1
00:00:00,043 --> 00:00:03,003
What's happening, cornflake head?

2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,003
'Ey, we need to be mates again,
you know.

3
00:00:05,003 --> 00:00:07,203
I've had to turn to drugs
to cope without ya.

4
00:00:12,003 --> 00:00:13,043
Not funny.

5
00:00:13,043 --> 00:00:15,203
I can't believe
you got me up early for this.

6
00:00:17,523 --> 00:00:20,003
Oh, just a little bit dirty.
Oh, just...

7
00:00:20,003 --> 00:00:21,523
Just a little bit more there.

8
00:00:30,003 --> 00:00:31,363
Argh!
Keep pushing.

9
00:00:31,363 --> 00:00:35,003
I can't.
Go on, one more.

10
00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:37,003
One more, come on push.

11
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:42,003
Look, look at him. He's a baby boy.

12
00:00:42,003 --> 00:00:43,003
Congratulations.

13
00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:50,843
You cheatin' prick.
A son. A son! Congratulations.

14
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:52,003
HE LAUGHS

15
00:00:57,003 --> 00:00:59,003
Fancy some FIFA after school later?

16
00:00:59,003 --> 00:01:02,003
I just need to hide a few things
first so you can't steal them.

17
00:01:02,003 --> 00:01:05,003
Lad, I already explained
what happened. I'm joking.

18
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:07,003
Can you bring one of
your controllers, too, though?

19
00:01:07,003 --> 00:01:09,683
I've lost one of mine.
That's cos I stole it from ya room.

20
00:01:09,683 --> 00:01:11,003
THEY LAUGH

21
00:01:19,003 --> 00:01:21,003
HE SPEAKS ARABIC

22
00:01:24,203 --> 00:01:26,003
Didn't you pay for his lunches
last week?

23
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,003
Oh, he's still having problems

24
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:29,003
getting the right ID
for a bank account.

25
00:01:29,003 --> 00:01:31,003
I don't wanna scare you, girl,

26
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:34,003
but you read about things like this
all the time.

27
00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:36,683
Foreign men scamming women
for money.

28
00:01:36,683 --> 00:01:38,003
What are you on about, girl?

29
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:41,203
Like me nan, who met that Adama
fella from Gambia on Facebook.

30
00:01:41,203 --> 00:01:44,003
He moved here, they got married,

31
00:01:44,003 --> 00:01:47,003
and then he divorced her so he could
take half of her life savings.

32
00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:51,003
I mean, no offence to ya nan, girl,
but she was like 74, and he was 25.

33
00:01:51,003 --> 00:01:53,043
It was pretty obvious
he wasn't with her

34
00:01:53,043 --> 00:01:55,003
for her saggy tits and pancake arse.

35
00:01:55,003 --> 00:01:57,003
May she rest in peace.

36
00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:59,003
Are you sure you can trust him?

37
00:01:59,003 --> 00:02:00,843
He lied to you
about speaking English.

38
00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:02,003
Oh, my God, girl, are you jealous?

39
00:02:02,003 --> 00:02:03,203
No, you were the one saying

40
00:02:03,203 --> 00:02:05,843
it's weird
you haven't been to his house yet.

41
00:02:05,843 --> 00:02:08,003
Yeah, well, yesterday,
he had me waiting on the corner,

42
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:11,003
and I could definitely just about
work out which house was his.

43
00:02:11,003 --> 00:02:12,363
So there.
Why was he making you

44
00:02:12,363 --> 00:02:13,843
wait on the corner?

45
00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:16,003
Well, you're one to talk,
chasin' after that posh bellend.

46
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:20,003
As if. I mean, it's getting
a bit embarrasin', to be honest.

47
00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:23,003
He's not interested
in girls like you,

48
00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:24,003
but he doesn't wanna tell you

49
00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:26,003
because he doesn't wanna look
like a snob.

50
00:02:26,003 --> 00:02:29,683
Go away, you divvy.
Oh, don't worry girl. I'm going.

51
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,683
You see, I've actually got
a meetin' with Netflix.

52
00:02:32,683 --> 00:02:36,003
Yeah, they wanna do a documentary
on Ziad, The Libyan Swindler,

53
00:02:36,003 --> 00:02:40,003
about how he manipulated a stupid,
naive girl from Liverpool...

54
00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:41,363
for a fiver.

55
00:02:54,003 --> 00:02:57,043
Oh, Nice 'n' Spicy
just edge it for me.

56
00:03:00,003 --> 00:03:02,003
Aww, lad, if you're a Rib 'n' Saucy
type of guy, it's OK.

57
00:03:02,003 --> 00:03:05,003
They're both
two absolute heavyweights.

58
00:03:05,003 --> 00:03:07,003
My mum's just emailed me.

59
00:03:07,003 --> 00:03:09,003
Oh, no. Have you lost the plot

60
00:03:09,003 --> 00:03:12,003
cos I haven't been around
to keep you sane?

61
00:03:12,003 --> 00:03:14,043
Before she died, she must have
scheduled emails for me.

62
00:03:14,043 --> 00:03:16,363
What does it say?

63
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:21,203
"Hiya, son. Cancer must have got me
by now. Or did it?

64
00:03:21,203 --> 00:03:23,003
"Maybe I faked my death

65
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:27,003
"and now live off-the-grid
in Alaska with an impressive beard."

66
00:03:27,003 --> 00:03:30,003
She had a weird sense of humour.
I love it, lad.

67
00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:34,003
"I know your dad's birthday
was always a tough day for us.

68
00:03:34,003 --> 00:03:37,003
"So I wanna remind you
of the poem we wrote for him.

69
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:45,003
"The image is fading
of what it was like...

70
00:03:45,003 --> 00:03:48,003
"when you would hold me
incredibly tight.

71
00:03:51,003 --> 00:03:53,843
"But I'll give never forget
the feeling you gave...

72
00:03:55,003 --> 00:03:58,003
"..the feeling that
everything was all right."

73
00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:08,003
"I'll keep going
like you're by my side.

74
00:04:08,003 --> 00:04:11,003
"So, when I see you again,
and you ask me how it went,

75
00:04:11,003 --> 00:04:14,523
"I'll tell you it was fun,
and I achieved everything I dreamt.

76
00:04:14,523 --> 00:04:18,003
"Love you, my son.
Hope those words are coming true."

77
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,203
Thanks for taking over.

78
00:04:28,003 --> 00:04:30,003
But did you have to do it
with a mouth full of Nik Naks?

79
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,003
THEY LAUGH

80
00:04:34,363 --> 00:04:38,003
Do you know where your dad lives?
I dunno, I've never met him.

81
00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:41,523
Do you wanna meet him?

82
00:04:41,523 --> 00:04:46,003
No, I'm not arsed.
I did as a kid, though.

83
00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:49,003
You can still make some memories
with your dad.

84
00:04:51,003 --> 00:04:53,203
I'd do anything to make some more
with mine...

85
00:04:53,203 --> 00:04:56,843
even for one day, one hour,
one minute.

86
00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:03,003
I wonder what your da's favourite
Nik Naks were.

87
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:07,003
I have a fading memory
of him eating Rib 'n' Saucy.

88
00:05:07,003 --> 00:05:09,003
THEY LAUGH

89
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:11,003
Come 'ead, lad.

90
00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:16,003
Where the fuck's all this coming
from, Reece?

91
00:05:16,003 --> 00:05:19,203
Do you think I've done a bad job?
No, Mum, you've been amazing.

92
00:05:19,203 --> 00:05:21,003
It's just
I was speaking to Christopher,

93
00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:24,003
and he wrote this poem to his dad,
before he died,

94
00:05:24,003 --> 00:05:26,003
and... just gets ya thinking,
doesn't it?

95
00:05:26,003 --> 00:05:30,203
So what? We can write a poem
to your dad if you want.

96
00:05:30,203 --> 00:05:34,003
Er... 'I know this poem's come
out of the blue,

97
00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:37,003
'but we've never needed ya,
so fuck you.'

98
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,683
See? Easy.
Beautiful, Mum.

99
00:05:39,683 --> 00:05:42,003
Ever since you were born, all
I've done is try and make you happy.

100
00:05:42,003 --> 00:05:45,003
And now I feel like you're tellin'
me I haven't done enough.

101
00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:48,363
No, Mum, that's not true at all.
You have been enough.

102
00:05:48,363 --> 00:05:51,003
I am happy. I am.

103
00:05:53,003 --> 00:05:56,003
Sorry, Mum.
I didn't mean to upset ya.

104
00:05:58,363 --> 00:06:00,203
Are you sure you're ready for this,
Reece?

105
00:06:00,203 --> 00:06:03,003
Yeah, Mum.

106
00:06:03,003 --> 00:06:06,003
Suppose I've always just pushed it
away.

107
00:06:06,003 --> 00:06:09,003
But it's always been
in the back of me head.

108
00:06:09,003 --> 00:06:13,843
Like, "Who is this fella
who's 50% of who I am?" OK.

109
00:06:15,203 --> 00:06:17,043
Well, I'm not ready.

110
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:20,683
But if you are,
then I suppose I need to be.

111
00:06:24,003 --> 00:06:26,003
Your dad's name's Darren.

112
00:06:28,003 --> 00:06:30,003
Disneyland Darren.
Wha'?

113
00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:34,003
I know. Look, his mate said it was
cos he was always goin' on about

114
00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:36,003
this trip he took to Disneyland.

115
00:06:36,003 --> 00:06:38,003
Even when we were having sex,
he kept going on about

116
00:06:38,003 --> 00:06:40,843
how it reminded him
of going down Splash Mountain.

117
00:06:40,843 --> 00:06:44,003
Mum!
I know. I know.

118
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:47,003
It was a one night stand, son.

119
00:06:47,003 --> 00:06:50,003
After I found out I was pregnant,
I tried to find him.

120
00:06:50,003 --> 00:06:53,523
I swear, I did,
but... he's not from round here.

121
00:06:55,003 --> 00:06:59,003
He's from Manchester.
I'm sorry! I know!

122
00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:03,523
I know!
Oh, I tried me best to find him.

123
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,003
So, he doesn't know about me?
No, son.

124
00:07:06,003 --> 00:07:09,003
Once I realised
I couldn't find him,

125
00:07:09,003 --> 00:07:12,043
I knew I had to just focus on you.

126
00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:19,003
And the day you were born...
I promised ya...

127
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:22,003
that I'd be
twice the mum that you deserved,

128
00:07:22,003 --> 00:07:24,003
to make up for the fact
that ye never had your dad.

129
00:07:24,003 --> 00:07:26,003
And ye have been, Mum.

130
00:07:31,003 --> 00:07:33,003
Come here. Come on.

131
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:40,003
I love you.
I love you, too.

132
00:07:40,003 --> 00:07:45,003
Ooh, I love you so much.
Me little gobshite.

133
00:07:50,683 --> 00:07:52,003
Hiya, what are you up to?

134
00:07:52,003 --> 00:07:54,003
Oh, I'm working
on a history project with Ruby.

135
00:07:54,003 --> 00:07:57,003
Hey, did you hear about me dad's
acca comin' in at the weekend?

136
00:07:57,003 --> 00:08:00,523
He won 2,000 quid.
It's crazy, eh?

137
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,003
Why'd you pick Ruby to be
your partner?

138
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,003
She sits by me in the class.

139
00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:09,003
Oh, my God. Has he asked you
to marry him? You wha'?

140
00:08:09,003 --> 00:08:11,683
You haven't given him
your bank details, have ye?

141
00:08:11,683 --> 00:08:13,843
Oh, I'm sure
she'll use the winnings to buy you

142
00:08:13,843 --> 00:08:15,003
lunches and the PS5 you want.

143
00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:20,003
Oh, and your dad defo could have won
more. He cashed out, the pussy.

144
00:08:20,003 --> 00:08:23,003
He choked.
PSG were obvs gonna score.

145
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,363
He's all yours!
Come on, Mia.

146
00:08:25,363 --> 00:08:29,003
Nice one for findin' him, lad,
the Disneyland discussion forums.

147
00:08:29,003 --> 00:08:32,003
You're a genius. This is it?

148
00:08:33,003 --> 00:08:35,003
Well, let's not judge him
on where he lives.

149
00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:37,003
He could still be
a really respectable guy.

150
00:08:42,003 --> 00:08:43,003
Which one of you is Reece?

151
00:08:59,003 --> 00:09:01,003
HE SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY

152
00:09:07,003 --> 00:09:10,003
You're home.

153
00:09:13,003 --> 00:09:15,003
Hey, do you know what's strange, son?

154
00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:19,003
I've been havin' a lot of thoughts
about your mum recently.

155
00:09:19,003 --> 00:09:21,843
So, it's like a higher power's
trying to tell me summat.

156
00:09:21,843 --> 00:09:24,043
A lot of those thoughts
was reaching into the wank bank.

157
00:09:24,043 --> 00:09:27,003
But still...
I know it don't look like much, son.

158
00:09:27,003 --> 00:09:30,003
But I've not been able to work
because of me disability.

159
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,003
I have a severely stubbed toe,

160
00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:37,003
and the pain... radiates
through me legs.

161
00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:40,003
But don't worry because I've got
big, big money coming my way.

162
00:09:40,003 --> 00:09:42,003
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.

163
00:09:44,003 --> 00:09:47,003
I'm always applying
to Pointless, Millionaire.

164
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,003
It's only a matter of time
before I win big.

165
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:53,003
I made it onto The Chase once, son.
Really? How'd ye do?

166
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:55,203
Well, I took the lower offer,
and I still got knocked out,

167
00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,003
but I was very unlucky
with the questions.

168
00:09:57,003 --> 00:10:00,003
Currently doing another application
for Pointless now, as we speak.

169
00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:02,003
Oh, my God!

170
00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:04,363
We should do one together
as a father-and-son team!

171
00:10:04,363 --> 00:10:06,003
I'm all right, to be honest.

172
00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:13,683
Fuckin' hell,
me own son fuckin' hates me.

173
00:10:13,683 --> 00:10:15,003
Hey, he doesn't hate you.

174
00:10:15,003 --> 00:10:17,003
He just needs a bit of time
to get to know you.

175
00:10:21,003 --> 00:10:24,003
Oh, yeah... time.

176
00:10:24,003 --> 00:10:27,003
And time's what we have got, son.
Nothing but time.

177
00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:30,003
And I'm gonna spend every single day

178
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:32,003
making up for the time
that we've lost.

179
00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:36,043
Every... single... day.

180
00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:41,003
Just you... and me... together.

181
00:10:41,003 --> 00:10:44,843
I'm gonna get off.
It-It was nice to meet you.

182
00:10:44,843 --> 00:10:48,003
Oh, really? Hey,
do you wanna go go-karting tomorrow?

183
00:10:48,003 --> 00:10:51,003
I can take you swimming.
Wait, that's it? You're going?

184
00:10:51,003 --> 00:10:53,363
See the state of him?
16 years for him?

185
00:10:53,363 --> 00:10:56,003
I'd rather not know where
I came from, if I came from that.

186
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,003
I need the toilet before we go.

187
00:10:57,003 --> 00:11:00,003
Oh, hurry up, before he asks me
to play catch or something.

188
00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:03,003
Hey, son,
do you know how to ride a bike?

189
00:11:03,003 --> 00:11:04,003
Because I could teach you.

190
00:11:06,003 --> 00:11:07,043
I'll wait outside, lad.

191
00:11:12,003 --> 00:11:15,003
THEY LAUGH
Hey.

192
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:20,003
Do you wanna come to me mum's
birthday meal tomorrow night?

193
00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:21,003
She really wants to meet you,

194
00:11:21,003 --> 00:11:23,003
and we've got
an extra seat at the table

195
00:11:23,003 --> 00:11:26,003
as a certain SOMEONE isn't invited.
Er... s-sure.

196
00:11:26,003 --> 00:11:28,003
Last night, I was looking online,

197
00:11:28,003 --> 00:11:31,003
and I found a local support group
for family members of MS sufferers.

198
00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:33,003
There's one tomorrow night, actually.

199
00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:36,003
What an incredibly thoughtful
gesture, Christopher.

200
00:11:36,003 --> 00:11:39,003
It's great that me mental well-being
is clearly your top priority.

201
00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:41,003
Great, so you meet my parents,

202
00:11:41,003 --> 00:11:43,003
and then after,
I'll go your house and meet yours.

203
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:46,003
It'll be great.
Erm, sure.

204
00:11:46,003 --> 00:11:49,003
Friday night at Ziad's house.
No waiting on the corner.

205
00:11:49,003 --> 00:11:50,003
I know it sounds daunting,

206
00:11:50,003 --> 00:11:52,003
but I could come with you,
if that's OK?

207
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:56,003
Thanks, Christopher. I'd love to go
there tomorrow... together.

208
00:11:56,003 --> 00:11:59,003
So, actually, er, Mia-Louise,
I finally opened the bank account.

209
00:11:59,003 --> 00:12:03,003
So I have the money
that I owe you for the lunches.

210
00:12:03,003 --> 00:12:05,203
Ziad, you don't have to give me
the money back,

211
00:12:05,203 --> 00:12:08,003
but what a wonderful sign of trust
that you have done.

212
00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:09,523
MUSIC: 'Wet Dream'
by Wet Leg

213
00:12:09,523 --> 00:12:11,003
♪ Beam me up
Beam me up

214
00:12:11,003 --> 00:12:13,003
♪ Count me in
Count me in

215
00:12:13,003 --> 00:12:15,003
♪ Three, two, one
Three, two, one

216
00:12:15,003 --> 00:12:16,003
♪ Let's begin. ♪

217
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:20,003
SHAKY SINGING:
♪ It's not time to make a change

218
00:12:20,003 --> 00:12:24,003
♪ Just relax and take it easy

219
00:12:24,003 --> 00:12:26,003
♪ You are young
It's not your fault... ♪

220
00:12:26,003 --> 00:12:28,843
PUPIL: What the fuck's that?
PUPIL: Nonce alert.

221
00:12:28,843 --> 00:12:30,683
♪ You need to know. ♪

222
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:33,003
What ya doing here?
PUPIL: God, is that Reece's da?

223
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,003
No... No... No.
PUPIL: Check his hard drive.

224
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:37,003
No, it's a song about a father

225
00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:39,003
offering up his life experience
for his son.

226
00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:43,003
Which is what I'm gonna do for you.
Just get out, will ya?

227
00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:45,003
CLASS LAUGHS AND JEERS

228
00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:46,003
I've got a surprise for you.

229
00:12:48,203 --> 00:12:50,003
CLASS LAUGHS
PUPIL: The fringe on it.

230
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,003
I've got one for you an' all.

231
00:12:54,683 --> 00:12:57,523
JEERING LAUGHTER

232
00:12:57,523 --> 00:12:59,003
For when I win it big
on me quiz shows.

233
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,003
PUPIL: Sir, have you met Reece's da?

234
00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:05,003
TEACHER: Step away from the kids...
now.

235
00:13:13,003 --> 00:13:17,003
Don't worry about it.
So, wha'? It changes nothing.

236
00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:18,203
BOY: Hm... Nothing.
Chin up, lad.

237
00:13:19,203 --> 00:13:21,003
THEY LAUGH

238
00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:24,683
Nah, I can't do it.
That's your dad in there.

239
00:13:24,683 --> 00:13:26,003
Your life is ruined.

240
00:13:26,003 --> 00:13:29,003
I'm questioning your whole identity.
Shut up!

241
00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:31,003
Reece,
Disneyland Darren's not your dad.

242
00:13:31,003 --> 00:13:32,003
If only, lad.

243
00:13:32,003 --> 00:13:33,003
No, when we were there,

244
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:35,003
I went to bathroom
so I could get a hair sample.

245
00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:38,003
I ordered a DNA test,
and I just got the results.

246
00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:41,003
He's not your dad.
You're serious? He's not me dad?

247
00:13:42,003 --> 00:13:45,003
You did that for me, lad? Nice one.
But, erm...

248
00:13:46,003 --> 00:13:48,003
...how did you get
me hair sample, though?

249
00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:50,003
My bin still had your pubes in it

250
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:52,043
from when you thought it was funny
to keep leaving them on my pillow.

251
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:54,003
THEY LAUGH

252
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,363
I can't believe it, son.

253
00:13:59,003 --> 00:14:01,003
I was convinced
he was your dad cos...

254
00:14:01,003 --> 00:14:02,003
Cos what, mum?

255
00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:04,043
Cos...
when I slept with someone else

256
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,003
the next weekend,
we used protection.

257
00:14:06,003 --> 00:14:08,003
Oh, my God.
Don't look at me like that!

258
00:14:08,003 --> 00:14:10,003
Me nan had just died.

259
00:14:10,003 --> 00:14:13,003
I was bladdered for three months,
out looking for distractions.

260
00:14:13,003 --> 00:14:18,003
Which is why I admire you so much,
just processing all the emotions.

261
00:14:18,003 --> 00:14:19,203
So, who is he, then?

262
00:14:19,203 --> 00:14:22,043
And please don't say
Universal Studios Steve.

263
00:14:23,003 --> 00:14:25,003
I didn't get his real name.

264
00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:30,003
He went by Mr 997.
I met him in the Farmer's Arms.

265
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,843
Afterwards, I moved away.

266
00:14:31,843 --> 00:14:35,003
I didn't get his phone number,
and... I never saw him again.

267
00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:37,003
I'm sorry, son.

268
00:14:42,003 --> 00:14:45,003
Fucking hell... Fucking hell.

269
00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:48,003
Even DNA fucking hates me.

270
00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:49,683
I'm absolutely devastated, son.

271
00:14:52,003 --> 00:14:53,843
Brought this with me
so we could build it today.

272
00:14:53,843 --> 00:14:55,843
Never gonna get the chance now,
am I?

273
00:14:55,843 --> 00:14:58,203
You know, I bet
your dad's that bean head fella,

274
00:14:58,203 --> 00:14:59,363
the lucky bastard.

275
00:14:59,363 --> 00:15:03,003
What fella?
Mr 997? Well...

276
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,003
...the next weekend,
I went back to your mum's house

277
00:15:06,003 --> 00:15:07,003
with some flowers cos...

278
00:15:08,003 --> 00:15:09,003
...I was smitten, lads.

279
00:15:09,003 --> 00:15:12,003
Anyway, I rang the doorbell,
and there was no answer.

280
00:15:13,003 --> 00:15:15,523
So then I look through the window,
and that's when I see

281
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:18,003
this hook-nosed fella
with a massive bean head,

282
00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:19,003
shaggin' your mum on the couch.

283
00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:21,203
It was gutting!
You know, I saw him years later.

284
00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:24,003
I was in Liverpool,
and I saw his face on a poster.

285
00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:27,003
He was giving a talk
on one of his books.

286
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:30,003
I tell you what, lads,
you never forget a cum face.

287
00:15:30,003 --> 00:15:32,003
He's a writer? Do you remember
the name of the book?

288
00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:34,003
Nah, I was smashed off my tits.

289
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:36,043
But I think it was something weird

290
00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:39,003
about looking
through doors or windows

291
00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:40,683
because I remember thinking...

292
00:15:42,003 --> 00:15:44,363
"Has he written a book
all these years later

293
00:15:44,363 --> 00:15:47,003
"about me seeing his cum face?"

294
00:15:47,003 --> 00:15:51,003
♪ When I think about
What you've become

295
00:15:51,003 --> 00:15:54,043
♪ I feel sorry for your mum

296
00:15:54,043 --> 00:15:58,003
♪ You say we're all having fun

297
00:15:58,003 --> 00:16:01,003
♪ Do you know you're the only one?

298
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:03,003
CONTINUES ON SPEAKER:
♪ And when the lights go down

299
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:05,003
♪ On this fucking town

300
00:16:05,003 --> 00:16:08,523
♪ I know it's time to go

301
00:16:08,523 --> 00:16:12,003
♪ And when the radio plays
And the static stays

302
00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:15,003
♪ Yeah, I know it's time to go. ♪

303
00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:18,003
ECHOING: 'He was giving a talk
on one of his books.

304
00:16:18,003 --> 00:16:19,003
'I think it was something weird

305
00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:21,523
'about looking through doors
or a window.

306
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,203
'Has he written a book
all these years later,

307
00:16:23,203 --> 00:16:25,003
'about me seeing his cum face?'

308
00:16:25,003 --> 00:16:26,683
'Do you remember
the name of the book?'

309
00:16:26,683 --> 00:16:28,003
'No, I was smashed off my tits.

310
00:16:28,003 --> 00:16:30,003
'Hook-nosed fella
with a massive bean head,

311
00:16:30,003 --> 00:16:33,003
'shaggin' your mum on the couch...
bean head... bean head.

312
00:16:33,003 --> 00:16:35,003
'You never forget a cum face.'
He MOANS

313
00:16:35,003 --> 00:16:36,203
'The lucky bastard.'
HE MOANS

314
00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:43,003
Mr 997!
I found his address!

315
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:47,003
Oh, my God. Look at this place.

316
00:16:49,003 --> 00:16:50,843
I just wanna say
thanks for all your help.

317
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,003
And you know
you said about going down to Surrey

318
00:16:53,003 --> 00:16:54,363
to see your dad's grave?

319
00:16:55,523 --> 00:16:57,003
I'll come with ya.

320
00:16:57,003 --> 00:17:00,003
We'll make a day out of it,
pull some posh birds.

321
00:17:00,003 --> 00:17:02,003
CHRISTOPHER LAUGHS
Yeah, let's do it.

322
00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:06,003
PHONE DINGS

323
00:17:06,003 --> 00:17:07,043
Whoa, look at the size
of this place!

324
00:17:27,203 --> 00:17:28,523
You're me dad.

325
00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:34,043
Look at his awards.

326
00:17:36,003 --> 00:17:38,363
That was
my first-ever published book.

327
00:17:38,363 --> 00:17:41,003
It's a research study into NDEs.

328
00:17:41,003 --> 00:17:44,003
Near death experiences?
Common, aren't they?

329
00:17:44,003 --> 00:17:47,003
Like, 20% of people
who come close to death have them.

330
00:17:48,003 --> 00:17:51,003
That's exactly right, and people
don't realise how common they are.

331
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:54,003
And please,
help yourself to Caramel Hobnobs,

332
00:17:54,003 --> 00:17:56,003
my favourite biscuit to dunk.

333
00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:58,003
The... The caramel
acts as a strengthener

334
00:17:58,003 --> 00:18:00,003
so it doesn't break, ensuring a...

335
00:18:00,003 --> 00:18:03,003
BOTH: ..sufficiently saturated
biscuit.

336
00:18:06,683 --> 00:18:10,003
Oh, my God, it's extraordinary.
WHISPERING: What's he doing here?

337
00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:12,003
It's extraordinary.
Fuck off! Fuck off!

338
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,003
So... how's your mother?
Go away!

339
00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:17,003
Yeah, she's good, yeah.
Is she still debating?

340
00:18:17,003 --> 00:18:18,003
What do you mean, debating?

341
00:18:18,003 --> 00:18:21,003
She was captain of the opposing
debate team. That's how we met.

342
00:18:21,003 --> 00:18:23,523
Camilla's arguments to why
water-heavy agricultural systems

343
00:18:23,523 --> 00:18:26,003
should be illegal
really... blew me away.

344
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,003
BOTH: Camilla?
DARREN: No!

345
00:18:28,003 --> 00:18:30,003
We're talking about Jodie.
Don't you remember?

346
00:18:30,003 --> 00:18:32,683
Who are you?
You were shagging Jodie from behind.

347
00:18:32,683 --> 00:18:35,003
And I was in the window
when I saw you cum.

348
00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:38,003
What is it about us and windows,
eh? We're at it again.

349
00:18:38,003 --> 00:18:39,003
So you're not Camilla's boy?

350
00:18:39,003 --> 00:18:42,003
Hey, did you and Jodie ever do
that position

351
00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:43,003
where she put her legs like that...?

352
00:18:43,003 --> 00:18:45,043
Do one, will ya!
All right.

353
00:18:45,043 --> 00:18:47,003
You're sick. Get out!

354
00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:49,003
So you didn't sleep with Jodie
17 years ago?

355
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,003
You met her
at the Farmer's Arms pub?

356
00:18:51,003 --> 00:18:54,363
No, I don't know any Jodie.
Get out before I call the police.

357
00:18:54,363 --> 00:18:57,003
Come on. Get out. Move!
Just wait. Hang on.

358
00:18:57,003 --> 00:19:00,523
Your angry face looks
like your cum face, to be honest.

359
00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:04,003
The three of ya,
get off my property!

360
00:19:04,003 --> 00:19:07,003
Look, no, we didn't mean to...
Get out!

361
00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:12,003
What are you doin' here?
I've been following you, son.

362
00:19:13,003 --> 00:19:15,003
It's my duty to look out for you.

363
00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:20,523
Guardian... protector... father.
You're not me dad!

364
00:19:20,523 --> 00:19:22,683
HE EXHALES SHAKILY

365
00:19:24,003 --> 00:19:26,003
Sorry,
it's still really tough to hear.

366
00:19:26,003 --> 00:19:29,003
And that's obviously not the fella,
is it?

367
00:19:29,003 --> 00:19:31,043
Do you know, for a second,
I thought I'd found the reason

368
00:19:31,043 --> 00:19:34,003
why I've always felt
like the black sheep of me family.

369
00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:36,003
I finally felt a sense of...

370
00:19:37,003 --> 00:19:38,043
...belonging.

371
00:19:40,003 --> 00:19:41,003
But it wasn't real.

372
00:19:46,003 --> 00:19:48,003
AIMEE: Just don't embarrass me, OK?

373
00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:50,003
When do I ever embarrass you,
love, eh?

374
00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:52,203
♪ I'm singing in the rain... ♪

375
00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:56,003
Hello!
♪ Just singing in the rain. ♪

376
00:19:56,003 --> 00:19:57,003
HE CHUCKLES

377
00:19:57,003 --> 00:20:00,003
I'm only joking with you.

378
00:20:00,003 --> 00:20:02,003
Look, it'll be really nice
to meet him.

379
00:20:02,003 --> 00:20:07,003
Seems all right...
for a southern knobhead. Hey!

380
00:20:07,003 --> 00:20:11,003
♪ Why did I fall
Fall into your arms

381
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,003
♪ Will we ever be
Like the way we used to be

382
00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:18,003
♪ Or have we lost ourselves

383
00:20:18,003 --> 00:20:21,203
♪ Thought I knew you better... ♪
KNOCKS ON WINDOW

384
00:20:21,203 --> 00:20:23,003
You lying, cheating prick!

385
00:20:24,003 --> 00:20:26,003
Mia-Louise! Mia-Louise!

386
00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:30,003
Please, habibti, wait, wait.
Mia-Louise!

387
00:20:30,003 --> 00:20:32,003
Wait, habibti,
please, please, please.

388
00:20:32,003 --> 00:20:35,003
I'm not cheating on you, OK?
She's from another Libyan family,

389
00:20:35,003 --> 00:20:37,003
and my mum and uncle
wanted me to meet her.

390
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,003
But why? You're going out with me.

391
00:20:40,003 --> 00:20:43,003
They're scared I'm gonna lose
my culture and forget my heritage.

392
00:20:43,003 --> 00:20:46,003
That's why you didn't want
me coming round to your house,

393
00:20:46,003 --> 00:20:48,003
they don't want you to be with me?

394
00:20:49,003 --> 00:20:51,003
I don't know
what I'm supposed to do.

395
00:20:51,003 --> 00:20:52,003
Just... Just talk to them.

396
00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:54,003
Just tell them how you feel
about me.

397
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,003
I've tried. I have tried.

398
00:20:58,003 --> 00:20:59,003
Do you like this girl?

399
00:20:59,003 --> 00:21:01,003
How could I like her,
when I'm in love with you?

400
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,363
But they're my family.

401
00:21:05,203 --> 00:21:08,003
And they sacrificed so much
for me to be here.

402
00:21:08,003 --> 00:21:10,003
I'm... I'm sorry.

403
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,043
I... I can't.

404
00:21:19,043 --> 00:21:21,203
Are you sure this is the place?

405
00:21:21,203 --> 00:21:23,003
I know it was 17 years ago,

406
00:21:23,003 --> 00:21:26,003
but maybe someone at The Farmer's
Arms will recognise her.

407
00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:27,003
What are yous doing here?

408
00:21:27,003 --> 00:21:30,003
Christopher text us, telling us
to come to The Farmer's Arms,

409
00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:32,523
to ask around about Mr 997.

410
00:21:32,523 --> 00:21:36,003
But as soon as we got here,
some bloke accused me

411
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:38,843
of being Trevor
that broke up his marriage.

412
00:21:38,843 --> 00:21:40,043
You what?
Dead weird.

413
00:21:40,043 --> 00:21:44,003
This other fella,
he's made me buy meat.

414
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,003
Oh, lad, that stinks.
PHONE RINGS

415
00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:48,003
They're not approaching normal
people here. One sec. Hiya, Mum.

416
00:21:48,003 --> 00:21:50,203
He was in the cubicle next to me
and slid it under the door.

417
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:54,003
Look, you either find him
or you don't.

418
00:21:54,003 --> 00:21:55,003
But we'll always have each other,
OK?

419
00:21:56,203 --> 00:22:00,003
Now, I know you didn't like it when
Disneyland Darren serenaded you,

420
00:22:00,003 --> 00:22:03,363
so I'm not gonna do that. I just...

421
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:07,003
I want you to know
you're so special, Reece.

422
00:22:07,003 --> 00:22:09,003
Ignite that light.

423
00:22:09,003 --> 00:22:11,003
Let it shine.

424
00:22:12,003 --> 00:22:16,003
♪ Just own the night... ♪
HE CHUCKLES

425
00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:18,003
♪ Like the 4th of July... ♪
What are you doing?

426
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,203
You're off your head, you know.

427
00:22:19,203 --> 00:22:23,203
♪ Baby, you're a firework... ♪
Yes, kid!

428
00:22:23,203 --> 00:22:27,003
♪ Come on, let your colours burn. ♪
Mum, I've gotta go.

429
00:22:27,003 --> 00:22:30,003
I'll text you later.
All right, love you!

430
00:22:30,003 --> 00:22:32,003
You followed us here?

431
00:22:32,003 --> 00:22:35,203
You are my dad, I knew it.
But why did you lie?

432
00:22:35,203 --> 00:22:37,003
I've got no idea
what you're chatting, lad,

433
00:22:37,003 --> 00:22:40,003
but if yous keep staring,
the biggest one's getting chinned.

434
00:22:40,003 --> 00:22:43,003
You with me? Eh?
'Ey, Martin didn't have a tattoo.

435
00:22:44,843 --> 00:22:49,003
Ah, yous think I'm Martin.
No, no, I'm Alan, his twin.

436
00:22:49,003 --> 00:22:51,683
But they call me Mr 997
cos I got the highest score

437
00:22:51,683 --> 00:22:53,003
on the boxing machine in this place.

438
00:22:53,003 --> 00:22:56,003
20 years,
and the record still stands. Oosh!

439
00:22:56,003 --> 00:22:58,003
BEEPING FANFARE

440
00:22:58,003 --> 00:23:01,003
These new iBoxer machines
don't count, lad. Proper jarg.

441
00:23:01,003 --> 00:23:03,523
Scoring 1,000 on them
is like scoring 600 in my day.

442
00:23:03,523 --> 00:23:06,003
The game's gone, lad.
Do you remember a Jodie?

443
00:23:06,003 --> 00:23:09,003
You met her at this pub, like,
17 years ago?

444
00:23:09,003 --> 00:23:12,003
Jodie... Jodie...

445
00:23:12,003 --> 00:23:13,203
Bloody hell, yeah.

446
00:23:13,203 --> 00:23:17,003
Jodie! Fuck, that's a blast
from the past, that, lad.

447
00:23:17,003 --> 00:23:19,843
This is Reece, Jodie's son.
Right.

448
00:23:19,843 --> 00:23:24,003
We thought Martin was his dad,
but... you're his dad.

449
00:23:27,003 --> 00:23:29,003
Are you having me on, fella?

450
00:23:34,003 --> 00:23:35,363
You're my boy?

451
00:23:37,003 --> 00:23:40,003
Let's get a look at you, then, 'ey!

452
00:23:40,003 --> 00:23:42,203
'Ey!
Hey, you know what, I see it now.

453
00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:44,003
You've got them boxers arms like me.

454
00:23:44,003 --> 00:23:46,003
Let's test your jaw out,
see if you've got mine.

455
00:23:46,003 --> 00:23:48,003
Argh!
Come here.

456
00:23:48,003 --> 00:23:51,003
Bet you're glad that boring
soft shite weren't your dad, eh?

457
00:23:51,003 --> 00:23:54,043
'Ey, got a proper schnozz on you
there, lad. That's not from me.

458
00:23:54,043 --> 00:23:57,003
But if you've got a big dick,
that is.

459
00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:58,043
Know what I mean?

460
00:23:58,043 --> 00:24:02,003
No.
Hey, fellas, this is Reece, my son!

461
00:24:02,003 --> 00:24:05,003
G'wed.
CHEERING

462
00:24:05,003 --> 00:24:07,003
Go on, say something.

463
00:24:07,003 --> 00:24:08,203
He's too happy.
Doesn't know what to say.

464
00:24:08,203 --> 00:24:10,003
Soppy little blurt. Go on!

465
00:24:10,003 --> 00:24:14,003
REGULARS: # He's one of our own
He's one of our own... ♪

466
00:24:14,003 --> 00:24:15,003
Fuck.

467
00:24:15,003 --> 00:24:18,043
♪ Reece Duffy, he's one of our own

468
00:24:18,043 --> 00:24:22,003
♪ He's one of our own
He's one of our own

469
00:24:22,003 --> 00:24:26,003
♪ Reece Duffy
He's one of our own. ♪

470
00:24:26,003 --> 00:24:30,683
♪ Not an easy thing

471
00:24:30,683 --> 00:24:33,003
♪ To choose. ♪
CALL CONNECTING

472
00:24:33,003 --> 00:24:36,003
PHONE RINGING
♪ He's one of our own... ♪

473
00:24:36,003 --> 00:24:38,003
Sorry, something's come up.

474
00:24:38,003 --> 00:24:40,003
Are you at a party?

475
00:24:40,003 --> 00:24:42,363
♪ Christopher
He's one of our own! ♪

476
00:24:42,363 --> 00:24:45,003
Is that Mo? Are you with them lot?

477
00:24:45,003 --> 00:24:47,003
Yeah, but...
'Mia-Louise was right about you.'

478
00:24:47,003 --> 00:24:50,003
Why didn't you just tell me
you weren't interested, you snob?

479
00:24:52,003 --> 00:24:54,003
CHEERING

480
00:24:56,003 --> 00:24:59,003
APPLAUSE

481
00:25:02,003 --> 00:25:04,003
♪ Not an easy thing to do... ♪

482
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,363
You all right?

483
00:25:09,003 --> 00:25:10,523
Where's Christopher?

484
00:25:11,683 --> 00:25:12,843
Town.

485
00:25:12,843 --> 00:25:16,043
♪ Cos my heart stays with you... ♪

486
00:25:16,043 --> 00:25:19,003
Where's Ziad?
Dunno.

487
00:25:19,003 --> 00:25:22,043
♪ My heart stays with you. ♪

488
00:25:25,003 --> 00:25:26,363
Oh, my God, that's Mr Dunn!

489
00:25:30,003 --> 00:25:31,003
Holding the door open for her

490
00:25:31,003 --> 00:25:33,043
cos you think
she's weak and incompetent, Sir?

491
00:25:33,043 --> 00:25:35,523
Is she allowed her own money, Sir?

492
00:25:35,523 --> 00:25:39,683
"Let her out the cage for tonight,
did you, Sir?"

493
00:25:39,683 --> 00:25:42,203
I did, yeah,
but she'll be back in by nine.

494
00:25:42,203 --> 00:25:44,003
MIA-LOUISE CHUCKLES

495
00:25:44,003 --> 00:25:47,003
See, we're outside school, so
I don't have to take this shit here.

496
00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:49,003
SHOCKED EXHALE
Boom!

497
00:25:49,003 --> 00:25:51,003
THEY LAUGH

498
00:25:56,003 --> 00:25:58,043
Look, I should have listened to you,
looking out for me, girl,

499
00:25:58,043 --> 00:26:00,003
instead of
just getting pissed off...

500
00:26:00,003 --> 00:26:02,003
cos I was worried
what you were saying might be true.

501
00:26:02,003 --> 00:26:06,003
I would say the same. I should know
you've always got my back.

502
00:26:06,003 --> 00:26:08,003
I don't think I'll ever meet anyone

503
00:26:08,003 --> 00:26:10,003
who I'll have more of a laugh
with than you.

504
00:26:10,003 --> 00:26:12,003
Same here, girl.

505
00:26:12,003 --> 00:26:15,003
We are gonna smash
the rest of this year.

506
00:26:16,003 --> 00:26:17,003
Love you, girl.

507
00:26:17,003 --> 00:26:20,003
♪ Reece Duffy, you're the one

508
00:26:20,003 --> 00:26:22,003
♪ This is where you belong

509
00:26:22,003 --> 00:26:25,003
♪ Alan's kid is home again. ♪

510
00:26:25,003 --> 00:26:29,003
Good one again! My son! Yeah!

511
00:26:29,003 --> 00:26:32,003
REECE SIGHS
♪ Looking back on where we first met

512
00:26:32,003 --> 00:26:38,003
♪ I cannot escape
And I cannot forget

513
00:26:38,003 --> 00:26:43,003
♪ Baby, you're the one
You still turn me on

514
00:26:43,003 --> 00:26:46,203
♪ You can make me whole again... ♪

515
00:26:46,203 --> 00:26:48,363
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com

516
00:26:51,003 --> 00:26:53,003
♪ For now, I'll have to wait

517
00:26:53,003 --> 00:26:56,003
♪ But, baby, if you change your mind

518
00:26:56,003 --> 00:26:59,523
♪ You can make me whole again. ♪