[techno music playing]
[bell tolling]
[door creaking]
Hello?
Peter? Jess?
[clicks tongue]
[sinister music playing]
- [party music playing] - [screams]
So I'll see you later then?
Yes, please.
I'll text you.
You better.
[chuckling]
[exhales]
[upbeat music playing]
- [woman] Hello. - [man] Do you have a moment...
- [yelps] - [man gasps]
[man moaning]
Good for you, sir.
Yeah? Thanks, kiddo.
[man yelling ecstatically]
[blows raspberry]
[exhales]
- [Jess] Elliot! - Yeah?
Oh, my God!
Move, move, move.
So?
- I have a crush. - [yelling] Oh, perfect!
Oh, God. Please put some underwear on.
Your v-word is trying to make eye contact.
Look, no bare arse on the couch. I can't keep telling you.
Yeah. Shut up. Tell me everything.
Okay, okay. But I need you to just ground me. Okay?
Just remind me it's only been one date.
No, stop that. Sometimes that's all it takes.
But Jess, the connection from the club... I wasn't just drunk?
No.
I think we were destined to meet.
- Destined? - Yeah.
- Elly. - Yeah, like he's better
than anything I could have ever hoped for.
Really, like, he was so...
so funny.
- He was so smart. - Mmm-hmm.
- So real. - Mmm-hmm.
He was so hot.
- He was so tall. - Mmm-hmm
Oh, and...
I'm seeing him again today.
- Today! - Yeah.
[both screaming and laughing]
- No, no, honestly, honestly. - Come here.
We had so much in common.
We had all these weird little details,
it was actually really weird like, erm...
Oh, fuck, okay. Oh, yeah.
Like we both went on the same cruise in 2005,
like a week apart.
- A week apart. What? - Yeah.
And like, we both have dairy issues
and we both have the same favourite colour.
- Jess. - Hmm?
No, not just green.
Like, emerald green.
- [both laughing] - Imagine?
- Oh! - I've not seen you
this excited about a guy...
- since... - Oh, God!
...like, forever.
So happy for you.
I just... I wanted to bring him home
like five minutes into the date to meet you.
Honestly, you are gonna love him.
- Okay, now we need to back up. - Okay, okay.
And I need exact details from the very beginning.
- Yeah, yeah. So basically... - Oh!
I need to start getting ready for work.
- No. Jess. - I'm sorry.
- I'm gonna listen... - Jess, no.
- while I make my espresso, okay? - No. No!
- Okay, I promise. Okay. - Okay, okay.
Go. I'm freaking out. You're never like this.
So we were supposed to meet at 9:00...
- [machine grinding] - ...but there were train issues,
- so I got there, like... - Wait, I can't hear you.
So, we were supposed to meet at 9:00
but there were, like, train issues.
- So I was 20 minutes late. - Wait.
I hate to do this but I'm gonna have to cut you short. [sips]
- Oh. - Oh, fuck!
Elliot, I would literally kill any acquaintance to stay home
and listen to you talk about this boy right now.
That's okay. I've got to get it in my journal anyway.
Like every detail needs to be a permanent memory.
- You know? - Yeah. Bye.
Jess?
A part of me does still feel like I'm cheating.
[exhales]
Don't do that.
My brother would want you to be happy.
Especially with a hottie.
Drop me my lunch on your way to work.
We can have a little teaser chat.
- A teaser chat. Mmm-hmm. - Okay.
- Love you. - Love you.
[Elliot] Bye.
♪ La-la-la-la-boom ♪
[sighs]
[dance music playing]
[inaudible]
[yelps]
- [Elliot] Sorry. - [both chuckle]
[Will] So what made you pick this place?
It's pretty shit.
Well, maybe I wasn't ready to bet 15-pound cocktails
on your personality being up to par with your dance moves.
Oh! [chuckles]
Let me take you somewhere else after this. You'll love it.
I promise.
[zen music playing]
[bell over door chimes]
[tense music playing]
[inaudible]
- [woman] Ahem. - Oh, my God!
- Where did you come from? - Just my house.
Like how long have you been standing there?
Only about 40 seconds.
Babe. That is so unacceptable of me.
Please forgive me.
You know what? Take that.
On me.
It's free.
- Really? - Yeah, really.
It was meant for you.
Bye.
That malachite,
it's coming out of your paycheque, Jessica.
[Elliot muttering] Jess, Jess, Jess, Jess.
[message alert tone]
[beeps]
[phone chimes]
[chopping]
[screams]
[gasp and pants]
[groans]
[exhales]
- [phone vibrating] - [grunts]
[line ringing]
- [Elliot] Hi, Grandma. - Oh.
Oh, thank God you picked up. I've had a horrible day.
- Why is that? - Your Aunt Bonnie
is acting up again with that invisible friend of hers.
McCoughley is my fiance who I'm in love with.
Oh yes, that handsome underwear model with the six-pack
who lives in your computer. That's your fiance.
[Bonnie] He doesn't live there, Mother.
It's just where we met. You know that.
You never met, you fool.
You just can't believe that someone
as gorgeous as McCoughley would love me. Admit it.
Well, that's part of it, of course.
Do you hear her?
I can't believe that I gave birth to that.
Mmm, it's awful, Grandma. You must be so embarrassed.
Embarrassed is exactly it, Elliot.
Embarrassed and profoundly ashamed.
Thank the Lord I have you.
That's not why I'm calling.
I'm actually rather concerned about you, Elliot.
Er, why is that, Grandma?
Well, Janelle tells me
you've been showing up late
for your shifts at Le BarkBark.
Grandma, no.
Look, erm...
Janelle just likes to have a reason to talk to you.
Oh... [chuckles] Oh, oh, that... Oh, that's not true.
No, seriously, Grandma. She's obsessed with you.
- You know it. - Oh.
No, I was late one time and that's...
because...
church ran over.
I should've known.
You see through everyone, Elliot.
Forgive me for doubting you.
[snaps fingers] Phone.
For the church.
[bell tolls]
Oh, Grandma.
You shouldn't have.
I'm so proud of the man you've grown up to be, Elliot.
Your mother would be too.
Yeah, being straight has been super awesome.
Your happiness and salvation are everything to me, Elliot.
Oh, okay, I've got to go to work, okay?
My ambitious, precious Elliot.
Unlike some delusional freeloaders
living under my very roof.
I hate you!
I love you, Grandma.
[man] ♪ Halleluiah! ♪
[rhythmic music playing]
[Elliot] I love your nails.
Thanks. Colour's called blood sex.
- Oh. - Mmm.
[Will] Do you ever do yours?
Er, no, no. Looks cringe on me.
No, stop that.
You'd look sexy. Like even more sexy.
Like blood sexy.
So, you're really not gonna tell me where we're going?
No. But I promise you'll like it.
Thought we'd take the scenic route.
[Elliot] No, no, it's lovely.
Hey, Raphael, how you been?
Hi.
Jess?
Hi. Oh, my God.
Taking lunch. Back in twenty.
[door closes]
[sighs contentedly]
Remember when you and Raphael hooked up?
Will you ever let that go?
Oh, absolutely not.
- It's peak comedy. - [Elliot grunts]
I'm too fragile to be teased right now.
No, I'm too anxious to talk about Will any more.
He still hasn't texted me.
Well, not everyone is a 24/7 texter like we are.
Yeah, but he told me he was though.
That was another thing we had in common.
I really think he's just...
sleeping.
Trust the connection that you guys felt.
- Also, if he is ignoring you... - Mmm?
...then he has always been a fuckboy.
You should be grateful that he's only ruined one of your nights.
Mmm.
I don't know.
Jess.
Mmm?
I, er... told him everything.
- About Peter? - Oh, yeah.
- Everything. - Oh, why would you
tell all that to a stranger?
[Elliot] Well, he didn't feel like a stranger.
[Jess] He could be anyone.
Plus, that stuff's, like, private.
I thought you didn't like telling people.
No, no, no. Will asked me to tell him.
It's like he could see it in me.
He's got his own fucked-uppery in his life too.
Well, what kind of fucked-uppery?
He never said.
I need to tell you something.
- Who died? - Mmm? No.
No one. Listen.
You know that DNA app thing that I used.
Years ago. To try and find Peter.
Jess.
You promised we'd never do that again.
I got a match today.
Look at that smiley.
Jess. No, we're not doing this.
I don't know who else it could be.
It's probably just some random cousin.
You think some random cousin is using that stupid smiley.
And it's a tier 1, Elliot.
That means it's a close relative.
It can't be Peter.
Babe, someone is messing with you.
I know it can't be
but what if it is?
Look at that smiley, Elliot.
Peter's dead, Jess.
But there was no body.
And the finger, you know.
How can we know for sure like really, really know?
Because of the finger, Jessica.
Jessica?
- You're mad at me for this. - No, I'm not mad at you.
Just trying to move on.
Sorry.
Stuff's just not healthy any more.
Ugh. Still nothing from Will.
Whatever.
I've got to get to work.
Janelle ratted me out to Grandma for being late again.
Okay.
Love you.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, sorry.
Sir, you just stroked my breast.
What?
Sorry.
[mysterious music playing]
[message alert tone]
[Raphael] Jessica.
It's three past.
I'm taking the afternoon off.
Jessica!
So, you do know how to tell the time?
- Wonderful. - Hey, Janelle.
if you have a problem with
how I'm conducting myself in the workplace
maybe, just try taking it up with me,
instead of my Grandma next time.
I have taken it up with you nearly every day in fact.
It's just like Grandma tends to take my side
and I just hate for it to affect your relationship,
or compromise your invitation to my aunt's wedding.
[puppy whimpering]
[miaows]
Oh, sweetie.
There we go. All done.
Now then, let's see.
- Ah, here's Daddy. - [sighs]
[hisses]
[whimpering]
Why the fuck's his hair like that?
Our stylist felt a more modern look for Laurent.
You have to be severely disturbed
to work here, you know that?
All I asked for was a nail trim and an arsehole shave.
[Laurent groaning]
How do I know you?
Oh, perhaps from one of
Laurent's previous visits to Le BarkBark.
No. Absolutely not.
He's never been here before and he'll never return.
Okay.
You're the weather bloke.
The pants guy?
No, I'm sorry.
[Laurent whimpers]
I wish.
Huh.
[miaows]
[bell over door chimes]
[door closes]
Dog were a nightmare too.
[miaowing]
Oh, is that so? Aw.
Do you know it's awful.
Someone left this poor little angel out front last night.
No name. No chip.
Nothing but the milk crate from whence the baby came.
- Who's that? - Just a little tiny baby,
- that's who. - [cat mewling]
[snarls]
But that's him...
[snarls]
[retches]
[phone thuds on floor]
[retches]
[Elliot] I've got to go.
[line ringing]
You moved the lockbox key?
Of course I did. What are you even doing with that?
No, no. You just have to tell me where it is.
- [Jess] Nope, sorry babe. - Okay. No, it's an emergency.
[Jess] Trust me. I'm right on this.
[Elliot] Weird shit is happening. Okay?
[Jess] I'll be home soon.
No, just listen to me! Please. Okay?
- I saw Marvin. I saw the cat. - [call disconnects]
Hello?
Hello. Oh...
[tense music playing]
[people chattering indistinctly]
[strains]
[grunts]
[panting]
[sniffles]
[wistful music playing]
[barman] Miss?
Did you hear what I said?
Miss? What can I get you?
Erm, I'm all right, for now. Thank you.
[barman] You're not allowed to sit unless you get something.
Did you hear what I said?
Er, I'll just have a water, please. Thank you.
Water is not a drink.
[phone ringing]
[barman shouting] Miss, you're not allowed to touch that.
- [heavy breathing] - [whispering] Is it you?
[barman] Miss, you're going to get me fired.
Peter?
If it's you, can you just tell me you are okay.
Please. This is killing me.
[heavy breathing over phone]
Hello?
Why are you doing this?
Whoever you are, can you just say something?
- Please. - [line disconnects]
[message alert tone]
Tequila soda, please.
Single or double?
Both.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[Jess] Elliot.
[footsteps approaching]
This is all my fault.
I should have never said anything about that stupid...
DNA match. It wasn't him.
I shouldn't have put you down like that earlier.
- I'm the fucking worst. - But you were right.
It was all a load of crap.
And I let myself get my hopes up...
Again.
Er...
Look what it's done to you.
You know, you should let yourself get your hopes up.
I wish I still could.
It's like my brain won't let me any more. It's so...
It just hurts too much.
I don't know what to do.
Having hope is just slowly beating me to death, isn't it?
I feel like I'll die
if I believe he's gone, like actually gone.
[exhales]
I'll never find love like that again.
Ah, don't say that.
I thought... I... maybe with Will... Maybe...
I don't know like it could go there.
Eventually. I don't know.
He never even texted me. [sniffles]
Stupid, ugly loser.
You're not a stupid, ugly loser.
- You are hot. - [scoffs]
And you are brilliant.
I fucking love you.
I love you.
- And that guy is an idiot. - [chuckles]
If he can't see how much of a catch you are.
I thought I saw him today.
Peter.
And?
It was just a lesbian.
- [Jess snorts] - [both laughing]
I can't believe how crushed I was
over that stupid DNA thing.
This stuff isn't healthy any more.
We've got to stop.
I've got to stop.
- It's too much. - Yes.
What?
- What? Something's on your mind. - It's nothing.
Elliot.
Er... it's just... Something else happened today.
At Le BarkBark.
I don't know if the mark's wrong.
Elliot, that's literally Marvin.
[rhythmic music playing]
- Where's the cat? - Well, there's lots of cats.
No, no, the cat that was dropped here last night.
- The sphinx. - Oh, that cat.
Well, the Heavenly Tails shelter picked him up about an hour ago.
[both] Fuck.
Shit, they're closed.
Okay. Let's check the CCTV footage.
- See who brought him here. - [Elsie] No, you can't do that
because Janelle's not back till tomorrow
and the recorders are in her office.
Well, you can tell Janelle to lick my balls.
[Elliot groans]
Come on, we've got to be quick.
[thuds]
[Elliot speaks indistinctly]
That's it. The cat's in there.
- [Jess] Is that him? - Can't tell.
Wait, wait. Pause it.
Could that be... Peter?
How do you... How do you zoom in?
I... I don't know. I don't know.
- [Elsie] I'm calling the police. - What? No, no.
You don't have to do that, Elsie. It's okay.
We need to hurry up.
[Jess] Is that a mask of your face?
That's literally the ugliest picture of me.
Do you think we're being fucked with?
[Elsie] Elliot Byrd!
The police are on their way.
- Whoa! - No, no, Jess!
And Elliot, you're fired.
- What? - I've just got off the phone
with Janelle and she is furious.
No, no, no. Elsie, come back.
No, no, no, Elsie! Elsie!
[Jess] We'll work it out. I promise.
[Elliot] What the fuck is going on?
- Please. - [line disconnects]
[Will] Listen. I know it's the first date.
- [Elliot] Mmm-hmm. - But, I can tell.
Something really bad happened to you.
[Elliot] Well, that makes me feel great.
[Will] No, no, it's not a bad thing.
I have something like that too.
Who hurt you?
My ex-boyfriend/like the love of my life...
he disappeared.
Five years ago.
Like one of those true crime things
just like completely gone.
[Will] Oh, shit.
Yeah, he's presumed murdered, actually.
All he left behind was a puddle of blood,
and a severed finger.
And a twin sister who's, like...
She's like my best friend/ housemate which sounds toxic,
but isn't.
But they never found the body though.
And his cat was gone.
So it's like a part of me just thinks he, like,
he, like, ran away.
And he's, like, living it up somewhere tropical.
It's a bit easier to swallow than the alternative, isn't it?
Sorry.
That was a lot.
Is that too much?
No. Of course not.
[message alert tone]
[rhythmic music playing]
[softly] Jess.
[rhythmic music continues]
[rings intercom]
Will? It's Elliot. I'm outside.
[door buzzes]
[yelps]
[Will] Let me take you somewhere else after this. You'll love it.
[Elliot] So you're really not gonna
tell me where we're going?
[Will] No. But I promise you'll like it.
[Will] A taxi would have been quicker.
But I thought we'd take the scenic route.
[Elliot] No, no, it's lovely.
[Will] Okay. It's just round the corner.
[Elliot] Shall we go inside?
Hang on. I need to do this.
[romantic music playing]
[heavy bass music playing]
Ooh. [exhales]
Come on.
- [Elliot] Oh. - [both laughing]
[muffled dance music playing]
[knocks]
[door creaks]
William?
[device whirring]
[sinister music playing]
[inaudible]
[screaming]