1 00:00:06,626 --> 00:00:10,959 [plaintive string music playing] 2 00:00:11,043 --> 00:00:13,376 [snoring] 3 00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:20,918 [snoring] 4 00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:22,418 [keys jingling] 5 00:00:22,501 --> 00:00:23,918 [lock clicking] 6 00:00:24,001 --> 00:00:25,501 [door opens] 7 00:00:36,584 --> 00:00:38,876 -[music fades] -[snoring continues] 8 00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:48,751 [teen 1] Do you think dogs have names for us? 9 00:00:48,834 --> 00:00:50,418 [teen 2] Whooooa. 10 00:00:50,501 --> 00:00:53,293 Is that what they're saying? Our names? 11 00:00:53,376 --> 00:00:55,168 Our real names? 12 00:00:55,251 --> 00:00:56,459 [dog yipping happily] 13 00:00:57,418 --> 00:00:59,543 -[yipping continues] -No, I'm good. 14 00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,293 Thanks. 15 00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:04,626 -[plaintive string music resumes] -[Eric snoring] 16 00:01:11,209 --> 00:01:13,084 [fireworks booming] 17 00:01:31,334 --> 00:01:35,334 …the ten-year-old believed to possess the last Hershey bar on Earth. 18 00:01:37,543 --> 00:01:39,126 [Eric snoring] 19 00:01:40,084 --> 00:01:42,251 [faint squeaking] 20 00:01:53,459 --> 00:01:55,334 -[music halts] -[snoring] 21 00:01:56,168 --> 00:01:57,751 [snorts, gasps] 22 00:01:57,834 --> 00:01:59,418 [Eric gasping] 23 00:01:59,501 --> 00:02:00,959 I'm moving in with Mom. 24 00:02:01,043 --> 00:02:01,959 [Eric] Huh? 25 00:02:02,709 --> 00:02:03,626 Wait. 26 00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:04,793 Your mom? 27 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:06,668 [door shuts] 28 00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:09,001 Steven, you know where your mom is? 29 00:02:09,084 --> 00:02:12,084 -Steven, you know where she is? -[dramatic string music playing] 30 00:02:12,168 --> 00:02:13,334 Steven! 31 00:02:13,418 --> 00:02:14,501 Steven! 32 00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:17,751 What day is it? 33 00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,959 [music crescendoes, fades] 34 00:02:21,334 --> 00:02:22,959 Wait, I… [sighs] 35 00:02:23,626 --> 00:02:25,084 I… I don't understand. 36 00:02:25,168 --> 00:02:27,751 -Your mother okayed this? -It was her idea. 37 00:02:28,418 --> 00:02:31,501 Wait, so… she's coming here? 38 00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,418 No, I'm going to her. 39 00:02:34,043 --> 00:02:34,959 How? 40 00:02:35,043 --> 00:02:37,084 I don't know. The bus? 41 00:02:37,168 --> 00:02:38,293 The bus? 42 00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:41,043 I'm not letting you go all the way to… [splutters] 43 00:02:41,126 --> 00:02:42,418 Where the heck is she, anyway? 44 00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:44,334 [grunts] Canada. 45 00:02:44,418 --> 00:02:45,334 Canada?! 46 00:02:45,418 --> 00:02:47,084 She's in Canada? 47 00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,543 What's in Canada? 48 00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:50,834 Is it a man? 49 00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:52,543 No, forget it. Don't tell me. 50 00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:56,126 I'm not letting you go to Canada alone on a bus. 51 00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:58,584 -You're still a kid. -It's not that hard. 52 00:02:59,084 --> 00:03:00,751 I thought you liked it here. 53 00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:02,543 What is there to like? 54 00:03:02,626 --> 00:03:03,918 I don't know. 55 00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:07,459 Your house, your dad, your room? Uh… 56 00:03:07,543 --> 00:03:10,084 What about that kid who stayed over once? Uh… 57 00:03:10,168 --> 00:03:11,709 The one with all the allergies? 58 00:03:12,376 --> 00:03:13,543 Your whole world is here! 59 00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,126 And now my world will be in Canada. 60 00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:21,793 If that's what you really want, 61 00:03:21,876 --> 00:03:23,918 I'm not gonna stop you, but I'm driving. 62 00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:25,959 And I don't want to hear another word. 63 00:03:26,043 --> 00:03:26,876 Fine. 64 00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,543 I can't believe it. 65 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,543 You sure you want to do this? 66 00:03:32,626 --> 00:03:35,543 All right. I'll go make us some sandwiches. 67 00:03:37,626 --> 00:03:40,543 [somber music playing] 68 00:03:44,584 --> 00:03:47,126 [man on radio] …citing weather as the cause. 69 00:03:47,209 --> 00:03:49,376 [radio signal warbling] 70 00:03:49,459 --> 00:03:51,793 [man on radio] …further delays in the rescue of… 71 00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:52,834 [static crackling] 72 00:03:52,918 --> 00:03:54,793 [man on radio] …still stranded at sea. 73 00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:56,501 [gulls squawking] 74 00:04:00,376 --> 00:04:03,543 [Bernard] That captain seemed like such a nice man. 75 00:04:03,626 --> 00:04:05,126 I don't understand it. 76 00:04:05,209 --> 00:04:07,126 Must have been something he had to do. 77 00:04:07,209 --> 00:04:08,168 [Pauline] Ah-ha! 78 00:04:08,251 --> 00:04:10,043 -[Bernard] What is it? -A Danish. 79 00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:12,084 Ugh. I hate Danishes. 80 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:15,168 Well, you have to eat something, and everything else is spoiled. 81 00:04:15,251 --> 00:04:16,459 They're too sweet. 82 00:04:16,543 --> 00:04:19,668 Michael, will you please talk some sense into this man? 83 00:04:19,751 --> 00:04:21,751 Come on, we'll split it. 84 00:04:23,043 --> 00:04:26,334 The nerve of that chef to run off after we've already been abandoned by-- 85 00:04:26,418 --> 00:04:29,918 -[woman] Oh my God! Look! -It's the Coast Guard! We're saved! 86 00:04:30,001 --> 00:04:31,584 [cheering] 87 00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:34,501 [ominous music playing] 88 00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:39,251 [Michael] I don't think that's the Coast Guard. 89 00:04:43,168 --> 00:04:45,293 [suspenseful music playing] 90 00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:47,709 -[pirate 1 speaking Somali] Let's go! -Round them all up! 91 00:04:47,793 --> 00:04:51,168 The cruise has made them slow and complacent. 92 00:04:51,251 --> 00:04:53,709 [pirate 2] Holy shit, a water slide! 93 00:04:54,918 --> 00:04:56,334 [fireworks booming] 94 00:04:56,418 --> 00:05:00,209 [gentle ambient music playing] 95 00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:09,501 [Eric] Uh, Steven? 96 00:05:10,334 --> 00:05:13,501 I really want you to think about what you're doing here, okay? 97 00:05:14,334 --> 00:05:15,959 'Cause this is a big move, buster. 98 00:05:16,043 --> 00:05:19,834 The moment we get into that car and pull out, there's no going back. 99 00:05:19,918 --> 00:05:23,334 All right, so… so think about the bonds that you've built here. 100 00:05:23,418 --> 00:05:25,459 -[car horn blaring] -In our home. 101 00:05:25,543 --> 00:05:28,918 'Cause once you leave here, they'll be broken forever. 102 00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:30,126 [blaring continues] 103 00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:32,168 And look, I know how it feels to be confused. 104 00:05:32,251 --> 00:05:33,876 I was a kid once too. 105 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,959 Dad. You're taking forever. 106 00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:37,876 -Oh, I thought you-- -Are you coming or not? 107 00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:39,751 Yeah. Sorry. 108 00:05:42,918 --> 00:05:44,543 [car engine turns over] 109 00:05:44,626 --> 00:05:46,834 All right. So where are we going? 110 00:05:47,626 --> 00:05:49,293 Niagara Falls. 111 00:05:49,876 --> 00:05:51,459 Niagara Falls? 112 00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:54,959 -[pop music plays faintly on headphones] -Oh, um, I thought we could… 113 00:05:55,043 --> 00:05:56,293 Okay. 114 00:05:58,209 --> 00:05:59,209 Okay. 115 00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:04,793 Well, Niagara Falls, here we come. 116 00:06:04,876 --> 00:06:07,459 [somber string music playing] 117 00:06:19,043 --> 00:06:20,168 Steven? 118 00:06:20,251 --> 00:06:24,793 When you see your mother, I want you to give her this, okay? 119 00:06:26,209 --> 00:06:27,126 Please? 120 00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:38,126 [motorcycle engines revving] 121 00:06:42,293 --> 00:06:44,376 [horn honking] 122 00:06:44,959 --> 00:06:46,334 -You see that? -What? 123 00:06:46,418 --> 00:06:47,418 The nuns! 124 00:06:48,584 --> 00:06:50,043 They were right there. 125 00:06:54,001 --> 00:06:54,834 Hey. 126 00:06:56,668 --> 00:06:58,584 Steven, Steven, Steven. 127 00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:00,626 Steven! 128 00:07:01,584 --> 00:07:03,168 [chuckles] Talk to me. 129 00:07:03,251 --> 00:07:04,209 [Steven grumbles] 130 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,168 -What? -Talk to me. 131 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,293 About what? 132 00:07:07,376 --> 00:07:09,709 I don't know, anything. Just talk to me. 133 00:07:10,918 --> 00:07:12,251 You want to talk girls? 134 00:07:13,251 --> 00:07:14,793 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 135 00:07:14,876 --> 00:07:16,876 Talk to me. Aren't you bored? 136 00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:17,793 No. 137 00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:19,168 Okay, well… 138 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:23,043 -Uh, what are you listening to? -Music. 139 00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:25,876 -Yeah. But, like, what type? -You wouldn't like it. 140 00:07:25,959 --> 00:07:27,834 -Oh, try me. -Ugh! 141 00:07:28,626 --> 00:07:31,293 [discordant electronic music playing] 142 00:07:31,376 --> 00:07:33,001 Yeah, I don't like that. 143 00:07:33,084 --> 00:07:34,459 How about we just talk? 144 00:07:34,543 --> 00:07:36,209 [huffs] Now he wants to talk. 145 00:07:36,751 --> 00:07:37,584 [sighs] 146 00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:39,418 Look, this is hard for me too. 147 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,834 All this is a lot. 148 00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:44,168 None of this was supposed to happen. 149 00:07:44,251 --> 00:07:47,418 And being a dad on top of that? [sighs] 150 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,126 It's a guessing game. 151 00:07:50,334 --> 00:07:51,168 Steven! 152 00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:54,709 -Steven! -What? 153 00:07:54,793 --> 00:07:57,376 -Did you hear any of that? -Of what? 154 00:07:57,459 --> 00:07:59,168 Of what I just said? 155 00:07:59,251 --> 00:08:00,793 No. What did you just say? 156 00:08:00,876 --> 00:08:04,501 I was talking about how, you know, 157 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:05,876 life gets tough. 158 00:08:06,376 --> 00:08:08,418 And I'm your dad and stuff. 159 00:08:09,043 --> 00:08:11,418 It… It sounded better the first time. 160 00:08:15,043 --> 00:08:16,793 You know, I almost named you Henry. 161 00:08:16,876 --> 00:08:17,751 What? 162 00:08:17,834 --> 00:08:19,418 I always wanted to be a Henry. 163 00:08:20,293 --> 00:08:22,459 I feel like it would've made things easier. 164 00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:23,959 For the both of us. 165 00:08:27,918 --> 00:08:31,084 Not that your mother isn't wonderful, but she left us. 166 00:08:31,168 --> 00:08:35,626 Ran off like a thief in the night. You expect her not to do it again? 167 00:08:35,709 --> 00:08:36,834 She's not going to. 168 00:08:36,918 --> 00:08:38,126 You don't know that. 169 00:08:38,209 --> 00:08:39,501 She's happy now. 170 00:08:39,584 --> 00:08:40,709 She is? 171 00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:44,709 Yeah. Lost, like, ten pounds, and has a dog named Murphy Brown, 172 00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:47,168 and makes large metal sculptures in the woods. 173 00:08:47,251 --> 00:08:48,793 She makes sculptures? 174 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:51,084 Of what? 175 00:08:51,168 --> 00:08:53,626 I don't know. They're abstract. 176 00:08:53,709 --> 00:08:55,793 With the squiggles? 177 00:08:57,626 --> 00:08:59,168 Squiggles… 178 00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:03,543 Well, good for her. She's always been the creative type. 179 00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:06,376 Could have made squiggles at home, but… 180 00:09:07,209 --> 00:09:08,168 [sniffles] 181 00:09:09,043 --> 00:09:10,293 I'm happy for her. 182 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,543 I would never leave you. 183 00:09:14,293 --> 00:09:16,001 I want you to know that. Never. 184 00:09:16,084 --> 00:09:18,293 I thought you would never leave the couch either. 185 00:09:18,376 --> 00:09:20,543 Hey, that's not fair. 186 00:09:21,084 --> 00:09:24,584 Dad, this is the first time in weeks I've seen you in pants. 187 00:09:24,668 --> 00:09:26,376 What does that have to do with anything? 188 00:09:26,459 --> 00:09:29,334 My pants are not the issue here. Your mother is the issue. 189 00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:33,043 -Wha… What are you looking for? -The sandwiches. 190 00:09:33,126 --> 00:09:34,251 Oh, I didn't… 191 00:09:35,084 --> 00:09:36,418 We didn't have bread. 192 00:09:38,418 --> 00:09:40,251 We'll stop and pick something up. 193 00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:50,043 [Vivaldi's "Stabat Mater" playing] 194 00:10:06,084 --> 00:10:08,959 [baroque music crescendoes, fades] 195 00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:11,501 [wind whistling softly] 196 00:10:14,626 --> 00:10:15,793 What do you have there? 197 00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:19,168 Some chips, soda… Trail mix? 198 00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:20,459 Put that back. 199 00:10:20,959 --> 00:10:23,043 Dried banana chips and nuts? 200 00:10:23,126 --> 00:10:24,668 Let me tell you something. 201 00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:26,834 These are trash. Okay? 202 00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:28,084 Impulse snacks. 203 00:10:28,168 --> 00:10:30,668 Plus the blend is all wrong. Nope. 204 00:10:30,751 --> 00:10:33,626 In this family, we make our own mix. 205 00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:36,584 Dad, I'm not eating out of a garbage bag. 206 00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:38,334 Trust me. It's clean. 207 00:10:39,834 --> 00:10:42,501 There is a science to a good mix 208 00:10:42,584 --> 00:10:44,334 and it has none of that crap. 209 00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:47,293 A good mix starts with a good base. 210 00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:51,918 I always go for the Chicago style blend. Caramel and cheddar popcorn. 211 00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:55,709 Has a little of everything, the sweet and the savory. 212 00:10:57,751 --> 00:10:59,001 Popcorn is a great base, 213 00:10:59,084 --> 00:11:02,668 but it's the type of snack that wants you to shove handfuls into your mouth, 214 00:11:02,751 --> 00:11:05,376 so what you need now is something to slow you down. 215 00:11:05,459 --> 00:11:08,418 Speed bumps, something with a crunch. 216 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,668 Corn nuts, Combos, wafers. 217 00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:13,543 That feels like a lot of stuff. 218 00:11:13,626 --> 00:11:15,251 Oh, my boy. 219 00:11:16,584 --> 00:11:18,834 We are not even close to being done here. 220 00:11:19,793 --> 00:11:22,168 Now that we have our crunch, we need something chewy, 221 00:11:22,251 --> 00:11:25,334 like gummy bears or anything in the gummy family. 222 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,459 Fish, worms, sour, et cetera. 223 00:11:27,543 --> 00:11:28,543 Okay. 224 00:11:28,626 --> 00:11:32,834 So now you have your chew, crunch, and that slow mouth dissolve. 225 00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,668 Amateurs would stop right here. 226 00:11:34,751 --> 00:11:37,043 Most people would have stopped at the garbage bag. 227 00:11:37,126 --> 00:11:38,334 Steven… 228 00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:41,918 I'm trying to teach you the difference between a good mix 229 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:42,876 and a great one. 230 00:11:43,793 --> 00:11:47,084 Dad, it really just looks like you're throwing food out. 231 00:11:47,668 --> 00:11:49,751 What do you think I've been doing on the couch? 232 00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:53,084 -Crying? -Not just crying. 233 00:11:53,709 --> 00:11:56,209 -Moaning? -Okay, yeah. 234 00:11:56,293 --> 00:12:00,793 But I've also been perfecting this. 235 00:12:00,876 --> 00:12:01,959 Trust me. 236 00:12:02,043 --> 00:12:05,043 We have the sweet, sour, and salty, 237 00:12:05,126 --> 00:12:08,043 but we are forgetting two important flavor profiles. 238 00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:10,751 The bitter and the umami. 239 00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:13,418 I like to go with dark cocoa for my bitter, 240 00:12:13,501 --> 00:12:17,376 and for umami, Doritos are my go-to. 241 00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:20,626 Smash those up for me, son. 242 00:12:20,709 --> 00:12:23,251 [crinkling] 243 00:12:23,334 --> 00:12:26,043 [Eric] Come on, don't be shy. The finer, the better. 244 00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:31,334 And now we shake it up. 245 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,501 [grunting] 246 00:12:32,584 --> 00:12:33,543 [Steven chuckles] 247 00:12:33,626 --> 00:12:35,084 [Steven laughs] 248 00:12:36,084 --> 00:12:37,251 [both chuckling] 249 00:12:37,334 --> 00:12:38,959 [Steven] Dad, you look insane. 250 00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:42,751 Trust me. This is the only way to properly disperse the flavors. 251 00:12:43,334 --> 00:12:44,709 [sighs] 252 00:12:44,793 --> 00:12:45,626 Okay. 253 00:12:46,251 --> 00:12:48,918 Now we give it a taste. 254 00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:54,376 -This is actually pretty good. -See? 255 00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:59,501 When it comes to flavors, nothing is ever too salty or too sweet. 256 00:12:59,584 --> 00:13:01,834 It's just missing its opposite component. 257 00:13:02,501 --> 00:13:04,001 And we won't get sick? 258 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,668 Oh, we will. 259 00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:08,126 But you're young and that's not the point of the mix. 260 00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:10,709 Flavor first, then we deal with the other stuff later. 261 00:13:11,668 --> 00:13:14,334 -You know what would be good with this? -What? 262 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:15,459 Slushies. 263 00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:16,751 [chuckles] 264 00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:18,543 Now you're thinking. 265 00:13:23,251 --> 00:13:24,834 [slurping loudly] 266 00:13:27,293 --> 00:13:29,918 -[ominous music playing] -[automatic gunfire] 267 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:32,626 Oh, God! We're doomed. 268 00:13:37,376 --> 00:13:41,168 Even if you got a ransom for us, what good would it be? 269 00:13:41,251 --> 00:13:42,876 Money's been worthless for months. 270 00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:45,001 We are not interested in money. 271 00:13:45,084 --> 00:13:46,418 Then what do you want? 272 00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:52,418 The life of a pirate, it is a very harsh life. 273 00:13:53,918 --> 00:13:56,959 It is a life of cruelty and pain. 274 00:13:57,709 --> 00:14:00,918 -[thunder clapping] -[automatic gunfire] 275 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:02,959 [Bashiir] We take from others 276 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,251 what we have been deprived ourselves. 277 00:14:10,959 --> 00:14:14,918 Before the planet, it was wealth and valuables. 278 00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:17,001 [inaudible] 279 00:14:24,918 --> 00:14:26,501 [Bashiir] But now… 280 00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:30,918 Now we take what has been missing from our lives at sea. 281 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:35,584 Rest, relaxation, 282 00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:37,626 fun in the sun. 283 00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:39,543 [lively electronic music playing] 284 00:14:39,626 --> 00:14:42,834 [Bashiir] Large drinks with pieces of fruit on the rim. 285 00:14:42,918 --> 00:14:44,251 Some of them blue. 286 00:14:44,959 --> 00:14:49,668 The pirate's life, it did not provide such things, 287 00:14:49,751 --> 00:14:52,126 so now we take them. 288 00:14:53,751 --> 00:14:58,626 Moments of peace and joy from lives we never lived. 289 00:15:04,584 --> 00:15:06,168 [laughing and cheering] 290 00:15:06,876 --> 00:15:11,126 [Bashiir] For a pirate, these are most precious things. 291 00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:13,584 Good times. 292 00:15:14,251 --> 00:15:15,918 Limbo contests. 293 00:15:16,418 --> 00:15:18,168 Chocolate fountains. 294 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,626 A vacation. 295 00:15:21,168 --> 00:15:24,251 [in Somali] This is why we have seized your ship... 296 00:15:24,334 --> 00:15:26,501 ...so that we may know tranquility... 297 00:15:26,584 --> 00:15:28,293 ...before it is too late. 298 00:15:29,043 --> 00:15:31,043 [in English] Well, if you let us go, 299 00:15:31,126 --> 00:15:35,043 I'm sure all of us would be fine with you guys enjoying the cruise, right? 300 00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:37,209 -I don't see why not. -Totally. 301 00:15:37,293 --> 00:15:40,084 -You guys should totally join us. -Too crowded. 302 00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:43,293 -Sorry? -Too many people in the wave pool. 303 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,251 Long lines for the water slide. 304 00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:48,001 -That would not be fun at all. -[weapon cocks] 305 00:15:48,084 --> 00:15:49,751 [in Somali] Get back! Go! 306 00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:52,584 [in English] Well, it was worth a shot. 307 00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:56,334 [suspenseful music swells, fades] 308 00:15:56,418 --> 00:15:58,418 [soft guitar music playing] 309 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,334 Oh! Isn't it great? 310 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,626 God, I love the open road. 311 00:16:03,709 --> 00:16:06,918 Two lanes that can take us anywhere. 312 00:16:07,418 --> 00:16:11,168 Okay. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 313 00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:13,626 Um… Niagara Falls? 314 00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:14,543 Oh. 315 00:16:15,543 --> 00:16:17,084 Yeah. Your mother. 316 00:16:17,626 --> 00:16:19,126 That's the allure of the road. 317 00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:21,751 Sometimes you forget where you're even going. 318 00:16:22,501 --> 00:16:23,543 Niagara Falls. 319 00:16:26,543 --> 00:16:29,418 You know, I have skills other than making snacks. 320 00:16:30,126 --> 00:16:33,043 Plenty of stuff I can pass down to you. 321 00:16:33,584 --> 00:16:38,626 Like, how to fold a bedsheet, or iron a pair of slacks, 322 00:16:38,709 --> 00:16:41,501 or how to change a tire, or fry the perfect egg. 323 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,293 I also know how to tie a Windsor knot and what not to say at a wedding. 324 00:16:45,376 --> 00:16:47,418 And how to get out of a fight. 325 00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:48,793 Um, let's see. 326 00:16:48,876 --> 00:16:51,376 Uh, I can draw a pretty good duck. 327 00:16:51,459 --> 00:16:54,918 And once I put a whole dresser together without looking at the instructions. 328 00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:56,543 Anyway, just… 329 00:16:57,084 --> 00:17:02,376 If you ever need to know any of that stuff, you just call me up. 330 00:17:03,751 --> 00:17:04,751 Okay, Dad. 331 00:17:05,751 --> 00:17:07,626 ["Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead playing] 332 00:17:07,709 --> 00:17:09,418 [Eric sings along] ♪ Truckin' ♪ 333 00:17:09,501 --> 00:17:11,334 -♪ Like the doo-dah man ♪ -[Steven laughs] 334 00:17:11,418 --> 00:17:15,168 ♪ Once told me You've got to play your hand ♪ 335 00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:19,084 ♪ Sometimes the cards ain't worth a dime ♪ 336 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:23,459 ♪ If you don't lay 'em down ♪ 337 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,751 [chuckling] 338 00:17:26,668 --> 00:17:28,126 [both inhale sharply] 339 00:17:30,626 --> 00:17:33,251 [both exhale, laugh] 340 00:17:33,334 --> 00:17:37,084 I snuck vodka out the liquor cabinet! 341 00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:39,626 That's it! Let the wind blow it away. 342 00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:43,584 I've stolen out of your wallet and forged your signature! 343 00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:48,168 [both singing along] ♪ Truckin' ♪ 344 00:17:48,251 --> 00:17:50,001 ♪ Got my chips cashed in ♪ 345 00:17:50,084 --> 00:17:54,209 ♪ Keep truckin' Like the doo-dah man ♪ 346 00:17:54,293 --> 00:17:58,168 ♪ Together More or less in line ♪ 347 00:17:58,251 --> 00:18:02,668 ♪ Just keep truckin' on ♪ 348 00:18:09,126 --> 00:18:10,418 [music fades] 349 00:18:13,376 --> 00:18:15,126 Are you still in love with Mom? 350 00:18:16,751 --> 00:18:19,293 Yeah. She was my first. 351 00:18:21,459 --> 00:18:23,126 I wasn't her first. 352 00:18:24,084 --> 00:18:25,584 In case you were wondering. 353 00:18:25,668 --> 00:18:26,668 I wasn't. 354 00:18:28,459 --> 00:18:30,709 [lively string music playing] 355 00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:32,751 It's all because I told Margaret, 356 00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:35,751 and when Margaret knows anything, she tells Stephanie. 357 00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:39,209 And Stephanie is friends with Amanda, and they always go over to Charlotte's, 358 00:18:39,293 --> 00:18:43,418 and two weeks ago, guess who happened to be there? Lucy! 359 00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:46,834 And Lucy is best friends with Tiffany, who I don't even know, 360 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:48,918 but she knows Kate from Hebrew school, 361 00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:51,376 and Kate knows Hillary, who sees Jennifer every day, 362 00:18:51,459 --> 00:18:53,793 and Jennifer, the big blabbermouth, 363 00:18:53,876 --> 00:18:57,293 and Louise told her she thought I was nice. 364 00:18:57,376 --> 00:18:59,876 But not nice in the way you want to kiss. 365 00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:01,459 Or go steady with. 366 00:19:02,251 --> 00:19:03,501 It was a whole thing. 367 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,459 -Which one was it you liked again? -Louise, Dad! 368 00:19:07,543 --> 00:19:08,918 Thanks for driving. 369 00:19:09,001 --> 00:19:11,043 I didn't realize how far it was gonna be. 370 00:19:11,126 --> 00:19:12,334 This is nothing. 371 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:15,418 And don't worry. We'll be there before you know it. 372 00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:16,626 Great. [chuckles] 373 00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:25,709 [thunder rumbling] 374 00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:28,209 [rain pattering] 375 00:19:31,084 --> 00:19:32,418 [tinkling softly] 376 00:19:33,418 --> 00:19:37,168 [high, random piano notes being played] 377 00:19:38,418 --> 00:19:40,043 Should we call Carol? 378 00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:42,209 We've already said goodbye, honey. 379 00:19:42,293 --> 00:19:43,543 I miss her. 380 00:19:44,043 --> 00:19:45,751 I miss Elena. 381 00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:47,584 We'll get through this. I promise. 382 00:19:47,668 --> 00:19:49,959 Sorry, your love is… 383 00:19:50,584 --> 00:19:52,126 It's a beautiful thing. 384 00:19:52,209 --> 00:19:54,251 Oh. Well, thank you. 385 00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:56,626 -You guys looking for a fourth or…? -[thunderclap] 386 00:19:58,126 --> 00:19:59,501 [all screaming] 387 00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:01,584 [grunts] 388 00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,126 [dramatic music playing] 389 00:20:04,751 --> 00:20:06,043 [both] Michael! 390 00:20:08,334 --> 00:20:09,501 [Michael and Bernard] Pauline! 391 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,709 [ship creaking] 392 00:20:13,584 --> 00:20:14,751 [Michael and Pauline] Bernard! 393 00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:20,501 [wheels squealing] 394 00:20:22,626 --> 00:20:23,459 [cocking] 395 00:20:23,543 --> 00:20:25,376 We're taking back our ship. 396 00:20:29,376 --> 00:20:30,251 [thunderclap] 397 00:20:33,626 --> 00:20:34,626 There they are! 398 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:38,501 Hey! This is our ship! You need to go. 399 00:20:38,584 --> 00:20:40,584 [yelling in Somali] 400 00:20:40,668 --> 00:20:43,001 -What did he say? -Three men fell overboard! 401 00:20:43,084 --> 00:20:44,876 They're trying to pull them back up. 402 00:20:49,251 --> 00:20:50,668 They're drowning! 403 00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:52,834 [pirate in Somali] Harder! 404 00:20:53,668 --> 00:20:54,501 Come on! 405 00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:56,418 [rope creaking] 406 00:20:57,626 --> 00:20:58,793 [dramatic music swells] 407 00:20:58,876 --> 00:20:59,709 Pull! 408 00:20:59,793 --> 00:21:01,626 [rope creaking] 409 00:21:02,168 --> 00:21:03,376 [pirate in Somali] Again! 410 00:21:04,209 --> 00:21:05,293 [pirates straining] 411 00:21:05,376 --> 00:21:10,043 [panting] I've always wondered what it would feel like to save someone's life. 412 00:21:10,126 --> 00:21:11,834 Quite exhilarating! 413 00:21:11,918 --> 00:21:12,834 Yes! 414 00:21:12,918 --> 00:21:13,834 Pull! 415 00:21:20,084 --> 00:21:21,168 [cheering] 416 00:21:21,251 --> 00:21:23,001 [wave whooshing] 417 00:21:26,959 --> 00:21:28,501 [in English] Take me to the bridge. 418 00:21:30,334 --> 00:21:32,543 Maybe we should go the other way? 419 00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:35,251 It is too fast, and we are too slow. 420 00:21:35,334 --> 00:21:36,543 So what do we do? 421 00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,126 -We go up. -Up? 422 00:21:38,834 --> 00:21:40,001 [pirate] Up. 423 00:21:43,543 --> 00:21:44,918 [man screaming] 424 00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:46,501 [screaming] 425 00:21:54,168 --> 00:21:55,251 [Bernard grunts] 426 00:21:57,418 --> 00:21:59,043 We're not gonna make it. 427 00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:01,793 Oh God. [sighs] 428 00:22:01,876 --> 00:22:03,293 We're not gonna make it. 429 00:22:03,376 --> 00:22:04,501 It's okay. 430 00:22:05,209 --> 00:22:08,209 Even if it's not, we're together. 431 00:22:09,168 --> 00:22:11,376 I love you, my darlings. 432 00:22:11,459 --> 00:22:13,334 I love you both so much. 433 00:22:22,918 --> 00:22:27,043 [music swells, fades] 434 00:22:31,043 --> 00:22:34,626 -[in Somali] Yeah! We're alive! -[all cheering] 435 00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:36,751 -[all laughing] -[man in English] Thank God! 436 00:22:37,376 --> 00:22:40,001 [insects chirping] 437 00:22:42,626 --> 00:22:44,918 [soft ambient music playing] 438 00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:47,293 How's your stomach? 439 00:22:47,376 --> 00:22:49,001 Fine. Yours? 440 00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:53,209 Not gonna lie. We're sleeping very close to a rest area for a reason. 441 00:22:53,293 --> 00:22:56,751 [chuckles] Dad, that's so gross. 442 00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,918 [both chuckling] 443 00:23:00,168 --> 00:23:02,543 Isn't this way better than riding the bus alone? 444 00:23:03,126 --> 00:23:04,501 Yeah. Way better. 445 00:23:05,001 --> 00:23:07,459 Anyway, time for bed. 446 00:23:07,543 --> 00:23:08,543 You ready? 447 00:23:09,668 --> 00:23:10,668 Yeah. 448 00:23:11,293 --> 00:23:12,501 Good night. 449 00:23:12,584 --> 00:23:13,418 Good night. 450 00:23:21,084 --> 00:23:24,918 -[Eric snoring] -[music fades] 451 00:23:33,876 --> 00:23:36,334 [soft piano music playing] 452 00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:40,834 [Eric] Dear Brooke, when I started writing this, 453 00:23:40,918 --> 00:23:44,001 I thought about all the things I could say to win you back. 454 00:23:46,126 --> 00:23:49,918 Like how I got really ripped and learned to fly a plane. 455 00:23:50,876 --> 00:23:52,626 But none of that is true. 456 00:23:53,251 --> 00:23:58,751 Brooke, you're the smartest, kindest, and most beautiful woman I've ever known, 457 00:23:59,251 --> 00:24:02,293 and the truth is I haven't been the same without you. 458 00:24:03,626 --> 00:24:06,418 But, really, that's not what this letter is about. 459 00:24:08,043 --> 00:24:11,293 Lately I've been thinking about when you first told me you were pregnant. 460 00:24:11,793 --> 00:24:16,126 I remember feeling so panicked, I thought I was going to die. 461 00:24:17,209 --> 00:24:21,293 But then we found out it was a boy, and all that went away. 462 00:24:22,209 --> 00:24:25,668 Right then, I knew I wasn't only getting a son, 463 00:24:25,751 --> 00:24:28,709 but maybe a new best friend. 464 00:24:29,334 --> 00:24:31,626 So when Steven told me he was leaving, 465 00:24:31,709 --> 00:24:35,459 I of course freaked out and said a bunch of dumb things like I usually do. 466 00:24:36,293 --> 00:24:38,668 Man, I've never felt so useless. 467 00:24:39,459 --> 00:24:42,543 Saying goodbye to him is going to torture me forever. 468 00:24:43,418 --> 00:24:45,043 My son is my only joy. 469 00:24:45,126 --> 00:24:47,834 He's my love, my pride, my bud. 470 00:24:48,501 --> 00:24:50,709 He's the only important thing I have, 471 00:24:51,334 --> 00:24:53,959 and I don't know how I'll live without him. 472 00:24:55,501 --> 00:24:57,709 We're about to get into the car now. 473 00:24:58,584 --> 00:25:01,918 Maybe I'll take a few detours and try and stretch this thing out, 474 00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:04,793 so don't get mad if we get there a little late. 475 00:25:06,418 --> 00:25:08,168 But whatever you do, 476 00:25:08,251 --> 00:25:12,376 please make sure you give him the best final months of his life. 477 00:25:13,209 --> 00:25:14,668 The kid deserves it. 478 00:25:15,918 --> 00:25:17,709 Love, Eric. 479 00:25:19,043 --> 00:25:20,501 [Eric snoring] 480 00:25:24,084 --> 00:25:26,126 Hey. What's up? 481 00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:30,418 Shoot. [sighs] You weren't supposed to-- 482 00:25:30,501 --> 00:25:31,626 I'm sorry. 483 00:25:31,709 --> 00:25:33,626 What? No, it's okay. 484 00:25:33,709 --> 00:25:35,209 Dad, I lied. 485 00:25:35,293 --> 00:25:37,168 I don't know where Mom is. 486 00:25:37,251 --> 00:25:39,251 I just knew you wanted to see her, 487 00:25:40,126 --> 00:25:41,668 and you were so… 488 00:25:42,751 --> 00:25:44,084 So, I… 489 00:25:47,126 --> 00:25:48,084 You're not mad? 490 00:25:48,751 --> 00:25:50,584 Why would I be mad? 491 00:25:51,084 --> 00:25:53,001 This is the happiest day of my life. 492 00:25:53,084 --> 00:25:54,709 I can't believe it! 493 00:25:54,793 --> 00:25:56,293 You're not leaving! 494 00:25:56,376 --> 00:26:00,418 Plus, the way you screwed up, it's exactly how I would have done it. 495 00:26:00,501 --> 00:26:02,084 I've never been prouder! 496 00:26:02,959 --> 00:26:05,668 [grunting] Dad, this kinda hurts. 497 00:26:05,751 --> 00:26:06,793 Please, 498 00:26:07,376 --> 00:26:08,584 let me have this. 499 00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:10,168 Okay. 500 00:26:17,793 --> 00:26:19,793 [birdsong] 501 00:26:22,751 --> 00:26:24,251 Thanks for taking us home. 502 00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:26,834 Don't know what we'd have done if you hadn't come along. 503 00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:28,501 Sorry about your cruise. 504 00:26:28,584 --> 00:26:30,709 Good to be back on solid ground. 505 00:26:30,793 --> 00:26:32,543 So, what's next? 506 00:26:32,626 --> 00:26:35,084 A road trip. [chuckles] 507 00:26:35,168 --> 00:26:36,501 Across America. 508 00:26:37,626 --> 00:26:39,418 [Bernard] Now, with the Grand Canyon, 509 00:26:39,501 --> 00:26:42,834 you got a choice between the North and South Rim. 510 00:26:42,918 --> 00:26:45,209 I recommend the North. 511 00:26:45,834 --> 00:26:46,668 Good luck. 512 00:26:47,293 --> 00:26:48,334 [in Somali] Good luck. 513 00:26:50,043 --> 00:26:52,209 Okay, so where do we go now? 514 00:26:53,001 --> 00:26:54,043 Um… 515 00:26:54,126 --> 00:26:56,876 We can literally go anywhere. The Grand Canyon, the Alamo… 516 00:26:56,959 --> 00:26:58,084 [chuckles] 517 00:26:58,168 --> 00:27:00,293 How about Niagara Falls? 518 00:27:00,376 --> 00:27:01,251 Really? 519 00:27:02,376 --> 00:27:04,084 Let's go to Niagara Falls. 520 00:27:05,626 --> 00:27:06,876 [Eric] Hell yeah! 521 00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:08,876 ["Truckin'" playing] 522 00:27:08,959 --> 00:27:10,293 ♪ Truckin' ♪ 523 00:27:10,376 --> 00:27:12,084 ♪ Got my chips cashed in ♪ 524 00:27:12,168 --> 00:27:13,293 ♪ Keep truckin'… ♪ 525 00:27:13,376 --> 00:27:14,209 Go! 526 00:27:14,293 --> 00:27:15,418 [pirates cheering] 527 00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:17,459 [pirate] Yes! Yes! Yes! Go! 528 00:27:17,543 --> 00:27:20,543 -Grand Canyon! -♪ More or less in line ♪ 529 00:27:20,626 --> 00:27:25,084 ♪ Just keep truckin' on ♪ 530 00:27:32,293 --> 00:27:34,959 ♪ Arrows of neon and flashing marquees Out on Main Street ♪ 531 00:27:36,001 --> 00:27:39,418 ♪ Chicago, New York, Detroit And it's all on the same street ♪ 532 00:27:39,918 --> 00:27:42,459 ♪ Your typical city involved In a typical daydream… ♪