[energetic music playing]
[breathing heavily]
- It's okay. - [groans]
Will's gone.
And his finger was in there.
[sobbing] It's happening again.
[sobbing and coughing]
- Erm, Detective. - Hi, officer.
[police officer speaks indistinctly]
You know what's in there, right?
The thing?
Yeah, I know.
I think it's about time you told me
what the hell is going on here.
So, the guy who lives here,
well, he invited me over, and I showed up,
and I, erm, I found his finger.
You mean this finger?
[Elliot] Oh, my God.
Why the fuck are you holding it like that? That's evidence.
- Oh, my fuck... - What are you doing?
Get it out of your fucking mouth!
- He just ate the evidence! - [Jess] Stop him!
[both] Hello!
[Elliot] Oh, fuck. It's not real?
I don't get it.
It's cake, you knobheads.
What? No. But the blood...
It's from a party shop.
So, I'll ask you again, what the hell is going on here?
I swear, I thought it was real. Really, I did.
[Jess] Someone is playing a messed up prank.
We had something like this happened to us before,
just a few years ago. But it was a real finger.
[detective] I know all about that.
Peter Ono disappeared without trace five years ago,
apart from a finger, which was left in his Liverpool apartment.
Discovered and called in by his boyfriend, Elliot Byrd.
That's you, isn't it?
- Yeah. - And here we are,
five years later,
and the same Elliot Byrd is calling in another finger
from another boyfriend.
Now, why would that be?
That... That's literally what I called you for.
Maybe Elliot Byrd wants attention.
- That's not it. - That's not what's happening...
Maybe Elliot Byrd doesn't have an alibi for the day
his boyfriend disappeared.
- No, I was at the beach! - Or there's more about
what happened to Peter Ono than he originally said.
- You can't be serious. - You know what? Fuck you.
If you know so much about my brother's case,
you know that Elliot was totally cleared as a suspect.
I've been with him all night. He didn't do it.
He is the victim in all of this.
And you are an arse for saying that it could be something else.
Someone is trying to fuck with him.
Bit of a dramatic way to fuck with somebody.
Isn't it?
[Elliot] Come on, let's go.
I can't believe that scary, sexy policeman.
All this for attention?
Who the fuck would do that?
I mean, who the fuck would do that?
And are the police even gonna do anything about it.
A cake finger. We're being fucked with, Jess.
The DNA thing.
The cat at Le BarkBark.
That messed up mask of me.
- Fucking fake fucking... - Finger!
We need to track down Will.
He's clearly some sicko who has targeted you.
What? No, we don't know that.
We're at his flat.
Elly, he's the one that told you to come here.
But still, he could be the one in trouble.
- We don't know that he did this. - Then who did?
I don't know. But maybe it was Peter.
Back for revenge.
Revenge for what?
I don't know, because I'm moving on.
I finally found a guy I connected with.
Elliot, it's been five years.
You went on one date.
You actually think that
is the thing that would bring my brother out of hiding?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I jus...
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
I know it's not Peter doing this.
I'm sorry. That was a fucked up thing to say.
I didn't mean it like that, erm...
[sputters] I just want him back, okay?
I don't care how.
[sobbing]
I know how it looks with Will,
but please, Jess, you've got to listen to me.
I really don't think it's him.
What if he's in trouble, too?
[man] Hey, guys.
Do you know what makes me feel better after a hard day?
A hot bowl of shepherd's pie.
Fuck off, creep!
- Elliot, I know him. - Hey, I'm Rigby.
He gave me a lift. I thought he was a taxi.
It was dark.
Rigby, this is private.
What are you still doing here?
I thought you might need a lift home.
Oh, thanks. But, no.
Oh. Okay.
- Sorry. - [engine starts]
[Elliot] Actually, we do kind of need a lift right now.
Getting a taxi is hell at this hour.
His van smells like feet. [groans]
[car horn honks]
I love you, okay?
Whatever the fuck is going on,
we're going to figure it out together.
Yeah, we have to.
Yeah, we'll go straight to the shelter the second it opens,
I don't know if that's actually Peter's cat.
It's probably just, like, a fake cat, like the fake finger.
- Elliot. - I know...
We have to at least try.
[sighs] Yeah, of course.
Oh, it's not open for six hours.
Nothing to do till then, I guess.
Oh, my God.
Do you know what place we're near right now?
No, we can't...
[dance music playing] ♪ Multicoloured toys
♪ And we play with all the boys
♪ We got the sinners We got the saints
♪ Who are fluid in the brain
♪ We, we are the world
♪Let's go, let's go ♪
Were on the same side. You know that, right?
- Always. You're all I have. - You're all I have.
Like, I'm not joking when I say that.
I'm, like, same. That thing I said before
about Will being a sicko, that wasn't me being, like,
oh, there's no way a guy would actually like you...
- Stop. - ...because you're so fit, Elly.
Stop, okay?
You don't have to say that.
I was being an idiot, protecting my ego.
All that, it was stupid of me to say it was Peter.
Like, how the fuck dare I?
Like, he'd never do anything like that if he was alive.
But can you imagine if he was, though?
You know what?
As fucked as this all is,
I really feel like we are
finally going to find out what happened.
And we heard nothing for five years,
then, three huge things in one day.
And they call it the Holy Trinity for a reason.
Because when things come in threes,
you're going to get what you need.
Oh, my God, you are so right.
- Elliot. They are so right. - Yeah.
Sorry. What's your name?
- Thornley. - Thornley?
Ooh. You're a psychic, right?
A medium, yeah.
Oh, my God. Can you give us a reading, please?
We really need it.
Yeah. We're so fucking lost right now.
Oh, my God, yes.
Youse two,
you've known each other a while, haven't ya?
Oh, years.
No, beyond that.
I'm talking, over multiple lives.
- My God. I've always felt that. - I love you!
The first time youse two met
was years before Jesus Christ himself was born.
- Oh, we're BC, babe. - I knew it.
You were two pieces of algae
on a slab of rock in the Baltic Sea.
Oh, my God, I love that.
- I love that. - [Elliot] Like, seriously.
Now for the individual readings.
[groans] Oh.
I sense a reunion of souls coming for you.
Maybe a friend you haven't seen in years,
or a former lover who your psyche isn't quite done with.
What about a missing brother?
[Thornley squeals]
Definitely, a very real possibility.
You promise? You're not just saying that?
I would never just say that.
Now, you.
[inhales deeply]
Buckle up, baby.
Because true, raw, passionate love
is coming your way in the form of an earth sign.
And I just happen to be a Taurus.
I can sense you're holding back.
[Elliot] I'm sorry. It's not you.
It's just, things are, like, a little bit nuts right now.
I mean, same here.
Okay. But, like, erm,
- things are like really nuts. - [Jess] Done yet?
The shelter's about to open.
Oh, shit.
[Thornley] Bye, I guess.
Oh, you've got a gorgeous aura.
I can feel it from all the way over here.
[Elliot whoops and laughs]
Okay, but have we talked about
how that policeman, like, definitely had a vibe for you?
- [Jess] Oh, I was thinking that. - [both laugh]
You killed him.
Euthanised?
It's Heavenly Tails, not Earthly Tails.
Oh, Elly, he's gone.
It's okay.
What's the big deal over this cat?
You're the second person to ask about him today.
- What do you mean? - Well, like I said,
another lad came in, looking for the same cat.
I'm just trying to understand the appeal
as it is a very ugly animal.
Maybe it's the guy from the CCTV.
What did the guy look like?
Well, you know, er, tall-ish, hair was dark, handsome.
- Will. - Peter?
Let's just find a picture.
Excuse me, sir. Is it either of these guys?
Yes, That's the sweet lad. I'm sure of it.
Holy shit.
- Elly. - Oh, my God.
[chuckles] My God.
[both exclaim softly]
And there again.
Yeah, that's him again. No question.
[Elliot] What?
What the fuck, dude. Which one?
Aren't they of the same person?
Are you kidding? They look totally different.
Don't get snappy with me.
I'm still recovering from laser eye surgery.
I fucking can't. I'm too hungover and sad for this.
My bladder needs a cry. Er, I'll meet you outside.
[Jess] What you doing?
What is that?
It's nothing.
What the hell?
"Killer"?
It says "Killer" on our scooters.
Just some animal freak or something.
Or the other person that was looking for the cat.
What is with all this sketchiness?
I'm not being sketchy. I'm just protecting...
No, don't keep shit from me, Elliot.
I can't handle that right now.
Okay. I'm really sorry.
I just didn't want to stress you out more.
So, what now?
I need to go home and shower before I keel over and die.
Then I'm gonna go find out who I matched with on that DNA app.
How?
Their office is in town. So, I'm just gonna stop by before work.
I thought you said it wasn't Peter.
I mean...
I have to find out for sure, don't I?
Do you wanna come with me?
No, I need to find a new job.
This is my first non-app-date in, like, three years.
So, I was on the floor, waiting.
[quirky music playing]
[inaudible]
Hello, there.
I was wondering if you could help me with something.
There's a virtual assistant in the app, you know?
I explored that option already.
You'll see in there that they were quite unhelpful.
I'm a consumer of your lovely service,
and recently got a match with an unknown relative
who sent some specific and ominous messages
leading me to believe they were my twin brother
who's been missing for the past five years.
Er, do you think you could give me, like,
I don't know,
an address or something?
We can't give you any of that information.
You are the twelfth,
"Oh, it's my long-lost brother"
that we've had this week.
For all I know, you're a psycho.
You could kill people.
Or eat them.
Interesting.
But I don't.
Erm. I'm just desperate to find out
who sent those messages.
Please?
- If there's anything you can do. - Not a single thing.
- But that's my brother. - No.
- He's my twin. - No.
- Do you have siblings? - No! [echoes]
Get the fuck out of here.
Jesus.
You don't have to swear.
Er, hey, do you have a lighter?
Thanks so much.
[groans]
That doesn't smell like a cigarette.
Oh, because it's not.
Cigarettes are gross.
Except yours.
Oh, yeah. What's that then?
Erm, this is some
CBD and sage thing a psychic gave me in a club last night.
He said it'd help me manifest stuff.
What are you trying to manifest?
[exclaims in embarrassment]
You know...
Are you staring at my dick?
Ew! No.
I was... just...
The first boy I ever kissed
was called Eugene.
Come on, Will, I know you're here somewhere.
[tense music playing]
[panting]
Who are you?
I am looking for Will.
Is that the pissfuck who drilled a hole in my ceiling
and spilled shit on my floor?
Erm, I don't know. Maybe. Sorry. Who lives here?
Dozens a year! Chinese, the Spanish,
even some Koreans one time.
Lesbians, coeliacs, sex freaks.
But none of them ever drilled a hole in my ceiling.
Okay. So, Will doesn't live here?
This is like a rental?
I don't know his name.
I don't like to know anyone's name.
It makes a person a bit too real for my taste.
Look, I got a text, erm, last night that my friend was here.
I don't know if he's the one who sent it,
but, basically, he's missing.
Missing, yeah?
On the day that he owes me £2,000, yeah?
I don't think so.
Bit too convenient, if you ask me.
- No, no. - [door locking]
[phone buzzes]
[Laurent barks]
[LawDaddy echoing] How do I know you?
[flat owner] I can hear you breathing through the wall.
Listen, Jess, LawDaddy is our guy.
He definitely left that cat at Le BarkBark.
He's probably the one who got to Will.
I mean, Will probably didn't even
send that text last night inviting me over.
Somebody got to him, and that somebody is LawDaddy.
[Jess] So what do we do?
Knock on every door in the area till we find LawDaddy?
No. I'm going to swipe his address from the Le BarkBark.
You're gonna break in?
Yeah, I am.
You know, see if there's any leads, any sign of Will.
It's kind of horny of you, Elliot.
I was kind of hoping it would be a "we" situation.
Can you come?
Of course, I'm not letting you go alone.
Great.
But it might be late. I've got Bonnie's cake tasting.
Didn't she get engaged, like, two days ago.
I know, Jess. I know.
The fact that I have to go to that
when all I want to do is find this LawDaddy fuckhead.
Like, he could have killed Will.
And Peter.
Yeah, maybe.
Erm, so, I went to those DNA offices.
- [phone beeping] - Oh. Sorry, babe.
I think my food's here.
Can you text me about it?
Yes, sorry. I'm just coming down. Thanks.
That's fine. I'll just go fuck myself, then.
Oh. You're in early.
Cute look.
[Jess grunts]
[Raphael sniffing]
Raphael, are you actually angry at me?
I am annoyed, Jessica.
I'm sorry for leaving early yesterday.
It was personal stuff, like, family stuff.
And what about today?
You're late by, like, 16 whole seconds.
Raphael, what's this about?
It's about you being unprofessional.
Then why have I got the most slays on the board?
Ooh, I've been slayed.
I'm your boss, Jessica, not your friend.
- Okay, Raph. - I'm serious.
Okay, Raph.
[Raphael] Jessica, are you seriously texting right now?
[dance music playing]
♪ I'm ready
♪ Again
♪ And you
[doorbell rings]
♪ I know ♪
That one's too sad.
It's like I'm eating a friend.
Plus, where are his lips?
No.
Oh, my Elly boy. Thank God.
Someone who isn't a nightmare.
- Honeysuckle, get him a glass. - Hi, Grandma.
Er, Honeysuckle, the white, please.
White?
[hesitates] I think I'm allergic to red now.
- I keep breaking out in hives. - Well, that could be stress.
Have you been naughty?
No. No, no, never.
Okay.
But, you know, I'll always worry about you.
Yes, because you're the best grandma.
Oh. Did you hear that, Honeysuckle?
Isn't he delightful?
He's remarkable, my lady.
Bonnie, you haven't said a word to your nephew.
Word.
Bonnifred, behave like an adult, please.
[Elliot] Hey, aunt Bonnie.
Congratulations on the engagement.
See, you're an arsehole, and he's still nice to you.
He's faking it, Mum.
Oh, for Christ's sake, you're 45.
[amusing music playing]
[Eugene] Hey.
[Jess] So, tell me about what you do.
You're at that DNA company, right?
I built the site.
Wow. So, you probably have access
to all the accounts on there.
That must be crazy, being able to see a bunch of people's
DNA and...
billing addresses and stuff like that.
I'm sorry. Do you mind if we don't talk about work?
Yeah. Sure.
Of course.
Do you want to do a shot?
[horse neighs]
[cutlery clinking]
This is so lovely, but I really do need to get going.
But it's your aunt's cake tasting, Elliot.
- You can't leave. - Yes, he can.
Bonnie wanted to ask you about something.
No, actually, I didn't.
- [Bonnie grunts] - [Elliot yelps]
[grunts]
[door slams]
Bonnie wants you to be McCoughley's best man.
No, Grandma, she doesn't.
Fine. I want you to be McCoughley's best man.
Why Grandma?
Because this whole ordeal is so embarrassing.
McCoughley Hamburgerson is up to no good.
There is no way that a handsome underwear model
would be interested in your aunt.
The very best case is he's using her for money.
The worst is that he's a pervert attempting to traffic her.
Oh, no.
You think?
Hmm. Poor Bonnie.
Your naivete is a gift, Elliot.
Never lose it.
But don't let it cross over into delusion.
I want you to keep a close eye on this Hamburger.
He's supposed to be arriving in Liverpool on Saturday.
That's really soon.
Well, the wedding's on Saturday.
- Saturday? - Yes, this Saturday.
That's why I'm paying for all this ho-ho, hum-hum.
It's to force McCoughley's hand into showing his cards
so your sad aunt can continue with her sad life.
Do you know what he told her?
He doesn't believe in speaking out loud to each other
before marriage.
Your aunt has fallen in love with a picture on the Internet.
But Grandma, I have this thing on Sat...
No, I'll be there. Of course.
I love you, Elliot.
I'm so proud of the man I've raised.
I wish your mother could see you.
And I know all this talk about marriage
must be very upsetting for you when you have no one.
I am all right, Grandma.
So, I told Hamatha that you would take
her granddaughter out, who's just moved back to town.
- No, Grandma. - But she's a beautiful girl.
She's a model
of high-end brands, expensive brands.
It would be good for you.
And she could be your date for the wedding.
And everyone could see
how handsome you were with a girl on your arm.
I'll pay for it, of course.
- [phone buzzes] - Sounds good, Grandma.
Wonderful.
[groans softly]
- Here's to us. - [pop music playing]
- [Jess] Two or three? - I've work tomorrow.
♪ And I
♪ I must confess I still believe
♪ I still believe ♪
[singing flatly] ♪ Sexy, beautiful
♪ But far too deep
♪ For sympathetic eyes
♪ Young and beautiful And fast asleep
♪ We sh... ♪
Jess, where the fuck are you?
I'm leaving you a voicemail. That's how serious this is.
[grunts]
[quirky music playing]
[softly] Oh, shit.
[both scream]
Elliot Byrd, what do you think you're doing here?
I am so sorry. Erm...
I am so sorry. It's so good to see you.
I was just I was just picking up my stuff.
That should be all.
That's my paperweight, Elliot.
I got it in Arizona.
Oh, right. Okay. Oh, yeah. No, you're right.
Mine's at home.
Well, it's been great, Janelle, you know, really.
Thank you for the opportunity.
I'm just really sorry it didn't work out.
But I will see you at the wedding.
Elliot.
Uh-huh.
Why did you break into my office last night?
I had too much to drink. Sorry.
I know you were looking at the CCTV footage.
So, I'll ask you again.
Why did you break into my office last night?
To look at the CCTV footage.
Ooh, I know that, you pillock!
What did you see on those tapes, Elliot?
Oh, you mean, "Did I see the truck full of animals
"getting shipped off to the slaughterhouse?"
Heavenly Tails is a reputable organisation.
Is that so?
Well, how do you think Liverpool is going to react
when it's leaked that
Janelle Brocklehurst, beloved humanitarian socialite
sends her abandoned pets to the kill shelter?
Probably similarly
to how your grandmother will react
if she learns you've been fired.
So, we have an understanding.
I believe we do.
Sorry, just to clarify the understanding,
I stay quiet and I'm not fired any more,
or I stay quiet and you won't tell my grandmother I'm fired.
The latter.
Okay.
[exhales]
[Janelle] Elliot.
Whatever else you saw on those tapes,
if you tell a soul,
I promise to ruin your life.
Yeah, got it.
[door locks]
[exhales]
[sighs]
[trilling]
[Eugene and Jess laughing]
Shut up!
I want to be honest with you.
And this was before I found out how cool you were, okay?
- So, don't be upset. - Go on.
[people singing and chattering in background]
I only flirted with you because I wanted you
to get me info on an All X & Y profile that I matched with.
I knew it was something.
But you're hot. So, it was...
- whatever. - Oh, Eugene.
I'm sorry for being fake
because, now, I actually kind of like you.
Actually kind of like me, huh?
[Eugene laughing]
I really needed tonight.
Thank you.
Jess, are you okay?
Hey,
What is it? What's wrong?
Erm... It's just,
it's my brother... Well, my twin.
I'm trying to find him.
He just completely disappeared,
like, off the face of the earth.
And I have no idea how I'm ever supposed to just, like...
feel okay ever again.
- How could you? - With Elliot.
That's my brother's boyfriend who's also my best friend.
I feel like I am always taking care of his pain,
and tending to his grief.
It's just, like,
why can't someone do that for me?
Oh, my God. [groans] Erm...
I'm crying on a first date.
I'm sorry for crying on a first date.
Don't be.
I am so overwhelmed with everything.
It's super triggering to that time...
The DNA match you came to All X & Y to get info on...
You think it's him?
Your missing brother?
- I know it sounds crazy. - Hey, stop that.
If me giving you details on your DNA match
can even help you a little,
I'll do it.
- Really? - Of course.
Hello. Erm, I'm the dog walker
for apartment, er, 201.
I don't know if Timothy put me down,
but he said... Okay, great.
Thank you so much. I'll be right down.
Okay.
User 32894's credit card
is registered to a blocked company.
What does any of that mean?
Just that we don't have a name.
But we do have a billing address.
Oh, amazing.
That's in the middle of nowhere.
I could take you.
Actually, I'm sorry. I can't take you.
But I'll come with.
Seriously.
I do know someone who could drive us.
- [Laurent barks] - [Elliot gasps]
[shushing]
What do I do when I get there?
Take it one step at a time. You just gotta knock.
What if it's not him?
Then, you'll have peace of mind.
I really want it to be him.
Jessica, can I get you a water or anything?
Oh.
[Laurent whimpering]
Bag dog, bad dog.
[Laurent barks]
[Laurent barking]
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Stain remover.
- Fuck! - [Laurent barking]
Piss off!
[Elliot] I love your nails.
Thanks. The colour's called blood sex.
You sure this is the right spot?
[Rigby] That's the address you gave me.
It should just be a quarter of a mile up this road.
We're in the woods.
Is that a witch's cottage?
I mean, it's a cottage.
[handbrake creaks and door opens]
This is the place.
You sure you want to go alone?
I hope you see him.
[dramatic music playing]
[Laurent barking]
Oh, you've pissed everywhere.
[thuds]
[footsteps approaching]
- [both scream] - [Elliot] Fuck!
[Timothy] Come back here! Who are you?
No! No! No!
[Timothy] You're dead! Ouch!
- [Elliot] No, no, no, no... - [Timothy grunting]
Get off me! Get off me! Get off me!
What the fuck are you doing in my home?
Get off me! Get off me!
[both grunting]
I said, what the fuck are you doing in my... [grunts]
[both grunting and yelping]
Pease don't hurt me.
What the fuck are you doing in my home?
[both grunting]
[Elliot] I can't... I can't breathe.
[gasping]
Hang on.
[laughing maniacally]
I know who you are.
Who?
Who am I?
Who?
[music playing]