[MUSIC]
I heard magnum condoms are basically same
size as regular condoms.
What do you think?
What else do we believe
just because of our pain?
If you grew up, you know
the book of Mormon is fake.
You probably believe it was fake cuz
that's what you were told.
Magnums are huge.
My sister said her
ex-husband is a scary pig.
He came frighteningly
big and they wore magnums.
Sounds made out.
Elephant trunk.
That's what she would call it.
I was watching this video,
I'm not sure where I saw it.
It was these two people
having intercourse sexual,
intercourse sex, and a
cameraman filming them,
like an amateur
pronounography type thing.
And the girl in the video was moaning
loudly, at the typical,
I assume, in that kind
of video, just screaming.
And then all of a sudden,
off camera in the hallway,
you hear this Iranian
yell through the wall.
"Wake and air you out!"
And a couple stopped sexy.
And the love of
embarrassment and horror on their faces
was so painful.
And the porno girl who's
taking it from behind us,
so something defiant,
like good, under her breath.
You can literally see her soul being
sucked out of her body.
Right then and there,
all of her dignity gone,
as if realizing for the first time, like,
wow, this is my life.
I'm effing a stranger
on camera for money.
And I just thought, like,
wow, that is really poignant.
Because in that moment, I
was like, yeah, God's real.
We have souls.
It's divine confirmation.
Do you watch the live?
No.
I do not.
No, I do not.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
No.
It's OK.
No, I sit-- no, I'm not.
I know.
I'm not.
[LAUGHTER]
I hope this goes well.
I know it's not a competition, but I
have about tried to see who
investigated our admission
yet.
Well, it's OK.
I've only converted,
like, eight or nine people.
Eight or nine?
Balls.
Anyway, what do you think
about what I was saying?
The guano thing?
Like, how has God shown
you that the church is true?
I don't know.
I haven't really thought about it.
We know it's true.
If ye receive no witness until after the
trial of your baby--
If ye receive--
No witness.
What do we have after this couple again?
I think we have the
bald guy we met at Costco.
OK.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, for every flight upstairs--
Yeah.
My husband gets five times higher.
Hi, good afternoon, man.
My name is Sister Barnes, and
this is my companion, Sister
Pat.
Are you interested in
looking about our Savior Jesus
Christ?
Hi, good afternoon.
My name is Sister Barnes, and--
I feel like we need to think it's, like,
too high or too low.
I really like to sing.
I think you have a beautiful voice.
I know I don't have a
beautiful voice, but--
No, you do.
You do.
I enjoy it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, my gosh.
I already love these girls.
Hey.
[LAUGHTER]
Hey.
[BUZZER]
[SCREAM]
Sorry.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, my God.
Sorry.
Can I get a pic?
Oh, of course.
Here.
Is it true?
Is what true?
Do you wear magic underwear?
What?
Oh, my gosh.
I'm going to get my milk.
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This is it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
People think we're weird.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
That soft rock music
kind of makes fun of us.
Can I listen to some of the songs?
And they're actually pretty funny.
Anyway, who cares what people think?
You're awesome.
Thanks.
[MUSIC PLAYING] [KNOCKING]
Hi.
My name is Sis Gresson.
Hello.
Sis Gresson.
So, can you listen to me?
Oh, she's in a whole position.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right.
Let's get you a baptism.
[KNOCKING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Good afternoon.
Hi.
Good afternoon.
I'm Sister Paxton, and this is my
companion, Sister Barnes.
Are you Mr. Reed?
Oh, yeah.
Hello, too.
Hello.
You are Paxton, you are Barnes.
No. Paxton.
Barnes, yes.
Mr. Reed, it's so nice
to meet you, finally.
We were just in the area, and we wanted
to stop by because you
mentioned you might be interested in
learning more about the Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mr. Reed, we would like to give you this
booklet, as it will help you
understand the restoration.
I actually have one already, but you will
never have too many.
It tells you all the ways Heavenly Father
can reveal His gospel.
As a part of His plan, God chooses
prophets such as Adam,
Noah, Abraham, and Moses.
Yeah.
[INAUDIBLE]
Teach about God and receive revelation.
And they interpret the Word of God and
preach the gospel to the world.
And because of apostasy,
He will not let the gospel.
You have a girl roommate?
No, who?
A roommate.
We can't come inside unless another woman
is present, but we can
stay out here in the dorm.
Is this for safety?
We don't mind the rain.
My wife is home.
Does that come?
Yeah, it's perfect.
When you said roommate, I panicked.
I've never roomaged since-- anyway, I
have a soulmate, and that is good enough.
Yes, that's great.
We'd love to come in and meet your wife.
Then come on in.
OK.
Do you like pie?
Yeah.
My wife has pie in the oven.
Turkey's so much railing mission.
People are always picking us treats.
I never seem to turn them down.
No, my wife loves to bake.
May I take your coat?
I really love pie.
I am super excited.
My grandma used to make the best pie.
OK, well, you and my wife
are going to go very well.
Oh, one thing, the walls and
ceilings have metal in them.
I hope that's OK.
No, mine's--
Good.
Well, I will go and check on the snacks.
Make yourself at home.
Thank you.
[music playing]
My wife is being shy.
But the pie, the pie is nine.
She'll have to be in
the room with us, too.
Yes, of course, of course, right.
I understand.
Please take a seat.
Come on, come on.
Let's all help you stay.
I think it is good to be religious.
Well, our work here is done.
No, no, I just want you to
know that before we start.
I think that we would
consider that refreshing to hear.
But sometimes it feels like maybe
religion isn't at the center.
Culture anymore.
Well, it's fading, isn't it?
Yeah, over time.
Mm-hmm.
OK, are you ready to hear about our
Heavenly Father's plan for you?
I am.
Wait, where are you both from?
Me, Ogden, Utah.
One of eight daughters--
I know, it's his--
[laughter] And his sister rises from Salt Lake City,
Philadelphia, originally.
And you're both raised in a church, yeah.
Born and raised.
My mother was a convert,
so when my dad passed away,
we auditioned a few different churches
just to see what was out there
and see if we still believed in it.
I know that feeling very well.
It's so important to
find your faith in a doctor,
and you actually believe.
And that's a very,
very personal struggle.
That is a personal challenge that I've
struggled with for a very,
very long time.
You know, what is the one true religion?
It's funny, Sister Raul was telling us
that we should prioritize other
investigators.
But no, I was just saying, I can tell
that you are a very spiritually
curious person.
And just like Joseph Smith, you know,
Joseph investigated many different
denominations--
Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholicism--
and none of them quite fit, which is why
Joseph founded our church.
As I understand it,
stop me when I go wrong,
he was visited in the night
by an angel called Moroni.
Moroni.
I, who showed him where he could locate
some golden plates near his
home, his mysterious
translation of those plates,
on the basis of this.
Wow.
No, you read more than we do.
No, seriously, we should
be more like you, Mr. Reed.
Mr. Reed.
Hi, smells amazing.
And now that you've been
studying the Book of Mormon,
how does it make you feel?
Can you guess what
kind of pie she's making?
Is it blueberry pie?
It is blueberry pie.
I know, but my favorite.
Going back, can I ask, how
did your father pass away?
I'm sorry, actually.
Blueberry disease?
Blueberry disease.
OK, that's wonderful.
Blueberry disease.
Who wouldn't want that?
Lou Gehrig's disease?
Gehrig's?
Oh, that's awful.
I'm so sorry.
I misheard.
That is a malicious affliction.
I thought you were
making a joke about pie.
Sorry.
Have you seen any signs of
your father since he passed?
Has he tried to
communicate with the other sign?
No.
That's strange.
Well, I'm really sorry, and I'm sorry
about the blueberry mix-up.
That's OK.
When I die, I want to
come back as a butterfly,
just to follow around the people I love.
I'll land right on their hand.
Not their arm, not their
head, right on their fingertip,
so they know it's sweet.
Apologies, that is a foible of the house.
I'm sorry.
Well, ladies, I can't see you now.
I think it is time.
Time for what?
Time for pie.
Pie!
And time for enlightenment.
I'm sorry, I should
have offered you water.
The word of wisdom forbids caffeine and
alcohol, doesn't it?
Well, it doesn't
specifically mention soda.
I'm sure it may be healthier to avoid
caffeine and drinks,
but we're just not thirsty.
How do you feel about awkward questions?
The mean?
No, I want to ask an
awkward and icky question,
an insensitive question that I think will
add depth to our conversation
very quickly before the sun goes down and
we're gone for the evening.
But only if you're comfortable with that.
Well, we won't know if we're comfortable
until you ask, so...
Fair point.
Maybe you just ask him.
If you don't ask, I'm going to leave here
wondering what we missed out on.
Very well.
My question is this.
And now I feel built up to...
Should I request a drumroll?
I'm going to request a drumroll.
A drumroll, please. Ladies.
Keep going, keep going, keep going.
Yes, more, more, more.
Now, my question is how
do you feel about polygamy?
How do you feel about the concept of a
man having multiple wives?
I mean, it's not for me.
Are you asking from a
biblical perspective?
Mormonism has a controversial history
with the misogynist practice of men
claiming multiple wives,
but I am fascinated by the
idea of modern revelation,
which was used to erase this behaviour from the Church in 1890.
I just think that's
worthy of conversation.
And what I mean by that is that we're
discussing a church that decided that a
controversial practice was
a state of its reputation
and an actual entrance to recruiting new
members, and so it is "revernation".
Word of God told them to the prophet to
banish a provocative religious pillow
that seemed unsavory
at contemporary times.
Yeah, I know that it may
be difficult to understand,
but polygamy was a spiritual mission
needed at the time in order to grow the
ranks of our membership in the wake of
much hardship and bloodshed.
A man having plural wives spent more
babies to help the community grow.
Yeah, it's sketch for sure.
It was removed from the Church not just
because it was grotesque or
controversial, but just
because it wasn't necessary anymore.
You see, I worry, and
forgive my loud language,
I worry that Joseph Smith used the
concept of polygamy to legitimise his
affairs with other women.
I worry that Joseph's wife, Emma Smith,
was upset when he slept with any elger
there, a 16-year-old, my head.
I worry that he formulated a plan to use
revelation for consequence-free sex in
the aftermath of that, in
discretion, and others like it.
With great power comes
great responsibility.
Spider-Man.
Voltaire.
Right.
I guess what I've imposed to the room is
my concern that polygamy has
no spiritual bearing whatsoever.
That is somewhat of a
distortion, I think.
The Church's own history corroborates and
implies this cynical,
brainwashing, and acting.
Is that true?
I'm sorry, I'm not sure
where you're getting this.
If revelation by God is filtered through
man, and man is flawed, and man sins, and
man lies, then how do
we know any of it's true?
We know it's true because
of how it makes us feel.
Bingo! That's exactly right. That's
exactly right. Couldn't agree more. It's
our personal relationship
with God, which matters.
Let's talk with our bishop about some of
the points you're raising.
Question. What's your
favourite fast food?
Master the
Why don't we talk about Taco Bell?
We have to talk about Taco Bell to talk
about why we don't talk about Taco Bell.
Alright, so Burger King is number one.
I think it's trash.
Right. Not Jack in the Box.
Taco Wendy's.
Blanket support.
Good. Wendy's it is.
Do you know I've never had a Wendy.
I came out wrong.
That's okay.
So when I started studying theology, the
last thing I wanted to
do was find the Wendy.
The Wendy's of religions.
I was just writing a research paper for a
college class and I was
content with doubling.
So some like luggage here.
BK Whopper over there.
Whatever fit the mood.
As I studied the
genres, my D.B.K. in and out,
i.e. Mormonism,
Scientology, Islam, Buddhism,
and I got closer to God
through genre and rigorous study.
As I worked on my personal relationship
with Heavenly Father and
I think strengthened it.
Do you know what I found?
More you know, the less you know.
By the time I was 50, I was malnourished
from the fast food of religion I've been
packing into my brain.
That's part of the decade.
Every sect, cult, creed, denomination,
all claimed to be the one true doctrine.
And yet none seemed true
and held under the microscope.
I wonder what else was out there.
I promise you, the last thing I wanted to
do was find the one true religion.
But unfortunately I did.
[music]
Can we meet your wife, please?
Of course, yes.
She just has to be present and
we want to meet her, as well.
Sorry, I'll go ask.
[music]
Sister Barnes, I don't know.
I don't want to speak him, but we should
wrap this. Any messages?
Nothing.
Okay, um, let's just
politely wrap this and hide back.
Just for highlights.
[music]
And she is finally ready.
Sorry about that.
Come on through, she's eager to meet you.
Well, this way.
One moment, Mr. Reid. We're just getting
a call from the Relief Society president.
We'll go right there.
Hi, this is Sister Barnes.
Thank you.
She'll be here now.
Yes.
[music]
What is it?
Our bikes.
Yeah.
Locked outside.
Yes, it goes.
The bike lock is at my goal.
So we need our guns.
Yeah.
I don't know, do we?
Back without cones and
bikes, what is that? Two miles?
No, like, it's four.
It's a little over the top.
I'm fine, I'm fine, I walk here.
It's stuck.
Okay, I'm good.
I got a whole water line here.
[music]
Is he still there?
You're a thief.
Are you sure?
Should we ask your bro?
No.
Can you fit through this?
You're crazy.
No, just try Sister, okay?
Or, the elves are getting you just so
they know where we are.
It's not going through.
It's a storm, keep trying.
Okay.
[music]
No, we have to go.
I'm...
It'll be fine.
[music]
[music] [music]
Mr. Reid?
[music]
And there they are, welcome.
Mr. Brady, I've been too
generous with your time.
Sister Paxson and I were just saying what
a pleasure it's been.
But we just got off the phone with Sister
Hall and she needs us
to return to the church.
Oh, wonderful.
I won't keep you if you wish to leave.
We've been summoned back.
Dammit, dammit, because we were just getting started.
But you know, you have been thinking that
maybe you are onto
something with your visit.
I've been impressed, but I understand.
Yeah, your coats are here
hanging on the back of the pew.
Excuse me one moment.
[music]
So, we just need your help with the door.
It's a little tricky.
Sorry?
I think your door is
a bit stuck out there.
The door won't open.
The front door?
The front door won't open again.
It opened when we came in.
Maybe if you unlock it, it will open?
I understand what you're asking me, but
the deadbolts are on a timer.
I got carried away with our conversation.
I didn't realise the brace had been set.
I should have pulled the pin when you
came in, but I forgot.
So, if you are now regrettably ready to
leave, you'll have to exit
through the back of my house.
Where? Just through here.
Well, can you just unlock the front one,
please? We would like to go that way.
So we don't get turned around and
confused when we get outside?
Yeah, it won't open again till morning.
Please, sir?
Oh, I'm sorry. I promise you,
it's safe to leave this way.
It's a little unusual to have
a door that unlocks on a timer.
Yes, I was either.
And it's a little unusual
that it can't be unlocked.
No, I know. I am self-aware enough to
know how this might look, older man to
young women in his house.
But I assure you, you are welcome to
leave through the back.
You saw my house from the outside room.
Right, and so you know it's tiny
footprint, but back of
my house is just there.
Anyway, I will leave you space to make
your decision, for you.
Yeah.
To clarify, I am trying, have been trying
very hard to make it a point not to
pressure you, so you shouldn't even feel
the need to fabricate a story about
someone from your ward
calling you to leave.
It's perfectly fine. Leave what you want.
It wasn't an excuse.
They do need us back.
Oh, I know. But you're saying you took a
call with someone from your ward.
Yeah, a moment ago.
But when you came inside, I asked if you
were okay with the metal in
the walls and the ceilings.
What do you mean?
I mean that the metal obstructs
self-affing signals, so I do know you
didn't take a call. But just to be clear,
so you're comfortable.
It is totally fine for you to leave on
your own accord. You never need to feel
like you have to make excuses or tell me
a little bit of white light.
So which door takes us outside?
Do you have a preference?
Why would I have preference?
We have a preference?
That is a fair question.
That would be completely weird. But can
your wife please just step in the room,
say hello, and walk us to the back of the
house. I'm not trying to be silly. I
promise I'm really not. But there are
rules we follow, and we
were upfront with them.
I would ask.
Can I ask you a question first?
Do you still believe that
my wife is in the next room?
Despite all the evidence, to the
contrary, the scented candle, the absence
of an oven with blue brick pie,
or have you been politely indulging a
lie? If you still believe that she's in
there, I'll go ask. But it's something I
want you to think about, and maybe think
about in the context of your beliefs.
Do you believe in God? Because somebody
told you at an impressionable age that
God is real, despite having doubts, as
you got older, despite seeing evidence to
the contrary your whole lives.
When your father lost control of his
body, did you think it was God's plan to
ruin his life? Or did you go on believing
something that you know is not true, just
to give you comfort because you were
afraid of what it might
mean if it was all a lie?
I put the scented candle on the table
because I wanted you to think about the
things that you believe just because
somebody asked you to believe them.
Can I use your phone, please?
I don't have a phone.
You have a really beautiful home,
mystery. It's like a church in here. Did
you build it yourself?
My wife built it.
We're going to leave through the bathroom
house. Now is that okay?
Of course.
Just like you said, it's
okay and we can leave. Right?
That's right.
Why is it?
Where is it?
Sister Prince.
It's amazing.
It doesn't look like this goes outside.
I think that you can tell that we're
regrettably uncomfortable with this
situation here tonight.
I'm sorry, but didn't you just say a
moment ago that you saw
the outside of my house?
So then you clearly saw the back of my
house over Hangsah
Hill, so you would know that
you have to go dooden
in order to go boot.
I think it would be best for you and for
all of us if you could
help us go home, because
this state president, he knows where we
are in the ward, mission
is now, they'll be expecting
us.
And there were witnesses,
weren't there sister Barnes?
On a regular, he passed a police officer.
Oh, police?
I promise you, you're getting way, way,
way, way too worked up.
Right.
But I think that we're scared
because you lied to us earlier.
You want me to help?
You asked me earlier if you should have a
preference between the doors.
I think you should, and I think it's
something you should
consider very carefully and then
make the right decision.
Do you want me to help you?
Yes.
Okay.
Then please.
Come and stand here.
Look up.
15.
That's it.
It's a simple choice, but
it should not be made simply.
I need you to reflect very, very deeply
and then make a sincere decision.
Have you ever played the
Parker Brothers game Monopoly?
Monopoly is currently
published in 47 languages.
They sell it in over 114 countries.
They say over a billion people have
played the Monopoly, but
I'm guessing that only a
fraction of that billion
have actually finished it.
Maybe that reminds you of something else.
Just as all.
This is what most people
mean when they hear Monopoly.
There is the future avatars.
Everyone has their favorite.
I shall not tell you mine.
No.
There's the Bastel money in various
denominations and of course the jail.
Now, this next part is very important.
Have you ever played the 1904 board game
called the Landlord's Game?
It is very nearly identical to Monopoly
in every fundamental way.
There's the jail.
There's free parking.
There's fines and fees.
There's penalties for landing on other
people's properties and
the ultimate goal of forming.
Monopoly is to force your
opponent out of the game.
What do games have to do with us leaving?
Everything.
The Landlord's Game was designed by
American feminist President of Meggy
almost three decades
before a heater salesman from
Philadelphia, Susan Barton,
changed the name to Monopoly
and sold the concept as his
own to Parker Brothers in 1935.
This chap was called Charles Darrow who
would not become the first millionaire
game designer in the history of the world
while poor old Elizabeth Meggy died
without ever being credited for the
impact she had on American culture.
Free.
I'm talking to iterations.
I need you to have a very basic
understanding of iterating because I'm
going to make a very
disturbing play tonight.
It will make your stomach sink a little
and your hearts beat faster.
It will make you think it may even, I'm
very sorry, make you want to die.
Nothing.
Have you heard this song before?
You just played it.
I have you before tonight.
I disagree.
I think you've heard it many, many times
before but we will come back to that.
You are, you not monotheistic?
You may believe in Heavenly Father, yes.
There are three major,
untheistic religions.
Judaism, Christianity and Islam.
I call them the big three.
Judaism, i.e. the original edition,
Christianity, i.e. the most
popular edition, and Islam.
The newer, second most popular edition.
May I see your Book of Mormon, please?
I'll give it back.
Thank you.
Many after 800 years, this Mormonism,
i.e. the Zaini regional spin-off edition.
These are all iterations
of the same source material.
These texts share many of the same
characters and histories all be presented
with different meanings and perspectives.
So, no, I will not accept that you stand
there and tell me that you never heard
the air that I breathe by the hollers
when I know that you have heard "croup".
I'm in your head.
Oh, yes, you have.
Come on.
Hurdle the creep, huh? I'm a widow.
Okay. What the hell am I doing here?
I know these are things you're thinking
right now but they're also
lyrics you recognize, yes?
Yes. The Hollies filed a plagiarism
lawsuit against Radiohead which they
later settled by proving that the melody
and rhythm of the air that
I breathe appear in "Creep".
How old are you, 19 or
20? Something like that.
Okay, so maybe you know Lana Del Rey, who
remarkably was sued by Radiohead for
plagiarizing "Creep" in
her 2017 song "Get Free".
" iterations over time diluting the
message obscuring the original".
"Tudism" is the OG monotheistic religion.
It's showed by a wide margin of the most
number of practicing members and yet it
makes up only 0.2% of
the world's population.
Why is that? Why is the original less
popular than "Iniserations" if any? Less
true than the others?
Are we talking about
relation or board games or music?
Yes. It has the fewest members because it
doesn't advertise. It
doesn't have people like you.
Knocking on doors, selling people a
better life, a better
board game, a better song.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Are the missionaries ready to sell people
for an organisation?
The product you're selling is an idea.
You knock on my door and you sell, maybe
I buy, maybe I don't buy.
Put in the rules of engagement when I
invite you into my house.
We are negotiating a
transaction of ideologies.
What I'm trying to say to you tonight is
that I have an idea which I
would like to sell to you.
[Door slams shut]
My argument is that the holy texts which
we revere are just mythological
iterations of stories which ancient
people have been telling
each other for centuries.
[Door slams shut]
They're not true or real in any literal
sense. They are merely a
contrary to a more ancient truth.
[Door slams shut]
The story of a savior who was born to a
virgin, who could perform miracles and
who supernaturally resurrected,
was a very popular story for at least a
thousand years before Jesus was born.
One of my black hair was a
grenade, both dressed similar.
No, never a sapphire.
Mithras performed miracles. He was marked
by the sign of the cross.
Oras walked on water, was
crucified, had twelve disciples.
Krishna, as he was a carpenter, born to a
virgin, baptized in the river, rose from
the dead, and ascended into heaven.
This little gallery depicts twelve gods
who were born on December the 25th, all
of whom predate the existence of Jesus.
I am sorry, but it is impossible to
ignore the influence of
one narrative upon another,
or to ignore the fact that all these
stories iterate into...
Star Wars, Episode 1, The Phantom Menace.
Can you imagine thousands of years from
now, people accepting Jar Jar as a
significant religious figure?
But you're a virgin?
Jar Jar. Jar Jar Binks.
Jar Jar, excuse me.
Never mind.
It is all terrifying, isn't it? I'm sorry.
It is. It is all.
Scary.
I'm scared.
I'm scared just
saying it out loud, really.
[knocking]
If God is real, that he watches one may
masturbate, and he has such a fragile ego
that he only helps us when we beg him and
shower him with praise,
and he hates gay people for being what he
made them to be, well, that's terrifying.
[knocking]
If there's no God, then we're just horny
microscopic, anstulating on a rock
through space with no divine purpose and
no hope to achieve eternal life well.
That's terrifying too.
Either the church is true, or it is a
fraud. It is the
church and kingdom of God.
Already there's nothing.
You agree with that?
Would it help if I told you this is
Gordon B. Hinckley, the 15th president of
your church? You agree with Gordon?
Yes.
Put your mind.
So either it is all true
or none of it's true. Yes?
Yes.
Then I want you to choose which door to
go through based on your faith.
Are you asking us for us to deliberate
our belief in the church factor, which
will correspond to what's going on?
I'm asking you to choose
between belief and disbelief.
My own claim is that all 10,000
verifiable religions that exist in the
world today are as artificial as the symbolic church you're currently standing in.
It is fast. There is nothing holy here.
Your religious text is mere ornament, as
hollow and as capitalistic
as these ridiculous games.
I want you to know what is going to
happen to us before we choose.
I don't even know how to begin to answer
that question if it hasn't happened yet.
Wow, Mr. Reid, you've introduced a lot of
interesting points. I think we can admit
that you're a very smart man and we still
have a lot to learn.
So in fact, I would like to agree that
you've convinced us and we'd like to lead
through the disbelief
door and go home now.
Right, Sister Barnes?
Sister? Sister Barnes? I think we should
listen to our super-made
thoughtful host choose the right.
You know, choose the right?
They taught us in primaries?
What did you say to him? We're just not
going to let us go just
because we admit he's right.
Let's just get out of here while our host
is being gracious enough to let us leave.
I think that we're being studied.
I think he wants to learn something about
us based on which door we open.
Is that the game?
Someone scratches their neck and he's
watching. We say the wrong thing and he
stumbles on his words.
He has a flame flickers and it captures
his attention. What
have you been looking for?
What have you found? If I'm right, then
the only thing that matters right now is
what we actually believe.
Yeah, because I think your rhetoric is
thin. Your garage sale board gave
metaphors kind of offensive.
I mean, you ask why Judaism only makes up
0.2% of the world's population but didn't
even pause for the Holocaust.
You make no acknowledgment of the
religious persecution Jewish people have
faced. You just use it as a setup to a
punchline about missionaries.
And then you skip over the fact that none
of this addresses Islam as Muslims don't
even believe Christ was resurrected.
And then you point out all the
similarities these mythological gods have
with Jesus but breeze over the many
glaring differences.
One of these guys has
a freaking bird head.
I don't think that my point of view fits
into belief or disbelief.
I think there's an entire spectrum that
you came this neglecting.
So it doesn't matter
what I believe, does it?
Sister Paxton, do you believe in God?
Yes.
But let's leave through here.
Let's be honest and sincere in that God
to solve what happens next for us.
Okay, everybody. Now, thank you for all
your mentorship and thank
you for letting us leave.
Sister, it's okay. I'm going to step out
of time. We'll go slow.
(ominous music)
Mrs. Rink, say you.
(ominous music)
What's happening to her?
(ominous music)
But every
I'll be over
Are you straight?
Where are you?
(ominous music)
Just like an angel
Seems to cry
And you are
In my sharp scratch
♪249 to cross the road
(ominous music)
Oh God.
(ominous music)
(dramatic music)
I wanna have a picture of the world
It's so very special
But I'm a dream
I wanna know
What's the matter to him
When I'm alive
(gagging)
I had to be sure before
I introduced you to her.
She's a good one.
You are now in the presence
of a living prophet of God.
(dramatic music)
The reason I invited you
into my sanctuary tonight
is because I have been shown a miracle.
I believe this miracle is proof
that all known religions
have demonstrably forced
and only an ancient
echo of something true.
I need a witness, you, to
verify that the miracle is real.
(dramatic music)
Now, our family
recipe for blueberry pies,
I think traditional
one ingredients include
butter flour, cornstarch,
sugar, lemon, blueberries,
of course, but tonight I've
also included some wolf's bang
and some balladona, which
means that in a short while
the prophet will be dead
from consuming the pie.
(dramatic music)
Then you will witness a miracle.
By the grace of God,
she will be resurrected.
(gagging)
(dramatic music)
Now, fill her pots, please.
Both of you.
(dramatic music)
I need you to feel her pulse right now.
Acknowledge, please, that her heart has
now stopped pumping.
Do you know how to do that?
Index middle finger
on the side of the neck
in a soft hollow area
just beside the blue pie.
Both of you, please,
lift her head to the shore.
(dramatic music)
(sniffing)
(crying)
No, that's just a catalytic spasm.
She's alive.
No, no, no, no, she had chemicals
being released into her body.
Acknowledge, please,
that there's no pulse.
Acknowledge.
Thank you.
Acknowledge that she
is no longer breathing.
You feel her breath.
No, no.
So she's dead?
Yeah.
Okay, thank you.
A moment longer and you
will witness a resurrection.
She'll return and she will tell us
what she saw in the afterlife.
That's the perfect moment.
(crying)
Hello.
(crying)
(speaking in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
You're all dirty.
(dramatic music)
Waster cream.
Right now, no, the answer's the card.
(dramatic music)
(knocking)
He's coming back.
It's okay, it's okay.
(screaming)
Come here.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, he's at the back.
No, I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm just in the neighborhood
looking for two young ladies
from my church.
Oh.
Is everything all right?
(screaming)
Here.
I'm sure everything's
fine, I just wonder if they
stand by.
No, I'm sorry to say you are the first
house quarter I've had all day, son.
Did you see this?
It's locked.
(dramatic music)
Help, help.
We can pull through the matches.
We start a fire, so God speaking,
I have to make sure that you're not
turning through here.
Okay, but you did ask
for more information
on the church, right?
This is which church?
The church of Jesus Christ, not here.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
(dramatic music)
Is there some other way I can help?
Do you want to use my phone?
Call the police.
I can get my phone.
I hope you don't look around.
I'm sure they're not far.
Thank you for your time.
All right, well, good luck.
Yeah, let me know.
(dramatic music)
Get out of here.
(dramatic music)
He's coming.
(dramatic music)
Yeah, yeah, any luck?
(dramatic music)
She moved.
(dramatic music)
My favorite car.
(dramatic music)
Are you remembering her wrong?
She hasn't moved at all.
Her head is different.
That's where she was.
It's not.
This is not her memory.
Please, please come on.
No.
(dramatic music)
I beat Remus.
I didn't ask you one question.
(dramatic music)
Have you received this booklet?
I have not, but I will
give you a look, see.
(dramatic music)
No, no.
Turns.
My name, why, how, not heaven.
(dramatic music)
It is not heaven.
Be here.
And thank you, Prophet.
We are very grateful for
your message to the other side.
Your prophecy will be recorded
into our literature of text.
Hmm?
Oh, you must be in this hospital.
Take my own.
(dramatic music) (dramatic music)
Well now, we say this
is rather interesting
because I know that
one of you has been lying
since you first got here.
And do you know how I
know that, excuse me,
can I take that?
I know, from the bay, that
fire reacts to each of you.
A,
B, yeah, one of you has a
very, very, very big secret,
but we will know more soon.
There will be, before we saw a woman die
and come back to life,
and there will be, after.
Books will be written about it.
So choose your word
very carefully when I ask.
What are you with this?
Tell me, tell me what you saw.
How did she?
No, no, no, if you didn't see something,
don't tell me, you
absolutely must tell me.
I don't know.
Because if I'm wrong, I need to hear it.
That's why you're--
It's a contrived experiment.
Where are your prisoners?
It doesn't make sense
for us to have an opinion.
You must know by now that any of us
can leave whatever we want.
But why would we want
after what we've seen?
Sorry.
I saw, I heard her describe
and she experienced it on the other side.
Right, what did you hear?
She said there was a conductor.
Yes.
Did she mean angel?
Yeah.
She had a feeling of disassociation,
a feeling that something wasn't real.
That's it?
For now you know.
Now we know.
Yeah, now you know.
No?
I can show you God.
If you're willing to.
It could be painless.
It could be temporary.
Like the prophet, you
could be brought back.
Doesn't have to be frightening at all.
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you what's frightening.
Not that you're frightened.
Where do we come from?
What are we doing here?
What's our purpose?
The terror of those
questions is why religions exist.
I can answer those questions for you.
I can give you a comfort.
No religion in the world
is capable of giving you.
It all makes sense now.
I've been asking myself all night,
how is he gonna make killing us our idea?
Sister Barnes, you're in a muddle.
I know, I can't tell if
you're playing chess or checkers.
Monopoly?
Come on, it was right there.
You didn't show us a miracle.
Okay, what did I show you?
That wasn't a miracle.
So you said, what did you say?
What did I show you?
That was not a miracle.
What did I show you?
It was a magic trick.
A magic trick.
You all know why we
don't talk about Taco Bell?
They killed me when I was four years old.
50 people were
hospitalized from an E. coli outbreak.
My kids at school call it Big Taco Health
because I was clinically dead
while doctors operated on my kidneys.
When I was dead, I saw
exactly what your prophet described.
A blinding white light,
clouds but not heaven,
a sense of wanting to return,
a feeling that my state
of reality wasn't real.
That wasn't a prophecy.
That was a near-death experience.
When the oxygen leaves your brain
or your heart stops pumping,
your mind creates unbelievable things.
I think you've been keeping this woman
on the edge of death in
order to ask her questions
about meaningless hallucinations
so that you can substantiate your idea
of what the one true religion really is.
Did you know that when
you remember something
you're really in ear
remembering the last time
you remember that experience?
You're not actually recording the event.
So your memory of dying at Taco Health
isn't really of dying.
It's of the memory of
the memory of the memory
of the memory of the
memory stopping of that event.
So you're remembering a false correlation
with the experience
you've just witnessed.
But this, this is happening right now.
That's why I think,
Sister Barnes, Sister Baxter,
that you really need to pay attention
because I promise you,
we're not talking about a magic trick.
No, we're talking
about magic under what--
(bell dings)
(eerie music)
(screaming)
So come back to us.
I promise.
Sister Baxter, do not
forget you were right again.
I like you.
Come on now, Sister B.
Wiki Wiki.
(whooping)
No, that's not it,
that's not it, that's not it.
A mucky pot.
It's not there.
Bones, it'll be bones.
It's the one of you drunk, yeah.
What?
Hey.
I'm very sorry.
Something is wrong.
I'm not worried.
She's not coming back to us.
Yeah.
(dramatic music)
Yep, yep, yep.
There it is.
No, it doesn't, it's out of the vein.
(laughing)
(dramatic music)
The implant.
This is why she can't come back to us.
Take a look.
I'm very sorry.
But Sister Barnes, she's a programmer.
She's not real.
She will give you away the candles.
Why are you saying that?
Why are you still--
No, no, I know, I know, I know.
How could you?
(dramatic music)
Can you explain it to me?
Are you, Sister Paxton,
familiar with the DICE concept
of the butterfly dream?
Butterfly.
Butterfly pops his
wings and causes a typhoon?
That is the butterfly
effect, common mistake.
The butterfly dream
concerns an ancient Chinese philosopher
who asked himself the following question.
Was I a man dreaming of
a butterfly or am I now?
A butterfly?
Dreaming that I am a man.
Come and sit down.
Don't, yes.
This is us.
You and me are known together.
That was Barnes.
Bye-bye, Barnes.
I have come to a dark realization
that we exist inside a
simulation so advanced
that we cannot tell the
difference between real life
and artificial dream.
You heard the prophet,
she said, "It is not real."
You see, fire dynamics are
very difficult to render.
I've noticed a anomaly in its behavior
when it interacts with simulated NPCs
like poor old Sister Bee.
She couldn't come back
to us, but when you die,
finger please, you
will pass through death
and wake up into the real world.
What do you think?
Yes, no, maybe?
That's so scary.
Well, you're very welcome to,
to challenge my premise, I love that.
Go for it.
I don't think this is a microchip.
I think it's a contraceptive.
A birth control implant.
Huh.
Tell me, have you ever
met a Mormon missionary
who was on birth control?
Did Sister Barnes say
she was on birth control?
Her church would have made
her feel ashamed about it
and she would have been too embarrassed.
Simulation theory is--
Hypothesis, please,
sorry, it doesn't matter.
Simulation hypothesis?
Is not testable, is it?
No, it's a matter of
belief, like any religion.
You might believe it, bring it to all,
or you don't believe it, couple to all.
With all due respect, I don't believe it.
I'm not smart enough to
say why, I just don't.
Do you believe the
miracle that I showed you?
Yes.
At first?
But now?
I think something happened
tonight that you didn't expect.
It feels like you're improvising,
trying to convince me
of a simulation theory
that's not sticking, am I right?
Are you asking me if you're right
that I am improvising for your right
that the simulation
narrative is not sticking?
Yes.
High five.
So in fact, you agree with your friend,
you think that the
prophet was just hallucinating
a meaningless near death experience?
No.
I think he switched the bodies.
I just haven't figured out how yet.
I switched the bodies.
The doorbell rang
when the elder got here.
Which drew our attention to the stairs.
He would have been prepared for that.
When he came back downstairs,
I noticed the woman was in
the same position as before.
It was similar, but it
was not the exact same.
I think another woman
who looked exactly like her
came into the basement
through a hidden door
or something, disposed of her body
and then took her place at the table.
I see.
And then once we got back downstairs,
she ran off a scripted prophecy
that you prepared for her.
Except the last thing she
said was, "It is not real."
Maybe she was trying to tell us that the
miracle wasn't real.
You see what I mean when
I say something happened
that you didn't expect?
I think you gave her a
script and she went off a book
and now you're trying to recover.
Well, if that's right, then, uh,
there'd have to be another
way into this basement, huh?
Shall we have a look?
I don't think there is.
No?
I'm not doing very well
with this deposit, hmm?
Unless...
(eerie music)
Which means that...
there would have to be a dead body down
there, if you're right.
Okay.
How will you test your theory?
I don't know.
But will you go into that hole and see if
there's somebody down there?
If I have to.
Why would you do that?
Because I want to know the truth.
And because the only way out is through.
Robert Frost?
Swamp thing.
Don't go into that cellar.
Unless you are prepared to
discover the one true religion.
(eerie music)
(sighs)
I knew it.
(eerie music)
(eerie music) (eerie music)
(eerie music)
(eerie music) (eerie music)
(eerie music)
(eerie music) (eerie music) (eerie music)
(eerie music)
(eerie music) (eerie music)
(eerie music) It's not cold.
Have you figured it out yet?
I think so.
So what is it?
What is the one true religion, Sister P?
It's...
(eerie music)
When we first arrived,
you left us alone in your living room.
We thought you were talking to your wife,
but you were doing something else.
I was.
You took a key from Sister Barnes' comb,
went outside to unlock
our bikes and hide them.
(eerie music)
I noticed your hair was wet when you came
back with the drinks
that you were around in the store.
And it decided so because
you didn't want the elder
to find our bikes when you
came back looking for us.
But there was
something else on your mind.
There was.
You returned the bike
key to a wrong coat pocket.
You thought this was a mistake you made.
But now I know it once holds.
Why?
You gave the bike lock
to one of your prophets,
instructed them to lock the final cell
into our living room.
But why, why, why, why did I do that?
Because you wanted me to know.
The only reason I'm
standing here right now
is because it is exactly
where you want me to be standing.
I'm not here because I chose to be.
I'm here because you
made me choose to be.
Because you want me to believe that one
true religion is control.
(dramatic music)
That is exactly right.
Religion is just a system of control.
It's okay. I'm not here.
You see, that's what's so interesting.
They don't want your help.
They didn't know exactly
where they chose to be.
But you killed that woman.
I disagree.
She chose to eat a poisoned pie because
of her profound fate.
It is called drinking the-- anyone?
Kool-Aid.
It is true that I keep
these ladies a little chilly
in the little package, which I'm very
sorry, sorry ladies.
Only for the same reason
that your church goes to Haiti
to give out Bibles after America.
It's easier to control
someone who has lost everything.
You're absolutely right,
she need to go off broke.
(glass breaking) Why did you do this?
The question is, why do you all let me?
(crying)
Sorry.
You are here because the
ideas of others have influenced
every single decision you've made since
the day you were born,
and I've been able to predict every
decision you'd make tonight
because of that.
(crying)
You were allowed to dictate every
decision of your life.
They decide who you worship, where you
worship, what you worship.
They even dictate the
garments you wear on your clothes.
Why?
Go and let it under.
(crying)
(dramatic music)
(crying)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(sniffing)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(dramatic music)
Pray.
Pray for us.
Pray.
Does it work?
(sniffing)
(sighing)
Have you ever heard of
the great prayer experiment?
They divided patients into groups,
those who received
prayers and those who didn't.
(dramatic music) The results of the study were conclusive.
It doesn't work.
But I think it's beautiful that we all
pray for each other.
Even though we all probably know
it doesn't make a difference.
(grunting)
It's just nice to think about someone
other than yourself.
Even if it's you.
(grunting)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(dramatic music)
My sister.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music) (dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music) (dramatic music)