- Hey, y'all. I'm Ms. Pat.
- All rise.
- And I know the inside of a courtroom.
I'm a convicted felon with a GED.
Now I'm sitting on this side of the bench.
Y'all are killing me!
These are real cases with real money on the line,
and I'm bringing my own friends to court as my jury.
- What is this, "Looney Tunes"?
- Y'all may have started this mess,
but I'm gonna settle it.
- I love this courtroom!
- All rise, cause court is back in session.
[gavel slams]
[dramatic music]
- Get on your feet for the woman
who never misses a beat, Judge Ms. Pat.
♪ ♪
- Thank you. You can have a seat.
All right, jury.
Be still, Ray J, and stop dropping shit.
- OK.
- All right.
Bailiff, get them in here.
[object clunking] - Ooh.
- What was that?
- I don't want to snitch.
[laughter]
- I could tell it's Carmen by the furrows on her face.
[laughter]
- My bad.
That was me that time. - OK.
Well, come on. Let's get this case popping.
- This is the case of Nicholson versus Carson.
- Plaintiff Trydarius Nicklson is suing his cousin for $2,600
after he claims she gave him a botched Brazilian butt lift,
leaving him with a busted booty.
Defendant Kenya Carson says her BBL practice is perfect
and Trydarius is to blame for the loss
of his booty and her business,
so she is countersuing him for $4,600.
- Before we get started, I just want to let you know,
this is a jury of my peers, OK?
Don't pay them any attention.
They're from the work release program.
[laughter]
So, Trydarius, tell us why we're here today.
- Your Honor, I'm here today because I'm suing my cousin.
I'm embarrassed to say I paid her 2,600
for a BBL procedure, and it just didn't turn out right.
I was trying to be built like a Barbie,
but I'm built like Barney. - [laughs]
- Barney has way more ass than that.
- Yeah, he does. - Barney's thick.
- All right, can you let me hear
your side of the story, girl?
- So Trydarius came to get a liquid BBL.
He should have paid $4,600.
All he could scrape together was $2,600,
so that was all he gave.
- So you gave your cousin a bootleg BBL?
- I didn't give him a bootleg anything.
I do them in an office.
It's clean. It's sterile.
- Are you licensed? - Yes, ma'am.
- OK.
- But because of him not being satisfied
with what he could afford, he did some things
that caused damage to my business,
so I'm countersuing him for $4,600.
- Uh-huh. Why wasn't he happy with it?
- He said that he didn't get what he paid for it,
when in fact, he did, which is 100 milliliters
of dermal filler.
- How many milliliters did he need?
- 300 - He only got 50 in each cheek.
You need 150 each cheek.
[laughter]
- Tell him. - Not that I know of-- not--
[laughter]
- What did your ass look like before and after?
Do you have any pictures? - Yes, Your Honor, I have.
[laughter]
- Are you ready? - Ooh, whew.
- [laughing] Oh, no, God.
[laughter]
- That's a clear difference.
The left side is before,
and that's where you have the markings.
- I'm concerned about this ass, Pat.
He got a hopscotch ass.
[laughter]
- So when did that ass disappear?
- It kind of started, like, two or three weeks
after the procedure. All I did was fart.
And every time I'd fart... - Fart?
- So it's like I pooted... - Hold on.
- And farted my whole BBL out.
[laughter]
- What is going on?
- I was banned from the lunchroom
and banned from the break room because everybody
was dissatisfied with the smell that I produced.
- You got laid off 'cause you wouldn't stop passing gas?
- The side effects got to be high-pitched fart,
'cause I had helium in the ass.
[laughter]
- [imitates high-pitched fart] Like that?
[laughter]
- I have never heard no shit like this.
[laughter]
- Kenya, how long do these BBL shots usually last?
- They last up to three years. - Three years?
So how did he fart his away?
- He didn't. He's lying.
- Trydarius, I know she had to tell you,
'cause when you leave from getting a procedure,
they tell you, don't lay on your butt,
nothing in your butt, don't play with your booty.
Did you tell him any of that? - Yes, ma'am.
No exercise, no drinking, no rock and roll.
- So she told you. - That's correct.
- How much of this did you do? - I'ma tell the truth in here.
I did do a little rocking and rolling.
- Mm-hmm. - I did some drinking.
But what I seen online--
- I don't care what you did online.
I Googled the other day, and they told me I had MS.
I went to the doctor. My menopause kicked in.
[laughter]
So if he's not happy with his ass,
why are you countersuing him?
- For lost wages.
I lost two clients.
He went on social media and called me out,
tagging me and all that stuff.
It's, like, 1,200 people on that post liking it.
- Ooh. - Oh.
- And after they seen his post, they sent me a message,
saying like, "I don't want to come,
because from what I heard, it ain't lasting."
- Mm.
- She hurt my career also with this.
- What do you do for work? - I model.
I do shows. - Where do you model at?
- The internet. - Everywhere.
- The world wide web.
- I mean, what were you modeling?
- I was modeling sleepwear.
I got one of the pajamas set with me right now to show you.
- Let me see the pajama set. - Oh, you got the onesie.
- Turn it to the rear. - Oh!
[laughter]
- Oh. That's why you want the ass.
Oh.
- That ain't for women because I don't want
my ass out like that. - Well, I do.
How much?
[laughter]
- After he got his BBL, they sold out.
Did they not? - That's correct.
- So that should have been his money back right there.
- Oh.
- So Kenya, how has this affected
your relationship with Trydarius?
- It's affected us greatly.
My grandma, she'll even ask me,
"You talk to Trydarius?"
'Cause she know how close we were.
I don't want to tell my grandma we fell out because
he wanted to have a fat ass.
I don't want to say all that. - All right.
Trydarius, any final words before I go make my decision?
- All I ask, Your Honor, today is y'all see me through
and have some faith in my ass.
[laughter]
- I've never had nobody tell me to have faith in their ass.
[laughter]
So with that said, I've come to my final decision,
and I'm gonna settle this once and for all.
♪ ♪
I'm ruling in favor of...
♪ ♪
The defendant, Kenya,
for $4,600
because she gave you what you asked for.
- Period, Judge.
- You ruined her business.
You had no business going out there
putting that on the internet.
She gave you the ass you asked for.
[gavel slams]
Now get your ass out my courtroom.
[laughter]
- Is all BBLs Brazilian, or there's some, like, back alley?
- Some back alley.
- He probably wanted a Brazilian,
but I think she gave him a Mexican ass.
[laughter]
- She butchered my dog's haircut.
- I had to groom him at her house.
- Let me see this photo. - Drumroll please.
- Brace yourself. - Oh, hell no.
[audience oohs]
- What?
- Can you take the picture down?
This white girl about to start crying.
[laughter]
[dramatic music]
- Y'all better watch out.
These people coming in here trying me,
and today ain't the day.
- We got your back, boo. Don't worry about it.
- You're gonna start bailiffing, Bailiff?
I'm tired of telling you when to bailiff.
- I need to know when to go. You got to tell me, right?
- Oh, go on and bailiff, Bailiff.
- This is the case of Estell versus Guinn.
- Plaintiff Sharonda Estell is suing her ex friend
Deja for $741.99
after Deja shaved her dog bald without permission.
Defendant Deja Guinn says
she was doing her friend a favor.
The pooch needed help, and the groomer just couldn't cut it.
Sharonda needs to drop the doggy drama with this lawsuit.
- Sharonda, tell me why you're here today.
- I'm here suing my ex best friend
for $741.99
because she butchered my dog's haircut.
- Whoa!
- He is looking like a Siamese cat with no hair.
So I need my money.
$741.99.
- OK, Deja, tell me how you skinned this dog.
- I flew out here for Ebuka's birthday.
- Who is that? - Ebuka, that's the dog.
- That's my baby. - OK, Ebuka.
- That's her little puppy. I fly out.
We take him to the groomer's. He bad as hell.
They don't accept him. - He is not bad.
- She like, "I got to get to work.
I don't know what to do."
So I'm like, "OK, I got you, fam."
I'm like, "I'ma do this on my own."
I went and bought clippers, bought him some little treats.
I shaved him.
I really thought I did something good for her.
[audience murmurs]
- So you told her to take your dog to the groomer,
and the dog is bad as hell.
- He is not bad, Judge Pat. He is just excited.
It was just his birthday. He's a puppy.
- What kind of dog? - A golden retriever.
- The dog knew it was his birthday?
- Yes!
- Like days before the birthday, he was like...
[enunciating roughly] I'm 'bout to be a little older.
[laughter]
- He had a birthday cake, two chains.
- Yeah, they doing white people shit.
- He knew it was his birthday. - Yeah.
- Do you have a picture of Bukashit?
[laughter]
- Ebuka. Yes, Judge, I do.
Here is his picture.
And he is very charismatic and photogenic.
- OK. - Got on some drawers.
- Oh. - He's cute.
- Ms. Pat, literally, that dog is high, drunk.
[laughter]
- It look like he was turnt
the night before. In the moment.
Is that a taco on his ass? - A taco.
And he got the Meg Thee Stallion tongue out.
Ahhh. - [laughs]
- But, seriously, when you see this picture,
you gonna be like-- she hate me, clearly.
- I had to groom him at her house.
- Let me see this photo. - Drumroll please.
- Brace yourself, because I'm not exaggerating.
- Oh, hell no.
- I'm finna scream, dog.
- She turned that dog to Porky Pig.
[audience oohing]
- What?
[audience oohing]
- That's me crying on FaceTime with my mama.
- You literally got this dog looking like a dildo.
[laughter]
- Wow. - He was matted.
I couldn't get out the-- it was knots all in his fur.
She wasn't taking care of him. He couldn't even see his balls.
- It look like a chicken that's ready to get basted.
Like-- [laughter]
- Ms. Pat, can you take the picture down?
This white girl about to start crying.
[laughter]
- So how did you come up to $741?
- Golden retrievers have lots of hair.
So after she butchered him,
I had to have the house cleaned.
So they come, you know,
they clean the floors and all of that.
But, really, all that did was make
all the hair... - Go everywhere.
- Go on the furniture.
So I had to have furniture cleaned.
Then, Judge, it was still winter here.
So he needed onesies and snowsuits and all of that
because he was bald.
- Do you have any receipts that you spent for this dog?
- Several receipts.
- Well, send them then. Send them.
- All right, all right, I have receipts from
the original cleaning where they just cleaned the floors.
They had to come back and do the furniture.
- What is the toilet paper for?
- 'Cause he saw his haircut and shit himself.
[laughter]
- Karlous, help me out with this.
- What made you take the initiative to say,
"Hey, I'ma shave her whole dog,
and she gonna appreciate this"?
- I looked at it like, OK, this is my best friend.
She wants him groomed.
And everywhere I keep taking him,
they're not accepting him because he's overly hyper.
- I'm not even a huge dog person,
and I feel so bad for the dog.
- 'Cause he looks so sad on there.
- Oh, my God, like, you done ate the baby's spirit up.
- Yeah, that dog hates you.
[laughter]
- I've heard enough.
I've come to my final decision.
And I'm gonna settle this once and for all.
♪ ♪
I'm ruling in favor of...
♪ ♪
The plaintiff. - Thank you.
- Sharonda. - Are you serious?
- Yes, Deja, you're ordered to pay her
$741.99
for shaving her dog and making her clean her house.
And I'ma say this to you.
I don't even want you to walk a damn dog.
- OK. - I just settled it.
- You are dismissed.
- After you.
- Something's going on that they ain't talking about.
- Yeah. I think they dating too.
- She flew in for that dog and some cat.
You know what I'm saying?
[laughter]
- I really do love my sister,
and I know she got my best interest,
but I just feel like 50% was just, like, a lot to me.
- It is. - Yep.
[applause]
- I still want my money though.
[laughter]
[dramatic music]
- How are y'all doing, jury? - Hey, Ms. Pat.
- Couldn't be better. So glad to be here.
- Well, y'all working real hard.
You're working my damn nerves.
[laughter]
- Bailiff, start bailiffing, please.
- This is the case of Evans versus Hood.
You may now enter.
- Plaintiff Mesa Evans is seeking
$4,600 from her sister Jada,
the amount she claims she's owed for managing
Jada's rap career.
Defendant Jada Hood says her sister
needs to chill because she's already
getting her manager's cut.
Besides, Jada is the one with the talent,
so Mesa needs to back off.
♪ ♪
- All right, Ms. Evans, tell me,
why are you here today?
- I'm here today to sue my sister Jada for $4,600.
I have managed and funded Jada's rap career
for over six years and counting.
[audience murmurs]
Jada refuses to pay me back.
So at this point, I'm pretty much done,
and I'm just here to get my money and move on with my life.
- Mm.
- OK, Jada, tell me your side of the story.
- Yeah, my sister is trying to sue me because of the money
that she invested into me.
However, I feel as if I invested into her business
just as much as she invested into me.
If she wants to not be my unofficial manager anymore,
I'm letting her leave,
but when I blow up, she cannot come back.
- Ooh. OK. OK.
[laughter]
- What type of rapper are you?
You look like a Christian rapper.
- Yeah. [laughter]
- Hip-hop slash rap.
- I would call you Shirley Little Caesar
[laughter]
- All right, Ms. Evans, how do you manage her career?
What exactly do you do for her?
- I book shows for her all the time.
I make sure she gets paid for those shows.
I'm her stylist and her makeup artist as well.
- Mesa, what is the $4,600 for?
- Your Honor, would you like to see my receipts
of the studio time that I paid for Jada?
- That's what I do.
I look at receipts, baby. - That's right.
- Here you go, Bailiff.
Just studio time.
A lock-in is $900. - I've been locked up.
What's a lock-in? - A lock in, lock out.
- A lock-in is like when you go to the studio
for three or six hours,
and over the past six years, I have paid for five of them.
- Mesa, did your sister pay you anything?
- She's never paid me anything at all, ma'am.
[audience murmurs]
- Why didn't you get a contract with her?
- Right.
- Because she was my sister and I--
- I don't care nothing about she was your sister.
Business is business.
- Has she made any money from-- - She makes money all the time.
Jada books gigs behind my back all the time.
I typed up a contract for her.
She refuses to sign a contract. - What was in the contract?
The contract stated that if I was to make $100,
she's to get $50. If I was to make--
- Wait a minute now. [audience oohs]
- Half? - No manager get 50%.
You are a rip-off.
The standard fee to have a manager
or agent in this business is 10%.
- [chuckles] - And let me say this.
Even though she wanted 50% and she got you booked on gigs,
you still didn't give her anything?
- Yeah.
- I invested in her business plenty of times.
- What is her business?
- She has a clothing line called Sakcrazy,
and I bought in--
- Not with that outfit on, she don't.
[laughter]
- Ma'am, you look like a Teletubby over there.
Please. - Oh.
[audience oohs]
- Here we go. First of all, how do you--
- So you invested-- - No, Pat.
You got to give me ten seconds.
I may look like a Teletubby, but listen,
You look like a Nickelodeon blimp.
[laughter]
- Where's your husband?
- My husband is dead like your ends.
[laughter]
Where's your chin? You got three of them.
Can I have one of them? I could go on and on.
I'll do this all day. - [laughs]
- Plaintiff Mesa Evans
is suing sister Jada for $4,600
for managing her rap career,
but Mesa was trying to cop 50% of Jada's take,
and she wasn't having it.
Ms. Pat is about to squash this beef.
- Jada, how much did you spend on Mesa's business?
- About $1,850.
- Do you have any receipts for it?
- I do.
I have plenty of invoices in there
of all the outfits that I bought for her clothing line
that she did nothing with.
- I didn't ask her to buy any of that.
[audience murmurs]
- Ms. Evans, I really think she need to get away from you.
- Why? - But that's my sister though.
- You want to be robbed by your sister?
Go and stay with your sister. That's--
- No, I'm not saying that I want to be robbed.
- Your Honor, she's not being robbed.
- I'm not gonna argue with you two country bumpkins
I tried to tell you.
- No, that's not-- no! Why--
- I'ma go on over here.
Ts Madison, help me out with this.
- I think, honestly, you do have
your sister's best interest at heart,
but you is a robber.
[laughter]
- She wannabe Suge Knight, but she look like Shug Avery.
[laughter]
- OK, OK, all right.
How have this affected your relationship?
- Honestly, we're kind of, like, distant,
and I really just want her to understand,
like, I'm your sister.
I'ma always have your back.
- Jada, how have this affected your relationship?
- I feel like our relationship is too strong
for me to separate her as my sister and my manager.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
'Cause I really do love my sister,
and I know she got my best interest.
But it's just like-- [sniffles]
- Y'all will make it right.
[audience awws]
[applause]
- I still want my money, though,
but we're going to the top, but you got to pay me.
- I know that I should have paid her,
but it was just like-- I don't know.
I just feel like 50% was just, like, a lot to me.
- It is. - Yeah.
- I see the love that you have for her,
but y'all are in this together.
So I've come to my final decision,
and I'm going to settle this once and for all.
[dramatic music]
I'm ruling in favor of...
♪ ♪
The plaintiff, Mesa Evans.
- Thank you.
- Jada, you're ordered to pay $460,
which is 10% of that studio time.
- That's more like it.
[laughter]
- Once you pay me, I would love to be
your manager again with a contract.
- At 10%. - At 10%.
- 10%. See?
[applause]
[gavel slams] All right, I just settled it.
Y'all get out of my courtroom.
- See y'all later. Thank you.
- I wanted to give her 10%,
but she is robbing the shit out of her.
- Yes, Carmen, when she leave, though,
I'll say, "Girl, this is not what you want right here."
- This ain't what you want.
- They'd be trying to try me, Pat.
Why do they think that they can come in here
and [bleep] with us?
[laughter]
Only on "The Ms. Pat Show."
- Next time on "Ms. Pat Settles It"...
- Party start at 8:00.
Shawty to get there at 10:30.
- My babysitter was late.
- I sent you this money in February.
- Wow, that babysitter was late as hell.
[laughter]
- This is from the vet to tell me that your dog
has sensitive teeth. - Yes.
And that he's well trained. - Wait a minute.
The doctor's name is Ruff Barkley?
- What? Come on.
- Sir, you wrote this down.
Where is the mic?
- I had to get some drip. I had a show.
- You sold the mic? - You sold the mic?
- No!
- Are you out of your mind? - What?