1 00:00:54,418 --> 00:00:56,084 ‎怎么回事? 2 00:01:14,751 --> 00:01:17,459 ‎有人要因为这烂摊子被炒鱿鱼了 3 00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:20,459 ‎片名:凯洛 4 00:01:28,084 --> 00:01:32,543 ‎(剩余3个月零21天) 5 00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:37,001 ‎人事案例编号7-3 6 00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:39,001 ‎也可能是4 7 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:42,626 ‎为了尽可能迅速详尽地 8 00:01:42,709 --> 00:01:45,251 ‎提供我对今天事件的总结 9 00:01:45,334 --> 00:01:49,501 ‎我还有没仔细核查 ‎我此前案例的档案编号 10 00:01:51,084 --> 00:01:54,543 ‎今天11时左右 11 00:01:54,626 --> 00:01:57,501 ‎发生了一起事件 只能形容为 12 00:01:57,584 --> 00:02:00,543 ‎歇斯底里症状的自发性发作 13 00:02:00,626 --> 00:02:02,668 ‎这种剧烈的情绪波动 14 00:02:02,751 --> 00:02:05,876 ‎在办公室里持续了整整三分半钟 15 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,459 ‎最后才平息了下来 16 00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:17,501 ‎对不起 各位 我受够了 17 00:02:21,126 --> 00:02:23,918 ‎很难确定是什么引发了今天的事件 18 00:02:24,001 --> 00:02:28,251 ‎可以说 这只是过去几个月以来 19 00:02:28,334 --> 00:02:32,126 ‎办公室里出现的众多古怪行为之一 20 00:02:32,209 --> 00:02:36,709 ‎这些行为包括但不限于 ‎在饮水机周围喋喋不休 21 00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:39,043 ‎狂笑不止 22 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:41,376 ‎击掌碰拳 23 00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:43,834 ‎而且 在某些情况下 还会互拍肩膀 24 00:02:43,918 --> 00:02:48,418 ‎三周前 我亲眼目睹了 ‎一个非柏拉图式的拥抱 25 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,168 ‎亲爱的听众 我相信这些事件 26 00:02:51,251 --> 00:02:55,876 ‎多少与今天 ‎发生在这里的情绪流露有关 27 00:02:55,959 --> 00:03:00,793 ‎不仅如此 这些事件的先后顺序似乎 28 00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:03,584 ‎与某位新晋聘用的员工 ‎有千丝万缕的关系 29 00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:09,251 ‎凯洛达芙妮科尔 30 00:03:09,334 --> 00:03:11,543 ‎单身 没有子女 31 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:14,584 ‎紧急联系人 伯纳德与波林科尔 32 00:03:15,501 --> 00:03:17,626 ‎我相信潜伏在凯洛身后… 33 00:03:30,751 --> 00:03:32,251 ‎嗨 我是凯洛 34 00:03:33,626 --> 00:03:35,626 ‎领带真漂亮 比尔 35 00:03:37,209 --> 00:03:38,876 ‎糟了!该死 可恶 36 00:04:07,668 --> 00:04:09,459 ‎她会毁了我们 37 00:04:25,751 --> 00:04:28,626 ‎表面上看 科尔小姐 ‎似乎是一位完美的员工 38 00:04:28,709 --> 00:04:33,293 ‎她温顺的举止 ‎散发着一种难以言喻的可靠 39 00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:37,376 ‎人们会认为 ‎她的性格害羞 会跟其他人保持一致 40 00:04:37,459 --> 00:04:42,376 ‎但在她温和的外表下 ‎隐藏着一种危险的叛逆倾向 41 00:04:42,459 --> 00:04:46,418 ‎我担心这种倾向 ‎已经开始感染整个办公室 42 00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:52,126 ‎我第一次注意到科尔小姐的行为 ‎是在4月7日星期二 43 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,834 ‎莎拉 44 00:04:55,293 --> 00:04:56,293 ‎凡妮莎 45 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,459 ‎弗朗辛 46 00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:01,876 ‎名字代表我们的身份 47 00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:06,168 ‎当我们回忆起这些名字时 ‎会产生一种熟悉感 48 00:05:06,251 --> 00:05:09,584 ‎当你的名字被提及时 ‎会建立一种亲密感 49 00:05:09,668 --> 00:05:12,668 ‎你不再只是一个陌生人或同事 50 00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:18,251 ‎你现在是拥有更多可能性的熟人 51 00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,709 ‎提姆 杰尔 52 00:05:20,793 --> 00:05:23,793 ‎阿丽莎 詹姆斯 凯西 53 00:05:33,126 --> 00:05:35,334 ‎之后发生了这么一件事 54 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:39,084 ‎科尔小姐带领办公室 ‎其他八名成员上了屋顶 55 00:05:39,168 --> 00:05:44,376 ‎主动为一位 ‎名叫大卫道格拉斯西维尔的同事守灵 56 00:05:44,459 --> 00:05:47,834 ‎此次事件造成工作时间被贻误 57 00:05:48,751 --> 00:05:50,793 ‎长达8分43秒 58 00:05:54,709 --> 00:05:58,584 ‎自那以后 科尔小姐的滑稽举动 ‎变得越发肆无忌惮 59 00:06:02,626 --> 00:06:06,834 ‎4月15日 ‎科尔小姐着手装饰她的工作区 60 00:06:06,918 --> 00:06:11,043 ‎使用珍爱的私人物品为她的办公桌 61 00:06:11,126 --> 00:06:13,084 ‎增添个人色彩 62 00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:17,251 ‎就我个人而言 我不认为办公室 63 00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:19,834 ‎是展示你的受养人的合适场所 64 00:06:19,918 --> 00:06:22,418 ‎但我理解这种普遍的自作多情 65 00:06:24,293 --> 00:06:27,418 ‎另一方面 我无法容忍这种媚俗 66 00:06:27,501 --> 00:06:30,501 ‎尤其是科尔小姐收藏的陶瓷老鼠 67 00:06:31,584 --> 00:06:37,168 ‎这种行径在员工中间 ‎缓慢而稳定地蔓延开来 68 00:06:37,251 --> 00:06:40,834 ‎大量的小玩意 照片 69 00:06:40,918 --> 00:06:45,168 ‎各色私人物品 全都摆上了台面 70 00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:48,501 ‎我们的办公室里隐隐闪烁着 71 00:06:48,584 --> 00:06:52,751 ‎私人生活的微光 72 00:06:56,209 --> 00:06:57,209 ‎就这样 73 00:06:57,293 --> 00:07:01,626 ‎这间办公室曾经如此 ‎具有代表性的专业精神已然消失了 74 00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:06,543 ‎科尔小姐彻底改变了办公室 ‎也许是无可挽回的 75 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:11,043 ‎除此之外 几周前 ‎科尔小姐在处理与工作相关事务时 76 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:14,418 ‎征用了一辆公司的一级机动车 77 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:19,584 ‎从那以后 她几乎每天 ‎都在用这辆机动车处理私人事务 78 00:07:19,668 --> 00:07:20,751 ‎这是无法接受的 79 00:07:21,834 --> 00:07:26,501 ‎对办公室而言 幸运的是 ‎我成功在她接下来的行动中先发制人 80 00:07:28,793 --> 00:07:30,834 ‎未经许可的午餐互换 81 00:07:34,668 --> 00:07:36,418 ‎社交午餐 82 00:07:36,501 --> 00:07:40,293 ‎尤其是那些涉及互换 ‎买卖或者自带小菜的聚餐 83 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,584 ‎往往是通往友谊的大门 84 00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:47,584 ‎当一个人发现另一个人 ‎也喜欢往青酱意面里加西红柿时 85 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,834 ‎便会形成一种理解 86 00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:52,834 ‎这种理解会组成一座桥梁 87 00:07:52,918 --> 00:07:55,709 ‎而这座桥梁必然会通向友情 88 00:07:58,209 --> 00:07:59,751 ‎现在 就因为西红柿 89 00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:02,209 ‎你有了可以一起消磨茶歇的人 90 00:08:02,293 --> 00:08:04,043 ‎可以倾诉秘密的人 91 00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:13,418 ‎即使是一道简单的土豆烘蛋 92 00:08:13,501 --> 00:08:16,459 ‎也能让人更忠于新来的同事 93 00:08:16,543 --> 00:08:18,209 ‎而不是自己的职责 94 00:08:20,126 --> 00:08:23,959 ‎但是 细心的听众 这仅仅是开始 95 00:08:25,293 --> 00:08:28,293 ‎两名此前十分可靠的员工 ‎在科尔小姐的友情攻势下 96 00:08:28,376 --> 00:08:31,668 ‎成为了第一批受害者 97 00:08:31,751 --> 00:08:34,084 ‎堂娜肖首当其冲 98 00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:39,418 ‎非裔美国人 已离异 有五个孩子 99 00:08:39,501 --> 00:08:41,543 ‎双目散光 100 00:08:41,626 --> 00:08:46,459 ‎肖小姐是我们 ‎人力资源部所谓的“理想员工” 101 00:08:46,543 --> 00:08:48,543 ‎可靠 注重任务的完成度 102 00:08:48,626 --> 00:08:51,668 ‎通过工作所提供的使命感不断进步 103 00:08:51,751 --> 00:08:53,959 ‎至少她是这么做的 104 00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:58,001 ‎究竟是什么让这位勤奋的典范 105 00:08:58,084 --> 00:09:00,834 ‎与科尔小姐结盟 我们不得而知 106 00:09:00,918 --> 00:09:03,709 ‎但这对我们的事业来说 ‎是巨大的损失 107 00:09:04,459 --> 00:09:05,459 ‎这就是人生 108 00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:11,334 ‎这个造反三人组的 ‎第三位成员则是个谜团 109 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:18,334 ‎表面上看 路易斯菲利佩哈辛托 ‎似乎是一名称职的员工 110 00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:24,126 ‎习惯性地按时上班 ‎勤奋工作 各方各面都毫不起眼 111 00:09:24,209 --> 00:09:26,043 ‎但当我仔细观察时 112 00:09:26,126 --> 00:09:33,001 ‎我注意到他身上有种莫名其妙的 ‎坦率得令人不安的生活热情 113 00:09:33,084 --> 00:09:37,418 ‎也许是办公室的日常工作和严格要求 114 00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:39,126 ‎压抑了这种渴望 115 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,626 ‎只有科尔小姐才能把这种渴望引出来 116 00:09:46,209 --> 00:09:51,584 ‎我真的没法一起唱 ‎所以有时候我就用竖笛为她伴奏 117 00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:54,959 ‎你能用竖笛吹惠特妮休斯顿的歌吗? 118 00:09:55,043 --> 00:09:59,001 ‎有一次 我带着竖笛去听演唱会 ‎但我不敢吹 119 00:09:59,084 --> 00:10:00,459 ‎随着时间的推移 120 00:10:00,543 --> 00:10:04,668 ‎这三名员工通过各种破坏性活动 ‎成功地在员工中 121 00:10:04,751 --> 00:10:08,043 ‎培养出了一种团结意识 122 00:10:08,126 --> 00:10:10,626 ‎创立午间西班牙语俱乐部 123 00:10:17,876 --> 00:10:19,751 ‎每周进行集体日光浴 124 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:24,501 ‎科尔小姐多次扮演红娘的角色 125 00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:29,001 ‎促成了几对情侣 ‎还有至少一组四人多角恋 126 00:10:29,751 --> 00:10:31,626 ‎流浪狗的到来 127 00:10:31,709 --> 00:10:34,126 ‎快看!这个小家伙跟着我们进来了! 128 00:10:34,209 --> 00:10:35,834 ‎有人想给他取名吗? 129 00:10:35,918 --> 00:10:37,584 ‎阿玛娅? 130 00:10:37,668 --> 00:10:39,626 ‎莱纳德?苏珊娜? 131 00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:44,418 ‎特里们也渐渐被赋予了个性 132 00:10:44,501 --> 00:10:46,043 ‎-特里B ‎-谢谢 凯洛 133 00:10:46,126 --> 00:10:47,626 ‎-特里L ‎-我很感激 凯洛 134 00:10:47,709 --> 00:10:48,876 ‎-特里P ‎-谢啦 凯洛 135 00:10:48,959 --> 00:10:50,459 ‎-特里F ‎-非常感谢 凯洛 136 00:10:50,543 --> 00:10:52,959 ‎-特里C ‎-太感谢了 凯洛 137 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:58,293 ‎这一切都让我想到科尔小姐 ‎最近也是最严重的破坏行为 138 00:10:58,376 --> 00:11:02,293 ‎我相信这也是前几天 ‎那令人不安的失序现象的原因 139 00:11:02,376 --> 00:11:04,584 ‎当然 我指的是… 140 00:11:06,418 --> 00:11:08,168 ‎-抱歉打扰了 ‎-到底发生什么事了? 141 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:11,126 ‎-我们在想你的报告 ‎-为什么还没准备好? 142 00:11:11,209 --> 00:11:13,001 ‎应该已经完成了 ‎你已经准备了两天了 143 00:11:13,084 --> 00:11:16,126 ‎这些调查需要时间 我会尽快的 144 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,626 ‎-很好 ‎-别忘了向我们通报最新进展 145 00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:21,126 ‎我希望收到一封 ‎概括了所有内容的电子邮件 146 00:11:21,209 --> 00:11:22,626 ‎真是太难堪了 147 00:11:22,709 --> 00:11:24,084 ‎相当令人失望 148 00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:45,793 ‎我终于还是考虑买几双新鞋垫了 149 00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:48,584 ‎有足弓支撑的 150 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:53,918 ‎也许还有保护脚后跟的功能 ‎方便在水泥地上行走 151 00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:57,293 ‎缓震胶之类的材质 但不能太软 152 00:11:57,376 --> 00:11:59,501 ‎-要更加结实… ‎-伯纳德 153 00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:02,459 ‎-波林 ‎-好吧 154 00:12:02,543 --> 00:12:05,668 ‎这么多年来 你们一直在我身边… 155 00:12:05,751 --> 00:12:09,334 ‎哦 天啊!太棒了! 156 00:12:09,418 --> 00:12:12,834 ‎当然愿意 迈克尔!当然愿意! 157 00:12:14,959 --> 00:12:19,001 ‎由于开普勒的引力 ‎减缓了地球的自转速度 158 00:12:19,084 --> 00:12:23,251 ‎准备好迎接19个小时的白天 ‎和19个小时的夜晚吧 159 00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,501 ‎我要把你吃掉! 160 00:12:25,584 --> 00:12:28,626 ‎没错 我要把你全吃掉 161 00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:30,418 ‎不许抓我 帕布罗 162 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,584 ‎不许抓我 163 00:12:48,126 --> 00:12:49,459 ‎正如我所说 164 00:12:49,543 --> 00:12:51,168 ‎此前提到的事件 165 00:12:51,251 --> 00:12:55,876 ‎让我想到了科尔小姐 ‎最近也是最飘摇不定的破坏行动 166 00:12:55,959 --> 00:13:00,084 ‎我相信那也是本周 ‎那令人不安的失序现象的原因… 167 00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:01,834 ‎苹果蜂 168 00:13:02,584 --> 00:13:05,793 ‎我当然指的是苹果蜂餐厅 169 00:13:08,376 --> 00:13:11,251 ‎(苹果蜂餐厅) 170 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,834 ‎拜托 路易斯 该下班了 171 00:13:16,918 --> 00:13:19,376 ‎等等 还有一个数目 172 00:13:20,084 --> 00:13:22,376 ‎七 九 173 00:13:22,459 --> 00:13:23,626 ‎这已经是俩数目了 174 00:13:23,709 --> 00:13:25,293 ‎这是一个很大的数目 堂娜 175 00:13:26,418 --> 00:13:28,959 ‎四 八 176 00:13:29,043 --> 00:13:31,959 ‎-回家吗? ‎-正在努力 路易斯还在拖拖拉拉 177 00:13:32,043 --> 00:13:34,459 ‎是啊 我也舍不得离开 178 00:13:34,543 --> 00:13:36,376 ‎你们搞得我都记不清输到哪里了 179 00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:40,001 ‎四和零 180 00:13:40,084 --> 00:13:44,418 ‎794840美元 181 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,376 ‎为什么这部分总是这么难? 182 00:13:48,459 --> 00:13:51,876 ‎事情就是这样 ‎你的工作明天还是会在这里 183 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:57,209 ‎要知道 我们其实不必这么做 184 00:13:57,293 --> 00:14:00,876 ‎-什么? ‎-我是说 我们可以出去玩 185 00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:02,709 ‎还记得跟大卫在一起的那晚吗? 186 00:14:02,793 --> 00:14:05,209 ‎那次真是太好玩了 187 00:14:05,293 --> 00:14:08,626 ‎我们拖着一具尸体到处跑 ‎而你精神崩溃了 188 00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:12,209 ‎跟不用说 我的后备箱还是一团糟呢 189 00:14:12,293 --> 00:14:14,459 ‎但是这次没有那些 190 00:14:14,543 --> 00:14:15,876 ‎没有死尸? 191 00:14:15,959 --> 00:14:17,751 ‎没有死尸 192 00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:19,751 ‎喝点啥不? 193 00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:21,959 ‎去酒吧?天啊 算了 194 00:14:22,043 --> 00:14:23,209 ‎我宁愿待在床上 195 00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:27,084 ‎哪里都挤满了疯子 196 00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:30,084 ‎-啥事都干不了 ‎-是啊 197 00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:34,918 ‎要是有个像办公室一样的地方就好了 198 00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:37,584 ‎安安静静 没有外面的一切 199 00:14:38,584 --> 00:14:41,084 ‎伙计们 我知道一个地方 200 00:14:41,918 --> 00:14:43,543 ‎一个宾至如归的地方 201 00:14:43,626 --> 00:14:47,751 ‎一个休闲场所 装修别具一格 202 00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:51,376 ‎摆满了舒适的座椅 还能无限畅饮 203 00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:52,543 ‎最棒的是… 204 00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:55,751 ‎近吗?不近的话 我就不去了 205 00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:57,876 ‎就在附近 206 00:14:57,959 --> 00:14:59,459 ‎嗯 那就带路吧 207 00:14:59,543 --> 00:15:00,709 ‎太有意思了! 208 00:15:00,793 --> 00:15:02,793 ‎嘿!我也能一起去吗? 209 00:15:02,876 --> 00:15:04,293 ‎听起来挺有趣的 210 00:15:05,543 --> 00:15:07,251 ‎-当然啦 ‎-好呀 211 00:15:07,334 --> 00:15:09,418 ‎太棒了 我马上就收拾东西 212 00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:12,793 ‎我对天发誓 ‎他最好别死在我的后备箱里 213 00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:18,376 ‎天啊 凯洛 214 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,209 ‎我要是早知道 ‎你能调出这么棒的苹果马提尼 215 00:15:21,293 --> 00:15:24,084 ‎我们一开始就该这么做 216 00:15:25,876 --> 00:15:27,418 ‎我还能说什么呢? 217 00:15:27,501 --> 00:15:28,626 ‎我也不知道 218 00:15:28,709 --> 00:15:30,251 ‎是女孩子的天赋吧 219 00:15:30,334 --> 00:15:32,209 ‎凯洛已经醉了 220 00:15:33,793 --> 00:15:35,543 ‎我们应该常来 221 00:15:35,626 --> 00:15:38,209 ‎是啊!不如每周都来 222 00:15:38,293 --> 00:15:39,251 ‎我同意 223 00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:41,418 ‎我爱你们 224 00:15:41,501 --> 00:15:42,501 ‎很好 225 00:15:42,584 --> 00:15:45,084 ‎听上去不错 226 00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,584 ‎那里被称为“苹果蜂” 227 00:16:03,668 --> 00:16:06,209 ‎苹果蜂?等等 那里难不成是… 228 00:16:07,793 --> 00:16:09,668 ‎特里们! 229 00:16:14,084 --> 00:16:15,251 ‎(苹果蜂) 230 00:16:18,126 --> 00:16:20,001 ‎我见过他们吗? 231 00:16:29,584 --> 00:16:31,584 ‎克洛伊! 232 00:16:31,668 --> 00:16:33,418 ‎凯洛! 233 00:16:33,501 --> 00:16:36,293 ‎抱歉 我早就到了 我只是出去… 234 00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:37,918 ‎帕特里克! 235 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,251 ‎(苹果蜂) 236 00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:52,501 ‎(某处现在五点) 237 00:16:52,584 --> 00:16:53,918 ‎安德鲁! 238 00:17:01,376 --> 00:17:03,251 ‎海瑟!你来接手 239 00:17:03,334 --> 00:17:05,459 ‎我的胳膊快抬不起来了 240 00:17:06,209 --> 00:17:08,293 ‎下一个问题 241 00:17:08,376 --> 00:17:11,209 ‎“一群火鸡叫做什么?” 242 00:17:12,626 --> 00:17:15,709 ‎那几位白领 我看到你们想作弊 243 00:17:15,793 --> 00:17:17,584 ‎给我坐回去 244 00:17:20,209 --> 00:17:21,501 ‎谁喜欢玉米卷饼? 245 00:17:30,043 --> 00:17:34,501 ‎在我们的心中寻找许久 246 00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:38,293 ‎我们都知道… 247 00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:41,709 ‎干杯 248 00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:43,918 ‎敬欢乐时光 249 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:45,459 ‎敬欢乐时光 250 00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:51,918 ‎(苹果蜂) 251 00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:07,251 ‎亲爱的听众 ‎我必须为您即将听到的内容道歉 252 00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:10,584 ‎您一定要相信我 ‎我是怀着最纯粹的意图 253 00:18:10,668 --> 00:18:12,584 ‎参与这项调查的 254 00:18:12,668 --> 00:18:17,459 ‎以找出我们办公室存在的威胁 ‎并将其根除 255 00:18:19,709 --> 00:18:22,293 ‎在这件事情上 我失败了 256 00:18:23,584 --> 00:18:28,209 ‎当我第一次听闻 ‎这个所谓的“欢乐时光”时 257 00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:30,834 ‎我简直不敢相信 258 00:18:32,293 --> 00:18:33,834 ‎你今晚几点去? 259 00:18:33,918 --> 00:18:36,251 ‎下班就去 我等不及了 260 00:18:37,043 --> 00:18:39,459 ‎所以我决定要亲眼看看 261 00:18:42,793 --> 00:18:46,668 ‎亲爱的听众 ‎很难形容我在那里的发现 262 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:48,834 ‎表面上看 263 00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:53,543 ‎只是一群同事在一家休闲酒吧 ‎兼烤肉店里自得其乐 264 00:18:53,626 --> 00:18:55,168 ‎但不止于此 265 00:18:55,959 --> 00:18:57,918 ‎那地方有一种感觉 266 00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:00,334 ‎一种力量 267 00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:06,251 ‎如果要拯救这间办公室 ‎那地方就必须关门 268 00:19:06,334 --> 00:19:08,168 ‎人事小姐! 269 00:19:10,168 --> 00:19:13,168 ‎但事实并非如此 270 00:19:14,126 --> 00:19:16,584 ‎我最初的计划是融入其中 271 00:19:16,668 --> 00:19:19,084 ‎我很快便发现这是不可能的 272 00:19:19,834 --> 00:19:22,793 ‎在办公室里 保持匿名状态很容易 273 00:19:22,876 --> 00:19:25,751 ‎我只是分心办公室 ‎这台机器中的另一枚齿轮 274 00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:32,126 ‎但是在科尔小姐创造的 ‎这处奇特的极乐世界里 275 00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:34,126 ‎每个人都有名字 276 00:19:34,209 --> 00:19:35,918 ‎每个人都为人所知 277 00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:37,584 ‎每个人都是家人 278 00:19:39,168 --> 00:19:43,209 ‎到最后 尽管我设计了 ‎那么多宏伟的破坏行动 279 00:19:43,293 --> 00:19:45,001 ‎我也成为那样了 280 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:48,834 ‎我告诉自己 ‎我是为了调查才去了解这些人的 281 00:19:50,043 --> 00:19:52,543 ‎为了调查去玩宾果游戏 282 00:19:53,168 --> 00:19:56,459 ‎宾果!太棒了!我凑齐了! 283 00:19:57,751 --> 00:20:00,334 ‎为了调查去唱卡拉OK 284 00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:05,459 ‎求你别忘了我 285 00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:09,501 ‎求你 286 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:14,334 ‎求你别忘了我 287 00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:19,209 ‎当你与我擦肩而过 288 00:20:20,501 --> 00:20:22,959 ‎你会呼唤我的名字吗? 289 00:20:47,543 --> 00:20:52,876 ‎事实上 我已屈服于 ‎我本打算摧毁的病毒 290 00:20:52,959 --> 00:20:57,251 ‎现在这个病毒威胁 ‎要摧毁我们宝贵的分心办公室… 291 00:21:06,293 --> 00:21:08,209 ‎我产生了依恋 292 00:21:11,459 --> 00:21:14,334 ‎-我想我们有麻烦了 ‎-那份该死的报告在哪里? 293 00:21:14,418 --> 00:21:16,876 ‎-我们真的需要那份报告 ‎-我快完成了 294 00:21:16,959 --> 00:21:19,084 ‎你到底知不知道 ‎现在情况有多危急吗? 295 00:21:19,168 --> 00:21:21,126 ‎-立刻把报告放我桌上! ‎-好的 没问题 296 00:21:21,209 --> 00:21:22,918 ‎这给每个人都带来了不好的影响 297 00:21:23,001 --> 00:21:25,293 ‎你这次严重搞砸了 298 00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:27,543 ‎搞砸了 299 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:37,959 ‎骚乱发生时 ‎距离上一次欢乐时光已过去了两周 300 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,168 ‎经过我的调查 301 00:21:44,251 --> 00:21:47,918 ‎我确定前几天席卷我们办公室的 302 00:21:48,001 --> 00:21:49,834 ‎歇斯底里症状发作 303 00:21:49,918 --> 00:21:53,501 ‎实际上并不是自发的 而是被诱发的 304 00:21:54,209 --> 00:21:58,751 ‎是由这间办公室的同事之间 ‎形成的情感依恋诱发的 305 00:21:59,793 --> 00:22:03,626 ‎从科尔小姐知道她同事们的名字开始 306 00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:06,876 ‎这里已经演变成了一种社群 307 00:22:09,043 --> 00:22:11,793 ‎在这个社群里 人们互相关心 308 00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:17,001 ‎人们选择关心彼此 309 00:22:17,084 --> 00:22:23,251 ‎尽管在当前情况下 可能会带来痛苦 310 00:22:25,251 --> 00:22:28,751 ‎现在 到了中午 ‎当一名员工看着她的同事时 311 00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:31,584 ‎她看到的并不是应收账款办事员 312 00:22:32,709 --> 00:22:34,168 ‎她看到的是布鲁斯 313 00:22:36,376 --> 00:22:37,293 ‎或是凯希 314 00:22:39,334 --> 00:22:40,543 ‎或是阿曼达 315 00:22:45,251 --> 00:22:47,459 ‎不只是同事 还是朋友 316 00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:54,501 ‎她知道自己很快便会永远失去的朋友 317 00:22:58,334 --> 00:23:02,209 ‎随着时间的不断流逝 ‎这种情绪爆发只会越来越严重 318 00:23:02,834 --> 00:23:06,459 ‎并为分心办公室的彻底崩溃奠定基础 319 00:23:07,376 --> 00:23:11,959 ‎我们抵御外部世界 ‎混乱情绪的封印已经损坏了 320 00:23:12,043 --> 00:23:13,668 ‎我们重要的常规工作也停止了 321 00:23:14,668 --> 00:23:17,501 ‎开普勒的歌声 ‎已然冲破了这些宝贵的墙壁 322 00:23:17,584 --> 00:23:21,876 ‎现在甚至连复印机的哀嚎 ‎也无法将其淹没 323 00:23:21,959 --> 00:23:25,626 ‎随之而来的是悲伤和疯狂 324 00:23:26,793 --> 00:23:29,709 ‎毫无疑问 这一切的罪魁祸首 325 00:23:29,793 --> 00:23:32,418 ‎都归结于一个人… 326 00:23:34,293 --> 00:23:36,668 ‎-嗨 ‎-嗨 327 00:23:36,751 --> 00:23:37,918 ‎抱歉 328 00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:41,501 ‎我只是想知道 ‎今晚的欢乐时光你会不会来 329 00:23:43,209 --> 00:23:44,668 ‎不来 今晚不行 330 00:23:45,668 --> 00:23:49,334 ‎好吧 过去几周 我们都很想你 331 00:23:51,084 --> 00:23:53,543 ‎好吧 晚安 凯瑟琳 332 00:23:54,709 --> 00:23:56,209 ‎你叫我什么? 333 00:23:56,293 --> 00:23:57,501 ‎凯瑟琳 334 00:23:57,584 --> 00:23:58,918 ‎这是你的名字 对吗? 335 00:23:59,668 --> 00:24:02,251 ‎哦 糟了!我记错了吗? 336 00:24:03,418 --> 00:24:04,876 ‎不 你没记错 337 00:24:07,043 --> 00:24:08,501 ‎那就好 338 00:24:09,168 --> 00:24:11,501 ‎好吧 明天见 339 00:24:30,751 --> 00:24:34,501 ‎人事案例到此结束 编号7… 340 00:24:35,501 --> 00:24:37,459 ‎调查到此结束 341 00:24:38,293 --> 00:24:39,501 ‎听众请注意 342 00:24:39,584 --> 00:24:44,126 ‎我对员工凯洛达芙妮科尔的决定 343 00:24:44,209 --> 00:24:47,001 ‎以书面报告形式补充在后面了 344 00:24:50,751 --> 00:24:53,334 ‎(苹果蜂) 345 00:25:08,543 --> 00:25:11,084 ‎那么 你觉得怎么样 凯洛? 346 00:25:12,293 --> 00:25:14,293 ‎这里真棒 347 00:25:15,959 --> 00:25:17,084 ‎确实很棒 348 00:25:19,126 --> 00:25:20,084 ‎真的 349 00:25:25,418 --> 00:25:27,793 ‎(仅限经理查阅) 350 00:25:41,209 --> 00:25:43,918 ‎有人丢了本田的钥匙吗? 351 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,001 ‎谢谢 352 00:25:46,084 --> 00:25:50,126 ‎我觉得大多数人 ‎都没注意到我戴了耳环 353 00:25:52,543 --> 00:25:54,334 ‎晚安 凯瑟琳 354 00:26:18,918 --> 00:26:21,001 ‎字幕翻译:Lynn S