1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:04,683
Your mum would've been so proud
seeing you look so grown up.

2
00:00:06,003 --> 00:00:07,003
So, so proud.

3
00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:11,003
She knew you were special.

4
00:00:13,523 --> 00:00:16,003
And this week,
it's time to show the world, too.

5
00:00:22,003 --> 00:00:23,003
THEY CACKLE

6
00:00:23,003 --> 00:00:24,523
Oh, my God!

7
00:00:24,523 --> 00:00:26,003
What the fuck's that?

8
00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:28,003
Look at the state of this muppet!

9
00:00:28,003 --> 00:00:32,843
Presenting Christopher Boniface
Sixtus the Great Bellend!

10
00:00:32,843 --> 00:00:34,003
Whoo!
LAUGHTER

11
00:00:34,003 --> 00:00:35,003
I'm not gonna lie.

12
00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:38,203
You look like you're off
to buy some slaves, lad. Oh, sir!

13
00:00:38,203 --> 00:00:41,003
EXAGGERATED ACCENT:
Me shine shoes, sir.

14
00:00:41,003 --> 00:00:43,003
I qualified brain surgeon,

15
00:00:43,003 --> 00:00:46,003
but Rishi say I need two jobs
or they send me to Rwanda.

16
00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:48,003
Please tell them
this my second job, sir.

17
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:49,003
Please! Please!

18
00:00:52,003 --> 00:00:53,003
Come 'ead.

19
00:00:53,003 --> 00:00:55,003
It's careers week, boys.

20
00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:56,363
This could be the first step
to the job

21
00:00:56,363 --> 00:00:58,003
you're gonna do
for the rest of your lives.

22
00:00:58,003 --> 00:01:01,003
Kind of important, don't you think?
Why?

23
00:01:01,003 --> 00:01:04,003
Why? Because your job
gives you your purpose.

24
00:01:04,003 --> 00:01:05,003
It's a part of your identity.

25
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:08,363
Lad, we're not like you.
We don't think you job defines you.

26
00:01:08,363 --> 00:01:10,003
TED GASPS
There's Maccies Mike!

27
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,683
Oi! Mike!

28
00:01:11,683 --> 00:01:14,003
Do us a Big Mac, you sweaty gherkin!

29
00:01:14,003 --> 00:01:15,003
Ha-ha-ha!

30
00:01:15,003 --> 00:01:18,003
♪ He shags gherkins

31
00:01:18,003 --> 00:01:21,003
♪ He shags gherkins! ♪

32
00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:22,003
THEY LAUGH

33
00:01:22,003 --> 00:01:25,003
See you Friday, la!

34
00:01:25,003 --> 00:01:29,003
Look, I don't need any muppets
telling me what to do with my life.

35
00:01:29,003 --> 00:01:33,003
I'm sorted. I'm starting a joinery
apprenticeship soon as, lad.

36
00:01:33,003 --> 00:01:35,003
Yeah, Philibert, think about it.

37
00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:37,003
How many doors are there
in the world?

38
00:01:37,003 --> 00:01:38,003
There's always work.

39
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:41,003
And you can work in every country,
because every country needs doors.

40
00:01:41,003 --> 00:01:43,203
Doesn't matter how many doors
there are, you know, Reece.

41
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:46,003
You'll never open one
to find your dad.

42
00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:50,003
MUSIC: 'Doorstep'
by Silent-K

43
00:01:52,003 --> 00:01:54,003
CACKLES

44
00:01:56,003 --> 00:01:57,003
God, look at him.

45
00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:58,683
Has he got no shame?

46
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:01,003
Hacks your TikTok
and then just runs around laughing.

47
00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:03,003
God, is there any point
in this school

48
00:02:03,003 --> 00:02:04,003
even having a careers week

49
00:02:04,003 --> 00:02:06,003
when it's full of no-hope scruffs
like him? Ha!

50
00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:09,003
Imagine employers, like,
actually looking at their CVs.

51
00:02:10,843 --> 00:02:12,843
Name: Lewis Connolly.

52
00:02:12,843 --> 00:02:16,003
Achievements: national record
for most wanks in a day

53
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,003
and most scraps in a day.

54
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:21,003
Wow. Hobbies:
hacking me best mate's TikTok. Eeh.

55
00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:22,363
Straighteners.
Aw, me ideal straightener

56
00:02:22,363 --> 00:02:25,003
would defo be Vladimir Putin,
and saying,

57
00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:27,203
"I'm not racist, lad, but..."

58
00:02:27,203 --> 00:02:29,003
THEY LAUGH
Let me do one.

59
00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:32,003
Erm... yeah, him.

60
00:02:32,003 --> 00:02:34,003
Name? Mo Fassi.

61
00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:37,003
Achievements?
Erm, I can put my Goodfella's pizza

62
00:02:37,003 --> 00:02:40,003
in the oven all by myself,
without me ma's help.

63
00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:41,203
Hobbies? Staying up till 3am

64
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,003
watching some fella on YouTube
rate fried chicken.

65
00:02:44,003 --> 00:02:46,683
THEY LAUGH

66
00:02:46,683 --> 00:02:49,003
Anyways, girl, get you arse here.
It's a big week for you.

67
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:52,683
'What are you doing?'
Er, I'm just doin' me nails.

68
00:02:52,683 --> 00:02:54,003
I'll be there in a bit.

69
00:02:54,003 --> 00:02:56,003
'All right, love,
I'll see you soon.'

70
00:03:02,003 --> 00:03:03,003
SOFTLY: Dad.

71
00:03:05,363 --> 00:03:08,003
Dad!
HE SNORES

72
00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:11,203
I swear, I wasn't there!

73
00:03:11,203 --> 00:03:13,003
Is it fair to say, Mr Duffy,

74
00:03:13,003 --> 00:03:15,003
that you frequent that area
most evenings?

75
00:03:15,003 --> 00:03:17,003
Yeah, but I wasn't there
that evening.

76
00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:20,003
Is it correct, Mr Duffy, that your
previous conviction was for theft?

77
00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:24,003
That was the biggest mistake
of me life, and I paid the price.

78
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:26,003
I don't even get to see
me kids any more.

79
00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:27,683
HE SOBS

80
00:03:27,683 --> 00:03:32,003
Oh, I'm sorry, Reece,
I didn't mean to hit a raw nerve.

81
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,363
LAUGHTER

82
00:03:33,363 --> 00:03:35,363
OK. Very clever.

83
00:03:35,363 --> 00:03:38,003
That was an example
of a cross-examination.

84
00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:40,683
My name's Lorna, I'm a barrister,

85
00:03:40,683 --> 00:03:43,003
and I think it's great you're
all getting enthused about law

86
00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:46,003
as this week,
we'll be staging a mock trial,

87
00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:48,843
and my chambers would like to offer
a mini-pupillage

88
00:03:48,843 --> 00:03:51,003
to the student
that shows the most potential

89
00:03:51,003 --> 00:03:53,003
for a career
in the legal profession.

90
00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:54,363
What's a mini-pupillage?

91
00:03:54,363 --> 00:03:57,003
Connor's nickname for his tiny cock.
LAUGHTER

92
00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:00,363
It's a short
work experience placement

93
00:04:00,363 --> 00:04:03,003
where you'll shadow myself
and attend court hearings.

94
00:04:03,003 --> 00:04:04,203
You should defo pick me, Miss,

95
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,843
cos I am dead good
at just looking at someone

96
00:04:06,843 --> 00:04:08,683
and knowing whether they're a perv.

97
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:10,203
You wouldn't even need
to take it to trial.

98
00:04:10,203 --> 00:04:13,003
I'll bear that in mind.
Thank you...?

99
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,003
Mia-Louise Turner.

100
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,003
Thank you, Mia-Louise.

101
00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:18,003
OK, I have your answers here

102
00:04:18,003 --> 00:04:20,003
to the legal question
we posed last week.

103
00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:23,003
Barry has been charged
with manslaughter

104
00:04:23,003 --> 00:04:25,003
after an altercation
with his friend Terry

105
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:28,003
ended with Terry falling
and striking his head,

106
00:04:28,003 --> 00:04:29,003
causing his death.

107
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,363
How would you advise Barry?

108
00:04:30,363 --> 00:04:33,003
A lot of you gave general advice
to Barry,

109
00:04:33,003 --> 00:04:34,203
when the question
meant legal advice.

110
00:04:34,203 --> 00:04:37,003
"Change your name.
Nobody's called Barry any more."

111
00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:39,003
"I heard it was a sex game
gone wrong."

112
00:04:39,003 --> 00:04:40,003
LAUGHTER

113
00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:41,683
"Have you got
Terry's missus' number?

114
00:04:41,683 --> 00:04:44,003
"She's on the market,
and I heard she's a stunner."

115
00:04:44,003 --> 00:04:47,203
But me two favourite answers
were Christopher,

116
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:51,003
who advised, "He should plead guilty
to involuntary manslaughter

117
00:04:51,003 --> 00:04:53,003
"for a reduced sentence,"

118
00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:56,003
and Reece, who took
a more unorthodox approach

119
00:04:56,003 --> 00:04:58,843
and said, "Bazza should say
he was sleepwalking."

120
00:04:58,843 --> 00:05:00,003
I got the idea
when Connor stayed at mine.

121
00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:02,003
I punched him in the head
in the night

122
00:05:02,003 --> 00:05:03,363
and said I was sleepwalking.

123
00:05:03,363 --> 00:05:06,003
He believed me! Classic automatism.

124
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:08,003
Very good, Reece.

125
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:11,043
Automatism is indeed
a valid legal defence.

126
00:05:11,043 --> 00:05:13,003
So, well done to Christopher,

127
00:05:13,003 --> 00:05:14,843
who will be
the prosecuting barrister,

128
00:05:14,843 --> 00:05:17,003
and Reece, who will defend.

129
00:05:19,003 --> 00:05:22,003
This is the mock trial we'll be
getting our teeth into...

130
00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:24,003
Er, Miss? Are you messing?

131
00:05:24,003 --> 00:05:26,203
Who cares whether Benjamin
had his bike stolen?

132
00:05:26,203 --> 00:05:29,003
He's about 30
and still wearing those shorts?

133
00:05:29,003 --> 00:05:30,043
Nonce territory, that, Miss.

134
00:05:30,043 --> 00:05:33,003
Yeah, can't we do something
more interesting, like?

135
00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:36,003
We should trial Lewis
for hacking Aimee's TikTok

136
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,003
and posting a video
slagging off girls in the school,

137
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:40,003
so everyone thinks she posted it.

138
00:05:40,003 --> 00:05:43,003
ROBOT VOICE:
Freya Moore's dad is in prison,

139
00:05:43,003 --> 00:05:45,003
and her mum is a drunkard crackhead,

140
00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:49,003
but the most tragic thing about her
is still that shocking unibrow.

141
00:05:49,003 --> 00:05:51,843
And he's still denying it, the rat.
CLAMOUR

142
00:05:51,843 --> 00:05:54,003
All right, that.
He's bang out of order.

143
00:05:54,003 --> 00:05:55,003
OK, OK.

144
00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:58,843
This is clearly a passionate issue
dear to all your hearts.

145
00:05:58,843 --> 00:06:02,003
Let's do it.
Lewis is in the mud!

146
00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:03,003
Mudded!

147
00:06:03,003 --> 00:06:05,043
CHEERING

148
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,683
Wealth.

149
00:06:12,683 --> 00:06:15,003
What does it do?

150
00:06:15,003 --> 00:06:17,003
Does wealth define dreams?

151
00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:20,003
Or do dreams define wealth?

152
00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:22,683
This door won't open.

153
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,003
It's locked!

154
00:06:24,003 --> 00:06:27,003
Inequality within
the acting profession.

155
00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:29,003
Glass ceiling?

156
00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:32,843
Don't you mean class ceiling?

157
00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:36,003
Eeh.

158
00:06:36,003 --> 00:06:38,003
Oh, I'm a bellend.

159
00:06:38,003 --> 00:06:41,003
Don't you mean,
I'm a complete bellend?

160
00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:43,003
APPLAUSE

161
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:50,003
That was a little piece that I wrote
about how access and success

162
00:06:50,003 --> 00:06:52,003
within the British acting profession

163
00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:56,363
is increasingly dominated by those
from privileged class origins.

164
00:06:56,363 --> 00:06:58,003
But I wanna change that.

165
00:06:58,003 --> 00:07:03,003
I wanna show you
how to unlock that door.

166
00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:06,003
Yeah? I just wanna say,
I loved your use of stage proxemics.

167
00:07:06,003 --> 00:07:08,843
It really helped emphasise
the points of tension.

168
00:07:08,843 --> 00:07:11,003
Thank you very much.
What's your name?

169
00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:12,003
Grace.

170
00:07:12,003 --> 00:07:15,843
In Greek mythology, it means charm,
beauty and fertility.

171
00:07:15,843 --> 00:07:18,043
Well, you're obviously a very
knowledgeable young lady, Grace.

172
00:07:18,043 --> 00:07:21,003
Thanks.
I go to an evening drama school,

173
00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:23,003
and we cover a lot
of the techniques there.

174
00:07:23,003 --> 00:07:24,003
Fantastic.

175
00:07:24,003 --> 00:07:29,003
So, who else, like our Grace here,
has the drive to become an actor?

176
00:07:29,003 --> 00:07:32,523
Me. My dream is to become
the first person from Merseyside

177
00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:36,003
to win an Oscar
since Glenda Jackson in 1973.

178
00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:37,003
LAUGHTER

179
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:41,003
Eeh, why are youse laughing?
Eh, it's called ambition.

180
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,843
Yeah, but you also need hard work

181
00:07:42,843 --> 00:07:45,003
to go along
with that blind ambition.

182
00:07:45,003 --> 00:07:48,003
So, what do you do
to really push yourself?

183
00:07:48,003 --> 00:07:50,003
I do drama GCSE.

184
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,523
Well, if you really want that Oscar,

185
00:07:52,523 --> 00:07:55,003
maybe you should be doing more,
like our Grace here.

186
00:07:55,003 --> 00:07:59,363
So, the school has asked me to do
an acting masterclass this week,

187
00:07:59,363 --> 00:08:03,003
but I'm also casting
for an indie film project

188
00:08:03,003 --> 00:08:06,003
about young, working-class kids
growing up in Liverpool.

189
00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:08,003
But I thought you
were a fancy film director?

190
00:08:08,003 --> 00:08:10,003
No, I'm a casting director,

191
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:12,683
so I choose the right actors
for the films.

192
00:08:12,683 --> 00:08:14,003
Oh, that sounds easy, that.

193
00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:16,523
"You, you're good. Be in that."

194
00:08:16,523 --> 00:08:19,003
I want to cast
the female lead locally,

195
00:08:19,003 --> 00:08:22,003
so I'll be visiting a few schools
over the next few weeks,

196
00:08:22,003 --> 00:08:25,203
and I'll invite the best
from each school to a casting day.

197
00:08:25,203 --> 00:08:28,003
Why don't you just be
a real director instead?

198
00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:31,003
Er, it's not exactly as easy
as all that.

199
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:32,003
So, if you're interested,

200
00:08:32,003 --> 00:08:35,003
auditions will be held
Wednesday afternoon.

201
00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:37,003
Let's get rehearsing!

202
00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:39,003
What are you having a go at him for?
Come on, it was funny.

203
00:08:39,003 --> 00:08:43,003
You do realise he's gonna cast
someone for an actual film?

204
00:08:43,003 --> 00:08:44,003
It would kinda help if he liked me.

205
00:08:44,003 --> 00:08:46,003
All right, well,
what's got into you?

206
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,003
And why did you say
about putting Lewis on trial?

207
00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:50,003
Er, what do you mean?
I was trying to help you!

208
00:08:50,003 --> 00:08:53,003
Rehearsals are where
the real hard work happens.

209
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:57,003
They'll either darken
your performance or...

210
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,003
light it up.

211
00:09:03,003 --> 00:09:06,683
Good luck, my learned friend!
Me name's Reece, mate, not Leonard.

212
00:09:06,683 --> 00:09:08,003
May the best man win.

213
00:09:08,003 --> 00:09:10,523
May the man with
the poshest voice win, you mean.

214
00:09:10,523 --> 00:09:13,003
Oh, come on!
You belong in the courtroom too.

215
00:09:13,003 --> 00:09:15,003
Putting in the doors!
LAUGHS

216
00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,003
Lad, you're obsessed, you,
aren't you?

217
00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:18,523
Don't get so busy making a living

218
00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:20,203
that you forget to live your life, yeah?

219
00:09:22,043 --> 00:09:24,003
See you in court!

220
00:09:24,003 --> 00:09:26,003
MUSIC: 'Black Betty'
by Ram Jam

221
00:09:28,003 --> 00:09:30,003
I'm gonna cross-examine
these bad boys.

222
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,003
SNIFFS

223
00:09:40,043 --> 00:09:42,003
Yeah, that's the one! That's it.

224
00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:44,003
That's it. That is it, lad.
DOOR OPENS

225
00:09:44,003 --> 00:09:46,003
Seriously, Reece?

226
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:52,003
'Are you messing, lad?'

227
00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:56,003
It's gotta be Fowler, dickhead.

228
00:09:56,003 --> 00:09:59,043
He was nicer looking.
Yeah, he's nicer looking.

229
00:10:14,003 --> 00:10:17,003
GROANING

230
00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:25,003
Good luck.

231
00:10:25,003 --> 00:10:28,363
Looks like you've got a bowl
of Koka noodles on your head, lad.

232
00:10:28,363 --> 00:10:31,003
I just look professional.
At least I make an effort.

233
00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:34,003
Order!

234
00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:36,003
RAP MUSIC PLAYS

235
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,203
JEERING

236
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,003
GIRL: Look at the state of him!

237
00:10:40,003 --> 00:10:42,843
What, then? What? What?

238
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,003
Tell me!
LORNA: Lewis.

239
00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:47,003
We go way back!

240
00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:48,003
She's the one that got me off

241
00:10:48,003 --> 00:10:50,003
when I was accused of smashing
a motorbike up.

242
00:10:50,003 --> 00:10:54,003
She is a superb barrister.
That's very kind, thank you.

243
00:10:54,003 --> 00:10:57,003
And I 100% did it as well,
so she's very good, like.

244
00:10:57,003 --> 00:11:00,363
OK, Christopher, are you ready
for your opening statement?

245
00:11:00,363 --> 00:11:03,003
Members of the jury,
this case is simple.

246
00:11:03,003 --> 00:11:05,003
It is about an angry man
who sought revenge.

247
00:11:05,003 --> 00:11:07,043
And when he remembered
his ex-girlfriend

248
00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:10,003
doesn't use two-step authentication
on her TikTok account,

249
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:14,003
he saw his chance to strike!
GASPS

250
00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:17,003
Miss Aimee Morris is a kind,
passionate,

251
00:11:17,003 --> 00:11:18,683
driven young woman,

252
00:11:18,683 --> 00:11:22,203
and hacking into her account
and posting a defamatory video

253
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:25,003
was a deliberate attempt
to sabotage that reputation

254
00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:27,003
and paint her as a villain.

255
00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:29,003
But you will hear evidence
during this case

256
00:11:29,003 --> 00:11:32,003
that proves the only villain here...

257
00:11:32,003 --> 00:11:34,003
is Mr Lewis Connolly.
Nah.

258
00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:36,003
JEERING
I'm no villain, me.

259
00:11:36,003 --> 00:11:38,043
If any of youse reckon I'm guilty,
yeah,

260
00:11:38,043 --> 00:11:41,523
I'll bring your mas here
to the court and shag them.

261
00:11:41,523 --> 00:11:44,003
And even if you say, "Objection,"
I'll keep shagging them.

262
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,003
JEERING

263
00:11:46,003 --> 00:11:48,003
Order!

264
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,003
Reece, do you actually have
an opening statement?

265
00:11:56,003 --> 00:11:58,203
Yes. Yes, I do.

266
00:11:58,203 --> 00:12:01,003
Members of the jury,
would you please?

267
00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:08,003
ALL CHANT: Reece! Reece! Reece!
Reece! Reece! Reece!

268
00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:10,003
Lads, you need to take this
seriously!

269
00:12:10,003 --> 00:12:12,003
Reece! Reece! Reece! Reece!

270
00:12:12,003 --> 00:12:14,003
Order! Order!

271
00:12:14,003 --> 00:12:18,003
Would you say Lewis was bitter
about you breaking up with him?

272
00:12:18,003 --> 00:12:20,843
So bitter that he sought revenge?

273
00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:24,003
Defo. He used to write me
these weird love poems.

274
00:12:24,003 --> 00:12:26,003
For the purpose of the court,
Mr Connolly,

275
00:12:26,003 --> 00:12:29,003
can you please read out
the evidence as presented?

276
00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:34,003
A...

277
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,003
is for "amazing tits".

278
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:36,003
Vile.

279
00:12:36,003 --> 00:12:38,003
I...

280
00:12:38,003 --> 00:12:40,003
is for "interesting arse".

281
00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:42,003
And he wonders why I left him.
M...

282
00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:44,523
...is for "marvellous fanny".

283
00:12:44,523 --> 00:12:47,003
GIRL: Ugh!
E...

284
00:12:48,003 --> 00:12:51,003
...is for "excited to eat you out".

285
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:52,043
Knocks me sick.
E...

286
00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:55,003
...is for "eating you out".

287
00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:56,003
BOY: Ugh!
Hang on!

288
00:12:56,003 --> 00:12:57,683
He stole that
from a John Keates poem!

289
00:12:57,683 --> 00:12:59,003
ALL: Who?

290
00:13:00,523 --> 00:13:04,003
Miss Morris,
could you please look at this?

291
00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:07,003
ALL CHANT:
Let's all do the beach, man!

292
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,003
Let's all do the beach, man!

293
00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:12,043
Nah, nah, nah, nah!
Order in the court!

294
00:13:12,043 --> 00:13:14,003
Members of the jury,

295
00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:17,003
I hired an online sleuth
to obtain the IP address

296
00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:19,203
of where the TikTok post originated.

297
00:13:19,203 --> 00:13:21,003
What the fuck's a sleuth?

298
00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:23,003
And this is the e-mail I received
which states

299
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:27,363
that the IP address matches
a computer in the school library.

300
00:13:27,363 --> 00:13:29,003
So?
Who cares?

301
00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:31,003
OK, well, wait for this.

302
00:13:31,003 --> 00:13:34,003
We have an eyewitness statement
that says they saw Mr Connolly

303
00:13:34,003 --> 00:13:39,003
using that same computer
on Friday at 12:29.

304
00:13:39,003 --> 00:13:40,363
What is he on about?
Who cares?

305
00:13:40,363 --> 00:13:44,003
The TikTok post was made at 12:31!

306
00:13:44,003 --> 00:13:46,003
GASPS

307
00:13:46,003 --> 00:13:49,003
CLAMOUR

308
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,003
You're finished.

309
00:14:03,003 --> 00:14:05,003
Lad, I need your help.
I didn't do it.

310
00:14:05,003 --> 00:14:08,003
Behave, lad.
Look, like, that poem, yeah?

311
00:14:08,003 --> 00:14:10,003
I just wanted her to know
I was hurting because...

312
00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,003
...it kills me that I love her

313
00:14:13,003 --> 00:14:14,043
and she doesn't feel the same
about me.

314
00:14:14,043 --> 00:14:16,003
Please?

315
00:14:16,003 --> 00:14:17,003
If you get me off,
no more dad jokes.

316
00:14:17,003 --> 00:14:20,523
OK, OK, maybe down to, like,
one a month.

317
00:14:20,523 --> 00:14:24,003
I'll make a conscious shift
from quantity to quality.

318
00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:25,363
Swear down.

319
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,003
Can someone get back to me
and tell me why it's been moved?

320
00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:38,003
He's not going through
another two weeks of hell.

321
00:14:43,003 --> 00:14:46,003
WAILING

322
00:14:46,003 --> 00:14:48,003
Give me the drugs!

323
00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:50,003
Cor, this dickhead and his torches.

324
00:14:50,003 --> 00:14:53,003
Don't make me shoot my own brother!

325
00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:55,003
WHIMPERS

326
00:14:56,003 --> 00:14:58,043
APPLAUSE

327
00:14:58,043 --> 00:15:03,003
And that was completely improvised
because in acting,

328
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,003
sometimes you have to think
on your feet.

329
00:15:05,003 --> 00:15:08,003
Do you know, it actually felt
really real, Sir.

330
00:15:08,003 --> 00:15:11,003
Like, me dad killed his brother
just last week for drugs.

331
00:15:11,003 --> 00:15:15,003
And the street name for all drugs
these days is just "drugs".

332
00:15:15,003 --> 00:15:16,843
Saves all the confusion.

333
00:15:16,843 --> 00:15:18,843
Thank you.

334
00:15:18,843 --> 00:15:22,003
And I'm sorry for your loss.

335
00:15:22,003 --> 00:15:24,003
Let's do some improv situations.

336
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:25,003
I'll set you in pairs,

337
00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:28,003
and you can use this torch
as a creative prop

338
00:15:28,003 --> 00:15:30,003
to help inspire the scene.

339
00:15:30,003 --> 00:15:35,003
Welcome to
the Socially "In just this" podcast.

340
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:38,003
This week,
we're discussing white privilege.

341
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,003
My guest today is Mia-Louise.

342
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,003
Good afternoon.
Er...

343
00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:44,003
you're white privilege, girl,
for saying "good afternoon"

344
00:15:44,003 --> 00:15:46,003
just cos white people
have generally had good afternoons.

345
00:15:46,003 --> 00:15:48,003
What about Black people and slavery?

346
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:50,043
They weren't good afternoons,
were they?

347
00:15:50,043 --> 00:15:54,003
So, according to our records,
you've been unemployed

348
00:15:54,003 --> 00:15:56,003
and on Universal Credit
for two years since leaving school.

349
00:15:56,003 --> 00:15:58,003
How's that job search going?

350
00:15:58,003 --> 00:16:00,003
I'm sure there's something
out there for me. Hmm.

351
00:16:00,003 --> 00:16:01,203
Hm.

352
00:16:01,203 --> 00:16:05,003
What is white privilege?

353
00:16:05,003 --> 00:16:06,003
How do we define it?

354
00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:09,003
Er, is it a young white girl
who thinks she's interesting enough

355
00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:13,003
to have her own podcast and then
constantly emails everyone about it?

356
00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:15,003
I've found a cleaning job
here at Asda.

357
00:16:15,003 --> 00:16:17,003
Would you be interested?

358
00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:19,003
Nothing against cleaning,
but I'd like to do something

359
00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:21,523
in the entertainment industry.

360
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:26,003
Oh, my God, the host of the podcast
has just been arrested live on air.

361
00:16:26,003 --> 00:16:28,843
For a violent racial hate crime.
On a woman.

362
00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:30,683
Who was also a refugee!

363
00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:35,003
Then she's burnt the Pride flag,
and she's even chopped down a tree!

364
00:16:35,003 --> 00:16:37,203
But sometimes you have to be
a bit more realistic

365
00:16:37,203 --> 00:16:39,003
with our careers.

366
00:16:39,003 --> 00:16:41,203
You know, we can't waste our lives
chasing an unrealistic dream

367
00:16:41,203 --> 00:16:43,043
with nothing to fall back on.
PHONE BUZZING

368
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:47,003
For example, you try to make it
as a singer, fail

369
00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:50,003
and end up becoming
a bad Elvis impersonator

370
00:16:50,003 --> 00:16:51,363
who can't support his family.

371
00:16:51,363 --> 00:16:54,003
Shut up, you stupid, pouty bitch!

372
00:16:54,003 --> 00:16:56,003
GASPS

373
00:16:56,003 --> 00:16:59,003
Exceptional, Grace.

374
00:16:59,003 --> 00:17:02,043
The conflict really helped
imbue the scene with emotion.

375
00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:07,843
I'll see you guys tomorrow,
at 1pm sharp, for the auditions.

376
00:17:07,843 --> 00:17:10,003
Thanks for calling me back.
WOMAN: 'How's tomorrow?'

377
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:12,683
Tomorrow is great. What time?
'1pm?

378
00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:16,003
'Love?'
Yeah.

379
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:18,523
Yeah, that's OK.

380
00:17:18,523 --> 00:17:21,003
Calling a hit on Grace?

381
00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:24,003
My first was tough too,
but sometimes it has to be done.

382
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,003
Don't worry.

383
00:17:27,003 --> 00:17:29,003
You're gonna do great
in the audition.

384
00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:32,043
And tomorrow this whole school's
going to know what Lewis did to you.

385
00:17:35,523 --> 00:17:39,043
Hello there.
I'm so sorry, can I cancel that hit?

386
00:17:39,043 --> 00:17:42,043
Yeah, this posh divvy's
making me feel a lot better.

387
00:17:42,043 --> 00:17:45,003
OK, thank you. Take care, bye-bye!

388
00:17:47,203 --> 00:17:50,003
CHATTER

389
00:17:55,843 --> 00:17:57,003
Order!

390
00:17:57,003 --> 00:17:59,003
In the absence
of the defending barrister,

391
00:17:59,003 --> 00:18:00,203
and on the charge of Lewis Connolly

392
00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:03,843
hacking me mate's TikTok
and generally being a bad ming,

393
00:18:03,843 --> 00:18:06,003
how do we find him?

394
00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,003
Stop!
GASPS

395
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:10,683
The defence has some new evidence it
would like to share with the jury.

396
00:18:10,683 --> 00:18:13,003
My "Leonard" friend said

397
00:18:13,003 --> 00:18:18,003
that Mr Connolly was last seen
on said computer at 12:29.

398
00:18:18,003 --> 00:18:20,003
And he's right, he was.

399
00:18:20,003 --> 00:18:21,363
What are you playing at, lad?

400
00:18:22,683 --> 00:18:25,003
But he wasn't on Aimee's TikTok.

401
00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:28,003
He was printing materials off
for his big lunchtime wank,

402
00:18:28,003 --> 00:18:30,043
cos everybody knows
he's not a good mind wanker.

403
00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:33,003
MURMURS OF AGREEMENT
Lewis then took these materials

404
00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:36,003
and enjoyed his lunchtime wank
in the bog.

405
00:18:36,003 --> 00:18:38,003
Now, ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

406
00:18:38,003 --> 00:18:40,003
can you help me with a question?

407
00:18:40,003 --> 00:18:45,003
What time did my "Leonard" friend

408
00:18:45,003 --> 00:18:46,843
say the TikTok post was made?

409
00:18:46,843 --> 00:18:48,043
12:31.

410
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,003
Thank you for your assistance.

411
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,003
Now, as we all know,

412
00:18:52,003 --> 00:18:54,003
Meachy likes to keep
a close eye on us.

413
00:18:54,003 --> 00:18:57,203
So, here we have
Friday's CCTV footage

414
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,683
of the south corridor,

415
00:18:58,683 --> 00:19:00,003
where you will now see Mr Connolly

416
00:19:00,003 --> 00:19:04,003
leaving the bogs
in post-nut clarity bliss.

417
00:19:04,003 --> 00:19:06,043
BOY: Dirty bastard.
GIRL: Vile.

418
00:19:06,043 --> 00:19:09,003
Now, I know what youse are thinking,
ladies and gentlemen.

419
00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:11,003
Lewis was on the computer at 12:29.

420
00:19:11,003 --> 00:19:15,003
He printed his materials,
posted the TikTok at 12:31,

421
00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:16,003
then went for his elite
lunchtime wank.

422
00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:18,203
Except he didn't.

423
00:19:18,203 --> 00:19:21,003
Because the time here is 12:32!

424
00:19:21,003 --> 00:19:23,003
GASPS
I didn't post it!

425
00:19:23,003 --> 00:19:24,003
I therefore put to you

426
00:19:24,003 --> 00:19:27,003
that Mr Connolly
was actually wankin'

427
00:19:27,003 --> 00:19:28,003
at the time in question.

428
00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:30,003
GASPS
Oh, and also,

429
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:33,003
he's a rapid wanker too.

430
00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:35,003
Get in!

431
00:19:37,003 --> 00:19:39,003
TEARFULLY: Thank you so much.
I didn't post it.

432
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:41,003
Y-You do believe me, don't you?

433
00:19:41,003 --> 00:19:43,523
I know we've never been
the best of mates, but...

434
00:19:43,523 --> 00:19:45,523
Oh, my God, you don't.

435
00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:49,003
TED: Oh, my God. She did it.

436
00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:51,203
Thank you, son.
It's OK.

437
00:19:51,203 --> 00:19:52,683
Reece.

438
00:19:52,683 --> 00:19:55,003
Could you come by our chambers
after school

439
00:19:55,003 --> 00:19:58,003
to sort out the paperwork,
meet your fellow cohorts?

440
00:20:01,003 --> 00:20:03,003
CHANTING: Reece! Reece! Reece!

441
00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:05,003
Reece! Reece! Reece!

442
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:07,003
Reece! Reece! Reece! Reece!
Reece! Reece!

443
00:20:07,003 --> 00:20:09,043
Reece! Reece! Reece! Reece!
CHEERING

444
00:20:10,203 --> 00:20:12,003
Aims? Where you going?

445
00:20:13,523 --> 00:20:16,003
Wahey-hey! Come on!

446
00:20:16,003 --> 00:20:18,003
THEY CHEER
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

447
00:20:18,003 --> 00:20:22,003
And when CCTV caught me putting
six school laptops in me car,

448
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:23,523
Meachy deepfaked it, lad.

449
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:27,003
I'm innocent! Come on!
CHEERING

450
00:20:27,003 --> 00:20:28,003
Come on!

451
00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:39,003
MUSIC: 'Dancing Girl'
by Terry Callier

452
00:20:43,003 --> 00:20:45,003
♪ I saw a dream last night

453
00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:46,523
♪ Bright like a falling star... ♪

454
00:20:46,523 --> 00:20:49,003
Is she not coming?

455
00:20:49,003 --> 00:20:51,003
♪ And the sources of light,

456
00:20:51,003 --> 00:20:55,003
♪ Seemed so near... ♪

457
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,003
'Ere.

458
00:20:56,003 --> 00:20:57,003
♪ Yet so far... ♪

459
00:20:57,003 --> 00:21:00,003
CASTING DIRECTOR:
Right, next we have...

460
00:21:00,003 --> 00:21:02,003
Grace.

461
00:21:02,003 --> 00:21:04,003
Eeh, why is she dressed like Aims?

462
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:07,003
I'll fucking hit her.

463
00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:08,043
Thanks for coming in, Aimee.

464
00:21:08,043 --> 00:21:12,003
As I was saying to your father,
we've analysed the MRI scan results.

465
00:21:12,003 --> 00:21:16,003
Unfortunately, it has confirmed
areas of lesions in the brain.

466
00:21:17,003 --> 00:21:18,003
I'll be OK.

467
00:21:18,003 --> 00:21:20,003
The cost-of-living crises

468
00:21:20,003 --> 00:21:22,003
has brought you
to the bones of your arse,

469
00:21:22,003 --> 00:21:25,003
and now you've just been fired.

470
00:21:25,003 --> 00:21:26,003
You can't do that!

471
00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:28,003
It's humiliating as it is,

472
00:21:28,003 --> 00:21:33,003
having to rely on charities
for toothpaste and bog roll.

473
00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:37,003
I have a kid,
and her da does nothing.

474
00:21:37,003 --> 00:21:39,003
I'm on me own.

475
00:21:39,003 --> 00:21:40,003
Please!

476
00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:45,523
♪ Each of us is born alone... ♪

477
00:21:45,523 --> 00:21:47,003
Look...

478
00:21:47,003 --> 00:21:49,003
we knew it was coming, didn't we?

479
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:51,003
'Ey?

480
00:21:51,003 --> 00:21:55,003
Just think, the shaky legs
will help with me Elvis routine.

481
00:21:55,003 --> 00:21:57,523
Come on.

482
00:21:57,523 --> 00:22:00,003
♪ Well, welcome to
The twilight zone... ♪

483
00:22:02,003 --> 00:22:03,003
Right, I'm doing me audition,

484
00:22:03,003 --> 00:22:06,003
but I'm doing an improvised
monologue that fits the character.

485
00:22:06,003 --> 00:22:09,003
Aimee, you're too late.
I have to get my train.

486
00:22:10,843 --> 00:22:13,003
What do you do when
you feel like you're drowning?

487
00:22:13,003 --> 00:22:17,003
When you go from being a kid

488
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:21,003
to suddenly having to deal with
heartbreak,

489
00:22:21,003 --> 00:22:24,043
misery, anger?

490
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,363
They don't teach you that in school,
do they?

491
00:22:28,003 --> 00:22:31,003
They act like...

492
00:22:31,003 --> 00:22:34,003
as long as you study hard,
you'll be happy.

493
00:22:34,003 --> 00:22:37,003
What they don't say is, one day...

494
00:22:38,363 --> 00:22:41,043
...you might get bad news...

495
00:22:41,043 --> 00:22:44,003
that makes you feel like
you've been thrown

496
00:22:44,003 --> 00:22:48,683
into a deep hole of despair.

497
00:22:48,683 --> 00:22:51,003
When you're a kid,

498
00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:55,003
there is no problem
that your parents can't solve.

499
00:22:57,003 --> 00:22:59,003
They're indestructible.

500
00:23:02,003 --> 00:23:04,003
And then you get older...

501
00:23:06,003 --> 00:23:09,003
...and it's devastating
to realise that they aren't.

502
00:23:09,003 --> 00:23:14,003
Maybe that's why no-one prepares you
for being an adult.

503
00:23:15,003 --> 00:23:17,003
Because they're still not prepared.

504
00:23:20,003 --> 00:23:22,003
Maybe nothing can prepare you.

505
00:23:26,003 --> 00:23:28,843
That was good, Aimee. Very good.

506
00:23:30,003 --> 00:23:33,003
But you know what?
I just can't rely on you.

507
00:23:33,003 --> 00:23:35,003
You're late, you're irritable,

508
00:23:35,003 --> 00:23:37,003
and quite frankly, you're trouble,

509
00:23:37,003 --> 00:23:38,363
and people don't like working
with trouble.

510
00:23:39,843 --> 00:23:43,003
Grace... I'll see you in London.

511
00:23:43,003 --> 00:23:45,003
'Ey, Jenson!

512
00:23:45,003 --> 00:23:47,203
I looked you up on LinkedIn. Yeah.

513
00:23:47,203 --> 00:23:50,003
You from around here, are you?
You're a fraud.

514
00:23:50,003 --> 00:23:53,523
You're a joke, mate.
This whole school's a joke!

515
00:23:53,523 --> 00:23:56,003
It's full of bad gimps!
GASPS, JEERS

516
00:23:56,003 --> 00:23:58,003
You can all fuck off, mate!

517
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:00,003
Aims, what's goin' on?

518
00:24:03,003 --> 00:24:05,203
All right, soft lad?

519
00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:09,683
Where've you been?

520
00:24:09,683 --> 00:24:11,523
The fella from your law placement
called me.

521
00:24:11,523 --> 00:24:13,003
He said you did a runner.

522
00:24:13,003 --> 00:24:15,003
I told him you better had the shits
or I'll kill you.

523
00:24:15,003 --> 00:24:17,363
I've put it on Instagram, Reece!

524
00:24:17,363 --> 00:24:21,203
"Hashtag so proud.
Hashtag lawyer in the family.

525
00:24:21,203 --> 00:24:23,843
"Hashtag not the accused this time."

526
00:24:23,843 --> 00:24:26,003
I know, Mum. I saw the 50 hashtags.

527
00:24:26,003 --> 00:24:28,003
Then what the fuck happened?

528
00:24:30,003 --> 00:24:32,003
There was this lad there
called Remington.

529
00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:35,003
Some girl called Persephone.
She was quite fit.

530
00:24:35,003 --> 00:24:39,043
But they were speaking about
Villa versus someone in 2018.

531
00:24:39,043 --> 00:24:42,003
I thought they were speaking
about an FA Cup game,

532
00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:45,003
but it turns out they were
speaking about some legal case,

533
00:24:45,003 --> 00:24:47,003
a guy called Villa.

534
00:24:48,523 --> 00:24:51,003
I felt like a tit, Mum.

535
00:24:51,003 --> 00:24:53,003
So I just left.

536
00:24:55,003 --> 00:24:57,003
Can't say I blame you.

537
00:24:58,003 --> 00:25:02,203
Look, I'm not gonna force you
to go back if you don't want to, OK?

538
00:25:02,203 --> 00:25:06,003
But I can't let you swerve it cos
you don't think you're good enough.

539
00:25:06,003 --> 00:25:07,843
Fuck Persephone!

540
00:25:10,003 --> 00:25:14,003
You've got just as much right to be
there as any of them have, son.

541
00:25:14,003 --> 00:25:16,003
You've just gotta start
believing it, OK?

542
00:25:17,003 --> 00:25:19,003
OK.

543
00:25:19,003 --> 00:25:20,363
Your tea's inside.

544
00:25:20,363 --> 00:25:22,003
Persephone!

545
00:25:25,003 --> 00:25:27,003
"Hashtag so proud?"

546
00:25:29,003 --> 00:25:32,003
I got you a gift to say well done
for winning the case.

547
00:25:35,003 --> 00:25:37,003
For when you start
your joinery apprenticeship.

548
00:25:37,003 --> 00:25:39,363
You mean to say sorry cos you
thought you were gonna win easily?

549
00:25:39,363 --> 00:25:43,003
What? No. I gave you that impression
on purpose to help motivate you,

550
00:25:43,003 --> 00:25:44,003
and it worked.

551
00:25:44,003 --> 00:25:46,003
All right, lad.
I would never assume anything!

552
00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:47,203
I'm not that entitled.

553
00:25:47,203 --> 00:25:51,523
Eurgh, my shoes are so dirty.
Where is he?

554
00:25:51,523 --> 00:25:54,003
WHISTLES

555
00:25:54,003 --> 00:25:55,043
No, no, no, no, no.

556
00:25:55,043 --> 00:25:57,003
Now I'm the boss.

557
00:25:58,003 --> 00:26:00,003
WHISTLES

558
00:26:00,003 --> 00:26:03,003
Now mighty Mo runs
biggest shoeshine company

559
00:26:03,003 --> 00:26:05,003
in whole of Merseyside.

560
00:26:05,003 --> 00:26:06,003
We shine shoes, sir!

561
00:26:06,003 --> 00:26:08,043
Yalla, yalla. Hey! Curly haired boy!

562
00:26:08,043 --> 00:26:11,003
Quicker! Quicker!
LAUGHTER

563
00:26:11,003 --> 00:26:13,003
♪ You don't have to take this crap

564
00:26:14,003 --> 00:26:16,683
♪ You don't have to sit back
And relax

565
00:26:16,683 --> 00:26:22,003
♪ You can actually try changing it

566
00:26:22,003 --> 00:26:25,003
♪ I know we're gonna try
To make this work

567
00:26:25,003 --> 00:26:27,523
♪ Or spend your days
Down in the dirt

568
00:26:27,523 --> 00:26:29,683
♪ You see, things can change

569
00:26:29,683 --> 00:26:31,003
♪ Walls can come tumbling down

570
00:26:31,003 --> 00:26:34,003
♪ Governments crack and systems fall

571
00:26:34,003 --> 00:26:38,843
♪ Cos unity is powerful
♪ Oh, lights go out... ♪

572
00:26:38,843 --> 00:26:41,003
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