NARRATOR: This week on "Love Island Games" was--
[Callum, Jack laughing]
NARRATOR: Oh, how can I put this?
Hey, mate, what's going on? Crazy.
NARRATOR: Come on, Iain, it's top of the show.
- Hold me back, hold me back! - [Eyal screaming]
- [Toby screaming] - NARRATOR: Oh, I know.
Wall to wall
to wall epic epicness.
Hey, that was pretty fucking impressive.
NARRATOR: But tonight,
it's time to unleash
the insanity of Unseen Bits.
Fucking hell! What was that?
Oh, what the fuck?
I hope that they have alien orgies.
NARRATOR: Only with Unseen Bits
can you really know what's happening on the inside.
- I was like, "Yo, yo, yo, yo." - NARRATOR: Inside the Villa.
Inside the Islanders.
I've been sweating and shitting all day.
- It's been great. - What the fuck is going on?
NARRATOR: And inside every coconut-scented cage fight
in our tropical colosseum.
- I am greatness! - IAN, CELY: Yes!
- I love it. - [laughing] Yeah!
NARRATOR: This is "Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.
Epic.
- Bosh! - Bosh!
[theme song playing]
["Peer Gynt Suite No. 1" by Lorne Balfe]
NARRATOR: Fiji, jewel of the Pacific.
A volcanic island erupting with beauty.
The cradle
of civilization
where our ancestors walked upright
for the very first time...
heralding a new era of intelligent life,
Homo sapiens made meaning from symbols.
Shapes become sounds.
Thus, language was born,
and the universe bore witness to humankind's
very first words.
***
That's fucking sick, bro.
NARRATOR: Oh, no, we're not witnessing the birth of humanity.
It's "Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.
CALLUM: Fucking bosh.
***
CELY: [indistinct]
NARRATOR: To prepare for their imminent boost in fame,
the Islanders hosted a make-believe red carpet event.
Much like the ones they'll attend on the outside world.
It was unseen.
* Yo, check-a me out *
Okay, guys, and guys, this is Cely and Eyal, thank you.
[camera shutters clicking rapidly]
[in high voice] Eyal, we love you.
Eyal, please, over here.
CELY: Eyal, can I get one alone?
- EYAL: Yeah, of course. - One alone is crazy.
That is experience. That-- that is experience.
Fantastic, fantastic.
NARRATOR: As a narrator, when I attend red carpet events,
people ask me to get off the red carpet.
***
[upbeat instrumental playing]
A recent rainy day proved the Islanders are just like
a record-breaking submarine.
When drenched in water, they descend into depths
lower than anyone thought imaginable.
What the fuck? It's crazy.
- That foot grip. - Girl, be gripping.
What do they call a hand job with your feet?
- A foot job. - Is that it?
- Oh, it's just a foot job? - Yeah, it's a foot job still.
[smooth instrumental playing]
I don't know that-- if I--
JESSICA: Oh, yeah, this is--
Is that crunches?
No, I-- I'm practicing giving a foot job.
Oh, I thought you were doing crunches.
[both laughing]
A foot job's like this.
- Oh, like this. - Yeah.
- Why was I going like this? - I don't know.
Have you ever-- Have you ever given one?
No, never. I hate feet.
Why was I going like this? It's like this?
- Cely, what in the fuck? - I'm practicing my foot job.
That's a proper foot job right there.
NARRATOR: I'm sorry,
I thought a proper foot job was what you got
when you graduate as a podiatrist.
***
In this unseen bit, master pickup artist Callum
demonstrates the moves that show everyone
that you are full of confidence,
and your jockstrap is full of fire ants.
[indistinct]
[girls giggling]
- Hey. - Hey, babe, how are you?
I'm good. I'm loving the sass.
You're looking very fucking juicy today.
- Thanks. - Um, just a couple of facts about me.
Um, I've got a UK driver's license.
Um, I've actually got an Australian driver's license.
- Nice. - I'm six foot two.
My shoulder-to-waist ratio is astronomical.
Now, with the facts out of the way,
let's buy me a drink, yeah?
- [all laughing] - Bosh.
CALLUM: All right, role reversal, role reversal.
Role reversal is crazy. This is gonna be crazy.
This is just-- I'm juiced up, right?
I've fucking got big watches on and stuff with the boys.
[all laughing]
[in low pitch] Yeah. Yeah. Lemon squeezer.
- Yeah. Yeah. - [Megan clears throat]
- CALLUM: Somebody's got COVID.
[all laughing]
No, I don't know. [laughing]
- Getting shy a bit? - No, I don't know what I'll do.
I'd just be like, hey, how are you?
Yeah. Good. What's happening? You like me?
[all laughing]
I've got no game. I don't know what I'd say.
I-- I'd just stand here,
and pretend I was ordering my own drink,
and then, be a bit like...
- A bit like this. - CALLUM: [indistinct]
You gotta work your magic, you know what I mean?
No, I don't. This is the magic.
- CALLUM: Oh, is it? Okay. - [Megan laughing]
- Well, you're fucked then. - Fuck you.
NARRATOR: Callum is also a sex coach.
He offers one-on-one intensives
that last anywhere between 15 to 30 seconds a session.
***
Peacock said they want us to include
more scenes tailored to the lucrative entomology market.
So, for those of you studying insects,
this one's for you.
- She was a li-- - Fucking hell!
[screaming] What was that, bro?
That was a bat.
Oh, fuck me.
Oh, my God, why's there a bug on my bed?
Oh, no.
Yeah. Protein, protein. That's a whole lot of protein.
- That's a big-ass protein. - [Jack laughing]
[Imani blowing]
- Not with chilis and shit. - No fucking way.
TOBY: Oh! Oh!
[screaming] It's crawling.
- [insects buzzing] - Right.
Oh, my God, it's there, it's there.
[Liberty laughing]
Oh, shit.
- Jesus. - What fucking is that, bro?
You just hit that, yeah?
- Yeah. - Fucking hell.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, get it off, get it off, please.
- [laughs] I can't. - Please.
- No, I can't. - Where is it? Oh, my God.
[Liberty screaming]
- Girl. Damn, girl. - Fuck, sorry.
I'm just seeing some shit coming towards my face. [laughs]
NARRATOR: Callum's a good-looking lad.
I bet plenty of people would like to kiss him.
I also bet plenty of people are about to change their minds.
Look at that cockroach.
Dead.
- Look at that. - Fuck. No, bro. That's crazy.
- Look at it. - JOHNNY: Is it alive?
EYAL: No, it's dead. If I win this show--
JACK: What the fuck are you doing?
If I win this show, I'll give you two grand
if you eat this.
JACK: What if you ate it now, and he didn't win the show,
you're just shit out of luck?
- EYAL: Yeah, you just ate it. - JACK: Don't got the minerals.
Don't say that to me, 'cause I'm just gonna--
You don't got the minerals to eat that, to chomp that.
[overlapping shouting]
You don't have the minerals.
- No! - [both screaming]
EYAL: Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out!
- No! - Bro, he just ate a big-ass beetle, y'all.
No, he just ate that beetle.
No, bro. [laughing]
- EYAL: Oh, my God, bro. - JACK: That's so disgusting.
EYAL: That is horrendous.
On international television.
- CALLUM: Fucking madness. - What did it taste like?
CALLUM: Beetle.
NARRATOR: And, Paul McCartney, if you are watching,
which of course you are, I'm sorry for your loss.
***
[scheming instrumental playing]
Okay, I really don't know whether doing accents
is politically correct anymore,
but it's not me who will get canceled,
it's the Islanders, so let's have at it.
[Valley accent] We're from LA, and so, like, it's so fucking cool.
Hey, girls, are we going to pilates tomorrow?
- Pilates. - JACK: Should we get avocado and toast tomorrow?
[girls laughing]
- Georgia. - GEORGIA: Yeah.
You try to be LA girl.
[with strange accent] Oh, my God, hi, you scared me,
you should have let me know it was you coming in.
[all laughing]
You sound like Betty Boop or something.
You sound like a Southern girl.
It's the one line I learned at drama school in the American accent.
That was like hillbilly.
Give us an English accent.
[with British accent] What do you mean?
Do you think that maybe, if I came over there
for a chat that you would want to talk to me?
- That was good. - That was actually so good.
- Was it all right? - Yeah, that was so, so good.
- Thank you, guys. - I can't say "guys." [laughs]
I'm like, "Thank you, guys."
- You all right? - You all right?
Maybe I can get some tea.
NARRATOR: Tea? That reminds me,
it's time for the next
U-N-S-E-E-N-B-I... Tea.
[Toby laughs]
***
NARRATOR: Now, this show isn't just hunky beefcakes talking nonsense outside.
They also talk nonsense inside.
Would you rather [bleep]...
[Ray laughing]
...or [bleep]?
[laughing]
I'm not saying that sentence on camera ever.
Have it taken out of context.
NARRATOR: So what the bleep did he say?
What's so shocking is that not even Johnny
would let his mouth near the words?
Damn.
NARRATOR: Find out after this.
[tinkling]
[theme music playing]
[upbeat instrumental playing]
NARRATOR: Oh, hello.
[in high pitch] Hello, what's your name?
NARRATOR: I'm Iain.
Are you ready to twerk your way
into more Unseen Bits?
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa.
NARRATOR: Great, because this week, our Islanders were moving.
JACK, CALLUM: Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
NARRATOR: Grooving.
Where the hips are,
the man follows, see that.
NARRATOR: And downright boogieing.
Pecks were popping.
No one's stopping.
***
And beats were dropping.
They kept dancing even when they were sopping.
- Come on, good shit, bitch. - Bitch.
NARRATOR: So, let's two-step our way into more Unseen Bits.
Before the break, Eyal asked a truly shocking question,
I think...
would you rather [bleep]...
[Ray laughing]
...or [bleep]?
[laughing]
I'm not saying that sentence on camera ever.
Have it taken out of context.
NARRATOR: But what the bleep did he say?
Would you rather...
[laughing]
...have your dick on your nose...
[Ray laughing]
...or no dick?
[goofy instrumental playing]
You're walking around to the shop,
and like, you got a dick on your nose.
[Ray laughing]
Like, you see-- You see something crazy,
your nose is gonna rise.
- [Ray laughing] - I'll have a dick on my nose,
for sure, yeah, fuck, yeah.
I'm not saying that sentence on camera ever.
Have it taken out of context.
I'd make it work. I'd make it work.
It's gonna be like, "Unseen Bits."
And then, it's gonna have me saying that.
NARRATOR: Unseen Bits, never heard of it.
Johnny, cover your ears. On to more Unseen Bits.
***
Just like when I lived in a shared house full of nuns,
Toby found it hard to get used to other people's habits.
By the way, in fact, I need to speak to you.
Something terrible, crazy,
like, potentially cancelable.
- JUSTINE: What? - Crazy, Justine, man.
That's mad. Just like, why, how?
- How could you ever do that? - What?
Grapes and ketchup, crazy.
- Wait, who the fuck did that? - Crazy.
Hey, someone down there done grapes and ketchup on the same plate.
Are you serious?
Cheese toasty, grapes and ketchup.
What, you dip the grapes in the ketchup?
[laughs]
TOBY: Crazy.
And I want everyone to know, camera, let them know
that Justine put grapes with ketchup.
Crazy. Cancel her.
NARRATOR: Toby, if you don't like it, you can always leave.
Nah, don't bother.
You get dumped pretty soon anyway.
***
[Asian-themed instrumental playing]
Affirmations are new age nonsense,
a quick fix used by dreamers too lazy to take responsibility
for the dumpster fire life they created.
And I swear by them.
[in unison] I will enter these challenges fearless,
because I'm stronger than I think.
That was a good one.
I will not overthink
and just be myself.
[in unison] I will not overthink and just be myself.
I am worthy of finding a genuine connection.
[in unison] I am worthy of finding a genuine connection.
- I am enough. - [in unison] I am enough.
- [Cely chuckles] - I love this.
Yeah! [laughing]
This is nice, mate.
NARRATOR: Out with the seen bits...
[inhales]
...in with the unseen bits.
[exhales]
Out with the seen bits,
and in with the unseen bits.
My heart is open, I'm ready to receive
the next unseen bit.
***
Now the round of Would You Rather chosen by our lawyers.
When I demanded a different scene, they said,
"Would you rather keep your job or..."
I said, "Don't bother finishing that sentence. I'll just play the bit."
Would you rather-- Would you rather not be able to
bend your knees or bend your elbows?
Bend my elbows.
I need to be able to walk.
JOHNNY: So, you'll be like this, everywhere you go.
Yeah, but how are you gonna walk?
You can walk like this.
TOBY: So, you can walk how you walk anyway, bro.
- JOHNNY: You'd be like this. - TOBY: How you walk anyway.
Or you can walk everywhere, but you'd be like this...
[Ray laughing]
You wouldn't be able to touch your face ever.
So, yeah, I think I'd rather walk with straight legs and be able to bend my arms.
Because you gotta be able to bend your arms, bro.
Imagine not being able to bend your arms.
- Yeah, so... - 'Cause you'd be able to like,
straight leg bound when you are running.
You know what I mean? Like...
Yo, imagine a straight leg race.
Let's try this.
[overlapping conversation]
I'm fucking ready. Give me straight.
Straight leg race.
Oh, you straight leg bound?
- [boys laughing] - What the fuck is going on?
But arms would be fucked, 'cause you couldn't brush your teeth.
- TOBY: You couldn't drink. - Yeah.
You'll be doing everything with your feet.
NARRATOR: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I think Callum
said it best when he said, "What the [bleep] is going on?"
***
This Unseen Bit proves boasting about your fitness
is like reverse parking a trailer in front of your father-in-law.
You must be able to back it up.
Please welcome to the stage
Miss Steel!
Representing Great Britain
in the UK Natural Bodybuilding Championships.
Right now, we are gonna see her
flex her biceps.
Flex your bicep.
Now, we're gonna see her tense her abs.
Tense her abs.
- GEORGIA: I do have little ones. - You do.
Yeah, you've got nice abs.
Considering I've not done any pilates for four weeks.
- You're toned, man. - I've not done any pilates for four weeks.
- Pilates is fucking hard. - I do, strong-- No, I'm good.
I can hold plank for three minutes.
- No, you can't. - Wow.
- No, you can't. - GEORGIA: I can.
Well, then, go for it, go on.
I'm not doing it right here.
Why not here? It's padded here, we'll count.
GEORGIA: I can do it for three minutes.
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.
All right. One. Two.
Three. Four.
Long day, [indistinct], bro.
You just [indistinct]--
Eight, nine.
[echoing] 10, 11, 12.
58, 59, 60.
One. Two. Three.
Four. Five.
53, 54, 55, 56,
57, 58, 59, 60.
Final minute.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
51, 52, 53, 55, 56,
57, 58, 59, 60!
That was pretty fucking impressive.
Yeah, that was good.
Yeah. Gun show, baby.
What way's the beach? What way is the beach?
- That way? Or is it that way? - You're fucking jacked.
NARRATOR: You know what takes me three minutes?
Actually, on second thought, forget I said anything.
Let's just crack on.
***
This week, on the main show, you saw a Tug of War
that sent Toby and Georgia packing.
But in earlier, less dumpy times,
Toby faced off in another way,
and it was a much fairer fight.
[dramatic, scheming instrumental playing]
[boys laughing]
We were like spies. No one sensed it.
We saw that bottle there, we went straight over to him,
and then soon as I did that big pour,
bosh, we're on the floor. Gone, and we're gone, it's gone.
- It's gone. - It's gone.
- The military style. - The military.
He didn't have a clue. He still doesn't know who it was.
He's still in the bedroom thinking, "Fuck, is there a leak in the roof?"
He's like, "What's going on? Crazy, crazy"
This type of prank is only down to two people.
Callum or Jack. Now, they started a war.
A war has begun in the Villa.
[suspenseful instrumental playing]
This guy, he thinks--
This is Love Island, this ain't Snooze Island, bro.
This is-- Come on. Come on.
[Toby laughing]
You fucking dead end.
You fucking [indistinct].
[Toby laughing]
It looks like I pissed myself.
You got to fight fire with fire,
but in this case, water with water.
So, I've got him back in the best way possible.
And I've even got Johnny to film it.
So, I'll always have that in my arsenal.
Fantastic.
NARRATOR: Such a shame
a prank war isn't part of the real games.
For Toby, not for anyone else.
They love still being on the show as much as I love this quick ad break.
[tinkling]
***
NARRATOR: Welcome back to "Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.
This unseen bit comes with a public safety warning.
Do not, I repeat, do not let Callum teach you anything.
Do you know what's fucking absolutely crazy?
When you look up to that moon,
that moon is a fucking star.
- It's that big, that far away. - JACK: The moon's not a fucking star.
- CALLUM: Isn't it? - JACK: Fuck no. What are you talking about?
I thought the sun was the moon.
I thought the sun was the moon at nighttime.
JOHNNY: You thought the moon was the sun at nighttime?
Yeah, well, there's two different ones?
JACK: The reason why you see the moon is because the sunlight
hits the moon's surface, and then we can see it.
But there's no sun now, bro.
JACK: No, no, but the sun still hits it.
If we put that moon on Earth, like, how big is it?
Size of like, a state.
Like, medium-well.
- JACK: No. - Like Los Angeles.
JACK: Bigger than that.
No, as big as, like, Africa as a continent.
I mean, the moon is pretty fucking big.
CALLUM: How did they get there in the '60s, bro,
and they haven't got back since? That's bollocks.
JACK: You'd go back every weekend, wouldn't you?
Yeah, if you knew you could get there,
and it was fine, like, you just--
We'll find out sooner rather later,
because if they did, stuff would still be there.
- They left stuff behind. - The flag.
JACK: Mm, maybe. There's no wind, bro.
So, how the fuck was that flickering?
Why is there no wind?
JOHNNY: Because there's no atmosphere.
There's no wind in space?
- There's no wind in space, bro. - You'd think that it'd be wind,
'cause it's like, high up, innit?
NARRATOR: And the Emmy for Best Educational Television Special
goes to Callum on The Moon Is the Sun
on Unseen Bits.
***
Now, an unseen chat about the Islanders first times.
I remember my first time.
Eighteen wonderful seconds
behind the Aberdeen cat shelter.
Oh, my producer is telling me that this chat
is about their first times on Love Island. Carry on.
LIBERTY: You did the rooftop, and I [indistinct].
- What one was you? - JOHNNY: I was at Fiji.
I think it was nowhere near as big as this.
So, like, you couldn't really go for a quiet chat.
No, everyone could hear everyone's chats, yeah.
If you tried to say, "Ah, yeah, I don't like Jack."
It'd be like, "Yo, yo, yo!
Yo, yo, yo! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- I can hear you!" - [all laughing]
Did y'all keep your water bottles?
I actually still have my water bottle.
I do too, I do too. I kept our things.
Do you remember the Cely and Johnny from our last date?
- And then with the dancer on it from Caesars Palace? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
I have that still, I have a memory box that I keep like everything in.
- GIRLS: Aw. - I remember getting dumped,
as soon as I got dumped, I took the stone from the fire pit.
- [all laughing] - I was like, "I'm done?
All right, see ya later," and I just put it in my pocket.
And I left.
NARRATOR: Alpha, Bravo, Coconut.
UK stone thief has revealed himself.
Perp is tanned and shirtless.
Repeat, tanned and shirtless.
Go, go, go!
***
["Don't Call Me Crazy" by Nineoneone]
NARRATOR: To return to play games on a spinoff show,
be an unforgettable Islander.
To return to host games on a spin-off show,
be an unforgettable Maura Higgins.
The best way to understand the Higgins effect
is just to look at Callum's face.
You did see Maura hosting, Knowing Me, Knowing You in the main show.
But there were some rounds
you didn't see.
How is everyone?
I've been sweating and shitting all day.
It's been great.
[music stops]
Which Islander does your partner think is the most annoying?
Oh, fuck.
Toby, we're starting with you.
One guy in the Villa, Callum.
[laughs]
- Callum. - MAURA: Callum.
Fuck it. Here we go.
- Callum. - Callum.
- Poor Callum. - [all laughing]
- My boy Callum. - Callum.
- Callum.
I had to give it to my boy Callum.
Does everyone actually have Callum?
To be fair, that is-- That is expected.
I did actually, pick myself at the start,
but then, I was like, "Nah."
He knows it. He knows it.
- MAURA: Yeah. He knows it. - IMANI: He's an idiot.
MAURA: Boys and Megan, this question is for you.
Which Islander would your partner say is the weakest?
I said Jess, 'cause she's small.
I said Cely.
Okay, Jack?
I put Jess.
Justine, do you agree?
No, I put...
- [laughs] - She put Callum.
- Why? - Girl code and all that, Jack.
Weakest Islander? I'm not really sure where they're coming with that angle.
I feel like I'm a fucking boss in this villa.
- Justine, you and I gonna have a word after this. - Eyal?
I haven't been in here long enough, but I put Jess
because I've heard that she's not very good at challenges.
I've literally, like, done good in the last two.
Jess, don't listen to him. You're great.
The boys are not well.
- Johnny? - I said, Jess.
- What the fuck, Johnny? - Fuck.
What the fuck, Johnny? [laughs]
NARRATOR: If I didn't know any better,
I'd think the producers actually wanted
to stir up drama.
I know they don't,
I know they wouldn't want to,
but it does seem like that at times.
[dramatic music plays]
It's bigger than the Super Bowl.
It's more important than the Rugby World Cup.
It's the end of a season.
It's the last episode of Unseen Bits,
which means it's also time for the last
Beach Hut Battle.
- Beach Hut Battle, bitches. - Beach Hut Battle, bitches. Yes!
NARRATOR: It's the game where we pit different countries against each other
and have them compete for absolutely nothing.
It's an honor to represent Australia in the Beach Hut Battle.
[chanting] USA! USA!
NARRATOR: Representing team Australia
are the only Australians we have.
Callum and Jess.
One's from Wales.
But you're not even Australian.
Yeah, but it's still an honor because I love the country to bits.
So big up the Aussies. You know what I'm saying?
NARRATOR: Representing team USA, we have Courtney and Imani.
- We are America. [giggles] - Yeah. Shit.
NARRATOR: Teams will be asked general knowledge questions
about the other team's country of origin.
The team with the most correct answers wins,
thus undoing over 100 years of alliances
between the two great nations.
We know so much about America.
Lots and lots about America. They got no fucking idea.
NARRATOR: Now, because I'm feeling generous,
I'll start the scores at zero-all.
Team Australia to go first.
The United States capital is Washington, D.C.
What does D.C. stand for?
- What the fuck? - The cap--
To be honest, I thought the capital of America
- was fucking New York. - I thought it was Hollywood.
I thought it was Hollywood. Where that big sign is.
[laughs] How the fuck are we supposed to--
Yo, can't we get a clue? Like, that's so hard.
- That's so... - That's not fair.
- Domestic culture. Culture. - Yeah.
- Domestic culture. - Domestic culture. Because it's mixed culture.
- NARRATOR: Sorry, that's incorrect. - [buzzer buzzes]
D.C. stands for the District of Columbia.
- Columbia? - What the fuck?
What the fuck? Are you taking the piss?
- What the fuck? - Why is Columbia there? It's a different country.
NARRATOR: Over to the Americans.
Wombats are native to Australia,
but what shape are their poops?
- Fuck. - What kind of shit is this?
Oh, I think I saw them when I was there.
- Yeah, but I didn't look at their poop. - [laughs]
- Would it be round? - I feel like maybe.
- I say we're going to lock in "round." - Yeah.
- NARRATOR: Sorry girls, that's wrong. - [buzzer buzzes]
Wombat droppings are cube-shaped.
- [gasps] What is it? - Fuck. I knew it!
I fucking had a feeling that it was gonna be wrong.
- It has square poop? No. - No.
- What does his butt look like? - Yeah.
NARRATOR: I don't have information on the wombat butthole.
I'll need to look into it.
The score is 0-0.
Back to the Aussies, Jess and Callum.
In America, if someone says something is cattywampus,
what do they mean?
- What the fuck do these people-- - Cattywampus?
What's cattywampus? [laughs]
"Oh, that is cattywampus!"
Cattywampus means, like, you're, like,
you talk behind people's back, but you're a pussy.
Yeah, bro. That's a good one.
- Yeah. - You know what I mean?
'Cause it's like, you're being catty and, like, a pussy.
- Yeah, cattywampus. Like, you're a womp - Womp.
- You're a puss. Yeah. - Yeah.
Yeah, so you talk behind people's backs,
and you just are a pussy about it,
you don't even say it to their face.
- NARRATOR: Sorry, that is not correct. - [buzzer buzzes]
Cattywampus means something is a little bit off,
crooked or askew.
[laughs] But-- but what the fuck?
But, like, what, like, that's a bit crooked?
Could you imagine me, like, going, "That is cattywampus"?
What? You would just say it's fucking not straight.
NARRATOR: Back to the Americans.
In Australia, what is a joey?
- Oh. - What is it?
It's a kangaroo.
- Is it? - Yeah.
- Oh, okay. - I got this.
We are going to lock in "a kangaroo."
- Good shit, good shit. - A baby kangaroo.
NARRATOR: Correct.
- Ah! Yay! - Yeah, baby!
- Yes! - That was good. Yay.
NARRATOR: Team USA takes a lead at 1-0.
If you were going to perform a "Star-Spangled Banner,"
what would you be doing?
What the fuck is a star-spangled banner?
Maybe the star-spangled banner is, like,
a banner that they get when they're, like, you know,
they've done well in a movie or something.
- You know what I mean? - Yeah, that's so smart.
Yeah, they get their plaque on the floor in Hollywood as a star,
or they get a star-spangled banner
which is just basically a banner that goes across their chest
saying how well they did.
- NARRATOR: A creative guess but no. - [buzzer buzzes]
It would be singing the US national anthem.
Oh, yeah, we're gonna know what that is, aren't we?
- These are so hard. - We're on Love Island, you know what I mean?
- We're not in uni. - [laughs]
- We're not in-- - Fuck no. It's not Uni Island.
NARRATOR: Back over to the USA.
What activity do Australians have a legal obligation to carry out?
- Alligator hunting? - Yeah. [laughs]
Do they do that?
- I'm dead. - Cleaning up.
Well, if they have so many beaches,
what if they have to legally--
What if they-- Keep their beaches clean
or, like, a no littering policy?
Okay, we're gonna lock in "cleaning the beaches."
NARRATOR: The answer is, Australians have an obligation to vote.
- Oh! - Oh, duh! Everyone has to vote.
NARRATOR: The score is still 1-0.
Australia need this point to draw.
America need this point to win.
Final question for the Aussies.
How do you spell "Mississippi?"
- Mississippi. - Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I... Missi--
...S-I-P-P-I.
Mississippi.
No.
M-I-S-S-I-
S-S-I-P-P-I.
- Mississippi. - Mississippi with an I at the end?
- Wouldn't it be a Y? - Mm. Trust me, trust me.
NARRATOR: You spell Mississippi. M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I.
Or backwards, I-P-P-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-M.
- Yeah, we got it. - Fuck yeah.
- Do we? - I think so.
NARRATOR: One last question for the Americans.
In Australia, if someone refers to a franger,
what would they be talking about?
- It's a fucking franger. - [laughs]
- Does it sound aggressive? Or is it franger? - A little.
- A lazy person? - Franger? Oh, that's good.
- Yeah? - I support it.
Okay. We're gonna lock in "a lazy person."
- NARRATOR: Incorrect. - [buzzer buzzes]
A franger is a condom
which is worn down under, mate.
Damn it!
We used the shit out of that franger last night.
[laughing]
That's a big franger.
NARRATOR: This competition would fit right next to my bed
because it's a draw.
Ooh, see, that means we didn't do too bad.
- We didn't do too bad. - There's someone out there that's smart too like us.
Or dumb like us. Either way, we'll take it.
- Yeah. - A tie is a tie. Even Steven.
Really?
- A tie? - Okay.
Fuck it.
NARRATOR: But it won't be a tie for long.
Join us next week for another--
Hang on, no, this is the last Unseen Bits for "Love Island Games".
I guess it will be a tie for long.
Forever if it doesn't get recommissioned.
Join us as we continue to turn more unseen bits
into seen bits
after the break.
[tinkling]
[theme music playing]
NARRATOR: Welcome back to "Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.
I had a week of epic shocks and nasty surprises,
but that was from all the hot sauce I put on my breakfast cereal.
Let's sink our teeth into another of this week's juiciest unseen bits.
Yeah.
NARRATOR: The explosive trio of Courtney, Mike and Carrington
contains some of the biggest names in "Love Island" history.
Carrington's what, like, 10 letters.
That's a massive name.
And other than jumping up to touch the door frame,
the only thing they had on their minds
was major league pot stirring.
Bombs shooketh by the bombshells.
They all needed spiritual guidance,
and with the Buddha only set to enter as a bombshell next week,
Cely and Eyal kindly demoed
the swift and sexy path to enlightenment
with their affirmation station.
CELY: Welcome to Eyal's and Cely's affirmation class.
- Okay? - EYAL: Affirmation 101.
- CALLUM: Question. - EYAL: First question. Yes.
What the fuck is an affirmation? Never heard of it.
So, it's words or a sentence
that is going to reinforce positivity
and bring good energy to you
and the way you're moving through life.
CELY: Jess.
Is it the same as a wish?
If you say it enough, girl, you could speak it into existence.
It would be like, for example,
"I am worthy of winning challenges
no matter my athletic abilities."
- Courtney? - Courtney.
I know you got this, bitch.
I'm gonna show up as the best version of myself possible every day.
- Yeah. [laughs] - Yeah.
- That was good. That was good. - Wow.
Callum, your brain goes so fast. Just spit something out.
All right, here we go.
So, I am going to continue
to dance and prance my way around this villa
with a full jar of minerals,
every single day,
no matter what "Love Island Games" throws my way
'cause I am the fucking guvnor.
- Yeah! - Guvnor, boy!
- [indistinct]. - [indistinct].
- EYAL: You tell it. - CELY: Jess?
I know you have one, girl. I know you have one in there.
The-- the stage is yours.
And believe that shit.
- [laughs] Yes. Period. - Yeah.
I am a very good-looking specimen.
- Yes! Yes! And what else? - Yeah, come on!
- And what else? - Come on, tell it to the universe.
- What are you? - What are you? What are you?
I am courageous!
- [Cely screams] - Yes! Say it again!
- I am courageous! - One more time!
- I am courageous! - Yes!
NARRATOR: I will see another unseen bit.
I will see another unseen bit.
I'm speaking it into existence
because here's another unseen bit.
In this unseen bit, the Islanders discuss
how they know they're in love.
The chat was open, honest, and genuinely lovely,
which is exactly why it was immediately cut from the main show.
JACK: When did you know, at what point in time
have you thought, "Oh, shit, I'm actually in love."?
I knew I was in love when I'm-- When you do goofy stuff as well.
Like, it got to a point where me and my ex were, like, sat on the toilet together
having full-on conversations, like,
we got past them barriers and we're just, like,
we're just doing mad stuff.
What would you say is the weirdest thing
you've done for love?
Like, what you wouldn't normally do?
Like, something that you wouldn't normally do for anyone else,
but you've done for them because you love them?
I have a weird thing where when I'm in love
I start to like the person's, like, BO sometimes.
That's fucked. What? Licking pits?
You licking pits in sex? "Oh, baby, lick my pits. Lick 'em."
No, but, like, they smell, like, their natural...
Hermophomes.
- Pheromones. - CALLUM: Pheromones.
KYRA: Yeah, like, it hasn't been like that
for every person I've been with, but, like, some.
Yeah, you're in love, love. That could never be me.
That's definitely a thing though.
Callum, what about you?
CALLUM: I've only been in love once.
She had, um, a tampon
that went too far up and she couldn't get it out, right?
Yeah, she could not get it out, bro.
It was an issue. String gone, the lot.
And I'm thinking, "Oh, she really needs my help."
She was actually in pain.
I'm thinking, "Fuck it, do it."
Fucking splash water on my face,
pep up like that, on one knee, no gloves on.
I'm going, "Fuck, all right, let's have a look."
And I have to dig in, pull it out.
If that's not love, I don't know--
Now, that's being a real boyfriend because that--
that is an amazing-- an amazing thing you did.
- CALLUM: Yeah. - That's a real one right there.
NARRATOR: The first time I knew I was falling,
was my skydiving instructor.
That wasn't a skydiving joke.
I was in love, and I fell hard
when she forgot to pack my parachute.
That was a skydiving joke.
Usually, if a Love Island hunk says they were up all night
testing mattresses,
it's code for something that is not strictly related
to lumbar support.
Unless of course, that hunk is Jack.
I'm gonna change the mattress, my brother.
I wanna change the mattress.
- Changing the mattress is crazy. - JACK: Is it?
Doesn't matter. Who-- whose mattress is this?
It's Johnny's. It's Johnny's.
Oh, yeah, change it. [laughs]
NARRATOR: Now, something happened next.
But what?
I guess I'm asking what happened next.
Find out after the short snooze.
[theme song playing]
["Livin' our Best Life" by Lee Richardson]
* I think we're living our best life, best life, yeah *
NARRATOR: Welcome back to a little thing I like to call
"Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.
The show where you get to see the extra exclusive content
that's so far been unseen.
So, pop a squat...
as we show you the rarest of rare Islander moments
that are jaw-dropping
and brain-poppingly hilarious.
It's our last Unseen Bits episode of the season,
so forgive us if we're a little bit sentimental.
What does sentimental mean?
NARRATOR: It's your favorite show of the week.
Oh, what the fuck?
NARRATOR: No, the month. Year. Eternity.
- [indistinct]. - No fucking way.
How-- how long did it take you to do your makeup today?
How long did it take you?
How long did you take to do your makeup today?
Fucking [indistinct]. No!
- On three. [laughs] - [indistinct]. [laughs]
NARRATOR: Back before the break-- Do you remember that?
I started trailing a brand-new mattress protector.
His name's Jack.
I wanna change the mattress.
- Changing the mattress is crazy. - JACK: Is it?
RAY: doesn't matter. Who-- whose mattress is this?
It's Johnny's. It's Johnny's.
Oh, yeah, change it. [laughs]
NARRATOR: So, what happened next?
Changing the mattress is crazy.
- JACK: Oh! Oh! - [Cely laughs]
RAY: Are you all right? Are you good?
- JACK: Oh! Oh! - [Cely laughs]
- Oh, shit! - Oh, my God!
That's it, Cely. You keep laughing, girl.
- Your mattress next. - [laughing]
NARRATOR: After that, Jack should take the view recommended by Freddie Mercury
at the end of "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Nothing really mattress.
Anyone can see.
Nothing really mattress to me.
Except for this next unseen bits.
[eerie music plays]
Recently the Islanders became convinced the villa is haunted
after several terrifying encounters with ghoulish creatures.
We explained that's just the camera department
and there's no more to it,
but the girls are unconvinced.
Do you believe in ghosts?
- Yeah. - CELY: Hell yeah.
They're real, I'm fucking terrified.
I've been talking to them every night.
- Oh, creepy. - Really?
[indistinct].
I knew I seen you in the corner, girl.
Have you ever seen one?
I-- No, but I feel like for me,
like, I would die if I did.
Like, I-- my heart's not strong enough.
Why do I feel like I would just sit there and kiki with them?
- That's insane. - Like, sometimes I'm, like, "Show yourself."
Like, I just wanna chat.
So, like on my season of "Love Island," right, like,
my best friend on there, she just coupled up with a guy, his name's Austin.
And she was, like, she used to always say,
"All right, universe,
if Austin is the boy for me, and we're gonna last,
please show me a butterfly."
And we never saw butterflies in the villa.
Every time she said that,
a butterfly, like, flew past,
- and we all started screaming. - Oh, my gosh.
- And then my other friend-- - Is she still with him now?
- Yeah, they're full together. - LIBERTY: Oh, my gosh.
- That's insane. - I believe in all that shit.
But that's why I'm, like, I just wanna chat
- because sometimes I feel like, it's like-- - Cely.
I just wanna pull my ghost for a chat.
NARRATOR: Universe, if this peanut butter and stout smoothie
is the one for me,
don't make your presence known in any way.
And that is a green light from the afterlife.
Bottoms up.
Mm. Booze and nuts.
Some people say marriage or bringing a child into the world
are the most meaningful experiences in their life.
But that's because they've never had the chance to narrate their way
into the Unseen Bits about alien orgies.
Do you guys think there's, like, social classes of aliens?
Social classes of aliens?
- I don't think they're like-- - You think there's a Kardashian family of aliens?
- [laughing - Aliens could just be fucking right now.
- I hope that they have alien orgies. - I hope so too.
- Good for them, man. - EYAL: Good for them.
But it could be-- They could talk in a whole different way.
Like, they can just have, like, a tentacle that comes out
and, like, reaches over and then be like--
Yeah, sex might not be a pleasurable thing for them.
- Yeah, bro, it could just be like-- - JOHNNY: Reproduction.
EYAL: Yeah, it's like foxes.
Have you heard foxes having sex?
- Because they scream. - What do you mean?
- How they sound? - [Eyal screams]
And the reason is because the-- the male fox's penis goes in,
and it's like an arrow, and then it can't come out.
And so it's like, it's pain
and that's why they scream so loud.
- IMANI: Oh, my God. - Why have you told me that?
My day was going fine.
We were having a lovely conversation about alien orgies,
and you want to just fucking bring that up, bro?
Arrow dick? Now we're talking about arrow dick.
- JOHNNY: Arrow dick. - [all laugh]
NARRATOR: Alien orgy, fox sex. Oh, no, that's public.
I'm gonna have to change my Peacock password.
[theme music playing]
This is "Love Island Games" Bits Unseen.
After last week's Unseen and Uncensored,
we got a cease and desist letter
from the Japanese show, Unseen and Unsenseid.
After clearing up the misunderstanding,
we're once again free to bring you an epic
Unseen & Uncensored.
We asked the Islanders, what's the one thing
you wouldn't want your family to know?
Which they answered in the one place
that would guarantee their family would know.
If you're lucky, maybe they don't have a Peacock subscription.
Something I don't want my family to know,
so they can watch it back and know, hmm.
A little secret my parents don't know.
I'm gonna tell y'all, so look, check it.
So, when I had a girlfriend back in the day, you know, um,
she used to sleep over my house but she would have to sleep in the guest bedroom.
But look, she didn't.
At night time when they went to sleep,
she'll sleep in my room, sneak, you know,
a little tiptoe, come in my room.
You know what I'm saying? A little eh, eh, eh.
Boom, she'll sneak back in the other room,
and my mom will come check, like, "Oh, how everybody doing in the morning?"
And... [scoffs]
They think I lost my virginity at 18,
but I actually lost it at 15.
I was eight years old, and I snuck out of my house, and I walked to church
because I was so mad at them for grounding me.
And I went to church to pray and I was like,
when I come back, there's gonna be cops everywhere
and they're gonna be so mad at me.
I came back home and came, climbed in through my window
expecting to, like, you know, fucking see a bunch of chaos.
They didn't even realize I was gone.
To this day, they never knew that I snuck out to go to church and pray.
One time I had a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time.
One time I'm on the flight back from Hawaii, like,
a five-hour flight back to Los Angeles.
And I just so happened to sit next to a bad thing.
And with everyone around us,
she, um, puts her head in my lap
and, uh, she got real comfortable.
One time when I was leaving the club-- Did they know I was at the club?
No, because I was-- Shouldn't have been at the club.
It was a school night,
and I literally had my Uber driver walk me to the door
and just-- just laid one on him.
Laid a big old kiss on him. And I was like, "Okay, bye."
Mom...
I threw a party in your house when I was living there,
and you have no idea about it 'cause you was in a different country
and the police were called and, uh,
we had about 200 people in the house.
Probably how many girls I snuck into the house when I was younger.
I snuck someone in the house, right?
And I-- I was a really good kid.
Like, I really did not make a lot of mistakes,
I didn't do anything mischievous.
So, I snuck somebody in the house, and our alarm went off.
So, because my mom and my family trusted me so much,
they're like, "What happened," you know?
And so they called the police.
And I had to see it through.
Probably that I had a threesome or two.
Who knows? See ya. Goodbye.
A secret that I don't want my parents to know
is that I'm on "Love Island Games" in 2023.
I was just, like, I'm going on holiday with the boys.
Um, I'm probably gonna be going to, like,
remote islands and stuff, so I'm not gonna have much signal,
but I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Sometimes you do have to tell your parents what they wanna hear.
Mom, I'm sorry.
NARRATOR: I'm sure the broken trust will very quickly be repaired
in just a decade or five.
[screaming]
And with that, we are out of secrets
- and Unseen Bits for the season. - Bosh.
NARRATOR: But don't you worry, there are more main episodes
- to come. - Sex. Sex. Sex.
NARRATOR: Our all-stars will bid to become
the inaugural "Love Island Games" champion couple
- 2023. - We have to bring it.
Last time I wore a sailor's hat, I was fucking having it off in the Hideaway.
NARRATOR: Thanks for tuning in to "Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.
We'll see you next time. Hopefully.
Good night.
***