Today marks 30 years since the night that the
infamous Jack-O'-Lantern Killer allegedly perished in a fire.
As we look back on that fateful night, we at the station have elected to dedicate
this broadcast to making what we can of this unclosed case.
Unlike most of these killers, his history is largely reliant on myth, as he was never caught.
So, what could have possibly motivated this kind of evil?
Was he born that way, or...
...was he a product?
Many theorized that he was rejected by the world.
Twisted by its cruelty.
Told that he didn't fit in...
...that he was an outcast.
That even his most desperate pleas for acceptance would be ignored.
And in that absence of love, perhaps evil was born.
And after all that torture...[inaudible]
We're just lucky that the world will never be haunted by the Jack-O'-Lantern Killer again.
How did you get in here?
The--the door was unlocked, sir.
Why are you here?
Didn't your parents ever teach you not to go into a stranger's house?
You--you're no stranger to me, sir.
I've--I've studied people like you. The Atlanta Ripper, the Boston Strangler...
...the Miami Wrangler.
But you? You're the best.
You won't believe how long it took me to find you--
Shut up.
You're...you're The Jack-O'-Lantern Killer.
What?
Look at me! How could I possibly--
Who sent you? Are you with the FBI?
No, no, no, I swear I'm not with anyone!
I destroyed this!
It's the backup evidence!
I destroyed the backup evidence.
It's the backup evidence of the backup evidence!
F*ck.
So, you did this all by yourself?
Yes, sir. I--I kind of do everything myself.
Okay. Follow me.
My name's Daniel, by the way. What's yours?
Cool. So, uh, do you still do it?
No.
Well, how many people did you kill?
Not enough.
So, you and that girl in the picture, who was she?
Kid.
You ask a lot of questions.
If you're gonna ask questions, ask the ones that matter.
Why did I kill all those people?
Why did I wear the mask?
What does it all mean?
I just thought you needed something to hide your face.
No, no, no, no, no.
It is so much more than that.
I created The Jack-O'-Lantern Killer to make something bigger than myself.
Something that can outlive and transcend what a man can be.
An icon.
A legacy.
I tried a lot of other things, but nothing fulfilled me like killing.
If I could just go back...
You...you said create a legacy...
Yeah...?
Well, that's actually why I'm here.
Just--just hear me out.
If you could teach me, I could be the next Jack-O'-Lantern Killer!
Come on, please. If you could be my mentor and train me...
So...
...you want to be like me.
You want to feel the thrill of murder...of taking a life away.
It's all I've ever wanted...
That feeling when you're pulling the knife out of your prey...and you're staring
into their dilated pupils as their very essence flows into your pulsating hands!?
(evil laugh) What the f*** was that?
It's my evil laugh.
No. No, don't do that.
Invite the kids at school to this house...
You tell them...you got it for Friday night, and they can have all the fun they want.
But little do they know...
The Jack-O'-Lantern Killer is back...
...and he'll be waiting.
Hey, who
the f*** closed the garage!?
Which one of these has nuts in it?
Uh, those, I think.
Sweet... You wanna get me a drink?
Who, me? Hey.
Mmmm...ew. C'mon, let's bounce.
The hell's her problem?
Daniel, do you have a jack?
Go fish.
Yeah, go fish me another beer, b****!
You guys are always so mean to me.
"You guys are always so mean to me."
You hear what you said?
Go get him another beer, b****!
He already drank like half of it, though.
Yeah? What about it?
Just go get him a drink, bro. It's a party.
Yeah, dude. It's a party. You ever been to one before?
Yeah, my party!
Bro...don't kill the mood. Just go get him another one.
If you're going to throw a party, maybe you should've thought about buying more.
Just go get the f****** drink, dude.
Okay, he's gonna show us where the drinks are, boys!
Where's the drinks at, Daniel? I'm feeling thirsty, Daniel--
Here! It's all right here.
Those aren't the ones I want.
What's wrong with these?
Those are girls drinks.
And I'm not...
...a girl.
Well, what do you want me to do about it?
How about you go get us some more, dumbf***?
I don't have any money, I spent it all on the party!
Yeah, you spent too much on the lame decorations.
Yeah, dip****!
I--I--I---
I--I--I think you should shut up and go figure it out.
I don't have any money!
All right, I think I got a little extra cash. Just lemme check real quick...
(bullies get hype)
F****** nerd!
Hey, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm--I'm okay.
Get his ***, dude, get his ***! He's a f****** nerd, dude, like...
Lame *** party, bro!
I was expecting Sydney from science class to be here.
(Francis getting hyped) I know you know Sydney from science.
All these women here and of course the nerd's in there playing Go-Fish, like?
There we go.
Yeahhh... It's time to get him!
Let's get him! Let's get him! So you live here? It's like a mansion.
Well, um, it--it's my grandpa's house.
Oh, nice. So, you're close with him?
I, uh...
He's dead. Mhm.
He--He's dead.
Oh... (evil laugh)
It's okay, you know, he...
Nerd! Loser! There we go!
What even was the point of that?
Uh...because it was funny?
No it wasn't!
Oh...I'm sorry about all this.
Just go change your shirt. Everything's going to be okay.
Took you long enough.
Turn around. Let me see you.
If you have to get ahold of me, talk to me on this.
And remember...
When you make that first kill...
...you're no longer you.
You become something else, something...
...something indescribable.
Now...
...start with that annoying couple.
Did you bring them?
****, I forgot them in my bag.
I'll go get them.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
Okay.
Do you need something?
(Daniel coughs) Oh, what the f***!?
S***! Aw, f***!
F****** b****! F*** you!
Babe, I'm back! You f****** freak!
It's so...tight!
F***
you!
Is everything okay in there?
Johnny, open the door!
Are you seriously f****** cheating on me?
(gasp)
S***!
Sir, I think someone's dead!
Haha, you killed him!?
No, he just slipped in his head! Oh God...
Slipped and hit his--
You didn't kill him!?
He just f****** slipped, I didn't have a chance!
He--he--he was--
S***. What was that? Who's there?
Someone's at the door, holy f****** s***, what do I do!?
Is--is there--is there a window!?
You've gotta get out of there, it's all about the stealth!
You want me to jump out of a window!?
Do you want to be the next Jack-O'-Lantern Killer or not!?
(distant scream)
Sir, I think I twisted my leg. Oh my God, it hurts--
All right, so you screwed up the first one.
You still have a chance to get the rest of the group.
Do you see anybody who's isolated himself?
Yeah, freakin' stoner by the lake.
All right...
Now this one should be easy.
Just do exactly what I say...
(stoner yells)
Get--get back here!
Oh, f***, my knee! Oh my God--
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
S***! He jumped in the f****** pond!
Then jump in after him, you idiot!
I can't, it's too cold!
(distantly) Oh my God, I can't swim!
I'm too high to swim! Please!
Oh God, f*** my life!
Why did I jump in the pond!? God damn it...
Sir, he--
Uh, he's dead.
Ah, so you actually killed him? How'd you do it?
Well, no, he, you know--
He--he...
He drowned before I could get him...
He--
Drowned!?
How...?
What do you mean how? He inhaled too much water--
No, you idiot.
How could you not catch him?
Well, maybe if you didn't make me jump out a f****** window--
What was that?
Nothing, sorry.
Well, at least nobody saw you.
...right?
Daniel.
Daniel, come in.
Daniel?
Please open the door.
Johnny, what's going on!?
Johnny, open the F******* DOOR!
(Star screams) (party chatter)
Guys! There's a f****** killer outside!
What?
(Star screams)
(everyone screams)
Daniel! Daniel, pick up!
Uh, sorry, sir.
There was--uh--something up with the frequency--
What the h*** did you do?
It's fine. They're just, uh, having a good time in there!
I swear, if you-- Don't worry about it!
I promise, everything is under contr--
(everyone screaming)
We're all gonna die!
Don't worry, Eddie, I'm gonna save you!
No, don't do it!
Don't do it--
S***...
(screaming)
Ah,
crap.
(Xavier clears throat)
Oh, f***...
F***...
What the hell?
Uh, sir...?
You don't even need to say it.
Wait, wait, hold on.
I--I--I can explain! Just--
No.
We're done, kid.
No, no, no. Just please wait. I--I--
F****** a****** Daniel. Goddamn piece of s***.
Rachel, we need to go!
Oh s***!
God, you guys scared us!
No, you scared us!
Yeah, you f****** scared us!
...sorry.
What was that? What's going on out there?
Uh, hello? He asked you a question.
This is all your fault.
All of this is happening because of you guys.
What does that even mean?
Look, that...that thing...out there...
It's...
...Daniel.
That little nerd? That's who's killing everyone?
Well, he hasn't really been, like...
...killing people yet, but...
I think he's trying to!
So let's kick his ass!
Yeah.
Hold on. Hold on.
"Oh, Daniel, jump out of a window!"
"Jump in a pond!"
F*** that s***.
This will show 'em.
The f*** is wrong with the lights?
What's wrong with the lights?
Lucas, was that you?
No, I thought it was you.
Oh s***, someone's on me!
Someone's on my back! I think I got him!
Dude!
Oh, hell no, bro.
Yo, get in front of me, Lucas.
The hell, I don't wanna be in front!
I'm not dying tonight!
I got you right where I want you...
Wait a minute.
It IS Daniel.
Uh, Daniel?
Psh.
Who--who even is that?
Like, I don't know who you're talking about--
We know it's you, dude.
Uh, hold--hold on...
Let--let's just talk this out now...
We--
We could uh--
F*** this, I'm out of here!
Come on, let's get his ass!
Get over here, Daniel!
S***!
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, no! Don't worry, Francis, I got him!
Thought you could scare us, huh!?
Guys, stop!
(Francis groans) Take care of him.
Wh--what? What's going--
What? You're defending that psychopath now?
No, but I can have some sympathy!
F*** your sympathy!
Look, we already got the little--
Oh, Francis is gonna get a kick out of this!
And if he somehow gets away,
I'm gonna find that nerd, and shove him back into the--
Dude, stop.
I'm gonna find that nerd--
Dude, stop.
I'm gonna find that--
Dude, what!?
I'm a f****** killer!
Oh s***!
Aye, it's just me!
It's just me!
OH MY F****** GO--
(dies)
Lucas!
That was so...
...f****** epic.
Stay with me, buddy.
Remember that time after practice...
...when we were running away from the cheerleaders?
And we were hiding under the bleachers, and you told me...
I was your favorite player on the team.
No, I--
I don't remember that.
Damn.
I must have been dreaming.
A good dream.
You think so?
I know so.
Can I?
I just wanted to be like you.
Lucas?
Lucas!
You know what, Daniel!
I've got a gun.
What?
I've got two of 'em.
Gun show, baby.
(gasp)
You dinky little s***!
You'll NEVER fit in!
You'll NEVER be like us.
Your name is f****** Daniel!
I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm sorry...
It's over now.
That's how you do it, kid!
That's how you kill someone!
I spent too much of my life building this just for it to be desecrated!
I sacrificed everything!
It's sacred.
You have no sense of it!
This is MY legacy...
...my birthright!
I'm The Jack-O'-Lantern Killer, not you!
And he will not be remembered--
--as a miserable, pathetic coward!
When you make that first kill...
...you're no longer you...
You become something else, something...
...something indescribable.
[ __ ]
Last night, The Jack-O'-Lantern Killer returned after 30 years.
The authorities have uncovered decades of evidence from the scene,
such as journals and photos, many of which have been released to the press.
As new details emerge, a clearer picture has been painted of who he was.
In treating him as an urban legend, we have lent him power.
In sympathizing with depravity, we have afforded him reason.
In truth, it should be called as it is:
He was a bitter coward who chose evil of his own volition.
Like any other killer out there, he had a choice to live a respectable life.
Instead, he chose to be the worst of us.
He was no legend or myth.
He was just a man.
Maybe it's all of our faults that he came back,
if not for us keeping him alive in our minds and broadcasts.
These reports should die alongside his legacy.
With that, this will be our final broadcast on the matter.
We can only hope that he will be forgotten in time...
...and that the world will never have to fear The Jack-O'-Lantern Killer again.