1
00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:03,703
[clattering]

2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

3
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:05,705
[splash]

4
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,675
[crunch]

5
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

6
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:16,282
[eerie music]

7
00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:41,241
[chord]

8
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,644
[low rumbling]

9
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,619
[clicking]

10
00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:14,607
[clicking footsteps]

11
00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:19,379
[whoosh]

12
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,182
[accelerated whirring]

13
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:30,557
[clicking]

14
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:41,167
[shuffling footsteps]

15
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,937
[clicking]

16
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,539
[light rock music]

17
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:44,264
[cosmic hum]

18
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,865
[shuffling footsteps]

19
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:48,468
[clicking]

20
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:50,270
[shuffling footsteps]

21
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,871
[clicking]

22
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:55,441
[clang]

23
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:57,844
[emergency horn blaring]

24
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,245
[shuffling footsteps]

25
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:01,848
[clicking]

26
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,851
[rattling]

27
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,420
[crash]

28
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,822
[clicking]

29
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,825
[horn]

30
00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:15,828
[emergency blaring stops]

31
00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:18,431
[clicking]

32
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,413
[cosmic bubbling]

33
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,384
[engines whirring]

34
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:41,788
[skid]

35
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,791
[clicking]

36
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,194
[shuffling footsteps]

37
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:49,562
[clicking]

38
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,165
[shuffling footsteps]

39
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,367
[clicking]

40
00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:56,168
[shuffling footsteps]

41
00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:58,371
[clicking]

42
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,774
[shuffling footsteps]

43
00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,344
[clicking]

44
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,752
[whirring]

45
00:04:15,154 --> 00:04:17,724
[clicking]

46
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:19,726
[shuffling footsteps]

47
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,127
[clicking]

48
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,729
[shuffling footsteps]

49
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,330
[clicking]

50
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:27,734
[shuffling footsteps]

51
00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:32,305
[scissors cutting]

52
00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:38,311
[wind gently blowing]

53
00:04:48,087 --> 00:04:50,690
[clicking]

54
00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:59,666
[adventurous music]

55
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:10,076
[rattling]

56
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,449
[shuffling footsteps]

57
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,052
[clicking]

58
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,058
[shuffling footsteps]

59
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:30,029
[whoosh]

60
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:32,632
[clicking]

61
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:48,748
Hey, Chad, I finished hosing
all the vomit out of the shower.

62
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:53,386
And-- dude, did you
let crabs back here?

63
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:55,054
Your face has crabs.

64
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,989
[chuckles] (SOFTLY) Nice.

65
00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:58,057
No, you idiot.

66
00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:01,427
There's crabs in the
backyard right now.

67
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,830
Whoa, you're not kidding.

68
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,065
[clicking]

69
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,970
Dude, they're lighter
than they look.

70
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,572
[chuckles] It's
like they're trying

71
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,807
to talk to us or something.

72
00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:18,177
What should we do with
these things, eat 'em?

73
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:19,812
I don't know, man.

74
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:22,014
Never cooked a crab before.

75
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:23,649
Oh, hey, I've got an idea.

76
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,084
Give them some of your beer.

77
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,652
No way, man, this is my beer.

78
00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:27,987
You give them a beer.

79
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:30,890
Dude, if I'm giving
them something,

80
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:34,394
I'm giving them something
way stronger than beer.

81
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,295
[clicking]

82
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,164
[clinking on glass]

83
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,869
Dude, do you think
this is a good idea?

84
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,270
[poof]

85
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,839
[FRENETIC ELECTRONIC DANCE
MUSIC]

86
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:54,213
[poof]

87
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:56,783
[FRENETIC ELECTRONIC DANCE
MUSIC]

88
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,126
[blaring horn]

89
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:09,095
[whoosh]

90
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:10,496
[metallic slice]

91
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:11,531
[splat]

92
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,466
Dude, what the hell?

93
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:14,400
[whoosh]

94
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,301
[metallic slice]

95
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:16,269
[splat]

96
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,371
Oh, dude, you bled on me.

97
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,372
[splat]

98
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,406
Stop it, bro.

99
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:21,340
[spits]

100
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,175
[splat]

101
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,142
You stop it.

102
00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:24,277
Fuck you, man.

103
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,445
Fuck you back.

104
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,412
[crunch]

105
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:28,781
Dude, are you kidding me?

106
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:29,515
[crunch]

107
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:32,118
Oh, my favorite finger.

108
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,120
[energetic rock music]

109
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,457
[blower whirring]

110
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,058
[pops]

111
00:07:40,058 --> 00:07:41,060
[shuffling footsteps]

112
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,629
[suspenseful music]

113
00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:47,033
(ON RADIO) Salutations
to you all.

114
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,534
This is DJ Cow Spank.

115
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,402
[smack]

116
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,703
[moo]

117
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:52,104
I don't know how your
day has been so far,

118
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:54,440
but I'm having a dandy
old time pumping out tunes

119
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,908
for y'all to enjoy.

120
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:58,277
Later on, I'll be playing
some heavier stuff for you

121
00:07:58,277 --> 00:07:59,545
all to rage to.

122
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,481
But for now, let's
dabble with something

123
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,449
a little on the lighter side.

124
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:05,585
[heavy metal rock music]

125
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:09,222
[click]

126
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,356
[music stops]

127
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:11,791
Now, you're sure
this is the place?

128
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:15,328
Six weeks of investigation,
eight stoolies, a dozen

129
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,263
eyewitnesses, and
a drug trail so

130
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:20,399
thick I could bounce a
roll of quarters off it.

131
00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:22,335
He's in there.

132
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,437
Whatever you say, Bobo.

133
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,606
[laughing]

134
00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:32,345
That's Detective Bobo,
you flat-footed son of a--

135
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:32,945
Freeze.

136
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:41,854
All right, which one of you
here is the cocaine king?

137
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,495
You think arresting me
is going to do any good?

138
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:50,630
You fools.

139
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,164
You can't stop cocaine.

140
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:53,132
Cocaine is the world.

141
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:54,367
Cocaine is life.

142
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,768
[evil laugh]

143
00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,203
Well, it can certainly
get you that if the judge

144
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,337
is in a bad mood.

145
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,273
You haven't seen the last of me.

146
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,775
Heretic, non-believer.

147
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,378
Well, I'll be sure and tell
the meth queen you said hi.

148
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,512
Oh, man, fuck that bitch.

149
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:07,947
She still owes me 2 kilos.

150
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,092
Hey, man you like doughnuts?

151
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:22,695
I got some leftovers from
this morning's meeting.

152
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:23,629
I sure do.

153
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:24,597
Cool.

154
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:25,731
What's your favorite kind?

155
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,633
I'm a powdered
sugar fan, myself.

156
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,637
You're in luck.

157
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,446
See, if you had a job
and worked for a living,

158
00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:41,714
you'd get first pick.

159
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:44,116
But you don't, so you
get the leftovers.

160
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,585
[clatter]

161
00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:49,622
What the hell, man?

162
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:51,857
Bootstraps, pal, bootstraps.

163
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,000
[ominous music]

164
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,806
[scoffs] What is
this, a crab rave?

165
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:08,941
[vacuum whirring]

166
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,082
[shuffling footsteps]

167
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:17,483
[pshht]

168
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:18,484
[pop]

169
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:19,885
[energetic music]

170
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:21,487
[concrete scrape]

171
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,488
[shuffling footsteps]

172
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:23,456
[splat]

173
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,057
[screams]

174
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:26,459
[shuffling footsteps]

175
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,460
[splat]

176
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,461
[yells]

177
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,062
[thud]

178
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,031
[chord]

179
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,635
[shuffling footsteps]

180
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,508
You found them
exactly like this?

181
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:43,743
Yeah, man.

182
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,312
I didn't do nothing
but cover them up.

183
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,180
All right, what do we got?

184
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:48,948
Two dead.

185
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:49,849
Both took it in the neck.

186
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,887
Were you in the house
when this happened?

187
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:57,123
No, I was out with
my lady all day.

188
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:58,790
She wanted sushi,
which is great.

189
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:02,261
But now I'm going to
have sushi burps all day.

190
00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:03,396
Mr.--

191
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,363
No "Mister" here, dude.

192
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:05,865
Just call me Tad.

193
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,668
Tad, do you have any pruning
clippers here in the house?

194
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:09,835
Pruning?

195
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,038
No, we barely do
dishes around here.

196
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:13,439
Did your roommates get along?

197
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:18,577
Oh, totally, although
Brad did owe Chad $5.

198
00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:20,312
They didn't do
this to each other.

199
00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:23,149
That guy got it first,
right in the main artery.

200
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,917
There's no way he'd
have the strength

201
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:28,287
to retaliate, no matter how much
coke might be in his system.

202
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:29,321
Cocaine?

203
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:30,723
I swear it's not mine.

204
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:33,626
Are you telling me you didn't
see the dime bag and the razor

205
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,961
blade over on the ground
next to the table?

206
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:37,997
Of course, I did.

207
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,865
Four whole months for
that badge, and that's

208
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,200
the best you can do?

209
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,936
Tell me you can at least
get a cat out of a tree.

210
00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:46,539
Well, at least I'm not
a complete laughingstock

211
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,908
at the precinct, Bobo.

212
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:52,411
Here, just because I
know how much you blue

213
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:54,714
shirts love fingering criminals.

214
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,681
[splat]

215
00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:56,582
Dude.

216
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:59,151
[burps] Eh, sushi burps.

217
00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:06,358
(ON RADIO) Detective Reese,
Detective Reese, come in.

218
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:09,428
Detective Reese?

219
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:11,197
Detective Reese, are you there?

220
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:11,964
Please respond.

221
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,035
Reese here.

222
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,437
(ON RADIO) Detective, you're
needed at a 187 downtown

223
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:19,872
on Broadway and Pine.

224
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:22,007
Dispatch, I'm already
at a 1-8-7 on Maple.

225
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:24,009
Is there anyone else
who can take that?

226
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,044
(ON RADIO) Negative.

227
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,847
You are the closest responder.

228
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,348
10-4, on my way.

229
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:44,897
[suspenseful music]

230
00:12:47,665 --> 00:12:50,269
[shuffling footsteps]

231
00:12:57,042 --> 00:12:59,578
Detective Charlie Reese.

232
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:02,648
(CHEWING) I'm Steve.

233
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:05,484
Steve, did you did
you call this in?

234
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:06,786
Sure did.

235
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,555
And how, may I ask,
did you phone this in?

236
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,924
Cell phone.

237
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:14,226
You have a cell phone?

238
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:15,694
No, but he did.

239
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,329
Where is it now?

240
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,665
I put it back in his
pocket where I found it.

241
00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,200
His pocket?

242
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,034
Yep.

243
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:23,035
He's got a wallet in there, too.

244
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,170
No cash in it, though.

245
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,304
I checked.

246
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,239
I'm sure you did.

247
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,375
Steve, were you here
when this happened?

248
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,477
Nope, heard it from
around the corner.

249
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,548
About how long ago
did you find the body?

250
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,816
Oh, about a half hour ago.

251
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:40,653
OK, I'm just going to ask.

252
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,887
Why did you hang around?

253
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,455
You could have just taken off?

254
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:46,659
Because I want you guys to
know that I didn't do this.

255
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,960
I know how it goes.

256
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,829
You ask everyone in
the area what happened.

257
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,530
Someone mentioned
seeing me nearby.

258
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,966
You guys come after me and
make my life a living hell.

259
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:55,467
No, thank you.

260
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:58,370
I'd rather just get
it out of the way now.

261
00:13:58,370 --> 00:13:59,772
I believe you.

262
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:00,706
What?

263
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,474
Here.

264
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:03,809
Here's $20.

265
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:06,345
Another officer will
be here in 10 minutes.

266
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:10,149
Wait right here, and tell
him everything you told me.

267
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:13,652
Should I mention I stole
his underwear, too?

268
00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:14,453
What?

269
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:15,554
No.

270
00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:17,423
It's just I've never
had silk undies before.

271
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:21,193
It's like both butt cheeks
died and went to Heaven.

272
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,428
Really?

273
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:25,064
Silk under-- look, just
tell him how you found him.

274
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:26,899
And tell him that
detective Reese

275
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,834
says you didn't do it, OK?

276
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,002
Aye-aye, sir.

277
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:35,341
Ooh, yeah, booty like.

278
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:35,941
Ooh.

279
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,213
Captain?

280
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,415
Captain.

281
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,417
Captain, I have
got to talk to you.

282
00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:48,020
You do realize this is
the one time of the day

283
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,923
that I want absolutely
no one talking to me.

284
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:52,625
Yes, I know, and I'm sorry.

285
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,560
But this is important.

286
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,694
It always is.

287
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,429
You know those two
dead frat boys?

288
00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,565
Well, I just left an
alley where someone was

289
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,200
murdered in the same manner.

290
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,768
You think they're related?

291
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:06,772
All three victims had small
body parts removed or severed--

292
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:10,276
throats, fingers, tendons.

293
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:12,745
You do realize I'm
still eating, right?

294
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,880
Sorry, Captain.

295
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,482
So what?

296
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,418
You think someone's going around
with a knife mutilating people?

297
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,620
The wounds don't
suggest a knife, sir.

298
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:25,257
The cut marks are made in two
opposite closing directions.

299
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,927
Reese, do not tell me you think
someone's going around town

300
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,228
snipping people to death.

301
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:32,464
That is not what I
want to hear right now.

302
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:33,933
OK, I won't.

303
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,267
Good.

304
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,036
Unfortunately, you're
going to like what I'm

305
00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:39,705
about to tell you even less.

306
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,273
Here it comes.

307
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,609
I think animals
may have done this.

308
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,744
[sighs] And boom.

309
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:47,413
Captain, I'm serious.

310
00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:48,948
Oh, I can tell you're serious.

311
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,482
That's what worries me.

312
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,952
Captain, I know this
sounds ridiculous.

313
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,153
I know it, too.

314
00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:55,654
But I'm telling you.

315
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:57,756
Do I even want to know
what kind of animal

316
00:15:57,756 --> 00:15:59,591
you think is doing this?

317
00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:01,026
You probably don't.

318
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,795
Just spill it.

319
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,395
Crabs.

320
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,867
[sighs] You realize
the entire force

321
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:11,570
thinks you're a laughing stock
because of the clown case,

322
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,871
right?

323
00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:15,207
Did you know they're calling
you Bobo behind your back?

324
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:17,509
All except the ones
who say it to my face.

325
00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:19,812
When they catch
word of this, things

326
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,146
will only get worse for you.

327
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,815
And they will find out.

328
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,216
They always do.

329
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:25,718
There's probably
one or two of them

330
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,953
with their ear pressed up
against the door right now.

331
00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:30,189
They're like little
gossip gremlins.

332
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,824
Captain, I would
not be doing this

333
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,726
unless I was almost
certain of it.

334
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,461
You think a crab--

335
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,229
Or crabs.

336
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:40,566
[sighs] You think crabs are
pinching people to death,

337
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,002
and you want me to
take this seriously?

338
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,337
Well, when you put it that way.

339
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,007
Reese, you've got a great
record as a detective.

340
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,342
But lately, you've got
me wondering about you.

341
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:53,112
Well, what's it going to take
for you to take this seriously?

342
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:54,980
Well, for starters,
get somebody to agree

343
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:58,050
with you, someone who knows
what they're talking about.

344
00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,785
I've already put some
thought into that.

345
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:03,389
But we don't have an aquarium
or any sort of marine biology

346
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:04,823
facility here in the city.

347
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:07,259
Well, you better find a
seafood restaurant or something

348
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:10,194
because right now your
story smells fishy.

349
00:17:10,194 --> 00:17:11,230
You like that?

350
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,464
Smells fishy?

351
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:15,601
I put it in there just for you.

352
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,169
[scoffs]

353
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,105
[dog footsteps]

354
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,442
[typing]

355
00:17:25,810 --> 00:17:27,378
[scoffs]

356
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:32,217
Look, Larry, I know technically
speaking you're my supervisor,

357
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,986
and you're supposed
to be the one calling

358
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,220
all the shots around here.

359
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,955
And I'm just the
lowly subordinate,

360
00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:38,390
making a fraction
of what you do,

361
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,892
even though I'm more
qualified than you

362
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:43,162
for this job on just about
every level there is.

363
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,364
But can I ask that next
time you move the mail beta

364
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,466
fish that you keep a
partition between them?

365
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:50,536
Because you see, male betas
are extremely territorial,

366
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:53,005
even with betas that aren't
even in the same tank.

367
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,840
If they're within
eyeshot of each other,

368
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,811
it can cause them undue stress
and even shorten their lives.

369
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,746
[birds chirping]

370
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:05,651
Thanks, Larry.

371
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,386
You're an absolute
peach to work with.

372
00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:08,887
No, seriously, I mean it.

373
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,423
Try not to eat any soap on
the way back to your chair.

374
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,370
[store bell]

375
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,640
Do you have an Alex
Bailey working here?

376
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,250
Alex Bailey?

377
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,485
How did you know my name?

378
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,989
Right, duh.

379
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:47,459
I'm Detective Charlie
Reese, and I need your help.

380
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,861
Why me?

381
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:51,964
Because I understand you know
quite a bit about crustaceans.

382
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,866
OK, that's not on my name tag.

383
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,000
How do you know that?

384
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,668
Manager at the
seafood restaurant

385
00:18:56,668 --> 00:18:59,471
says you picketed
his place before.

386
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:00,305
Guilty.

387
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,774
[chuckles] That guy hates me.

388
00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:04,877
Wait, I'm not in
trouble for that, am I?

389
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,178
That was like a year ago.

390
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,780
No, I'm here because
I need your expertise.

391
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:10,682
Expertise?

392
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:11,783
What do you mean?

393
00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:14,019
I need to know that you
know your stuff when

394
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:15,654
it comes to shellfish.

395
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:16,922
Shellfish?

396
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:19,458
Well, crustaceans or mollusks?

397
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:23,395
The kind with strong claws.

398
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:27,099
Yeah, crustaceans--
crabs, lobsters, shrimp,

399
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,535
crayfish, although
not all lobsters

400
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:32,604
have pinchers or chelae,
as they're properly called.

401
00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:34,339
And I wouldn't consider
shrimp pinchers

402
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,942
to be strong because
they're quite tiny.

403
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:39,611
But I'm guessing "strong"
is a relative term here.

404
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:44,917
For now, let's just say
we're talking about crabs.

405
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:48,720
Oh, sweet, crabs
are my favorite.

406
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,691
Yeah, well, there's over 6,000
different species of crabs.

407
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:56,061
They're decapod crustaceans
that can live in freshwater,

408
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:57,663
saltwater, or on land.

409
00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:01,233
They have an exoskeleton with
the central carapace protecting

410
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:02,634
their cephalothorax.

411
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:04,102
OK, you pass.

412
00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:07,406
But what I really need to know
is, can one of these things

413
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:08,373
kill someone?

414
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,175
Kill someone?

415
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:13,679
I mean, there are poisonous
crabs, but they're very rare

416
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:15,514
and not found
anywhere near here.

417
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:18,350
No, no, I'm not talking
about poisonous crabs.

418
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:21,253
Well, then what kind of
crabs are you talking about?

419
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:23,789
Kind you'd find
on a dinner plate.

420
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:27,326
Metacarcinus magister?

421
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,328
Dungeness crab.

422
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,363
Wait, you want to
know if a Dungeness

423
00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:33,332
crab can kill someone?

424
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,000
That's what I'm
aiming to find out.

425
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,637
We're talking about a
creature that might--

426
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:41,206
might have the grip
strength to break

427
00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:42,708
the finger of a small child.

428
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:48,080
Trust me, I've been told
how ridiculous this sounds.

429
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,048
Is that alcohol?

430
00:20:50,048 --> 00:20:51,583
That's classified.

431
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,185
Say, would you
mind coming with me

432
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,987
and sharing your wealth
of crab knowledge

433
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,288
with some of my colleagues?

434
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,223
With other police?

435
00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:00,359
I mean, sure, I
guess, that is if you

436
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,262
can get my bonehead manager
to let me off early.

437
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,563
Leave that to me.

438
00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:08,600
Listen, I'm going
to need to take

439
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,135
Miss Bailey in for questioning.

440
00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:12,604
She won't be back in time
for you to close tonight.

441
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:15,340
If you have any questions,
contact Police Headquarters,

442
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:21,680
extension 229.

443
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,448
(LOUDER) If you
have any questions,

444
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:30,155
contact Police
Headquarters, 229.

445
00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:32,124
Is he OK?

446
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,394
I've been working with him
for over two years now.

447
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:37,863
No, I don't think he is.

448
00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:39,865
[footsteps]

449
00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:53,845
[chewing]

450
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,820
[shuffling footsteps]

451
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:04,423
[rustling bag]

452
00:22:05,223 --> 00:22:07,626
[shuffling footsteps]

453
00:22:07,626 --> 00:22:09,828
[pouring water stops]

454
00:22:17,803 --> 00:22:20,405
[ominous music]

455
00:22:38,790 --> 00:22:39,858
[gasps]

456
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:41,259
[frantic music]

457
00:22:41,259 --> 00:22:42,227
[clattering]

458
00:22:42,227 --> 00:22:43,795
[screaming]

459
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,364
[clattering]

460
00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:47,366
[splat]

461
00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:50,702
[splats]

462
00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:53,438
Ooh.

463
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:55,006
[thud]

464
00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:57,376
[shuffling footsteps]

465
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,544
[blower whirring]

466
00:23:00,746 --> 00:23:02,714
[heavy metal music on radio]

467
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:06,151
I can't believe you're
a DJ Cow Spank fan.

468
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:10,088
Oh, DJ Cow Spank is the best.

469
00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:12,324
Is this normal?

470
00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:14,459
DJ Cow Spank playing metal?

471
00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:17,229
That's about as
normal as things get.

472
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:18,797
[music stops]

473
00:23:18,797 --> 00:23:22,934
No, I mean this, getting help
from a civilian, like this.

474
00:23:22,934 --> 00:23:23,769
Normal?

475
00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:26,271
No, but I have done it before.

476
00:23:26,271 --> 00:23:28,473
I once got the
help of a beekeeper

477
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:30,275
to clear a field
that we suspected

478
00:23:30,275 --> 00:23:32,878
someone was burying bodies in.

479
00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:33,545
Ew.

480
00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:36,014
Did you find any?

481
00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:39,851
Eh, I'd rather not say.

482
00:23:39,851 --> 00:23:41,953
Who does that?

483
00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:44,423
There are a lot more
sick people in this world

484
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,358
than most folks realize.

485
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:47,859
I guess so.

486
00:23:47,859 --> 00:23:49,961
(ON RADIO) Detective Reese,
Detective Reese, come in.

487
00:23:49,961 --> 00:23:52,297
Never a dull moment.

488
00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:53,832
Reese here.

489
00:23:53,832 --> 00:23:57,202
(ON RADIO) Detective, you're
needed at 4777 Meadow Lane.

490
00:23:57,202 --> 00:23:57,903
Roger that.

491
00:23:57,903 --> 00:23:59,905
On my way.

492
00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:02,874
I take it we're no longer
headed to police headquarters?

493
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:05,210
Correct.

494
00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:07,345
I'm hoping this isn't bad news.

495
00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:09,714
But somehow, I doubt it.

496
00:24:15,987 --> 00:24:16,922
Wait here.

497
00:24:16,922 --> 00:24:18,256
I want to check
things out first.

498
00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:19,858
It could be pretty
dicey in there.

499
00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:22,661
Here, make yourself a blindfold.

500
00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:24,830
Oh, and lose the name tag.

501
00:24:34,573 --> 00:24:37,976
Well, if it isn't
Detective Claw Patrol.

502
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:40,946
You managed to pinch
any culprits lately?

503
00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:42,013
[laughing]

504
00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:42,848
Hey, watch out.

505
00:24:42,848 --> 00:24:45,150
He's getting pretty steamed.

506
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:48,086
Uh-oh, I'm in hot water now.

507
00:24:48,086 --> 00:24:49,421
[laughing]

508
00:24:49,421 --> 00:24:51,122
All right, you two
baby-macing mother--

509
00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:51,790
That's enough.

510
00:24:54,526 --> 00:24:56,261
Well, Captain, what a surprise.

511
00:24:56,261 --> 00:25:00,398
I can only assume you're here
to make fun of my "vocrabulary"

512
00:25:00,398 --> 00:25:02,767
or tell me I'm "clawstrophobic."

513
00:25:02,767 --> 00:25:05,270
Perhaps you'd like to
borrow my Shell card?

514
00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:08,540
Look, I don't want to hear any
more of this crab nonsense out

515
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:09,207
of you.

516
00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:10,542
Fine.

517
00:25:10,542 --> 00:25:12,110
Then how about you hear
it from a professional?

518
00:25:16,615 --> 00:25:21,119
This is Dr. Alex Bailey,
local marine biologist

519
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,154
and sea-life expert.

520
00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:24,055
I'm not a doc--

521
00:25:24,055 --> 00:25:24,823
[kick]

522
00:25:24,823 --> 00:25:25,223
Ow.

523
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:32,497
OK, Dr. Bailey, if
a crustaceous animal

524
00:25:32,497 --> 00:25:35,667
were able to kill
someone with its claws,

525
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:38,103
what would that look
like on the victim?

526
00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:41,106
OK, well, the animal
in question would

527
00:25:41,106 --> 00:25:44,342
have to be much stronger than
any crustaceans found anywhere

528
00:25:44,342 --> 00:25:45,911
near this continent.

529
00:25:45,911 --> 00:25:48,980
And the ones that we do know
of that can break bone, aside

530
00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:52,817
from being thousands of miles
away, are remarkably slow

531
00:25:52,817 --> 00:25:54,219
and easily avoided.

532
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:57,289
However, if that isn't
the case and there

533
00:25:57,289 --> 00:26:00,525
is a crustaceous animal,
or animals, around here

534
00:26:00,525 --> 00:26:03,028
that are much stronger than
anything we've encountered,

535
00:26:03,028 --> 00:26:05,163
their pinchers
would leave marks,

536
00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:08,266
looking like 2- to
3-inch scissor-style cuts

537
00:26:08,266 --> 00:26:11,770
on the victim, likely
resembling that of someone who

538
00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:15,106
was attacked with some sort
of scissors or pruning tool.

539
00:26:15,106 --> 00:26:17,742
Now, I'd initially think
that all of these cuts

540
00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:20,078
wouldn't occur that
high on the victim,

541
00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:23,081
say, around the
feet or the ankles

542
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:26,151
or possibly even the calves,
as these animals are not

543
00:26:26,151 --> 00:26:27,419
very tall.

544
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:30,155
But if their legs possess
the same enhanced strength

545
00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:32,857
that their pinchers
do, it's quite possible

546
00:26:32,857 --> 00:26:35,327
that these creatures are
able to jump to great heights

547
00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:38,029
and attack somebody in
other areas of the body,

548
00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:41,800
possibly removing fingers or
even more vulnerable areas,

549
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,704
such as the neck or the face,
severing vital arteries,

550
00:26:45,704 --> 00:26:47,439
or even removing
facial features.

551
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:50,141
What exactly are you
trying to pull here, Reese?

552
00:26:50,141 --> 00:26:52,477
There are four
people dead, Captain.

553
00:26:52,477 --> 00:26:54,212
I am trying to prevent a fifth.

554
00:26:54,212 --> 00:26:57,749
By blaming crabs or lobsters
or any other pinching creatures

555
00:26:57,749 --> 00:26:59,150
you can think of?

556
00:26:59,150 --> 00:27:01,186
Well, Captain, unless you
have any better leads,

557
00:27:01,186 --> 00:27:04,456
unlike our latest victim
here, I'm all ears.

558
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,858
Captain, the wounds match--

559
00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:09,995
no hair or fingerprints
found, no weapons

560
00:27:09,995 --> 00:27:14,165
found, no footprints, no one
seen entering or exiting.

561
00:27:14,165 --> 00:27:16,501
Fine, you want to
play Dr. Doolittle,

562
00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:18,870
just do it out of
my sight, Bobo.

563
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,711
[scoffs] Come on,
Alex, let's go.

564
00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:27,812
Reese?

565
00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:29,414
Reese, I'm still blindfolded.

566
00:27:29,414 --> 00:27:30,181
[thud]

567
00:27:30,181 --> 00:27:31,149
Ah.

568
00:27:31,149 --> 00:27:33,718
[dogs barking]

569
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:46,631
Well, thanks for
giving me a ride.

570
00:27:46,631 --> 00:27:48,133
It's the least I could do.

571
00:27:48,133 --> 00:27:49,868
I realize what you
were telling them was

572
00:27:49,868 --> 00:27:51,703
a stretch, to say the least.

573
00:27:51,703 --> 00:27:53,471
But are they always
this hard on you?

574
00:27:53,471 --> 00:27:57,442
No, this is a recent development
with a case a few months back.

575
00:27:57,442 --> 00:28:01,112
A European circus came to
town, and one of the clowns

576
00:28:01,112 --> 00:28:02,247
went missing.

577
00:28:02,247 --> 00:28:05,116
[chuckles] Well, I guess
that explains "Bobo."

578
00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:07,218
Hardy har-har.

579
00:28:07,218 --> 00:28:10,555
Everyone seemed to think the
clown just ran away or possibly

580
00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:12,090
defected.

581
00:28:12,090 --> 00:28:15,060
But none of the evidence or
testimony pointed that way.

582
00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:18,930
I know somewhere out there,
there's a field or a creek

583
00:28:18,930 --> 00:28:23,968
or a storm drain with a very
colorful victim lying in it.

584
00:28:23,968 --> 00:28:26,438
I just don't have
any way to prove it.

585
00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:30,742
And now all this crab stuff
is just icing on the cake.

586
00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:33,078
I think you mean icing
on the crab cake?

587
00:28:35,847 --> 00:28:37,816
So why crabs?

588
00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:39,250
Why do I like them?

589
00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:40,585
Yeah.

590
00:28:40,585 --> 00:28:42,353
Ever since I was a kid, I
just thought they looked cool.

591
00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,155
Anytime we'd vacation
in a city that

592
00:28:44,155 --> 00:28:47,025
had a coast or an aquarium,
I'd always beg my parents

593
00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:48,827
to take me to go see it.

594
00:28:48,827 --> 00:28:50,795
Heck, I've never even
eaten one because I never

595
00:28:50,795 --> 00:28:52,597
wanted to cause one any harm.

596
00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:54,699
I wanted to be a
marine biologist,

597
00:28:54,699 --> 00:28:56,267
study them professionally.

598
00:28:56,267 --> 00:28:58,870
But if you don't have the grades
or money, that line of work

599
00:28:58,870 --> 00:29:01,639
is just a pipe dream.

600
00:29:01,639 --> 00:29:03,274
You're not a fan
of them, are you?

601
00:29:03,274 --> 00:29:05,610
I can't get close
enough to find out.

602
00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:07,011
Allergic?

603
00:29:07,011 --> 00:29:10,381
My hands itch any time I
come near them or anything

604
00:29:10,381 --> 00:29:11,583
they've touched.

605
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:14,486
Hence, my near complete
lack of knowledge on them.

606
00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:17,555
Did your hands itch at
any of the murder sites?

607
00:29:17,555 --> 00:29:18,223
All three.

608
00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:22,160
I believe you.

609
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,662
I don't know how any of this
would at all be possible.

610
00:29:24,662 --> 00:29:26,231
But I believe you.

611
00:29:26,231 --> 00:29:27,532
Well, thanks.

612
00:29:27,532 --> 00:29:29,134
That makes one person.

613
00:29:29,134 --> 00:29:30,769
Hopefully, no one
else has to die

614
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,938
before I convince anyone else.

615
00:29:33,938 --> 00:29:37,609
Oh, and these things
aren't going to, like,

616
00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:41,679
mate and pump out a billion
baby crabs, are they?

617
00:29:41,679 --> 00:29:44,983
Well, these crustaceans are
far from run of the mill.

618
00:29:44,983 --> 00:29:48,419
But larval development can
yield up to 2 million eggs.

619
00:29:48,419 --> 00:29:49,587
What?

620
00:29:49,587 --> 00:29:51,055
Relax.

621
00:29:51,055 --> 00:29:52,824
It takes at least three
months for the eggs to hatch.

622
00:29:52,824 --> 00:29:54,359
And it's not like
these things are

623
00:29:54,359 --> 00:29:56,161
going to gaze up at a full
moon and start pumping out baby

624
00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:58,363
murder crabs tomorrow morning.

625
00:29:58,363 --> 00:29:59,264
Here's hoping.

626
00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:04,102
Good night, Alex.

627
00:30:04,102 --> 00:30:06,704
Good night, Detective.

628
00:30:06,704 --> 00:30:08,706
[footsteps walking away]

629
00:30:08,706 --> 00:30:10,875
[car door opens and closes]

630
00:30:11,442 --> 00:30:13,278
[engine starts]

631
00:30:20,685 --> 00:30:22,887
[insects chirp softly]

632
00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:26,257
[soft classical piano]

633
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,862
[shuffling footsteps]

634
00:30:32,263 --> 00:30:33,665
[pop]

635
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,867
[chirp]

636
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,237
[liquid pouring]

637
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,243
[shuffling footsteps]

638
00:30:46,044 --> 00:30:48,246
[glasses clink]

639
00:30:49,047 --> 00:30:51,249
[shuffling footsteps]

640
00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:56,621
[shuffling footsteps]

641
00:30:57,622 --> 00:30:59,624
[creak]

642
00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:03,628
[vacuum whirring]

643
00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:07,198
[paper rustling]

644
00:31:09,601 --> 00:31:12,203
[vacuum whirring]

645
00:31:26,985 --> 00:31:29,187
[vacuums turn off]

646
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,589
[insects chirp softly]

647
00:31:32,357 --> 00:31:34,559
[romantic music]

648
00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:43,568
[shuffling footsteps]

649
00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:44,969
[needle scratch]

650
00:31:44,969 --> 00:31:46,971
[whoosh]

651
00:31:46,971 --> 00:31:49,540
[shuffling footsteps]

652
00:31:54,545 --> 00:31:55,947
[pop]

653
00:31:55,947 --> 00:31:58,149
[door slides open]

654
00:31:58,583 --> 00:31:59,951
[pop]

655
00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:02,120
[door slides closed]

656
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,501
[squeaking]

657
00:32:20,505 --> 00:32:22,507
[clang]

658
00:32:30,481 --> 00:32:32,884
[squeaking]

659
00:32:32,884 --> 00:32:34,485
[clang]

660
00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:41,092
[squeaking]

661
00:32:41,526 --> 00:32:43,061
[clang]

662
00:32:43,761 --> 00:32:46,064
[shuffling footsteps]

663
00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:53,871
[splash]

664
00:32:53,871 --> 00:32:55,273
[eerie music]

665
00:32:55,273 --> 00:32:57,442
[shuffling footsteps]

666
00:32:57,442 --> 00:33:00,044
[clattering]

667
00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:02,447
[shuffling footsteps]

668
00:33:02,447 --> 00:33:05,450
[clattering]

669
00:33:06,851 --> 00:33:09,454
[shuffling footsteps]

670
00:33:09,454 --> 00:33:12,023
[clattering]

671
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,835
[door slides open]

672
00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:26,804
[clattering]

673
00:33:26,804 --> 00:33:30,008
[shuffling footsteps]

674
00:33:32,810 --> 00:33:36,014
[whimsical electronic music]

675
00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:00,171
[golf swing]

676
00:34:00,171 --> 00:34:02,373
[whistling]

677
00:35:02,667 --> 00:35:04,268
[ding]

678
00:35:45,009 --> 00:35:47,612
[vacuum whirring]

679
00:35:51,015 --> 00:35:53,618
[vacuum whirring]

680
00:36:17,975 --> 00:36:20,578
[vacuum whirring]

681
00:36:21,979 --> 00:36:24,582
[vacuum whirring]

682
00:36:30,555 --> 00:36:32,957
[splat]

683
00:36:34,959 --> 00:36:36,961
[ball through hoop]

684
00:36:49,941 --> 00:36:51,542
[whoosh]

685
00:37:27,378 --> 00:37:28,412
This is stupid.

686
00:37:28,412 --> 00:37:29,847
I'm not afraid of these things.

687
00:37:29,847 --> 00:37:32,049
They just look like a
bunch of plastic toy crabs.

688
00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:33,618
[clattering]

689
00:37:33,618 --> 00:37:35,953
[chomping]

690
00:37:35,953 --> 00:37:38,522
[screaming]

691
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,001
Ah!

692
00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:51,936
Nyah!

693
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:52,803
Ah!

694
00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,305
Uh!

695
00:37:54,305 --> 00:37:56,540
Yah!

696
00:37:56,540 --> 00:37:58,342
Why are you doing this to me?

697
00:37:58,342 --> 00:38:02,079
I'm the one that likes you.

698
00:38:02,079 --> 00:38:04,015
[whirring and spinning]

699
00:38:06,317 --> 00:38:07,285
[gun shot]

700
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,853
[whoosh]

701
00:38:10,588 --> 00:38:12,490
No billions of crabs, huh?

702
00:38:12,490 --> 00:38:15,259
Well how the freshwater
fuck was I supposed to know?

703
00:38:15,259 --> 00:38:16,794
Come on.

704
00:38:16,794 --> 00:38:19,864
Let's get out of here before
we're turned into crab food.

705
00:38:19,864 --> 00:38:22,833
[screaming]

706
00:38:26,237 --> 00:38:30,608
[muffled screaming]

707
00:38:30,608 --> 00:38:32,777
[muffled scream dies out]

708
00:38:33,577 --> 00:38:36,147
[muffled screaming]

709
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:39,150
[screaming]

710
00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:41,552
[muffled screaming]

711
00:38:41,552 --> 00:38:43,154
What's our next move?

712
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:44,121
You're asking me?

713
00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:45,189
You're the cop.

714
00:38:45,189 --> 00:38:46,524
Yeah, but you're
the crab expert.

715
00:38:46,524 --> 00:38:48,793
Newsflash, these are
not normal crabs.

716
00:38:48,793 --> 00:38:50,728
I know as much about
these things as you do.

717
00:38:50,728 --> 00:38:52,830
Well, then I guess we should
find out more about them now,

718
00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:53,531
shouldn't we?

719
00:38:53,531 --> 00:38:54,765
Well, I guess we should.

720
00:38:54,765 --> 00:38:55,933
Great, how do we go
about doing that?

721
00:38:55,933 --> 00:38:57,535
Well, if we had one
to study, that'd

722
00:38:57,535 --> 00:38:58,602
be a good place to start.

723
00:38:58,602 --> 00:39:01,839
That's a pretty good idea.

724
00:39:01,839 --> 00:39:03,407
OK, let's go.

725
00:39:03,407 --> 00:39:05,009
[marching band music]

726
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:07,978
[shuffling footsteps]

727
00:39:18,389 --> 00:39:20,558
[pops]

728
00:39:21,525 --> 00:39:23,294
[EDVARD GRIEG,
"PEER GYNT SUITE NO.

729
00:39:23,294 --> 00:41:47,171
1, IN THE HALL OF
THE MOUNTAIN KING"]

730
00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:49,773
[shuffling footsteps]

731
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,142
[ominous music]

732
00:41:52,142 --> 00:41:52,710
[inaudible]

733
00:41:52,710 --> 00:41:53,544
Get them off.

734
00:41:53,544 --> 00:41:54,278
Ah.

735
00:41:54,278 --> 00:41:56,180
Ah, ah, ah!

736
00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:57,481
[clatter]

737
00:41:57,481 --> 00:41:59,383
Ah, ah.

738
00:41:59,383 --> 00:42:01,285
Ah!

739
00:42:01,285 --> 00:42:02,786
Aye!

740
00:42:02,786 --> 00:42:07,958
Ah.

741
00:42:07,958 --> 00:42:08,926
[clatter]

742
00:42:08,926 --> 00:42:10,861
[whoosh]

743
00:42:11,395 --> 00:42:13,797
[clattering]

744
00:42:18,068 --> 00:42:20,471
The hell?

745
00:42:20,471 --> 00:42:22,006
[dramatic chords]

746
00:42:22,006 --> 00:42:23,774
Crabble weed.

747
00:42:23,774 --> 00:42:26,277
[old-timey piano chords]

748
00:42:27,011 --> 00:42:29,213
[clattering]

749
00:42:31,148 --> 00:42:32,716
[thud]

750
00:42:34,084 --> 00:42:36,487
Ah, ah!

751
00:42:36,487 --> 00:42:37,488
[splat]

752
00:42:37,488 --> 00:42:39,657
[screams]

753
00:42:43,627 --> 00:42:46,030
This is taking too long.

754
00:42:46,030 --> 00:42:46,697
This will work.

755
00:42:46,697 --> 00:42:47,965
Trust me.

756
00:42:47,965 --> 00:42:48,866
It better.

757
00:42:48,866 --> 00:42:51,802
I'm running out of patience.

758
00:42:51,802 --> 00:42:53,604
Ooh, ooh, I see one.

759
00:42:53,604 --> 00:42:55,172
[shuffling footsteps]

760
00:42:55,172 --> 00:42:57,308
Well, I still say there
were, oh, I don't know,

761
00:42:57,308 --> 00:43:01,378
several thousand easier ways
we could have gone about this.

762
00:43:01,378 --> 00:43:02,646
Possibly.

763
00:43:02,646 --> 00:43:04,815
But I've never built
one of these before.

764
00:43:04,815 --> 00:43:08,185
And it gave me the
perfect excuse.

765
00:43:08,185 --> 00:43:09,853
[shuffling footsteps]

766
00:43:09,853 --> 00:43:11,288
Well, I suppose I
do have to give you

767
00:43:11,288 --> 00:43:14,358
points on how quickly you
put this thing together.

768
00:43:14,358 --> 00:43:15,859
Why, thank you.

769
00:43:15,859 --> 00:43:19,096
I'm especially proud of the
bait that I came up with.

770
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:20,598
Speaking of which.

771
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:21,899
[shuffling footsteps]

772
00:43:21,899 --> 00:43:23,434
It's going for the bait.

773
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:24,034
Squee.

774
00:43:27,605 --> 00:43:30,341
Well, it's now or never.

775
00:43:30,341 --> 00:43:31,675
Here goes nothing.

776
00:43:31,675 --> 00:43:33,644
[banjo chord]

777
00:43:33,644 --> 00:43:36,213
[bluegrass music]

778
00:43:36,213 --> 00:43:38,782
[dominoes clattering]

779
00:43:39,216 --> 00:43:40,551
[clack]

780
00:43:40,551 --> 00:43:41,552
[scrape]

781
00:43:41,552 --> 00:43:43,721
[bouncing ball]

782
00:43:44,221 --> 00:43:45,122
[clatter]

783
00:43:45,122 --> 00:43:46,690
[splashing]

784
00:43:47,324 --> 00:43:48,058
[wood clattering]

785
00:43:48,058 --> 00:43:49,460
[thud]

786
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:50,294
[smack]

787
00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:51,528
Hey!

788
00:43:51,528 --> 00:43:53,130
[thud]

789
00:43:53,130 --> 00:43:55,733
[rolling]

790
00:43:58,502 --> 00:44:01,105
[piano music]

791
00:44:01,905 --> 00:44:04,708
[bluegrass music]

792
00:44:07,511 --> 00:44:09,513
[clatter]

793
00:44:09,513 --> 00:44:11,115
[rustling]

794
00:44:11,115 --> 00:44:13,083
[cage rattles]

795
00:44:13,884 --> 00:44:16,453
Are you fucking kidding me?

796
00:44:16,453 --> 00:44:18,522
Oops.

797
00:44:18,522 --> 00:44:21,091
Oops my ass.

798
00:44:21,091 --> 00:44:22,493
[gun shot]

799
00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:24,695
[pew]

800
00:44:29,466 --> 00:44:31,402
OK, now what?

801
00:44:31,402 --> 00:44:32,503
What do you mean, now what?

802
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:33,704
Slice it open.

803
00:44:33,704 --> 00:44:34,605
Me?

804
00:44:34,605 --> 00:44:36,373
You're the crab expert.

805
00:44:36,373 --> 00:44:37,941
And you're the detective.

806
00:44:37,941 --> 00:44:40,177
You're the one who deals with
crimes and labs and cadavers

807
00:44:40,177 --> 00:44:41,378
and things.

808
00:44:41,378 --> 00:44:43,514
Where the hell do you
think I work, Red Lobster?

809
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:46,917
OK, fine, I see more than
my fair share of stiffs.

810
00:44:46,917 --> 00:44:49,820
But, A, I don't cut
any of them open.

811
00:44:49,820 --> 00:44:53,257
And, B, they're all human,
not to mention the fact

812
00:44:53,257 --> 00:44:58,162
that I am highly
allergic to these things.

813
00:44:58,162 --> 00:45:01,198
(WHINING) But I don't
want to cut a crab.

814
00:45:01,198 --> 00:45:01,899
It's already dead.

815
00:45:01,899 --> 00:45:04,334
It won't feel a thing.

816
00:45:04,334 --> 00:45:06,003
Fine, I'll do it.

817
00:45:10,074 --> 00:45:13,143
And what, pray tell, do you
expect me to open this up with?

818
00:45:17,648 --> 00:45:19,583
[click]

819
00:45:19,583 --> 00:45:20,651
Is that a switchblade?

820
00:45:20,651 --> 00:45:22,186
Those things are illegal.

821
00:45:22,186 --> 00:45:23,020
Sure are.

822
00:45:23,020 --> 00:45:25,222
What are you doing with that?

823
00:45:25,222 --> 00:45:26,457
Handing it to you.

824
00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:27,458
No way.

825
00:45:27,458 --> 00:45:28,459
What if the police find out?

826
00:45:31,628 --> 00:45:32,229
Ugh.

827
00:45:38,435 --> 00:45:39,770
[fart]

828
00:45:39,770 --> 00:45:42,706
Ew, it pootered.

829
00:45:42,706 --> 00:45:44,775
Did you say "pootered"?

830
00:45:44,775 --> 00:45:46,643
[sniffing] Oh.

831
00:45:46,643 --> 00:45:47,277
Ugh.

832
00:45:47,277 --> 00:45:49,079
Ow.

833
00:45:49,079 --> 00:45:51,915
That is the absolute
lowest of low tides.

834
00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:53,517
I think I'm going to barf.

835
00:45:53,517 --> 00:45:55,886
[sniffs] All right, all
right, pull it together.

836
00:45:55,886 --> 00:45:57,087
[inhales]

837
00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:58,088
All right, we have
to find out what's

838
00:45:58,088 --> 00:45:59,389
going on with these things.

839
00:45:59,389 --> 00:46:00,958
[soft groan]

840
00:46:03,694 --> 00:46:05,262
[squelch]

841
00:46:09,366 --> 00:46:11,168
I don't think crabs
are supposed to be

842
00:46:11,168 --> 00:46:13,771
filled with that much goo.

843
00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:16,140
I suspect you're right.

844
00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:18,842
What's that underneath it?

845
00:46:18,842 --> 00:46:20,778
All I see is goo.

846
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:24,715
Well, goo and a bullet.

847
00:46:24,715 --> 00:46:27,151
Check underneath it.

848
00:46:27,151 --> 00:46:27,918
Go on.

849
00:46:33,891 --> 00:46:35,926
Well, that's even weirder.

850
00:46:35,926 --> 00:46:39,797
We go from a wet
goo to a dry powder.

851
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,231
Wait, how does a
powder like that

852
00:46:41,231 --> 00:46:44,501
stay dry inside the
middle of a crab?

853
00:46:44,501 --> 00:46:45,536
Let me see that knife.

854
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:55,345
How in the hell did that
stay unprocessed inside

855
00:46:55,345 --> 00:46:57,414
of that crab?

856
00:46:57,414 --> 00:46:59,249
What is it?

857
00:46:59,249 --> 00:47:00,417
Coke.

858
00:47:00,417 --> 00:47:01,919
Cocaine?

859
00:47:01,919 --> 00:47:04,154
Are you positive?

860
00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:07,491
I've seen enough cocaine to sink
two battleships and a circus

861
00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:08,258
freak.

862
00:47:08,258 --> 00:47:09,593
I am positive.

863
00:47:09,593 --> 00:47:11,728
Well, do you think that's what's
making all these crabs act

864
00:47:11,728 --> 00:47:13,163
this way?

865
00:47:13,163 --> 00:47:15,766
Well, I've seen what too
much of it can do to humans,

866
00:47:15,766 --> 00:47:17,835
so I wouldn't rule it out.

867
00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,303
Great.

868
00:47:19,303 --> 00:47:23,607
So now we know they're
junkies, how does that help us?

869
00:47:23,607 --> 00:47:24,975
Wait a minute.

870
00:47:24,975 --> 00:47:27,444
The first crab murder scene--

871
00:47:27,444 --> 00:47:33,283
there were signs of cocaine
but no actual cocaine there.

872
00:47:33,283 --> 00:47:34,384
Come on.

873
00:47:34,384 --> 00:47:35,886
I want to check out
that frat house again.

874
00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:37,921
But first, we need
to make a quick stop.

875
00:47:41,491 --> 00:47:42,793
(ON RADIO) Hey, folks.

876
00:47:42,793 --> 00:47:44,895
I don't know if things out
there are as bizarre for you

877
00:47:44,895 --> 00:47:46,496
as they are for me.

878
00:47:46,496 --> 00:47:49,733
But this building is surrounded
by some aggressively gnarly sea

879
00:47:49,733 --> 00:47:51,201
life.

880
00:47:51,201 --> 00:47:53,103
And judging by the sheer
mayhem these things are causing

881
00:47:53,103 --> 00:47:56,139
in the streets, I'm going
to remain right here,

882
00:47:56,139 --> 00:47:57,808
bunkered up in my
crab-free booth,

883
00:47:57,808 --> 00:48:01,745
ready to relay any developing
news that I happen to hear.

884
00:48:01,745 --> 00:48:04,248
[gun shots]

885
00:48:05,949 --> 00:48:07,751
(FROM BEHIND THE
DOOR) DJ Cow Spank?

886
00:48:07,751 --> 00:48:09,319
I'm Detective Charlie Reese.

887
00:48:09,319 --> 00:48:12,356
Listen, we need to borrow
your airwaves for a bit.

888
00:48:18,862 --> 00:48:21,465
Like, how do I know you're not
a crab trying to get in here?

889
00:48:21,465 --> 00:48:23,767
(FROM BEHIND THE DOOR) Are
you frickin' kidding me?

890
00:48:23,767 --> 00:48:25,936
Do I sound like a crab to you?

891
00:48:25,936 --> 00:48:26,837
I don't know.

892
00:48:26,837 --> 00:48:27,971
I've been fooled before.

893
00:48:27,971 --> 00:48:29,306
(FROM BEHIND THE
DOOR) Fine, ask me

894
00:48:29,306 --> 00:48:31,375
something a crab wouldn't know.

895
00:48:31,375 --> 00:48:34,444
OK, how many floors are in
the Empire State Building?

896
00:48:34,444 --> 00:48:36,680
(FROM BEHIND THE DOOR) How
the fuck should I know that?

897
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,983
Now, see, that's something
a crab would say.

898
00:48:39,983 --> 00:48:42,653
(FROM BEHIND THE DOOR)
Dammit, open the door.

899
00:48:42,653 --> 00:48:44,154
[click]

900
00:48:44,888 --> 00:48:46,623
Hi, there.

901
00:48:46,623 --> 00:48:48,959
Big fan.

902
00:48:48,959 --> 00:48:50,227
Hey, there, listeners.

903
00:48:50,227 --> 00:48:52,729
This is DJ Cow Spank
with you once again.

904
00:48:52,729 --> 00:48:53,430
[smack]

905
00:48:53,430 --> 00:48:54,798
[moo]

906
00:48:54,798 --> 00:48:57,834
I have in the studio with me
at this time Detective Charlie

907
00:48:57,834 --> 00:48:59,303
Reese.

908
00:48:59,303 --> 00:49:01,672
And he's got an update
regarding the crab situation.

909
00:49:01,672 --> 00:49:04,675
Take it away, Detective.

910
00:49:04,675 --> 00:49:06,310
Hi, everyone.

911
00:49:06,310 --> 00:49:11,315
I know things are crazy right
now, and in many cases, deadly.

912
00:49:11,315 --> 00:49:13,984
But I want you to know
that we're doing everything

913
00:49:13,984 --> 00:49:15,719
we can to contain this.

914
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:18,755
Now, I don't know the whole
story on these things yet.

915
00:49:18,755 --> 00:49:21,858
But I do know that they're
hopped up on cocaine,

916
00:49:21,858 --> 00:49:23,393
and they crave it madly.

917
00:49:23,393 --> 00:49:26,163
While it seems that
they will attack just

918
00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:28,532
about anything
and everything, it

919
00:49:28,532 --> 00:49:31,835
seems that they are especially
prone to attack anything

920
00:49:31,835 --> 00:49:33,870
that they think
might be cocaine.

921
00:49:33,870 --> 00:49:35,339
[screaming]

922
00:49:35,339 --> 00:49:37,674
(ON RADIO) This means anything
white, powdery, or both.

923
00:49:40,711 --> 00:49:43,146
It's about time we caught
a break around here.

924
00:49:43,146 --> 00:49:44,481
Hey, that's what I'm saying.

925
00:49:47,117 --> 00:49:51,088
So please stay indoors,
and stay away from anything

926
00:49:51,088 --> 00:49:53,590
they might think is cocaine.

927
00:49:53,590 --> 00:49:54,925
Thank you.

928
00:49:54,925 --> 00:49:57,127
All right, folks,
you heard the man.

929
00:49:57,127 --> 00:50:00,530
Stay indoors, and
stay away from coke.

930
00:50:00,530 --> 00:50:03,667
Whoa, it's like living my
1980s childhood latchkey

931
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:05,635
days all over again.

932
00:50:05,635 --> 00:50:08,005
[ominous music]

933
00:50:08,005 --> 00:50:10,173
[pen on paper]

934
00:50:10,707 --> 00:50:12,142
[door shuts]

935
00:50:13,910 --> 00:50:16,313
[shuffling footsteps]

936
00:50:16,313 --> 00:50:19,750
Yo, I ain't got no more coke.

937
00:50:19,750 --> 00:50:22,319
[brisk music]

938
00:50:23,487 --> 00:50:25,856
Look, I had to start
moving Beanie Babies

939
00:50:25,856 --> 00:50:27,424
just to pay the
rent on this place.

940
00:50:31,228 --> 00:50:36,733
Hey, I told you, I got no coke.

941
00:50:36,733 --> 00:50:39,269
[shuffling footsteps]

942
00:50:42,005 --> 00:50:44,541
Fuck me running.

943
00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:46,510
[scraping]

944
00:50:46,510 --> 00:50:49,112
[screaming]

945
00:50:53,283 --> 00:50:55,652
So what are we
looking for again?

946
00:50:55,652 --> 00:50:59,389
This is the scene of the first
murders committed by the crabs.

947
00:50:59,389 --> 00:51:00,357
Really?

948
00:51:00,357 --> 00:51:01,591
Here?

949
00:51:01,591 --> 00:51:03,660
Yeah, a couple of frat boys
bit it in the backyard.

950
00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:06,196
And we all know where
they went from here.

951
00:51:06,196 --> 00:51:08,098
[scoffs] Yeah, everywhere.

952
00:51:08,098 --> 00:51:10,867
But what I want to know
is, where were they

953
00:51:10,867 --> 00:51:12,235
before they got here?

954
00:51:14,871 --> 00:51:17,207
Well, OK.

955
00:51:17,207 --> 00:51:20,444
If this is the first time
the crabs killed anyone,

956
00:51:20,444 --> 00:51:24,081
and we now know that
they're full of cocaine,

957
00:51:24,081 --> 00:51:26,283
and you said that there
were signs of cocaine,

958
00:51:26,283 --> 00:51:30,854
but no actual cocaine was
found here because presumably

959
00:51:30,854 --> 00:51:33,023
the crabs snorted it all.

960
00:51:33,023 --> 00:51:38,161
So if they first killed here
and they first took coke here,

961
00:51:38,161 --> 00:51:40,030
that means when
they got here, they

962
00:51:40,030 --> 00:51:41,698
weren't super coked
out of their minds

963
00:51:41,698 --> 00:51:44,501
and probably weren't leaping
all over the place, which

964
00:51:44,501 --> 00:51:47,938
has them crawling on the
ground when they got here.

965
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:51,441
Now, they're not fast enough
to cross any major streets

966
00:51:51,441 --> 00:51:53,643
without getting run over.

967
00:51:53,643 --> 00:51:56,379
And they'd likely be seen,
even on one of these side

968
00:51:56,379 --> 00:52:00,717
streets, which tells me that
wherever they came from,

969
00:52:00,717 --> 00:52:03,620
they didn't get out in the open
too far away from this house.

970
00:52:03,620 --> 00:52:06,490
They either had to
have cover, or they

971
00:52:06,490 --> 00:52:09,759
were in a place with
no foot traffic.

972
00:52:09,759 --> 00:52:11,328
[thud]

973
00:52:18,935 --> 00:52:20,904
[claps]

974
00:52:22,839 --> 00:52:25,208
Excellent detective work.

975
00:52:25,208 --> 00:52:27,711
You get a sucker.

976
00:52:27,711 --> 00:52:28,678
Fucking score.

977
00:52:31,381 --> 00:52:34,417
So do you always keep giant
lollipops in your pocket?

978
00:52:34,417 --> 00:52:36,820
Because that was
pretty left field.

979
00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:39,823
Actually, I always try to
keep some form of sweets on me

980
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:42,025
whenever I'm on the job.

981
00:52:42,025 --> 00:52:43,493
Well, that sounds weird.

982
00:52:43,493 --> 00:52:46,163
Some of the scenes I arrive
at can be pretty hairy.

983
00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:48,632
And unfortunately, kids
aren't exempt from them.

984
00:52:48,632 --> 00:52:50,433
So I like to keep a
little something on me

985
00:52:50,433 --> 00:52:52,602
to help with their nerves.

986
00:52:52,602 --> 00:52:57,007
Aw, that's the nicest thing
I've ever heard you say.

987
00:52:57,007 --> 00:53:00,243
Oh, but now I'm sad.

988
00:53:00,243 --> 00:53:03,880
You gave me sad candy.

989
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:04,481
Yeet.

990
00:53:09,553 --> 00:53:14,891
You have absolutely got
to be fucking kidding me.

991
00:53:14,891 --> 00:53:15,492
What's up?

992
00:53:18,261 --> 00:53:21,765
[gasps] Is that
what I think it is?

993
00:53:21,765 --> 00:53:24,668
Not going to have a
billion babies, huh?

994
00:53:24,668 --> 00:53:25,802
What?

995
00:53:25,802 --> 00:53:27,337
You said these things
weren't going to mate

996
00:53:27,337 --> 00:53:29,172
and have a billion babies.

997
00:53:29,172 --> 00:53:30,774
So?

998
00:53:30,774 --> 00:53:34,277
So there's no away they all flew
to Earth fitting in that thing.

999
00:53:34,277 --> 00:53:37,614
Well, evidently,
these are space crabs.

1000
00:53:37,614 --> 00:53:40,884
How the frick was
I supposed to know?

1001
00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:43,286
[scoffs] Come on.

1002
00:53:43,286 --> 00:53:45,889
[footsteps in grass]

1003
00:53:48,291 --> 00:53:51,194
Oh, look, it's shaped
like a little crab--

1004
00:53:51,194 --> 00:53:52,829
how cute.

1005
00:53:52,829 --> 00:53:53,530
[baby babbling]

1006
00:53:53,530 --> 00:53:54,364
[smack]

1007
00:53:54,364 --> 00:53:57,033
Don't touch it.

1008
00:53:57,033 --> 00:53:58,768
But it's adorable.

1009
00:53:58,768 --> 00:54:00,103
Just don't touch it.

1010
00:54:00,103 --> 00:54:04,241
We should find a stick or
something to poke it with.

1011
00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:05,075
[zap]

1012
00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:06,910
Ow, fuck butter.

1013
00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:10,680
I told you we should
have found a stick.

1014
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:11,881
Wait a minute.

1015
00:54:11,881 --> 00:54:14,551
If they multiply, that
means this is ground zero.

1016
00:54:14,551 --> 00:54:16,419
And there's a mom and
dad crab out there

1017
00:54:16,419 --> 00:54:18,054
somewhere right now, right?

1018
00:54:18,054 --> 00:54:20,724
I think we've proven that
nothing about these crabs is

1019
00:54:20,724 --> 00:54:22,092
a gimme anymore.

1020
00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:25,195
True, but that would be the
case under normal circumstances,

1021
00:54:25,195 --> 00:54:26,529
right?

1022
00:54:26,529 --> 00:54:28,531
You think there's a mom
and dad crab out there

1023
00:54:28,531 --> 00:54:30,567
who are responsible
for the first killing?

1024
00:54:30,567 --> 00:54:33,036
I sure as shit burger do.

1025
00:54:33,036 --> 00:54:34,104
Shit burger?

1026
00:54:34,104 --> 00:54:36,072
We have to find those two.

1027
00:54:36,072 --> 00:54:40,010
OK, I'm a space crab who's
killer alien coke babies have

1028
00:54:40,010 --> 00:54:41,144
spread all over.

1029
00:54:41,144 --> 00:54:42,646
What do I do?

1030
00:54:42,646 --> 00:54:44,781
Probably to find
your kids some more

1031
00:54:44,781 --> 00:54:48,752
cocaine, which doesn't exactly
make you mother of the year.

1032
00:54:48,752 --> 00:54:50,220
I think you're right, though.

1033
00:54:50,220 --> 00:54:51,888
So we get our
hands on some coke,

1034
00:54:51,888 --> 00:54:54,791
and we lure the two parent
crabs out of hiding.

1035
00:54:54,791 --> 00:54:56,726
If there's even
any cocaine left.

1036
00:54:56,726 --> 00:54:59,429
For all we know, the
crabs snorted it all up.

1037
00:54:59,429 --> 00:55:01,665
I could check
evidence locker at HQ.

1038
00:55:01,665 --> 00:55:04,401
It's no guarantee, but it's
our best shot right now.

1039
00:55:04,401 --> 00:55:05,969
Police headquarters?

1040
00:55:05,969 --> 00:55:08,571
But that's right smack dab in
the middle of crab central.

1041
00:55:08,571 --> 00:55:09,973
It's too dangerous.

1042
00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:12,609
Which is why I'm leaving
you here until I get back.

1043
00:55:12,609 --> 00:55:14,978
OK, no arguments from me.

1044
00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:16,313
Just be safe, OK?

1045
00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:21,885
[FOOTSTEPS IN GRASS WALKING
AWAY]

1046
00:55:31,728 --> 00:55:32,395
[zap]

1047
00:55:32,395 --> 00:55:34,364
Ow, shit burger.

1048
00:55:34,364 --> 00:55:35,965
[sirens wailing]

1049
00:55:35,965 --> 00:55:37,967
[semi-automatic gun fire]

1050
00:55:42,339 --> 00:55:44,507
[whack]

1051
00:55:48,311 --> 00:55:50,480
[whack]

1052
00:56:00,857 --> 00:56:01,691
Any luck?

1053
00:56:01,691 --> 00:56:02,392
No.

1054
00:56:02,392 --> 00:56:03,593
Evidence was trashed.

1055
00:56:03,593 --> 00:56:08,264
But I did get the
next best thing.

1056
00:56:08,264 --> 00:56:09,866
This is bullshit.

1057
00:56:09,866 --> 00:56:12,802
You never said you were going
to drive me out to the boonies.

1058
00:56:12,802 --> 00:56:14,337
I don't say a lot of things.

1059
00:56:14,337 --> 00:56:15,638
Now, come on out of there.

1060
00:56:18,975 --> 00:56:19,809
Who's this guy?

1061
00:56:19,809 --> 00:56:21,745
Alex, this is the cocaine king.

1062
00:56:21,745 --> 00:56:24,247
Your majesty, this is Alex.

1063
00:56:24,247 --> 00:56:27,150
I don't give two rat farts and
a bowling trophy who she is.

1064
00:56:27,150 --> 00:56:30,820
I'm only here because you said
something about letting me go.

1065
00:56:30,820 --> 00:56:31,621
I did.

1066
00:56:31,621 --> 00:56:35,625
That is, if you help us out.

1067
00:56:35,625 --> 00:56:38,027
What do you need?

1068
00:56:38,027 --> 00:56:42,565
Guy calls himself the cocaine
king and asks me what I need.

1069
00:56:42,565 --> 00:56:46,035
I need cocaine, you idiot.

1070
00:56:46,035 --> 00:56:49,005
All right, I mean, you just
don't seem like the type.

1071
00:56:49,005 --> 00:56:50,640
But, hey, that's
none of my business.

1072
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,942
It's not for me, you
powder-pushing moron.

1073
00:56:52,942 --> 00:56:55,845
These crabs crave it like
Joanie craves Chachi.

1074
00:56:55,845 --> 00:56:58,848
And I'm going to get some
and use it to lure them out.

1075
00:56:58,848 --> 00:57:01,885
Now, I know you know where
we can find some coke.

1076
00:57:01,885 --> 00:57:04,788
So you better start talking
fast before I find a crab

1077
00:57:04,788 --> 00:57:06,890
hill to stake you out on.

1078
00:57:06,890 --> 00:57:07,991
Very well.

1079
00:57:07,991 --> 00:57:11,428
But let it be known that
I, the cocaine king,

1080
00:57:11,428 --> 00:57:15,432
am the only criminal to ever
use cocaine to get out of jail.

1081
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,901
[maniacal laughter]

1082
00:57:25,041 --> 00:57:27,911
Now, get these cuffs off me,
and bring me my cape and crown.

1083
00:57:32,015 --> 00:57:33,950
[metallic rattling]

1084
00:57:34,884 --> 00:57:36,820
[sighs]

1085
00:57:46,229 --> 00:57:46,830
Ho.

1086
00:57:50,166 --> 00:57:52,135
[shaky breath]

1087
00:57:54,504 --> 00:57:56,239
[shuddered breath]

1088
00:58:02,545 --> 00:58:05,114
[plastic rustling]

1089
00:58:10,053 --> 00:58:11,888
Well, I'll be darn.

1090
00:58:11,888 --> 00:58:16,392
As you can see, I am never
far from my [kiss] precious

1091
00:58:16,392 --> 00:58:17,727
cocaine.

1092
00:58:17,727 --> 00:58:20,396
Now, I have held up
my end of the bargain.

1093
00:58:20,396 --> 00:58:22,098
Are you going to hold up yours?

1094
00:58:25,568 --> 00:58:28,137
You are free to go.

1095
00:58:28,137 --> 00:58:29,606
Come on, Alex.

1096
00:58:29,606 --> 00:58:32,175
[FOOTSTEPS IN GRASS WALKING
AWAY]

1097
00:58:33,176 --> 00:58:34,544
[car doors open and close]

1098
00:58:34,544 --> 00:58:36,713
[car engine starts]

1099
00:58:38,114 --> 00:58:40,683
[car drives away]

1100
00:58:47,390 --> 00:58:49,959
[inhales deeply]

1101
00:58:58,268 --> 00:59:00,069
[wordless singing]

1102
00:59:15,685 --> 00:59:19,923
(ALL) Hello, Mr. King.

1103
00:59:19,923 --> 00:59:21,591
It's not bad to be the king.

1104
00:59:23,860 --> 00:59:25,461
Well, it doesn't
look like the crab

1105
00:59:25,461 --> 00:59:28,464
situation has changed much.

1106
00:59:28,464 --> 00:59:30,166
I don't see any people, though.

1107
00:59:30,166 --> 00:59:33,303
Do you think they got your
message to stay inside?

1108
00:59:33,303 --> 00:59:36,539
Or do you think they've
all been killed off?

1109
00:59:36,539 --> 00:59:37,674
I'm hoping the former.

1110
00:59:41,311 --> 00:59:48,184
Jeez, it's like crabageddon,
or a crabalanche.

1111
00:59:48,184 --> 00:59:51,154
No, wait, crab-splosion.

1112
00:59:51,154 --> 00:59:53,022
Alex, focus.

1113
00:59:53,022 --> 00:59:54,557
Right, sorry.

1114
00:59:54,557 --> 00:59:57,794
OK, we've got a big bag of
the one thing that they want.

1115
00:59:57,794 --> 01:00:00,363
And we need to use it to
find the two original crabs.

1116
01:00:00,363 --> 01:00:03,566
Well, we're not even sure if
the two first crabs are even

1117
01:00:03,566 --> 01:00:04,901
in the area.

1118
01:00:04,901 --> 01:00:06,235
So we're going to have
to cover a lot of ground

1119
01:00:06,235 --> 01:00:08,037
with what we've got.

1120
01:00:08,037 --> 01:00:13,943
What if we crop-dusted it,
like with a drone or something?

1121
01:00:13,943 --> 01:00:16,446
Do you have access to a drone?

1122
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:17,747
No.

1123
01:00:17,747 --> 01:00:20,183
Do you know how to fly a drone?

1124
01:00:20,183 --> 01:00:21,284
No.

1125
01:00:21,284 --> 01:00:22,952
If you did, would you
know how to perform

1126
01:00:22,952 --> 01:00:26,656
a timed release of a powdered
substance from a drone?

1127
01:00:26,656 --> 01:00:27,557
No.

1128
01:00:27,557 --> 01:00:29,525
Then that's probably a--

1129
01:00:29,525 --> 01:00:32,028
A bad idea, right.

1130
01:00:32,028 --> 01:00:34,330
Gotcha.

1131
01:00:34,330 --> 01:00:36,332
What if we dusted it ourselves?

1132
01:00:36,332 --> 01:00:38,668
You mean go over there in
the middle of all that?

1133
01:00:38,668 --> 01:00:39,936
They'd tear us to shreds.

1134
01:00:42,205 --> 01:00:45,074
Not if they think
we're one of them.

1135
01:00:45,074 --> 01:00:46,275
One of them?

1136
01:00:46,275 --> 01:00:47,777
Why in the heck would
they think we're one of--

1137
01:00:50,279 --> 01:00:52,882
This is stupid, and
we're both going to die.

1138
01:00:52,882 --> 01:00:55,752
Shh, just think crab thoughts.

1139
01:00:55,752 --> 01:00:57,887
And keep sprinkling cocaine
all over the ground.

1140
01:00:57,887 --> 01:01:00,323
You sound like the world's
worst guidance counselor.

1141
01:01:00,323 --> 01:01:03,292
Hey, I didn't hear you come
up with any better ideas.

1142
01:01:03,292 --> 01:01:05,228
That's because there
weren't any better ideas.

1143
01:01:05,228 --> 01:01:07,864
But that doesn't mean
that this is a good one.

1144
01:01:07,864 --> 01:01:10,733
Why do you have
these things anyway?

1145
01:01:10,733 --> 01:01:12,935
This is me we're
talking about here.

1146
01:01:12,935 --> 01:01:14,804
I mean, OK, I get that.

1147
01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:16,773
But why two of them?

1148
01:01:16,773 --> 01:01:18,908
It's an emergency backup, duh.

1149
01:01:22,311 --> 01:01:24,881
[shuffling footsteps]

1150
01:01:25,515 --> 01:01:26,249
Moment of truth.

1151
01:01:28,851 --> 01:01:31,354
[shuffling footsteps]

1152
01:01:32,255 --> 01:01:32,388
(SOFTLY) It's working.

1153
01:01:35,391 --> 01:01:37,994
[shuffling footsteps]

1154
01:01:37,994 --> 01:01:39,529
Well, what do you know?

1155
01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:41,397
Hold the course, Miss Bailey.

1156
01:01:41,397 --> 01:01:44,867
We've got some coke-snorting
space crabs to wrangle.

1157
01:01:44,867 --> 01:01:48,071
[bluegrass music]

1158
01:02:19,669 --> 01:02:22,071
[shuffling footsteps]

1159
01:02:22,071 --> 01:02:24,741
(QUIETLY) Reese, Reese, look.

1160
01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:26,909
[shuffling footsteps]

1161
01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:28,511
Those the mom and dad crabs?

1162
01:02:28,511 --> 01:02:31,948
Well, they're a different color
and about four times the size.

1163
01:02:31,948 --> 01:02:32,982
Good enough for me.

1164
01:02:32,982 --> 01:02:34,016
Lucky thing, too.

1165
01:02:34,016 --> 01:02:35,752
I just ran out of cocaine.

1166
01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:36,719
Ran out?

1167
01:02:36,719 --> 01:02:37,887
You can't run out.

1168
01:02:37,887 --> 01:02:38,821
Well, why not?

1169
01:02:38,821 --> 01:02:40,423
Because I just ran out.

1170
01:02:40,423 --> 01:02:41,691
Oh, great.

1171
01:02:41,691 --> 01:02:42,692
Now what the hell are
we supposed to do?

1172
01:02:42,692 --> 01:02:44,026
What are you asking me for?

1173
01:02:44,026 --> 01:02:45,595
You're the one who said
we needed to find them.

1174
01:02:45,595 --> 01:02:47,930
Well, I didn't hear you put
up any argument to that idea.

1175
01:02:47,930 --> 01:02:49,999
I thought you had a plan
for when we found them.

1176
01:02:49,999 --> 01:02:51,501
Well, I could say
the same for you.

1177
01:02:51,501 --> 01:02:53,770
You're the one who put us in
the middle of all of them.

1178
01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:55,304
Yeah, that's because I
thought you had a plan.

1179
01:02:55,304 --> 01:02:57,340
Yeah, the plan was to
find the first two crabs.

1180
01:02:57,340 --> 01:03:00,209
Well, mission
accomplished, Detective.

1181
01:03:05,748 --> 01:03:06,649
Uh-oh.

1182
01:03:06,649 --> 01:03:08,217
[suspenseful music]

1183
01:03:08,217 --> 01:03:10,119
Well, if I'm dying, I'm not
doing it in this stupid thing.

1184
01:03:12,655 --> 01:03:15,191
Ah.

1185
01:03:15,191 --> 01:03:16,192
[clatter]

1186
01:03:16,192 --> 01:03:17,193
Ah.

1187
01:03:17,193 --> 01:03:18,027
[clatter]

1188
01:03:18,027 --> 01:03:19,295
Well, there went my best idea.

1189
01:03:19,295 --> 01:03:20,830
What do we do?

1190
01:03:20,830 --> 01:03:22,498
We need to make a break for it.

1191
01:03:22,498 --> 01:03:23,966
I'll go first.

1192
01:03:23,966 --> 01:03:25,701
And no matter what happens
to me, just keep running.

1193
01:03:25,701 --> 01:03:26,769
Reese, no.

1194
01:03:26,769 --> 01:03:27,770
It's the only way.

1195
01:03:27,770 --> 01:03:28,604
Now get ready.

1196
01:03:28,604 --> 01:03:30,606
1, 2--

1197
01:03:30,606 --> 01:03:31,507
[whistle]

1198
01:03:31,507 --> 01:03:32,408
Ah!

1199
01:03:32,408 --> 01:03:33,309
[frenetic music]

1200
01:03:33,309 --> 01:03:34,243
[struggling]

1201
01:03:34,243 --> 01:03:35,311
Reese.

1202
01:03:35,311 --> 01:03:36,879
Ah!

1203
01:03:36,879 --> 01:03:38,347
[metallic clunk]

1204
01:03:39,248 --> 01:03:40,750
Reese!

1205
01:03:40,750 --> 01:03:42,351
[thud]

1206
01:03:45,321 --> 01:03:46,322
[frenetic music]

1207
01:03:46,322 --> 01:03:47,890
[whoosh]

1208
01:03:48,691 --> 01:03:50,293
[whoosh]

1209
01:03:51,260 --> 01:03:52,261
[whoosh]

1210
01:03:52,261 --> 01:03:53,396
[needle scratch]

1211
01:03:53,396 --> 01:03:58,835
I've had enough of this
bottom-feeding bullshit.

1212
01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:01,003
[splat]

1213
01:04:02,805 --> 01:04:04,774
Argh.

1214
01:04:04,774 --> 01:04:06,175
Ah!

1215
01:04:06,175 --> 01:04:08,344
[heavy metal rock music]

1216
01:04:09,045 --> 01:04:10,746
[shuffling footsteps]

1217
01:04:10,746 --> 01:04:11,714
Ah!

1218
01:04:11,714 --> 01:04:13,316
[splat]

1219
01:04:13,316 --> 01:04:14,317
Ah!

1220
01:04:14,317 --> 01:04:15,318
[crunch]

1221
01:04:15,318 --> 01:04:16,285
Ah!

1222
01:04:16,285 --> 01:04:17,687
[crunch]

1223
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:20,256
[clattering]

1224
01:04:22,258 --> 01:04:24,227
[clack]

1225
01:04:30,199 --> 01:04:31,167
Ah!

1226
01:04:31,167 --> 01:04:32,568
[crunch]

1227
01:04:33,169 --> 01:04:34,170
Ah!

1228
01:04:34,170 --> 01:04:35,605
[crunch]

1229
01:04:36,606 --> 01:04:37,607
[growls]

1230
01:04:37,607 --> 01:04:38,608
[chomp]

1231
01:04:38,608 --> 01:04:40,209
[growling]

1232
01:04:40,209 --> 01:04:41,577
[spits]

1233
01:04:41,577 --> 01:04:44,180
[crunching]

1234
01:04:46,949 --> 01:04:49,552
[slow-motion low growl]

1235
01:04:50,953 --> 01:04:53,122
[crunch]

1236
01:04:54,523 --> 01:04:57,126
[panting]

1237
01:04:57,827 --> 01:04:59,896
[shuffling footsteps]

1238
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:02,098
[clatter]

1239
01:05:02,899 --> 01:05:05,067
[smack]

1240
01:05:08,471 --> 01:05:09,872
[spits]

1241
01:05:09,872 --> 01:05:11,841
What the fuck is in this?

1242
01:05:11,841 --> 01:05:13,843
It's simple syrup.

1243
01:05:13,843 --> 01:05:15,077
What?

1244
01:05:15,077 --> 01:05:16,879
I'm a sugar hound.

1245
01:05:16,879 --> 01:05:19,048
[shuffling footsteps]

1246
01:05:19,815 --> 01:05:21,384
[thud]

1247
01:05:21,384 --> 01:05:22,885
Ugh.

1248
01:05:22,885 --> 01:05:25,054
[skateboard wheels]

1249
01:05:25,054 --> 01:05:27,623
Oh, rot knuckles.

1250
01:05:27,623 --> 01:05:29,158
Come on, they're getting away.

1251
01:05:32,228 --> 01:05:34,196
[frenetic rock music]

1252
01:05:34,196 --> 01:05:36,999
[skateboard wheels]

1253
01:05:58,587 --> 01:06:01,157
[music stops]

1254
01:06:02,992 --> 01:06:05,227
This is really weird.

1255
01:06:05,227 --> 01:06:06,829
Yep.

1256
01:06:06,829 --> 01:06:09,999
[frenetic rock music]

1257
01:06:23,279 --> 01:06:25,648
[whoosh]

1258
01:06:27,049 --> 01:06:29,218
[stomping]

1259
01:06:30,019 --> 01:06:32,588
[skateboard wheels]

1260
01:06:38,527 --> 01:06:39,929
[wind whooshing]

1261
01:06:39,929 --> 01:06:41,931
[clatter]

1262
01:06:41,931 --> 01:06:42,965
(BOTH) Gnarly.

1263
01:06:42,965 --> 01:06:43,866
Jinx.

1264
01:06:43,866 --> 01:06:46,335
[frenetic rock music]

1265
01:06:49,672 --> 01:06:50,673
[thud]

1266
01:06:50,673 --> 01:06:52,641
[music stops]

1267
01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:55,578
[shuffling footsteps]

1268
01:06:55,578 --> 01:06:57,947
[whoosh]

1269
01:06:57,947 --> 01:07:00,116
[shuffling footsteps]

1270
01:07:05,054 --> 01:07:06,889
Where'd they go?

1271
01:07:06,889 --> 01:07:07,990
I don't know.

1272
01:07:07,990 --> 01:07:10,726
[footsteps running in grass]

1273
01:07:10,726 --> 01:07:13,429
Look, I found the skateboard.

1274
01:07:13,429 --> 01:07:14,630
Look.

1275
01:07:14,630 --> 01:07:17,166
[shuffling footsteps]

1276
01:07:18,901 --> 01:07:20,269
[vacuum whirring]

1277
01:07:20,269 --> 01:07:21,837
[metal doors rumble]

1278
01:07:21,837 --> 01:07:23,406
[clank]

1279
01:07:26,142 --> 01:07:27,309
Careful in there.

1280
01:07:27,309 --> 01:07:30,613
Remember, these
things are killers.

1281
01:07:30,613 --> 01:07:33,015
[door rumbles]

1282
01:07:33,015 --> 01:07:36,218
[ominous music]

1283
01:07:56,372 --> 01:07:59,175
[shuffling footsteps]

1284
01:08:10,553 --> 01:08:13,556
[gun shot]

1285
01:08:15,958 --> 01:08:19,161
[ominous music]

1286
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:26,001
[shuffling footsteps]

1287
01:08:26,001 --> 01:08:26,902
Ah!

1288
01:08:26,902 --> 01:08:27,503
[shuffling footsteps]

1289
01:08:27,503 --> 01:08:28,571
Nyah!

1290
01:08:28,571 --> 01:08:30,806
Nuh.

1291
01:08:30,806 --> 01:08:32,006
[heavy metal rock music]

1292
01:08:32,006 --> 01:08:32,975
[grunts]

1293
01:08:32,975 --> 01:08:33,976
[thuds]

1294
01:08:33,976 --> 01:08:34,977
[crunch]

1295
01:08:34,977 --> 01:08:35,944
[shuddering]

1296
01:08:35,944 --> 01:08:38,514
[high-pitched hum]

1297
01:08:39,881 --> 01:08:42,451
[whooshes]

1298
01:08:43,252 --> 01:08:45,821
[shuffling footsteps]

1299
01:08:48,756 --> 01:08:49,758
[high-pitched hum stops]

1300
01:08:49,758 --> 01:08:51,727
[clatter]

1301
01:08:54,095 --> 01:08:55,464
[ominous music]

1302
01:08:55,464 --> 01:08:57,032
[shuffling footsteps]

1303
01:08:57,032 --> 01:08:58,300
[clicking]

1304
01:08:58,300 --> 01:09:00,002
I'm beginning to think
it was a bad idea

1305
01:09:00,002 --> 01:09:01,170
to follow them in here.

1306
01:09:01,170 --> 01:09:02,171
You and me both.

1307
01:09:02,171 --> 01:09:02,871
Come on.

1308
01:09:05,608 --> 01:09:06,642
Uh-oh.

1309
01:09:06,642 --> 01:09:08,309
What is it?

1310
01:09:08,309 --> 01:09:10,412
[shuffling footsteps]

1311
01:09:11,746 --> 01:09:12,982
Oh, fudge.

1312
01:09:12,982 --> 01:09:14,116
Yeah.

1313
01:09:14,116 --> 01:09:16,285
[door rumbles]

1314
01:09:19,054 --> 01:09:20,121
Reese?

1315
01:09:20,121 --> 01:09:22,124
[shuffling footsteps]

1316
01:09:22,124 --> 01:09:24,160
Go, go, go, go, go.

1317
01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:27,362
[ominous music]

1318
01:09:32,735 --> 01:09:33,536
Yah.

1319
01:09:33,536 --> 01:09:34,236
[thud]

1320
01:09:34,236 --> 01:09:35,703
[frenetic music]

1321
01:09:35,703 --> 01:09:36,639
[scraping]

1322
01:09:36,639 --> 01:09:38,073
Reese.

1323
01:09:38,073 --> 01:09:40,075
[scraping]

1324
01:09:40,075 --> 01:09:42,678
[clattering]

1325
01:09:55,457 --> 01:09:57,226
You fuckers like blow.

1326
01:09:57,226 --> 01:09:58,994
Well, blow this.

1327
01:09:58,994 --> 01:09:59,995
[motor sputters to life]

1328
01:09:59,995 --> 01:10:00,996
[whoop]

1329
01:10:00,996 --> 01:10:03,599
[spraying air]

1330
01:10:04,967 --> 01:10:06,969
[motor stops]

1331
01:10:08,337 --> 01:10:09,705
No, wait.

1332
01:10:09,705 --> 01:10:11,307
Look.

1333
01:10:11,307 --> 01:10:13,842
[shuffling footsteps]

1334
01:10:16,178 --> 01:10:17,746
[whistle]

1335
01:10:17,746 --> 01:10:19,682
[spraying air]

1336
01:10:22,384 --> 01:10:24,353
[shuffling footsteps]

1337
01:10:24,353 --> 01:10:27,121
Well, I'll be.

1338
01:10:27,121 --> 01:10:29,625
[frenetic music]

1339
01:10:30,826 --> 01:10:33,862
Do we have enough compressed
air for all of them?

1340
01:10:33,862 --> 01:10:35,464
Not even close.

1341
01:10:35,464 --> 01:10:38,234
[slow shuffling footsteps]

1342
01:10:41,036 --> 01:10:42,004
[shuffling footsteps]

1343
01:10:42,004 --> 01:10:44,373
[high-pitched hum]

1344
01:10:44,373 --> 01:10:46,976
[shuffling footsteps]

1345
01:10:47,943 --> 01:10:50,546
[explosion]

1346
01:10:52,314 --> 01:10:53,315
[shuffling footsteps]

1347
01:10:53,315 --> 01:10:56,485
[explosions]

1348
01:11:05,594 --> 01:11:08,163
[shuffling footsteps]

1349
01:11:08,163 --> 01:11:10,733
[explosion]

1350
01:11:12,134 --> 01:11:14,702
[shuffling footsteps]

1351
01:11:15,404 --> 01:11:17,673
[high-pitched hum stops]

1352
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:23,946
All right.

1353
01:11:23,946 --> 01:11:26,348
[shuffling footsteps]

1354
01:11:27,816 --> 01:11:31,954
We need to use these to
destroy the other crabs.

1355
01:11:31,954 --> 01:11:33,155
Agreed.

1356
01:11:33,155 --> 01:11:35,190
And I've got just
the place in mind.

1357
01:11:35,190 --> 01:11:35,858
Let's get--

1358
01:11:39,962 --> 01:11:40,829
Ha-ha.

1359
01:11:40,829 --> 01:11:41,697
[circus music]

1360
01:11:41,697 --> 01:11:43,499
I was right.

1361
01:11:43,499 --> 01:11:46,702
You motherfuckers all
thought I was crazy.

1362
01:11:46,702 --> 01:11:49,371
Well, now every one
of you bitch-ass cops

1363
01:11:49,371 --> 01:11:53,709
who made fun of me
can eat my entire ass.

1364
01:11:53,709 --> 01:11:55,878
(SING-SONG) I was fucking right.

1365
01:11:55,878 --> 01:11:57,379
I was fucking right.

1366
01:11:57,379 --> 01:11:59,581
You're all moronic bullies.

1367
01:11:59,581 --> 01:12:02,751
And you can suck
some clown shit.

1368
01:12:02,751 --> 01:12:03,452
Reese.

1369
01:12:03,452 --> 01:12:05,254
Reese, we have to go.

1370
01:12:05,254 --> 01:12:06,789
(SING-SONG) Take
your stupid badges,

1371
01:12:06,789 --> 01:12:10,959
and shove them up your asses.

1372
01:12:10,959 --> 01:12:12,460
Reese, come on.

1373
01:12:12,460 --> 01:12:16,965
Sniff a dead clown's butt,
you flat-footed bastards.

1374
01:12:16,965 --> 01:12:19,568
[dramatic music]

1375
01:12:22,971 --> 01:12:24,973
[high-pitched hum]

1376
01:12:25,674 --> 01:12:26,407
[shuffling footsteps]

1377
01:12:26,407 --> 01:12:28,544
[explosion]

1378
01:12:29,111 --> 01:12:31,547
[metal clatter]

1379
01:12:36,518 --> 01:12:37,553
DJ Cow Spank?

1380
01:12:37,553 --> 01:12:40,789
It's us again.

1381
01:12:40,789 --> 01:12:42,257
It's OK.

1382
01:12:42,257 --> 01:12:43,726
These are good crabs.

1383
01:12:43,726 --> 01:12:46,594
DJ Cow Spank, we're
going to need to borrow

1384
01:12:46,594 --> 01:12:48,697
your airwaves one more time.

1385
01:12:51,834 --> 01:12:54,236
Listen up all my faithful
listeners out there.

1386
01:12:54,236 --> 01:12:56,004
This is DJ Cow Spank--

1387
01:12:56,004 --> 01:12:56,438
[smack]

1388
01:12:56,438 --> 01:12:58,040
[moo]

1389
01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:00,776
--once again, back on the air
and broadcasting to you live.

1390
01:13:00,776 --> 01:13:02,344
I know it's a little
weird out there,

1391
01:13:02,344 --> 01:13:05,147
and it seems like the ocean
barfed up little demon critters

1392
01:13:05,147 --> 01:13:06,115
everywhere.

1393
01:13:06,115 --> 01:13:07,616
But I have some good news.

1394
01:13:07,616 --> 01:13:10,318
Back in the studio with me
are Detective Charlie Reese

1395
01:13:10,318 --> 01:13:11,587
and Alex Bailey.

1396
01:13:11,587 --> 01:13:13,489
And thanks to them,
we have a frequency

1397
01:13:13,489 --> 01:13:15,591
that will end this
crustaceous nightmare.

1398
01:13:15,591 --> 01:13:18,360
So whether you're here
in town or listening

1399
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:20,562
through your web feed,
crank your volume.

1400
01:13:20,562 --> 01:13:23,031
Plug your ears, and
get ready for one heck

1401
01:13:23,031 --> 01:13:24,299
of a crab-splosion.

1402
01:13:24,299 --> 01:13:26,402
[inhales] See?

1403
01:13:26,402 --> 01:13:28,704
I told you, crab-splosion.

1404
01:13:34,343 --> 01:13:36,344
[shuffling footsteps]

1405
01:13:36,344 --> 01:13:38,914
[high-pitched hum]

1406
01:13:44,887 --> 01:13:47,489
[explosions]

1407
01:14:00,235 --> 01:14:01,637
[screaming]

1408
01:14:01,637 --> 01:14:04,206
[thudding footsteps]

1409
01:14:16,151 --> 01:14:18,754
[high-pitched hum]

1410
01:14:20,155 --> 01:14:21,523
[shuffling footsteps]

1411
01:14:21,523 --> 01:14:22,523
[explosion]

1412
01:14:22,523 --> 01:14:24,726
[splats]

1413
01:14:26,128 --> 01:14:27,094
Oh.

1414
01:14:27,094 --> 01:14:29,898
[chuckles]

1415
01:14:36,171 --> 01:14:39,174
[clicking]

1416
01:14:47,549 --> 01:14:50,152
[dramatic music]

1417
01:14:59,094 --> 01:15:02,097
[whirring and clanking]

1418
01:15:03,499 --> 01:15:05,100
[clank]

1419
01:15:06,101 --> 01:15:08,070
[squeaking]

1420
01:15:08,570 --> 01:15:10,672
[ratchet]

1421
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:13,075
[glass breaking]

1422
01:15:14,076 --> 01:15:16,044
[thuds]

1423
01:15:16,545 --> 01:15:18,647
[whirring]

1424
01:15:20,449 --> 01:15:22,651
[metal clanking]

1425
01:15:23,452 --> 01:15:25,621
[electric whirring]

1426
01:15:27,422 --> 01:15:30,025
[pencil scribbling]

1427
01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:32,594
[drilling]

1428
01:15:33,795 --> 01:15:35,998
[electric spinning]

1429
01:15:56,885 --> 01:16:04,259
People of Earth, my name
is [clicking tongue]

1430
01:16:04,259 --> 01:16:06,827
from the planet Crabulon.

1431
01:16:06,827 --> 01:16:10,332
And this is my life mate, Susan.

1432
01:16:10,332 --> 01:16:13,101
We would like to thank all of
you for being so understanding

1433
01:16:13,101 --> 01:16:15,437
and for letting us speak
to you now, even after all

1434
01:16:15,437 --> 01:16:16,805
the damage that has been done.

1435
01:16:16,805 --> 01:16:20,742
For you see, we had no
idea what cocaine was

1436
01:16:20,742 --> 01:16:23,645
and that it would have such
a rampaging effect on us.

1437
01:16:23,645 --> 01:16:24,980
Or that it would
make me pump out

1438
01:16:24,980 --> 01:16:27,049
a billion coke-powered
murder babies, like I

1439
01:16:27,049 --> 01:16:29,851
was some sort of
nuclear-powered PEZ dispenser.

1440
01:16:29,851 --> 01:16:32,921
Yeah, we-- we're totally
sorry about that.

1441
01:16:32,921 --> 01:16:35,090
Mm-hmm, yeah, we're so sorry.

1442
01:16:35,090 --> 01:16:37,693
Also, it wasn't even
our idea to take

1443
01:16:37,693 --> 01:16:39,661
the cocaine in the first place.

1444
01:16:39,661 --> 01:16:41,163
It's true.

1445
01:16:41,163 --> 01:16:42,965
One of your earthling frat
boys shoved it in our faces.

1446
01:16:42,965 --> 01:16:43,966
So there.

1447
01:16:43,966 --> 01:16:46,068
Seriously, folks,
I speak firsthand

1448
01:16:46,068 --> 01:16:49,504
when I say that none of
you should ever do cocaine.

1449
01:16:49,504 --> 01:16:50,906
Yes.

1450
01:16:50,906 --> 01:16:52,641
Yes, that's right, no
matter how much housework

1451
01:16:52,641 --> 01:16:53,709
you may have to do.

1452
01:16:53,709 --> 01:16:55,577
It's dangerous stuff.

1453
01:16:55,577 --> 01:16:57,145
It sure is.

1454
01:16:57,145 --> 01:17:00,682
And we're also sorry for the
loss of life that the two of us

1455
01:17:00,682 --> 01:17:02,150
directly caused.

1456
01:17:02,150 --> 01:17:04,553
But one of them was a
classist yuppie piece of shit.

1457
01:17:04,553 --> 01:17:05,954
So there is that.

1458
01:17:05,954 --> 01:17:07,189
[murmurs of agreement]

1459
01:17:07,189 --> 01:17:08,056
[applause]

1460
01:17:08,056 --> 01:17:08,624
Yeah.

1461
01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:10,626
Nice.

1462
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:12,527
Thank you.

1463
01:17:12,527 --> 01:17:14,896
Also, we hold no
grudge towards you

1464
01:17:14,896 --> 01:17:17,633
or any of your people
for any of our offspring

1465
01:17:17,633 --> 01:17:19,534
that you may have destroyed.

1466
01:17:19,534 --> 01:17:20,802
Let's face it.

1467
01:17:20,802 --> 01:17:22,304
They were bloodthirsty
alien coke babies,

1468
01:17:22,304 --> 01:17:23,605
and they needed to die.

1469
01:17:23,605 --> 01:17:25,641
We'll take questions now.

1470
01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:26,608
[chatter]

1471
01:17:26,608 --> 01:17:27,541
Can you tell us anything?

1472
01:17:27,541 --> 01:17:28,677
What's the--

1473
01:17:28,677 --> 01:17:29,978
What's it like on
planet Crabulon?

1474
01:17:29,978 --> 01:17:31,580
Well, we finally got
a Cheesecake Factory,

1475
01:17:31,580 --> 01:17:33,514
so we're pretty
stoked about that.

1476
01:17:33,514 --> 01:17:35,550
Does your kind ever wear pants?

1477
01:17:35,550 --> 01:17:37,886
Only on casual Fridays.

1478
01:17:37,886 --> 01:17:41,757
What was it like to kill
millions of your own children?

1479
01:17:41,757 --> 01:17:42,624
It felt pretty good.

1480
01:17:42,624 --> 01:17:43,925
Next question.

1481
01:17:43,925 --> 01:17:46,662
Do you have any racists
on planet Crabulon?

1482
01:17:46,662 --> 01:17:49,698
No, we feed racists
to the elephant squid.

1483
01:17:49,698 --> 01:17:52,434
How much pinching
occurs on your planet?

1484
01:17:52,434 --> 01:17:54,002
Not as much as you'd think.

1485
01:17:54,002 --> 01:17:56,371
Why exactly did you come here?

1486
01:17:56,371 --> 01:17:59,341
[suspenseful music]

1487
01:18:09,418 --> 01:18:11,853
We've been trying to
reach you about your car's

1488
01:18:11,853 --> 01:18:12,987
extended warranty.

1489
01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:22,297
[bass guitar music]

1490
01:18:38,046 --> 01:18:41,249
[outer space bubbling]

1491
01:18:48,623 --> 01:18:51,226
[engine whining]

1492
01:18:53,195 --> 01:18:54,796
[skid]

1493
01:18:55,297 --> 01:18:57,799
[whirring]

1494
01:18:59,601 --> 01:19:01,770
[sliding]

1495
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:07,442
Boy, I sure hope they got
good meth on this planet.

1496
01:19:07,442 --> 01:19:10,145
Damn straight.

1497
01:19:10,145 --> 01:19:11,580
Yeah!

1498
01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:14,782
[heavy metal music]

1499
01:19:38,807 --> 01:19:41,409
[music stops]

1500
01:19:41,409 --> 01:19:44,379
[rock music]

1501
01:19:55,190 --> 01:19:58,894
(SINGING) Cocaine-snorting
crabs from outer space.

1502
01:19:58,894 --> 01:20:03,264
They've traveled so far
just to pinch your face.

1503
01:20:03,264 --> 01:20:06,701
Cocaine-snorting crabs
from outer space.

1504
01:20:06,701 --> 01:20:11,473
They want to eat you because
they like the way you taste.

1505
01:20:14,476 --> 01:20:18,413
And we think of space as
deep and dark and vast.

1506
01:20:18,413 --> 01:20:22,350
But their crab spaceship
found us really fast.

1507
01:20:22,350 --> 01:20:26,221
They've been traveling since
the day of their birth,

1508
01:20:26,221 --> 01:20:31,425
till they discovered
cocaine right here on Earth.

1509
01:20:34,296 --> 01:20:38,466
They liked it so much,
they decided to stay.

1510
01:20:38,466 --> 01:20:42,204
They killed everything
that got in their way.

1511
01:20:42,204 --> 01:20:46,241
They don't want
slaves or our dogs.

1512
01:20:46,241 --> 01:20:51,112
They want our cocaine
with a side of frogs.

1513
01:20:54,782 --> 01:20:58,486
Cocaine-snorting crabs
from outer space.

1514
01:20:58,486 --> 01:21:02,490
They've traveled so far
just to pinch your face.

1515
01:21:02,490 --> 01:21:06,327
Cocaine-snorting crabs
from outer space.

1516
01:21:06,327 --> 01:21:11,166
They want to eat you 'cause
they like the way you taste.

1517
01:21:14,369 --> 01:21:18,540
They didn't come here
to smoke our Mary Jane.

1518
01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:22,544
We never thought they'd
take all of our cocaine.

1519
01:21:22,544 --> 01:21:26,248
We've never seen an
invasion such as this.

1520
01:21:26,248 --> 01:21:31,085
We thought there'd be a sign,
thanks for all the fish.

1521
01:21:53,475 --> 01:21:57,913
Those cocaine-snorting
crabs from outer space.

1522
01:21:57,913 --> 01:22:01,983
They've traveled so far
just to pinch your face.

1523
01:22:01,983 --> 01:22:05,487
Cocaine-snorting crabs
from outer space.

1524
01:22:05,487 --> 01:22:10,558
They want to eat you 'cause
they like the way you taste.

1525
01:22:13,128 --> 01:22:16,798
So if you see a crab
scooting down the street,

1526
01:22:16,798 --> 01:22:21,202
and it wants to snort
cocaine off your dirty feet.

1527
01:22:21,202 --> 01:22:25,206
Just remember, they're
a visiting alien race,

1528
01:22:25,206 --> 01:22:30,111
those cocaine-snorting
crabs from outer space.

1529
01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:37,452
Cocaine-snorting crabs
from outer space.

1530
01:22:37,452 --> 01:22:41,523
They've traveled so far
just to eat your face.

1531
01:22:41,523 --> 01:22:45,260
Cocaine-snorting crabs
from outer space.

1532
01:22:45,260 --> 01:22:51,466
They want to eat you 'cause
they like the way you (ECHOING)

1533
01:22:51,466 --> 01:22:52,166
taste.

1534
01:23:12,520 --> 01:23:16,091
Yah, I'm a crab.