1
00:02:01,598 --> 00:02:02,791
Lacy.
2
00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:15,369
Hi.
3
00:02:15,471 --> 00:02:17,278
I'm gonna kill myself.
4
00:02:21,043 --> 00:02:23,878
I said I'm gonna kill myself
if you don't come get me.
5
00:02:34,765 --> 00:02:35,822
♪ He said to me
6
00:02:35,924 --> 00:02:37,424
-♪ He said to me
7
00:02:37,526 --> 00:02:38,997
♪ Don't take a sip
8
00:02:39,099 --> 00:02:40,569
♪ Don't take a sip
9
00:02:40,671 --> 00:02:41,933
♪ For if you do
10
00:02:42,035 --> 00:02:43,364
♪ For if you do
11
00:02:43,466 --> 00:02:44,838
♪ I'll surely slip
12
00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:46,304
♪ I'll surely slip
13
00:02:46,406 --> 00:02:52,145
♪ He said to me,
don't take a sip
14
00:02:52,247 --> 00:02:57,546
♪ For if you do,
I'll surely slip
15
00:02:57,648 --> 00:03:00,782
- ♪ I took a sip
- ♪ I took a sip
16
00:03:00,884 --> 00:03:03,653
- ♪ And he went down
- ♪ And he went down
17
00:03:03,755 --> 00:03:06,624
- ♪ Down to my belly
- ♪ Down to my belly
18
00:03:06,726 --> 00:03:09,624
- ♪ He might have drowned
- ♪ He might have drowned
19
00:03:09,726 --> 00:03:15,532
♪ I took a sip
and he went down
20
00:03:15,635 --> 00:03:21,738
♪ Into my belly,
he might have drowned ♪
21
00:03:23,674 --> 00:03:25,511
It was
a motorcycle accident.
22
00:03:27,817 --> 00:03:29,383
I'm so sorry, Lacy.
23
00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:32,316
It's really sad.
24
00:03:32,418 --> 00:03:34,586
But he and I
aren't very close.
25
00:03:45,827 --> 00:03:48,400
I hope your stepdad
gets better.
26
00:03:48,502 --> 00:03:50,635
He's actually
just her boyfriend.
27
00:03:56,044 --> 00:03:57,378
You can have this one.
28
00:04:08,088 --> 00:04:09,786
That's so nice.
29
00:04:13,126 --> 00:04:14,494
I don't wanna go.
30
00:04:15,393 --> 00:04:16,694
Is that your mom?
31
00:04:19,895 --> 00:04:22,436
-Yeah.
-Can we meet her?
32
00:04:23,868 --> 00:04:26,000
Mm, I don't think
that's a good idea.
33
00:05:16,486 --> 00:05:18,124
Why is Wayne here?
34
00:05:18,226 --> 00:05:19,326
I'm not gonna kick Wayne out
35
00:05:19,429 --> 00:05:21,726
because you decided
to come home from camp.
36
00:05:26,429 --> 00:05:28,001
I wanna stay.
37
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:29,603
I've changed my mind.
38
00:05:29,972 --> 00:05:31,701
You can't do that.
39
00:05:31,803 --> 00:05:34,035
I thought nobody liked me,
but I was wrong.
40
00:05:37,673 --> 00:05:39,381
This is a bad pattern.
41
00:05:40,414 --> 00:05:41,446
And I've already
convinced them
42
00:05:41,548 --> 00:05:43,550
to give me part
of my deposit back.
43
00:06:04,006 --> 00:06:04,932
♪ Up on the river
44
00:06:05,035 --> 00:06:09,576
♪ Along with the miracle man
that I am
45
00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:11,643
♪ With true found lovers
46
00:06:11,745 --> 00:06:16,847
♪ And true found brothers
of man in the plan
47
00:06:16,949 --> 00:06:22,954
♪ I don't know what I did
But I did and I am, I am
48
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:26,290
♪ I don't know where you go
when you're sad
49
00:06:26,392 --> 00:06:29,227
♪ But I ride, ride, ride
50
00:06:29,329 --> 00:06:32,466
♪ Everything lies inside
51
00:06:32,568 --> 00:06:35,435
♪ Leave all your cares
and troubles behind
52
00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:38,698
♪ I don't care
what you've got to hide
53
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,068
♪ Yes, ride, ride, ride
54
00:06:42,171 --> 00:06:44,974
♪ Roll out the train
for the liberty line
55
00:06:45,076 --> 00:06:48,481
♪ You'll be giving me yours
I'll be giving you mine
56
00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:51,552
♪ I don't care
what you've been denied ♪
57
00:08:27,283 --> 00:08:28,880
Where did you grow up?
58
00:08:33,255 --> 00:08:34,314
South Carolina.
59
00:08:54,441 --> 00:08:56,677
I don't wanna fall asleep.
60
00:09:02,449 --> 00:09:04,586
Five more minutes?
61
00:09:08,823 --> 00:09:11,857
Wayne thinks it's weird
we still sleep together.
62
00:09:25,241 --> 00:09:26,905
Can I have a piece of you?
63
00:09:29,643 --> 00:09:31,808
What do you mean,
a piece of me?
64
00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:34,649
A little piece of you
to sleep with.
65
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,337
Thanks.
66
00:10:23,398 --> 00:10:24,831
Welcome home.
67
00:14:21,670 --> 00:14:23,366
Is that your daughter?
68
00:14:33,578 --> 00:14:38,348
Say "uthag" after anything
that isn't A, E, I or O or U.
69
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,382
- After a consonant?
- Yes.
70
00:14:41,485 --> 00:14:44,618
But if it's A, E, I, O, U,
you say it before.
71
00:14:45,526 --> 00:14:46,925
Before what?
72
00:14:47,027 --> 00:14:50,998
Uthagi duthago nuthagot
knothagow.
73
00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:53,799
What does that mean?
74
00:14:53,901 --> 00:14:57,136
Uthagits uthaga
suthagecruthaget.
75
00:16:40,975 --> 00:16:43,207
"Jondalar relaxed
beside Noria.
76
00:16:43,309 --> 00:16:46,074
"After a while, she sat up
and looked at him
77
00:16:46,176 --> 00:16:48,247
"with glowing lang..."
78
00:16:49,881 --> 00:16:51,210
"Languorous."
79
00:16:51,312 --> 00:16:53,282
"...languorous eyes.
80
00:16:53,384 --> 00:16:56,253
"'Jondalar, man,
Noria, woman,' she said,
81
00:16:56,356 --> 00:16:58,824
"as though she truly felt
she was a woman now
82
00:16:58,926 --> 00:17:00,523
"and leaned over to kiss him."
83
00:17:51,881 --> 00:17:55,314
Suthagee yuthagou
luthagatuthager.
84
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,449
Guthagoodbuthagye.
85
00:18:05,058 --> 00:18:06,622
So nice meeting you.
86
00:18:36,989 --> 00:18:38,522
I like Sequoia.
87
00:18:40,024 --> 00:18:41,320
That's good.
88
00:18:41,422 --> 00:18:43,362
I like Sequoia, too.
89
00:18:47,101 --> 00:18:49,170
I'd like to be friends
with her.
90
00:18:54,209 --> 00:18:56,606
I usually have a hard time
making friends.
91
00:19:07,388 --> 00:19:09,784
Why doesn't she live with you
some of the time?
92
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:23,333
Do you have any other kids?
93
00:19:23,435 --> 00:19:25,668
Wayne has a wonderful son
named Eric.
94
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:27,806
He's 20.
95
00:19:27,908 --> 00:19:29,270
Where does he live?
96
00:19:29,372 --> 00:19:32,345
Iraq. And California.
97
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,008
Eyes up here.
98
00:20:17,990 --> 00:20:19,425
Very good.
99
00:20:20,292 --> 00:20:21,988
You're ready to concentrate.
100
00:20:23,728 --> 00:20:26,161
- Mississippi hot dog.
101
00:20:26,263 --> 00:20:28,735
Mississippi hot dog.
102
00:20:28,837 --> 00:20:31,133
Mississippi hot dog.
103
00:20:31,235 --> 00:20:33,267
Mississippi hot dog.
104
00:20:33,369 --> 00:20:35,874
Mississippi hot dog.
105
00:20:35,976 --> 00:20:37,872
Mississippi hot dog.
106
00:21:52,281 --> 00:21:53,453
Better.
107
00:21:54,685 --> 00:21:57,420
You're using the fat part
of your thumb.
108
00:21:57,522 --> 00:21:59,492
You need to stay
right on the edge.
109
00:22:02,557 --> 00:22:05,124
This little man...
110
00:22:07,729 --> 00:22:09,700
should be kissing the keys.
111
00:23:50,931 --> 00:23:53,133
Something's wrong with Wayne.
112
00:25:48,587 --> 00:25:50,720
Wayne has a migraine.
113
00:25:50,822 --> 00:25:53,323
I think you should
go back to bed.
114
00:25:53,425 --> 00:25:54,892
What's a migraine?
115
00:25:56,198 --> 00:25:57,829
A really bad headache.
116
00:25:58,730 --> 00:26:00,494
You had a headache
yesterday.
117
00:26:00,596 --> 00:26:01,932
Yes.
118
00:26:03,505 --> 00:26:05,738
He thinks maybe
I transferred it to him.
119
00:26:12,610 --> 00:26:14,373
It's too hot for tea.
120
00:26:35,567 --> 00:26:37,231
Turn off the light.
121
00:26:50,549 --> 00:26:52,147
What's she doing here?
122
00:26:52,915 --> 00:26:54,919
Lacy, go back to bed.
123
00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:58,890
Close the door.
124
00:27:06,462 --> 00:27:08,933
Why doesn't Sequoia live
with you part of the time?
125
00:27:10,935 --> 00:27:12,534
Please get her
out of here.
126
00:27:12,636 --> 00:27:14,433
Lacy, leave.
127
00:27:18,973 --> 00:27:20,912
Is she still here?
128
00:27:28,618 --> 00:27:30,218
I need quiet.
129
00:27:32,260 --> 00:27:33,958
I need to be alone.
130
00:27:36,125 --> 00:27:38,927
My head is splitting open.
131
00:27:39,029 --> 00:27:41,928
Do you know what
a migraine feels like?
132
00:27:42,030 --> 00:27:43,767
What does it feel like?
133
00:27:43,869 --> 00:27:45,802
Please
get her out of here.
134
00:27:45,904 --> 00:27:48,937
I can't listen to her voice
right now.
135
00:27:49,039 --> 00:27:51,211
But I'm not trying
to talk to you.
136
00:27:51,313 --> 00:27:52,809
Lacy, get out!
137
00:27:52,911 --> 00:27:54,006
I'm not trying
to talk to you!
138
00:27:54,108 --> 00:27:55,609
I'm not trying to talk to you!
139
00:27:55,711 --> 00:27:57,482
Get out!
140
00:27:57,585 --> 00:27:58,779
I wasn't
saying anything!
141
00:27:58,881 --> 00:28:00,551
I wasn't talking to you!
142
00:29:40,950 --> 00:29:42,548
So what do I do?
143
00:29:47,059 --> 00:29:48,994
You want me
to tell you what to do?
144
00:29:52,795 --> 00:29:54,065
Yes.
145
00:30:02,876 --> 00:30:05,043
I think you have
to break up with him.
146
00:31:20,819 --> 00:31:22,417
I'm done with Book One.
147
00:31:29,795 --> 00:31:31,657
Congratulations, honey.
148
00:31:45,647 --> 00:31:47,244
Can I hold your hand?
149
00:31:51,281 --> 00:31:53,453
It's kind of hard for me
to fall asleep
150
00:31:53,555 --> 00:31:55,153
when we're holding hands.
151
00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:58,057
How about for a minute?
152
00:32:20,846 --> 00:32:22,345
You know what's funny?
153
00:32:24,649 --> 00:32:25,744
What?
154
00:32:29,450 --> 00:32:32,124
Every moment of my life
is hell.
155
00:32:38,462 --> 00:32:40,759
I don't like it
when you say things like that.
156
00:32:42,536 --> 00:32:44,268
But it is.
157
00:32:50,541 --> 00:32:53,541
You actually seem very happy
to me a lot of the time.
158
00:32:57,612 --> 00:33:00,680
It's hell. I don't think
it'll last, though.
159
00:33:19,203 --> 00:33:21,371
I'm actually
pretty unhappy, too.
160
00:33:45,796 --> 00:33:46,759
Hey.
161
00:33:54,042 --> 00:33:55,834
Don't turn on the light.
162
00:34:22,698 --> 00:34:24,334
The worst part of this for me
163
00:34:24,436 --> 00:34:27,305
is that I really wanted
to see Sequoia again.
164
00:37:59,886 --> 00:38:01,387
I know her.
165
00:39:36,746 --> 00:39:39,182
♪ What experience
has made you
166
00:39:39,284 --> 00:39:41,553
Everything is a door.
167
00:39:43,622 --> 00:39:46,224
What experience
has made you suffer most?
168
00:39:48,821 --> 00:39:52,432
If to drink tastes bitter,
169
00:39:53,296 --> 00:39:55,296
become wine.
170
00:39:55,398 --> 00:39:58,563
♪ Become wine
171
00:39:58,665 --> 00:40:00,803
Let the magic powers
172
00:40:01,471 --> 00:40:03,338
of this night's excess...
173
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,409
♪ Magic powers
174
00:40:05,511 --> 00:40:08,778
...at the crossroads
of your senses,
175
00:40:10,010 --> 00:40:16,651
give meaning
to this strange encounter.
176
00:40:16,753 --> 00:40:19,324
♪ Crossroads
of your senses
177
00:40:19,426 --> 00:40:22,759
When the world
has long forgotten you,
178
00:40:24,264 --> 00:40:26,492
to the silent earth, say...
179
00:40:26,594 --> 00:40:28,495
♪ Encounter ♪
180
00:40:28,597 --> 00:40:30,195
"I am flowing.
181
00:40:32,071 --> 00:40:33,506
"I am flowing.
182
00:40:34,107 --> 00:40:36,707
"I am flowing!"
183
00:40:37,904 --> 00:40:40,711
To the rushing waters, speak:
184
00:40:41,915 --> 00:40:43,175
"I am.
185
00:40:44,115 --> 00:40:45,518
"I am!
186
00:40:47,353 --> 00:40:50,116
-"I... am."
187
00:40:53,861 --> 00:40:55,055
Something
188
00:40:55,722 --> 00:40:58,729
is about to happen.
189
00:42:10,471 --> 00:42:11,666
Well, a number of you
have asked me
190
00:42:11,768 --> 00:42:13,272
why we call
what we did tonight
191
00:42:13,374 --> 00:42:15,201
a service
and not a performance.
192
00:42:17,539 --> 00:42:19,304
Well, um...
193
00:42:21,415 --> 00:42:24,182
We think of our work
as a funeral
194
00:42:24,284 --> 00:42:26,751
and also as a celebration.
195
00:42:27,752 --> 00:42:29,816
We're in service for you,
and with you,
196
00:42:29,918 --> 00:42:31,888
to collectively process
and mourn
197
00:42:31,990 --> 00:42:36,288
our nihilistic, materialistic,
dead and asleep culture.
198
00:42:37,864 --> 00:42:40,732
And we're here to celebrate
radical, impersonal love.
199
00:42:42,197 --> 00:42:44,400
Because that's the deepest
source of political
200
00:42:44,502 --> 00:42:46,298
and spiritual resistance.
201
00:42:47,373 --> 00:42:48,608
- Right?
-Yes.
202
00:42:48,710 --> 00:42:50,002
Don't forget...
What about the table?
203
00:42:50,104 --> 00:42:52,404
- Tell them about the table.
- Oh. Yeah.
204
00:42:52,506 --> 00:42:55,243
We also want you to leave with
some really good zucchini.
205
00:42:56,242 --> 00:42:57,580
We grew too much of it
over the summer
206
00:42:57,682 --> 00:42:58,913
and we're trying
to get rid of it.
207
00:42:59,015 --> 00:43:02,650
So, it's on the picnic table
on your way out.
208
00:43:02,752 --> 00:43:05,185
So, uh, leave a donation or...
209
00:43:06,690 --> 00:43:08,960
Please, just take a zucchini.
210
00:43:54,101 --> 00:43:56,604
She was in a relationship
with Avi.
211
00:43:56,706 --> 00:43:59,039
The guy with the beard?
212
00:43:59,142 --> 00:44:01,846
Then she broke things off
with him, but he...
213
00:44:03,751 --> 00:44:07,011
Well, I wouldn't go so far
as to call it a cult,
214
00:44:07,113 --> 00:44:09,148
and Regina insists it isn't,
215
00:44:09,250 --> 00:44:10,715
and they're actually
really wonderful...
216
00:44:10,817 --> 00:44:12,219
What's a cult?
217
00:44:13,127 --> 00:44:14,424
Mm...
218
00:44:14,526 --> 00:44:16,861
Good question.
219
00:44:17,627 --> 00:44:19,731
A group of people
220
00:44:19,833 --> 00:44:23,734
who all gather around
and maybe worship someone,
221
00:44:23,836 --> 00:44:27,234
like he's a religious figure
or something.
222
00:44:28,641 --> 00:44:31,272
And they usually
all live together.
223
00:44:31,374 --> 00:44:34,175
And you know these people do
all live together at the farm.
224
00:44:35,483 --> 00:44:37,475
And he's slept
with a lot of...
225
00:44:38,847 --> 00:44:40,379
Hold on, what is that?
226
00:44:44,556 --> 00:44:46,454
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
227
00:44:46,556 --> 00:44:47,991
What is it?
228
00:44:50,631 --> 00:44:52,226
I need
to find my tweezers.
229
00:44:55,567 --> 00:44:57,132
What is it?
230
00:45:06,445 --> 00:45:07,945
It's still alive.
231
00:45:20,789 --> 00:45:22,454
Die, tick, die.
232
00:46:40,037 --> 00:46:41,566
How long were you and Will
together?
233
00:46:42,938 --> 00:46:45,538
- Three years.
- Oh, wow.
234
00:46:46,041 --> 00:46:47,375
And where does he live now?
235
00:46:47,477 --> 00:46:50,107
He moved to New Mexico to be
closer to his grandchildren.
236
00:46:50,209 --> 00:46:53,050
- Grandchildren?
- I know.
237
00:46:54,216 --> 00:46:56,020
And when did you get
your license?
238
00:46:56,818 --> 00:46:59,353
Mm... five...
239
00:47:00,321 --> 00:47:03,124
no, yeah,
four-and-a-half years ago.
240
00:47:03,226 --> 00:47:04,889
- Will you do some work on me?
- Of course.
241
00:47:04,991 --> 00:47:06,398
I can't pay you.
242
00:47:06,500 --> 00:47:08,030
You're not paying me.
243
00:47:08,133 --> 00:47:09,627
And you're not paying
for the room, either.
244
00:47:11,334 --> 00:47:14,874
You're a beautiful person,
Janet. You really are.
245
00:47:17,275 --> 00:47:20,272
Do you remember meeting me
when you were two years old?
246
00:47:20,374 --> 00:47:21,611
I don't think
it's possible
247
00:47:21,713 --> 00:47:23,179
for her to remember that.
248
00:47:24,385 --> 00:47:25,643
You seem familiar.
249
00:47:26,582 --> 00:47:27,645
See?
250
00:47:29,187 --> 00:47:30,687
Lacy, how do you feel
about me staying here?
251
00:47:30,789 --> 00:47:33,155
Is that all right with you?
252
00:47:33,257 --> 00:47:35,659
It's okay with me if we go
on some adventures.
253
00:47:35,761 --> 00:47:36,860
Lacy's always talking about
254
00:47:36,962 --> 00:47:39,258
how we don't go
on enough adventures.
255
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,230
I'll take you
on some adventures.
256
00:48:01,154 --> 00:48:03,417
It's hard when there's a
five-year gap on your resume.
257
00:48:03,519 --> 00:48:06,387
But I actually do have a lot
of waitressing experience.
258
00:48:07,994 --> 00:48:10,388
You were an actress
for five years.
259
00:48:10,490 --> 00:48:12,426
D'Angelo's doesn't care
about that.
260
00:48:13,900 --> 00:48:15,393
My mom had
a lot of different jobs
261
00:48:15,495 --> 00:48:18,936
before she got
her acupuncture license.
262
00:48:19,038 --> 00:48:20,805
Yeah, but do you know
your mom got $30,000
263
00:48:20,907 --> 00:48:23,074
from your grandfather
when he died?
264
00:48:24,372 --> 00:48:26,176
That's how she could
go back to school.
265
00:48:30,110 --> 00:48:31,478
Do you want kids?
266
00:48:33,420 --> 00:48:34,918
Probably not.
267
00:48:35,020 --> 00:48:37,154
Do lots of people
fall in love with you?
268
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:39,451
Why do you say that?
269
00:48:39,553 --> 00:48:43,287
Mm, lots of people
fall in love with my mom.
270
00:48:43,389 --> 00:48:46,229
Well, your mom is fantastic.
271
00:48:47,428 --> 00:48:49,795
But she also has
terrible taste in men.
272
00:48:49,897 --> 00:48:51,135
Yeah.
273
00:48:51,969 --> 00:48:54,171
- You think so, too?
- Yeah.
274
00:48:55,603 --> 00:48:58,736
The guy she just broke up with
sounds awful.
275
00:48:59,940 --> 00:49:01,145
Yeah.
276
00:49:02,042 --> 00:49:03,510
He was okay.
277
00:49:09,285 --> 00:49:11,320
Someone lit himself
on fire here.
278
00:49:12,921 --> 00:49:14,191
Wait, where?
279
00:49:14,825 --> 00:49:16,661
On the town common.
280
00:49:16,764 --> 00:49:18,662
Why'd he light himself
on fire?
281
00:49:18,764 --> 00:49:20,560
He was against the war.
282
00:49:28,303 --> 00:49:30,336
That always
makes me think about
283
00:49:30,438 --> 00:49:33,342
- spontaneous combustion.
- What's that?
284
00:49:35,308 --> 00:49:36,675
It's like where you, like,
285
00:49:37,577 --> 00:49:40,278
explode or disappear
or catch on fire,
286
00:49:40,380 --> 00:49:43,220
but there's no explanation.
287
00:49:50,060 --> 00:49:52,691
Let's go to the ice-cream shop
288
00:49:54,328 --> 00:49:57,333
- and then go home.
- Okay.
289
00:49:57,435 --> 00:49:59,670
Wouldn't you rather be
hanging out with your friends?
290
00:49:59,772 --> 00:50:01,573
I don't have any friends.
291
00:50:01,675 --> 00:50:03,807
- Why?
- I don't know.
292
00:50:03,909 --> 00:50:05,671
It's a complete mystery to me.
293
00:52:41,231 --> 00:52:43,334
♪ If I were the president
294
00:52:44,234 --> 00:52:46,337
♪ If I were queen for a day
295
00:52:48,370 --> 00:52:50,737
♪ I'd give the ugly people
296
00:52:52,009 --> 00:52:53,509
♪ All the money
297
00:52:54,740 --> 00:52:57,513
♪ I'd rewrite
the Book of Love
298
00:52:58,511 --> 00:53:00,285
♪ I'd make it funny
299
00:53:00,951 --> 00:53:02,017
I got a job.
300
00:53:02,119 --> 00:53:03,849
♪ Wheel of fortune ♪
301
00:53:05,787 --> 00:53:07,752
...there is an evolution here,
302
00:53:07,854 --> 00:53:10,157
and that we are
a part of the evolution.
303
00:53:10,259 --> 00:53:12,527
And the self of woman
304
00:53:12,629 --> 00:53:15,629
that is articulated now
and conceptualized,
305
00:53:15,731 --> 00:53:17,662
and the possible life patterns
of women taking
306
00:53:17,764 --> 00:53:19,671
our own experience
seriously...
307
00:53:21,972 --> 00:53:23,503
Don't answer it.
308
00:53:23,605 --> 00:53:25,937
And what if it's someone
calling for us?
309
00:53:26,605 --> 00:53:28,213
They can leave a message.
310
00:53:28,315 --> 00:53:30,215
...sharing
our experience here,
311
00:53:30,317 --> 00:53:34,578
in forums like this,
when it isn't that...
312
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,453
What do you think he wants?
313
00:53:37,650 --> 00:53:40,419
Avi is ultimately harmless.
314
00:53:40,521 --> 00:53:42,327
He just wants me to come back.
315
00:53:43,226 --> 00:53:44,830
What if you talked to him?
316
00:53:44,932 --> 00:53:46,262
I don't want to talk to him.
317
00:53:46,364 --> 00:53:48,430
...seem to us as serious
318
00:53:48,533 --> 00:53:50,728
as the problems
that we started out with.
319
00:53:50,830 --> 00:53:54,070
But they must be met
and articulated
320
00:53:54,172 --> 00:53:56,536
and we must be tuning it in,
321
00:53:56,638 --> 00:53:58,435
tuning our rhetoric in
for life.
322
00:53:58,537 --> 00:54:00,238
Do I need this much?
323
00:54:00,340 --> 00:54:01,543
This is nothing.
324
00:54:01,645 --> 00:54:03,644
You could take three times
this much and be fine.
325
00:54:03,746 --> 00:54:05,615
You could take five times
this much and be fine.
326
00:54:05,717 --> 00:54:08,112
... then we are
on the right political track.
327
00:54:08,214 --> 00:54:12,121
If it doesn't open lines,
if it isn't true to our own...
328
00:54:12,223 --> 00:54:13,722
It's to help sleep tonight.
329
00:54:13,824 --> 00:54:16,259
...then we have to go
back to the drawing board.
330
00:54:16,361 --> 00:54:18,358
And this is
what we must do now
331
00:54:18,461 --> 00:54:20,591
because Erin Kaplan is right.
332
00:54:20,693 --> 00:54:22,826
It is fragile, our victory.
333
00:54:22,928 --> 00:54:25,569
It is fragile,
the basic covenant
334
00:54:25,671 --> 00:54:28,305
that we could move from here
and that our daughters...
335
00:54:28,407 --> 00:54:32,242
Well, the short version is,
when I was 15,
336
00:54:32,344 --> 00:54:35,106
Mum died
and I moved in with my dad.
337
00:54:35,208 --> 00:54:37,574
And things were going well,
I mean, relatively speaking,
338
00:54:37,676 --> 00:54:38,844
I made some new friends
339
00:54:38,946 --> 00:54:40,548
and I started hanging out
with these older kids.
340
00:54:40,650 --> 00:54:46,016
I guess one of them was 19,
or 20, maybe.
341
00:54:46,118 --> 00:54:48,855
And then someone sent my dad
an anonymous letter.
342
00:54:48,957 --> 00:54:51,489
It said something like...
I mean, I read it at the time.
343
00:54:51,591 --> 00:54:53,899
It said something like...
344
00:54:54,001 --> 00:54:56,027
"Your daughter is, you know,
345
00:54:56,129 --> 00:54:58,433
"hanging out with bad
characters and doing drugs,
346
00:54:58,535 --> 00:55:00,335
"and you should do
something about it."
347
00:55:00,437 --> 00:55:03,075
And this letter
was the beginning
348
00:55:03,177 --> 00:55:05,344
of the two worst years
of my life.
349
00:55:06,376 --> 00:55:07,575
You already know this part.
350
00:55:07,677 --> 00:55:08,705
It was the reason
they sent me to Ireland
351
00:55:08,807 --> 00:55:10,041
to live with my grandparents,
352
00:55:10,143 --> 00:55:12,483
which is, of course, when
I had my nervous breakdown.
353
00:55:14,482 --> 00:55:17,452
Anyway, two years ago,
354
00:55:17,554 --> 00:55:19,688
which is, what,
almost 30 years later,
355
00:55:20,755 --> 00:55:22,823
I'm visiting my dad
for Christmas
356
00:55:22,925 --> 00:55:25,595
and I'm having coffee with
one of my old best friends.
357
00:55:26,496 --> 00:55:29,599
And we stop in
to see her mother.
358
00:55:29,701 --> 00:55:32,633
And when we're all saying
goodbye, she starts crying,
359
00:55:32,735 --> 00:55:35,470
I mean, my friend's mother
starts crying.
360
00:55:35,572 --> 00:55:37,468
And we say, "What, what?"
And she says,
361
00:55:37,570 --> 00:55:39,004
"I'm the one...
362
00:55:40,546 --> 00:55:42,975
"who sent the anonymous
letter, it was me."
363
00:55:44,511 --> 00:55:46,317
And she's sobbing.
364
00:55:46,420 --> 00:55:49,146
And she says,
"I see now it was a mistake."
365
00:55:49,248 --> 00:55:52,121
And I was... I mean,
I just moved to Massachusetts,
366
00:55:52,223 --> 00:55:53,225
and I'd just met Avi,
367
00:55:53,327 --> 00:55:54,555
and I was in such a good place
in my life
368
00:55:54,657 --> 00:55:56,422
for the first time
in a long time.
369
00:55:56,524 --> 00:55:58,122
And I said, you know,
370
00:55:58,224 --> 00:56:01,725
"Estelle," and I was bubbling
over with forgiveness.
371
00:56:01,828 --> 00:56:04,200
And I hugged her
for a long time,
372
00:56:04,302 --> 00:56:05,965
but she wouldn't stop crying.
373
00:56:06,067 --> 00:56:08,406
And then that night, I got
back to my dad's house,
374
00:56:08,508 --> 00:56:13,705
and I said, "Hey, Dad,
I just saw Jackie's mother
375
00:56:13,807 --> 00:56:15,176
"for the first time
in decades,
376
00:56:15,278 --> 00:56:16,540
"remember Estelle?"
377
00:56:16,642 --> 00:56:18,516
And he says, "Yeah."
378
00:56:18,618 --> 00:56:22,046
And I say, "Well, it turns out
she's the one who sent
379
00:56:22,148 --> 00:56:24,588
"the anonymous letter
about me 30 years ago."
380
00:56:25,422 --> 00:56:27,855
And Dad says, "What letter?"
381
00:56:31,832 --> 00:56:34,259
Erm... no.
382
00:56:34,361 --> 00:56:35,566
Yeah?
383
00:56:35,668 --> 00:56:39,502
No, we never had any dogs
and we never had any cats.
384
00:56:39,604 --> 00:56:43,138
It was just me and
my Holocaust-survivor dad
385
00:56:43,240 --> 00:56:44,668
and my angry mom.
386
00:56:44,770 --> 00:56:46,806
And then finally, one day,
387
00:56:46,908 --> 00:56:50,046
after I'd begged
and begged them for a pet,
388
00:56:50,148 --> 00:56:51,747
they got me a dove.
389
00:56:52,315 --> 00:56:53,682
A dove?
390
00:56:53,784 --> 00:56:56,620
Mm-hmm. They got me a dove
and I named her Susan.
391
00:57:00,053 --> 00:57:03,789
♪ Round and round
the earth is turning
392
00:57:03,891 --> 00:57:09,697
♪ Turning always
'round to morning
393
00:57:09,799 --> 00:57:14,799
♪ And from morning
'round to night ♪
394
00:57:14,901 --> 00:57:16,970
I think I know
what it feels like
395
00:57:17,704 --> 00:57:19,775
to be a baby in the womb.
396
00:57:23,744 --> 00:57:25,616
I just got in touch with it.
397
00:57:27,713 --> 00:57:29,015
What's it like?
398
00:57:32,156 --> 00:57:33,492
It's wet...
399
00:57:35,159 --> 00:57:36,528
and warm...
400
00:57:39,361 --> 00:57:41,032
and wooshy.
401
00:57:46,468 --> 00:57:47,769
It's really good.
402
00:57:54,643 --> 00:57:58,077
There's no language for it.
403
00:58:00,250 --> 00:58:01,652
No thinking
404
00:58:03,121 --> 00:58:04,622
and no language.
405
00:58:20,033 --> 00:58:22,068
What are we
even talking about...
406
00:58:23,474 --> 00:58:25,071
when we talk about mothers?
407
00:58:31,846 --> 00:58:35,818
What are we even
talking about?
408
00:58:40,526 --> 00:58:42,286
Look, there's making
bad decisions.
409
00:58:43,691 --> 00:58:45,224
Choosing the wrong person.
410
00:58:47,964 --> 00:58:49,696
But then there's also
worrying all the time
411
00:58:49,798 --> 00:58:50,827
that you're making
bad decisions
412
00:58:50,929 --> 00:58:52,802
and not trusting yourself.
413
00:58:55,473 --> 00:58:58,808
So, you develop an identity.
414
00:59:00,406 --> 00:59:04,313
You develop an identity
as an untrustworthy person.
415
00:59:04,415 --> 00:59:07,245
Untrustworthy to yourself.
416
00:59:09,286 --> 00:59:10,655
And so that...
417
00:59:12,151 --> 00:59:14,084
I mean,
once you're in that pattern,
418
00:59:14,186 --> 00:59:16,221
that's how you make
bad decisions.
419
00:59:17,230 --> 00:59:18,828
Because then you think...
420
00:59:20,294 --> 00:59:23,195
When you have an instinct
about something, you think...
421
00:59:25,002 --> 00:59:29,134
"Oh, I can't trust my instinct
because I'm the one...
422
00:59:29,236 --> 00:59:33,139
"I'm the person
who makes bad decisions here."
423
00:59:34,174 --> 00:59:36,208
So, then you make
a bad decision.
424
00:59:37,844 --> 00:59:39,816
But even the word "bad."
425
00:59:42,188 --> 00:59:44,249
But even the word
426
00:59:45,618 --> 00:59:47,223
"bad."
427
00:59:47,325 --> 00:59:48,627
What is that word?
428
00:59:49,859 --> 00:59:51,828
Why do we say that word
to ourselves?
429
00:59:57,836 --> 00:59:59,971
I would never say that
to one of my patients.
430
01:00:00,073 --> 01:00:01,134
That's my...
431
01:00:04,203 --> 01:00:06,205
That's my narrative
of myself, but...
432
01:00:08,741 --> 01:00:10,308
who's to say?
433
01:00:12,752 --> 01:00:16,919
Who's to say but me
whether it's a bad decision?
434
01:00:17,419 --> 01:00:18,985
Yeah.
435
01:00:19,087 --> 01:00:21,418
But objectively,
you do make bad decisions.
436
01:00:24,394 --> 01:00:26,027
Well, who knows?
437
01:00:26,628 --> 01:00:28,499
Well, you know.
438
01:00:28,601 --> 01:00:30,867
I mean, I know.
We know when we know.
439
01:00:35,067 --> 01:00:37,104
But I'm saying maybe we don't.
440
01:00:41,378 --> 01:00:43,112
Yeah, yeah.
441
01:00:43,214 --> 01:00:44,177
Okay.
442
01:00:45,282 --> 01:00:46,311
Okay.
443
01:00:49,221 --> 01:00:50,447
Okay, but...
444
01:00:51,684 --> 01:00:52,856
also,
445
01:00:54,119 --> 01:00:55,991
and I mean this with love...
446
01:00:57,924 --> 01:00:59,896
don't kid yourself, Janet.
447
01:01:01,430 --> 01:01:02,426
I mean...
448
01:01:04,330 --> 01:01:06,667
- you know.
449
01:01:06,769 --> 01:01:13,811
♪ The summer blooming flower
450
01:01:16,310 --> 01:01:21,082
♪ Welcome the child
whose hand I hold ♪
451
01:01:24,622 --> 01:01:27,319
I think I might be dehydrated.
452
01:01:29,361 --> 01:01:30,795
You should sit down.
453
01:01:31,761 --> 01:01:33,259
Lacy, can you get some water?
454
01:01:41,604 --> 01:01:42,700
Yeah, I don't know.
455
01:01:42,802 --> 01:01:44,875
I think I was...
456
01:01:48,145 --> 01:01:52,509
I think I was onto something
and you stepped on my toe.
457
01:01:54,452 --> 01:01:56,650
Stepped on your toe?
458
01:01:56,752 --> 01:01:58,449
Or however you say it.
459
01:01:59,391 --> 01:02:01,356
Interrupted me.
460
01:02:01,458 --> 01:02:02,453
No, no, no.
461
01:02:04,091 --> 01:02:05,463
Oh, I didn't mean
to do that. I...
462
01:02:05,565 --> 01:02:08,361
Yeah, but
that's what happened.
463
01:02:08,463 --> 01:02:14,470
I was onto something and I was
being kind to myself for once,
464
01:02:14,572 --> 01:02:16,104
and you stepped on my toe.
465
01:02:18,143 --> 01:02:19,206
Huh.
466
01:02:20,113 --> 01:02:21,241
Okay.
467
01:02:25,383 --> 01:02:26,477
That's not...
468
01:02:27,848 --> 01:02:29,180
I actually felt
469
01:02:29,282 --> 01:02:32,382
filled with love for you
in that moment.
470
01:02:32,484 --> 01:02:34,859
That's what filled with love
looks like?
471
01:02:37,029 --> 01:02:39,763
That's what it's like
when you're filled with love?
472
01:02:39,865 --> 01:02:42,933
I was, like,
yes, you're onto something.
473
01:02:43,901 --> 01:02:45,667
You do make bad decisions
sometimes,
474
01:02:45,769 --> 01:02:47,399
but you're facing up to it.
475
01:02:47,501 --> 01:02:50,534
But you don't know me.
You haven't seen me for years.
476
01:02:52,674 --> 01:02:54,776
We're friends.
477
01:02:54,878 --> 01:02:57,107
You gave away
all of your money.
478
01:02:57,209 --> 01:02:59,147
You can't pay a month's rent.
479
01:03:02,017 --> 01:03:04,383
I've worked
really, really hard.
480
01:03:07,524 --> 01:03:09,124
I know you have.
481
01:03:09,957 --> 01:03:11,390
I've changed my life.
482
01:03:34,483 --> 01:03:35,546
Hi.
483
01:03:36,890 --> 01:03:38,615
Are you gonna be
in there much longer?
484
01:03:39,755 --> 01:03:41,420
No, I'm getting off.
485
01:03:43,424 --> 01:03:45,391
You've been in there
for 45 minutes.
486
01:03:51,832 --> 01:03:53,168
Also, Lacy?
487
01:03:55,308 --> 01:03:56,336
Yes?
488
01:03:57,743 --> 01:03:58,807
I don't
wanna sound rude,
489
01:03:58,909 --> 01:04:00,505
but can you stop
using my shampoo?
490
01:04:14,956 --> 01:04:16,521
I didn't use your shampoo.
491
01:04:18,164 --> 01:04:21,460
Also, why do you smear your
hair all over the shower wall?
492
01:04:23,434 --> 01:04:24,628
I don't.
493
01:04:35,141 --> 01:04:37,311
I forgot to wash my hands!
494
01:04:37,946 --> 01:04:39,577
Use the kitchen sink.
495
01:05:05,406 --> 01:05:07,544
♪ Well, this could be
the best thing
496
01:05:07,646 --> 01:05:09,976
♪ That you'll ever have
497
01:05:10,078 --> 01:05:13,916
♪ Baby, don't treat me bad
498
01:05:14,018 --> 01:05:17,719
♪ You can do anything,
but, baby
499
01:05:17,821 --> 01:05:21,492
♪ Don't treat me bad
500
01:05:21,594 --> 01:05:25,359
♪ Oh, don't treat me bad
501
01:05:27,127 --> 01:05:28,995
♪ I gave everything
502
01:05:29,097 --> 01:05:31,161
♪ But you threw it all away
503
01:05:31,263 --> 01:05:33,034
♪ I can't take anymore
504
01:05:33,136 --> 01:05:35,773
♪ Of these games
that you play
505
01:05:35,875 --> 01:05:38,037
♪ Oh, I've been
through heartache
506
01:05:38,140 --> 01:05:40,006
♪ And I've been through pain
507
01:05:40,108 --> 01:05:41,778
♪ And it's hard to believe
508
01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:44,307
♪ You still treat me
this way
509
01:05:44,409 --> 01:05:46,246
♪ But I won't cry no more
510
01:05:46,348 --> 01:05:48,448
♪ 'Cause the tears
are all in vain ♪
511
01:05:50,353 --> 01:05:54,190
♪ I finally found the love
of a lifetime
512
01:05:55,995 --> 01:06:02,528
♪ A love to last
my whole life through
513
01:06:03,728 --> 01:06:09,568
♪ I finally found
the love of a lifetime
514
01:06:11,303 --> 01:06:15,638
♪ Forever in my heart
515
01:06:15,740 --> 01:06:20,645
♪ I finally found
the love of a lifetime ♪
516
01:06:57,689 --> 01:06:58,787
Are you okay?
517
01:06:58,889 --> 01:07:00,152
What do you mean?
518
01:07:00,254 --> 01:07:02,093
You're covered in something.
519
01:07:03,024 --> 01:07:04,656
It's just ice cream.
520
01:07:07,428 --> 01:07:10,229
Lacy, this is
Regina's friend, Avi.
521
01:07:10,331 --> 01:07:12,136
He just stopped by
to say hello.
522
01:07:12,968 --> 01:07:14,369
Great to meet you.
523
01:07:15,675 --> 01:07:17,202
I saw you in the play.
524
01:07:17,304 --> 01:07:18,703
He directed it, too.
525
01:07:22,746 --> 01:07:24,082
Did you like it?
526
01:07:24,550 --> 01:07:25,644
She loved it.
527
01:07:30,384 --> 01:07:32,189
So, what do you do
for fun, Lacy?
528
01:07:34,125 --> 01:07:36,556
I have a piano lesson
in five minutes.
529
01:07:37,827 --> 01:07:39,196
Fantastic.
530
01:09:54,330 --> 01:09:56,960
I can tell
you really practiced.
531
01:09:57,062 --> 01:09:59,633
I actually didn't practice
very much this week at all.
532
01:11:17,779 --> 01:11:19,982
I don't know. He showed up
and he was friendly,
533
01:11:20,084 --> 01:11:22,417
and he asked if he could
534
01:11:22,519 --> 01:11:25,081
tell me about
what happened between them.
535
01:11:26,058 --> 01:11:27,787
What happened between them?
536
01:11:30,296 --> 01:11:32,528
We didn't end up talking
that much about it.
537
01:11:38,666 --> 01:11:40,800
It really surprised me
how nice he was.
538
01:11:44,473 --> 01:11:46,139
I thought he'd be
a narcissistic,
539
01:11:46,241 --> 01:11:48,379
artist type of guy.
540
01:11:55,648 --> 01:11:57,718
He asked a lot of questions.
541
01:12:24,110 --> 01:12:27,484
Would you be disappointed
if, one day, I dated a girl?
542
01:12:36,757 --> 01:12:39,892
No, I wouldn't be
disappointed at all.
543
01:12:44,036 --> 01:12:46,096
I'd be very happy for you.
544
01:12:52,609 --> 01:12:54,404
I've always wondered
if you might turn out
545
01:12:54,506 --> 01:12:55,974
to be a lesbian.
546
01:12:56,742 --> 01:12:59,014
I didn't say I was a lesbian.
547
01:12:59,116 --> 01:13:00,911
I know, I know.
548
01:13:01,014 --> 01:13:03,520
Don't get mad at me.
I just said I wondered.
549
01:13:04,448 --> 01:13:05,654
Why?
550
01:13:09,557 --> 01:13:11,825
Because you have a kind of...
551
01:13:15,561 --> 01:13:17,127
a forthrightness.
552
01:13:22,902 --> 01:13:25,443
You have a kind
of aggressive quality.
553
01:13:27,646 --> 01:13:30,377
It sounds like a criticism
and I don't mean it as one.
554
01:13:30,479 --> 01:13:32,714
I've just always worried...
555
01:13:35,681 --> 01:13:37,213
I've just always wondered
556
01:13:38,686 --> 01:13:40,623
how that would work
with a man.
557
01:13:44,792 --> 01:13:47,064
I've wondered
if it might be easier
558
01:13:47,166 --> 01:13:48,796
for you to be with a woman.
559
01:14:00,605 --> 01:14:02,106
Men like you.
560
01:14:14,893 --> 01:14:15,955
What?
561
01:14:24,830 --> 01:14:26,735
I know I'm not that beautiful.
562
01:14:29,942 --> 01:14:31,069
But I've...
563
01:14:32,871 --> 01:14:35,106
always had this knowledge...
564
01:14:37,713 --> 01:14:39,712
and I don't even know
if it's true,
565
01:14:39,814 --> 01:14:43,587
but I've always
had this knowledge...
566
01:14:45,686 --> 01:14:49,791
deep inside of me that I could
567
01:14:49,893 --> 01:14:53,256
make any man fall in love
with me if I really tried.
568
01:14:58,998 --> 01:15:01,770
And I think maybe
it's ruined my life.
569
01:15:11,943 --> 01:15:15,047
I've never actually said that
570
01:15:16,384 --> 01:15:17,885
out loud before.
571
01:15:19,819 --> 01:15:22,318
I guess it sounds kinda silly.
572
01:15:30,497 --> 01:15:31,998
Can you stop?
573
01:15:33,104 --> 01:15:34,165
Stop what?
574
01:15:35,271 --> 01:15:36,871
Stop trying.
575
01:17:37,162 --> 01:17:38,756
Good news.
576
01:17:38,858 --> 01:17:41,224
You're in Mr. Mac's class.
577
01:17:41,326 --> 01:17:43,360
He's supposed to be
the nice one, right?
578
01:17:50,307 --> 01:17:51,775
Phew.
579
01:17:52,704 --> 01:17:53,942
You glad?
580
01:18:30,147 --> 01:18:31,111
So,
581
01:18:31,746 --> 01:18:33,476
we're in agreement that
582
01:18:33,578 --> 01:18:37,621
before the universe existed,
there was nothing, right?
583
01:18:37,723 --> 01:18:39,416
Are the two of you
in agreement with me?
584
01:18:41,589 --> 01:18:42,958
Theoretically?
585
01:18:44,362 --> 01:18:45,928
There was nothing,
586
01:18:47,094 --> 01:18:49,195
and out of nothing
came something.
587
01:18:50,430 --> 01:18:53,936
I mean, we're... we're talking
about the Big Bang.
588
01:18:54,038 --> 01:18:57,302
There was nothing, and out
of nothing came something.
589
01:18:58,474 --> 01:19:00,910
Right? Okay.
590
01:19:01,812 --> 01:19:03,676
So, out of nothing
came something.
591
01:19:03,778 --> 01:19:05,979
There was just God or...
592
01:19:06,082 --> 01:19:09,446
or Brahmin or whatever
you want to call him.
593
01:19:09,548 --> 01:19:12,850
There was God and the state
of nothing ever happening
594
01:19:12,952 --> 01:19:14,251
for an infinity of time...
595
01:19:14,353 --> 01:19:17,894
well, of no time,
'cause time didn't exist.
596
01:19:20,432 --> 01:19:22,025
Imagine you're God, okay?
597
01:19:22,127 --> 01:19:24,063
And you are God, by the way.
598
01:19:24,166 --> 01:19:26,199
I know you don't think
you are, but you are.
599
01:19:28,204 --> 01:19:31,303
And just imagine you've been
doing nothing forever.
600
01:19:33,374 --> 01:19:37,340
And then imagine the thought
crosses your mind that,
601
01:19:37,442 --> 01:19:39,476
"You know,
maybe I should do something."
602
01:19:40,917 --> 01:19:43,451
And then
another billion years go by.
603
01:19:43,553 --> 01:19:45,119
And then, "Hmm,
604
01:19:45,986 --> 01:19:48,417
"maybe I should do something.
605
01:19:48,519 --> 01:19:51,224
"Nah, I'm gonna go back
to doing nothing."
606
01:19:52,230 --> 01:19:53,226
Pfft.
607
01:19:54,094 --> 01:19:56,026
Once you have that thought,
God,
608
01:19:56,128 --> 01:19:58,198
once you have that thought,
609
01:19:59,703 --> 01:20:00,902
it's hard to let go of, right?
610
01:20:01,005 --> 01:20:03,434
It's hard to let go of that...
that impulse.
611
01:20:06,138 --> 01:20:08,945
Maybe I will. Maybe I won't.
612
01:20:12,515 --> 01:20:13,609
But you do.
613
01:20:14,714 --> 01:20:15,886
Okay, so
614
01:20:16,950 --> 01:20:18,688
you create the universe.
615
01:20:18,790 --> 01:20:22,388
Bang. Everything changes
in an instant.
616
01:20:22,490 --> 01:20:25,291
And millions of years later,
you get human consciousness.
617
01:20:29,328 --> 01:20:31,561
Now, are you both
still with me so far?
618
01:20:36,704 --> 01:20:38,007
All right.
619
01:20:40,272 --> 01:20:42,578
Every Buddhist scripture
says...
620
01:20:42,680 --> 01:20:44,410
And I know that you know this.
621
01:20:44,512 --> 01:20:48,149
Every Buddhist scripture says
there's only one I, right?
622
01:20:49,347 --> 01:20:51,152
That's the first thing
we learn.
623
01:20:52,458 --> 01:20:54,053
I may look like a man,
624
01:20:54,155 --> 01:20:56,124
and you may look
like a woman, but...
625
01:20:58,793 --> 01:21:00,227
we're all the same.
626
01:21:01,091 --> 01:21:02,394
We're all one.
627
01:21:03,964 --> 01:21:06,330
So, if there's only one I,
628
01:21:06,433 --> 01:21:08,766
which we acknowledge to be
a spiritual truth,
629
01:21:08,868 --> 01:21:10,270
then you...
630
01:21:11,268 --> 01:21:14,010
you created the universe.
631
01:21:15,679 --> 01:21:17,376
You made that decision.
632
01:21:30,391 --> 01:21:32,457
He said I can
come up with it myself.
633
01:21:33,592 --> 01:21:36,494
I had a good one last night,
but now I forget it.
634
01:21:41,136 --> 01:21:43,369
It has to do with truth
before ego.
635
01:21:45,107 --> 01:21:48,011
Truth before the desire
to be liked,
636
01:21:49,241 --> 01:21:51,311
which is a very female thing.
637
01:21:52,615 --> 01:21:53,984
What is?
638
01:21:55,247 --> 01:21:57,152
The desire to be liked.
639
01:22:02,927 --> 01:22:05,525
My own liberation
depends on my ability
640
01:22:06,328 --> 01:22:09,296
to put truth before
the desire to be liked.
641
01:22:12,398 --> 01:22:15,102
My own liberation
depends on my ability
642
01:22:15,205 --> 01:22:18,437
to put truth before
the desire to be loved.
643
01:22:22,144 --> 01:22:24,041
My own liberation
depends on my ability
644
01:22:24,143 --> 01:22:27,512
to put truth before ego.
645
01:22:30,087 --> 01:22:34,923
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
646
01:22:35,025 --> 01:22:39,557
to put truth
before my own self-image.
647
01:22:41,626 --> 01:22:46,066
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
648
01:22:46,168 --> 01:22:50,568
to see truth beyond
my own self-image.
649
01:22:53,374 --> 01:22:56,472
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
650
01:22:56,574 --> 01:23:00,578
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
651
01:23:01,982 --> 01:23:03,482
Something like that.
652
01:23:09,058 --> 01:23:11,094
And then
you can do prostrations.
653
01:23:13,492 --> 01:23:16,462
My own willingness...
654
01:23:18,333 --> 01:23:22,369
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
655
01:23:22,903 --> 01:23:24,371
to see truth
656
01:23:25,776 --> 01:23:28,375
beyond my own self-image.
657
01:23:32,215 --> 01:23:36,281
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
658
01:23:36,383 --> 01:23:40,189
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
659
01:23:45,624 --> 01:23:49,525
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
660
01:23:49,627 --> 01:23:53,598
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
661
01:24:09,549 --> 01:24:11,517
It's really starting
to smell like fall.
662
01:24:16,360 --> 01:24:18,623
I think it's my favorite smell
in the whole world.
663
01:26:02,861 --> 01:26:06,302
She says she can't think
because of the headache.
664
01:26:07,035 --> 01:26:08,866
And my face is numb.
665
01:26:09,335 --> 01:26:11,373
And her face is numb.
666
01:26:16,478 --> 01:26:18,476
It was her first day
of sixth grade today,
667
01:26:18,578 --> 01:26:20,547
and I think
she was really nervous.
668
01:26:21,918 --> 01:26:23,316
I'm gonna throw up.
669
01:26:23,418 --> 01:26:25,349
The headache's
gonna make me throw up.
670
01:26:25,451 --> 01:26:26,949
You wanna use the bathroom?
671
01:26:31,024 --> 01:26:32,394
Mm-hmm.
672
01:26:43,768 --> 01:26:46,108
He said you can go
on antibiotics,
673
01:26:46,210 --> 01:26:48,003
in case it's some kind
of infection.
674
01:26:53,184 --> 01:26:54,911
But, you know,
I hate antibiotics.
675
01:26:59,858 --> 01:27:01,354
What do you want to do?
676
01:27:01,456 --> 01:27:03,656
I don't want to go
on antibiotics.
677
01:27:09,761 --> 01:27:12,497
You scared
about middle school?
678
01:27:12,599 --> 01:27:14,601
Yes, but that's not
why I'm sick.
679
01:27:21,308 --> 01:27:23,280
♪ Na, na, na, na, na
680
01:27:24,311 --> 01:27:25,408
♪ All right, all right
681
01:27:25,510 --> 01:27:27,845
♪ Na, na, na, na, na
682
01:27:29,316 --> 01:27:31,387
♪ Na, na, na, na, na
683
01:27:32,416 --> 01:27:33,790
♪ Hey, cool
684
01:27:33,892 --> 01:27:36,018
♪ Na, na, na, na, na
685
01:27:37,896 --> 01:27:39,758
♪ Na, na, na, na, na
686
01:27:40,899 --> 01:27:42,161
♪ All right, all right
687
01:27:42,263 --> 01:27:44,532
♪ Na, na, na, na, na
688
01:27:46,069 --> 01:27:47,997
♪ Na, na, na, na, na
689
01:27:48,971 --> 01:27:50,301
♪ Hey, cool
690
01:27:50,403 --> 01:27:52,804
♪ Na, na, na, na, na ♪
691
01:29:31,608 --> 01:29:34,444
Sweetie, I'm gonna have
to ask you to go inside,
692
01:29:34,546 --> 01:29:37,040
otherwise my clients
will see you and get worried.
693
01:30:47,514 --> 01:30:49,046
Are you still throwing up?
694
01:30:55,886 --> 01:30:57,791
I picked up the antibiotics.
695
01:30:59,056 --> 01:31:00,761
I think maybe
you should take them.
696
01:31:02,327 --> 01:31:03,595
Why?
697
01:31:03,697 --> 01:31:05,694
In case you have
a bacterial thing.
698
01:31:05,796 --> 01:31:07,999
But we hate antibiotics.
699
01:31:11,007 --> 01:31:12,003
Well,
700
01:31:12,670 --> 01:31:14,236
it's your decision.
701
01:31:16,480 --> 01:31:18,515
I'm leaving the bag
on the counter.
702
01:31:32,562 --> 01:31:34,029
How would you feel
about me meeting up
703
01:31:34,131 --> 01:31:35,697
with Avi for a walk?
704
01:31:41,103 --> 01:31:42,099
When?
705
01:31:44,276 --> 01:31:45,971
He wants to have
a picnic dinner.
706
01:31:46,705 --> 01:31:48,677
You're invited, of course.
707
01:31:53,110 --> 01:31:55,343
If you're not feeling
well enough,
708
01:31:55,445 --> 01:31:58,918
I'll leave out some of those
frozen blintzes you love.
709
01:32:01,818 --> 01:32:03,488
Without the fruit.
710
01:32:03,590 --> 01:32:05,320
Yeah, without the fruit.
711
01:32:54,073 --> 01:32:55,304
I thought that part
would get easier
712
01:32:55,406 --> 01:32:58,780
as I got older, but it's
pretty much stayed the same.
713
01:33:04,651 --> 01:33:06,788
The guilt, but also...
714
01:33:13,730 --> 01:33:16,127
sometimes I feel like
she's watching me.
715
01:33:19,634 --> 01:33:21,231
When you're not with her?
716
01:33:22,337 --> 01:33:23,706
Yeah.
717
01:34:58,933 --> 01:35:01,837
"And you, my parents,
am I not right?
718
01:35:03,274 --> 01:35:04,706
"You who loved me
719
01:35:04,809 --> 01:35:08,236
"for that small beginning
of my love for you,
720
01:35:08,338 --> 01:35:10,978
"from which I always
shyly turned away,
721
01:35:12,378 --> 01:35:16,751
"because the distance in
your features grew, changed,
722
01:35:16,853 --> 01:35:19,789
"even while I loved it,
into cosmic space
723
01:35:21,150 --> 01:35:23,221
"where you no longer were.
724
01:35:24,721 --> 01:35:28,359
"And when I feel inclined to
wait before the puppet stage,
725
01:35:28,461 --> 01:35:32,865
"no, rather to stare at it
so intensely that in the end,
726
01:35:32,967 --> 01:35:35,230
"to counter-balance
my searching gaze,
727
01:35:35,332 --> 01:35:39,072
"an angel has to come
as an actor
728
01:35:40,174 --> 01:35:42,675
"and begin manipulating
the lifeless bodies
729
01:35:42,777 --> 01:35:44,847
"of the puppets to perform.
730
01:35:46,647 --> 01:35:48,951
"Angel and puppet!
731
01:35:49,521 --> 01:35:51,854
"Now at last there is a play.
732
01:35:53,825 --> 01:35:56,991
"Then what we separate
can come together
733
01:35:57,692 --> 01:36:00,391
"by our very presence.
734
01:36:00,493 --> 01:36:03,896
"And only then the entire
cycle of our own life-seasons
735
01:36:03,998 --> 01:36:07,067
"is revealed
and set in motion."
736
01:36:15,713 --> 01:36:18,111
It's... It's part
of a much longer poem.
737
01:36:22,717 --> 01:36:24,282
Will you read it again?
738
01:36:27,021 --> 01:36:29,518
I spaced out for a second
in the middle.
739
01:36:36,599 --> 01:36:38,296
I really like you, Janet.
740
01:36:41,471 --> 01:36:43,334
I really like you.
741
01:36:49,973 --> 01:36:51,507
Read it again.
742
01:36:59,757 --> 01:37:03,926
"And you, my parents,
am I not right?
743
01:37:04,956 --> 01:37:06,487
"You who loved me
744
01:37:06,590 --> 01:37:10,127
"for that small beginning
of my love for you,
745
01:37:10,229 --> 01:37:12,561
"from which I always
shyly turned away,
746
01:37:14,137 --> 01:37:18,972
"because the distance in
your features grew, changed,
747
01:37:19,074 --> 01:37:22,043
"even while I loved it,
into cosmic space
748
01:37:23,877 --> 01:37:25,574
"where you no longer were.
749
01:37:27,580 --> 01:37:31,482
"And when I feel inclined to
wait before the puppet stage,
750
01:37:31,584 --> 01:37:38,255
"no, rather to stare at it
so intensely that in the end,
751
01:37:38,357 --> 01:37:40,421
"to counter-balance
my searching gaze,
752
01:37:40,523 --> 01:37:44,700
"an angel has to come
as an actor
753
01:37:44,802 --> 01:37:47,662
"and begin manipulating
the lifeless..."
754
01:43:23,401 --> 01:43:25,004
I'm so glad you came.
755
01:43:25,106 --> 01:43:26,803
I'm a terrible dancer.
756
01:43:28,838 --> 01:43:31,376
It's not really
about being good or bad.
757
01:43:31,478 --> 01:43:33,513
It's just a great way
to meet people.
758
01:43:37,781 --> 01:43:39,816
Are you gonna contra dance,
Lacy?
759
01:43:41,290 --> 01:43:42,783
Lacy has made it
very clear to me
760
01:43:42,885 --> 01:43:45,090
that she is not going
to contra dance.
761
01:43:52,366 --> 01:43:53,328
Circle to the left,
762
01:43:53,430 --> 01:43:54,996
two circle lefts.
763
01:43:56,638 --> 01:43:59,374
And back to the right,
circle right, right, rights.
764
01:44:00,538 --> 01:44:01,903
Now the ones with the twos.
765
01:44:02,005 --> 01:44:04,212
It's lady 'round lady
and the gent around gent
766
01:44:04,314 --> 01:44:06,909
and swing in the middle
of the sentence.
767
01:44:09,482 --> 01:44:11,716
Now, men center,
go four by four.
768
01:44:14,417 --> 01:44:16,089
Back on up.
769
01:44:16,192 --> 01:44:17,753
Ones arch, twos dive through.
770
01:44:17,855 --> 01:44:20,329
On to the next
for the figure eight.
771
01:44:25,297 --> 01:44:26,632
Box the gnat.
772
01:44:30,567 --> 01:44:31,835
Circle to the left.
773
01:44:33,939 --> 01:44:36,708
Now back to the right,
circle right, right, rights.
774
01:44:42,016 --> 01:44:43,682
New ladies!
775
01:44:48,090 --> 01:44:49,523
There's your partner.
776
01:44:53,664 --> 01:44:54,627
Hi.
777
01:44:56,358 --> 01:44:57,658
Hi.
778
01:44:57,761 --> 01:44:59,863
Gentlemen, left hands.
779
01:45:01,037 --> 01:45:02,866
Long line to the middle.
780
01:45:07,175 --> 01:45:08,707
Go once and a half.
781
01:45:12,080 --> 01:45:13,811
Now box the gnat.
782
01:45:18,849 --> 01:45:21,082
Find your partner.
Balance here.
783
01:45:30,129 --> 01:45:31,697
You okay?
784
01:45:33,330 --> 01:45:34,799
Yeah.
785
01:45:36,468 --> 01:45:38,000
I'm here with my mom.
786
01:46:02,494 --> 01:46:03,927
You wanna dance?
787
01:46:28,220 --> 01:46:29,689
You sure?
788
01:48:19,734 --> 01:48:25,604
♪ Round and round
the earth is turning
789
01:48:25,706 --> 01:48:31,610
♪ Turning always
'round to morning
790
01:48:31,712 --> 01:48:37,749
♪ And from morning
'round to night
791
01:48:37,851 --> 01:48:43,787
♪ Round and round
the earth is turning
792
01:48:43,889 --> 01:48:49,793
♪ Turning always
'round to morning
793
01:48:49,895 --> 01:48:55,866
♪ And from morning
'round to night
794
01:48:55,968 --> 01:49:02,410
♪ Round and round
the earth is turning
795
01:49:02,512 --> 01:49:08,416
♪ Turning always
'round to morning
796
01:49:08,518 --> 01:49:14,522
♪ And from morning
'round to night
797
01:49:14,624 --> 01:49:20,791
♪ Round and round
the earth is turning
798
01:49:20,893 --> 01:49:26,995
♪ Turning always
'round to morning
799
01:49:27,097 --> 01:49:33,574
♪ And from morning
'round to night
800
01:49:33,676 --> 01:49:39,678
♪ Round and round
the earth is turning
801
01:49:39,780 --> 01:49:45,948
♪ Turning always
'round to morning
802
01:49:46,050 --> 01:49:52,494
♪ And from morning
'round to night
803
01:49:52,596 --> 01:49:58,697
♪ Round and round
the earth is turning
804
01:49:58,799 --> 01:50:05,000
♪ Turning always
'round to morning
805
01:50:05,102 --> 01:50:11,512
♪ And from morning
'round to night
806
01:50:11,614 --> 01:50:17,881
♪ Turning always
'round to morning
807
01:50:17,983 --> 01:50:25,188
♪ And from morning
'round to night ♪