Downloaded from YTS.MX
♪
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
- [chuckles] I've been walking, talking, walking, all right?
♪
[upbeat music]
- [sighs] Okay.
I cannot seem to find this.
State Street.
[beeping]
[camera shutter clicking]
Okay, that's State Street.
[camera shutter clicking]
Um.
I think you kind of need my permission to take my photo.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
- They're used for limited, nonprofit and education.
- I think you should check the law on that.
- That's on Van Ness.
- What is?
- The law school.
Right between those two trees.
- Those two buildings?
- Yeah, if you go down there and bust a right.
- Right next to the green building?
- Yeah. - Yep.
Yep.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Wow.
Uh, let me guess, for limited, nonprofit, or educational use?
- No, that's for me.
Personal use.
- Well, what are you studying, Mr. Peter Parker?
- [chuckles] It's Dennis.
And I'm studying to be an engineer.
I also work for the school newspaper.
- I'm Anna.
- All right, Future Lawyer Anna.
Smile for me real quick.
Let me get one more.
Man, let me get two.
- [laughing]
[camera shutter clicking]
Smile, baby.
[laughs]
[upbeat music]
[light cheering]
[cheering]
- Do not forget that we have that thing with the partner
tomorrow night.
- All ready?
- Babe, I sent you a calendar reminder, clearly
that you did not check.
- Like the invites I sent you, right?
- You mean the ones about sex?
- Exactly.
- Well, I responded to mine.
- You responded with a meme talking about,
I like that for you.
- [laughs] I did like that for you.
Come on, babe, you know I just have tons and tons of work
and I'm kind of stressed about making
a good impression tomorrow.
- Yeah, I'm stressed, too.
So since we stressed together, let me stick this stress off.
- Don't. Do not do that.
- Oh, here you go. - No.
No, here you go.
You're about to give me some random scientific fact
that clearly only the boys learned in school.
- But studies have showed that--
- That orgasms release 400 times more prolactin.
- Yes. And it makes you tired--
- It makes you tired.
- --and rested and sleepy--
- It makes you rested and sleepy, and all the things.
- You know.
You know.
So let's-- - Listen, babe.
- What?
- Let me get through this party tomorrow night--
- Huh?
- --and I promise you, me and you is pound town, okay?
Okay?
But until then, mama got to go to sleep.
- You mo--
- [sighs] I'm so tired.
- My dick's still hard, though.
- That's okay, baby.
It'll go to bed.
- All right, go.
- Yo, D, did you text me your fantasy pics?
- Oh, yeah, man.
I forgot.
I did text it, but I forgot to press Send.
You know how it'd be.
- You know, I'm really starting to feel like you don't
take this league serious, man.
- Here we go.
- Bro, what is you talkin' about?
I've been taking this serious since we first
started working together.
- Do you really want to have this conversation?
- I don't.
- Man, what done crawled up your ass, bro?
- Probably Vera.
- Yo, leave my wife out of this, man.
- Are you talking about your ass or this conversation?
- Look, I'm just saying, we're all married,
but we find time to commit to shit together.
- Hey, hey, tell the truth, yo.
How long has it been?
- How long has it been since what?
- Since Vera gave you some ass.
- It's all right. It's a safe space.
It's okay.
You can say it.
- Man, it's been about three months, y'all.
- See, you a lucky man.
- I'm lucky? - Hell yeah.
You and Anna still get to do all
the exciting shit, the exotic trips fucking,
and the balcony fucking.
Yeah.
Like, if you real excited, like you can
hit it in the Starbucks bath--
- [crying] She won't even let me look at it.
I can't suck her titty or nothing, man.
- All right.
- I don't see why you guys don't have the same thing.
- Hey, hey!
- I'ma-- I'ma-- - Hey.
- Yo, are you fucking kidding me, dawg?
- Hey, don't say no shit like that to him.
There's no vagina strength.
Feel superhuman.
Here, watch some porn or something.
- Knock his ass off with this goddamn pool stick.
I don't give a fuck how big he is.
- Here, man, watch some porn or something.
- Calm down. Shit.
My bad.
- Just cherish these moments, all right?
So once you have kids, that shit is a wrap.
- Mm-hmm.
And the cooch becomes no man's land.
- Nah, that shit is bad.
Like, Sahara Desert dry, bro.
It's nothing. Nothing out there.
- Well, we haven't really even talked
about kids, to be honest. - Good.
Don't bring that shit up either, because when
she gets that itch--
- It's the end of everything.
- --it's over.
You are a lucky man.
And it could be like that.
- If you say so.
- Hold it, man.
Keep it turned towards you.
- You ever let your girl take you in the booty?
- Come on, man.
[serene piano music]
[chatter]
- You seem nervous, babe.
- Yeah. - I don't mind.
It's a big night, huh, ain't it?
- Yeah. - So, babe--
- What? - --do me a favor?
- What's that?
- None of your bad jokes.
- None of my bad jokes?
What's wrong with my jokes?
- You know your jokes a little nuanced.
- My jokes are a little nuanced?
- Yeah.
- I am hilarious, though.
- Yes, at home without an audience.
Okay, babe, I am going to go speak to the partners.
- All right.
I'm gonna speak to these beers.
- Okay.
- Anna! Oh, my God.
We were just talking about you.
- All good things, I hope.
- You impress so far.
- Oh, well, cheers to that.
[chuckles] I was taking a look at the Holborn case,
and it might be worth suggesting
that they move the London offices to Frankfurt.
Word is that Germany is gonna be offering even further tax
concessions for fintech.
- Not even on the account, and she's
using initiative to expand her purview for our company.
You are gonna go far, young lady.
- Yo. What up, cuz?
- You gang gang?
- You know it.
- [chuckles] What are you claiming?
- You must be Anna's other half.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that's who I am, Dennis.
- Right, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
I just realized, this is your first company party.
- Yeah.
- You know what you got to do, right?
- Not embarrass my old lady Anna.
- [chuckles] No, man--
- What?
- --you got to jump in the pool.
- Who?
- Well, I mean, it's either you or Anna.
- Man, get out of here.
I know you're playing.
I ain't even listening to that.
- No, no, no, I'm serious.
It's like an initiation, you know?
The partner of a new employee has to show their support.
- Ain't nobody doing nothing like that.
- Hey, Ken, what did you have to do here
on your first company party?
- Jump in the pool.
Made my wife partner.
- What?
- You see.
It's what you've got to do, man.
I mean, if you really want to support Anna.
- I'm here to support her.
That's the whole point. - Okay.
And you don't want her looking for upgrades, do you?
- [scoffs] Come on.
Now ain't nobody upgrading better than me.
- Well, it's time to get in that pool.
[upbeat music]
[splash]
- [laughs]
Oh, shit.
- Was that your husband that just jumped into the pool?
- Uh, is it?
Is it my-- I don't know, I don't wear glasses.
I-- [sighs]
- That's your husband.
- Okay.
Sorry, sir, that's the love of my life.
[whispering] Seriously, you couldn't just behave yourself.
You had to embarrass me.
- In my defense--
- [NORMAL TONE] There is no defense, Dennis.
[camera shutter clicking]
- Oh, I like that.
Put your hand on your hip for me?
Yeah, right there.
- Yeah, I think it's about over.
I done messed this all the way up.
- Why?
- I humiliated the shit out of her, man.
- Oh, bro, you've done 10 times worse, homie.
- Easy for you to say, you doing your hobby.
- Look, man, I'm just saying, if she wanted to divorce you,
she would have done a long time ago, bro.
- So I'm paranoid?
- Again, you humiliate the shit out of her on a daily basis.
- Hurtful, man.
Hurtful.
- Look, you remember that time that you sent her grandma
a dick pic by accident?
- Yeah, I regret it to this day because she keep texting me.
- Uh-huh.
And the other time that you wanted to impress her so you
competed in a nacho contest?
- Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
- Yeah, but we didn't.
You're lactose intolerant, man.
You shit all over yourself.
[farts]
- Excuse me. Anyway, I just farted.
- Look, man, I say all that to say,
your relationship is a lot stronger than you think.
- So you think I should make it up to her?
- That's so sweet. - Thank you.
- Okay, well, hold up.
Hold up.
What you got in mind?
- Like flowers, candy, doin' you know.
- Boo.
That's so basic, bruh.
You want to be a little more adventurous.
Try something more spontaneous.
- But don't you spontaneously fuck this shit up, man.
- How can I do that?
- You do it every day.
Turn around for me?
Yes.
[upbeat music]
[typing]
- Oh, gosh.
[phone ringing]
[phone tolling] - Ouch, ouch.
That's just too tight. Too tight.
- Hey, boo. - Hey, busy bee.
Are you going to Connie's shower tonight?
- [groans] Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that's later today.
Shit.
- I know that queen of the calendar invite
didn't forget some shit.
- [laughs] No, it's just been a long two weeks, okay?
Yeah, but I'll be there.
Are you going to be there?
- If you're asking me to celebrate the fact that there's
a tiny parasite that's sucking every essential nutrient out
of her body, then fine, I guess I will.
But that's a little too fluffy.
- Hello?
Ava, what are you doing?
- In the middle of a photoshoot.
But the question is, will there be any fine men?
- All right, girl, bye.
You've wasted enough of my billable hours.
I'll talk to you later.
- Mm-mm.
Flip this up a little bit?
Okay, Tom, are we going?
Are we ready?
[upbeat music]
- I think it's strange Monica is here.
- Girl, don't start.
- I'm just saying, she dated Connie's husband in college.
- Come on, they didn't exactly date.
- Exactly. - [laughing]
- You are busting it wide open for my man in college
and now you're hugging me at my baby shower?
I mean, I could never.
- Wait, didn't you sleep with Robert in college, too?
- Bitch.
This is not about me, okay?
Stay on subject. - [laughs] Okay.
- I'm hearing some things.
I don't know.
I don't know if he really wanted it
or Connie kind of coerced him.
I'm hearing she did something like with a turkey baster.
I don't know what happened.
But I'm worried. I'm concerned.
I mean, she looks beautiful.
She does look really, really cute.
- Buzza!
Let's go, baby!
[cheering on television]
Let's go!
What's up, babe?
You good?
- Uh, yeah, yeah.
I'm good.
Who's playing?
- Jacksonville and Buffalo.
And we winning.
[laughs] I mean, yeah.
You-- you all right?
Talk to me.
What's wrong?
[television clicks off]
- I think I want to have a baby.
- [speaking French]
- [chuckles] I think I want to have a baby.
- You think?
- I know I want us to have a baby.
- But I thought you was gonna wait till you become partner?
- Well, I changed my mind.
- Well, what about our five-year plan?
- I also changed my mind.
- How are we gonna live our best life?
- Objection! - Overruled.
- [sighs] I knew I shouldn't have gave you that stupid
DVD box set of Boston Legal.
[mumbling]
- It's that goddamn baby shower, wasn't it?
- Well, I mean--
- I knew it. - A little bit.
But I'm a free thinker.
You would have had to have been there.
You would have got fever, too.
I mean, a full on migraine, okay?
And she was glowing.
Everybody was happy to see her, to see her fat belly,
her cute little sausage toes.
It was so sweet.
- Damn, baby fever.
I knew.
You caught up with the baby fever.
- I-- I don't know, babe.
I feel like it's deeper than that, okay?
I-- I don't know. It--
- What else could it be?
Like, we're happy.
What else do we need?
- I just feel like having a baby will add something
amazing to our lives.
- Isn't our life amazing now?
- Yes, our life is amazing, babe, but as husband and
wife, right?
Come on, the plan is to eventually go
from husband and wife, move to the next phase.
I feel like in my heart that the time is now, babe.
It's gonna be exciting, don't you think?
- I want to have a baby.
- Oh, great.
- But-- but--
- But?
- I just feel like we got a lot more stuff to do.
We got to really live our life.
Like, I got so much other things I want to do with you.
- Okay, babe, like what?
- Like, romantic walks on the beach.
You know I'm like-- like I want to play the violin for you,
you know?
I want to skydive, shit like that, you know?
- Dennis, you don't want to do any of that.
- All right, you right.
I don't even do shit like that.
I mean, but for real, I do want to do some stuff.
- Hey, listen, you have my ear, okay?
So on some real, what kind of things
do you feel you want to knock off your list
before having a baby?
- Exotic trips with you.
- Okay.
- You know, we go on a yacht, you know
the mega yacht vibe like that.
You know, threesomes and shit.
- What?
What was-- run it back.
What was the last?
- Threesomes.
- Three-- like, 1, 2, 3?
[laughing]
Uno, dos, tres?
[laughing] Threesomes, you're funny.
- That ain't funny.
- That is hilarious.
Babe, you've never, ever mentioned
threesome ever in your life.
What are you talking about?
That is disgusting.
[laughing] Ew.
[whispering] Oh, you're giving me the serious face.
You for real?
- Man. - Oh.
Oh, babe. Babe, come here.
Come here. Don't-- don't walk away mad.
Come on, text me.
Text me an invitation to sex, babe.
Come on.
[whispering] Fuck, I was so close.
[music playing] ♪ I need a dime to find
- A baby? Shit.
- Told you.
- That God damn baby shower gave her baby fever, Mike.
- Told you. - Told you.
- I ain't got time for that.
I mean, I want a baby, but not right now.
I got other things--
I want to live my best life.
- Told you. - Told you.
- Y'all told me, too, bruh.
That shit crazy. - Bruh.
- Of course, we told you this was gonna happen.
- Man, it always happens.
- Hey, now, what concessions did you ask for?
- Concessions? - Yes, sir.
She wants your baby batter.
- Nast-- you nasty as hell, man.
I ain't got time for that.
- What concessions did you ask for?
- I mean, well, I asked for more exotic trips, more sex,
you know like, we gonna watch porn here and there.
- Boo!
- Boo.
- Look, when Vera wanted our first child,
I got a pool table, dawg.
- Yeah, this is a nice pool table.
- Damn right.
- Took two kids get the man cave.
- Look, your baby batter has value, kink.
- Get something out of it.
- Man, I asked for a threesome.
[record scratches]
- Okay.
Go on.
- I asked her for a threesome.
- Okay, and what she say? - She laughed.
- Aw, man.
- Bro, you need to lock that in,
like, immediately with that.
That is clank, clank.
That's got to happen like-- that's like the unicorn of all
asks for a married man.
- It's better than, like, a pool table and a man cave man?
- Man, fuck that pool table.
Sex with your wife and another nasty--
- Dirty. - --gutter-ass chick?
Bro, that's the ultimate flex.
- So should I ask for a threesome again?
- Hell, yes.
- Yes, man!
- [yawning]
[upbeat funk music]
- There go my baby.
[chuckles] Hey, boo.
What?
What's this?
Oh, we roleplaying?
You Olivia Pope and I'm the person she trying to get out?
- Please have a seat, sir. - Right here?
- Mm-hmm.
- Where you get this '80s briefcase from?
They don't even make them, no--
oh, you're taking it serious.
What is this?
- That is a contract.
- A contract?
For what?
- Well, we are two parties who seemingly
want different things.
I want a baby.
You want a threesome.
So I have just a few concessions.
- Wait a minute, you're trying to take away the Jaguars?
Nah, you can't do that.
- No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm not taking away anything.
See, the contract simply outlines a list of chores
that I would like to see done around the house.
Now, of course, any deviation from said list, then, yes, that
takes away not only the threesome,
but your precious football for an entire year.
- But there is a threesome, right?
There will be a threesome.
- Sir, I would suggest you direct your attention
to the list of chores that I need to facilitate
said threesome. - Where is it?
What part I looking at?
- Well, we've got tabs A through C.
- "Clean the gutters."
- Babe, I feel you're skimming and not reading.
- "Cut the grass."
"And pray daily." I got it.
Where do I sign?
- I would strongly suggest you read the clause, hon.
- Let me look-- let me look one more time.
Let me look.
- That's skimming. That's-- no.
- Nah, I can read fast.
- Okay.
It's like short circuit.
- I went to school, too. - Okay, you're playing.
Here. Fine.
Go ahead.
I need you to-- yep, last page. Sign here.
Initial there.
And signature there.
- Hey.
[laughs] Let's get to fucking.
Come on, babe.
[banging]
- [yelping]
They shooting?
What?
Oh.
[yelps]
[banging]
What is that?
What is that noise?
It is too fucking early.
Ah!
Dennis!
[shouting]
- Oh, what's up, sugar?
- What are you doing?
- Item number 3, rebuilding the cabinets in the kitchen.
- What?
[screaming]
- What? That's what you asked me to do.
I'm doing what it say in the contract.
Now, let me be.
- Look, I know what I said, I wrote the list, okay?
[banging]
Dennis!
Why are you doing it right now?
Why are you doing it so early?
- Because if I knock it all out right now,
I can have it all done in a few weeks.
[rhythmically banging]
[hammer clatters] [music playing]
♪ Hey, hey
♪ Let's go
♪ Hey
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
♪ Let's go
♪ Hey, hey, hey
♪ Let's go
♪ Hey
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey
♪ Uh-oh ♪ Let's go
♪ Put your hands up ♪ Let's go
♪ Put your hands up
♪ Let's go
[phone ringing]
- [humming]
♪ Let's go
♪ Put your hands up
♪ Let's go Put your hands up
[upbeat music]
- Shit got in my eye.
Got in my eye.
Ah!
Shit.
[electricity zaps]
Whoa!
Whoa.
[groans]
[grunting]
Oh, boy.
- [groans] Fuck.
- This is perfect.
Okay.
It goes without saying how busy our next quarter is gonna be.
The Coleman Tobacco case around the corner, and all eyes
are on us as the Tomomoto account.
- We've got a darn good team, Dad.
Very capable lawyers under my leadership
that'll really rise to the occasion.
- I couldn't agree with you more.
That's why I'm gonna let Anna spearhead the Tomomoto account.
- Anna, Dad?
But I've personally handled the Tomomoto account
for the past five years now.
- And you have been great.
But I need you to concentrate on Coleman
and other high-profile cases we have coming in.
- But Anna?
- Is a highly capable asset to this firm.
And I'm more than confident in her abilities.
Anna, I've spoken with Nyoka Tomomoto,
and she's very excited to speak with you.
So do me a big, fat, personal favor.
- Yes, sir.
- Knock 'em dead. - You got it.
Thank you. I look forward to it.
Thank you.
- If there are no questions, that'll do it for me, Brad.
- No, sir.
Best of luck, Anna.
But we know you're gonna be great.
Oh, I think we should go over some things.
I know this client really well.
- I couldn't agree more.
[clapping]
[light applause]
- Thank you. Thank you, sir.
[mid-tempo western music]
- Hey, bruh.
We ain't seen you in, like--
- One month, 10 days, 13 hours and 27 seconds.
- Right.
- [chuckles]
[whimsical music]
[laughs]
Ha!
[sighs]
I did it. - Did what?
- Oh, woo.
God damn, boy!
You ain't been bathing, man.
You smell like chitlins and sweaty balls, dawg.
- Yeah, it's bad, bruh. - Fuck you.
- Nah, bullshit. - Shit bull.
I'll be damned. - My God.
- Pay respect.
- All right, hold on.
- Pay respect. - Please.
- How did you do this? - Come on.
- Teach us.
- Y'all don't deserve--
- Please teach us, man.
- Can you get my girl to do it, too?
- Y'all don't deserve--
- Can you get my girl to do it, too?
- I want, too. - Come on.
Come on. - Threesome.
- I hate-- I hate my life.
- I want a threesome. - What?
- I want a threesome. - Come on, what you want?
- I want a threesome. - I want one, too.
- Oh ♪ - Threesome ♪
- Do y'all deserve-- - ♪ Ooh, threesomes
- ♪ Yeah, yeah - Yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah, threesomes
- Do y'all deserve--
- ♪ Threesomes
- ♪ Yeah, yeah yeah, threesomes ♪
- Y'all don't deserve no--
- ♪ Hey, I want a threesome
- ♪ We want the threesome - ♪ I want a threesome
- ♪ We want a threesome - ♪ I want a--
♪ I want a--
- ♪ We want a threesome
- Get y'all ass up.
- A threesome.
I can't believe he finished that freaking list.
- I have to give it to him.
A man with vagina on the mind can move mountains.
- And apparently, bricks, lumber, and roof tile.
- Hey, it's not the worst thing, girl.
- What?
- You wanted a baby, right?
That is the main thing.
- I mean, yeah.
- Okay.
So this is what's gonna happen, okay?
At the end of the day, he's gonna turkey baste your cooch
with millions of swimmers.
Ah, ah, ah, listen. Listen.
And then you're gonna get a little moocher out
of this who's gonna look like both of you
and drain your bank in perpetuity.
- I actually look forward to the perpetuity.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's the threesome that I have questions.
- Oh.
Oh, yes.
Threesomes are fucking amazing.
[groans] Well, well, well, actually, no.
It does depend on who the two other people are.
And I feel sorry because you with Dennis's wack ass.
- Hey.
Any woman would love a threesome with me and my man.
- Mm, that's cute.
You standing by your wack ass, man.
- [scoffs] ooh, oh!
- Ooh, ooh.
You want to see one of mine?
- No, I'd actually like to just put on our pajamas
and continue our girls' night.
And why do you have a recording of it?
- Treasured memories.
Mm, oh, wait.
And let me give you some really good advice, okay?
- Okay.
- Are you ready for this?
- You never get good advice, but continue.
- You're such a hater.
Listen, this is important, Anna.
Do not let him pick.
Very important.
- Okay, wait, I did state
in the contract that I get to pick.
But, like, why? Is that-- is that a thing?
- Good. Yes. Oh. Oh, boo!
Here.
- I'm scared.
[moaning on television]
- I'm about to b--
[moaning] [moaning] Oh!
- Hold your mouth. That is nasty.
Mm-mm. - Girl.
- I didn't like that.
- That was like a drunk game of Twister.
But, you know when girls are in charge,
oh, it feels so much better.
- Ooh!
- Ooh.
Ooh, yes, you want to see?
Okay, you got to see this one.
- No, I'm good.
Just-- just-- just tell me why women are better.
Just explain it.
- Well, you know, because, well, we know how to do things.
Women like, we understand.
You know all this in-out, and like [moaning].
- Oh, this?
Is that what your men are doing?
- Am I lying? - Oh, poor thing.
- That is not how we define good sex.
See, you know, a lady.
Who knows a woman's body better than a woman?
- Ooh, I know, her gynecologist.
- Bitch. - What?
My gynecologist know me. - Okay, listen listen.
Anna, look.
I'm gonna tell you the truth.
You can let Dennis control this if you want,
but that's like letting a toddler
paint with mashed potatoes, messy, regretful,
and an un, unexciting, bitch.
- Okay, advice taken.
All right, but you gonna have to prove this to me
that you know what you're talking about.
How many women have you actually had a threesome with?
- [BRITISH ACCENT] Lots and lots.
- [BRITISH ACCENT] Oh, lots and lots?
- [BRITISH ACCENT] Lots and lots.
- [BRITISH ACCENT] Loads and loads.
- Some of the best sex ever.
Ooh, girl, - Girl, ew.
- I'm telling you, mm, they ain't nothing wrong
with a little carpet munching.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Okay, let me show you this.
This girl. Woo!
- Let me see.
Let me see what you talkin' about, 'cos-- oh.
- And don't knock it till you try it.
[moaning on television]
- Yes. Oh, and look at this.
Look, look, look. She's about to do that thing.
She's gonna squirt.
[screams]
[grunting in video game]
- Baby! - Oh, shit.
- Babe!
Ooh!
We are gonna have the best threesome ever.
- Ever, ever?
- The things I just learnt.
Okay, now I do have some conditions.
- Conditions, here you go.
- You know me.
- Wee, yay!
[upbeat R&B music]
♪ It might be my confidence
♪ Is it obvious
- Are you nervous?
- Very much so.
- Don't trip.
What do you think of her?
- Ooh, black dress?
Wouldn't say no.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She caught me-- she caught me staring.
- It's good.
She smiled You good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I think I'll go say something.
- [whispering] Baby, what are you doing?
Don't. Wait. Sit, sit, sit, sit.
- Oh, yeah, I forgot.
I forgot.
The contract states that you get to pick.
- Yes, I get to pick.
- Yeah, you get to pick.
- [whispering] okay, go for it.
Go for it. Go for it.
[NORMAL TONE] Just ask her who she voted for.
- All right.
- I'm okay.
♪ It might be my confidence
♪ Is it obvious
- Hello.
- My wife and I would like for you to come talk to us.
- That's your wife?
- Yeah.
- She's beautiful.
- Why don't you go say hello to her?
- Okay.
Thank you.
I'll be right back.
Thank you.
- You are so beautiful.
- Thank you. So are you.
- Thank you.
You know, my boyfriend was supposed to pick me up, but--
- But?
- You want to come hang with us.
Why don't you?
- Okay, so you guys are trying to have some fun, yeah?
- Mm-hmm. - I mean--
- I mean, yeah. - Yeah?
- Okay.
Well, I'm down.
Let's do it.
- You sure? - I am sure.
- Great.
- Let's do it.
[R&B music]
- Okay.
So I will be right back.
♪ I'm going to find out
- This way.
- Nice place.
- Thank you.
Nice dress.
[laughter]
- Thank you.
- It'll look even better if you take that thing off.
- Dennis.
- Yeah.
But yeah.
- Can I have a drink?
- You sure can.
What would you like?
- Whiskey.
- Whiskey?
Oh, I see what type of town you're on.
Yeah.
- But I can't stay too late, though, because I
have class in the morning.
- Oh, for real?
You go to the university?
Go Hogs.
- No.
- What, you nurse school?
Cosmetology?
Flight attendant?
- Go, Tigers. I'm a senior.
I go to Millville High. [record screeches]
- Whoa. - Nope.
- What the hell?
- Honey.
This is a productive mentorship meeting.
Get that back in there.
- No.
I'm 18, silly.
We can get this done in, like, 30 minutes.
Come on. - No, I'm good.
I don't want to go to jail.
You know, you get the Uber done in, like, 30 minutes.
You're going to be in the Uber.
Hurry up and get you back home, so you can go back to school.
[laughter]
Oh, would you look at that? the Uber's already here.
Let me get you up out of here.
What? - That's not an Uber.
That's my daddy. - Your daddy?
What you mean? - My daddy.
- Yo.
- I've been tracking your phone all night looking for you.
And you, you a dead man.
- No, no, no.
Daddy, daddy, you know what your parole officer said.
- Parole?
- Okay, he's got a bad knee, but you need to go.
- I'm going. - No, no, no, no, no.
[rock music]
- Daddy!
- What's that?
- Daddy. - Daddy?
- Yeah.
[whimpering]
You know, last night really wasn't that--
- Nope, not a single word ever about last night.
- But you got to think--
- Zip.
- You ain't give me--
- Zip.
- If that got--
- Bop, bop, bop.
- Peter Piper pick a--
- You trying it.
You trying it.
- If you hit me--
These ain't paid veneers.
I just got them put in.
- You better be happy this is almond milk.
- It better be because you know I'm lactose intolerant.
Or is it intolerant lactose?
You sure this isn't too much?
[whistles]
- I see you, Dinner Suave.
- I don't know.
I just feel like I take orders at a steak house.
I ain't overdressed?
- Well, babe, what are we supposed to wear, huh?
We got to embrace the culture.
You want us in T-shirts?
Some tracksuits?
- But this looks like a kid outfit.
- No. Babe, come on.
Trust me, you look amazing.
When it all comes together, the whole thing--
yeah. Come on.
Put your chest up.
There you go, babe.
And bring me a steak, porterhouse, medium well,
and a baked potato.
No, the pants don't make your ass look fat.
[salsa music]
[music screeches]
Oh, shit, babe.
Oh, shit. - Come on, now.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
We shut it down just now.
Come on.
Why y'all ain't dressed?
[sighs]
Y'all ain't fucking with it? - What's the faces for?
- We look good.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
- We might be.
[salsa music]
- Welcome.
- Hi.
I'm Anna.
This is my husband, Dennis.
- Oh. Maria.
- Big D. [laughter]
- Oh.
You have a strong handshake.
- You feel that?
- You must be very handy around the house.
- I do a lot of things with these hands.
I-- yeah.
But you know what I'm saying.
- Usually with our first timers, we like to pair up.
You have a dancer's body.
Have you danced before?
- This body?
My body?
Man, I took a class in, like, college.
It's just nothing.
- So you'll dance with me?
- Yes.
- And I'll pair you with one of my experienced dancers.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- I'm excited.
[laughter]
- I'll give you five minutes before you ask for a threesome.
- But after five, I'm good? Mm-hmm.
- All right.
- Six.
- Abuelita.
[upbeat music]
Dance with Abuelita.
Watch Anna and I, but try not to dance as hot.
- I'm good.
- No, no, no.
Salsa is a complicated dance.
She's an experienced dancer, but a little old and delicate.
- Oh, shit.
- I ain't no flower horse, so you
can dance as hot as you want.
- I'm good.
I don't-- I don't need to learn.
- Yes, baby. - No, I don't--
I'm good.
[salsa music]
- Come, baby.
Salsa dance is-- it's a dance that forces you
to explore your sensuality.
- That is definitely what we came to do.
- Then I will help you both.
- I'd like that very much.
[cracking]
- Help. - Oh, shit.
- My ankle.
- Help me up. - My ankle.
- Help. - My ankle.
- Shit.
- Oh, my ankle.
My ankle.
[sirens wailing] I hate you.
- You'll be all right. - [sobbing]
- She probably going to need a new hip and everything.
Hope she got the insurance.
She should be good, though.
What?
- You took out one of my best dancers.
- Tell me about it.
- You suck at dancing.
- That was the whole point of coming.
You're supposed to teach me.
- You must also know you are banned from my class.
- Banned?
What type of time you on?
Baby, she just banned us.
- I heard.
I heard.
- That's crazy.
Like, we just got-- she gon' ban both of us?
Like, that's crazy.
[clears throat]
- No, she is welcome anytime.
- Yeah, she wants you.
Did you at least get her number?
- Hmm? - Did you get her number?
- What happened?
- Was those dance moves even part of the lesson?
- Well, I don't think that the moves
you were putting on granny were AARP approved either.
- That ain't funny. - I laughed.
- No, you shouldn't. - You don't think it's funny?
- No. I'm banned.
She said you can stay. What I'm supposed to do?
- I don't know.
But next time, maybe lift from the core.
It's all in the core, babe.
- Let's go 'cause we ain't get no threesome.
- Okay. Wait. Wait.
You go over there, and you have a seat.
I'ma stay and finish my lesson. - Stay?
- Yes, thank you for coming and-- and supporting, but--
- This is a us thing. - I know, babe.
Just go grab your hat. Go grab your hat.
I'm going to work on getting you back in class.
Okay. Have a seat.
Olé! [laughter]
Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
- Don't fuck her without me.
[upbeat music]
- Hey Anna. Have you seen Sherry?
She was supposed to have that brief ready for me,
and I keep getting sent to voicemail.
- That girl, no.
But if I see her, I'll definitely send her your way.
- Oh.
And by the way, I just want to let you know,
I'm really sorry that you got taken off of the account.
- The Tomomoto account?
- You didn't know?
You know what? Forget I said anything.
You didn't hear it from me.
Nope.
- What the fuck?
[scoffs]
- Anna.
Can I help you with something?
I'm
- No longer spearheading the Tomomoto account?
- That's right.
- Was there something wrong with the work I've done on it?
- Not at all.
Brad's running point.
And he thought it'd be better if he just did it himself.
- Brad?
- Yeah.
Brad's had a close relationship with Tomomoto
since he clerked for me.
- So Brad just gets what he wants?
Sorry.
I should not have said that.
- No, that's an obvious thought you're entitled to have.
Brad said he asked you to connect with him so he
could bring you up to speed on some things, but you declined.
- Did he also mention--
never mind.
Excuse me.
- Let's get back to work.
What do you say, 140 grand on the small account?
[angry music]
- Hi.
Hi, Anna.
- Sherry.
Don't you have a brief that's due to edit?
- Yeah, I was just-- - Oh, were you?
You're just going to go clickity click?
- How are things?
- Why did you remove me from the Tomomoto account?
- Well, that client requires a special touch.
- A special touch that you don't think I have?
- No, one that requires a lawyer
to be professionally focused.
See, I tried to meet with you about the client's needs.
And you chose not to.
- Uh, rightfully so, Brad.
You're sitting here preaching to me about professionalism.
And I just caught you in here with Ed's secretary.
[scoffs] And jeez, my mouth is open.
Get some air freshener.
It stinks.
- Look.
Anna, we need lawyers around here to be laser-focused, okay?
You can't be caught up in the insignificant details
and the little people in your life
that like to jump into pools.
- Okay.
First off, my marriage is not an insignificant detail
in my personal life.
And what I do with it outside of this office
has no bearing on my job performance
and definitely should have zero interest for you.
- Look Anna, it is important that you know that me removing
you from this account had absolutely nothing
to do with you and that--
that little gremlin that likes to get wet.
What's his name?
- Dennis?
- That's the guy.
Yes.
- That guy, Brad, is my husband, okay?
- You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.
- Wow.
I will keep telling myself that.
And you maybe want to keep our name out of your mouth.
Brad, you're so bothered.
- What the heck are you talking about?
- Yeah, I feel like you're bothered because I'm
the only woman in this building who you have zero chance with.
I am married and in love with a man
who loves me back to the point that I
don't even see the pervert.
- Don't flatter yourself.
I've had significantly better.
- Oh. Yeah, okay.
Well, according to Lacey in accounting,
everyone's seen it, Brad.
Mm-hmm.
Everyone's had a little Brad.
And by little, I do mean little because I've seen the pictures.
I'm not impressed, Peewee.
[R&B music]
♪ Yeah
- Wait.
So you're telling me she was 18, R. Kelly?
- Man, and in high school.
- Yeah.
You did the right thing by getting her out of there, though.
- Tell that to my front door.
- No, you should have called the police.
- Dude was on his third strike.
I can understand where he was coming from.
- Oh, wait. So he's good?
- He slipped me this.
- Bro, why is there a naked tattoo dude on your phone?
- That's his boy toy in jail he said I remind him of.
- Say less. Say less. Say less.
- Nah, it ain't nothing.
It just keeps him off my ass, literally.
- All right.
♪ First thing I learned about
♪ How not to be chased
- What's this?
- Molly.
- What I need molly for?
- Dog, come on, man. Cut the shit, man.
- Y'all cut the shit.
I'm tired of this.
Listen, women love molly.
All right?
But whatever you do, do not eat before you take it.
It's something about them little pills that's, like,
baby laxative in it or something.
Oh, this too.
- What?
- This is-- hold on, man.
That's the address of this club my cousin was telling me about.
- Okay. - Oh, yeah.
Everybody there is 21 and older.
They do IDs.
And they're all young and hot as fuck like your wife, dog.
- What? - Huh? What?
- I don't know if Anna going to be with this.
- Oh, I am with that.
Yes, babe.
I am with that.
- So we really doing this, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
We in there like swimwear.
- We not using some type of lines.
You sound like a Auntie.
- Yeah, I came in--
- Don't use that--
- It's giving, auntie.
- Yeah.
You need to start looking at your memes better.
Yeah, you got to come with some new words.
- Give me some new words, babe.
- It's up. - What's up?
- It's-- - What's up?
- No, it's up.
- What's up?
- It's just-- just say it's up.
- It's up. - You overthinking it.
- It's up. - It's up.
Oh, my God.
You been in the courthouse too long, like--
Yeah.
♪ H-O-E-S I-N T-H-I-S H-O-U-S-E ♪
♪ Where the hoes? ♪ Bring them out
♪ Yeah, go on
♪ Make it bounce
♪ Make them send the cash
♪ Out there to your account
♪ H-O-E-S I-N T-H-I-S H-O-U-S-E ♪
♪ Where the hoes? ♪ Bring them out
♪ Yeah, go on
♪ Make it bounce
♪ Make them send the cash
♪ Out there to your account
♪ Hold up a minute
♪ Doing it slow from a distance ♪
♪ Now the crew Tokyo drifting
♪ Shorty got yams
♪ I don't care if it's from her mama ♪
♪ Or she been pumping syringes ♪
♪ Shout out to the surgeon
♪ Yeah, she brought her body to attract the boss ♪
♪ And it's working
♪ They offer in person, lots when she's twerking ♪
♪ Shakes like she's awfully nervous ♪
♪ If you married
♪ She's going to cause a disturbance ♪
♪ Cause your wife ain't a true freak ♪
♪ You brought your ring
♪ Nigga, you sleep
♪ She throw that thing like a QB ♪
♪ Three-step trap
♪ Wi-fi mother, mama need that WAP ♪
♪ I just took the Benz to the detail shop ♪
♪ My name bring the females out ♪
♪ We got some
♪ H-O-E-S I-N T-H-I-S H-O-U-S-E ♪
♪ Where the hoes? ♪ Bring them out
♪ Yeah, go on
♪ Make it bounce
♪ Make them send the cash
♪ Out there to your account
♪ I got the R-E-A-L--
[indistinct conversation]
- Where are we going?
- [indistinct]
- Oh, we good?
Say less.
[laughter]
♪ I said I live big baller life ♪
♪ She said is that baby yours? ♪
♪ I call it having a bag
♪ So turn up and ship me some mass because it's some ♪
♪ H-O-E-S I-N T-H-I-S H-O-U-SE ♪
♪ Where the hoes? ♪ Bring them out
♪ Yeah, go on
♪ Make it bounce
♪ Make them send the cash
♪ Out there to your account
- That's good, right?
♪ H-O-E-S I-N T-H-I-S H-O-U-S-E ♪
♪ Where the hoes? ♪ Bring them out
♪ Yeah, go on
♪ Make it bounce
♪ Make them send the cash
♪ Out there to your account
♪ Hold up a minute
♪ Do it slow from a distance
♪ Now the crew Tokyo drifting
♪ Shorty got yams
♪ I don't care if it's from her mama ♪
♪ Or she been poking syringes
♪ Shouts to the surgeon
♪ Yeah, she brought her body to attract the boss ♪
♪ And it's working
♪ They offering purses
♪ Lost when she's twerking
♪ Shakes like she's outwardly nervous ♪
♪ If you married
♪ She's going to cause a disturbance ♪
♪ Cause your wife ain't a true freak ♪
[laughter]
- He'll be here any minute. - Okay.
- And on a big boy truck.
Big boy truck.
Come on, now.
[cheering]
- Oh, here he come.
Here he come.
[overlapping speech]
- Yeah.
That's him.
Yeah, boy. - Ride for Dennis?
- Am I Dennis?
- Yes, baby. - Hey, I'm Dennis.
I'm Dennis. Come on.
I'm Dennis. I'm Dennis.
Come on, now.
Come on.
Open the door.
It's Dennis.
[screaming]
- Why is he in my car?
- Oh, Dennis, no!
[screaming]
- We ain't like that.
We ain't even like that.
Don't-- don't judge us.
Don't judge us by that little--
don't judge us.
Now get on in there.
[screaming]
Y'all already know.
Y'all so drunk.
Oh, it's up, baby.
It's up.
Let's ride.
♪ Let's talk about sex, baby
[laughter]
♪ I'ma lay you down like a baby ♪
♪ Before you even undress, baby ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ I done had had them all
- Nice.
- You enjoying the view?
- Yeah. ♪ Fresh man
♪ Not the one behind the sophomore ♪
♪ Room full of squares
♪ I'm stepping on them like they're tiled floors ♪
♪ In the place
♪ Ain't nothing change but the uniform ♪
♪ Got the smoothest charm
♪ Take them make them bring the crew along ♪
♪ She get to business every time ♪
♪ Her birthday suit comes on
[laughter]
- Okay. Yes.
- You have a zipper?
- Yes.
- Let me see your zipper.
- Okay.
Let's just-- let's go up.
[laughter]
- Babe.
Bring some bottled waters on your way up.
- Huh?
- Bring some bottled water on your way up.
- Bottled water? - Yes.
- Say less.
[laughter]
Yeah.
That's right.
[stomach bubbling]
Oh, shit.
- Listen, whatever you do, do not eat before you take it.
Something about them little pills
got, like, baby laxative in it or some shit.
[stomach bubbling]
- Oh, no.
Oh, no.
[suspenseful music]
[distant moaning]
[upbeat music]
[laughter]
- No way.
- Oh.
There he is.
We thought this was going to be a little bit different.
[laughter]
- So did I. So did I. The fuck?
- Let me know if you find the earring.
- Yeah.
I'll keep an eye out for it.
- Yes, then you can come by my shop.
First massage on me.
- Thank you.
All right, ladies, let me know when you get home safe.
- Okay. Yes.
- Bye, Dennis.
- Bye, motherfucker.
What she mean by come by your shop?
- Look, I promise that I will make it up to you.
I'll even set up the next.
We'll get, like-- ooh.
I know you like a woman who--
shoot, I got to pee.
Oh, no. Whoa. Whoa.
What is that smell?
Dennis?
What did you eat?
[groovy music]
What?
- A married lesbian.
As I live and breathe.
- Last night did not make me a lesbian, bitch.
- Mm-hmm. - Okay?
And you have done far worse.
- This is true. Yes.
This is very true.
But I am shocked and in awe.
And molly, bitch?
- Molly.
Why have I never met her before?
I mean, the molly--
- Was molly-ing.
[laughter]
- What I tell you?
What did I tell you?
- Oh, my girl.
It was so-- oh, it was so freeing.
I mean, just-- oh, every sensory motion, just
nipples tingling.
Girl, everything.
Everything.
- Okay, so what about Dennis?
He liked it?
- Uh, Dennis, he got sick. - Oh.
- Yeah, he couldn't-- he couldn't join us.
- Oh. Poor boo.
That's too bad.
- Let me find out you on Dennis' side.
- I am--I'm not on his side,
but the threesome was his idea.
- Well, technically, in the court of law,
it was a threesome.
There were three--
- Sh-- shut your lawyer ass up, okay?
- I know I'm going to need to make it up to him, but--
- But?
But what?
- I got to be honest.
I'm happy we didn't have a threesome.
- Ooh, girl.
You have definitely been around me too long.
That's almost devious. - No, no, no, no.
Don't get me wrong, okay?
It was a beautiful experience.
But the only thing that I want from my man is a baby.
- Okay.
I get that.
That's cute, But you're being selfish.
- No.
- Okay, three attempts at a threesome,
and the only one getting their toes curled is you?
The man signed up for a threesome, boo.
- And?
- So give him a damn threesome.
- I don't want to give him a threesome.
- Okay. All right.
- I want a baby.
- You're going to mess around and be a married lesbian
or lick long enough to become a villain.
Mm-hmm.
- Not you cursing me with my own villain story.
- Yeah.
- You don't worry about me over here.
Get that ice cream out your hair.
[laughter]
You so nasty!
[groovy music]
Hey, baby.
I'll try not to disrupt your work.
- But you are.
- You're still angry.
I think we need to talk.
- Oh, do we?
- Things have gone too far, you know?
I feel like we should just--
I don't know, start back from the beginning.
- Yeah? Anna before the threesome?
- That is not fair.
- But that's really what happened, right?
I mean, you got to experience the time of your life
by yourself.
You did, not me.
Am I lying?
- No, you're not lying.
But as I recall, you were really busy
doing something else.
- So what's really on your mind?
Are you coming down from the molly?
Because I've heard about those things.
I don't do them, but I've heard about them.
- I don't know, Dennis.
Maybe it has something to do with wanting to have a baby,
you know, like we talked about?
Starting a family, like we talked about.
- So everybody gets what they want?
- Oh, so you don't want a baby?
- I never said that.
- But having a threesome is more important to you.
- Anna, stopping putting words in my mouth.
I ain't say that neither.
- So that I'm clear, a threesome is what you really,
really, really, really, really want and need to happen
before we have a baby?
- I need a threesome.
Yeah.
I mean--
- Okay.
- I mean, that's what men need.
We need more than one.
It's only in America that that happens.
- Done and done, baby.
- All right.
- I'll listen.
- It's about time you listen.
- Oh, you wait.
You wait and watch what I do.
- Honor thy man.
It's like the fifth, sixth commandment.
In between, like fifth and a half.
- Oh, that's the new Bible.
[quiet music]
- May I help you?
- Sorry.
May I come in?
- Please don't.
- Why don't you like me, Anna?
I mean, I'm charming, rich, handsome--
- --arrogant, spoiled, womanizing.
- I was going to say lovably humble.
- You're a dick.
- Oh, come on.
- I'm so sorry.
You're a small dick.
- Look, I just came in here to ask you one question.
- What do you want, Brad?
- Why don't you like me?
- What do you want, Brad?
- Usually sex.
- Okay, that is sexual harassment.
- Oh, stop it.
I didn't mean with you, unless, of course--
- Okay, just get the fuck out of my office.
Come on.
Go.
- You newbies, you're all the same.
Rain check?
Oh.
And don't forget whose name is on those checks.
- You sure you won't let me forget?
- I won't.
- Fuck face.
Who would ever want to have sex with Brad?
[gags]
[upbeat music]
[phone ringing]
Hey, Eva, what was the name of that website you told me about?
- What the hell wrong with you?
Is you for real?
- Wow.
What's wrong with you, Dennis?
What's going on? What's the problem?
- What the hell you got me doing a threesome with a man?
- Okay.
You wanted a threesome, so I set one up for us.
- Yeah, you set up one for you.
That's a train.
- Well, I thought that's what you wanted.
- That ain't even legal.
- You don't want to have a legal debate with me, babe.
- Oh, you're gon' go there with me?
- I mean, I'm going there.
You signed on the dotted line.
- Who are you?
- Oh.
Look, Steven will be there tomorrow at 8:00, okay?
For our date.
- I ain't going.
- Well, you signed on the dotted line, babe.
There's choices and consequences to everything
in life, so make your choice.
- I don't believe you're going to do it.
- Yeah, we'll see.
- You're just joking.
You-- I ain't even going to trip.
- Just this.
[groovy music]
- So now, how many lawyers have you seen?
- None.
My friend said you was the cheapest--
I mean, best one.
- You've come to the right man.
Now, let me get this straight.
You say that your wife has been sexually harassing you?
- What?
No.
I just need my position strengthened.
Clause 17 messed with my manhood, and I can't have that.
- Oh, threesome with another party.
I caught that.
- Yeah, threesome with a man.
- Tricky, tricky, tricky.
Now, the contract does not specify whether the third party
was a man or a woman.
- So ain't nothing I could do?
- Well, you can decide if you want to be on the top,
or the bottom, or--
- Nah, for real.
Ain't nothing I can do? - Oh.
Oh, that.
Oh, yeah.
Now-- now, I can draft an amendment to the contract.
But if she's already decided on Mr.--
- --Stevens.
- You know, to deliver the meat,
you know, hide the salami--
- Huh?
- Slip in the sausage-- - All right.
All right. Calm down.
That's too much for me.
Shit.
- But I can do something.
- Oh, so there is something you can do.
Perfect.
[keyboard clicking]
I can only imagine.
It looks like the first typewriter ever invented.
- Oh. Oh. Oh.
I made a typo.
I'm all out of paper.
Esther.
- What are you calling me for?
You know it's hard for me to get in here.
Oh.
If it ain't Twinkle Toes.
- Oh, shit.
- I should kick you with my good foot.
- Oh.
So you're the one who broke my sister's foot.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's your sister?
- I'm going on my break. - Wait.
Wait. Wait.
Now, now, can't you see how busy we are?
Why can't you take your lunch break when things quiet down?
- I'm taking my lunch break now.
You dickhead.
Let me catch you outside.
Hello.
Let me catch you out in the parking
lot cause I'll sure get you with my
[muttering incoherently].
- The fuck?
- You'll have to excuse my sister.
You know, she doesn't have a professional bone
in her wrinkly old body.
- I'll just come back later and get the stuff.
[quiet music]
- So let me get this straight.
She set up a threesome for you and a dude?
Wait. What did Frank say?
- Frank's writing up the amendment now.
- You think your lawyer wife is about to go for that?
- Pthhpth.
I'll find out by tonight.
- That's a horrible idea, bro.
- You can't let him go out like that, though, I mean,
unless he's into that type of--
- Man, what the--
why is y'all always on that type of time, bro?
- Look, obviously, she's bluffing.
- I don't know.
You know, some women are into that guy-guy action.
- I'm with Z, though, man.
Call her bluff.
- What other choice does he have?
- A man, I loose football.
- Yeah, you can't lose football.
- Bruh.
- Listen, he got to make a stand somewhere.
- Okay, but I'm sure he don't want to die on that hill.
- More like Brokeback Mountain.
[snickering]
- I knew I should have never came to y'all for no advice.
- Nah, nah, you know why you come to us.
- I wish I knew how to quit you.
- So why don't you?
Why don't you just let me be?
- What is that?
What y'all doing?
Is that "Brokeback Mountain"? - No.
Speaking of, you got my Blu-ray?
- First of all, listen, it's a beautiful fucking film.
- Heartwarming as fuck, bro.
- Y'all take this bromance way too far.
Out of all the movies y'all could watch, that's what
y'all want to watch? - How about this?
It'll prepare you for the threesome you're about to have.
- A threesome with a dude?
- Don't.
- Girl, you need your own reality show at this point.
- Well, he did say he wanted a threesome.
1, 2, 3.
- We all know you're bluffing.
Right?
Anna Ana Nicole.
- Wow.
All of my names.
- Okay, I am not the biggest Dennis fan,
but you can't ask him to do this.
- But that's just the thing, my sweet friend.
He won't.
- So you're calling his bluff?
- Exactly.
He will never go through with it.
Dennis and another man?
No.
[laughs]
- What if he does?
- Oh, he won't.
- I may not have the best advice, okay?
But girl, I do not think this is a good idea.
I don't have a good feeling about this.
- You're right.
- I know.
- You don't give the best advice.
- I'ma let you have that one because you're not
thinking straight.
Girl, don't mess around and lose your man
trying to prove a point.
- We're good.
I got this.
- Mm-hmm.
- You calling me crying.
[chuckles]
- Happy?
- No, man, not at all.
You said you were going to write a way that
was hard for her to refuse.
The fuck is this?
- She'd have to have a heart of stone to reject that.
- Did you read what you just wrote?
That says, dear Anna, please, please, please, three please,
can you let my client have more involvement
in the threesome process?
He allegedly doesn't want--
allegedly don't want to bone another dude?
Thank you so much.
Frank Mann. Attorney at law.
What the--
if begging was a legal route, I could have did this myself.
- So you want me to put it in more robust legalese language?
- Yes.
- Esther.
Bring my thesaurus and paper.
- Man, I ain't got time for this.
- Before you go, can we--
can we discuss the fee?
- The fee?
How much I owe you?
- 20.
- 20?
You-- man, you smoking rocks?
Who the--
- 15.
- 15 for this Santa Claus ass letter?
You crazy, man.
- Okay, okay, 10, but that's it.
I'm not a welfare recipient.
- 10?
You take credit card?
- I prefer cash.
- Man, I don't carry-- I'm not a rapper.
I don't care that kind of money on me.
- Strippers do.
- I'm just calling the people.
I ain't got time for this, man.
- Okay, five, but that's it.
- Five?
All right.
I'ma go run to the bank.
I'll be right back.
- There you go right there.
I see it right there.
Yeah.
- Oh, $5.
Oh. Yeah.
Here. Here.
I got you.
Here you go.
Do your thing.
- Do you want a receipt? - No.
I'm so good. Keep the change.
Don't ever call me again.
- Esther.
[rap music]
♪ Look stacks of hundreds ♪ About to throw it
♪ Don't be teasing, baby ♪ Show it
♪ You're a freak ♪ Yeah, I know it
♪ Yeah
♪ See, my people got the pole
♪ And he ain't even at the show ♪
♪ Preaching I'ma blow it
- This place was definitely not on the agreements.
- No, but it's a good place to find what we're looking for.
- Last-ditch effort, huh?
- I appreciate you coming. - Mm-hmm.
- And I had to try.
I had to.
[horn] - Oh.
Oh. - Here we go.
- They are aggressive. - Oh, my gosh.
- Sit down. Sit down.
Just sit down. Sit down.
- Babe, there's money stuck on my shoe.
- Pick it up. Pick it up.
Sneak pick it up.
- Hi.
- Oh.
Hi.
- What's up?
- Oh, you are right.
You are right.
This is the perfect place.
- Hey, man, no disrespect, but you ain't on the type of time
we are, so you can go ahead and just move on.
- Is it the nipple rings?
- No, it's the penis.
We don't do that.
We ain't swinging.
It's just-- this the only dick in the room.
- I'm not leaving in two minutes.
- You don't have to. You can chill.
You can go on.
Move on.
So what the fuck is going on?
- I don't know, but he's still there, and he hasn't moved.
- Yeah, he's still there.
- You guys like the burritos here?
- Oh, are they good?
Hey, we should try one. - No, baby.
You are lactose intolerant.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'm lac-- I can't do it.
- You too?
- Yeah, man.
I'm lactose.
- I'll tell you guys what, if I eat one single slice of cheese,
I blow O rings.
- Oof.
Oof.
- Don't ever use no words that start with O again, ever.
[horn] - Yes.
It's blowing out of both ends, babe.
Did you just shit yourself right now?
Woof.
Okay, goodbye.
Thank God.
- Hey, I admit, babe, we still have a rocky start,
but it's uphill from here.
[laughter]
You're right.
- Babe-- two for two.
- The hell is this motherfucker--
he's got that black Mexican wrestler--
hey.
Look, man, before you even start,
you ain't even got to start.
- Hey, Dennis.
You know me. - Frank.
[laughter]
- Man, what the hell you got on, man?
That's my lawyer, man.
- Frank Mann, attorney at law.
- Gimpy is your lawyer?
- Oh, yes.
Yes.
I've been representing Dennis here on some contract.
- Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. - Oh. Oh.
Well, do tell, Gimpy Esquire.
[horn]
- Oh, look at the time.
- No, no, no, no. - What?
- You stay. You stay.
You stop talking.
- That ain't how speed dating goes.
- Continue.
- Now, you do know that I am bound
by client-attorney privilege.
I just can't tell you whatever you want.
- What he's trying to say is I had him make
an amendment to the contract.
- Why?
- You know why, because you tried to manipulate a loophole.
- All I did was use the language
in the contract, Dennis.
- No, you tried to manipulate a loophole.
And that's childish, and inconsiderate,
and disrespectful.
- Oh.
Is that what we're doing in front of company?
- As your attorney, I don't think
you should utter another word.
- I ain't going to say nothing else.
- Yeah.
- I ain't going to say nothing else because she trippin'.
- I can get loud too.
As your wife, I would suggest that you
listen to your attorney, your professional, gimpy attorney.
See you tomorrow night.
- Where you going?
Hey, baby, baby, baby. - Bye, Mark.
Sorry this couldn't work out.
- Baby.
Hey, I'ma call you--
I'm going to call you Gimpy--
Frank, whatever it is.
Hey, baby.
- Hey, Frank.
- Hey, buddy.
You think-- having burritos today?
- 52.
[hip hop music]
- What the hell?
What the fuck?
- You look nice.
- You strike.
- Dark chocolate.
Look at that.
Oh, I like me some chocolate.
Look at you. How you doing?
- Hello.
- Yeah, Johnny Gill would be proud.
- My, my, my.
- Steven.
Okay. Dennis, right?
Big D. Big D's a popular name.
Hey, man, don't look at me like that because tonight-- listen.
No, listen.
You got to clear your mind, man.
Don't forget about the no homo, the pose gang.
Tonight, you have to prepare your mind,
your body, and your wife to be entangled with another man.
Now, see, normally when I do things like this,
I want to get right straight to it, something stiff and hard
like a bullet, you know, bourbon whiskey.
But I decided to bring a nice little bottle of wine instead.
- Nice choice.
- Thank you.
Speaking of choices, besides this choice here--
[sniffs] Mm-hmm.
It smells like chicken.
Is that chicken?
- Indeed, it is.
- It is.
- I bet it's succulent, juicy, tender,
and just falls off the bone, don't it?
- Yeah.
- You know, but before it gets too awkward,
let's go suck on some of your wife's meat, man.
I'm a breasts man myself.
- Come on, man.
There's no way you can make this.
- That's insane.
- It's no way you can make this, dog.
- I just whooped your ass for the whole game.
- Man, whooped my ass? Bro, just go ahead and shoot.
- You want to make it double or nothing on this shot?
- Just go ahead. Just go ahead and shoot.
- Double or nothing on the shot.
Hey. Yo. What the fuck, yo?
[laughter]
- You dumb asses are just going to sit here and let your boy
ruin his marriage?
- Look, he's a grown ass man, okay?
He made his choice.
Now, your girl, she's over there.
And this is her fault.
- I know.
And it was dumb as hell.
- Okay, so why didn't you tell her?
- I did. - Okay.
And why didn't she listen to you?
- I give horrible advice.
She never listens to me.
- No, that's true.
You do give some shitty ass advice.
- Okay. You know what?
- You remember that time you told Jackie she
should break up with Harold?
- Yeah, he was smoking weed all day and playing video games.
- And he's, like, a billionaire game developer now.
- She's a regional manager at a shoe store.
- Shoe store.
- Bert and Ernie, can we go now?
- Coming in to fuck up the day. - Hey.
Hey. You owe me money, bro.
I kicked your ass. - Bro, come on.
That's bullshit, man.
[upbeat music]
- Yeah, I knew it was sucking.
I could suck on this for hours with you, woman like that.
Mm, mm, mm.
So Anna, you're an attorney.
- Yes, corporate.
- Huh. Interesting.
Yeah.
And Big D, engineer, huh?
- Engineer and mechanical.
- Okay. All right.
Cool. Like Tony Stark, huh?
- Something like that. - Something like that.
- Yeah.
- So Steven, tell us a little bit about you.
- Sure.
- Yeah, tell us about you being a gigolo.
[laughter]
- Wow.
I never heard that term in a long time, man.
- So sorry.
- No, no, no. He just took me back, you know?
That's my favorite R. Kelly song, man.
- So sorry. - No, no, no.
It's okay because it's hard for a heterosexual man,
you know, to see his wife with another man for the first time
and to be with another man for the first time.
You know, that's-- that's really hard.
Or not, or not, because you can still
have a heterosexual threesome without the two men
having sexual interaction, you know?
But it's still hard to prepare for that,
for him to see his wife sucking another man's dick.
So it comes with a lot of trepidations, you know?
But to answer your question, no, I'm a sex
coach and a holistic healer.
- Okay. Okay.
Now, that-- that sounds interesting.
- Sounds like a long way of saying gigolo.
- You see? You see?
The chakras aren't lining up.
The energy is off.
This entanglement is not entangling, so I'm going to--
I'm going to get up out of here because I
don't want any trouble.
All right?
- Steven.
Please, we need you.
- This man can't handle it.
I don't want to be in the middle of y'all, okay?
- But Steven, please. - No, look. Look. Look.
Look. - Please stay.
We really need you to stay, please.
- It's hard to say no to you, Chocolate.
All right.
Where's your bedroom?
[romantic music]
[suspenseful music]
[phone ringing]
- He's not answering.
- No, he's not picking up either.
- Call Anna.
[phone ringing]
Bitch.
She's not answering either.
[tires screeching]
- God damn, woman.
You a getaway driver in your past life?
- Calm down.
- You cannot drive like this. - Why?
- Because--
- You're going to get car sick?
- Not me.
- Oh, hell-- oh, no, no, no.
[panicking]
[tires screeching] - Hold on.
Hold on.
[beep]
[rock music]
- Is he kissing you?
- Baby, just pay attention.
- I need time for this year.
Hey, bro. He's wilding.
Did this nigga get his bare feet on my fucking bed?
- Good energy.
Good energy.
Energy.
Come on, champ. - Come on what?
- Babe. - Fuck no.
- Together? Want to do it together?
- No the fuck we can't.
- Come on.
- God. - Come on, baby.
Good energy.
- Ain't no come on energy my ass.
You can have that nigga. I'm--
- No. Come on.
- No.
- Good energy.
- This nigga crazy.
[upbeat music]
- You know, Marvin Gaye got it right.
Sexual healing.
- Wow.
Hey, Eva.
- I hope you're happy, man.
- Excuse me, young man? - Excuse me, young man?
You know what's going on.
Our friend's fucking marriage is ruined, man.
- I highly doubt that.
- If you pulled out of your pants
what I know you pulled out, she's ruined.
- I thought you knew I don't pull out.
But no, no, no. Listen.
Listen.
[distant moaning]
See that? - That's disgusting.
- Just needed a pep talk, a little starter pistol action,
a little battery in the back.
Speaking of putting things in our backs,
can I get a ride with you?
I need a little ride home.
- Well, you know I drive stick.
- Well, you're going to need all six gears for this.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Hey. Hold up. Hold up.
Ms. Stick, what about us? - Oh.
Uber. Uber.
- Oh, you're just going to leave us for some dick?
- Figure it out.
- Put your seatbelt on.
- She got six kids, bro.
The hole is like this, bro.
Like that.
- It's going to be like that after she sit on that shit.
[distant moaning]
- Sexual healing.
- I should head out.
It's getting kind of weird for me.
- It's loud.
- Loud as shit.
- It's like-- it's like listening to your parents
fuck, bro.
- You heard your parents fuck before?
- Every night when I was seven.
- Why?
- My parents were freaks, man.
- Like-- Okay.
- Nasty shit too.
[upbeat music]
- Hey.
I smell special pancakes.
I don't know how you got the strength and energy.
What you make, babe?
- Oh, hey.
- Hey. - Baby, where you at?
- Baby?
- Where you at?
- Where is my baby?
[indistinct]
- There go my baby.
- Here's my baby.
- Love you always and forever.
You know what?
Hey, fuck work.
Let's just get out and hang out.
And why don't we just chill here, play hooky,
and just fuck everywhere?
[laughter]
All I need is five minutes. - Come on.
You had more than five minutes last night.
Okay. I love my-- Okay.
This is a good one?
[banging on door]
- What the hell?
- Hold on.
Hold on.
Just give me one second at the door.
- Go. Go.
Get rid of that person.
- Go upstairs and get in bed.
- I'm taking these pillows.
You know I like to be right on top.
- Open up, Dennis.
I finally nailed that amendment.
- What we got here?
Yeah, everything's perfect.
- I am so glad to hear that.
- But I won't be needing it, man.
I'm good. We're good.
I'm good. She's good.
We're good.
Yeah, she's happy.
I'm happy.
No need for a contract.
This is the perfect relationship,
so you can skedaddle.
- Fine.
I guess, I'm glad to hear that.
- Yeah.
Yeah, man.
I appreciate it.
- Look, you know, love is a very rare thing, Denny.
I mean, it's not always--
it never is a typical boy meets girl thing, not for most of us.
- Uh-huh.
- I mean, sometimes, you know-- you get lucky
to have somebody who has the heart to really
give you the true love.
Then when you lose it, it's a pain worse than death.
- Damn.
Did you lose somebody, man?
- Maria.
She was one in a million.
She took care of me and mom.
It was my honor to take care of her until the end.
- Damn.
I'm sorry to hear about that, Frank.
I really am.
But I appreciate you, though.
- You've got one in a million.
Yeah.
You went through-- you went through slings.
You went through arrows. You went through penises.
- No, I didn't. No.
That's your type of shit. - Okay.
No judgment. No judgment.
But you did it all for love.
That's got to count for something.
- For sure.
But I appreciate you, Frank.
Just-- hey, when you go out, make sure you
lock the door for me, man.
I love you.
You can keep the deposit.
[upbeat music]
- Just the chiquita I was hoping to see.
You think you're so special, don't you?
Too good for us mere mortals?
You think the sun rises out of that halfwits ass.
I don't get it.
- Seriously, I'm not in the mood for your bullshit, okay?
- Oh.
Maybe I could get you in the mood,
you know, with some sage oils and a packet of ribbed--
What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
[screaming]
- You are so fucking fired.
- Don't act like you've never been burned down there,
you creep.
- Dad.
Dad. She just assaulted me.
- I was looking for you, son.
I have formal complaints from Sherry, Lori, Emma in payroll,
and Carmen in transportation.
- Wow. Really?
Carmen?
- I know she's in a walker, but--
- That's enough.
- Come on, Dad.
- We're going to address these allegations.
And then I want you, son, to clear out your desk.
- What?
- Finish up what you're doing, Anna.
And get back to work for me, okay?
- Of course. Of course, sir.
Yes, of course.
- Son.
- Come on, guys.
Guys?
Carmen?
Baby.
[dramatic music]
- Godspeed.
[upbeat music]
- And we welcome our newest partners
of the firm, Anna Ana Nicole.
[applause]
[indistinct conversation]
[cheering]
[indistinct conversation]
[happy music]
[vomiting]
- Oh, shit.
[suspenseful music]
- You okay, baby?
- Mm-hmm.
- Yo.
Yo.
- Yes.
- My dick work.
My dick work.
[upbeat music]
- I always find interesting ways to address
somebody's daughter.
You know what I'm saying?
[rap music]
You know, something like--
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ About stuff in Bottega, Prada, and Saint Laurent ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ Face down in my lap
♪ Only time she sleeps with the tongue ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ She down to hold the strap
♪ When I slide with it through the slum ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ Yeah
♪ So I'ma be a player till I find me one ♪
♪ Yeah ♪ To be loved
♪ We light as Prince Hakeem
♪ Send me by my nuts
♪ Sitting inside my truck
♪ Bumping something about me that's unreleased ♪
♪ Nothing sweet so back back and ♪
♪ Give me 50, boy
♪ Like the younger me, couple freaks ♪
♪ Wifey and the main hoe
♪ Is it game?
♪ No
♪ I'm transparent like a rainbow ♪
♪ They love my confidence
♪ The goals that I have accomplished big ♪
♪ My exes looking for closure
♪ I told her buy a wig
♪ I've probably been the emperor ♪
♪ When? ♪ In my former life
♪ Million dollars for the signature ♪
♪ I've been at your [indistinct] ♪
♪ For them stormy nights ♪ Left me out
♪ Now my heart is frigid
♪ And my thoughts invisible
♪ I'm dodging prison plus federal seats ♪
♪ Back and forth from H-Town to LA ♪
♪ Trevor Ariza
♪ Negative people, I despise
♪ Shorty told me that I'm never going to leave you ♪
♪ Hope she's laughing
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ About stuff in Bottega, Prada, and Saint Laurent ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ Yeah, face down in my lap
♪ Only time she sleep with the tongue ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ She's down to hold the strap ♪
♪ When I slide with it through the slums ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ Yeah
♪ So I'ma be a player till I find me one ♪
♪ Look, I need a chick
♪ That ain't constantly on the ground ♪
♪ Double tapping all in other people's business ♪
♪ Instead she got an LLC
♪ Just this much paper
♪ It's me
♪ And her head game always be consistent ♪
♪ She keep the [indistinct] and the tote ♪
♪ Her knee high boots match the Fendi coat ♪
♪ I want to pull her hair
♪ But first we finna smoke
♪ So she gave me sloppy
♪ While I twist this dope
♪ Then I made the box stream
♪ Fire Stick remote
♪ Hop up then I go, but shorty understands ♪
♪ Why? ♪ She knows I move different
♪ See, I got 99 problems that don't include women ♪
♪ I got to watch you ♪ I kick it
♪ We keep a cool distance
♪ Birds of a feather
♪ And lots of these niggas stool pigeons ♪
♪ Who isn't-- who isn't really these days? ♪
♪ Act like they a dog
♪ But they really strays
♪ I'm outside trying to feel these places ♪
♪ Then make it home
♪ So I don't need a girl
♪ That's going to be blowing up my phone ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ Bout stuff in Bottega, Prada, and Saint Laurent ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ Face down in my lap
♪ Only time she sleep with the tongue ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ She's down to hold the strap ♪
♪ When I slide with it through the slums ♪
♪ I need a dime to fight with
♪ So I'ma be a player till I find me one ♪
- You know, I really don't pay attention when a player speaks.
Nod your head if you understand.
Yeah.
That's a good girl.
♪ So I'ma be a player till I find me one ♪