[Silence]
Downloaded from YTS.MX
[Scribbling sound]
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
[Silence]
[Static sound]
[Music]
- The Lifeguarding League of America
presents,
Pool Safety.
- A summer day at the pool can be the most fun in the world,
right up until it's not.
That's why it's your job as a lifeguard
to be as up to date on current safety standards.
- That's right, Chris.
But there are so many rules and regulations.
How do you do it?
- I refresh my memory by
going over the certified lifeguard safety guide
once a week.
This should always be kept at hand
in your guard shack.
Pocket sized waterproof versions
are also available and heavily recommended.
- Knowing the rules
and regulations are so important
because incidents will occur.
When you do hear someone in distress,
act quickly and calmly.
[Water splash]
[Whistle]
[Water splash]
[Man coughs]
- Before doing any hands on assistance.
Be sure that help is truly needed.
Sir! Sir!
Are you in need of assistance?
[Music]
No response means
assistance is needed. [Ding]
- Uh-oh! Two hands crossed over the throat
is the universal sign for choking.
No need to hesitate.
Ugh!
[Spits]
- Thanks, Mr..
[Ding]
- The best way to save someone's life is to prevent them
from getting in trouble in the first place.
- That's right, Jackie.
The most important thing a lifeguard can do is prevent.
- You must always remember the acronym L.I.F.E. First,
you must always listen.
Listen for calls from help, from the pool,
and even for calls for help from the pool deck.
[Music]
- Inform.
Make sure all patrons know the rules of the pool.
If any of your younger pool goers refuse to follow the rules,
inform their parents or guardian.
And remember,
sometimes even adults need to be informed.
- F is for Focus.
A hot summer's day
can bring a lot of excitement
to your patrons with music, games
and other summer fun activities.
You must always be focused
on the swimmers.
They are your number one priority.
- And finally Everyone.
All patrons should be accounted for.
When everyone has a safe and fun time at your pool,
you know you've done your job.
- There are so many rules and regulations.
Do I have to know them all?
- Yes you do.
Failing to enforce
even one rule can cause you
to lose your job or even someone's life.
- Well, I'd say we've done a great job.
Wouldn't you agree, Chris?
- I sure would, but that doesn't mean
we can't practice after hours.
- Well, what do you want to work on?
- Mouth to mouth.
[Ding]
- That's enough of these for today.
- I don’t know a lot of people.
Bobby, Bill,
uh, Jaden, Jayda[?]
- Who are all these guys?
I want you back here by eleven thirty, Jeff
- Do I seriously still need a curfew?
Most of them won't even be there till eleven thirty.
- You wanna stay out all night?
Go find your own place to live.
- Hey, Jeff, you don't need the car, right?
- Yeah, no, I'm getting picked up.
Wait! [Chuckles]
Where do you need to go?
- I have my opening guard meeting today.
- Oh, yes. You mentioned that was today.
Have fun.
- Um, does His Highness over here need a curfew?
- I don't need to tell him
because he has never come home late.
You could learn a thing or two
from your younger brother.
- Yeah, I could learn about being a loser.
- Hey!
- [Inaudible] it's true.
[Sighs]
- [Whispering] You've always been my favorite.
[Chair creaks]
- Have fun. Don't drown.
- Hey!
[Birds chirping]
[Car door opens]
[Car door closes]
[Birds chirping]
[Engine starts]
[Loud music plays]
- Dang it, Jeff!
Turn the radio down
before turning the car off.
It’s not hard.
[Music plays]
- So you're excited to start working [Inaudible]?
- Yeah. I’m Just excited to be around some
like minded people for a change.
[Music plays]
- Yeah, everyone at school has just become a little...
Yeah, I was gonna say risky
But, yeah, that explain it too.
[Music plays]
I’ll do my best to come visit when I can
but I really want to work as much as possible.
Harvard’s not gonna pay for itself
[Music plays
I mean, yeah,
if I get perfect grades all semester,
it might literally pay for itself
but I’m not gonna take that chance
[Music playing]
[Car honks]
I’m going to speed limit!
[Music playing]
[Music stops]
[Indistinct background conversation]
[Door opens] [Woman chuckles]
- So, anyway, you didn't join the sorority?
- How many times do I have to tell you,
sororities aren’t my thing. Okay?
You have to like, turn in your grades
and you can't get in trouble with the school and stuff
I went to college to get away from that sort of parental oversight
- Yeah, but it's still fun.
I like it
- Fine! I went to one rush event, but only
because my friend begged me to go, okay.
[Chuckles]
-We ended up being kicked out like half way through.
- OMG! Hi!
- Missed you too, Tory
A pleasure, Emma
Are you girls ready for another exciting summer of lifeguarding?
- Yes. I'm so excited to watch
the annoying children of upper class parents for minimum wage.
- Mm-hmm
Did you know we have the lowest minimum wage
of any developed nation?
- Well, if you want to get paid
more then live in Canada, be my guest.
- Oh, good. Kyle's back this year.
I thought you would have joined the army
and invaded a small country by now.
[Chuckles]
- So if you wanna join the Crazy Brenda's,
make sure that you smash that follow button
and drop it low on the like button.
[Laughs]
Anyways, I have to go to the stupid meeting now.
I love you all. [Blows kisses] Bye.
Hey, guys.
- Look at all these beautiful people.
- Norb, I, uh, didn't think you'd be back this year.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
Everybody's on the edge of their seat
waiting to see if I come back for the summer.
Well, rest assured, I will be here full time all summer long.
- You didn't even tell me, asshole.
- What? Maybe I like a little drama in my life.
Speaking of drama.
First guard party this Friday.
You guys in?
- I'm ready to party right now.
- Yeah, I got some beers in my car.
[Gasps]
- Do you think the weed I stashed in my locker is still here?
- I don't know, but I have a pen in my bag if you want a hit
- Hey. [Snaps] New guy.
Wanna party this Friday?
Oh, I'm Norb, by the way.
- Um, what?
- Holy fish paste. It's a guy. [Chuckles]
I thought you were some life like dummy
that we were gonna be practicing on [Laughs]
- Winston!
- I'm Tory.
What's your name?
- I'm Mike.
- Hi, Mike
- Sorry I didn't introduce myself yet. I’m Emma
- So, uh, what brings you to this fine aquatic establishment?
- Research shows that having a summer job in high school
increases your chance of college admittance by 45%.
And then having some sort of certification
like CPR, increases, uh, an additional 15%.
[Coughs]
- DORK!
- Stop it!
- Well, you're in the right place.
This is the best summer job there is.
Probably the best job. Period.
- Norb, how the hell are we?
- Meg-Attack
I'm happy to see you this year.
- Hi, happy to see you this year,
I'm Maggie.
- This girl doesn't miss a beat.
We're doing the guard party on Friday.
You in?
- Yes.
- We're gonna get these new guards blitzed.
- Am I allowed at this guard party?
I'm not 21.
[Other guards laughing]
- Oh! He's being serious.
Oh! I'm going to enjoy
corrupting this boy.
- Everyone here. Great.
Let's get started.
Welcome to all the 2023 Summer lifeguards.
[Claps]
Let's not clap every time I stop talking.
Okay, Norb? I can’t be here all day.
- I'm sorry, boss. I'm just so excited.
Um, is everyone here? Where’s Paul?
- He got a big job.
- Oh, really?
Good for him.
- Yeah, I suppose.
- Okay, we have a few new summer lifeguards,
so why don't you stand up and introduce yourself?
Uh, Mr. McHenry Sowolski[?]?
That can't be right.
- Yeah. That's me.
- What's your first name?
McHenry or Sowolski[?]?
- McHenry.
- Your first name is McHenry?
- Yeah, like, y-you know that old phrase, like,
you can't trust somebody with two first names?
Well, my parents want me to be, like,
extra trustworthy, so they give me two last names.
- Your parents didn't trust you as a baby?
[Snaps]
- Babies are wild, man.
- Next, we have, uh, Brenda Nichols. Uh, Brenda.
- Oh, my gosh!
I am literally
about to speak at this meeting right now.
Comment down below if public speaking is the worst!
Argh!
My apologies, everyone.
I am under a contract.
Um, hi! My name is Brenda.
I am a current student at Saint Thomas.
Uh, and I am the president of the Math club
and vice president of the speech and debate team.
I'm very excited to be working here.
- Okay.
- Oh, uh, wait.
[Brenda laughs]
And if you want to be part of the Crazy Brenda’s
make sure to follow me on all social media.
- Okay.
Uh, next up.
Mike, uh. De-, uh,
Domino.
Mike.
- Hello, I'm Mike Domino.
I'm really excited to join such a prestigious club
and a group of wonderful lifeguards.
- Is he talking about us?
[Man laughs]
- Okay, for all you returning guards,
you all know the drill.
Your job is to keep the pool area clean,
keep the chlorine levels good.
And above all else,
- Have fun!
- Uh, no.
Keep the patrons alive.
- Oh.
- Alright. J-just do your jobs.
I don't want to get a call from Mr. Porter again
because one of you pushed his kid into the pool.
[Laughs]
I expect you all to act like adults.
Norb!
You most of all, I'm entrusting you to keep everyone in line.
On top of all this,
we'll still have our weekly skills meeting
on Tuesday mornings at 7 A.M.
[Lifeguards boo]
- Oh, you want me to make it Saturday mornings?
That's what I thought.
- Hi, Mike.
Got any fun plans tonight?
- Yeah.
I'm at the point of no return in this book.
- Oh, cool.
Um, not planning on going anywhere then?
- No. Why?
- Just wondering.
Hey, how about we order a pizza?
Whatever toppings you want
and find a fun movie to watch.
- Mom, I already had pizza this week.
- I won't tell anyone.
- Mom, I'm going out.
- Do I even want to know where or what?
- Um. probably not, no.
- Hey, any chance you want to take your little brother with you?
- What? No, no, no. [Inaudible]
he's just gonna complain the whole time.
- Come on, just this once.
I worry about him.
- He's a lost cause.
- He just needs a little push.
- I don't know what to tell you.
Look at him.
- I wish he was a little more like you.
- Really?
You know what?
Just hold on to that thought.
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
[Distant footsteps]
[Music]
[Birds chirping]
[Footsteps approaching]
- I love the smell of chlorine in the morning.
[Birds chirping]
- 265 days, 7 hours, and 15 minutes.
We are back, baby.
[Birds chirping]
[Whistle]
[Music]
- I still don't like it.
- Man, we used to listen to this song
every morning back when I started here.
- I don't know, Norb.
I think you gotta keep this summer music to the professionals.
- Mm-hmm.
- Brian Wilson and Jimmy Buffet.
Common,
I've spent the past 3 months curating this lifeguard playlist.
Each song has to go through so many listens
and just rigorous testing.
It's quite a process.
Hey, new guy!
- Mike, how the hell are we?
- You're late.
- Oh, my gosh, I am?
I'm so sorry.
I could have sworn...
It will not happen again, I promise.
- Dude, you're not late.
Pretty early, actually.
Don't, don't mind them.
They may give you some new guy hazing.
And I might do it too,
but you are Mike, right?
- Yeah, I usually go by Mike,
but Michael works if we need to be more professional here.
[Music plays]
- Dude, you can leave that professional personality at the door.
There's no place for it here.
- Yeah. I can be unprofessional at my profession, that's cool.
- There you go.
Alright you guys, it is now officially 10 A.M, o'clock
on this fine Memorial Day weekend,
which means that we are officially
Open!
[Music continues]
You know, I thought it'd be more busy today.
Oh well, let's try again tomorrow.
Cornhole?
- Yup!
[Music]
- So...
Mike?
What's your biggest regret?
- What?
- Hey, it's too early in the morning
for these deep questions, alright?
- I'm just asking a question to get to know the guy!
- I guess...
not getting perfect attendance in grade school?
[Chuckles]
- Seriously?
- Yeah, I only missed one day
because my family had to go to some great aunt or something's funeral.
I don't even know who it was.
- You gotta get some bigger regrets, my man.
- Why would I want bigger regrets?
I'm pretty angry about that one.
- Man, when I was your age,
we had this huge beehive in my backyard.
My parent's always told me,
you ignore the bees,
and they'll ignore you.
Well, I didn't listen.
I took a bat to that thing
like it was a freaking piñata.
Cut to 45 seconds later,
I'm running down the street
getting stung on every inch of my body.
It's the last time I ever mess with bees.
You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, but if you would have just
listened to your parents in the first place,
you wouldn't have had to go to the hospital at all.
- Also, a valid takeaway from that story.
- Didn't you kill that kid
that one time or something?
- I did not kill that kid, shut up.
- Hey, Mike, I got a regret for you.
- What's that?
- Making Norb your partner.
[Shoot] - Who-ho!
- Oh, just get used to seeing this Norb.
You're gonna see it all summer.
- Yeah, yeah.
[Splash]
- We're supposed to have someone up in the chair
if someone's swimming, correct?
- It's just one kid.
Just listen for the splash as it stops.
- No, no, no.
Mike is right again.
We should have somebody up there.
Uh, any takers?
- First chair of the year?
That's the newbie's job.
- Hey, he's not wrong.
What about you, McHenry?
- Oh, I'm not working today.
- Oh, yeah.
Uh, okay.
You're up, Mike.
[Music continues]
- What kind of lifeguards are these?
Are they even CPR certified?
Pull yourself together, Mike.
This is your new safe space.
All that matters up here are the rules.
That is our bread and butter.
Just watch this little kid.
She's with her mom.
No problem.
[Splash] Woah! he just jumped in there.
That looked dangerous.
You're fine.
Deep breaths.
In and out.
She's drinking in the pool,
but that's fine, right?
I mean, I think it's fine.
Oh, my God.
I don't even know the rules.
I'm gonna get fired.
I'm gonna die.
- Hey, Mike. [Screams]
- S-sorry, you startled me.
- W-what's up?
- It's, uh, time to switch.
- It's been 30 minutes already?
- Uh, yeah.
- Jeez! That flew by.
- Yeah, I daydream all the time.
It's nice in these slow mornings.
I've fallen asleep a few times.
Try not to do that.
[Child screams]
[Water splash]
- Hey.
- How was the first day?
- Good, good.
No one drowned,
so I guess you could say it was a success.
- I would agree.
- Hey, is Tim here today?
- Oh, he's too busy running the rest of the club
to ever come boss us around. [Chuckles]
Why?
- I need to give him a printed version
of my certification.
- Oh, my God, don't worry about that.
Listen, if anyone needs to come in here
and verify that we're actual lifeguards,
that means we're in seriously deep shit already.
[Music]
- Good luck on the rest of today.
See you all tomorrow.
- See you later, alligator.
- Hey, don't forget about our lifeguard meeting on Tuesday.
- Won't miss it for the world.
- Uh, it's not that important.
What you absolutely can't miss
is my epic party tonight.
- Cool, yeah.
Sounds like fun.
[Music]
- Hey, Spartacus.
Persians await.
[Music]
[Cling]
[Birds chirping]
- What are you doing?
- I have to film this TikTok dance.
If I don't get it posted soon, I'm screwed.
- I hate that.
- Tell me about it.
[Music]
- Hey, Mike, right?
- Yeah.
- Emma.
- Right.
Sorry.
- Uh, couple of time.
You just finished first day?
- Yeah, it went...
well...
I think.
- Well, I'm hopefully of like a shift or something together soon
like to get to know each other more.
Maybe through the pool.
- That'd be great!
I look forward to it.
[Music]
[Birds chirping]
[Music]
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
[Inaudible] [Ping pong ball sound]
[Laughter]
- Oh, what the [Inaudible] [Laughter]
[Laughter]
[Indistinct conversation]
- Hey, Mads.
[Laughs]
[Indistinct conversation]
- Come on. come on, come on.
Ah!
- You shot! You shot!
Uh, here we go.
- Okay [Laughs]
[Engine starts]
[Laughter]
[Birds chirping]
[Music]
- Guys, you're not supposed to be on the lane lines.
Rules are rules,
keep doing it, I'm telling your mom.
- Threatening with parental involvement.
Good move.
You're learning pretty fast.
- I'm just glad he didn't call my bluff.
I don't know his mom.
- So, uh,
what are you doing Saturday?
- There's a new nature documentary coming out.
I'd probably watch that.
What's up?
- Well, I'm having another, like, party,
get together thing on Saturday, and,
you know, totally no pressure.
You can invite whoever you want, but
we really missed you last time.
You should come, man.
- Yeah, sorry.
I got held up with, uh, family thing.
- Yeah, totally.
And, like, I wouldn't want to rip you away
from any of your sick plans.
Oh, uh, you're good, by the way.
But it will be a good time.
We'll get some beers in us
and some dancing out of us.
- I can't drink.
I'm not 21.
- Shh!
- Half the lifeguards I worked with weren’t 21.
It never stopped them.
But if you do want to stop by,
partaking a few libations,
would be plenty to go around.
And if not, it's just more for me.
[Chuckles]
Either way, you should totally come.
We want to there.
- Cool.
Awesome. Thank you.
[Water splashes]
[Whistle blows]
[Laughter]
[Water splash] [Whispering]
[Birds chirping]
- Okay. Now, after thirty compressions,
give him two breaths.
- I thought it was sixty.
- It's thirty.
- I thought it was thirty and one breath.
- It's still two breaths.
- Didn't they change it, though?
- They did, it's sixty.
- It's still thirty.
- Why would they change it?
Are hearts different now?
- It's thirty and two breaths.
I’m sure of it.
- I would trust the nerd.
- Enough of this.
It's thirty and two breaths.
McSorley[?], continue.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
- Well... - Okay. - Let's see.
Did anything change?
- Well, it’s a dummy so,
there’s still no heartbeat.
- God damn it!
We lost him!
- Ugh!
- Why must you take him so young? Why?
- There's no need for name calling
after what he's been through, McHenry.
- Well, he went swimming without any arms or legs
so I would say he is a dummy.
- Yeah. Who let him in the pool?
- There should be a strike!
[Laughs]
- Very humorous.
I'm actually cackling over here.
And you guys gotta take this seriously.
You never know when you gonna need it.
Alright?
- Look, in all the years I've been here,
the only incident we had was little Billy Fisher
who got so sunburned, he had to stay home for two months.
- Yeah, Bill was in my class that year.
Missed the whole baseball season.
- Jesus.
I have been here long.
- Okay, let's switch it up.
Winston, why don't you get down here?
[Smacks]
Scenario.
You're walking around the pool
and you see a man lying face up by a table.
- Uh-huh
- There's a half eaten hotdog next to him.
What do you think happened?
- Diabetes?
Uh, I don't know.
A heart attack?
- He still has a heartbeat,
but he's not breathing.
He was probably...
Choking?
Right?
Okay, so what do you wanna do?
You wanna tilt his head back
and with two finger, stick it down, mouth
and dislodge the hot dog down there.
- Oh, I'm not doing that.
- But you have to. It's your job.
- That is food related.
Make one of the food people do it.
- You're a life guard.
It's clearly your jurisdiction.
- I'm not sticking my fingers down
some old man’s throat to summon some half eaten hot dog.
Instead, I will use his lifeless corpse
as a lesson on chewing and patience.
- Okay, fine.
If you want to stop someone
from being in this situation in the first place,
you need to know the Heimlich maneuver.
Everyone, partner up!
- Partners?
- Uh, yeah.
[Birds chirping]
- Okay, wait.
Do you want?
- Oh.
- Ok. Now,
one of you get behind the other person.
[Birds chirping]
Now, what you want to do
is the person in the back
wrap your arms around the person in the front,
right under their sternum.
- Okay. - Yeah. Way ahead of you.
- Oh, yeah. Right here. Okay.
- All right. - Yeah, cool. Yep. - Yeah.
- It's okay, Mike.
Just think of it like a prom picture.
- I kind of did, uh, go as a group thing.
- I'm not doing this.
- Come on.
- No, look. I'm better than this.
And you're better than this.
We don't need to do this.
- There is nothing wrong with doing
a classic every once in a while.
- No!
- Just let me be Leo.
- I may never get this chance again.
Now put your arms out.
- Now, from here
You take one fist
and you put it into the other hand.
- But I know for a fact you do this
with David last year.
- And you lift up and in. [Mumbles]
Actually, let's not do that.
[Chuckles]
- I-I-I just think this is a little too weird for me.
- Come on. I thought we were close friends.
- We just shouldn't be doing this as coworkers.
- Mhm.
Good point.
Sir, permission to not do this training at all
and just do it on our time
and trust that.
- Yeah.
This is a dumb idea.
Scrap it.
Let's get ready to open.
[Chill summer music playing]
- Oh. Hi, Norb.
- Mrs. Parker.
How are you doing this bright and breezy day?
- I'm great.
I just wanted to check in
and make sure you and your parents
are going to be attending Lizzie's graduation party.
- She graduating already?
Man, time really does fly.
- I know.
Can you believe I have a college student?
[Chuckles]
No, I really can't.
You look like a college student yourself.
- Oh, Norb. Stop it!
[Chuckles]
[Chill summer music playing]
- I like Mrs. Parker’s hat.
- She was wearing a hat?
- All righty, folks.
Bread is fresh out of the oven.
It's payday.
Let’s See. We got...
Mikey.
We got Tory Glory.
And Kyle Style
- Oh, man.
I really thought this would be bigger.
- I worked here every day last week.
My rent takes half of this right away.
This is B. S.
- What? Do you think you deserve more
for sitting in a chair all day?
- As a matter of fact, I do.
I think we all should.
I reckon you should be paid more, Kyle.
The system is designed to keep the poor, poor
and the rich, rich.
- Is that what you say
when you're off getting your fancy coffees
and your nice bottles of wine?
- You know, shut your face.
We need to...
I don't know...
Start a union. Go on strike!
- Yeah, we, we can’t do that.
- And why not?
- Because of this.
Uh, we tried to go on strike
my first year here, and they just laid us off.
Basically, we came back
three weeks later with no changes.
- Replaced by a sign.
That hurts the ego.
Shut up.
[Tapping]
[Taps pen]
[Music]
[Footsteps approaching]
- Oh, Mike.
Perfect timing.
Jaws is on TV.
Do you wanna come watch with me?
That little Kitner boy just got eaten.
- Oh, fun.
- Quint is about to show up
and try to get the head,
the tail, the whole damn thing.
- I was actually thinking about going out tonight.
If that's alright?
- Oh, really?
- With who?
You don't have friends Mike.
- Jeffrey!
Of course you can, honey.
Just don't be back too late.
- Thank you.
I won't
But if I ended up staying the night?
- Staying the night?
- Staying the night!
- Yeah.
- See you in the morning.
- Thank you.
Good luck catching that fish.
[Television background music]
- Do you wanna go out too?
- Love you. Bye.
- Perfect.
[Rock music plays]
- What are you? A medium rare guy?
Medium rare.
Cheese?
Who am I kidding? We’re all getting cheese.
[Rock music plays]
- Hey, man.
- Hey, Jimmy.
I'm so glad you could make it, man.
- How have you been?
- It's like once you've tasted true Italian wine,
you can't go back to this stuff. I would almost recommend
never trying good wine unless you can have it every time.
- If you’re not gonna drink it...
- Oh, I'm still going to drink it.
I'm just saying. [Chuckles]
[Door opens]
- Charlie! [Door closes]
- Hey, man.
Hey. Good to see you again.
- Look at the mane! Oh, my God.
- I know. I'm growing it out.
- We're just, we're brothers
[Laughs]
And you. Hello.-Hi.
- Your name is...
- Rebecca.
- Rebecca. [Inaudible]
- Hi, how are you? - How you doing?
I’m doing great.
- Yeah me too.
- It's c-, fantastic.
- What's the record again?
- Miguel Rodriguez.
Set in the summer of 06’, 1.41 seconds.
- I'm breaking it right now. Ready?
- Okay. Ready. Set. Go!
[Music plays]
[Gasps]
[Music plays]
- Time.
[Belching]
- I mean, if I was generou-, tha-,
it's 10.24.
[Laughs]
- Get me another one.
- I'm not gonna get you an-,
this is number 5.
You need a burger.
- I bought it, actually.
[Chuckles]
- Dude, you bought a house?
That's insane.
- I don't wanna count on my chickens,
but it looks like my girlfriend
and my job are pretty safe bets for lifelong things.
The market was right on all fronts, so.
Are you still planning on staying here?
- Yeah. I mean,
my bills, most of my food's paid for, so...
Why would I leave?
- Can't argue with that, I guess.
But you might be able to afford your own rent and food
if you'd got a better job.
[Chuckles]
- Yeah, but, while my job lacks in pay,
definitely makes up for nights like tonight.
- Right.
- New guy!
What's up?
- Hey, Kyle.
Have you seen Norb?
I wanted to say hi and
thank him for inviting me.
- Frick’ that!
Let's chug these beers!
- Oh.
- We're drinking until our piss is clear tonight, Mikey Boy.
- Sounds dangerous, but okay.
- U. S. A.
[Music plays]
[Can drops]
WHOOOOO!
[Drunken coughing]
- Oh, you already got one.
Nice.
- Thank you, buddy.
- Yeah.
No problem, Kyle. [Chuckles]
- Thanks for having me.
- Yeah.
- Cool place you have.
- Yeah, it's my parents house.
Once they croack it's all mine, though.
No, I'm just kidding.
I hope we all live forever.
Let's party.
[Background noise]
[Indistinct conversation]
- I agree that he has an interesting verbal style.
I just think it's lacking in substance.
- Oh my god! Are you Brenda?
I'm, like, the craziest of all Crazy Brenda’s!
- My gosh! Hello girl!
Thank you for your love and support,
my love is your love. [Screaming]
Like I was saying
I don't think that Cummins[?] is saying
what he thinks he's saying.
[Water pouring]
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
- Hey, Mike.
Do you know where the graham crackers are?
We're making s'mores.
- Oh, um, I don't,
but I'd guess the pantry.
- I was thinking the same thing.
[Pantry door opens]
- What are you doing?
Recycling?
- Um,
yeah, kinda.
I've just been filling the same can with water
and drinking from it,
so people think I'm drinking beer
when I'm not.
[Laughs]
- That's no way to have fun.
- I know,
but I'm not supposed to be drinking.
It is against the rules.
- Whose rules?
- The government's.
[Laughs]
[Pantry door closes] I thought I'd be okay with it tonight, but
it's just not me.
[Footsteps]
- What is it with you and these rules?
- Just logically makes sense.
If I break a rule I could get hurt or in trouble.
So why do it? [Cabinet door opens]
- My parents would love you.
- Oh, yeah?
[Cabinet door closes]
- God, they piss me off.
My mom is always like,
should you really be wearing that?
Should you really be eating that?
I can’t trim a fingernail in that house
without them questioning it.
- They just want what’s best for you.
- Great! Now you sound like my dad.
We should, five [Inaudible] support my brothers
when we have the whole act.
- Listen,
rules keep people safe.
Following the rules will get me into a good college,
good job, good life.
- Is that all you want?
A good life.
- What's wrong with that?
- Maybe focusing so hard on having a good life
is keeping you from living a great one.
- And keeping me from having a terrible one.
It’s a safe bet.
- It's still a bet, though.
I mean, there's no chance
that the world will even exist tomorrow.
So live in the moment.
Also, you filling up that beer can with water
is basically lying.
And us lifeguards, we have a strict rule against lying.
So now what?
- Now I'm very conflicted.
[Crunching sound]
- And if you break the lying rule,
[Pouring]
you have to take a shot.
- You do?
- Yup.
- Is it good?
- Yeah, totally.
This one mostly taste like strawberries.
[Clears throat]
- Emma, where are the crackers I requested?
We have perfectly toasted marshmallows
with nothing to lay them upon!
- I'll be out in a second!
- Oh.
[Indistinct chatter]
Prom's up.
[Coughs]
- You broke the lying rule.
You broke the lying rule.
- Yo, Jimmy, you heading out?
- Yeah, man. I got shit to do tomorrow.
- BOOOO! LAME-O!!
- Listen Norb,
as a prosecuting attorney for the city,
I'm gonna look past the fact that you're buying
and serving alcohol to a bunch of minors.
But as your friend of 27 years,
I don't want to look past the fact that you're buying
and serving alcohol to a bunch of minors.
- I'm just having some drinks
with my coworkers after work.
It’s the same as you.
- Some of your coworkers don't even have their GED!
I-I mean look.
[Liquid splashing]
[Laughs]
[Can drops]
[Laughs]
- You all have some growing up to do.
See you, Norb.
[Music playing over bonfire]
- I've talked to the higher ups,
and you new guards have passed the trial period.
- Oh, I didn't even know we we're in a trial period.
- We would like to officially welcome you
to the lifeguard Brotherhood.
[Clears throat]
- Brotherhood?
- Or sisterhood or whatever.
The Order of the Lifeguard.
- Oh!
Thank you! I’ve really been enjoying my...
- Which means we need to brand you.
- Winston!
- We've all done it, Mike.
If you want to be a real Red Cross certified lifeguard,
then you need a real Red Cross,
on the ass!
- He's totally kidding.
We do not do that!
- Dang it, Emma!
He was really going for it.
- You are vile.
- Screw it.
- I'll do it.
- Oh, yeah.
- Absolutely
- McHenry. No.
- Let's go.
- I love this kid.
[Laughs]
- Alright, if anyone asks,
I was not around when this happened.
[Unzipping pants]
- This is illegal in so many ways.
- You're not gonna sue me or anything, right?
- Just freaking do it.
[Sizzling sound]
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
[Laughter]
Oh my gosh!
- You're not in the beer cooler.
- Get your ass back here!
I gotta do the other line.
- Screw you!
- I can't believe that just happened.
- This is absolutely insane.
Like, for part two.
- We're gonna need some of ass-burgers
for those ass-beers.
[Laughs]
- Hey, my cousin has Asperger's
- You know...
Didn't think about that one when I said it.
I apologize.
- Norb, did you queue this up?
- I don't know. I mean...
It's a pretty great song.
I wouldn't be surprised if any one of us put it on.
- It is so annoying.
- Look, once you start liking it,
you will never get tired of it.
- Stop trying to exposure therapy us to this song.
- As a believer in science and partying, I will not.
But I will get the next round of beers.
- Anybody want one?
Hey, Mike, what about you?
Sure.
[Slaps]
[Music plays]
- Hey, uh, I'm gonna need a couple beers out there.
Thank you.
I'm gonna go get some cups for these.
[Music plays]
[Laughter]
[Music]
[Inaudible]
[Music]
[Indistinct chatter] [Music]
[Music]
- Is this one a seltzer?
[Music]
It's bubbly.
This tastes like root beer.
It has alcohol in it?
I don't believe you.
An IPA, you say?
[Music]
Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
[Music] [Indistinct chatter]
[Laughs]
[Music] [Indistinct chatter]
[Music]
- Hey.
Hope I didn't peer pressure you too much earlier.
I just like seeing people have a good time.
- I'm glad you did.
I actually had a lot of fun tonight.
Like, more fun than I've had in a while.
- Good. I’m glad.
I admit. I'm a bad influence.
It’s why I can never work with kids. [Chuckles]
- Is that something you'd want to do?
- Yeah. For sure.
But, I mean, I can't
Think of it this way,
how am I supposed to tell a kid to not do bad things
when I myself have, and will continue to do,
bad things, you know?
- I mean, you were pretty convincing to me tonight.
I listened to you.
So maybe you should do the same thing with kids but you know
like peer pressure them into eating vegetables or whatnot.
[Laughs]
- Yeah. I could, like, bully a kid
into eating healthy and learning math. [Chuckles]
[Screeching sound]
Do you ever think there's anyone else out there?
- With how much is out there,
seems like there has to be.
But that's really easy to feel alone.
- I like to think so.
Like, maybe there's some parallel version of myself out there.
And every time I'm having a really bad day,
maybe they’re having a really good one.
Which sounds
really stupid now that I say it.
Sorry.
- It’s not stupid.
I totally get that.
My poor parallel self must be having a terrible night,
because I'm having such a stellar one here.
[Laughs]
- Cheers.
To our parallel selves,
that they have many more bad days to come.
- Is that selfish of us to wish?
- We’re wishing it upon ourselves so,
technically, no.
- I can get behind that logic
[Laughs]
- To us and us.
Cheers!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco?- Polo!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco? - Polo! [Lawn mower running]
- Marco Polo was a slave trader.
- If that gets those kids to shut up.
I'll go tell 'em.
- Good morning, Krusty crew!
Hey, don't worry folks.
I got your coffee.
- Jesus! Thank you.
- Kyle with the Tyra Banks.
- What?
- Tall black and hot.
- Oh! Yeah.
- And we got iced latte for the nice 'laytte'.
- You are a saint, Norb
What do we owe you, by the way?
- About 6 each.
- Mhm.
- Getting more expensive by the day.
- Thanks, Biden.
- And we got “Mikey” with the “lattie”.
- Oh, uh,
I’m actually not supposed to have coffee till I’m done growing.
- Add it to the list of new beverages you've tried this week.
- Good point.
Wow. This is amazing.
- You need all that cream and sugar
like a bunch of babies.
A real man doesn't need any of that.
- Oh! Yeah!
I gotta burn my tongue every morning
to prove that I'm a man.
Ugh!
- That would be pretty manly. [Chuckles]
- Thanks for the coffee
and thank you again for having me last night.
- Mm-hmm, thank you.
- You're welcome,
Michael.
[Music plays]
[Music]
- You think I should start drinking protein shakes?
- Yuck, man!
My, uh, football coach
used to try to make us drink those to get bigger.
It's terrible.
- I don’t like being so scrawny.
I think being a bit bigger would be better for
attracting potential
mates, whatever?
- Mickey’s trying to knock some boots!
[Laughter]
- Actually, I don't know.
- Look, girls don't really care
about muscles and all that.
They really don't focus on guys bodies at all.
- Really?
- Yeah, like girls care about, like,
more different kinds of things.
Like, you know, planning a Saturday
or having a bed with a head board.
You know, dumb, dumb shit like that.
- It's easy for you to say.
You already have a great body.
- Yeah, but girls like...
Well, [Snaps]
thanks, by the way.
But, uh, girls just don't care about bodies. [Inaudible]
It's really all I'm saying.
- If anything, you should just start
drinking normal milkshakes and get chubby.
Chicks dig big, chubby guys to cuddle up with at night.
- No way! [Chuckles]
- You think I drink beers every day for the fun of it?
Got to keep this belly in tip top shape.
- I'm so proud of you
for being so strict with your diet.
- No less than four Budweiser's a day. [Chuckles]
It's hard, but totally worth it.
[Laughs]
- Well, you know, instead of just, like, sitting around
debating what women want, why don't we just ask one?
- They exist.
- Hey, Emma!
- Wait, no.
- Can you come over here?
- Wait! No. - Oh, yeah. Shit!
- What? - Look at us.
- Well, dude I, I know she's intimidating,
but she's actually really nice.
- I can’t get tips on getting girls from the girl...
- Uh!
- You dog!
[Barking noises]
- What's up, guys!
- Hello. - Hey, Emma.
Um, I was actually just wondering
if you could go clean up some trash around the pool.
People have been leaving stuff behind.
- I was literally just doing that.
- Well. Great job.
Uh, very proactive.
And, that's why we keep you around.
- What do you find attractive in men?
- I don't know.
Uh, I guess I like a guy that doesn’t wanna hold me back.
Like, helps me let loose.
Break free a little bit.
- Like, what about bodies?
Like you like big muscles? or...
- Mm-mhm, nah. I don't need anything crazy.
Just as long as a guy can lift me.
- Lift you?
- Sometimes I like to be lifted.
Sometimes I need to be lifted.
[Music]
- See you later, Tori.
You folks, have a great day.
[Music]
[Beeping noise]
[Car door opens]
[Car door closes] [Pressing window down]
[Music]
[Engine starts]
[Birds chirping]
[Engine sound]
- “No littering” is a good rule.
- Okay, team.
We've got another hot and sunny day.
We've got our morning swim
and then the regular patrons
will be here in the masses
before you could say chlorine levels check.
We're gonna be doing the classic buddy system today.
You and your partner will go up,
then surveillance and maintenance,
and then back down.
This is gonna be a constant 30 minute rotation.
I am now going to assign buddys
in no particular order or reason.
We've got Tory and Brenda.
McHenry and myself,
and then Mike and Emma.
Uh, Mike and Emma.
You guys can start by putting the lane lines up.
[Clicks tongue]
[Water splashing]
- Question.
How do you like the college you’re at?
I’m narrowing my list of schools to apply to.
- It's on Harvard where I'm sure you’ll end up.
- I mean, [Chuckles] I might apply and go if they have me,
but...
[Water splashing]
- I found a good fit for me.
- What are you studying?
- Accounting. Right now.
- Accounting?
Doesn’t really sound like a career involving children.
- Uh, well, it's not, um,
but I don't,
I don’t know it’s,
it's a safe path.
- Safe path? Wow.
You went after my own heart.
[Laughs]
Do you like it?
- God, no.
- You shouldn't do it then.
[Water splashing]
- So, on the topic of career paths and such,
how have you been liking being lifeguard this summer?
- I've actually really been enjoying the summer.
Never hung out with such...
- Degenerates!
- I was gonna say interesting people. [Chuckles]
Thanks for welcoming in a square like me.
- You’re not a square, Mike.
You're one of us now.
We like you.
- I like you
Uh, as lifeguards,
people and lifeguards.
Thank you. I'm sorry.
[Laughs]
- Come on, let's go hang out
before the main crowd gets here.
- Oh, uh, I'll probably just swim a few laps while I can.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh my God.
Please leave!
I just gotta swim of this one off.
- Good morning.
[Indistinct chatter] I don't know maybe 6 A.M. tomorrow? - Yeah.
[Birds chirping]
- Okay. I'm good.
[Splashing sound]
- So Mike totally has the hots for you, Emma.
- Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
Are you sure?
- First off, who wouldn't?
Second off, he does
[Chuckles]
- Thank you.
- So, are you going to do anything about it?
Blow his mind.
He’s pretty cute.
- Mm-hmm, I don't know.
He’s still in high school.
I told myself I'd leave high school boys in high school.
- He's 18 already.
And it's not like you're gonna see him in Anatomy together.
- Yeah. I guess you're right.
- Doesn’t mean he won’t study it though.
[Laughs]
[Patriotic music plays]
- 4th of July weekend, folks.
The summer activities are set.
And I've got eight hours
of the best American USA music available.
I even threw in a few quotes and speeches.
- What is your favorite patriotic song, Tory?
- You can play all the nationalist propaganda that you want.
Won't convince me America is a good country.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're all well aware
of your anti-American communist opinions.
- I just don't think there's a lot to celebrate.
- America's by no means perfect, but what is?
- Probably China?
- America is the greatest country in the world.
Period!
- Well articulated, Kyle.
I'm on his side now.
- We are the richest country in the world,
and we don't have universal health care.
Where does all the money go? Our military.
The only reason we need...
- We've all seen the opening to the newsroom.
I get it, but it ain't all that bad.
- It's pretty bad.
- Haven't you ever had some dark moments in your past?
Maybe something you regret.
We still celebrate your birthday, don't we?
- My dark moments are more on a drunk hookup level,
not a full on neo-Nazi marching in the street level.
- So what you're saying
is that you don't like the government
and that we need some massive changes.
It's funny.
I remember a few great men having that
same idea just a few hundred years ago.
- Great men?
They were all slave owners.
- Nobody's perfect. Okay?
But America has created
some really amazing things.
Like Cedar Point,
the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.
- Raegan!
- And those are both in Cleveland.
- You think we've atoned for slavery
by having the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame?
- Brenda, you're on my side.
- Well, I agree with you,
that there is a poor allocation of resources
and many systematic issues
dating back to the founding of our country.
The fact that we even feel the need to choose sides
is an issue in and of itself.
- I don't know what you just said,
but it sounded unpatriotic.
- In more colloquial terms,
America is hashtag complex.
- I think the point that we're trying to make
is that despite our flaws and our past faults,
America has been a civilization of people
that create the best, the fastest,
the easiest things
and the most wonderful things.
You know, are some people just in it for themselves?
Yeah.
And unfortunately, those people are winning.
Nice guys finish last,
is unfortunately, a true concept.
Are we the greatest country in the world?
Number one.
I don't know,
but what I do know
is that there's plenty of things in this country
worth celebrating for at least one day.
I mean, I'm looking at four
of the greatest American things right now.
[Scoffs]
- Okay. Okay, okay.
I will celebrate all of the good friends
I have that were born in the U.S. of A.
- Yeah, that's the spirit.
- But I am not wearing a bunch of stars and stripes.
- It's looking really awesome.
- I bet. I can't wait to see it.
You know, I'm supposed to be
putting the face paint on you.
- Yeah, but I like drawing and painting.
Plus, red and blue aren't my colors.
- Okay.
[Upbeat music plays]
- Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
for our next event of the evening,
it's time for the adults to have a little fun.
I'm going to need all the dads
to line up at the diving board,
because it is time for the annual Dad Beer Toss.
Now, the rules are simple.
You catch the beer, you get to keep it.
If you drop it,
well, you still get to keep it.
But we will think less of you as men.
Maggie, are you ready?
- I've been ready since last year.
- Then let those beers fly!
[Upbeat music]
- Oh, yeah. [Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
- Bye, guys.
- See you later. - Thank you.
- Come back again.
- Thanks, everyone.
Happy 4th of July.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Gate closes]
[Upbeat music]
[Pouring sound]
[Laughter]
[Indistinct chatter] [Upbeat music]
- Nice blowing technique.
- Thanks.
- You know, I've always found fireworks
to be really romantic.
- Really?
I've always found them to be extreme safety hazards.
- Of course you do.
- Where are my sparklers?
I wanna set something on fire!
- Look.
Most people find them to be romantic.
Most lifeguards.
Most girls.
- Oh.
- I'm saying you should go ask Emma
to sit next to you during the fireworks.
- Yeah, I go-, got that part.
- Okay, good.
- Boys are so dumb!
[Upbeat music]
- Hi, Emma!
- Hey, Mike.
- Are you excited to watch the fireworks?
- Yeah.
I was wondering, do you have anyone
you're watching the fireworks with yet?
- You mean, like, watch the fireworks with someone?
- Um, yeah, I guess,
which sounds really stupid
now that I think about it.
- No, that's cute. I'm flattered.
- A boy hasn’t asked me to watch the fireworks
with him since like the fifth grade.
Although it was my cousin,
so it's pretty weird.
- Well, the good thing about me is
I'm not your cousin.
[Rock music plays]
- Hey, hey, hey, kiddos.
Who wants an Island drink?
We're gonna start with
two ounces of some nice white rum.
Followed by a nice amount of pineapple juice.
Top it all up
with a splash of cranberry.
[Music plays]
[Water splashing]
Oh!
[Laughter]
[Music plays]
- Yeah, I always loved Tom cruise.
You guys...
[Object falls]
So who wants a beer?
[Music plays]
[Music]
[Shouting] [Music]
- Hey, uh, who's queuing up the tunes?
- I would like to make a request.
- What do you want?
- You know, I don't remember the name,
but I think I know what to search for,
if I just look for the album,
I could probably find it.
- NO! It's gonna be that,
that, that "Take Your Clothes Off" song.
- What?
- Is this true, Norb?
- No. I,
I have...
- Sorry, Norb.
I got a orient tunes
in a democratic way on the fourth.
A playlist, uh, of the people,
by the people, for the people.
- Yeah, I can’t argue with that.
[Music]
[Water splashing]
[Upbeat music]
[People cheering]
- Yeah! Whoo!
- Now we won’t float away from each other.
Hey, I'm really glad
you're working here this summer.
- I am too.
- Of all the people I've ever worked with or met,
you’re the first person that take me seriously.
- You're the first person I can be unserious around.
- Maggie! Delivery.
[People cheering]
[Fireworks explosion in distance]
[People cheering]
[Music plays]
[Music]
[Fireworks explosion] [Music]
[Music]
[Background noise]
[Birds chirping]
[Lawn mower noise]
- Norb!
[Water splashing]
[Birds chirping]
- Oh. Hey, Tim.
- You care to explain yourself?
What the hell happened here last night?
- Well, in summary, I guess, like,
a couple hundred years ago,
these guys signed a piece of paper.
So in honor of that,
we got blacked out.
- Damn it, Norb.
This place is a mess.
We open in an hour.
Uh, 15 minute power clean.
No problem.
- Get out of the pool.
Jeez
[Background noise]
[Background noise] [Birds chirping]
[Loud bang]
Winston!
[Door opens]
- What the hell is this?
McHenry.
- Oh! Hey, you guys.
- What did you guys do?
- Just a little late night training.
- Yeah, I mean, look at it this way.
We were pretty drunk
when we strapped him in there
and it's pretty secure.
So I'd say if we ever have to do this during the day.
No problem.
[Laughs]
- Just get him down from there.
- How are you feeling, champ?
- I actually feel really good, but...
can you give me, like, ten more minutes?
[Unstrapping]
[Background noise]
- Ow.
[Birds chirping]
- How are you feeling?
- So thirsty.
[Chuckles]
- I must be really hangover.
- Oh, honey.
You're sitting up
and you're speaking in complete sentences.
You’ll have way worse hangovers than this.
- That's exciting to look forward to.
- How are you feeling?
- Really good, actually.
I’m glad we did this.
- Me too.
- Can I,
can I...
- Can you kiss me again?
- Yeah.
- Yes, you can.
[Kissing]
- So, what do we about the others?
Like, should we tell them?
- Mm-mhm,
I don't think we need to walk around
with shirts that say "we hooked up" on them.
But I won’t deny it if anybody asks.
- I won't deny it.
Not sure if they'll believe me.
[Laughs]
I don't believe it myself.
[Yawns]
- Come on.
Let's go find some coffee.
Do you work today?
- Yup.
Double shift.
- Oh.
Double shift after the fourth.
Yeah, that's a new guy classic.
[Exhales]
- What about you?
- Yeah. I'm not here until the afternoon.
So I’m gonna have a nap first.
[Sighs] - Jealous.
[Chuckles]
[Background noise] [Birds chirping]
- I'm pretty sure I barfed somewhere last night
but I can't remember where.
- Well, if you find it,
can you, like, clean it up?
- Was I on the golf course last night?
[Running] [Bird chirping]
- Hey, Winston.
Can you, like, get up in the chair?
I'll get you next rotation.
[Water splash]
[Background noise]
[Footsteps approaching]
- Holy shit.
Norb?
- Oh! No way.
Is That Brett Crumbly?
- Yeah. You're still here?
- Yeah. Where else would I be?
- Hey, man. Good to see you.
Oh, it's been forever. - Yeah, man.
Yo, Mike, this is Brett Crumbly.
Legendary lifeguard from when I started here.
So, what brings you here?
- My wife.
I have a wife now.
Yeah, her parents actually belong here,
and we're here for the weekend, so...
You guys look properly hangover, though.
I'd take it the 4th of July party went well
- Dude. Big time.
[Inhales]
[Exhales]
I really miss hanging out with you guys.
I wish you could make my parties.
[Sighs]
- Those were good memories,
but I can't be doing that anymore.
We're actually having a baby.
- Oh, dude. Bummer.
- No, we wanted one.
It was actually intentional.
- Congratulations then.
[Chuckles]
- Thank you. Yeah. I'm super excited.
I'm gonna love that little prince. And my wife?
She's a queen.
And she's not even secretly listening
to this conversation or anything.
I really mean it.
[Chuckles]
- I'm happy to hear that for you dude.
- Yeah. Life’s good.
Well, hey, family is waiting for me. Uh,
cornhole loser has to buy dinner tonight,
so I gotta prepare.
- Well, if I remember correctly,
I think you’ll be ok.
- All right.
Take care.
Have a good one.
- You know, we could, like, hang out some time. Catch up?
I haven't seen you in years, dude.
[Sighs] - Yeah, man.
I'll try to fit you in my schedule.
Um, I have a lot going on, but yeah, um,
yeah, maybe I’ll run into you.
- Man, I really used to look up to that guy.
I wanted to be just like him.
- Wanted or want?
- Very wise insight, my friend.
I have much to ponder now.
- I literally didn't hear you.
My headache is so bad,
the pounding is drowning out regular noise.
[Music plays]
[Music]
- Hey, Mike.
'What About Bob' is on.
Just started.
- I'm actually gonna go out again,
if that's all right?
Probably end up sleeping over.
- You go have fun!
- Later. Love you!
[Upbeat music continues]
[Upbeat music]
- Going out again.
- Don't you wanted dinner? I made tacos.
- No can do. I’ll be back later.
- You know, this new, uh, confident Mike is concerning.
[Upbeat music]
[Birds chirping]
- Is that a good book?
- I’m intrigued enough to finish it.
- Cool.
- I'm currently reading
well, rereading, actually, Michelle Obama's newest book.
It is amazing.
She is such a personal hero of mine.
- That is really cool, Tory.
[Whistle blows]
- Stop running, Tommy!
[Sighs]
- So, McHenry,
in the most correctly appropriate way possible,
how's your ass feeling today?
[Laughs]
- Dude, it's still freaking hurts, man.
- Man, You are a mad-man.
- I know, dude. I love doing crazy stuff like that.
It's the best.
And it's still like,
so cool that you party like that too.
- W-what do you mean, still?
- Well, like, you know, my brothers, they... - Mm-hmm.
- They're all about discipline nowadays,
and getting up early and like schoolwork and stuff.
It’s so lame.
- Yeah.
My life is totally awesome. [Chuckles]
- Hey, Mike, do you have any plans this week?
I was thinking about having the guards over
for a dinner party.
Try to have a respectable evening for once.
[Music and party noises]
- Let's go!
- Yeah!
- Oh! Oh!
[Party music plays] [Indistinct chatter]
- You do this one.
I'm totally wasted.
[Laughs]
- Hi Maggie, I’m wasted.
- Wait.
[Laughs]
- This is for all my fans.
[Fart noise]
[Laughs]
- Good stuff. You should totally post that.
- Dude, we should go to the gas station
and see if you can buy some beer.
- What do you mean?
Can't you just buy it?
- Well, yeah, um, but,
I buy beer all the time.
We should see if you can do it.
- I don't understand.
Why would we do that?
[Chuckles] [Police siren]
- 'Cause it's fun, dude.
We go in, and if they don't sell it to you,
and they, like, chase us down the street,
and we just run as fast as we can
to the next place and see if they'll sell to you.
- Oh. - Oh.
- Oh, God.
[Crosstalk]
- We received a report of a TikTok
inviting every hot high schooler
from Monroe High to this address?
- Shit.
- You don't look like a hot high school chick,
so you're not welcome.
- Oh, I'm sure he'll leave now.
- All right, I'm gonna need to see some IDs.
- Don't worry, you guys. I'll handle this.
Look,
I'm a lifeguard.
And you're a police officer.
Our jobs really aren't that different, right?
Like we save people.
So, can I speak to you
as a fellow officer of the law?
- No.
- Shit.
- We got a runner.
- Go! go! S-shit. Oh!
[Running]
[Police sirens]
[Background noise]
- Nice going, Brenda.
- It's sarcasm.
You were the one that kept telling her to post the video.
- Yeah.
Plus, Mike was the one who started running
in the first place.
- Are you seriously blaming me?
I'm going to jail because of you people.
- Whoa! Whoa!
We didn't make you do anything.
- You made me drink.
You made me break the law.
I never got into any trouble
before I met you psychos.
- Sorry for trying to show you a good time.
- You were just having a good time
watching me break bad. You used me, Emma.
- I did not use you.
- I was just your summer entertainment, wasn't I?
Someone you could convince
to have a few drinks with, have sex with,
and then just leave.
- That's not what I did.
- Why don’t you just go back
to your dumb little party school,
and leave me alone.
- You are way out of line, dude.
- I was wondering when you were going to butt in
and make this about yourself.
- How am I making this about myself?
- That's what you SJWs always do.
You gotta throw your two pennies on every subject.
- I was defending my friend, you dipshit.
- Look, can everybody please stop fighting?
One of these days, we're gonna look back on this
and we'll have a big laugh.
- Oh, and say, "Hey, remember when we were young and dumb?"
Take a look in the mirror, dude.
[Background noise]
[Engine noise]
[Car door opens] [Footsteps approaching]
- Looks like you're free to go.
[Background noise]
- Jimmy?
What are you doing here?
I was in the neighborhood.
I saw the lights.
What did you do?
I was able to make a few calls.
I talked to the officer,
and let's just say you all have
a lot of public service coming up.
- Dude. Thank you so mu...
- I told them that it was the best way
for you all to learn how to act like adults.
You kids have a good night.
[Car door opens]
[Car door closes]
[Objects clattering]
[Indistinct chatter]
- This omelet is egg-cellent.
[Indistinct chatter]
- What’s got you down, sport?
- I’m finished?
- Now, why would you say something like that?
- Because Mike is right.
I'm almost 30.
And I really need to get a real job or something.
- I agree.
So what's been holding you back?
- You know, when you're young
and everybody's always asking you like what's next for you?
What are you gonna be when you grow up?
They always tell you that,
you have your whole life ahead of you
and that you’re so young.
Well, eventually they stop saying that.
Instead, they start saying, "What happened?" Or,
"What a waste."
I guess, I just really wasn't ready
to make the jump from one thing to the next.
And I thought that if I just forced it,
that maybe
I could still have everything ahead of me.
- You know, when I first started at the club,
I was too scared
to do a flip off the diving board.
I got all the way to the end,
and I just do a cannonball.
It was safe, it was easy.
And then one day,
another young guard came up to me.
And he told me that safe and easy path
is always gonna be there.
You can always go back to it.
But, there is a whole other world out there
that's just one diving board flip away.
You just have to choose to jump.
You know who said that to me?
- Was it me?
- No.
- It was Winston.
- Yeah, I said that.
- Good advice.
- Yeah, I know.
- I-I-I just don't even know what to say to you right now.
- Can you please just stop shouting?
My headache is killing me.
- It should be, mister.
Is this the kind of person you are now?
I just want to know what to expect.
- I thought you wanted me to get into trouble.
- What are you talking about?
- I was on the couch,
you were talking to Jeff, saying how I'm lame,
won’t amount to anything cool.
- That is not what we said.
- If verbatim was.
- I was thinking more along the lines of,
"Hey, maybe going out with some friends."
Maybe splitting a beer,
not ending up in the drunk tank.
- I got to go to work.
- You are quitting that job.
It has been no good for you.
[Birds chirping]
- I really don't know what to say
to you all right now.
- Sir, this is all my fault.
I should take all the blame.
- I should fire all of you.
Especially you, Norb.
- Please don't.
- All right.
There's two weeks left until Labor Day.
You’ll work the rest of the season,
but no promises you'll have a job here
next Memorial Day.
[Exhales]
All right.
It's gonna be the 90s today.
We're going to be packed.
Go get ready to open.
- Hey, I'm really sorry
for getting in trouble last night.
- You got me into a lot more than that.
- Yeah, I know, I'm really sorry, dude.
- It's all been amazing.
- I know I’m a square, but you welcomed me anyways.
First time anyone's ever done that for me.
Don’t let that part of you ever change.
[Birds chirping]
[Laughter]
- Those were some good cheese cakes.
- Yeah.
- What's your favorite?
[Laughs]
- My favorite, that'd be a chocolate strawberry.
- My favorite is, like, Mexican.
- How's it going girls?
- Hey.
[Laughs]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Laughter]
- House rules. - I'm not gonna,
I’m not gonna do that.
Because I've been here longer than you.
And so, house seniority.
- See?
- If you think of it like a line of succession.
Right. Like I'm higher up and therefore...
But then again, I don’t want to get too hierarchical.
- I’m gonna be honest, I'm waiting for you
to stop talking. Because I...
- Wow. [Inaudible] - Wow. Okay. That's fine. -That's
seniority you should [Crosstalk]
- That's fine.
You know,
[Crosstalk] there’s been some lingering resentment here
and I’m wondering why.
- Hey.
Hottest day of the year, isn't it?
- Yup.
- If you want, I could go get you an ice water.
- That would actually be...
- I won't.
I could,
but I won't.
- Why are we mad at each other?
- I don’t know.
- I drive my daddy’s truck,
drink my momma’s beer,
but I got my own...
- I'm gonna punch you in the... -...girl - ...throat.
- I got my daddy’s truck,
and my momma’s beer,
and I got my own girl.
- Excuse me.
- Hi, how can I help?
- My son over there said he's banned
from the diving boards.
- Which kid are you talking about?
- Cool little dude over there
in the blue swimsuit.
[Water splash]
- Oh,
yeah, right.
Yeah.
We had to ban him from the diving boards
because he kept running up
and pushing people off.
- Oh my God.
He pushed people off the diving boards?
Did they fall into the water safely below them?
- He's got a point.
- Kyle, will you just...
- They were going to jump off anyways.
What's the big idea?
- We asked him repeatedly to stop and he wouldn't.
So he's banned for now.
- Listen, we don't pay 8k a year to not use the diving boards
and not use the bathroom,
and not use a complimentary towels.
- We got complimentary towels?
- I pay 8k a year to use a diving boards,
and use the bathrooms.
And I'll take any dang towel I want.
Because last year
in the P.B. Benson Memorial Golf Outing,
I came in fifth.
Now, what do you have to say to that?
- I say your kid is still banned and now you are too.
[Chuckles] - You're gonna ban me from the diving boards?
The guy that came in fifth
in the P.B. Benson Memorial Golf Outing.
Are you serious?
- Yes.
- You just made a big mistake.
- Hey, don't you go off those diving boards.
I'm freaking gonna!
[Footsteps]
- Really?
[Footsteps]
- Sir, can you please stop being such an ass.
- Watch this Jack Knife
[Bangs head]
[Water splashing]
[Background noise]
[Music]
[Whistles]
[Music] [Water splash]
- Call an ambulance.
- Way ahead of you.
- Emma, you go assist.
- Got it.
- Brenda, get off your phone!
- Don't stop live streaming.
[Music]
- Oh, shit. What now?
Ugh! Seriously?
- Are, are you choking?
[Choking]
[Water splash]
- I got him.
[water splashing]
- Emma I need a tube under his legs.
- Leg tube coming under.
- Norb, bringing him to you now.
- Got it.
- Is he breathing?
- I don't think so.
- We got to get him out now.
- I'm gonna go let the paramedics in.
- Ok, seven minutes.
- Brace cushions on.
- Head straps.
- Head strap on.
- Pull him out in one, two, three.
[Water splash]
[Music]
- Norb, any signs of breathing?
- No, nothing.
- Emma, get some gloves on.
I need you to try and stop the bleeding.
I'm gonna start with the chest compressions.
Norb, get ready with the resuscitater.
- Got it.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Five. Six. Seven.
Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.
- Hey! Whoa! No. No I’m so-,
I need all of you to take five big steps back.
All right. We need to give the guards some room.
We need to keep this area clear.
Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.
Ready with the buzz[?]?
- Ready.
Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight.
Twenty-nine. Thirty. Norb, two breaths.
[Blows air]
Anything?
- Still nothing.
- Winston, it's gotta be stuck in his throat,
I need you to check.
- Oh. Come on. Seriously?
- Yes. Just trust me.
[Choking]
Ugh!
- Ugh!
I am just having the worst day.
- Oh, I think I see it.
- Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.
Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen.
Eighteen. Nineteen.
Give me two more breaths in a moment, Norb.
Got it.
Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight.
Twenty-nine. Thirty. Norb, two breaths.
[Blows air]
Anything?
- Nothing.
- After this round, we'll switch.
I'm getting tired.
- Okay.
- What's going on?
- Please, sir.
- Hey, you all need to sit down.
Everybody needs to listen to her.
She's in charge, and she knows a lot more than you do.
Now sit down, idiots!
[Clears throat]
- Thank you, Kyle.
- I got your back.
[Choking]
- Do you see it?
- Oh, I think I see it.
- Then get it out!
- I think I touched it!
[Squelchy sound]
[Coughs]
- Thank you guys.
- Don't mention it.
- The head bleeding has stopped.
- Thank you.
- Five. Six. Seven. Eight.
Nine. Ten.
[Coughs]
Here. Get this whole thing on its side. - Yeap.
[Coughs]
All right, put him back down slowly.
[Coughing]
- This water isn’t even freaking cold.
[Sighs]
[Birds chirping]
[Water pouring]
[Birds chirping]
[Car stereo playing]
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
[Dog barking]
- Hey, Jeff.
- Hey, Mike.
What time is it?
- Just after ten.
[Car honks]
- I was supposed to be home at 9
P.M.
A few nights ago.
[Can clinks]
Anyway,
mom still pissed at you?
- Yeah.
[Sighs]
- Don't worry. Just keep
doing whatever she says for a few days and it'll blow over.
[Sighs]
Well, since it's your, uh, first offense,
guess I'll help take the heat off you.
You know, I'm sure my return here
will piss her off enough to make her forget
about whatever you did.
- Did you stay out and get in trouble for me?
- Yeah. It was mutually beneficial.
Maybe next time I'll take you with me.
- That'd be cool.
[Sighs]
[Tap on the back]
- Oh, mother!
I'm home!
[Phone rings]
- Hey, Tory.
- Hey, Mike.
- Are you going to be around this Friday?
We get our final paychecks,
do a bit of clean up, say our goodbyes.
It would be really nice if you could swing by.
- Yeah, I'll be there.
[Laughs]
- Oh my gosh.
- I can't believe we got this all.
- Oh my God.
[Laughter]
- When you said that, that was, like, what are you-,
what does that even mean?
[Laughs]
You can say that in any context. -That was our day one
You're right. [Laughter] - Yeah.
- I was nervous.
- Gross.
Honestly, he should have drowned.
- Valid.
- Oh.
[Laughs]
- Hey, um, I just wanted to say thank you
for helping me out the other day.
I really appreciate that.
- I know you independent women
like to defend yourselves and such,
but I got your back.
- What about you, though?
Coming back?
[Laughs]
- I don't think so, little man.
I gotta get a law internship or something.
Build up the old resume
- Dang, Ok.
- Mhm-mhm.
You will have to carry on the shenanigans without me.
- That would be my honor.
- What about you, Norbert?
- Oh, um, actually, I'm becoming a student again.
- Really? Where at, man?
- The firefighters academy.
[Laughs]
- That is really awesome, Norb.
I'm happy for you.
- Thanks, dude.
- But that's not even the best part.
In honor of my many years of excellent service
and awesome personality...
- Right.
- ...the club has decided to make me a member.
[Laughs]
- Guess I will see you next year, then.
- Yep.
- And guess what?
It means you really gotta listen to me.
[Laughs]
- You're screwed, boss.
- Yes, sir.
- Mhm-mhm.
- Mag-attack.
How the hell are you?
- I'm just chummy.
- You know, with me being gone,
the Lifeguards are gonna need a new leader.
- Your head guard whistle. Really?
- Now, this is symbolic.
That whistle has been in my mouth for, like, six years.
I'm probably gonna be buried with it.
- Totally.
I'm honored and will do everything to uphold your legacy.
- Hi, Honored and we'll do everything to uphold your legacy.
I'm Norb.
[Birds chirping]
- Hey, Emma.
I'm so, so sorry.
- I am sorry too, Mike.
- What even are we? Or were we?
- I believe this is what the scholars
refer to as a summer fling.
- Just a fling.
- You don't want a long distance date,
a guy in high school while you're in college.
[Laughs]
- I really don't.
Don't take it personally.
- I don't. I get it.
- But, um, it has come to my understanding
that you're gonna be visiting colleges this year.
I mean, I'm sure you'll end up at Harvard, though.
- I'll reach if anything.
- You come to my school for weekend.
I'll give you an unofficial tour.
- You can count on it.
- I, uh, I might actually be there four more years
since I changed my major.
- Oh, yeah? What to?
- Early childhood education.
- That's great.
- With a minor in finance.
Just in case.
- Just in case.
- You still carry around that rulebook with you?
- Yeah. I mostly leave it in the car now.
- Add this to it.
- Hey, Emma. You ready?
- Yes!
I'm out of here.
[Birds chirping]
- Hey, Mikey.
- Hey, guys.
- I guess I should head out too.
- You know, uh, Winston and I are gonna be
be shutting this place down, draining the pool.
You absolutely don’t have to help us.
But you can hang around if you want.
- Nah, that's a newbies job.
It's not me anymore.
- Get out of here.
- I'll see you guys around.
- Alright, Winston.
Ready to shut this place down?
- I gotta head out too, actually. Back to school.
- Damn.
- Alright, well, on your way.
You know, I can use some alone time here anyway.
- I had a feeling that would be the case.
I'm just going to grab my bag from the shack.
[Music playing]
[Music]
[Birds chirping]
[Upbeat music plays]
- Hey, Norb!
[Upbeat music plays]
[People cheering]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Laughter] [Upbeat music plays]
- Sounds like a bunch of rambunctious kids
just ran into the pool.
You got time for one last shift?
[Upbeat music plays]
[Water splashing]
Whoo!
[Upbeat music plays]
[Laughing]
[Upbeat music plays]
- Yeah!
[Cheers]
[Upbeat music plays]
Yeah!
[Upbeat music plays]
Yeah!
[Upbeat music plays]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Clapping]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Background noise]
[END]