1 00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:02,202 - All rise! - Hey, y'all, I'm Ms. Pat, 2 00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:03,570 and I know the inside of a courtroom. 3 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:04,905 Man, that girl is innocent! 4 00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:06,406 You ain't the damn judge. 5 00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:07,908 Get ready to see real cases. 6 00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,109 I want you out of my house. 7 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,445 Real drama and real money on the line. 8 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,046 I gave her my kidney. 9 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:14,314 Give it back. 10 00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:16,250 And I'm bringing my friends to court as my jury. 11 00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:18,318 Lock her ass up! 12 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:20,053 Y'all may have started this mess, 13 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,088 but you know I'm gonna settle it. 14 00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:22,089 Ms. Pat, Ms. Pat. 15 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:23,090 You droppin' teeth. 16 00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:23,957 MAN: See, that's my tooth. 17 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,025 You smokin' dope. 18 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,627 That was my asthma pump. 19 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,161 Y'all must have a good time together. 20 00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,363 BOTH: We do. 21 00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:32,332 All rise, because court is back in session. 22 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,969 You might as well keep your hands and feet 23 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,971 inside the courtroom at all times, 24 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,073 because it's about to be a crazy-ass ride. 25 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,609 All rise for Ms. Pat. 26 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,181 - MS. PAT: Hey, y'all. - Hey. 27 00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:49,683 Y'all, sit down. 28 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,585 - Hey, jury. - Hey. 29 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,720 - How you doing Navv? - Blessed and highly favored. 30 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,323 - That's a lie. - [laughter] 31 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,092 All right, bailiff, get to baliff-ing, bailiff. 32 00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:02,095 This is the case of Jackson versus Simone. 33 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,964 Please enter the courtroom. 34 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,632 ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff Jammie Jackson 35 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,168 is suing her friend and fellow comedian Coco 36 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:11,038 for $2,100, the amount she says Coco made 37 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:14,007 selling tickets that weren't hers to sell. 38 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,244 Defendant Coco Simone says Jammie must be joking. 39 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,378 She sold the ticket, 40 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,047 so she should get to keep the money. 41 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,582 Coco feels like she was set up, 42 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,051 but she won't be the punchline. 43 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:25,552 ...tell the truth, the whole truth, 44 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,554 and nothing but the truth, so help you, God? 45 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,189 Before we get started, I just want to let you know 46 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,224 this is my jury and they funny-as-hell, 47 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,660 so if you laugh smart, you win big. 48 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,062 [laughter] 49 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,931 All right. 50 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,132 - So, Jammie? - Yes, ma'am. 51 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:40,567 - Coco? - Yes, ma'am. 52 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:41,568 All right, not one of y'all came to court 53 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:44,338 with y'all legal name, but okay. 54 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,173 Jammie, tell me why you're here today. 55 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:49,977 I am here, Your Honor, to sue Coco, right there, 56 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:53,213 for $2,100 because I put on a comedy showcase. 57 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,250 I specifically told Coco to sell ten tickets. 58 00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,253 That's how she'll be paid for being on my comedy showcase. 59 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,923 Anything over ten tickets needs to come to me 60 00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,224 because I have expenses. 61 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,327 I have to pay the DJ, I have to pay the security, 62 00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:10,030 the host, the other comedians that's on the showcase. 63 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,532 That's why I only asked her specifically 64 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:14,167 - for ten tickets, okay? - Okay. 65 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:16,003 But she gonna go and sell out the whole doggone theater 66 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,205 and leave me with no money, Your Honor. 67 00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:19,906 Therefore, I'm here to get my money. 68 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,408 I ain't get a dime, not even a penny 69 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,578 - with a hole in it, okay? - What's your side, Coco? 70 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:25,579 Ms. Your Honor Pat, 71 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,613 I don't know why she brought us here. 72 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,015 She's wasting the court's time. 73 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:29,116 Y'all need to hold her in contempt. 74 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:30,984 She said, "Sell ten tickets, 75 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,452 and that's how you get paid." 76 00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:34,054 I sold the ten tickets. 77 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,122 After I sold them, I called her 78 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:36,490 and told her I sold the ten tickets. 79 00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:37,924 - You know what she told me? - What? 80 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,393 "Go and sell it out, sis." 81 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:40,994 - She gave me instructions. - She a liar, everybody see it. 82 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,696 Don't cut me off, I was being nice. 83 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,398 - Now don't do that. - So let me ask you this. 84 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,400 How did you sell that many tickets? 85 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:47,934 I harassed my friends. 86 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,437 I was in people's DMs, I was calling people. 87 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,505 I was sending requests. 88 00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:53,674 "Pay for these tickets right now today." 89 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,243 She stood on business, baby. 90 00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:57,944 Ticket master Coco. 91 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,213 [laughter] 92 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,149 How many other comedians was on the show? 93 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:02,983 Three. 94 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,184 And they didn't sell nothing. 95 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:05,585 They ain't got that Coco in them. 96 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,587 They didn't have no tickets to sell. 97 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:12,025 Was that a physical ticket or whatever she sold? 98 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,460 - JAMMIE: Exactly. - Did she just get 99 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,961 cash app at the time? 100 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,096 She got cash app at the time. 101 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,264 It was not a physical ticket. 102 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,398 She was writing people's names down? 103 00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:19,933 That's exactly what she did 104 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,535 and then turned it into the ticket box office manager. 105 00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,103 That's how I found out. 106 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,571 I should have sold some tickets too. 107 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,140 COCO: I'm a hustler, I'm a hustler. 108 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,175 DERAY: I like you. 109 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:29,443 Let's do some business together. 110 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:30,977 I'm about to come up. 111 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,313 So she sold the ten tickets she was going to make. 112 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,581 The ticket was $35? 113 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:36,516 - JAMMIE: Yes, ma'am. - So $350, that's not bad. 114 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:37,684 Right. That's what I felt like. 115 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,287 The ten was to pay her for being on my showcase 116 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,922 that I worked hard to put together. 117 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,557 How much did you pay for the venue? 118 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,926 $2,100, Your Honor. 119 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,594 I paid out of my pocket. 120 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,262 Did you have a contract? 121 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,597 - Mm-mm. - Yes, I did. 122 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,566 I had a verbal contract with her. 123 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:53,967 I put it in text. 124 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,936 - You put it in text? - Yes, ma'am. 125 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,037 MS. PAT: Let me see it. 126 00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,171 I got the contract, right here. 127 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,172 What contract? 128 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,073 The one that she did not give me 129 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,141 that's written in invisible ink 130 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,509 that ain't got nothing on it 131 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,444 because she didn't give me no contract. 132 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:05,645 You a liar. Your Honor, 133 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,380 I don't have it with me on text, 134 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,983 but I do got the invoice from the venue. 135 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,018 - MS. PAT: Let me see it. - I told her on text, ten... 136 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,553 She typed that up in the hotel last night. 137 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,188 [indistinct] ...on herself, Your Honor, in front of y'all. 138 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,290 That's why she reached back out after she sold the ten. 139 00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:18,525 DERAY: Is that what you had to pay, right there, 140 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,260 - that was... - JAMMIE: Yes. 141 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,229 MS. PAT: This is all a come-up moment. 142 00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,231 You sold her extra 60 tickets. 143 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,899 Why you didn't give her the money? 144 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,968 She didn't communicate that with me, Ms. Your Honor Pat. 145 00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,636 She told me to sell the tickets. 146 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,171 She ain't never say give her the money. 147 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,372 MS. PAT: Let's-- stop. 148 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,207 Did you really feel in your heart over there 149 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,308 that that was your money? 150 00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,676 Yeah, she told me to sell them. 151 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:39,079 She told you to sell ten. 152 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:40,614 - She was scalping. - [laughter] 153 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,149 Let me say this. 154 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,583 Had she did this to you, how would you be feeling? 155 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:46,353 I'd have took my money out of her ass-- excuse me. 156 00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:48,922 - You a gangster. - We is two different people. 157 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,457 We operate differently. 158 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,192 Jury, come on. Let me hear from Nene. 159 00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:55,428 Your reputation goes far in the entertainment industry. 160 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:58,131 If people are hearing that you're doing bad business, 161 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,333 doing everybody dirty, you'll never work. 162 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,601 I feel like I can relate to you 163 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,170 because I got that hustle in me. 164 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,305 And if you telling me that this is how I get paid, 165 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,940 I'm going to do whatever I can do 166 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,175 to make the most money. 167 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,877 But at the end of the day, this is your friend. 168 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,279 I just want to say this. 169 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:13,980 Be careful how you treat people. 170 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,916 - That's right. - Because you never know 171 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,384 who's next. Let me ask you this, Jammie, 172 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:19,986 how have this affected your relationship? 173 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,255 I felt like she was somebody that can help me 174 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,257 get to the next level and I can help her. 175 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,926 We just piggyback off each other 176 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,894 and do shows and things together. 177 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,262 What do you mean by the "next level"? 178 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,131 I'm inspired to be like a celebrity big-time comedian 179 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,532 - doing stand-up all the time. - Can I stop you there? 180 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:33,900 Can I say something to you? 181 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,937 I've been there, trying to find your way. 182 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,072 I never did this for the money. 183 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,575 Every time I walked out of my house and left my husband, 184 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:44,978 I did it because it was something that I liked to do. 185 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,913 Because when you find something you like to do, 186 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,982 can't nobody stop you from doing it. 187 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,585 My sister been smoking crack for years. 188 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:54,221 And we can't get off of it because she's in love with it. 189 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,523 And that's how I'm in love with comedy. 190 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,325 The analogy's been crazy. 191 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,093 [laughter] 192 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,394 So I've come to my final decision, 193 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,197 and I'm going to settle this once and for all. 194 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,802 I'm ruling in favor of... 195 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:15,542 - ...the plaintiff, Jammie. - [applause] 196 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:20,447 Coco, you're ordered to pay Jammie $1,750. 197 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:24,150 Coco, you sold 50 extra tickets at $35 each, 198 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,485 which is $1,750. 199 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,988 But I hope we can walk out here as a winner 200 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,123 and put a friendship back together. 201 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,358 Y'all gonna need each other. 202 00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:32,492 Absolutely. 203 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,927 I just settled it. 204 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,295 Y'all get out of my courtroom. 205 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,396 [applause] 206 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,098 Can I have a hug? 207 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:41,234 - MS. PAT: Yes, please hug. - ALL: Aww... 208 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,335 [applause] 209 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,139 Pat is, like, the best worst friend ever. 210 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,508 Probably three days after my husband died, 211 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,945 Pat calls me up and curses me out 212 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,614 worse than I have ever been cursed out in my life. 213 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,050 Says, "Get your ass up out that goddamn bed, bitch. 214 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,219 "You gonna make it through this, resting is over. 215 00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:00,520 "Goddamn it, he dead, he ain't coming back. 216 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,055 "You gotta keep your ass up. 217 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,157 You gotta put the foot forward." 218 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,592 She was right, and I bounced back. 219 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,928 So that's a damn good friend. 220 00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:10,063 [applause] 221 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,564 She didn't put the oil filter in correctly, 222 00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:12,933 so it leaked. 223 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,102 So they have to rebuild the engine. 224 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,971 Did you check the signal light fluid? 225 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,172 It wasn't in the YouTube video. 226 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,541 Ain't no such thing as no signal light fluid! 227 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,044 You gotta come here dressed like a mechanic. 228 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,946 CARMEN: He was dropping money. Goodness. 229 00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,580 MAN: I had to pay the movers plus gas, 230 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,449 roughly around, like, $2,300. 231 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:30,550 Did you sponsor the move 232 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,585 because you wanted to be in a relationship? 233 00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:34,321 No and yes, if that's possible. 234 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,755 No, it's not. 235 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,127 MS. PAT: Okay, jury, I see y'all over there. 236 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,896 Y'all came to slay and judge. 237 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,598 I see ya, I see ya, I see ya. 238 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,501 - Judgment. - You feeling a little judgy? 239 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,102 Ain't nothing wrong with feeling 240 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:52,239 a little judgy, am I right? 241 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,174 Come on, bailiff, start bailiff-ing. 242 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:57,611 This is the case of Spiller versus Obinyan. 243 00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,346 KARLOUS: That's a hell of a name. 244 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,314 Please enter the courtroom. 245 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,916 ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff Melanie Spiller 246 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,185 is suing her friend Brittany for $5,000 247 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:08,555 after Brittany wrecked her whip with a bad oil change. 248 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,891 She says Brittany was in over her head 249 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:13,093 and ruined her beloved Chevy. 250 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,962 Defendant Brittany Obinyan says she was trying 251 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,365 to do her friend a favor with the oil change 252 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,000 and doesn't owe her anything. 253 00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:22,369 Big ass assistant manager pants. 254 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,937 ANNOUNCER: The car got fixed, 255 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,006 so why is Melanie driven to sue? 256 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:30,343 ...and nothing but the truth, so help you, God? 257 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,511 MS. PAT: All right, Melanie, 258 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,946 tell me why we're here today, girlfriend. 259 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,015 Ms. Pat, I'm here to sue my friend 260 00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,617 of over ten years for $5,000. 261 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,186 She was supposed to do an oil change 262 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,623 on my 1998 Chevy S-10, 263 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,225 my grandma's heirloom to me, 264 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,526 and she destroyed it. 265 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:49,262 - From an oil change? - From an oil change. 266 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,265 When I actually took it to a real mechanic, 267 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,035 he said she didn't put the oil filter in correctly, 268 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,038 so it leaked all over the rod bearings, 269 00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,273 so they have to rebuild the engine. 270 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,875 Oh, God. 271 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,209 Damn. 272 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,445 Brittany, tell me your side of this story. 273 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,514 Your Honor, I don't owe her anything. 274 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,216 I changed the oil, free of charge. 275 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:13,253 I don't know about all the other issues with her car. 276 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,955 Clearly, that car is older than Jesus. 277 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,457 So, I don't know, I'm not paying. 278 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,392 [laughter] 279 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,428 MS. PAT: Do you have a picture of your truck? 280 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,896 I do. 281 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,599 This is my truck at the mechanic shop. 282 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,067 KARLOUS: You look so happy. 283 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,168 MS. PAT: Yeah, why are you posing like that? 284 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,469 Like, "Oh, my car broke." 285 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:32,038 [laughter] 286 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,473 Melanie, tell me what happened when you picked up 287 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,275 the truck from her. 288 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,210 I drive it less than ten miles to my place. 289 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,980 Then when I turned it off and I get out my truck, 290 00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,881 I see there's oil on the ground. 291 00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:45,118 I sent her a picture of my truck getting towed 292 00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,921 since she's been dipping and dodging my calls, 293 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,490 and I have my payments to the mechanic. 294 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,560 So, I already put $2,000 down, 295 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:57,163 and this is the remaining for it to be fixed. 296 00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,265 - For that old-ass car? - [laughter] 297 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,534 So, my truck is still with him. 298 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,404 He won't work on it until the full amount is paid. 299 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,605 Let me ask you something. 300 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,040 Why did you let Brittany fix the car? 301 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,143 She's painted walls for me, she's fixed my oven. 302 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,244 - I can do that, too. - She's done everything 303 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,113 without certification. 304 00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:15,548 So, when she told me she would help me 305 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,150 with my truck oil change... 306 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,418 But that's painting the walls. 307 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,687 Have you ever changed oil before this, Brittany? 308 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,956 - I have, I have. - Are you a mechanic? 309 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,058 I... You know, Your Honor... 310 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,926 - No, I don't know. - Listen, listen. 311 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,695 I graduated from YouTube University. 312 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,630 [laughter] 313 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,098 I'm a DIY queen. 314 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,667 Brittany, let's keep it real, baby. 315 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,702 You don't know nothing about no damn car. 316 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,470 It's really easy to do an oil change. 317 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:38,705 - Is it? - It is. 318 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,073 Is it, Karlous? 319 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,441 It's not necessarily hard, 320 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:44,244 but it ain't easy either if you ain't a mechanic. 321 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,545 Let me ask you this. 322 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,281 When you popped the hood to check the oil, 323 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,617 did you check the signal light fluid? 324 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,020 MELANIE: Yeah. 325 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,355 It wasn't in the YouTube video. 326 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,691 Ain't no such thing as no signal light fluid! 327 00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,025 [laughter] 328 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,163 So, if the check engine light come on, 329 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,364 and you just ignore it, 330 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,166 how long before it go off? 331 00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:07,534 I don't know, I don't ignore the check engine light. 332 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,469 I go to the mechanic. 333 00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,037 You go to the mechanic, 334 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,372 but you want to be her mechanic? 335 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,908 - [laughter and applause] - BRITTANY: All right. 336 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,643 All right, all right. 337 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:17,677 You knew Brittany was full of shit 338 00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:21,381 when she had them big-ass pants on. 339 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,783 Hey, she tried to come here dressed like a mechanic. 340 00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,519 MS. PAT: Let me ask you something. 341 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,188 Why is you investing money into the car? 342 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,589 - Because it's my grandma's. - It's a 19-- 343 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:33,093 I want to keep it because it's my grandma's heirloom. 344 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,461 All right, I'm going on over here to my jury. 345 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,528 Come on, Deray. 346 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,063 There is a trust factor. 347 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,531 It has been ten years that y'all been friends. 348 00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:39,599 You know that was wrong. 349 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,167 You know how much that car meant to her. 350 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,069 You hired your friend who didn't know anything 351 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:46,005 about a car, so, again, you get what you paid for. 352 00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:49,609 Any final remarks before I make my decision? 353 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,978 An apology would be appreciated. 354 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,813 So that we can move forward? 355 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:56,649 Yeah, I don't feel like I owe her anything. 356 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,618 I don't know. That's just... 357 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,954 I feel like I was just trying to help. 358 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,156 So I come to my final decision, 359 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,191 and I'm going to settle this once and for all. 360 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,462 I'm ruling in favor of... 361 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,266 ...the defendant. 362 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,503 Brittany, you don't owe Melanie anything. 363 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,971 KARLOUS: Really? 364 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:19,606 You knew your friend wasn't no mechanic, 365 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:22,909 but, no, you wanted things for free. 366 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,444 And when you want free stuff, 367 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,212 you get somebody who do your oil change 368 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,581 and forget to put the filter in. 369 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,552 Brittany, don't you touch another goddamn car. 370 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,321 Now, I just settled it. 371 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,556 Get out of here. 372 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,224 KARLOUS: That ain't Brittany's last oil change, 373 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,926 - I bet you that. - Oh, no, she got to prove 374 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,061 - something to Ms. Pat now. - MS. PAT: She probably will. 375 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,263 DERAY: Just to get back at you, 376 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,397 she gonna start tagging you in every video. 377 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,498 "What you say I can't do?" 378 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,900 I'ma block her. 379 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,970 You did a one-night stand with this man. 380 00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:52,972 Did you ever go back for more? 381 00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,941 - It must have been horrible. - [laughter] 382 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,609 You need to listen to some DMX. 383 00:12:58,244 --> 00:12:59,479 Goddamn, Karlous! 384 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,151 How you feel today, Ms. Pat? 385 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,552 I feel great. How y'all feel? 386 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,154 I feel great, too. 387 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:08,388 I want y'all to know I did give you 388 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,024 - one of them massages. - JASMIN: Oh. 389 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,927 She only had two hands, but it was like she had four. 390 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,629 Karlous, you are a small man. 391 00:13:15,696 --> 00:13:17,998 Two hands could feel like four on you. 392 00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,233 Who said I was a small man? 393 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,367 I know you. I look at you. 394 00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:22,035 It's just because you fall away from me. 395 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,370 - That's all that is. - No, Karlous. 396 00:13:23,437 --> 00:13:25,339 Let me tell you, if somebody my size would date you, 397 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,007 we would literally pick you up. 398 00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:30,410 That's exactly why I be dating women your size. 399 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,179 Go on, Ms. Pat. 400 00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:35,582 MS. PAT: All right. 401 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,384 Get to bailiff-ing, bailiff. 402 00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:40,921 This is the case of McCray versus Ellis. 403 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,356 ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff William McCray is suing 404 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:46,426 his ex-situationship, Alexandria, for $2,300. 405 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,029 He says he paid for her to move in with him 406 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,164 and then she took advantage of his kindness. 407 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,467 Got a collar like Popeye the Sailor man. 408 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,337 ANNOUNCER: Defendant Alexandria Ellis admits 409 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,540 he paid for things, but says they were gifts, 410 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,975 so why should she be paying him back? 411 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,011 Plus, William crashed her car, 412 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:07,080 so she's countersuing for $1,500. 413 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,650 If he pays for the wreck, she says they'll be even. 414 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,518 ...and nothing but the truth, so help you, God? 415 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:12,986 - I do. - I do. 416 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,454 MS. PAT: Tell me why you're here, William. 417 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:18,091 I'm suing my ex-situationship for $2,300 418 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:21,595 for a move since I tried to take it to the next level. 419 00:14:21,662 --> 00:14:23,196 She pretty much debted me on that. 420 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:26,233 So I'm here to get back what I lost financially 421 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,035 and lost emotionally today. 422 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,037 - Alex, tell me your side. - Yes, Your Honor. 423 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,406 So I'm here because Mr. McCray is suing me 424 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:36,009 for what he calls moving costs that he offered to help. 425 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,078 I moved from New York. He paid for everything. 426 00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,279 Everything was a gift. 427 00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,448 The drive, the U-Haul. 428 00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:43,083 We've never had a relationship. 429 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,985 We've always known each other for over 20 years. 430 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,486 But I'm also countersuing him. 431 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,588 He crashed my car. 432 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,923 And I had to come out of my pocket $1500. 433 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,124 - $1500? Okay. - Yes, ma'am. 434 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,593 What did you move into, his house? 435 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,094 To his house. 436 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,396 He offered for me to stay to get myself together, 437 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:58,031 look for a job. 438 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,000 I provided the groceries. 439 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,568 - I had my own room. - William, did you know 440 00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:03,370 that she was moving in the other room? 441 00:15:03,437 --> 00:15:05,439 Yeah. I offered it to her. 442 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:06,873 How long were you living with William? 443 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,108 Six months. 444 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,643 Did he tell you if you had to pay any rent? 445 00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:10,978 No, ma'am. 446 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,579 William, why did you help Alex move? 447 00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:14,548 I helped her move because, you know, 448 00:15:14,615 --> 00:15:17,217 I'm a good person and she had reached out one day. 449 00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,919 She said, "I want to get out of this place." 450 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,120 I was like, come down this weekend. 451 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,022 Come see if you really like Atlanta. 452 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,557 MS. PAT: And you took her all the way 453 00:15:23,624 --> 00:15:24,625 - from New York to Atlanta? - Yes. 454 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,660 - Do you have proof? - Yes. 455 00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:28,395 Why would you move her from New York? 456 00:15:28,462 --> 00:15:30,230 There's plenty of women in Atlanta. 457 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:31,565 We were friends. 458 00:15:31,632 --> 00:15:33,567 You could have stayed your friendly ass in the Bronx. 459 00:15:33,634 --> 00:15:36,470 [laughter] 460 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:37,504 He was dropping money. 461 00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:39,673 - Goodness. -I had to pay the movers, 462 00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,274 - plus gas. - MS. PAT: Let me see that. 463 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,276 WILLIAM: Roughly around like, $2300. 464 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,612 - I see what you were spending. - But want his money back. 465 00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:47,214 I would have wanted my money back, too. 466 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,915 Don't work like that, though. 467 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,550 MS. PAT: So you all in a relationship? 468 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,119 WOMAN: No. No, this is my friend. 469 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,221 Did you sponsor the move because you wanted 470 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,589 to be in a relationship? 471 00:15:55,656 --> 00:15:58,258 No and yes, if that's possible. 472 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,293 - No, it's not. - Well... 473 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,495 You have sex? 474 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:02,929 No, not at that time. 475 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,465 - At that time? - ALL: Ooh... 476 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,633 One-night stand. 477 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,869 You did a one-night stand with this man 478 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,070 - in his own house? - Yes. 479 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:11,638 Did you ever go back for more? 480 00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:18,078 ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff William McCray 481 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:21,048 is suing his ex-situationship Alexandria 482 00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:24,385 for $2,300, claiming she led him on. 483 00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:28,355 The defendant, Alexandria Ellis, is countersuing for $1,500 484 00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,324 after William crashed her car. 485 00:16:30,391 --> 00:16:33,494 Ms. Pat is ready to settle this wreck of a case. 486 00:16:33,561 --> 00:16:34,728 You have sex? 487 00:16:34,795 --> 00:16:36,196 No, not at that time. 488 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:37,431 At that time? 489 00:16:37,498 --> 00:16:39,600 - One-night stand. - ALL: Ooh... 490 00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,969 You did a one-night stand with this man 491 00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:43,370 - in his own house? - Yes. 492 00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,972 Did you ever go back for more? 493 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,442 It must have been horrible. 494 00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:51,111 [laughter] 495 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,247 It must have been horrible. 496 00:16:53,314 --> 00:16:55,015 MS. PAT: For a woman to not go back, 497 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,617 she called somebody and said, "Nah." 498 00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:59,987 [laughter] 499 00:17:00,054 --> 00:17:01,555 All right, let's get to the car. 500 00:17:01,622 --> 00:17:03,557 You're suing him. What happened to your car? 501 00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:05,192 He asked me, could he use my car 502 00:17:05,259 --> 00:17:06,327 while I was out of town. 503 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,529 I said, of course, because we're friends. 504 00:17:08,596 --> 00:17:11,498 And I got a phone call from my insurance 505 00:17:11,565 --> 00:17:13,334 that he crashed my car. 506 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,235 He didn't even call and tell me that he did that. 507 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,137 So what type of friend is that? 508 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,039 So now you know how it feels doing 509 00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,774 a hit and run the way you did him. 510 00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:25,279 Do you have any evidence? 511 00:17:25,346 --> 00:17:26,480 Yes, I do, Your Honor. 512 00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:28,215 I have photos. 513 00:17:28,282 --> 00:17:30,451 CARMEN: Oh, girl, you could get a plunger and fix that. 514 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,252 [laughter] 515 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,254 Well, I'm gonna go on over here to my jury. 516 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,156 Come on, Safaree, tell me what you think. 517 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,558 This is a good man, right here, 518 00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:39,026 and she knew that, 519 00:17:39,093 --> 00:17:40,594 and she took advantage of him. 520 00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:41,629 Like, look, come on. 521 00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:43,631 A girl know they could get over on him. 522 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:49,136 You know what you're doing, because we all done did it. 523 00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,405 And another thing is, if you see a sucker, 524 00:17:51,472 --> 00:17:52,439 go and get a lick, then. 525 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,741 I also believe that. 526 00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:55,909 However, he's your friend, though. 527 00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:57,578 You don't do that to your friend. 528 00:17:57,645 --> 00:17:59,046 She was a good friend to me. 529 00:17:59,113 --> 00:18:01,348 It's not all about receiving sometimes. 530 00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:03,150 - It's sometimes about... - Bro, stop. 531 00:18:03,217 --> 00:18:04,518 - [laughter] - She don't like you. 532 00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:06,487 She don't like you. 533 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:09,223 Goddamn, Karlous! 534 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,191 You need to listen to some DMX. 535 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:16,430 Okay, I've come to my final decision, 536 00:18:16,497 --> 00:18:18,632 and I'm going to settle this once and for all. 537 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,270 I'm ruling in the favor of... 538 00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:27,274 ...the plaintiff, William. 539 00:18:27,341 --> 00:18:30,177 [applause] 540 00:18:30,244 --> 00:18:34,381 Alex, you're ordered to pay William $2300. 541 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,683 And let me tell you why. 542 00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:37,351 Because you stayed at that man's house 543 00:18:37,418 --> 00:18:39,653 for six months, and you don't treat him right. 544 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,389 As far as your $1500 countersuit, 545 00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:43,557 it's denied. 546 00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:46,260 Because that man went above and beyond for you. 547 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,062 You led him on. 548 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,130 You don't lead people on. If you don't want him, 549 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,598 then you shouldn't have moved out here. 550 00:18:51,665 --> 00:18:53,033 Keep your head up, brother. 551 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,501 All women ain't like her. 552 00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:55,536 I appreciate it. 553 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,371 Shit, they take you to CVS 554 00:18:57,438 --> 00:18:58,572 and fill in that little hole, right there, 555 00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:01,075 you're going to be all right. 556 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,342 I just settled it. 557 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,178 CARMEN: All right, y'all... 558 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,046 KARLOUS: All right, y'all, get the hell out. 559 00:19:06,113 --> 00:19:07,715 Get your ass out of here. 560 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,486 You hear most people speak on relationship, 561 00:19:12,553 --> 00:19:14,054 it's 50-50 now. 562 00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:15,389 Well, I've been married for 32 years, 563 00:19:15,456 --> 00:19:16,490 it wasn't no 50-50. 564 00:19:16,557 --> 00:19:19,426 My husband paid all my Section 8 rent. 565 00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:21,995 All $9 of it. 566 00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:23,597 It was $39. 567 00:19:27,468 --> 00:19:29,770 - Did she give you $2500? - She did. 568 00:19:29,837 --> 00:19:31,205 Did she have to pay you back for that? 569 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,173 I mean, I borrowed it from somebody. 570 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,708 - KARLOUS: From who? - So you owe somebody else 571 00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:36,510 some money, too? 572 00:19:36,577 --> 00:19:39,780 She purposely glued my lashes together. 573 00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:42,182 - She has sperm in her eyes. - What the hell? 574 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,485 She's the realest mother [bleep] I've ever met in my life. 575 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:47,054 MAN: She borrowed $875 from me. 576 00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:49,623 - I found out it was for a BBL. - PLAINTIFF: Man, be quiet. 577 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,291 you need to pay to get your knees done. 578 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,527 They already pleading guilty. Knocking on each other. 579 00:19:53,594 --> 00:19:55,095 [laughter]