d'oeuvres, we only take one at a time. 215 00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,758 Oh, okay. 216 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:48,194 What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a blonde? 217 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,167 Huh? 218 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,301 How's it going over here, guys? 219 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,637 Andy, stop hovering. You're being really annoying. 220 00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,206 Didn't mean to bother you, Mabel. 221 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,075 Mabel, Mabel, if you're able, 222 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,711 keep your elbows off the table. 223 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:09,349 Mr. and Mrs. Walter and Ellen Bernard! 224 00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,987 So you all work with Andy? 225 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:17,657 Well... technically for Andy. 226 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,959 Technically for Robert California. 227 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,228 He's our CEO. 228 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,330 I thought you were the CEO. 229 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,265 I don't know how you got there. 230 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,334 You said you were running the company. 231 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,369 This branch. I'm the regional manager. 232 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,872 - Yes. - Oh, that makes more sense. 233 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,708 Are you all regional managers? 234 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,743 - Did I throw this party to impress my parents? 235 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,678 That's crazy. 236 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,347 Now, if they wanted a garden party, 237 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,915 they could throw one themselves. 238 00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,950 Which, as a matter of fact, they did last week. 239 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,819 They threw one for my baby brother. 240 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,222 And it was totally amazing, but I couldn't care less. 241 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,260 Can I introduce you around now? 242 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,062 Uh, yeah, we don't have too long. 243 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,430 We have theater tickets. 244 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,865 What are you going to see? 245 00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,233 Moneyball. 246 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:05,005 - Walter Jr.'s choice. - Oh, there he is. 247 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,340 - What? - Bronard. 248 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,042 I didn't know you were going to be here. 249 00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:10,710 I wouldn't have missed it. 250 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,746 Okay. 251 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,382 Stanley. Cynthia is a delight. 252 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:18,451 We've been yacking it up like a couple of old hens. 253 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,387 How long has she been a physical therapist? 254 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:25,025 Don't go making any ties. I want a clean break. 255 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,731 Ah! 256 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,466 I'm Walter. I'm Andy's younger brother. 257 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,336 Oh, hey, how you doing? I'm Jim. 258 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,705 Tuna! Right? 259 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:41,741 And this must be your lovely wife, Pam. 260 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:42,976 - No. - Hell no. 261 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,745 - She wishes. - No, no, no, no, no. 262 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,047 No. 263 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,482 Sir, I need to be able to feed all of the guests. 264 00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:50,850 I understand. 265 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,719 Excuse me. 266 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,364 - "Chapter seven, the host should always 267 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:08,101 present something spectacular to draw the eye of his guests." 268 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,939 - When all this is over, I'd love to actually go 269 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,140 to go one of Trickington's parties. 270 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,376 They sound like a blast. 271 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,180 Ladies and gentlemen, 272 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,148 I present to you... 273 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,017 the Alamo! 274 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,198 Little Cece asleep? 275 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,100 Yeah, she just went down. 276 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:43,136 - Such a precious little angel. - Aw. 277 00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,938 - Cecilia. - Mm-hmm. 278 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,841 - And Philip. - Yes. After my grandfather. 279 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:48,942 Philip is wasted on you. 280 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,978 Jim is never gonna take the time to call him Philip! 281 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,014 "He doesn't even take the time to get a haircut. 282 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,315 And Phil! Ugh! 283 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,117 It's just something you do to a hole. 284 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,486 Well, I'm having my baby first, so that's that. 285 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,521 You know what? It could go either way. 286 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,456 My doctor said my hips are so dainty 287 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,325 that I'll almost definitely have a C-section, 288 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,926 so I could go early. 289 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,228 You think your doctor's gonna give you 290 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,796 a C-section at six months? 291 00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,398 Yeah! If I request it, he will. 292 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,966 And that is that. 293 00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:25,078 * * 294 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:48,468 "Chapter four, one of the host's most important duties 295 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,236 "is as dance master. 296 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:53,306 "A proper courtly dance sets the tone 297 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,308 for the entire afternoon." 298 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,945 * * 299 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,123 Ladies and gentlemen, 300 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:11,891 may I present... 301 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:16,463 R-R-Robert Califor-r-r-rnia! 302 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,634 Hello, Andy. 303 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,802 - Welcome. - Thank you. 304 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:26,973 Hey, I want you to meet my first bosses, Mom and Dad. 305 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,475 Yes, hello. Nice to meet you. 306 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,876 - Nice to meet you too. - Pleasure. 307 00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,345 Andy, where shall I put your basil plant? 308 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:35,015 Oh, I thought you were going to bring the marmalade. 309 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,917 No, I'm certain you said, "basil." 310 00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:42,956 Andy's memory has always been a little shaky. 311 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,425 Which reminds me, you did not send your brother 312 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,160 a gift for his birthday. 313 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:50,363 Yeah, I-I recorded "Happy Birthday" in four parts 314 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,564 and emailed it to him. 315 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,233 Ooh, boy. 316 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,335 How much did that set you back there, big spender? 317 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,170 For my brother's birthday, 318 00:13:57,203 --> 00:14:00,040 I took him to Cirque Du Soleil cirque spectacular "Love," 319 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:03,176 which was great. 320 00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:07,480 Not for everyone. You have to like the Beatles. 321 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,218 - Are you headed to the bar? - Always. 322 00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:17,624 Your brother--hint, hint-- is a Beatles fan. 323 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,060 "So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow 324 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:24,130 glazed with rainwater beside the white chickens." 325 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,634 William Carlos Williams. 326 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,603 This is not funny, man. Let me down. 327 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,238 I think this thing is broken. 328 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,306 It's not broken, Kevin. 329 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,641 This is how it works. 330 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,554 - My parents are used to a certain type of class. 331 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:50,490 The people that I work with are a different type of class. 332 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,625 One is not better than the other... 333 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:58,298 Just maybe one is a little higher than the other. 334 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,600 It's so pretty today. 335 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,036 It's getting chilly. 336 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,005 We really should be leaving. 337 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,173 Um, it'd be weird if the boss man 338 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,109 didn't make a toast, so hang on. 339 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,610 Everybody! 340 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,711 I just want to take this opportunity 341 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,080 to thank you all for coming, 342 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:19,519 and to raise a glass to my amazing staff. 343 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,054 Toasts are great. 344 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,655 I mean, you toast somebody, they toast you back. 345 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,990 It just goes round and round. 346 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,392 That's my favorite part about toasts. 347 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,027 The reciprocity. 348 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,462 Let's hear from you guys. Who do you want to toast? 349 00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:32,065 Yeah, I'll say something. 350 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,200 I think we should be acknowledging our boss 351 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,636 because none of us would be here without him. 352 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,304 Robert California. 353 00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,140 all: To Robert! 354 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,509 Yay, Robert! 355 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,678 - I cannot believe I didn't think of toasting Robert. 356 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,113 Get in the game, Gabriel. 357 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,215 Why are you talking to Stanley's mistress? 358 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,052 I'd like to make a toast to my deskmate, 359 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:55,355 who makes every day just a little bit brighter. 360 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,724 To Devon. Stand up, Devon. 361 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,292 Where are you, buddy? 362 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,661 Creed, Devon hasn't worked here in six years. 363 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,299 I would like to toast someone who isn't here, 364 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:09,135 but who will be in just four short months. 365 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:12,706 Welcome to the world, Philip Lipton! 366 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:21,448 I also would like to toast Philip Halpert... 367 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,049 who's due even sooner. 368 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:26,519 May he be a good namesake to my grandfather, 369 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,255 who I promised as a child, 370 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,725 long before tonight, 371 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,261 that I would one day name my son after. 372 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,663 To Philip Halpert. 373 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,099 all: To Philip. 374 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:43,069 She just always has to copy anything I do! 375 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:46,106 It's the Ford Taurus situation all over again. 376 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,607 Hey, I just wanna give a toast 377 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,309 to the non-pregnant women. 378 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,114 Our personal issues, like, everybody's issues. 379 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,749 We just kinda keep it to ourselves 380 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,150 and don't bore people with, like, 381 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,085 what we're gonna name our baby. 382 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,720 'Cause nobody cares. 383 00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:02,088 So to the non-pregnant women, thanks a lot. 384 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,023 - Whoo-hoo! - Hear, hear. 385 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,558 I'd like to make a toast to the troops. 386 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:06,793 - Hear, hear. - Yes. 387 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,628 All the troops. 388 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,063 Both sides. 389 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,667 I think we should toast-- 390 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,736 Ladies and gentlemen, The Last Supper. 391 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:25,145 "Chapter nine, the tableau vivant is not only welcome, 392 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:30,183 but expected entertainment at any garden party." 393 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,252 Stanley, I'm taking the car. 394 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,688 And I'm gonna call your wife and explain 395 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,290 why she needs to pick you up. 396 00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,892 you. 397 00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:42,495 I told him it was a bad idea. 398 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:46,433 Andy, I think that we should acknowledge the man 399 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,669 who has led us to such a profitable quarter. 400 00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:51,604 To Robert California! 401 00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,406 all: To Robert. 402 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,276 I would also like to toast Robert California. 403 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,043 Mr. California-- 404 00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,380 You can't triple-toast somebody! 405 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,682 I mean, at least not until we've hit everyone once. 406 00:18:02,716 --> 00:18:03,850 I'll say a few words, 407 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,453 if that's all right with you, Andy. 408 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,454 Yeah, yeah. 409 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,692 You people say I led you. 410 00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:15,295 But it wasn't me. 411 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:19,165 You want to toast the man who led you to success. 412 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:22,268 But the boss is irrelevant. 413 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:23,703 Andy and I produce nothing. 414 00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:25,438 We do nothing. 415 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,308 We sit in our offices and demand, 416 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:31,211 "I want this and that, right now," 417 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,479 like petulant children. 418 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:36,883 You know the difference between a crying baby and a manager? 419 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,551 One day, the baby will grow up. 420 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:45,759 But without you, Andy and I would be sitting in our 421 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:50,463 dirty diapers, waiting for someone to change us, wipe us. 422 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:54,434 I should be toasting you, thanking you for allowing me 423 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,505 to have the easiest job in the universe. 424 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,774 Cheers. all: Cheers. 425 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,609 To Robert California. 426 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,711 From the moment you entered our building and our hearts-- 427 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:09,849 Some of you know that we have an internet star in our midst. 428 00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:14,621 Mr. Walter Banes Bernard Sr., please report to the stage. 429 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,822 I'm eating, Andy-- 430 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,191 Aw, come on! 431 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,697 Okay. 432 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:24,831 - Yes! - What do you want to do? 433 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:28,234 Well, how about one of our classic father-son duets? 434 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:31,438 Oh, whoa, you sure? 435 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,939 Really? That's-- 436 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,275 that's a little tricky. Okay. 437 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:43,016 * Saying I love you, is not the words-- * 438 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,551 - It's too high. - Yeah? Right? 439 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:45,919 It's high, but it's not that high. 440 00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,454 Right, it feels strange. 441 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,689 Just take it down. 442 00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:51,825 * Saying I love-- * 443 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,260 - * Saying I love you-- * - You know, just give it-- 444 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,562 - just give it to me. - Yeah. 445 00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,797 Yeah. Okay! 446 00:19:57,831 --> 00:20:02,002 Uh, something like... 447 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:05,271 * Saying I love you * 448 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,473 both: * Is not the words-- * 449 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,407 You don't come in yet. 450 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,377 * I want to hear from you * 451 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,613 * It's not that I want you * 452 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:18,618 both: * Not to say but if you only knew * 453 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,454 * More than words * 454 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:26,026 * Is all you have to do to make it real * 455 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,862 Is anyone filming this? Seriously? 456 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,330 Erin! 457 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,499 Yeah, it's either taping or calling. 458 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,935 both: * What would you do * 459 00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:40,040 * If my heart was torn in two * 460 00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,575 You know what? Walter Jr. Is here. 461 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:43,943 Why don't you come up and join us? 462 00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:45,478 Nah, come up and do something with me. 463 00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,880 I don't know, pops. I'm just having a good time 464 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:47,947 getting to know Andy's friends here. 465 00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:50,583 Get up there and sing or I will cut your larynx 466 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,052 and you'll never be able to sing again. 467 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:53,687 Whoo! Come on! 468 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,324 Come on. 469 00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,593 This old thing. Man, I don't even-- 470 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,729 both: * May the good lord be with you * 471 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:07,567 * Down every road you roam * 472 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,769 * And may sunshine and happiness * 473 00:21:09,803 --> 00:21:14,474 * Surround you when you're far from home * 474 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,711 * And may you grow to be proud * 475 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:21,381 * Dignified and true * 476 00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:24,451 * And do unto others * 477 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,387 * As you'd have done to you * 478 00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,522 Cheers! All right! 479 00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:30,724 What are you doing there, buddy? 480 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,359 What's going on? 481 00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,327 Cheers, cheers, cheers. Get your own guitar. 482 00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:41,501 - If you'd like to make a call... 483 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:43,470 - Sorry. - Please hang up and try aga-- 484 00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,100 I am so cold. 485 00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:16,036 That's because you didn't bring a jacket. 486 00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:19,673 My first love is beet farming, but it's a young man's game. 487 00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:21,408 Whoever heard of an old beet farmer? 488 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:23,443 Forget the beets. 489 00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:26,146 Concentrate on the hosting. 490 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:29,015 I can spend a considerable amount of money 491 00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:30,750 having my birthday party here. 492 00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:31,751 Oh, really? 493 00:22:31,785 --> 00:22:33,520 Well, we have a number of birthday packages. 494 00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,922 The pewter package has the least amount of goats. 495 00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,023 It's not no goats. 496 00:22:37,057 --> 00:22:38,591 Still 10 to 12 goats 497 00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:39,726 depending on the availability of the goats. 498 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:42,495 Now, the goat package obviously has the most goats. 499 00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:43,630 What were you thinking? 500 00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:47,701 Of course I am not interested in goats. 501 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,035 Why would you spend so much time 502 00:22:49,069 --> 00:22:52,505 going over the goats with me? 503 00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:55,108 I can get you exotic meats. 504 00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:58,111 Hippo steaks, giraffe burgers. 505 00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:00,113 We'll talk. 506 00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:06,519 It'll all be goat. 507 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,188 Hello, Cece Halpert? 508 00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:09,756 This is Andrew Bernard. 509 00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,624 I'd very much like to speak with you 510 00:23:11,658 --> 00:23:15,095 about your paper supply needs. 511 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,732 That wasn't even my worst sales call. 512 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,468 Hi. 513 00:23:24,104 --> 00:23:27,240 What was that display? 514 00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:30,243 I don't know. I just thought... 515 00:23:30,276 --> 00:23:32,212 if I could throw this great garden party 516 00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:35,015 and show you how respected I am, 517 00:23:35,048 --> 00:23:37,183 that you'd be proud of me. 518 00:23:37,217 --> 00:23:39,119 - Andrew. - I know. 519 00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:41,221 I know that you're proud of me. 520 00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:42,889 I'm not going to tell you how impressed I am 521 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:47,694 that you're a manager of some rinky-dink branch 522 00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:50,697 of a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. 523 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:54,100 How long are you going to go on needing my approval? 524 00:23:54,134 --> 00:23:55,368 You're a grown man. 525 00:23:55,402 --> 00:23:57,537 Don't act like a little boy who needs-- 526 00:23:59,039 --> 00:24:00,674 - I think if I had parents like that, 527 00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:02,242 I'd be trying to convince everyone all the time 528 00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:03,677 how great I was too. 529 00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,111 Guess we found Andy's Rosebud. 530 00:24:05,145 --> 00:24:06,579 Rosebud? 531 00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:07,580 It's a reference to Citizen Kane. 532 00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:08,715 It's something that explains 533 00:24:08,748 --> 00:24:10,917 why a person became the way they are. 534 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:11,918 I know Citizen Kane. 535 00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:15,722 Rosebud didn't explain why he was how he was. 536 00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:17,290 It just represented what was important 537 00:24:17,323 --> 00:24:19,059 to him as a child that he missed. 538 00:24:19,092 --> 00:24:21,061 That school of thought-- let's just agree to disagree. 539 00:24:21,094 --> 00:24:23,530 No. You're wrong. 540 00:24:23,563 --> 00:24:25,131 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 541 00:24:25,165 --> 00:24:26,866 I'm too hot anyway. 542 00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:29,736 My body has somehow become acclimated to Southern Italy. 543 00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:30,937 Isn't that strange? I've never been there. 544 00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,040 - Oh! - Yeah. 545 00:24:34,074 --> 00:24:35,975 Ah, well...yes. That's nice. 546 00:24:36,009 --> 00:24:39,245 Thank you. 547 00:24:39,279 --> 00:24:41,114 It was a nice party. 548 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:43,016 Uh, setting was a little strange. 549 00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:44,551 The food-- 550 00:24:44,584 --> 00:24:46,052 Sandwiches were dry. 551 00:24:46,086 --> 00:24:48,288 Just awful sandwiches. Uh... 552 00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:49,956 people were colorful. 553 00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,224 They're colorful people. 554 00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:52,892 Yeah, colorful is the word. 555 00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:56,062 It was very...Andy. 556 00:24:56,096 --> 00:24:58,565 Bye, Tuna! Bye, Pam! 557 00:25:06,940 --> 00:25:09,843 Hey, everybody. I'm going to leave. 558 00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:12,312 And I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. 559 00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:14,280 Cheeseburger or hamburger? 560 00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:20,954 Um, cheeseburger? 561 00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:22,789 Nard-dog. 562 00:25:26,026 --> 00:25:26,960 Thanks, Oscar. 563 00:25:32,132 --> 00:25:39,239 * * 564 00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:46,246 What are they doing? 565 00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:48,848 Closing ceremonies. 566 00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:50,684 Nice touch. 567 00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:09,903 I think I left my wallet in your house. 568 00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:11,304 Who cares? 569 00:26:11,338 --> 00:26:12,305 Right here. 570 00:26:12,339 --> 00:26:14,774 Mr. James Halpert! 571 00:26:14,808 --> 00:26:17,143 - Keys, forgot my keys. - Stop forgetting things. 572 00:26:17,177 --> 00:26:18,311 I didn't forget them. They're right here. 573 00:26:18,345 --> 00:26:19,646 That was stupid. 574 00:26:19,679 --> 00:26:23,883 Mr. James Halpert! 575 00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:26,886 So sorry. I forgot that thing. 576 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,988 Idiot. 577 00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:29,989 Whoo. 578 00:26:30,023 --> 00:26:31,124 Mis-- 579 00:26:33,193 --> 00:26:34,761 Mi-- what are you doing? 580 00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:35,862 Hey, I have a question. 581 00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:37,297 Who do you think is really 582 00:26:37,330 --> 00:26:38,431 the best salesman in this office? 583 00:26:38,465 --> 00:26:39,866 That's a stupid question. 584 00:26:39,899 --> 00:26:43,636 Obviously m-- Mr. James Halpert!